Date Yourself Instead - How toxic relationships can make you sick

Episode Date: February 10, 2025

Protect your energy and heal your life. Toxic relationships CAN take a toll on you physically - here's my story.⁠JOIN MY MASTERCLASSES HERE⁠⁠If doors are not open, be sure to join the waitlist and you will get instantly notified when they become available again.Mind Body Soul Reset - shifting your energy for a major ultimate glowup, inside and outDare to Detach - detach from your toxic relationship and take your power backBoth of these classes combined are designed to help you become absolutely unstoppable and change your life for the LONG TERM. Can't wait to see you there! :) x 

On today's episode, I'm going to talk about how toxic relationships and people and situations can make you physically ill. And when you feel something's really off in your body, you should be allowed to trust it without being convinced you're crazy, without being convinced that you're a psycho or that something's wrong with you, or that you're an emotional basket case because that person doesn't want you to know the truth. We as women, we are very intuitive, emotional creatures. We feel things, we absorb things, and we're very emotionally intelligent. And it's not to say that men aren't emotionally intelligent,

but the issue here is a lot of the time, and from all the stories I've heard, all the messages I've gotten, and from myself included, I've seen this problem come up time and time again of people trying to convince you out of your gut instincts and your intuition and what you know is true. Deep down at your core you know if something's off in your relationship, with a friendship, with a family member, with anything. In any circumstance your core and your soul is always

communicating with you at every single time but we tend to ignore it or logically try to convince ourselves out of how we're really feeling because we're afraid to be wrong we're afraid that we're crazy we're afraid that you know we're gonna be overreacting or we're gonna be perceived as insane if we bring something up in a relationship and we don't want that person to walk away from us or we think that person's going to get upset at us or mad at us or defensive if we bring up something that we're feeling. And in my last relationship, this was a key pattern that kept coming up time and time

again. Whenever I would feel anxious, stressed, doubtful, worried about the relationship, I would be afraid to bring anything up because I would always be hit with the response, you about the relationship. I would be afraid to bring anything up because I would always be hit with the response, you're fucking crazy. You're actually out of your mind. You're getting your period. You always have anxiety.

You've had anxiety and depression since you're young. It's not my fault that what I'm doing is triggering you because I'm not doing anything wrong and you're just getting triggered from your past trauma. Those are the things I would hear on a regular basis when I would confront my ex with a feeling that I got. And lo and behold, after four years of thinking that I was crazy, thinking that my feelings were invalid

and that I needed to actually go to therapy because I thought I was bringing my past baggage into the relationship, the truth was revealed. And the truth was actually that he had been lying to me about his entire identity and had been cheating on me with many different women and who knows who else, maybe men too, I have no idea. And he had created this false persona and identity. And I plan on doing a full series about this at some point out of respect for myself and

out of a need to address it and help the hundreds and thousands of women listening to this podcast because I know it will help change people's lives and heal the world because I'm sure there's people who've experienced this concept of someone living a very deceitful life and just lying and cheating and betraying and before I had met this person I thought I had never been cheated on I didn't know what cheating felt like I didn't know what betrayal felt like and when the truth was revealed and the truth was exposed I crumbled but the whole point of this episode is to talk about the experience I had leading up to this because I was always getting physically sick I was

always getting physically ill I always felt like something was off in my body. I was getting chronic yeast infections, UTIs, headaches. I was constantly anxious. I always felt sick to my stomach. I was having sleep problems. I was having chest pains. It almost felt like I was having an actual heart attack and now I refer to it as a spiritual heart attack because it wasn't a heart attack but my heart was screaming in emotional pain and saying get out this person is not safe this person is dangerous and actually a threat to your well-being and your soul's well-being and I just thought it was physical health issues I thought I was going through some difficult health complications and I didn't know where they were coming from because it was kind of sporadic and spread out.

I didn't see any real correlation, if that makes sense. There would be two weeks where I would just have excruciating heart pain and then it would go away. And then a month later I would have a chronic yeast infection. Sorry TMI, but that's what happens when your body and your hormones are so out of balance and so out of whack. Your body just breaks down and shuts down when you're with a toxic person because that energy is literally being infused into your body. Like their energy and their presence is actually being infused into your body, into your DNA, into your cells. And it might sound a little far-fetched, but it's really not.

