Date Yourself Instead - If they're being inconsistent, watch this.

Episode Date: June 9, 2026

if they're inconsistent, where are you being inconsistent with yourself?manifest overnight masterclass: access here now.all masterclasses: https://stan.store/lyssbossmessage me on instagram if you loved this episode: @lyss @lyssbossthe truth is, most people spend years obsessing over who isn't choosing them instead of asking why they aren't choosing themselves.in this episode, I'm chatting about what I've learned from re-entering the dating world after years of healing, the mistakes I made, the boundaries I stopped breaking, and the surprising way one recent experience reignited a fire inside me that I thought had died forever.xxLYSScontact: [e-mail]

I just got off the longest flight in the world. It was 19 hours and I am ready to lay it on you guys. Okay? I'm going to drop a truth bomb on you right now. If someone isn't being consistent with you, where are you not being consistent with yourself? Let me repeat that. If someone is not being consistent with you, where are you not being consistent with yourself? If someone is not showing up for you the way you need them to show up, where are you not showing up

for yourself. If someone isn't being the person you need them to be for you, how are you not being the person that you need to be for yourself? A few months ago, I started really getting back in the dating game. And I'm going to give you guys the tea on my dating life right now because the last couple of years, ever since I left my last relationship, it was really hard for me to put myself back out there and really date with an open heart. I think when you date and your heart is closed off and you're always skeptical. You're always kind of like, I'm not really sure. And you have this huge checklist of everything you're looking for in a person because you're so guarded and you don't want to get hurt and you're afraid of getting hurt again. It can be really hard to

get back into dating. And it can be really hard to meet the right person. And after doing a lot of reflection on myself, I realized that the last two years for me were about really rebuilding myself from the inside out. And that's also part of the reason why I took such a long break from the podcast and kind of fell off the face of the earth and disappeared. I felt like I wasn't capable of showing up for myself and therefore I couldn't show up for anyone else. And I knew that I needed to take that time to really re-center my energy and focus on me and reclaim the power and the person and the list that I had lost from my last relationship. For those of you who are new to the podcast, welcome. I started this podcast and it was originally called Date Yourself Instead.

The reason I started Date Yourself instead in the first place is because I was in the midst of a very toxic relationship with someone who I really loved, but it just really threw me for a loop because it was a situation that was really difficult to get out of and it was really toxic and it really damaged myself a seam and my self-image and myself worth. In the midst of trying to escape that relationship, I used my voice and this platform as a means to break free and also remind myself of my own power. And although date yourself instead was such an incredible chapter that I'm really, really grateful for, the brand was really built from a place where I was at my lowest point. And I decided as of somewhat recently that I wanted to rebrand this entire podcast and rebuild my

brand and rebuild my voice and reclaim myself from a place of power. And that place of power is just being me. On today's episode, I felt really called to talk about what I have experienced, just learning how to show up for myself more than ever, and just learning how to really be consistent with myself and learning how to build self-trust from within. And recently, there's just been so many incredible things that are happening in my reality that have proved to me time and time again that the more you show up for yourself and the more you pour into yourself and fill your own cup, that's where the magic has. happens and that's when you get into alignment and amazing things will start to happen for you.

So starting at the beginning of this year, I wanted to collect new experiences and have stuff to talk about on the podcast moving forward. A lot of these experiences were just putting myself out there again and meeting new people and reconnecting with parts of myself that I had felt like I had lost. A big thing for me was relearning how to date. Starting this year, it was like I'm going to go back into the dating world and kind of like try to open my heart up a little bit and see what happens. But I need this time for me to do that and not feel like pressure to put out content if I'm not feeling inspired. I want to be able to open my heart up again, open my chakras again, feel aligned and maybe

potentially meet someone and fall in love again. I think I've always had a history of meeting people and falling in love pretty fast. but the past couple of years, it felt like the complete opposite. And I think in that experience, there was a bit of an identity crisis for me because I had no choice but to really take care of myself and look within and build my home from within and really, really think about what's important to me. All of that time was essentially, I think, preparation for me to actually meet someone who could be really significant or someone that I will end up forever.

with. I think a lot of my other relationships were based out of anxiety that I would be alone. So I would jump into relationship after relationship or jump into a situation. And I would look for these other people to really complete lists, like to complete me and to make me feel like my best self. And the last two years was a whole restructuring of that and dismantling of that identity. So it was tough. It was tough. And I think a lot of people have this idea now of like independence and freedom when you're single. But personally for me, date yourself instead and the podcast that I had built was my anchor. It was my way of coping with the fact that I had to really learn self-love.

