Date Yourself Instead - Stop playing small and start living your dream life

Episode Date: May 19, 2026

Stop playing small. This is your wake-up call to get out of your own head and step into the version of you that your future has been waiting for. I talk about why procrastination is usually fear disguised as “not being ready,” how your dream life is going to feel uncomfortable before it feels natural, and why clarity almost always comes AFTER the move. We get into stagnation seasons, rebuilding momentum, dropping excuses before life forces you to, and why nobody is thinking about you as much as you think they are. If you’ve been waiting for a sign to stop overthinking and finally move, this is it xxMY MASTERCLASSES can be found here. download now and quantum jump into your highest self.

We don't hesitate on our dreams because we're lazy. We hesitate on our dreams because we are scared to threaten any version of ourselves that feels safe. When we're doing something different, when we're breaking out of old patterns and habits, when we're trying to achieve something new in our lives, it could feel threatening to the versions of us that feels ultimately very safe and grounded. When I decided to get up from my New York apartment years ago and pack all my stuff and burn my old life to the ground and move to Bali temporarily, to really just heal and find myself and focus on me,

it felt like I was falling apart. It felt so scary. It felt very intimidating. And also, it was stripping me away of everything that I knew about myself that felt safe. My sense of security felt very threatened because I didn't know what was coming next. I had no idea what was in store for the next era of my life. And when we can't see the future ahead of us, it can feel intimidating. Oftentimes, we're afraid to get out of our own way and to,

really step out of our own thoughts because it threatens our familiarity. Your dreams aren't just goals. It's a complete identity shift. And when we're shifting identities, it can feel very uncomfortable. Stepping into your future self where you've achieved literally everything you've ever wanted comes with playing it big. We're here to play a big life. We're not here to play it small. When we're stepping into that new version of us, that means we have to say goodbye to every single safe version of us that played it small, that was afraid to grow, that was afraid to change and expand. Being mediocre isn't in the cards for you. We are here to play large and think big and play out our wildest dreams and live out everything we've ever wanted to. So on today's episode,

I'm going to encourage you to get the fuck out of your own way and to get out of your own head so you can achieve everything you've wanted moving into 2026. Chasing your purpose means getting rid of all of your old excuses, getting rid of the old timeline, getting rid of any version of you that like to play it safe. Our brains are wired for safety, for comfort, for doing the same things on repeat 24-7. Being in the unknown can trigger our fight or flight. It can feel very destabilizing at first because we have no idea what's in store for us, especially if we're shifting careers, if we're taking on a new role at work, or we're moving environments, we're changing our job and moving to a new city, or we're literally quitting our job

just to go all in with social media or building our own business or becoming an entrepreneur. Anything that we're taking a risk on can feel unsafe in the beginning because it's so unfamiliar. I was talking to someone here about pursuing a new goal. This is something that I've thought about. It's crossed my mind. I've had this idea since the beginning of the year where I would be doing something that's crossing me into unfamiliar territory. I've never created physical products before. I'm a very digital girl and I love the digital world. I love social media and I love digital products. I just love building my master classes, my courses, e-books. I've always been very digital and very online. So for me to dip my toe into the physical product world is very intimidating

for me personally because I know I would need to hire a team. I know I would need a lot of extra help as I'm building this idea that I have in my head. And I kept pushing it away. I kept telling this person, I don't think it's a good idea. It's too big for me. It's too big of a project to take on. It just feels very stressful and overwhelming. And she looked at me and she was like, well, have you ever thought maybe it's not

that it's misaligned? It's not that it's something that's not destined for you. Maybe it's just so unfamiliar to you that your brain is kind of like, this is too big. But in reality, it's actually meant for you and you just need to recalibrate to the new timeline. And actually, it is part of the plan because you're thinking about it so much. And usually when we get these big ideas and they don't go away, they are part of our destiny. They're part of our divine plan. And I sat with that for a minute and I was like, you know what? It is because it's unfamiliar. My brain cannot literally comprehend such a massive upgrade and such a big timeline

identity shift. It can feel a little bit scary, but at the end of the day, I know I need to do it. We need to do it. We need to get shit done. We have one life. We have one life to create everything we've ever wanted and to pursue our wildest dreams. So why the fuck not? Chasing your dreams can feel scary. And I'm going to break down why it feels scary and how we can overcome this to tackle everything we've ever wanted into the new year. I'm going to break down why it could feel threatening to us so we really understand it. We're going to unpack it and then we're going to find the solutions on how to overcome these limiting beliefs and these thoughts. I find the biggest reason why we struggle with putting ourselves out there, putting ourselves online and really showcasing who

we are and building a new business or taking a risk on ourselves. It's so vulnerable. We feel very exposed because it's so new and it's something we're not used to. It could feel very exposing. And when we feel exposed, it threatens our safety and our level of comfort within ourselves. When we're not fully secure in what we're building because it's so new, it almost feels like we shouldn't do it. It almost feels like what's the point? Like we're not confident enough to go through with it. I want to tell you right now that this is a normal feeling. And once you break through this insecurity barrier, that's when you get to the next level and that's when you're able to create things unimaginable to your old self. You're going to be such a different.