I made a video about this on TikTok and it went super viral because I was talking about how I kept getting UTIs from the same person over and over again. There were so many women that came forward and messaged me after and commented on this video saying, I went through the same thing. My hair was falling out. I was always sick. I was always anxious. I had crazy cysts on my ovaries that would rupture, which I've also had. Dealing with PCOS my whole life, it's polycystic ovarian syndrome. For those of you who are unfamiliar with that is, it's a hormonal imbalance disorder where cysts form on your ovaries and they can rupture and it

also causes symptoms like infertility, weight gain, acne, hair loss, and so many other things that come with this imbalance. And I was having every single symptom flare up again when I was with this person, where cysts would literally rupture in my sleep in the middle of the night, and there was an actual point where I had to call an ambulance because I couldn't walk, and the pain was so unbearable that I thought I was literally gonna pass out and die. And the funny thing is that person, my ex, he was with me when I called the hospital

and he was with me to witness all these health complications and he was the one taking care of me. But the craziest part of all and the most ironic part of it all is that he was the cause of the health problems. So I have this man who's taking care of me and showing me how much he loves me by staying by my side when I'm ill but at the same time he was

leading this whole double life and living this whole separate identity that I had no idea about and he was actually the reason my body was freaking out. So on today's episode, I just thought it was really important to tell these stories and tell you guys what I went through because I've seen this key pattern in the messages I get from you. And time and time again,

whenever I bring up this concept of your health deteriorating from a toxic person, I get so many responses. So it's obviously a very common situation. I saw one woman comment on a video of mine about this and she said she literally was diagnosed with endometriosis, which is a very severe, serious issue with your uterus and your ovaries and fertility and it's similar to PCOS but I think it's like times 10. I've never suffered with endometriosis so I'm not gonna speak on the details of it because I don't know too much about

it but I do know that it's very painful and it comes with a lot of complications with fertility and your uterus and your reproductive health and I've heard of many women being hospitalized for it. She said she was diagnosed with it when she started dating someone and she was in a very long relationship with them and miraculously when that relationship came to an end her endometriosis vanished and her body was cured and her uterus was fine and she had no more pain and she has just no more complications. Her health issues disappeared. It's crazy how the body can manifest physical illness and really intense physical symptoms when you are around the wrong person because it's literally energetic poison.

It is energetic poison for your body and for your cells and being here in Bali, learning how to heal myself the right way, eating fresh foods, not talking to anyone, focusing solely on me and my own energy, really grounding myself, not dating, no dating apps, no entertaining anyone that isn't worth my time, just surrounding myself with good people, good vibes, and really immersing myself in my own energy, I feel absolutely incredible, health-wise. I've had no health issues since I've been here,

and I truly believe through the power of harnessing my own energy and healing and taking good care of my body, my mind body soul, which I talk about in my course, the mind body soul reset as well, by doing all these things and feeling so vibrant and healthy, I realized that a lot of my health issues came from my exes, like my toxic relationships. Whenever I would get into a new relationship or a situation ship or even when I was talking to someone, honestly it's not even about it being a romantic thing or not. Sometimes it's just people in general. I'm very psychic through my body and my gut and being here in Bali has actually taught me way more about being psychic and my psychic abilities and my psychic nature and

I've really been tapping into it so much where I literally can feel when something's about to happen when some shit's about to go down I feel it in my gut specifically so it's manifesting really as a rush of excitement or I'll literally get stomach cramps and a stomachache and rush of excitement or I'll literally get stomach cramps and a stomach ache and if I get a stomach ache it's obviously not a good sign to make a decision or to do something or I'll just know that something weird is about to happen. If I feel really good and I feel like a rush or surge of energy and a fire in a positive way then I know I'm on the right track and it's really interesting to just really tune into myself here because the energy of the island is just so strong and so powerful. And I feel like I'm able to think

and process everything really clearly. When I've been here, there's been several occasions where someone has approached me or a guy has sat down next to me, or I'm just talking to someone and I'll either feel really excited and uplifted and I'll have like a surge of energy go through my body or I will get a massive pain in my stomach.

And it's happened quite a few times. There was a man that I saw in a cafe while I was eating breakfast the other day and he kept staring at me and my stomach started to literally form like knots. Like I just felt this pain in my gut. I was like, oh no, he's gonna come and talk to me. This is not good. And lo and behold, like 30 seconds later, he makes a beeline over to

me, sits down next to me, and starts asking me a bunch of questions about my life and where I'm from and whatever. And the whole time I started getting this sick feeling and I was literally nauseous. And being here has taught me the power of how other people's energy can really affect you and make or break if someone's right for you. And just being here has taught me that when you really listen to your body and you really tune into it and how you feel around someone physically, you'll know if they're right for you. You'll know if they're healthy for you. If you feel excited and uplifted around someone and inspired and you feel more energetic around someone, that's a really positive sign.