And I had to really find that within myself. So throughout this dismantling process, I had to completely cord-cut every single person, thing, guy out of my life. that had ever made me feel small and like I wasn't good enough. And this is probably the biggest, most important piece of advice I can hand over in this episode and I'm just going to dish it out now. If you truly want to get to the next level of your life and truly want to attract the love of your life and do everything you said you're going to do and feel like the most productive, healthy, grounded, stable, regulated version of you, you cannot have

these people in your life and things in your life that are making you feel shitty. It's so much easier said than done when you're in it. You guys know I have my core stare to detach, which literally focuses on detaching from people that are no longer serving your future self or your highest self. But I think when you're an empathetic woman and you have so much to give and you have a big heart, sometimes when you're in the midst of experiencing a connection with someone, especially if it feels very faded or karmic or like past lifeish, it's so much harder to walk away,

especially when you don't have any other person to go towards. And the only person you have is yourself. But the biggest takeaway over the last six months that I've learned is that once you are brave enough to really, really commit to you and be consistent with your values, your goals, what's important to you, how you want to feel, how you want to be treated, how you want to show up in the world for yourself. If you're so consistent and grounded in your identity and who you are, not only are you going to fully understand what it means to love yourself and love every piece of you, but you are also going to meet the right person and attract amazing people into your field.

And something that might happen when you are sticking to your values and not wavering from that and you're sticking to who you are and you're not wavering from that person. your old world will crumble and fall to the ground. I've spoken about this before, but it's so important to emphasize this because oftentimes when we are upgrading, when we are transforming as a person, there is this tower moment when your whole life is going to get flipped upside down. And for a second, it might look very chaotic. It might look like you're going the wrong way. But usually it's just a sign that ever.

everything is clearing out to make space for your new life and the new person that you've always been destined to become. One of the biggest questions that really stuck with me as I went back into dating with this new mentality of like, I am not wavering from who I truly am and the right person is going to have to rise to meet me there. A lot of old things started coming up to the surface. A lot of old emotions and old feelings. And these feelings stemmed from my past.

I've done every healing thing I could possibly do. And these feelings were still coming up again. And I was like, I don't really know what's going on. But instead of running away from the situations, I'm going to take each dating situation head on. I'm going to live with an open heart and trust that whoever is meant to be, it's going to be regardless. It doesn't matter what you do, what you say, the timing of things, or anything else. if your destiny and your fate is supposed to be with someone, you're going to be with them. And I think for so long, I was always looking at dating as like this rules thing where I was like,

if they're not being consistent with you, walk away. If they're not doing this, walk away. But if they're not showing up for you the way that you need them to show up, there is a piece of you that is not showing up for yourself, period, because everyone in life is your direct mirror and is going to show you where you're currently operating at, in terms of your self-worth and your self-love. So that's really what I've taken from dating coming into this new season of my life

as a totally different person. I'm like, if someone is not treating me right, that doesn't necessarily mean attack their character or, you know, judge the situation and paint them out to be a terrible person. Where am I neglecting myself? If they're not showing up for me, there will be someone else that will.

