Date Yourself Instead - How to trust the process of your life & manifest faster

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

Trusting the process of your life can be a scary thing to do when it feels like everything is falling apart. It's also harder when you're trying to manifest things and you just feel blocked, stagnant and not your best self. Here is my best advice when it comes to trusting your journey, and how to manifest and attract the best things into your life faster. If you loved this episode, would mean the world if you rated on Spotify and sent me a dm on instagram @lyss @dateyourselfinstead. Love you.

So I was talking to one of my best friends about this concept of manifesting and how we can manifest faster. And a couple of years ago, I went through a two-year period where I felt super stagnant. I felt like I couldn't manifest shit. I felt like literally everything that I was trying to manifest wasn't happening. And I was doing everything in my power to try to get it to happen faster. But for some reason, I just felt super stagnant. I felt super stuck and I was getting increasingly frustrated because when I was younger, I felt like I had a much freer sense of the word manifestation. I think everyone hype set up now on social media and it's all over the place and everyone

talks about manifestation and the love of attraction. But in reality, I think harping on the idea of actually having to manifest things is what actually prevents us from getting it. And I'll go into detail about that because honestly, when I didn't know what manifestation really was, I was able to attract more into my life because there was no pressure around asking the universe for a sign or asking the universe for what we wanted. There was no concept of that in my head. So when I was much younger and I wanted something, it would kind of just cross my mind and then I would let it go detach from it. I wouldn't

have any crazy expectations around it. And then when I just let go and I just live my life and move down with my day, that's when things started to really happen. And I think also just from social media too, we think that manifestation simply happened overnight and they happen within a day of us writing something down in our notes and saying, this is what I want and we expect it so instantly and we expect that instant gratification because we're so used to seeing things so fast happening to everyone else and if we're comparing ourselves to people's lives online, it can be increasingly frustrating

when we're not getting what we want. But the truth is a lot of the times when we put out a manifestation into the universe, it could take months, it could take years, and it might not look like that when we're seeing everyone else living their best life on Instagram, but in reality, a lot of good things do take time. And when I was talking to my best friend about this, she's a manifestation coach and she talks about the law of attraction and all this stuff on her Instagram. Her name is Hailey, you might have

seen her on my story a bunch of times. We were talking about how the more you let go into touch and you really just don't give a fuck, that's when all the manifestations start to come in. That's when your life starts to get really good and sometimes just surrendering and opening yourself up to the possibility that anything is possible at any given time and at any given moment, anything can change in your life, that is the key to actually attracting faster and attracting literally everything you've ever wanted. I think also placing your trust in a higher power and understanding that there is a higher force that work guiding you and helping you through life and helping you through the hard times

and the roadblocks and the challenges, and leading you eventually into something much better. It can be really helpful when you're going through a period of feeling stagnant and stuck. And when I was going through this period of stagnation for two years straight, and I felt like I couldn't get anything I wanted, and I was becoming increasingly upset over it because I felt like my couldn't get anything I wanted and I was becoming increasingly upset over it

because I felt like my life was just getting increasingly worse over time. Like when one thing would happen, it would cause a domino effect and something bad would happen. And then for the next two years, things just felt like they were getting worse instead of better.

So it felt like I was constantly getting blocked from achieving what I wanted, from achieving my goals, and from actually attracting all the things I had wrote down in my phone and my notes. I'm used to just seeing things happen fast. And for some reason, nothing was happening. And over time, if it takes a long period of time and you're getting impatient

and then you're comparing yourself to everyone else's lives, you can get increasingly frustrated, depressed, upset, discouraged, and those emotions are not going to make it easier to attract what you want into your life. Those emotions can actually make it harder and block you from receiving what you want. So I think just believing that there is some sort of higher power and the universe is really there to just guide you and help you. And you have to just open yourself up to the fact that we're all going to go through periods of ups and downs and not everything is going to be smooth sailing and perfect

and instantaneous all of the time. And we have to have patience and trust and understand that there's a lot of faith that needs to be placed in what we're trying to receive. I'll give you one example really quickly before I dive into the next segment of this. So I started the podcast with really, really, really high expectations in a way in the sense of,

