Date Yourself Instead - Stop comparing, rushing & pressuring yourself - FOLLOW YOUR OWN TIMELINE.

Episode Date: March 3, 2025

Your timeline is yours. Stop comparing your timeline to everyone else’s.Join my masterclasses:Dare to Detach - detach from the past and rewire your mind for good in just 4 days. Mind Body Soul Reset - reset your energy field and have people asking “what did you do differently?!”My instagram: @lyss Podcast: @dateyourselfinstead

There is no rush or deadlines on your life. Stop rushing the process of your life. Stop putting yourself in a box. Stop putting pressure on yourself. Stop rushing the process of your life. Do you actually trust the process of your journey and your timeline and where you're going in your life? Stop comparing your timelines to other people's. Stop comparing your timelines to other peoples. Stop comparing

your life and your destiny and your specific destined path to someone else's. What someone else is doing is none of your concern. What someone else is doing right now in this moment is none of your business. The only person you should be thinking about is you when it comes to your destiny and your life, you are in charge of your own destiny. When you trust your path and you stop comparing your timeline to everyone else's, it takes the pressure off of you.

It takes the pressure off of your life and it allows you to surrender and live in flow and live in the moment and ground yourself. Everyone is put on this earth for a specific reason. Everyone has a specific life path that they're following, but you have your own. You are unique. You are special. You are different than everyone else.

What everyone else is doing is none of your business. The only person you should be focused on is yourself and creating your destiny and your future and aligning yourself and creating your destiny and your future and aligning yourself with what your soul is calling you to do. Stop looking at everyone else and thinking oh I should be doing that I should be following what they're doing. This person is an influencer so I should start becoming an influencer. This person is going to Ibiza so I need to book a trip to Ibiza. If you actually to book a trip to Ibiza.

If you actually just centered your energy for one second and focused on your goals and your mission and you removed all the noise and you removed what everyone else was telling you to do and you stopped scrolling and absorbing everyone else's content and timelines and agendas and you really just took a second to think about what you actually want out of life you'll discover that oftentimes it's very different from what you thought you wanted when you get absorbed and wrapped up in social media and external validation in your friends opinions in your family's opinions it can be so easy to get swayed if you're not truly grounded and confident in

yourself. If you don't have a good sense of identity and you're insecure and you're not fully grounded at your core, you're going to make decisions based off of other people's lives and agendas and not your own. You're going to follow other people's paths instead of your own. You're going to follow other people's dreams and footsteps instead of your own. Now why does that make any fucking sense? You deserve to follow your own calling and your own path and be a leader. You were born to be great and you're destined to be your own human being. You were put on this earth to be your own identity and shape your own path and do what you love to do and not base your life off of other people's motives and what they expect of you.

Growing up, I lived in an environment where a lot of people, and I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this, you grew up from a small hometown and the normal thing to do is to graduate from college, find your person, settle down, get married, have a 9 to 5, and have children, start a family, which is all fine. If that is what makes you truly happy, I am so happy for you. I am fully supportive of anyone's lifestyle as long as you are happy and you're being true to yourself and being authentic. But if you were just doing things because you were programmed to do these things,

if you're just doing things and following people because you think it's the right thing to do, when deep in your core, you know that you're destined for something different, that's a different story. I always knew I was destined for something different in my life. I always knew that I wanted to live outside of the norm, outside of the box that I was put in. I was put in a box on Long Island.

I love Long Island and I'm so grateful and I love my family and I love the environment I grew up in. However, I knew I wasn't meant to be there. I knew that I was different and I wanted to do something different with my life. And I wasn't meant to be there. I knew that I was different, and I wanted to do something different with my life, and I wasn't meant to do what was expected of me. I wanted to create something bigger than myself. I wanted to live life according to my own rules and my terms and what I wanted, what my soul wanted. What is your soul calling you to do?

Who is your soul calling you to be? Who is your soul calling you to be? The way to really discover this and tap into this is to get quiet in your mind. Make room for silence. Give yourself a period of time where you are taking time for yourself to really get to know who you are, to date yourself, to love yourself without the validation of other people around you, without people distracting you, pulling you out of your environment all the time, drinking, going out, partying on the weekends. Where are you devoting your energy right now?

