Date Yourself Instead - Let them walk. If you know you deserve better, you do.

Episode Date: October 4, 2025

In this episode, I talk about the power of just letting people walk if they choose to leave your life. Instead of chasing, begging, or trying to prove your worth to anyone, it’s about standing strong in who you are. I share my own experiences and lessons, and I remind you that healing, glowing up, and stepping into your best self is the real flex. We dive into self-worth, growth after heartbreak, keeping your heart open, and protecting your energy from negativity or toxic people. This is about reclaiming your power, learning to love yourself harder than ever, and preparing for the love and life you truly deserve.Timestamps00:00 Let Them Walk: Embracing Self-Worth00:48 The Right People Will Stay01:26 Stop Chasing, Start Healing01:58 Transformation and Growth03:25 The Power of Self-Love03:44 A Journey of Authentic Connections05:28 The Glow Up: Embracing Change07:55 Reclaiming Your Power26:22 Living Freely with Love

They chose to walk away from you. Let them walk. They chose to not want to commit to you and they chose to not want to be with you anymore. Let them walk. Why? Are you chasing down someone energetically that doesn't want you in their life anymore?

They are making that decision and that choice to step away from your divine presence and your divine being. You are so fucking special. You are so different from the rest. They're not going to just walk away to find someone better. They're walking away.

because they don't see what they have in front of them. They're blinded to the fact that you are the best thing that has ever happened to them. And it's up for them to figure that out. But stop begging, stop chasing, stop running after someone who is literally choosing to walk away from you. Let them walk. The right people are always going to stay. You're not going to be able to escape the right people. The right people are always going to walk with you and want to stand beside you and be your rock.

be your rock. The right people are always going to show up. Even in the worst times, even when you've hit rock bottom, even when you're going through what you feel like is the worst period of your life, the right people will never leave because they are divinely placed in your life for a reason. If someone walks out of your life, if someone is actively choosing to leave your magnetic presence and your beautiful angelic self, it's their loss. But let them walk. Let them make that choice, stop chasing. Stop forcing someone to see your worth and your value. Stop sending those long-ass text messages that you're sending hoping that they're going to change their mind. Stop talking to all your friends about it, venting and begging and crying over someone who is not worth a single

fucking tear. You deserve so much better and you know that. Your soul knows that and your soul and your higher self is never going to allow you to settle for bullshit. Your higher self is never going to allow you to be with someone who isn't going to match your vibrational level. The reason it's not working out with this person is because you're ascending. You're growing. You're evolving and changing and up-leveling. This is the next chapter of your life. If you're currently going through a season where you're going through a really hard time

and a breakup and a loss or separation, you have to look at it as a period of transformation and growth because you're catapulting to the next level of your life. This is a good thing. This is a breakthrough. You're about to see so much abundance and miracles and blessings is happening in your favor once you accept and surrender what's happening. Once you surrender to what's happening, you will realize that it was for the best, that God

was protecting you, that the universe wants to see you thrive and successful, that everything is going to work in your favor and everything is going to make sense eventually after the fact. It usually doesn't feel like it makes sense in the moment because you're in pain, you're emotional, you're going through the worst of it, and I get it because I've been there. I understand what it's like to go through one of the most traumatic breakup of your life and feel like it's never going to get better, feel like you're never going to find anyone else, feel like you're literally at your lowest rock bottom point where you don't want to get out of bed, you don't want to see anyone, you don't want to do anything, you have zero

drive, I get it, I've been there and it's okay. Sometimes we need a wake up call, we need that moment, we need that never again moment where we literally snap and we're like, I will never allow this to happen to me again. I'm done. I'm done repeating these cycles. I'm done repeating these toxic patterns. I deserve better. I deserve more to life. I deserve an amazing partner who treats me so fucking well that loves me just as much, if not more than I love myself. You deserve someone that is going to lift you up. You deserve someone that is going to inspire you, that is going to make you laugh, that's going to make you smile, that's going to make you happy, that's going to put you more in your power. I was talking about this with my friend last