And that's a sign that you would want that person in your life, because obviously if they're making you feel good and uplifted and excited and energized, it's healthy for your body, but you'll really notice once you start to tap into this energy and you start to really listen to yourself and listen to your intuition and your gut instincts, you'll notice when you feel like shit around someone instantly, or you'll feel the energy's just off, or you'll get a wave of anxiety, or something will happen where you just physically at your core know that that person is not aligned with your soul and it's just not your person. I don't ever want to speak badly about anyone, but there was a girl that actually approached

me here where her energy was just so overbearing and by the time I left the conversation like 30 minutes later I felt so drained I just felt so dead and drained and I felt like she had sucked all of my energy dry and I was so tired that I literally had to go home and take a nap in the middle of the day because I was exhausted from communicating with her. And there's nothing wrong with that, okay? Not everyone is meant to be in your life. Not everyone will have the same effect on you. It's okay to not resonate or to not energetically match with certain people.

It does not mean anything bad about this person. It does not mean that person's a bad person. It does not mean that person was deliberately trying to drain me. It's just some people are not energetically matched with you and they're not on your frequency so you're not going to be able to be around them for that long because it's going to drain you and your power. Especially if you're vibrating at a very high level and you're very magnetic as a person and then you're around people who

are super negative, who are super pessimistic, who complain a lot. Everything is energy. The power of your thoughts and what you speak into existence is energy. So if you're around someone who's constantly negative and saying pessimistic things, it has the potential to really bring you down and drag you down and make you feel drained.

So that's kind of what happened the other day and it was just another observation, you know, where you realize that there are certain people that are meant to be in your life and in your energy field and then there are certain people where you have to keep your distance and keep a healthy boundary in place because you don't want to leave a conversation feeling drained and then have to go home and take a nap for three hours. I was wiped. I was like that is never gonna happen again and I can't hang out with that person because my batteries are dry and you'll notice this will happen with people in your life. Once again it does

not mean they're a bad person and it doesn't mean you have to completely cut them off and be rude or anything like that but you just have to kind of notice it and observe it and accept it and say you know what I have to create a boundary for myself. I want to read you an excerpt from this book called Heal Your Body by Louise Hay. And this book is really amazing. It's a really short, simple read. And it's a part of my masterclass, The Mind, Body, Soul Reset.

I recommend this book because as I said, energy is everything. Where you direct your thoughts is everything. Who you're around is everything because everything is made up of energy. So if you are around shitty toxic people who don't see your value, it can literally make you physically sick because they're dragging down your energy and dragging down your vibration

and it manifests physically. And this book talks about how the power of your thoughts can make you really healthy or really sick. So I'm gonna read you a page from it because it's very fascinating. What a joy it was when I first discovered the words metaphysical causations. This describes the power in the words and thoughts

that create experiences. This new awareness brought me an understanding of the connection between thoughts and the different parts of the body and physical problems. I learned how I had unknowingly created disease in myself and this made a great difference in my life. Now I could stop blaming life and other people for what was wrong in my life and in my body I could now take full responsibility for my health without either reproaching myself or feeling guilty

I began to see how to avoid creating thought patterns of disease in the future This book is really interesting too because it lists out all of these different physical illnesses that can manifest in your body And then it links it to what the emotional cause is. So for example, it talks about female problems and health issues and reproductive issues. And it says reproductive issues are linked to denial of the self, rejecting femininity and rejection of the feminine principle, which is so fascinating to me because I've always been so in my masculine energy my whole life, okay? Capricorn problems, maybe some of you can relate.