The key to really knowing your purpose and your path and following your mission and your soul's calling is to work in silence. Clear the noise, block out the noise, block out the people who are telling you it's unrealistic, it's impossible to do what you wanna do. You can't fulfill your dreams. It's too hard to be a social media influencer.

It's too hard to start a podcast. It's too hard to start a business, to be an entrepreneur in this day and age. It's actually more accessible than ever. It's all mindset. It's all perspective. It's all believing that you can. If you believe that you are meant for something more than what you're doing right now, then

you're meant for something more. That is your soul telling you that you are meant for greatness. Don't listen to the opinions of other people trying to convince you out of your greatness. You're not going in that direction. You're not going where they're going. Let them do what they have to do. Let them believe what they want to believe. You're not going that way.

I was actually having a conversation with one of my friends about this because she was like, you know, this psychic told me XYZ about my life, that I was this and I was destined for this and it didn't resonate and it made me feel like shit about myself. And I said, stop listening to the psychics, stop listening to anyone that is telling you or convincing you out of your plans and what you know is best for you and go according to what your soul is telling you. You have all the answers within you.

I talk about this in my Mind, body, soul reset masterclass. It is so important to stop listening to the psychics. It's not a bad thing to have a reading or go to these people, but you have to take it with a grain of salt because your soul knows best. If people are telling you negative things about yourself, if people are telling you your destiny and it sounds negative, it can weigh in your subconscious and actually deter

you from your mission and deter you from your path. So you have to be careful where you're placing your energy and where you're placing your trust in people. I've gone to really amazing readers that keep it positive, that keep it light, that keep it inspiring. If you're going to these people that are bringing you down and telling you that something is impossible or telling you that it's not gonna work,

that it's not in your cards, that it's not in the cards for you, that you're going to fail at this certain thing, that this person is cheating on you, even though that never even crossed your mind. If they are putting and infiltrating negative things into your mind, it will affect your decision making. That's why I always say, trust your inner voice and your intuition over other people. Stop listening to the external.

Go within. Listen to the internal, your inner voice, your inner calling. What is your higher self saying to you about the situation? Who is your higher self telling you you could be? And telling you what you're capable of. It's so, so important to tap into yourself over anyone else. You know yourself better than anyone else. Create a few days of silence for yourself. Get out a journal, pen and paper. Play some nice relaxing classical music in the background.

Make yourself comfortable at home or wherever you are. Go out in nature. Find a peaceful environment to reflect and really get real and honest with yourself. And work in silence and journal in silence and write down the things you love, what you're passionate about, what your soul is speaking to you in your mind when you have these moments of silence. Tap into that version of you and then work towards it. My friend was telling me when she went to the psychic, they were telling her things that were not true about herself and it weighed into her mind and it played a significant

role in why she didn't pursue a dream that she had. She was scared, she started living in fear, she started living in a lack mindset because someone had told her that she wasn't capable of achieving what she wanted to achieve. It's so crazy how the opinion of one person can actually influence the entire direction and course of your life and your destiny. Are you letting people convince you out of your destiny? Stop letting them. You know what you're capable of.

You're a warrior. You're a divine creator. God put you here to create. I literally got this tattoo in Bali, born to create. I have to get it touched up because it kind of faded But it's a reminder To me and to the rest of the world and I'll say it and I'll preach it for the rest of my life you are born to create I saw this tik-tok recently and

I forgot who said it but it was so powerful. I this person said in I forgot who said it, but it was so powerful. This person said, in order to avoid depression and anxiety and living in fear, you have to put your mind to work. You can't sit on your ass and do nothing for days at a time because it creates depression and anxiety because you start overthinking. You start isolating your mind and start living in fear

because you're constantly overthinking about the what ifs, about what you still need to do, and you start going down a spiral and a rabbit hole of negative thought patterns. If you're not keeping yourself living in your truth and your passion and you're not working towards something, you could end up in a depression just from sitting on your ass and doing nothing for days at a time because your brain gets used to it and then it becomes a habit and then the few days at a time turns into weeks and then it becomes a habit and then the few days at a time turns into weeks and then it turns into months and I'm speaking on this because I've been there. I think I was born an old soul and I tend to