night. We were doing a full moon ceremony. It was so beautiful here in Bali and just being on the beach thriving in that powerful energy of manifesting and setting intentions and this topic came up of this idea of being with a partner that's fully allowing you to thrive in your power. You deserve someone that allows you to sparkle and shine

and never takes away from that. They're only going to enhance it. They're only going to make it better. They're only going to make you better. Is the person that you're crying over someone that made you better? Is the person that's dragging you down and breaking your heart

and leaving you out in the fucking dust, making you a better human being? Or are they making you feel like shit? Be honest with your soul. Be honest with your higher self. Talk to her. Talk to your higher self. What would she tell you? What advice would she give you? You could hear it from me or you could hear it from yourself because you know the answer. You have the answer within. You know if that person was actually genuinely the right person for you or if they were super toxic and breaking your heart over and over again and weighing you down and making you feel bad about yourself. It's such a common cycle and pattern I see with so many of you that email me, that message me, and it's this constant repetitive message

of, I know I deserve better, but I can't walk away. I know I deserve better than this, but I can't seem to leave. You know the answer. I don't have to give you the answer. You know the answer. If you think you deserve better, you do. If you think you deserve more out of life, you do. Let them walk so you can find that better. So you could find that person, that soulmate, that love of your life. Create space for something. new. Create space for something more abundant. That's going to let you thrive in your power. That's going to make you happy. That's going to genuinely enhance your fucking life. I say this on literally every episode, but it's the most important principle that I think about whenever I wake up,

how life is so precious. Life is so valuable and precious. Your life is so valuable. It matters. Every minute matters. Time is precious. You can't get back time. So if you're wasting your fucking time on a man that isn't giving you the love you deserve and that isn't treating you right and that is literally choosing to abandon you, abandon you in your worst fucking mental state, you have to let them walk because that's not the right person. The right person is going to stand by you in every storm. Yes, relationships have hard times. Relationships are never perfect. They're never 100% easy all of the time. You have to work through things. But if someone is repetitively hurting you time and time again and weighing you down, you have to let them walk

away. Look at it as God removed them. They didn't walk away. They didn't abandon you. God removed them. When you look at it from that perspective and that angle, it actually provides a sense of comfort because you know that it's for your higher good. You know that it's for your benefit, that this person was plucked out of your timeline and your simulation and literally chucked to the side because God knows that there's a better person waiting for you that's going to give you everything you've ever wanted and everything you truly deserve. And yes, there might be a season of isolation. There might be a season of the breakup where you're feeling lonely and you're feeling discouraged and like you never want to look at a man again or you never want to look at a person

again. But it's going to be worth it. It's going to be worth it. I can promise you that it will be worth it if you actually reflect and you heal and you do the inner work to close the cycles on people that are toxic for you. Speaking from my own experience, I had my never again moment with the last guy I saw. This past summer, it was a very short situation ship. It was my never again moment. It was the catalyst. Something I realized about that situation because there was a moment where I was like, why does this keep happening to me? And why did this happen again after all the healing I've done? After all the work I've done? Why did I just repeat the pattern again with someone who's also very narcissistic and treated me badly? And then I realized he was my catalyst. I needed that last

slap in the face. I needed that last wake-up call. I needed it. I needed to hit rock bottom again to actually wake the fuck up and change who I am and step into my power for fucking real. I am so in my power in a way that I've never experienced in my life because I needed that last wake-up call. Sometimes we need to go to the lowest points of our life to rise higher than ever. And I've experienced this directly from the summer until now. I am a completely different person. I am a completely different I look physically like a different human being. And I didn't have any work done. I've done Botoxin fillers in the past, but I've done nothing different.