I was like, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this full time, and I'm gonna make money from doing this instead of doing what I was doing previously, which was travel blogging, and I kind of lost that career due to COVID, and I couldn't travel anywhere. So I had to pivot my entire brand. I was on TikTok talking about my dating stories, and then people were asking for a podcast,

and it just made sense as the next career move. But at the same time, I think once I started the podcast, I had this expectation that I was going to be making money right away. I was going to sign to a network and I would just be doing it full time within a month or two. And maybe that sounds crazy to some people like because I just have really high expectations for myself. And I believe that if you set really high expectations for yourself,

you can get to the goal faster. However, I'm still working towards that goal now, and it's been almost nine months since I started the podcast. And the thing is, things are happening much slower than I expected them to. Things aren't manifesting exactly the way I had expected them to and hope for. But I'm still holding that unwavering faith that everything is going to turn out exactly the way I want it to because I believe in myself, I believe in the brand. I am so grateful for all of you who have supported the podcast who are listening to it. It means the world

to me. I wake up every day, really, really happy, regardless of the fact that my goals right now aren't exactly where I want them to be, career-wise, just because I know that this is my purpose, this is my calling, and I'm really passionate about it, and it's something that I really love to wake up in the morning and do. And when you find something that you're that passionate about, nothing is going to really stop you from doing it, regardless if you're making a lot of money or not. I think when you really find something that you fall in love with and you want to wake up and do every day, that's when you have that unwavering faith that everything eventually

is going to work out. It's the same thing with when you hear a famous music artist, right, and they were struggling and broke and lived out of their car for 10 years before they had their first single that popped off and then they became a celebrity. I know Ed Sheeran went through it, he was super broke, he was playing guitar on the street and had no money and was couch surfing for years. Same thing happened to Lizzo, she tells a story of how she was living out of her car and she was completely broke and she didn't have her breakout for years, I think it was like 10 years. So because they held onto the vision, despite the fact that things weren't working out instantly, and things weren't manifesting overnight, obviously it didn't become musicians and super

successful celebrities overnight, they were still able to carry out the vision and the dream and then stick to it. And after a lot of patients, and I'm sure a lot of blood, sweat and tears, and a lot of sleepless I'm sure a lot of blood sweat and tears and a lot of sleepless nights They got to the goal and they manifested what they want So I think also the point I want to make is that manifestations one don't always happen instantly and we have to take That expectation and throw it out the window because if we're expecting things to just miraculously happen overnight just because we put it out into the universe and we think, oh my god, you know, since I'm doing well in my life and I'm positive and I'm saying focus, it's going to happen right this second.

Sometimes that can make us really discourage and then throw out the plan altogether if it doesn't happen right away. And I'm guilty of this where I've set goals for myself, I've set intentions for myself that I wanted to achieve. And then when results didn't happen immediately, I would trash the whole idea out the window and I would stop whatever I'm doing. And I would just forget about the whole project altogether. I've stopped and started a million things in my career just because I felt like I wasn't seeing results immediately because my manifestations weren't coming through as fast as I wanted them to.

And not to say that I regret stopping any of those projects because it led me to other things, but at the same time, I think I didn't understand the value of patience and I didn't understand the value of trust and faith and putting your faith into whatever you're doing and holding out. And if you just hold out a little bit longer, that's when you usually manifest and reach the end goal. Also, this reminds me of the, there's like this, I don't know if it's a meme, but it's more like a graph of this guy who's chipping away at a rock and he's chipping away for a really long time and then he's right about to reach the diamond. And

instead of reaching it, he gives up at the last moment and there was like a giant diamond under the rock. I think it's like some sort of cartoon illustration. You could find it on Instagram and Pinterest. And it was a representation of how often we're so close to the finish line and we're so close to manifesting exactly what we want out of life. But because we immediately get discouraged and we want that instant gratification, we give up and we give up too soon and we give up right before the breakthrough.