I don't know if it's an astrology thing, but maybe it's the way you grew up, your environment. My identity, I have two older brothers that I grew up around. I'm the only girl in my family. I don't have any sisters. I always felt called to build my own business, be an entrepreneur. I'm such a go-getter and I'm very driven and I'm very hungry for success, but at the expense of what? Kind of like being

always in my masculine, right? Like I feel like I've always felt the need to take care of myself, to financially provide for myself, and go after life without any help or any guidance. It was always just me, me, me. I need to be independent. I need to work hard. No man, me, me. I need to be independent. I need to work hard. No man can fulfill my destiny. I have to do it, I have to do it. It's like that type of mentality

that puts you in your masculine and makes your hormones kind of out of whack. And maybe that's also linked to my own hormonal imbalances because I grew up with polycystic ovarian syndrome and I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 14 years old and I hadn't gotten my period. I got my period super late. I think I was 14 or 15 when I got my first period and it lasted three weeks long and sorry to the men listening to this podcast right now you're probably like I don't know why I'm listening still but but honestly, it's very important information if you are a woman

who has experienced health issues, gynecologically, and you have had hormonal imbalances, it's just important for women to hear this, I do believe that it can help people. So I'm gonna speak on it and be honest with you and tell you my experience. I do believe that because I've always been in my masculine energy and have convinced myself

that I have to do everything on my own and you know my cortisol levels are always so high and I'm always in stress mode and always in fight or flight mode trying to figure out the best business I can build, how to make a certain amount of money, how to be successful, how to be you know on top of the world and it kind of sets your body at a whack and it could cause physical issues. And on top of that, if you're dating someone, a man who is extremely toxic for you and doesn't love you the right way and isn't appreciating you and isn't valuing you and is dragging your fucking power down, you're going to manifest illness physically in the body just from all of this chaos happening. For me, I just

had so many health issues, especially when I was younger and in high school, going into college, tied to my gynecological health. As I've gotten older, as I've learned how to heal, as I've learned how to create better boundaries, as I've learned how to energetically remove myself from people and situations that don't feel aligned with me, and also as I've learned here,

especially how to embrace my feminine energy and become more feminine and sit back and relax more and not always have to be on the move, on the go, and stressing and burning myself out all the time, I can confidently say I feel the best I've ever felt. I feel energized, I feel more inspired, I feel more clear-minded, I feel more relaxed in my body, more grounded,

and I feel like finally, for the first time in my life, I feel like I have a sustainable life force going through me. Like a sustainable amount of energy where I'm not crashing and burning all the time. When I was back in New York in the hustle and bustle and the grind and in my masculine, I would always have to go home and nap. I would always have to go home and take like three or four hour naps in the middle of the fucking day because I was so

Burned out from the energy around me and from moving so much and pushing myself to my limits Whereas here Bali is a very feminine island. There's a very feminine energy here It's called mama Bali for a reason and being here has put me in this energy of ease and I'm not busting my ass around a city surrounded by chaos and noise and pollution. It's just so different. A lot of people who live in Bali will say Chengu is very chaotic and noisy but when you come from Manhattan this is a dream. This is the most peaceful place for me coming from New York City.

So I don't care what anyone else says. It's all about perspective. But for me, being here has changed my energy, has changed my internal state. I just feel more vibrant. I feel healthy. I feel stronger. And it's funny because as I've gotten older,

I felt healthier. As I've gotten older, I actually feel better than I did when I was 25 and dating a dusty Weirdo that was draining my power and not appreciating me the wrong person will drain your energy So much and make you feel sick all the time I've heard it from literally everyone I speak to who has been in a toxic relationship They were like literally my hair was falling out or I was losing so much weight and I looked sick I looked gray. I talk about this also in my Mind Body Soul Reset Masterclass. This aura that you have when you're

with the wrong person and they're sucking your power, you have this gray dark cloud over your head. It feels like a gray depressing energy. And if you look at photos of me from March of this year, when I was dealing with all the bullshit of my narcissistic relationship that drained me, my face looks sickly. I look gray in those photos and then you look at pictures of me now and even on video you could see it. I'm radiating this golden light. Like it just looks like I'm more vibrant just from my energy field. You can literally see when someone has a glow up.

It is called a glow up for a fucking reason and I didn't really understand the concept of a glow up until this year because the difference is so drastic and I've posted photos on my Instagram at date yourself instead you could go literally look at these before and afters. I went from a gray aura to a gold aura and I teach you guys how to do this in my masterclass. This is why I created the mind body soul reset masterclass because it's all about how to go from that gray aura to gold. And I also have my other course, Dare to Detach, which talks about detachment and letting go of toxic people

and being able to cut energetic cords so you could level up, step into your power and combined with the mind body soul reset, these two are the elite combination. They're such a power duo because you're not only learning how to detach from the people you need to let go of, but then you're stepping into your glow up era. You're stepping into the best version of yourself and you're going to radiate a golden light

and people are going to flock towards you. People are literally going to become entranced by your beauty and your aura just from energy alone and just from feeling healthy and more vibrant. I've seen it here. I don't do anything I don't even bother talking to men right now. It's not saying I'm closed off by any means to dating I'm just so at peace that I'm not putting in any active effort to talk to anyone while I've been here But people just come up to me like people I don't have to do anything I don't have to put in the effort because when you become So grounded in your own energy people want to be around you, right?