And that's on them to not be able to meet me where I'm at. But that doesn't mean they're a bad person and it doesn't mean that it couldn't work out in the future. But when you're so clear on what you're looking for and who you are, it's one or two things. That person is either going to have to rise to meet you and meet you where you're at and work with you at and you know, you work together to build a solid foundation of a relationship or there will be someone else that is better suited for you, but either way you win. Either way you win and there's no reason to get bitter or sour over a situation or relationship if someone isn't treating you the way you deserve. I think in the early stages of dating now everyone is so quick

to just write people off if things aren't 100% smooth. And there's also a lot of dating gurus out there now, some men in particular who talk about like, oh, if you sleep with someone before the fourth or fifth date and you don't make them wait, like they're not going to be into you. I think that's all I think that if someone likes your character and who you are as a woman, if you sleep with them on the first date or the fifth date, I don't think it makes a difference long term. Maybe in the short term, it can like distort the timing of things a little bit and maybe move around the energy a little bit. But I truly believe in fate.

And if the connection is strong enough and solid enough, that is not going to fuck anything up. Okay. I've dated guys who I slept with on the first date. and we dated for seven months after that. And it was fine. And that didn't change the relationship at all whatsoever, okay? Because it was an energy thing.

The same thing applies to other guys I've dated. I waited it out intentionally to make sure that it was the right situation. And it still didn't work out. So the point is nothing is going to fuck up something that is faded and destined for you. That's another huge takeaway I learned over the last six months. It doesn't matter how you rearrange things, how you act, what rules you're placing on a relationship. If it's meant to be, you'll figure it out. If the timing is off, it's off.

If it's faded, you'll come back together. There is such thing as everything happens in divine timing. That's another huge theme that's played such a big role in my life this year over the last six months in particular. Everything is happening in perfect divine timing. The last two years were the hardest years for me mentally as far as, getting my life back together after a relationship. I felt like a lot of the time I had to force myself to stay motivated. And now I'm coming into a season where I feel like I'm getting back to myself again.

And I'm also opening myself up to new experiences in dating and really opening my heart up again and not being afraid to be vulnerable with people that I'm interacting with and not being afraid to be 100% authentically myself with, with no filter and I'm like, you know what? I know what I'm looking for now. I know who I am more than ever now. I will say, although it was really, really challenging to do all of this inner healing over the last couple of years,

everything really does happen in perfect divine timing because I don't think at any other point in time in my life, I would have been able to handle a healthy, stable dynamic with a partner. I think I would have dismissed it or ridden and off or pushed it away. and now because I feel so anchored in who I am and anchored in my truth and I know really what I deserve and also how to treat myself and how to really honor myself in situations, it's been way easier for me to know how to date properly and look for the healthy qualities in a partner and actually not be afraid of commitment. Because I think after you go through a relationship that's super traumatic and really hard to bounce back from because it like completely knocks. down your self-confidence. I think I had a fear of like really, really committing to anything or anyone after that.

It just rattled my brain in such a different way than I've ever experienced. And I don't know if you guys can relate to that. But like, I'm sure some of you can where you come out of something and you're like, I don't know how to trust anyone ever again. I don't know how to trust my intuition. I don't know what's even going on. Like, it's really, it's really such an intense experience. And I felt like the lover girl in me had, like, died.

Like, I felt like that excited, romantic, loving, sweet angel version of me just, like, was shot to the ground. And I became very icy and cold and not bitter, but I just felt like my heart wasn't on. If that makes sense, it wasn't, like, physical. on or working anymore the way that it used to when I was younger. It honestly sucked. I felt like shit when I would talk to anyone or try to connect with people. I just felt robotic. I felt like I wasn't able to feel much. And it was something I was explaining to my parents because they saw how much I was struggling. And I was like, I don't know if I'll ever get feelings back for anyone ever again.

Everyone I talk to, anyone I try to talk to, it feels numb. Like, I literally feel numb to love, and I don't think I'll ever be in love ever again. And it sounds a little dramatic, but I physically couldn't start the fire inside of me over the last six months in particular. It was really weird. It was a really weird thing. I'll probably talk about it in more detail on another episode. there was something that happened recently that lit that fire in me again. And I'll definitely eventually go into the details of that at some point.