And this is very common and it's normal. And understanding that now as an older, I realize that once you find something you're super all in for and you're super passionate about, keep the about, keep the faith, keep the dream and hold on to it. And don't let it go and don't give up just because it's not happening right away. Another cool thing to think about is that we are human magnets and we're constantly attracting

different circumstances and energy to us, whether we realize it or not, everything is consistent of energy. And every time I've truly just let go and trusted that and believed that I was a human magnet even though that sounds kind of funny and ridiculous. When I visualize myself as a magnetic force attracting everything that I want to me and holding that visualization and waking up every day and believing that I'm a magnet and I'm going to be able to attract all the things I wanted to my life, it really helps my mindset and I just feel like doing that visualization exercise in the morning for me has been such a game changer, just waking

up and meditating for 10 minutes before I even really go on my phone or do anything to start my day. I'll visualize myself as a human magnet. There's this golden light radiating outwards and inwards at all times because I have this powerful energetic field. Some people might be listening to this and saying, dude, you're delusional. But I really do believe that visualization is a huge part of the manifestation process. And just understanding that you really are a magnet and you are comprised of energy and everything that you're wanting to manifest is going to come to you when the time is right. And that doesn't mean you don't have to put in any work. It doesn't mean you're wanting to manifest is going to come to you when the time is right. And that doesn't mean you don't have to put in any work. It doesn't mean you're just going to attract

the perfect situation overnight with no effort. I always say that there's multiple parts to manifestation and getting what you want out of life. And another big part of it, aside from putting the intention forth into the universe, is actually one, trusting that it's going to happen and holding onto

that faith 24, 7, 365, and two, doing the work. You have to do some sort of inspired action towards the manifestation. For example, I just talked about the podcast goal. I obviously need to go in the studio and record episodes and be consistent and actually work towards that goal in order to achieve what I'm trying to achieve. And I want to touch millions of people's lives around the world and I want to make a huge impact. And I think part of my career is just the process of helping people.

And I think it's just such a beautiful thing. And I love doing it and waking up every day. And since I found that passion, it's easier for me to actually hold on to the goal. And it's easier for me to actually hold on to the goal. And it's easier for me to actually trust the process. But I still have to put in a ton of work, a shit ton of work. Yes, does it seem easy just sitting in recording in front of a microphone?

Technically, yeah. It looks easy on the outside, but I promise you, there's so many logistics that go into a podcast. You have to mark it the right way. You have to plan out what you want to talk about and write a base script of what you actually want to talk about and actually have it be interesting enough so people want to listen to your voice.

You also have to make sense. You have to be organized. You have to be structured. You have to be consistent. Consistency is a huge factor in having a successful podcast. Maybe I'll make a full episode of anyone's interested in the process behind the scenes of what I do, how I'm able to grow the podcast and build it, et cetera.

But it's a lot of work. And that doesn't mean I'm not manifesting. It just means that the manifestations are going to come with me actually putting in some sort of genuine effort. And because of social media, I used to believe that manifestation meant things would just come to me if I just set it out loud that I wanted it. And because I said I wanted it and I was in a good mood, it should happen for me. When in reality, that's not necessarily how it works. Sometimes it works in that way.

Even with relationships, if you're trying to manifest a soulmate and you really want to be in a relationship and you want to be with someone that you're going to spend the rest of your life with and you're currently single, you need to do things to go out and put yourself in a situation to meet people. You have to do something to meet someone. You're not going to meet someone by sitting on your couch and doing absolutely nothing. Yes, do dating apps help? Of course they help.

Personally, I don't really use dating apps at this time because I just prefer meeting people organically and I trust that I'm going to meet, you know, my person organically. I don't know how, but I trust that, right? And I think you have to take some sort of action in order to actually manifest. You have to take some sort of action, whether it's going for a walk and bumping into someone on the street or you're at a restaurant and someone approaches you or you take yourself out for drinks and someone sits down next to you and starts a conversation. Whatever it is, just putting yourself in some sort of situation in order to meet people is important if you're trying to meet someone.

And it makes perfect sense. But that doesn't take away from the fact that you manifested it. Manifestations also come in forms that you usually don't expect. Sometimes you put a certain intention out that you really want, and then the universe will deliver you something better or equal to that, or something that makes more sense, and then it all kind of clicks in the long term. I'll give you an example of this. Last year, I was begging the world for the best manager.