So it's like when I'm out and I'm sitting at a table There's a high probability that someone's just gonna come and say hello to me versus me having to actively push myself to socialize And meet people it's all about becoming a magnet by harnessing your own power and energy and I talk about all this in my master classes all about becoming a magnet by harnessing your own power and energy. And I talk about all of this in my master classes, but also I love just giving as much content and advice as I can for free because it's important. I want everyone to have their glow up. I want everyone to be their best self.

I want everyone to succeed and win. It makes me happy to see other people thrive. And if this episode can inspire you to step into your glow up era, then I've done my job and it makes me very happy to see it when you guys send me your results your progress before and afters of your glow ups and how you were during the breakup and now and just seeing you guys heal is my favorite thing. So now I'm going to give you a story time of what happened with my ex because as 2025 is approaching I promise myself

I would always speak my truth and gonna try to keep everything as light and respectful as possible because it's not in my character to go savage mode and expose people, but I will tell the truth and I will tell my stories. And this man was absolutely unhinged, but there was a time where I on multiple occasions would have

anxiety attacks in the middle of the night because I had dreams that he was cheating on me and if that's not a red flag I mean come on obviously but when you are so hypersensitive to energy and absorbing content and absorbing people's stories and you know people would message me telling me their stories about cheating I convinced myself that it was a subconscious thing where I just absorbed other people's energy and it wasn't about me and then like looking back I'm like oh my god like how silly. It was clearly the biggest red flag

but I would have these dreams and visions and I would be up all night sweating. I woke up at three in the morning once and I remember he told me he had went to this religious thing for a holiday and he was gonna stay somewhere overnight in a hotel. And I'm like, why would you stay in a hotel when I'm here and I live in Manhattan and you could just come back to my apartment and sleep in my apartment with me? Why would you sleep in a hotel? And he's like, oh, we can't use our phones. And it's just better for me to have no distractions. And I just want to be alone. And I mean, really, like, I just something wasn't adding up. I'm like, why wouldn't

you include me in your holiday? Like, why wouldn't you make me a part of your religious holiday? If you think I'm your wife, if you literally think I'm the mother of your children, which you've told me many, many times, why wouldn't you let me embrace your religion and your culture and traditions if you thought I was the love of your life and your wife, right? But I think when you're just so deep into shit and you're so deep into a situation where you've been so intensely manipulated, your blinders are so on that you cannot see these things in real time. And I'm telling you this from experience, I know I'm intelligent. I know I'm not an idiot.

And there's a lot of very successful, driven, incredible, good-hearted, intelligent women out there that are being extremely manipulated and they just don't know it because these men are so good at manipulating to the point where you just, you can't think straight you can't see clearly and when you're isolated all the time and you don't have people objectively giving you feedback because I really was isolated a lot of the time with this person it's just a

recipe for disaster because you cannot see the truth clearly and now of course everything has been brought to light and I see everything so fucking clearly but at the time I was like oh okay that's fine go and the whole night I was like, oh, okay, that's fine, go. And the whole night I was sick to my stomach, like violently sick where I could not sleep. I was sweating, I was having night terrors. I was hearing a voice in my ear being like, wake up, wake up. And it was the scariest night of my life.

I'll never forget it. I was pacing around my apartment, having an anxiety attack, texting him and the texts were green. It was like his phone was off and I couldn't get a hold of him I was texting him like I'm really not feeling okay please answer me I need you to answer the phone now looking back I'm like that man was not where he said he was I don't care what he says I don't care he could swear on his fucking grave that man was not where

he said he was I still to this day have no idea what he was doing. I have no idea where he was, who he was with, but I know that he was not being honest with me. Thinking about those moments and then seeing where I'm at now, I just wish I could hug my old self and be like, this all happened so you could teach other people not to fall into this pattern and to trust themselves when they feel anxious, when they feel sick to their stomach, when they know something's wrong but they can't logically see it or justify it. It's my duty to make sure that you trust yourself. It's my mission now to make sure that all the women out there that have experienced things like this, that you trust your gut and your judgment.