But for now I'll just say that that fire in me was reignited. And I felt like I got a piece of me back that I hadn't had in years. So I'm just really grateful that that wasn't the end point. for me. I, yeah, I think it's just my testimony of saying that, you know, there still are really good people out there and there's still amazing people out there that will help you get back to yourself and feel more like yourself. And after a season of feeling like your heart is cold, there is hope for that to change. There is a point where that will change. I feel like I've experienced that over the last month or so. So it's just been really nice. And it's something that I

wanted to share with you guys because I don't know if any of you have experienced something like that where you feel like numb to love. But I want to send out the message that love still exist and it's always within you, but sometimes it takes outer experiences and external circumstances to re-ignite that feeling again. I always think back to my parents' friends who are in their 70s and they found love with each other after both losing their partners in their 50s. And they had like 20 years each separately. They didn't know each other of being on their own and just doing life on their own without their partners. And there was a point where my mom and my dad introduced them when they were in their 70s.

And they've been together for eight years now. And they're enjoying their 70s together deeply in love. My dad's friend had vocalized that there was like a light that turned back on inside of him. After years of that light being switched off, it's such a beautiful story because it also showed me that even though we go through seasons where we feel like that energy is dormanty. within us and we might feel hopeless about the way we feel about relationships and love and just ourselves in general. It takes one special person or one special moment in time to really turn that light back on. So I think that's just really sweet. I just always think of that. And then it happened to me in a different type of way where I felt like I got my creativity back and this fire back in me

where I was like, I need to become the best fucking version of me after going to. And I'm going to through so many different things where I felt like I kept getting knocked down, I have that passion in me back again, which is such a beautiful thing. Now, how does this really tie into being consistent with yourself? The greatest gift you can give anyone is taking care of yourself. That is the greatest, most powerful thing you can do for another is to pour into your cup and take care of your own well-being. And on today's episode, I really want to cover this idea of pouring,

into yourself so much that the right people and the right circumstances and the right situations will have no choice but to find you. You're not going to have to go endlessly searching for the right situations and people to fall into your lap because you're going to be so full of your own self-love. And I experienced something so incredible recently where I told myself, I am not tolerating anything or anyone that doesn't match the certain requirements that I set out for myself. Meaning I have to be treated well. I have to feel good around people. I have to feel happy. I have to feel joy. I'm not going to let anyone take my joy away from me ever again. I went into this year with a mission to really honor myself, take care of my well-being, and prioritize my needs

more than ever. What ended up happening was such a beautiful thing. I had spent so long for love for specific career milestones. And the second I shifted my inner world to simply just start really taking care of myself, things started moving. You can't give from an empty cup. You can't show up for people if you can't show up for yourself. And they can't show up for you if you can't show up for yourself. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have.

This isn't to write off being with anyone. Relationships are the foundation of life. Okay, we're human beings and we need connection and I truly believe that relationships are the most important thing in the world. Relationships with other people, okay? And falling in love is so important and it's so transformative and it's all part of humanity. It's all part of growing and learning as a person. I know for me I've learned the most through my relationship experiences. I've learned the most about myself through love and transformed the most through love and through the people I've met in my life.

but it always comes back to one thing that I forgot along the way over the last couple of years. Once I remembered it, I started manifesting so freaking fast. And I started pulling so many amazing people and things into my timeline so freaking fast. It was literally overnight. I took back full control of my life by taking care of myself. Now, what does this really mean? Taking care of myself. I had to block out the noise of pretty much everything and everyone to,

just do whatever the fuck I wanted for six months. When I started social media and I started my career, I was always pouring into creation. I was creating. I was not consuming. I was constantly creating and trying to better myself and improve myself on a daily basis. And I would always say to my friends,

I was such a powerful manifester even at a young age. The reason I was so powerful at manifesting is because I wasn't trying to manifest. I didn't even know what manifesting was when I was four years. 15, 16. But I was so good at getting my way with everything. And I was so good at pulling the experiences and people I wanted into my timeline like this. So fucking fast.