I was going through a lot of career changes and I wanted someone to represent me and to help me with brand deals and to help me take my brand to the next level. But I was doing everything by myself and I just felt like I couldn't for some reason. I just maybe didn't believe in myself that I could handle everything on my own and I was giving myself the narrative that I need a manager. I really need someone to help me. So what ended up happening, the very spark notes short summary version, is that I ended up settling for a manager. And it just wasn't the right fit.

And I knew that very early on into the relationship that it wasn't going to work out. But I think I just settled because I was looking and actively looking for someone to represent me. So when the opportunity came my way and I was like desperately seeking someone to help me with my business, I kind of just stuck to whoever said yes. And in a way, I feel like I really settled. So when it came time to actually dealing with that relationship, I was unhappy. And I think this happens in relationships too. If we're desperately looking for someone, for desperately looking for the next best thing, the next best person,

we can often just settle for the wrong partner because we're just in a mode of desperation. And we settle for someone that's not really going to make us happy long term. And it happens and some very common experience. So eventually I ended that relationship because I just truly wasn't happy and I felt like I wasn't comfortable and What ended up happening was I let go. I let go of the idea of needing anyone to represent me after that I was like fuck this. I'm gonna do everything by myself. I don't need anyone. I don't need anyone's help I don't need anyone's advice. I'm just going to do me and focus on my business and actually run the show myself because I know myself the best and I like being in control of my emails anyway. And I don't know, I was just suddenly something clicked in my brain where I realized that I

was capable of handling everything on my own and I didn't need anyone to help me. Which leads me to the next point. I let go and I surrendered of this idea of needing someone to help me. And literally a week after I had ended that business relationship, five different agencies reached out to me asking if I needed representation. For two years, I had been searching for representation. Two full years of me trying to pitch myself,

trying to go out there and find someone. And then when I finally said, fuck this, I'm done, two full years of me trying to pitch myself, trying to go out there and find someone. And then when I finally said fuck this, I'm done, I'm not interested in anyone's help. I could do all this myself. That's when I got emails from, I swear I kid you not. I had people begging to represent me. And it felt like magic.

It felt like suddenly I had attracted all of this into my life, the second I really attracted all of this into my life. The second I really detached from the idea of needing it. And I think that's such a big point to make here. If you detach from the idea of actually needing anything to happen for you, that's when it typically comes into your life. If you're desperately clinging on to this idea of needing something or needing a partner or needing a certain business deal to happen or go your way,

it often causes blocks in the manifestation process. And I think once you truly detach and let go of these crazy expectations that you might pin on yourself to get to a certain goal or to find the dream person that you're looking for, it really makes everything much easier when you fully learn how to detach. When it comes to dating, if you're also truly finally ready to let go of a relationship, because I know this is a mainly a dating podcast, and I want to tie this into relationships and dating because most of you listening to this are probably waiting for that. If you're finally ready to let go of a partner, you know it's not the right relationship,

but you keep holding on because you love this person person obviously, and you have emotional attachments to them. When you finally really make that decision to truly detach from them and let go, and you really, really make that decision, meaning there's no going back, and you don't see another way. You're just like, this is done, and this is what I need to do for my best interest. The universe will hear you loud and fucking clear and it will reward that decision-making and it will reward that energy shift in yourself and it will take you to a new experience

and a new opportunity and it'll level you up to a point where you're actually trusting yourself again and you start to move forward because you'll see it in different signs. When I've had to move on from some of my past breakups, I was holding on for months afterwards. I was clinging on to my partner and we were on and off for months afterwards because I was terrified. I was scared to let go.

I was scared to move on. I didn't trust. I didn't trust the plans that the universe had for me. I was like, this is the only person for me. I'm in love. I'm going to die without them. And that's normal because when you're attached to someone, when you've had years of memories with a person, it's totally normal because your brain is so used to being with that person 24-7,

calling them texting them, sleeping next to them. And you're so attached because that was the pattern you were in with them for so long. So when you're coming out of that, you're like, there's no way I could survive. Like you go into panic mode, you go into full fucking survival mode. There's no way I could do this. There's no way I can be without this person. It's impossible. And myself included, I've told myself the snared of many times, leaving relationships, especially my last relationship, because there were so many feelings involved. But when I actually made the decision to cut full energetic ties and understand that there was no way that this was going to work, and I said, you know what, for my mental piece

and for my sanity, I need to truly let go. When I spoke those words out onto the universe and then I believed it, you really have to internally believe it. That's the key here. It's not just about saying it. It's about actually fully, wholeheartedly believing that you're gonna be okay and that you're ready to let go.