I changed my internal state. The only thing I did differently was I changed my internal state, and I started to truly focus on my own energy, my own power. I pretty much went celibate. I stopped dating. I stopped giving my attention and my energy to men that didn't deserve it. I deleted every single trace of my past because I didn't want to even go there.

there. I didn't want to look backwards. And I reset. And now transitioning into my masterclass, the mind, body, soul reset, and my other masterclass, dare to detach. These two masterclasses are everything I've done to reset my life, reset my mind, body, soul, and advanced to the next level of my life post breakup. I would take all these tools and meditations and quantum leap exercises. And I would journal and work on myself and genuinely do the inner work to heal so I could get to where I am today. You have to do the work. You have to commit to bettering yourself. You have to commit to the healing process. In these master classes, I tell you everything I've literally done to have my glow up and to change from within. And then you start to become so

powerful that you will not tolerate bullshit from anyone ever again. You'll detach. You'll let go and you'll finally realize your worth and you'll realize you're not just going to let anyone step into your vortex and step into your energetic field because you've done the work and it takes a lot of work. So you're not going to go backwards anymore. You're going to look at yourself and be like, I've done so much healing that I can't just let anyone into my life anymore. I have to be selective. I have to audit people and audit their energy and see if they're worth it or not. It doesn't mean you're closed off. It doesn't mean you're closing off yourself to love. It doesn't mean you're blocking your heart from anything. It's actually living with a fully open heart trusting that you have

clear boundaries in place. You know who's right for you and who's not. And you can live freely knowing that you have a golden bubble protecting you at all times, guiding you into the right situations, to the right people, to the right relationships, to the right friendships, to the right career opportunities. You'll be so divinely protected because you've created a new aura for yourself. Your aura will literally shine from gray to gold. When my toxic X was still in my life texting me, calling me, trying to get in touch with me, his energy was still in my space. He was still sucking my power. He was still draining my energetic field and my magnetism. And you could literally go on my Instagram at date yourself instead and look at pictures before and after from March until now.

And you'll see the difference so clearly. I have a different aura. All of my energy is back into my chakras. My chakras aren't all imbalanced and out of whack. My energy is literally grounded in my root chakra and my sacral chakra and everything. And it radiates a different color. I'm literally glowing at a different frequency. And I'm not saying this in any conceited way.

It will happen for anyone that does the inner work. happens to anyone. You've heard of the post breakup glow up. I mean, we all talk about how people go through massive glowups when they end relationships that are toxic. The best part about ending a toxic cycle and relationship and kicking people out of your vibrational field is that you're able to glow up like crazy. Like I look forward to the glow up. I'm like, okay, I'm really sad. This person really hurt me. I'm going to cry it out. I'm going to grieve and go through the healing process and grieving process. But after I cry those tears, I am coming back stronger than fucking ever.

I'm a phoenix rising from the ashes, literally and figuratively. And so are you. If you're going through a breakup right now, you are that phoenix rising from the ashes. You are going to ascend to a level that you never thought you could even get to. Levels that you can never even imagine. You are going to glow gold. You're going to go from gray to gold. And it's only a matter of time, but you have to commit to the healing process.

And that's also why I created my masterclass as the mind, body, soul reset, and dare to detach. because as a combination, those two courses will tell you everything you need to do to become the best fucking version of yourself and become unstoppable post-breakup or post a really difficult time in your life. But yeah, the glow-up is real. Do you want to be the best version of yourself in this lifetime? Or do you want to wait till your next lifetime? Do you want to transcend the next level of your life?

Or are you just going to sit on your couch and eat popcorn and cry to sad movies? Both are good options. I mean, I've done both. But I will say the glow-up is so much more rewarding. letting go of that toxic person that weighed me down for four years is the best thing that's ever fucking happened to me. I'm happier than ever. I can confidently say I'm happier than I've ever been.

I have no one that I have to text back. I have no one that isn't texting me back. I have no one that's ghosting me. I have no one that's treating me like shit. I'm my own partner in the best way. And it's not to say that I don't have moments where I'm lonely or I wish I had someone next to me. Of course I have those moments.