Why? Because I was always the main character in my mind and I was manifesting the best version of myself. I was pouring into myself constantly to the point where no matter what happened, I never wavered from creating, wanting to create something for myself, always thinking about my future goals always pouring into myself as a woman creation is our purpose right to create art to create magic to create miracles giving birth is the ultimate form of creation right so when you're not creating and you're consuming you're scrolling you're complaining you're draining your life force you are draining your precious energy and your life force the more you are leaking your energy towards other people

other things that are not serving you. The only things that you should be consuming are things that are fueling your growth and inspiring you to create and to activate that life force from within. The reason I was able to manifest the life that I have now, flying first class everywhere I go, making a passive income,

travel to over 50 countries, meeting the most amazing people throughout my life experiences, being in multiple relationships. I've manifested specific people that I wanted to date, even though I don't recommend doing that, because you can manifest a specific person.

They're not necessarily the right person for you, but I've done it, okay? I've been able to do so many of these things because I was always in alignment with myself. And when you're in alignment with yourself and you're always working on yourself and making yourself the main character, everything else is a byproduct

that will just come in and rush into your field without you really trying, without you having to force anything or do anything. And I talk a lot about this in my course manifest overnight. I created this masterclass specifically for you guys to learn how to manifest so fast by taking responsibility and ownership of your life and of your timeline and pouring back into you. If you're interested in this masterclass, the link is in the show notes as well as on my Instagram at List Boss.

You can download the masterclass from anywhere worldwide. It is the ultimate game changer in manifesting anything you've ever wanted and you get to keep the materials for life. It's yours to keep forever. Highly recommend you go grab that course if you're looking to upgrade and manifest everything you've ever wanted super fast. Back to what I was saying about manifesting so fast at a young age, the key is to be so in love with yourself and you get so deep into flow state of whatever you're trying to build or create that lights you up and brings you some form of joy.

And everything else will come to you naturally as a byproduct of you focusing on yourself. The hardest thing to do in the world when you want something, for example, if you want a relationship, okay, is to not want it. It's so hard because you're like, but then how do I manifest it? Like if I don't want it, like how am I supposed to manifest it? You think about it one time and then you go focus on yourself and go focus on what you can control and build. And I promise you that manifestation will happen way sooner than you think when you shift your

attention to what you can control about your current reality and build the whole. home from within. Build yourself as a human super magnet from within and trust that it will happen in its perfect divine timing no matter what. The issue that we face a lot of the time when we're manifesting is that we're trying so hard and we grip onto it energetically to the point where all we're really communicating energy wise is that we're in lack and we don't have it yet. If we're saying we want something, let's just say you're writing, I want this specific person on a piece of paper, you wouldn't be doing that if you had that person. That is actually blocking the manifestation, the more you are enhancing the manifestation. So a really big takeaway I learned over the last six

months is the more you concentrate your energy on what you can control from within and you love yourself and your state and your circumstances regardless of what's currently happening on the external reality. And you just trust that it is done and it is working in your favor and you can let go of it, like you can completely forget about what you're trying to manifest, it will come to you faster than you think. Another huge thing that I've taken away from the last six months of doing a lot of inner reflection is that building self-trust is all about committing and doing what you said you were going to do. That's how you really learn to love yourself and not only love yourself, but you trust yourself so much and you trust your internal compass to guide you in the right direction.

I had a period of time where I was really struggling with my direction and where I wanted to take my brand and my business and my entire life because I wasn't making any moves. I was just thinking about everything all the time and I got so in my head that it actually sent me in a direction that I shouldn't have gone in. Thinking about things, always talking about things is cool and it's great. But the only thing that's going to get you to where you need to be is pure action. That's it, period. like if you're not creating the content, if you're not acting on what you want, if you're not moving towards it with actual energy and momentum, you're going to stay in the same place you were two weeks ago, two months ago, two years ago. If you're not deliberately taking some sort of

action to get to the end post, to get to the goal post. And if it's so hard for you to take action around it, do you really want it as bad as you say you want it? You really have to get honest with yourself at these things because if you really want it, you will. You will move towards it. The universe will push you towards it. If you really want it, you should be able to move towards it and move towards it consistently. Something I've really learned more than ever is the more you do and the more action you take for yourself and commit to the things you said you were going to do, I promise you it builds the foundation for your success. It builds the foundation for you to live a really confident, inspiring life. It builds the foundation for you