That's when the magic happens in your life. That's when new opportunities are gonna show up for you. That's when you start to attract everything you've ever wanted, meet new people. It doesn't have to be meeting someone new in a romantic sense right away. But just meeting people that could help you heal and grow and show you that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. When you fully trust and actually shift your energy and you really, truly, truly believe that things are going to get better for you and that everything's going to work out better than you truly ever imagined, that's when the magic really starts to happen. Someone actually DM

me recently and asked me how I was always able to jump from relationship to relationship and find myself in a really serious relationship so people because they've never had a boyfriend. And I was really thinking about it because I wanted to talk more about it on the podcast and I think Part of the reason I've been able to manifest a partner fairly easily Is because I never harped on it. I never obsessed over the idea of needing to find someone instantly It wasn't like I was thinking about it 24 7 like oh, I need a boyfriend right now I really need a boyfriend like obviously there were moments where I felt that way But as a person I'm not like that. So I'm not the type of person who's desperately seeking out someone to be in a relationship

with. I think because I've never put these crazy expectations on it, and I've never said to myself, like, oh my God, if I don't find someone right now, like my life is over, I've never given myself that type of narrative, and I've never put pressure on myself to get married either. So I think everything combined about that type of energy is just easy. It makes it feel easy and effortless. I truly believe that I will find my soulmate. I have no doubts about that. I really do believe that I will get married and I'll be fine. And long term, everything's going to be great. And when you truly believe that at your core, even if you go through a few heart breaks,

it just constantly tells the universe that you're always open to change and you're always open to flexibility and new opportunities. And the universe does want what's best for you. And whether you believe in the universe, or I say universe because it's pretty generic, but people believe in God, whatever higher power that you are attached to, if you truly believe that power, that's going to say that person, I don't think God is a person, but if you truly believe that that higher power has your best interest and is looking out for you and protecting you, whether it's an angel, a guardian angel, or the universe, or whatever,

if you really wholeheartedly believe that that has your best interest at heart, regardless of what decisions you make in your life, everything gets a lot easier. If you really wholeheartedly believe that that has your best interest at heart, regardless of what decisions you make in your life, everything gets a lot easier. So this might sound a little silly, but in a little deep, but I would pray a lot when I was going through my breakup. And I would write a lot, I would write a lot in my journal in various different forms,

I guess, just talking to the higher power that I believe is watching over me. And I would say, like, I trust that everything is happening the way that it's supposed to. I trust that everything is unfolding exactly the way it's supposed to be. I trust that the right person is going to come into my life at the right time. I trust that this person, if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. And when you constantly trust, and I think that's such a big word in this episode in general, because it ties into the whole theme of the conversation, when you fully, fully have faith that everything is happening in divine timing for the right reasons and behind the scenes working for your best interests, even though maybe

you can't see it right now, that's when things start to change and shift for you. But oftentimes when we come out of something really painful or really traumatic, it can get a while to actually trust and believe again and have faith again. And I think that's kind of my advice if you're going through a breakup or a hard time or something isn't working out the way you expected or you know you feel like you're failing right now in some aspect

of your life. Just trust that everything is a process and this is your unique path and your unique journey and this is what's meant to happen for you at this current time in your life and it's happening to teach you something to help you grow, to help you evolve, and that's just super important. When you have that mindset and you trust the process, I actually, I think I've said this on every podcast episode. I'm so sorry, but I always say, trust the process of your life.

I have this set too on my arm, and I look at it every day. I love it because it's a reminder to myself, to trust the process of your life every single day and to understand that everything behind the scenes is actually working out for your highest good, whether it feels like it is or not. This is gonna be like a little pattern interrupt in the middle of the episode,

but I am so fucking tired right now and I'm slightly hungover. I had champagne for the first time in years, honestly, because I barely drink at all. And I don't like the way alcohol makes me feel at all. And this is why I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job speaking for some reason. Now I don't know how I'm functioning, but when I sat down and I was like about to record, I was like, I don't know how the fuck I'm gonna speak today because I'm hungover from one glass of champagne.