overthink a lot and my emotions were very up and down growing up in an environment where maybe I wasn't emotionally cared for in the way that I needed to be cared for. And we could get into that another time, but the reality of the situation is I've had mental health issues for many, many, many years and I've experienced the highs and the lows and the in-betweens. And I'm speaking from my experience. The way I've pulled myself out of depression and isolation and anxiety is by working towards a goal and working towards a mission and a purpose. When I hit rock bottom a few years ago and I was broke and depressed and I felt like I literally could not function or get out of my bed, I knew eventually at some point I had to make a change and that was the birth of Date Yourself instead.

That was the birth of the podcast. And when I originally had started the podcast, I was in probably one of the lowest points of my life. And I was like, I don't even know what I'm doing. I don't know if this is going to work. I don't know what the next steps are or what my future is going to look like, but I have to do something. I have to take some sort of initiative to get myself out of this mental state. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be in this state for the rest of my life. I have to take action and work towards something and work towards a dream. And maybe that will help.

And guess what? My life turned around. I'm not going to lie. It hasn't been easy. It hasn't been perfect. There's been a lot of road bumps along the way. There's been a lot of struggle along the way, but it builds your character. You were brought down to significant lows because you are going to skyrocket and build

yourself up so much higher. Your life is going to skyrocket into blessings and miracles and abundance in a brand new way that is so much bigger than you could have ever expected and then you're gonna look back and be so Grateful you didn't give up on yourself and so grateful you followed your calling and so grateful you took those risks and So grateful you powered through even in the worst of times Because God and a higher power is Protecting you and is putting you through these tests and trials in order to elevate you to heights that you couldn't even imagine.

I've been at the lowest breaking point where I felt like I could not continue and I didn't want to wake up in the morning. And now I am living my absolute dream. Not to be dramatic, but I almost just started crying. There have been periods of my life where I genuinely did not want to wake up and now I am in a place where I'm finally happy. I'm not happy from the external bullshit. I'm not happy from a guy giving me attention. I'm not happy from money. I'm not happy from someone guy giving me attention, I'm not happy from money, I'm not happy from someone complimenting me and telling me I look nice.

No, I'm happy because I built my strength and my core and I became a warrior through all the stuff that I've been through. Oh my god, this is like so unlike me to cry on an episode, but it just hit me so hard when I said that. I have been through so much and I'm so fucking grateful that I went through what I went through, even though at that time I thought my life was over. Something my dad said to me when I got to Bali because I was really going through it again, I went through a relapse of the pain and trauma that I went through from my ex and all the narcissistic abuse that I suffered and my dad said something to me that brought me so much comfort and I go to him for so much of his wisdom because he's you know he's really... Dads know

everything. Parents know way more than you want to give them credit for. And he said to me, your life is just beginning. Your life is just beginning. And you have a new chance at life every single day. It's never too late to start a new dream, to start a new goal, to start a new project. It's never too late to restart and reset. 10 years ago, my 21-year-old self would have been like 31, that's so old, like

my life would be over by then, but no. I feel younger now than I did at 21. I feel more vibrant and I have more freedom and I have more self love and compassion for myself than ever before. Like I truly believe my 30s are an entirely new me. It's an entirely new identity. I feel reborn. I feel like a brand new person and It's such a beautiful thing and if anyone's watching this going through a really hard time I want to Tell you With all of my heart that it really does get better when you start having faith in God and a higher power I don't want to push any sort of religion on anyone, but I promise you if you have some

sort of higher power to turn to in times of hardship and if you can pray or do something to just build a sense of faith and trust in a higher power, your life will turn around. Your life will get better. It may take some time, but just be patient and trust and I promise you it will get around. Your life will get better. It may take some time, but just be patient and trust and I promise you it will get better. And if this episode can help you in any way too, that's amazing. And that's all I want. And that's all I will continue to do and devote my life to helping and healing. It genuinely makes me so fucking happy when I get messages from you guys and I see that you're doing well and you've turned your lives around and you're healing and you're getting stronger.