But it just feels so good not to validate my value and validate the love I have for myself through another person. I know that I love myself without anyone. And now that I'm coming from a place of genuine self-love and groundedness and really knowing what it's like to bask in my own energy and bask in my own divine company, I know the next person that I meet is going to be the love of my life and my husband and my soulmate and I cannot wait for that fucking day so I can share it and I can tell you guys what's going on. I'll tell you guys the tea. As soon as it happens, as soon as I'm sure. But I'm going to take

my sweet time. I'm not in a rush. I love this era of my life of truly basking in my own divine energy. Basque in your divine energy. You're so fucking beautiful. You're so special. You're so powerful. Bask in that energy. You have all the love you need within you. I promise you that. You have all the love and light you need within you. I needed a sip of coffee after that rant. Another beautiful thing has happened recently. I don't think he'll ever listen to this. I don't think he even has social media, but my ex from Melbourne and I have been chatting,

and I studied abroad in Melbourne. I think it was 12 years ago, 2012, something like that. Anyways, it was a very long time ago, very different person back then. I was someone that I would never even recognize at that time, and I need to find some pictures. Maybe I should post them and just show you guys the glow up I've had from 2012 until now, I'm unrecognizable, literally.

But when I studied abroad there, I had a very interesting experience. I met this man. He worked at the coffee shop on my campus in Melbourne. Instantly, I knew that something was going to happen between us. It was like that instant connection where you're like, I feel like I've known you to past life. I feel like we're going to get along. I was just drawn to him, and I could tell he was drawn to me.

And we instantly got along really well. We clicked really well. I was kind of going through my badass era, too. because I was a junior in college, it was my study abroad, and I went completely alone to Australia. A lot of people, when they study abroad in college, they'll go with a group of friends that they know from college to Italy or to Spain or somewhere in Europe. It's a very common thing in New York to do like a Florence study abroad trip or Rome or Spain or something in the U.S. or London, right?

But I was like, you know what? I want to do something really crazy. I'm going to go to Australia. So 19-year-old me packed my bags, went to Australia completely by myself, didn't know a single fucking person. I didn't have social media back then. There was no iPhones. Like, this world was extremely different than it is now.

Just keep that in mind because this is kind of crazy. And I was using a paper map to get around. Think about that. Okay. It wasn't that long ago, but I feel like a grandma because I'm like, oh, my God, there was still no, like, Google Maps. I couldn't just go on my phone and look up a location. I was literally using a paper map and asking people in person for help and guide and somewhere to go.

Anyways, I meet this guy on my campus. You know when you just meet someone and you know and you're like, this person is going to give me some life experience right now and I don't know what it is. But I know this is a faded connection. We end up pretty much dating. It was like this interesting friendship because I did feel like we had the basis of a friendship, but then we started to like each other and started to hang out in a more romantic way after a certain point. But I always remember him as someone who just allowed me to really be myself.

Like I was never filtered with him. I was always very authentic. My energy felt very authentic being around him. I felt very free around him. I felt like my Sagittarius side really came out around him. He was a Sagittarius. It just felt so good to be fully authentic with another person without there being some sort of agenda.

There was no agenda or pressure of like, oh, we need to get into a serious relationship because I knew I was leaving. I knew I wasn't going to stay in Australia. I was just studying there for a few months. I didn't mind just going with the flow. It was the first relationship experience I had where I wasn't worried about the outcome. I wasn't worried about what is this?

What are we? It was never, ever liked that with him. And it was just such a beautiful dynamic where it felt light and easy and it felt like he was my best friend. It wasn't about getting into a relationship. It was about freedom. It was about learning how to love someone and care about someone based off of true freedom.

When I left, I realized that I loved him. I realized that my feelings for him were really strong, but that I had to let him go. And it was okay and it was going to be fine. And I was really actually sad when I had left. And then when I got back home, it was just like, I felt like I had come out of a simulation in Australia and I was back in New York and it was just so different. and I was like, I'm never going to see that man again. I'm never going to talk to him again. And we didn't speak for a while.

There was no really ways of contacting. It was just like text message. But back then, there wasn't really Instagram. There wasn't really the means of social media or communication that we have now. The relationship faded over time, naturally. I didn't speak to him for years. And then every now and then, like every few years, I would end up ending a relationship or ending something with someone.