to be confident, to show up for yourself every day, to wake up every day excited, to wake up, knowing that you have something to work towards and it gives you structure to your life and it will push you towards your destiny. A big learning lesson that I could take away from the last few months is stalling on things will kill yourself confidence more and more every single day you put it off and you stall. Every workout you skip. Every boundary you ignore. Okay. Every goal you postpone for yourself and every promise you break for yourself, that is going to drag your self-confidence down. And the only way to revise that is to start showing up for yourself and really doing everything you promise yourself you would. If you said you're going to do something,

you do it. That is how you keep momentum going in your life and how you manifest everything you want and how you get to an end goal. You can't manifest by doing nothing. And I think there's a huge misconception with this because people say, oh, like people have manifested millions of dollars, like people have won the lottery just from sitting and thinking about it on their couch. Yes, I don't doubt that that's true. And I have had students in my courses even tell me that they've manifested these amazing incredible experiences just from taking the course. But there has to be some sort of energetic movement or inspired action behind what you are

manifesting at all times. And I truly believe that manifesting is a mixture. It's not about doing really hard work that makes you unhappy, but it is about taking inspired action and moving towards something and moving and giving your energy towards what you want. So when you commit to what you say you're going to commit to, your subconscious starts trusting. You will become more confident and in return.

Good things will always happen to you from developing unwavering, unshakable confidence. Confidence is about doing the thing you said you were going to do, period. And sometimes action creates confidence. Recently, I liked a guy's picture that I thought was really attractive on Instagram. And then he DMed me and we went out. And it was an amazing date because I liked his picture first. That never would have happened if I hadn't taken the action out of confidence to like his picture. He never would have messaged me and we never would have went on a date.

So sometimes when you take action, the confidence will follow if it's meant to be and if it's right for you and if it's part of your path and if you're in alignment. And I think that's also really important to note because sometimes when we're too afraid to move or do anything, we can stall our dreams. We can stall on the things that are meant for us or that are destined for us because of fear. But once you eliminate that fear and you just do something, move, do anything to push the needle like just a little bit, really great things can come from that. And if something doesn't stick, you move on to the next thing.

If nothing happens from something that you do initially, move on to the next thing. Just try something different to get the ball rolling with your life. The next thing I really learned recently is that we often demand other people to give us what we feel like we can't give to ourselves. For example, if we're looking for commitment from someone, we're not really committed to being the best version of ourselves. if we're looking for constant commitment and validation and reassurance from someone else. I really do believe that there is a lack of self-love if you are constantly chasing down someone to commit to you, right?

So as I said at the beginning of this episode, if someone isn't giving you the things that you're asking for, where in those areas of life are you not giving those things to yourself? If someone isn't respecting you, where are you not respecting yourself? For example, if you are tolerating someone treating you like garbage, you're actually communicating to yourself that that's okay and that you're willing to settle for garbage. So you have to course correct yourself and your values and your standards in order to attract better quality people into your life. When you have self-respect, there's no way you will allow someone to treat you like garbage.

That person will be obliterated from the timeline and you will meet someone that is capable of respecting you if you truly know how to respect yourself. There's no world and there's no way if you have the utmost respect for yourself that you would stay around someone that constantly disrespects you. Those two cannot go hand in hand. So that's something I really learned too, especially recently, dating again. There was a guy that I went on a couple of dates with in London and he was flat out lying to me about literally every part of his life. Like I could read and smell the bullshit. It was actually insane how much he was lying to me about the smallest things to the point where I realized he just had like a pathological lying problem. And I kept saying to my friends,

I think he's being really dishonest. He's being really dishonest about stupid things, not even things that would be a big deal, but he's just making stories up for no reason. And then I had to look within and my friends were like, so why are you still texting him back? Period. Like, why? Why? I was I still texting him back because there was a piece of me that wavered in my non-negotiables. Honesty, right? I think because I saw the lies as something that were white lies, like they were small and they weren't harmful to me specifically, but they were just weird. I was wavering for my non-negotiables because obviously I pride myself on being honest and

I expect my partner to be honest with me. But I had to look within and be like, hmm, I'm not being honest with myself. This is not okay. I'm literally abandoning my values of honesty. Even a text back is actually communicating a signal to the universe that I'm not fully prepared for the right person. Because if I'm willing to answer this person, that means I'm not being honest with myself and my boundaries and my time.