You are very intelligent. You have superpowers. Women are very powerful. Women are very fucking powerful. Obviously at the end of the day, you can do what you want. You can make your own decisions, but just trust yourself more because I didn't and I could kick myself looking back. I'm like, oh my God, like I knew,

I knew in these moments that something was so severely off and I physically felt so ill, yet I continued to stick it out and stay. And I allowed this man to convince me out of my feelings and out of what I felt. Like he came back to my apartment the next night and I was bawling my eyes out, like literally sobbing in his arms being like,

I felt like you were lying to me. Where were you? What were you doing? And he was just like, you're crazy. Like you're literally nuts. What's wrong with you? Why are you freaking out? I told you this religious thing is super important to me.

I needed to turn my phone off. XYZ, he had every excuse in the book and convinced me out of my feelings and looking back I'm like how abusive like how mentally abusive was that that is the craziest thing to me that I was up all night shaking for a reason because you're probably cheating on me somewhere with someone and here I am in my apartment feeling like an idiot feeling like I'm in the wrong suddenly suddenly I'm crazy, and I'm an idiot for accusing you of something and now it's gonna start a fight gaslighting 101 Obviously now I see everything now. I know what the red flags are now

I can go back and review everything I've been through and relay the messages So no one has to deal with what I dealt with my mission is to make sure that you do not have to deal with this Bullshit the way what I dealt with. My mission is to make sure that you do not have to deal with this bullshit the way that I dealt with it. That was just one example. Then I remembered there was another time where I was just having a really bad day and crying and crying. And he printed out a sign and taped it on his wall saying,

relax, you're just getting your period. So when I woke up in the morning, I woke up to a sign taped on his wall that said, relax, you're getting your period once again gaslighting convincing me out of my emotions convincing me out of my anxiety now that I've taken the proper amount of time to heal to separate myself from dating to work on myself to really date myself like I'm really really dating myself at this point I'm a stable person I am a stable human being I'm not emotional I'm very grounded I'm very confident person. I am a stable human being. I'm not emotional. I'm very grounded

I'm very confident in who I am. I'm very aligned with my purpose. I'm super happy I realized that this person was the reason I was fucking crazy He was the reason I was crazy and a few other people when I've taken the time to heal and be on my own I've realized that the right people are gonna make you feel like this at peace, grounded. They're not gonna throw your emotions all over the place, they're not gonna gaslight you, they're not even going to trigger you because they're right for your nervous system. And this guy was the worst. I just remember so many instances looking back where I felt so on edge and so anxious and he would just be like,'s just the hormones it's just

you know you're a woman and women are crazy I have sisters so I know I just know how it is and you're crazy and I'm like actually I'm the total opposite of crazy like I genuinely know that this is who I am grounded smiling glowing at peace and you've set me at a balance because you have made me think that I'm crazy. And I think this is such a common universal experience in toxic relationships and toxic cycles. And my mission once again is to make sure

that you see the truth. You see the truth about yourself. You are a divine goddess. You deserve a healthy relationship. You deserve someone who doesn't trigger your fight or flight that doesn't stress you out and make you cry every day. No relationship is perfect. No person is perfect. I'm not perfect. I'm not saying I am. I've definitely made mistakes and I've definitely done stupid shit before to people and I've definitely acted out of character

sometimes, whatever it may be, but I do know one thing's for sure. Through all of this, the right person long-term for you will not trigger you on a daily basis. They're not going to trigger you on a daily basis. They're not gonna make you feel crazy. They're going to talk your problems out together. They're gonna make you feel safe. They're gonna make you feel secure and comfortable. And I know this because I had this with my friends. One of my good friends here who's on the podcast now and you guys are gonna see an episode. Her name is Isabel. She's you know a healer and she does this Kundalini activation work here in Bali and I just adore her and we get along really well. When I'm around her I don't

feel anything. I just feel neutral at peace. I feel like myself. I feel like I could say anything, be anything, talk to her about anything. The conversation just flows and you'll see it on our episodes. We just flow, just easy. It just feels normal, right? We're operating at the same frequency, talking and learning from each other and growing from each other. And it's a really solid balance dynamic, which is beautiful because I have that as a reference now. There's another guy, my ex from Australia, okay?