And he would just sprinkle his way back in. he would send a text, I would send a text, we would chat for a bit, and then it would die down. And then he would send a text, and then we would chat for a bit again, and then it would die down. It was always this dynamic where, like, he would just come in and out of my timeline, but I never thought too much into it. I never thought too deep into it. Once again, this dynamic was solely based off of freedom.

There was never any control. It wasn't like he wanted something from me. I wanted something from him. There was no agenda. It was just free flowing, and we knew that we loved each other and cared about each other, but it was always like, you be you, I be me, and we'll keep in touch, but whatever. You know what I mean? Just one of those situations that are so unique and one of a kind and so different than my

typical relationship patterns. And the craziest thing happened while I've been here, it's just so funny because I'm so healed and I feel like I've come so far in my journey and I'm more in my power than I've ever been. And guess who starts showing up in my life more than ever? It's him. He's just a representation of the type of person I would want to marry. He's the epitome of freedom.

He's the epitome of someone who lets me be myself. He doesn't have an agenda to try to control who I am, to control who I'm dating. He literally has asked me like, how are you? Are you dating anyone? And I ask him, and we just like banter back and forth. And there's no control. There's no aspect of like, if you're with this person, I hate you. Or if you don't answer me for a week, I'm triggered.

There's none of that. It's pure freedom and it's teaching me what my version of love and what I want is all about because I truly believe at my core that true love is freedom. True love is allowing that person to be exactly who they are as they are and letting them thrive as they are and loving them regardless. I know that man, I mean, I don't know, he's never like told me this directly, but I know that he like has genuine love for me. And I know I feel the same about him.

And 12 years later, however long it's been, it's been a really long time since I've actually seen him in person, we still have the same love for each other and respect for each other that we did when we met that many years ago. And the fact that he's still in my vibration and in my life, after all of the shit I've been through, after all of the relationships I've been through, after all of the work I've done on myself, the fact that he's still showing up in my life speaks volumes to me because I'm very selective about who I allow into my space. I'm very picky and selective on who I allow in my energetic field and in my space. I don't allow just anyone in my life anymore.

I have very firm boundaries now. The point is nothing has changed in that dynamic because it's always been based off of freedom. And love equals freedom. It's very Sagittarius mindset, I think. I have a lot of Sagittarius in my chart. My moon is Sagittarius and my North Node is Sagittarius. And I get along with Sagittarius energy really well

because I pride myself on freedom and independence and adventure and exploration. And like all these different things are aligned with what I embody. Like we're very similar and we get along so well. So he definitely is one of my soulmates. It's really rare for me to find those people where it just like kind of, we just flow. There's always good conversation. There's just a deep mutual understanding that we're both like respectful of each other

and we both care about each other. And we both have this like link to each other that makes us respect what each other think. regardless of what happens next, you just kind of know that that person is always going to be there as someone who's supportive of you and your future and your life. And that sets the foundation for the type of person that I would want to be with. That sets the new standard for me. I don't need you to whine and dine me and lavish me and fly me around the world and, you know, all these things all over social media. Like if you're not spending $10 million on me a year and flying me private to Dubai. I hate you. Don't talk to me. Like, I don't have high standards when it comes to

the concept of materialism, right? Or money or needing my man to like financially spoil me. I have high standards when it comes to how I feel around that person, how I genuinely feel around that person, how they make me feel if they light me up and inspire me to chase after my dreams even more, if they're not threatened by my power, if they make me feel more in my power, If they make me feel more excited to wake up and do shit with my life, those are the type of people I want in my life, regardless if it's a friend, a partner, a business relationship, I want people around me that inspire me to go after my dreams,

to make me excited to wake up in the morning and go. Like my husband is going to be someone that puts me more in my power to thrive in my career and what I'm doing and support my mission and be my cheerleader and be my rock. Not someone that's making me feel, insecure about it that's making me feel insecure about how much money I make or how successful I am or threatened by my power or trying to tear me down because they're threatened by my power.