It makes me so happy for you. And I just want happiness for everyone and I want everyone to know that you deserve to be happy. You deserve to fulfill your soul's calling. You deserve to follow your dreams. Don't let anyone stop you. Don't let anyone stop you. Don't let anyone bring you down or weigh you down for the long haul. It's okay to experience emotions.

We all are going to go through battles in life and hard times and rock bottom moments, but don't let it stop you. Continue, push through, power through. I promise you it will get better. If you are looking for some motivation for a reset to change your life, I have my masterclass the Mind Body Soul Reset that was just launched. It's a 21-day program that includes a three-week treadmill guide that I use that you could use in the gym and it's very light minimal body weight workouts. You only need one set of

dumbbells and the rest is treadmill focused. I highly recommend it if you're looking for a new workout routine, to get a little more inspired, to go to the gym again, to get back into an active mindset, just to move your body,

move that energy and feel better and more grounded in your frame as you're continuing your healing journey. I created this guide for you to completely transform and reset your life for the better, to reset your mind, body, and soul. When we master the art of healing the mind, body, and soul,

and they all are working together and they're all working in flow, that's when miracles in your life will start to happen. This masterclass covers the art of nurturing all three of these components in order for you to be the best possible version of yourself and I'm so excited for all of you who've already joined. It's the perfect opportunity to transform. You're not even gonna be able to recognize your old self. I cannot wait for you to join and it's gonna be incredible. Let me know if

you have any questions you could always send me a message on Instagram as well. Beautiful things really do happen in Bali. There's just a magic to the island. It's like a spiritual vortex. And the people here that live here are just so beautiful. They have such a divine energy about them. And they're so kind and they're so gracious and so loving. And I just have such an appreciation for this place more than ever. And for Hindu

culture, I can't even put into words how I felt stepping onto this island for the first time when I was going through my breakup and going through my healing journey and then being surrounded by such a loving community of people and you just watch these people go to the ocean every night and pray and thank God. And it's just such a beautiful thing to witness and see and it's something so different like I've never seen before. Very different from Manhattan, very different energy. Bali is a very feminine energy.

So I feel like I've been more maternal here I've been looking at families and I'm like, oh my god, suddenly I want children suddenly I'm like I want to be a mom like tomorrow. I Don't know what happened to me. Bali has really opened my heart. It's made me more loving. It's made me kinder It's made me more grounded. It's made me more Confident in who I am and the person I'm becoming I'm just so grateful that I've had this experience. And if you could ever make it to Bali at some point in your life, you should go.

Maybe I'll do retreats. If you guys are interested in me hosting Bali retreats in 2025, send me a message on Instagram or comment it on this podcast on Spotify. I would love to hear from you if there's any interest. Anyways, I was out to breakfast this morning and I bumped into this woman. My friend had sent me this woman's Instagram a couple of nights ago and I'm like, Oh my God, I know her because my friend sent me her Instagram. But this is so crazy that I literally am meeting her in

person two days later. So I go over to the table and I'm like, hi, you know my friend, blah, blah, blah. She's like, please have a seat. We ended up having this amazing conversation and part of the conversation I wanted to share, which was about not rushing, not rushing life, taking your sweet time, going at your own pace and trusting that there's a higher power guiding you and your path specifically. She was talking about how she knows that her whole 30s she wasn't fully prepared to have a child or to be married and now that she's at an age where she's done the healing work, she's really grounded

herself and she's worked on herself in an entirely different way, she knows now that she's ready. But in the past she wasn't. We have this culture of always putting pressure before we're ready, putting pressure on marriage, putting pressure on having kids, putting pressure on pregnancy and oh my god I have to freeze my eggs. There's this whole rush and pressure especially on women that we have to do certain things by a certain time frame or else we're not good enough or else we're making a mistake. But I truly believe that everyone

is put here on a specific timeline for themselves. And you cannot compare your timing to someone else's. And as I said in the beginning of this episode, stop putting yourself in a box. Stop following other people's timelines. When you trust in God, magic happens. Because if you trust that he is putting you on a specific path for a reason, it

will give you the ability to surrender and live in a flow state of peace and ease. Everything you'll ever want to manifest will come to fruition, will come into your physical, because you are in a place of genuine ease and surrender and peace. The reason you are blocking your blessings, more times than not, is because you are so stressed about it.