person pursuing your dreams, going hard with your goals, being so fucking confident in your new self that nothing is going to sway you or convince you out of your passions. As I said, the biggest thing for me is we have one life. We have one shot to create, to live out our purpose, to live out everything we've ever wanted. So why not? Why not take a bet on yourself? Why not take this leap of faith even if it feels terrifying? That's where the good stuff comes from. Taking on a new business venture where I'd need physical products, I'd be hosting events, I'd probably be public speaking later in my career as I'm building this. I'm thinking of all the what ifs and I'm like, oh my God, what if I can't handle it? I don't like the way I look on camera half the time. I don't like

the way I speak sometimes. There's just so many things and pressure that comes with building a business. There is a lot that comes with it. And I know that. And it could be really overwhelming. At the same time, even though it feels very overwhelming, I couldn't imagine not giving it a shot. I could not possibly imagine not giving myself the opportunity to try and to actually take a risk on myself and go all in, even if I wake up with anxiety and scared because it's just different and it's like moving into more mature adult territory. A lot of the times we're waiting for a sign to move and to take action and to take a bet on ourselves. Something I've realized while building my businesses and having so many different social media eras of my life is that clarity comes after you take the action a lot of the time. Sometimes it's not in the moment or before where you're like you wake up like you're in the movies and you're like, oh, I have an epiphany. Sometimes after you take the action, you'll realize certain things like, oh my God, I actually do enjoy this.

This is actually something I maybe could handle. This is something I could see myself doing for the rest of my life. This is something I am really excited about when I wake up in the morning. For example, when I had started my podcast, I was going through one of the worst oppressions I've ever been in. I was really struggling mentally and I didn't know if the podcast was a good idea. It was something that was on my mind. It was something that kept replaying in my mind that I wanted to do maybe, but then I would

go back on my word and then I'd stall and then I'd hesitate on it. And it took me a while to actually take the action to start it. When I eventually did put out the first episode, the first week I was also going through emotions, going through a panic attack being like, I don't know if anyone's going to listen to this. This is really embarrassing and cringy because it was so vulnerable and so raw. And I was sharing my dating life at the time. And I was also in a really bad mental place.

So I was like, is this the right decision? Is this the right column? I just like flying off the deep end here or is this going to stick and this is something that I'm supposed to be doing? Lo and behold, obviously you know how that turned out. I ended up falling in love with the process of recording, going into the studio. sharing my story and all it took was a little nudge from myself and the universe, even though I wasn't sure. I did it anyway. I took the action anyway. And what ended up happening was I fell in

love with the journey of creation. I fell in love with the process of recording the podcast. I fell in love with myself through taking that initial step. At that time, I was in such a bad place. I was willing to basically try anything to get myself out of that bad place. And then once I started recording episodes and the feedback was so incredible and then I started getting messages from people saying how the podcast was helping them go through their relationship struggles. I realized that doing the podcast and starting it and recording that first episode was all I needed to snowball into a new timeline. I had finally taken the bet on myself. I finally built up the courage to go all in with something that in the beginning I wasn't entirely sure about and it ended up

changing the entire course of my life. The clarity came after the initial episode, the first episode. Even after the first episode, it took about a month for me to really get in the rhythm of trusting and believing in myself. And then once I really made that switch and that power move and I was like, this is my purpose. This is what I'm doing now. I have a podcast.

I'm going all in. I'm betting on myself. I'm investing in me. I'm putting all of my eggs in one basket here. That's when everything changed. the episode started going viral. Momentum started to happen. And people started to notice it.

People started to DM me asking if they could be guests on the podcast, even though I decided to do it solo. There was just so much traction and movement. And I realized that if I hadn't made that initial jump and leap of faith and I hadn't gotten over that wall of fear, I wouldn't be sitting here right now doing what I do today. And I wouldn't have built the community that I built. I wouldn't have connected with so many of you amazing people.

It just goes to show that sometimes, you just need to push yourself a tiny bit to really see what the future has in store for you. Now, oftentimes when we're starting something new, we're in a transitional period where everything feels very slow. We're in a recalibration period and we don't even realize this, but it's a very spiritual concept that I've come to understand is real. This is real, okay? When we're about to up level, we often go through a period of stagnation and isolation and feeling like things aren't working or making sense. Things are slow. Things are stuck.

I'll be completely transparent. The last year for me has felt like I'm walking through fucking mud. Every move I made business-wise felt like I was moving through quicksand. I was walking like this. While I was living in London this year, I'm like, why does everything feel so slow? I just wanted to like shake the universe and be like, what the F? Excuse my language, but it was frustrating me because I'm a go-getter. I like to move.

I like to get shit done. The whole reason I decided to base myself in London for six months was to move fast and the opposite ended up happening. It ended up just feeling like I was going in circles, doing the same thing over and over again and getting no results. To be completely honest. So I was like, you know what? I'm surrendering. This year was a year where I'm recalibrating. I'm recalibrating to the next era of my life because now I know that I've been forced to slow down.