Yes, one glass of champagne wrecked my soul, but it was worth it because I'm in London right now, and I feel like when I'm in a new city, I like to try the drinks, and I like to try the new food and experience a new way of life and live a different lifestyle when I'm in different places because it makes me feel like I'm having fun and I'm by myself So why not I treated myself to a glass of

Champagne that almost killed me this morning, but it's all good. Okay back to the episode So another big thing that I hear a lot from people nowadays is it's impossible to meet someone naturally. It's impossible to meet someone organically. But how do you think people in the old days do it? How do you think your grandparents met? You know, I don't believe it's impossible at all. Just because we have technology and we have social media

and we have dating apps and things have been advanced and made easier and more accessible. That doesn't mean it's impossible to meet someone organically. And I hear it all the time now, like, oh, like, it's so hard to meet a good person just by chance. I've met all of my boyfriends by chance. And it was because I was never actively, desperately pining for it where I was like,

oh my god, like, I need to go on bumble, hinge, raya. And I need to download every dating app and Tinder and swipe away until I find my soulmate. I never did anything like that in my life. Yes, have I used dating apps? Of course, I have nothing against them. And I actually, I think they work for a lot of people. But if you're looking to meet someone organically,

the worst thing you could do is tell yourself that it's impossible, because then that will become your reality and it will be impossible. Because you're literally speaking that out loud to the universe and you're blocking yourself from it being possible. But if you truly believe that it is possible, that's giving you an opportunity and a window and it's also placing your trust in the hands of the universe and saying, I trust that I'm

going to meet my partner naturally in divine timing when it's right and we're both ready and we're both supposed to be connected to each other. Oftentimes I like to do exercises for myself to re-instate my trust by writing out letters to the person that I want to see myself with. For example, if I'm single and I have this episode on writing a love letter to your soulmate, I've done this multiple times and it's worked every time. I write a letter as if I'm already with this person and I write a letter as if I'm already in love and I'm going to about to give them the letter.

So you have to envision yourself basically already in love with this person. They already exist. They're already next to you and you're handing them an envelope with the card that you wrote. So how would you write that letter? So for me, I would write a letter, you know, to the love of my life. You make me so happy. I can't believe I found you, you know, blah, blah, blah. I'm not going to get into everything you should write because that's up to you.

But I write a letter out like that and it helps in still my faith that that's actually going to happen. And I swear I've manifested my last two boyfriends that way. I sound like a fucking creep, but I swear. It really does work. And I really stand by that method because it helps you knowing that you wrote something out to someone that will exist.

And you can actually give them the letter if they come into your life. And I've had multiple people who've listened to that episode on the podcast, reach out to me with photos of their new boyfriend and say that they manifested because of the letter that I spoke about. So it's really cool. The point is just trust. And I guess maybe I'll make the episode, I'll title the episode like, trust the process of your life or something, because that's basically all I've been saying, and I'm repeating myself a million times. So, okay. So tying back into this episode, letting go of control in a sense, and just really, really

believing in yourself, and knowing that everything is going to work out in your favor, and your life can change in such a wild instant. That's when it does. So how do you really let go and just not give a fuck and just go with the flow and trust the process? Number one, go listen to all my letting go into attachment episodes if you haven't already because I think they do have a lot of valuable information

in there. Also, number two, just having that own wavering faith, just knowing that it's going to happen. And you have no doubt about it, regardless of what everyone else around you is telling you. There might be people in your way too, telling you, oh, you're never going to meet someone. It's 2023. Who would date in 2023? Everyone just wants to fuck and leave you. I mean, maybe that was a little too aggressive, but it's true. I hear that all the time there's such a negative pessimistic view on dating in general. And I've had it myself included because if you go on 10 bad dates in a row, you

search a question, why the fuck am I doing this? This is draining and exhausting and I hate it. And I get that. However, having that unwavering faith that no matter how many frogs you kiss, your prince is out there waiting for you. In some way, shape or form, he's out there waiting for you, so you just have to be patient. Number three, I like to pray in a positive way. Just not begging the universe and saying, oh my god, I need this right now, or else my life is over. It's more of an energy of just trusting and talking to the universe. So I mentioned this earlier, but just praying every morning to whatever power you believe in. And if you don't believe in anything, then just try to talk to yourself and give