I've been on and off chatting with him, texting, sometimes we FaceTime for over 10 years now, maybe longer. And he does not trigger me even a little bit. This man does not trigger me even a little bit He could not answer me for two weeks. He could not answer me for a month and I'd be like wish you the best Love you. I hope you're doing well and same for him. I know it's the same way. It's just this even Dynamic where we're both rooting for each other. We're both happy for each other. It just flows. It's just easy It's just fucking easy. That is how it should be with everyone in your life. It should just flow.

It should just feel good in your body, in your soul. Mind, body, soul should feel nourished when you walk away from a conversation. You should feel at ease when you're around the right people. Not shaking, not triggered, not having heart pains. I know one of the biggest things for me that always would manifest is chronic heart pain. My heart chakra was literally so clogged and blocked because I was with this man who was living this double life

Running around the world probably sleeping with every person he came into contact with who knows and I'm just like Yeah, everything's fine. He's my soulmate. He's my husband. My body was like babe What are you doing? I'm screaming at you. Your heart is literally screaming to get out. So with that being said, I just want you guys to monitor how you feel around people. How do you feel around that person

you're coming into contact with? If you feel good, if you feel energized, that's a positive. If you are experiencing any of the symptoms that I have mentioned in this episode, anxiety, shaking, losing your hair, can't sleep, restless, distracted, sad, irritable, crying all the time, gynecological problems, you get it. Just monitor it because yes, you can create illness through other things. We get sick here and there, but monitor if you're with a toxic person and see what happens if you distance yourself from them,

if you start feeling better. The craziest thing actually happened, one more story time before I wrap this up, when my ex came to visit me after I hadn't seen him for a while, I was feeling good, I was feeling great. The second he landed in Manhattan and I came into contact with him,

I started getting chills, nauseous, fever, and I developed a chronic sinus infection to the point where I could not breathe out of my face. It was so swollen, so puffy, and I was so sick that I could not even lift my head off my pillow. And I remember this happened one of the last times he came to visit me. I felt totally fine, totally healthy and normal.

Once he stepped foot in my apartment, I started getting sick, and it was like the fourth time in a row I had gotten sick when I've seen him I literally said to him. I think I'm allergic to you and he started laughing. He's like, yeah, okay, whatever I'm like, no, no, no, like I think my body is rejecting you. I'm allergic to you because you're bad for me I cannot do this anymore. I knew the relationship was over at this point I was like I cannot do this anymore You are literally making me fucking sick all the time.

And it's not even worth it because I can't function like this. This is so fucked up. And he's like, oh, like you always blame your health issues on me. I'm like, yeah, because my health issues are from you. Like they are, it's very evident. Every time I come into contact with you,

I come down with something. And I remember one of the last times he came to visit me, I had a high fever. I was so ill. I times he came to visit me. I had a high fever. I was so ill I just was not okay at all and he asked me if I could sleep on the couch and he could take my bed I was like what he's like, yeah, I can't sleep. You know me It's really hard for me to sleep next to you sometimes and I need my space and I'm like I'm dying Like I'm literally dying right now. He's like you're always dying. I'm like no, no, no no you don't understand like I'm sick and you're kicking me out of my own bed

and making me sleep on my couch what the fuck is this and I was so upset and I ended up just going on the couch because I didn't want to argue I had I didn't have the energy to argue you know when you're just so sick that you don't have the energy to even put up any sort of fight I literally got up went on my couch tried to fall asleep I couldn't fall asleep he literally abandoned me like he did not care He just like passed out and didn't even acknowledge the fact that I was dying So that's when I really knew things were taking a turn for the worst

I mean there were so many other red flags But wow if I could go back and just do some things over I would and that's why I'm here today on this podcast on date yourself instead sharing my story sharing everything I've gone through because I don't want you guys to make the same mistakes. I did and I hope this is helpful I hope this is resourceful if you've been enjoying these episodes if this episode you think could relate to someone that you know Or it resonates with you feel free to share it with a friend and also Like and comment on Spotify and YouTube and Apple podcasts. It means the world to me It really does make a difference when you share the show,

share it on your stories. I see everything. I appreciate the love, appreciate the support. And most importantly, I just want you guys to be safe and healthy and have your glow up, have your mind, body, soul reset glow up. If you're interested, go check out my master classes, The Mind, Body, Soul Reset and Dare to Detach as well.

I love you. Thank you as always for listening to Date Yourself instead and stay tuned for next Monday.