No. We have none of that moving forward. If you're with someone who's trying to chip away at your power to make you feel small or insecure like you're not good enough, walk away. Let them walk away or you have to be the one to walk away. We're not allowing people to chip away at our power and we're not allowing people to make us feel small because they're threatened by our power. I've done this with men where I will date them and they tell me, oh, I admire you so much. You're so amazing. You're like this goddess and they hype you up and then they tear you down. They hype you up and then they bring you to rock bottom because they're too threatened and intimidated

by your success and your power and how amazing you are. Don't allow that bullshit to come into your life. It's never worth it. It's never a good time. It's never a fun experience. And I've had so many of those people that I know exactly the warning signs to look out for. And I'm just done. That version of me is done that would tolerate any type of that.

If you make me feel like I have to change who I am based on your insecurities, we're done. There will be none of that moving forward. It is our time to step into our power more than ever. It is our time to reclaim all the energy that we've lost to the people that sucked it dry. This is our time. It's never too late to start. start over and create a brand new identity for yourself. It's never too late to start over and take your power back and know your fucking worth.

And that's literally why I created my masterclasses. I'm not trying to plug them and like do a marketing thing on my podcast. But I literally talk about these courses because they're the only thing I promote. I only want to promote things I truly believe in on the podcast and things I stand for and the values I stand for. And I literally created these courses because I know that they're going to help heal people and go and help people change their fucking lives. You deserve to be in your power.

And you're going to be. And I believe in you, and I know if you're listening to this, I'm sending you all my love and healing energy through this episode right now. And I hope you feel it. If you could close your eyes for 30 seconds and just picture me sending you golden light and my healing energy

and my love to you and a big hug. I'm literally squeezing you right now and telling you how much I love you, how much I appreciate you, and how valued you are. Because you are, and I literally felt that I just got chills all over my body. I want you to know how loved you are, and if someone is not making you feel lovable, let them walk away, or let yourself be the one to walk away. Cut the cord. don't need people in your life that don't see your worth and that don't love you. If you really

think about it objectively, if you take a step back for a second, why would you want someone in your life that doesn't want to love you, that doesn't want to make you feel lovable? That's like the shittiest type of person to have around. Someone that doesn't make you feel like you're loved. Goodbye. You can love yourself. I'm sending you my love. You don't need them. And if I can conclude with one really important message for all of you today, it's live. It's live. Live freely with love in your heart and don't be afraid to love. Don't be afraid to, you know, share your love with other people. But live freely.

Don't put rules on yourself. Don't block yourself from, you know, your blessings. Don't cage yourself in and think, oh, my God, if I'm not with this person, I'm never going to meet anyone else. If I don't do X, Y, and Z, I'm going to be a failure. If I don't take these next steps right in this very moment, I'm never going to be successful. Don't cage yourself in to your life and imprison yourself through your life. your thoughts. You know what I mean? Like don't limit yourself. Don't place these boxes on

yourself. Live with an open heart. Live with love. Open your heart up to all the possibilities that God has to offer you, that the world has to offer you. Stop caging yourself into one way or one version of your reality. You will meet your person, but you have to be open to all the possibilities. You can't be focused on one person that betrayed you and you're like, I need them back. I need them back. This is my one and only. What if they were removed from your life so you could meet your actual one and only. You have to think big picture. Stop caging yourself in and living in a mindset that's limited because otherwise you're not going to be able to access these new timelines that are going to propel you forward and allow you to meet the right people who will

stay and the right people who actually love you and the right people who actually see your worth. I think you get it and I'm proud of you. If you've made it this far on the episode, I'm proud of you. I love you. I'm sending you all my love and light. I'm sending you all my healing as always. You guys are amazing. You guys keep me going. You guys have healed me literally as much as I hope I've healed you. And if you haven't already, be sure to share with a friend. If you're enjoying the episodes, if they resonate, if you think this could help someone going through a hard time.

If you also haven't, be sure to rate the podcast on Apple and Spotify, leave a comment on Spotify and YouTube. If you've been enjoying the episodes, if you are watching on YouTube, feel free to like this video, give it a thumbs up, and subscribe to the new channel. I'm really excited about it to keep posting on YouTube as well. I love you. I'm sending you all my love and energy and all my positive healing energy and stay tuned for next Monday.