yourself an internal dialogue that everything is going to work out for you. And it's almost like a routine and a habit that you have to instill into your day in order to shift your mindset completely because sometimes it will take time, especially if you've been in such a stagnant mindset for so long and you're feeling discouraged and you're feeling down, give yourself time in patience and grace and understand that not everything is supposed to happen overnight. And a lot of things do take time and happen when the time is right. Another example I was recently thinking about

is when I chose not to go to Bali recently. And I was in the airport. This is a crazy story. I'm gonna try to condense it as much as possible. I was in the airport and I went to check my bag and I had a full blown panic attack. I almost fainted. I almost puked.

I felt sick to my stomach and I was about to check my luggage and the guy literally put the tags on my bag. And then I made this weird eye contact with him and I swear I almost passed out. And I felt like it was my intuition just screaming at me that don't go right now. Don't go. It's not the right time to go at me that don't go right now. It's not the right time to go.

I couldn't rationalize why. I was like, why am I being such a baby right now? Maybe I'm just scared to go so far away by myself. I thought it was initially fear, but then I realized it was actually my intuition yelling at me. I'll tell you why. It was a body experience. Like an out- out of body experience.

It wasn't like my brain was just like, oh, should you do the shoe, not do this? Because I think fears play, like that's what a fear is. I feel like when you start to question everything you're doing, that's when your fears play out. But my intuition was running through my body. And I feel like when you have a full body experience where your anxiety is about to make you pass out, that's probably a sign to run in the other direction. So my intuition screamed at me.

And I felt kind of crazy because I grabbed my bag from this guy who ticketed my bag and he was about to check it. And I was like, wait, hold on one second. And I grabbed the luggage from his hands and I run out of the airport. I literally saw an exit and I walked out of the airport called in Uber and I decided that instead of going

to Bali right now because it just didn't feel aligned, I was gonna book a different trip. I didn't know where yet. A few days had passed and then I decided I wanna go back to London. So I've been to book a different trip. I didn't know where yet. A few days had passed and then I decided I want to go back to London. So I've been to London several times, but I love London and I don't love the weather, so I was waiting for the right time to go when it was actually nice out. I checked the weather, the weather looked great, so I was like, I'm just going to go to London. I have no reasoning why I want to go, but this is where I'm going and set up Bali.

And here I am now, recording an episode in a studio in London, which is really cool. But number one, I'm so glad I trusted myself because I'm having a really amazing time here. And number two, I feel like for the first time in my life, things are just clicking and making a lot of sense because I'm actually trusting myself. And I put my trust in myself and in a higher power

watching over me that I was making the right decision by not going to Bali. I'm embracing a new city. I feel like I could actually move here temporarily. I met some girls out the other night who were super friendly, made me feel super welcome. And it just felt like I was supposed to be here instead of the other option. And I just let go of the fear that I had around changing my entire travel plans and coming here. Despite the fact I had no idea what I was doing and why I was changing them. I didn't have any grand reasoning for why I couldn't go to Bali. So, I mean, there were a few signs prior to going, which made it feel really difficult. It felt like there were so many roadblocks to even book the tickets, book the hotels and everything. And it was a really stressful booking process.

So I will say that, that was one red flag. But overall, I think I still would have been fine if I went there. I just didn't feel like it was aligning with my purpose right now. And that doesn't mean I won't ever go. But I just felt like I had to be in London for some reason.

Now I'm sitting in a podcast studio in London. I'm recording this episode and I just had such an amazing last week here where I've really just had a lot of time to myself. I've been working on myself. I've been enjoying a lot of alone time just experiencing the city. It's beautiful out and I have no regrets about trusting myself in that sense. And my point to this story is, I do think that trusting yourself, trusting your intuition, trusting your gut, and actually making decisions based around that, and understanding that everything is working out for you

behind the scenes, even if you don't understand what you're doing in the moment, that's when opportunity happens. And yes, when I got on the plane to London, I felt a little bit confused. I felt regretful in a way. I was like, did I make the wrong decision? Why am I doing this?