You're living in stress. You're living according to other people's timelines, other people's journeys, and other people's paths, which makes you ungrounded. And you're not centered, and you're not in your own flow state because you're too busy chasing after someone else's life. Oh my god, if I don't have kids by this age, I'm a failure.

If I don't want to have kids at all, I'm a failure. If I don't travel the world and become an influencer, I'm not doing the right thing. If I'm not married by this date, I'm never going to find anyone. I'm never going to get married. If I don't meet my husband by the time I'm 35, I'm fucked. Sorry, excuse my language. But, like, there's so many circumstances that we face where we feel like we have to rush and

make decisions based off what everyone else is telling us is normal. But if you just trust that your path is your path, if you just genuinely trust that your destiny is your destiny and what's meant for for you is never gonna pass you by, and you stop living in fear and in a lack mindset, and you start thinking bigger picture, and you start genuinely having faith that what's meant for you is going to be for you, and that you will receive everything

you've ever wanted out of life on your timeline, everything opens up, everything starts opening up, everything starts shifting dramatically. You will see dramatic shifts in your life when you surrender your energy and trust in a higher power. Having faith is a game changer. I also talk about having faith a lot in both of my master classes.

Why? Because faith is the force that is going to get you to the next level of your life. When you trust in the unseen and the unknown, having that trust is the key to getting everything you've ever wanted out of life. And when you truly trust, you're able to just live in the moment and be present and smile and be grateful and practice gratitude more often because you're not living in worry and you're not always anxious about the future.

My wish for you is to wake up every day being excited about your life because you are following your destiny and you're not looking at anyone else's path and feeling discouraged or comparing and feeling like you're not on the right track because of what someone else is accomplishing. There are so many Podcasters in the world nowadays. Okay, there's like five or six million podcasts out there. Maybe more now

That was the last statistic. I heard like a year ago. So it's probably way more now. It's probably double and I Could sit around for the rest of my life, comparing my journey with my work and my mission and date yourself instead with every other podcast and be looking at the charts every day and saying, oh, like I need to be number one, I need to be this, I need to be that, I need to be number one and I need to have this many downloads

and I need to have this many people and I could be caught up in the bullshit and the external numbers and all the Validation of oh my god. It's a big podcast. It's this it's that and Compare my journey and my calling to everyone else's I could do that But why the fuck would I do that? Why would I waste my energy looking at what everyone else is doing in the podcast industry? I waste my energy looking at what everyone else is doing in the podcast industry. You know what that's going to do?

That's going to destroy the meaning behind what I'm doing and my mission on earth. My true calling is to create so I could help others. So if I'm spending my time looking at what everyone else is doing and comparing my journey and my path and my career and what I've accomplished with everyone else, I'm going to be miserable. The biggest takeaway I've learned from working towards my goals and becoming confident in myself is to stop comparing myself to everyone else's stuff and their timelines and their careers and what they're doing.

Stop looking at other people and getting discouraged. You are on your own unique path. Wake up every day and be confident in who you are. You're the best. Be so confident in who you are that you're not going to let anyone or anything shake you ever again. That is all I want for you. And when you get to that level of confidence and unshakable, unwavering confidence, you will be fucking unstoppable.

You will get everything you want out of life, naturally. You're not gonna have to force it. You're not gonna have to chase it. You're not gonna have to push it. You will become magnetic because you're finally channeling your energy inwards and not throwing it outwards into the world. I'm really giving you an intense preview

of the masterclass, the Mind Body Soul Reset, but I just want this information out there. I want the world to know it and live it and breathe it and see it. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live in your truth. You deserve to live for your soul and not for your ego. And I want the best for you.

I love you. I hope this episode resonated with you today. I think that concludes today's episode of Date Yourself Instead. I appreciate you as always. If you haven't already, be sure to check out both the masterclasses, the Mind, Body, Soul, Reset and Dare to Detach. Both of those combined are the ultimate game changers stepping into 2025. And if you're enjoying the episodes on Date Yourself Instead, feel free to leave a comment on Spotify as well as share it with a friend. I love you, thank you as always, and stay tuned for next Monday.