So obviously that had to come to an end. But it was really interesting because I started learning how to reflect instead of throw everything on to the other person and blame them for why they were doing things the way they were doing things. And that was when I realized I had grown up so much and I was able to remove myself very politely and calmly from the situation with no bad blood. I realized that all of that, all of this is just information. It's just data of what you want, what you don't want, what feels good, what doesn't feel good, what you will tolerate, what you won't. It's all just data being registered. And if something isn't aligned with you, you can remove yourself and walk you.

away and choose a different timeline and choose a different reality in which you meet someone that's not going to lie to you and it was the first time in my life where I had no feelings towards it whatsoever I was completely neutral I was like I wish you the best but I just do not wish to participate in this specific timeline with this specific person anymore and that showed me how much I'd grown because in the past I might have really thought back or tried to make it work or tried to see the good in that person, but there's no need for that. There's no need for that when you know yourself so deeply,

you'll be able to walk away so cleanly from any situation and trust in the higher plan for you and know that there's a better situation that's going to come into your life eventually because you are willing to stay true to who you were. And that's on really being consistent with your values and what you stand for. It is the most important thing you'll ever do for yourself is to monitor where you're being consistent with yourself in your life and where you're not being consistent. These questions will literally change your life, your relationships, your external world, and how you approach love, dating, your job, anything, because you learn how to take responsibility and ownership for who you are and then choose a better timeline if the current

one isn't serving you or the current relationship isn't serving you or the current career path isn't serving you. You start knowing how to show up for yourself so differently when you realize that you have the power to change something that you don't like about your life or something that you don't like about your current situation. It is so much easier to put the blame on someone else or evaluate external circumstances rather than looking within and saying, where can I change myself to feel good about who I am so I can attract better quality people into my life? Instead of focusing on who isn't showing up for you, who isn't committing to you, who isn't going to be there for you, focus on how you could be there more for yourself. And,

everything else will rearrange in your favor accordingly. When you hold yourself to really, really high standards where you know that you need to be valued treated a certain way and respected a certain way, and you stay consistent with those values. The key is consistency. It can't just be for a day or two. You have to lock these values in as your identity and who you are and you become these values and you become the greatest version of you. When you're manifesting your highest self, the universe has no choice but to rearrange to send you someone who could fulfill the requirements that you're looking for. The universe has no choice but to send you your perfect match, someone who is going to honor you, respect you, and meet you where you're at in your life.

You can't get upset when someone is sending you mixed signals or throwing you around when you are sending a signal out to the universe that you're confused about who you are. You're not sure about who you are because one day you're never going to tolerate bullshit again and then the next day you're entertaining that person again or you're saying that you want to break free from your job but then you sign another three-year contract with that job and you chain yourself down again. The universe can't feed you what you want if you're constantly sending out mixed signals. So now it's time to ask yourself, are you being consistent with your goals? Are you being consistent with your self-love?

Are you being consistent with your health, with your routine, with your standards, with the boundaries you've set in place? Are you being consistent with the future version of you? And are you doing everything you said you were going to do? Make your life and your reality right now the most important project you will ever work on and watch how your life transforms around you. When you are so immersed in your creativity and your fire and your inner self, watch how the world rearranges and shifts in your favor. Guaranteed. You have to get yourself to a place where you stop asking, who is choosing me, who wants me, who's going to validate me, what's going to validate me, and start asking, how am I choosing

myself? Am I choosing myself? Am I showing up every day the way I should be showing up and committing to myself and being consistent with myself? And with that being said, that concludes today's episode of list. Thank you guys, as always for listening to the podcast. It means the world to me. If you enjoy this episode, be sure to drop a comment on Spotify. Download the masterclass manifest overnight. The link is in the show notes as well as on my Instagram at List Boss. I love you guys so much. Thank you for all the support and stay tuned for future episodes.