But once I landed, I actually felt a sigh of relief. And I felt like, yes, I had trusted myself. And I'm so glad I didn't make that other decision. And there's a whole other background story to that, decision to go to Bali and why I was going to go there in the first place. But I think I'll have to record that on a different day because it's a very long, interesting, complicated story. I've always wanted to go there, but every fucking time I've

tried to book a trip there, something blocked it. It's so bizarre. And I don't know what it is. And I feel like I would love it there, but at the same time, it's really fascinating because I was supposed to go there in 2020 and I had flights booked there April 2020. And COVID happened. So I had to cancel everything. I never ended up making it there. And I was completely blocked from going then too. So I don't know, just very interesting. Maybe I'm not supposed to go there right now, but who knows? Sometimes we're just not going to understand the logic and the reasoning behind why we make certain decisions in life. Sometimes we're just trusting based off of the feeling. And that's how I live my life. I base my decisions off of my feelings. If I feel

good about something, if it feels aligned, if I have a good gut feeling about it, that's the direction I'm going to go in. If I feel unsure, if I feel anxious, if I feel uneasy, I might take a step back and reconsider that decision. My dad, actually, I called him in the airport before, I made the decision not to go, because although he's very traditional and we have a lot of differences, obviously, he makes some good points sometimes. And if you're close with your dad, obviously,

you might understand that, but I don't know, your parental relationships, if this is, I don't know if this is gonna apply to you if you're not close with your parents, but I have a pretty good relationship with him and sometimes I go to him for advice, even though I'm 30, I still like to ask him for advice sometimes. So I called him at the airport and I said to him, you know, I'm having so much anxiety to the point where I'm shaking and I'm about to puke and I don't know why and I don't know if I'm just scared to go or there's a better option for me. And maybe I'm not supposed to be there right now.

And he said, when in doubt, get out. Just trust yourself and leave. Like if you feel that anxious about it, it's obviously you should be excited. Was this point? You should be excited to go. You should be happy to go. And it's an amazing experience. So if you're feeling that much anxiety about it, something's off. So just make the decision not to go right

now, and it's not the end of the world, there will be more opportunities. You could go at a different time if you need to. Like, don't overthink it. It went and doubted out. That was his famous quote, and he says that about everything in business too, in relationships anything, which I kind of agree with. It's very simplified. So that really helped me. And I think it's a really good point to make. When you're really, really, really not sure about something, it's better to hold off on that decision and wait until it feels right or feels aligned.

And that's how I live my life. So it's a lot of trust, it's a lot of faith, and it's also just knowing yourself and knowing what's best for you and trusting that you know what's best for you and not basing your decisions around other people or basing your thoughts and your perspectives on what everyone else is saying. Because if I had listened to everyone else saying, oh, like dating sucks, it's the worst. You're never going to find anyone, this day and age because no one cares about anyone anymore. There's a lot of toxic mentalities around dating now because, yes,

is it easier to get cheated on because of social media? Is it easy to have a toxic relationship because of the world we live in now? Maybe, but at the same time, it doesn't mean you can't find true authentic love. It doesn't mean you can't find a healthy relationship. I'd rather focus on that and the positive saying I know I'm still gonna find healthy love I'm not gonna listen to this bullshit because back in the day Maybe you didn't have phones whatever, but I'm sure people still were not loyal and I'm sure people were still assholes, so I don't think the phone is you know a reflection of someone's character. I think you are who you are and If you're a cheater, you're a cheater, if you're a liar, you're a liar, you get the point.

I don't think it's just social media and the world we live into blame. I think there's multiple factors involved here. So if you trust that everything is gonna work out for you and you're gonna find the love of your life and you're gonna get the job that you want, et cetera. That's when life gets so much better and that's when it actually happens

when you put your unwavering faith into it. And with that being said, thank you for listening to today's episode. If you haven't rated the podcast on Spotify and Apple, I would so appreciate it. It takes literally two seconds and I've been loving your feedback on Instagram so far. You could always DM me at lists or on the podcast account at date yourself instead. I love you, thanks again, and stay tuned for next Monday. or on the podcast account at date yourself instead. I love you, thanks again, and stay tuned for next Monday.