2026 is going to be the year of fire, of power moves, of moving faster than lightning, moving at lightning speed. I love leaving things up to God too because God doesn't work on our human clock. He does not work in physical 3D timing. God works in his own timing. And what do I mean by that? What you think could take 10 years of busting your ass on could take you actually a single year or 10 months or six months if God steps in and accelerates your journey and accelerates your

career and your growth. That's why when you see a celebrity working behind the scenes, you have no idea who they are out of nowhere they pop up and explode. You're like, where did they come from? Where did they come from? I've never heard of them before and all of a sudden their music's everywhere. Their art is everywhere. You see people going viral and you're kind of confused like where the fuck did they come from. It was God's timing that accelerated them and quantum leap to them into exposure, into massive growth. They may have been working for years and years, but one moment, it takes one moment, one timeline shift,

one identity upgrade overnight to catapult someone years ahead, where you're like, oh my God, this person just blew up. It's because they made the identity shift. They made the energetic timeline shift into the next level of their life. They unlock the next level. And God can literally work miracles so fast, you wouldn't even believe how fast.

You'd be like, it's literally not comprehensible. It's not comprehensive to our physical mind, how things can move really fast after a period of slowing down. So a huge lesson I took from this year is it's okay to slow down. It's okay to recalibrate and reflect and go through a season where you're kind of just chilled out because this is really the preparation for you to unlock a level so big and so crazy and so filled of everything you've ever wanted and everything you've been praying for, that you needed that season of rest. You needed that season of recalibration because if you didn't have that, you wouldn't be able to hold the energy and the space for what was coming. A lot of the times, too,

when we are going through a massive timeline upgrade and we're going to ascend to a higher version of ourselves, it can be scary to not be able to make excuses for ourselves. Let me explain that. If you get comfortable with making excuses for yourself, it becomes a part of your identity where you're like, oh, I don't need to do this right now. I'll do it later. Oh, I'll put this off until another time. Or oh, you just keep procrastinating. You keep hesitating. You keep stalling. It's so easy to be that almost person. You almost get things done. You almost finish this project. You kind of get used to doing things half ass and halfway because it's just easier. It's so much easier to do it that way. When you become comfortable with making excuses, it kind of just becomes a part

of who you are, like a practice, like anything. The more you do certain things, act a certain way and embody a certain identity, it just becomes a habit. When you say, oh, I don't have time, I'll do it next year, I'll start next month, whatever it is, that's just easy programming. And you're running kind of on autopilot, like, oh, it's all good, I'll do it later. And you just get comfortable with that. When you take away the excuses, your foundation is basically collapsing. And it can feel really destabilizing. And you're like, oh my God, all you have left now is responsibility. All you have left now is you, yourself, and you. So you're like, fuck. My back's up against the wall. Now I actually have no excuses. I have to do something. Oftentimes we'll run out of excuses when our back is up against

the wall, when we need the money, when we need the resources, when we need genuine help and we're like, fuck, I actually need to get my shit together. That's when you start running out of excuses because you're like, I have nothing left to excuse myself for. Like I actually have to do this now. I actually have to take a leap of faith. I actually have to quit my job because I'm literally at rock bottom and I can't even wake up to go to work because I'm so miserable. Oftentimes, we have to have our backs up against the wall in order for us to really be brave enough to shift into a new timeline. Dr. Joe Despenza, one of my favorite people on the planet, always says, why would you wait till crisis to make a change when you can make a change when you're in a semi good state or a

neutral state or a positive state? Why do you have to wait till crisis? You don't have to wait till crisis. You don't have to wait until shit hits the fan. You could actually do it now. Start today. Start right now. Start in a good high vibe state because that'll accelerate everything even more and it will make things a lot easier than you waiting for the last second to get your life together. It's a lot easier for me to work under severe pressure because the psychology around that is like I literally have no choice. There is no choice. I'm in like tunnel vision mode. I need to get this done because there are no other weighs out. There's no other options left. That's probably not the healthiest approach to getting things done. But I know for me when my back's up against the wall, it is like a bam, timeline

hop really fast because I'm like, I don't care what anyone has to say. I'm locking myself in a room until I get my work done. I'm locking myself in a room until I come out, living out my new dream. For me, it's a lot easier to get things moving when I have no other option. The whole thing that Joe Dispenza really reiterates, though, is this concept of not waiting until that moment where you're like panicking. It's about doing it now when you can do it and feel good about it and actually move from a place of calm confidence and actually move from a place of genuine ease and flow. A lot of the times also, I feel like we're waiting for motivation. Like we're waiting to wake up and be like, oh, I feel really motivated today. I feel ready to take on the world. Motivation often comes.

from taking action and building our own momentum within. Everything starts from within. Something I've really come to understand after a lot of trial and error and going through the emotions this year of like, why isn't shit happening? A lot of the times things happen when we create our own momentum. Now, what do I mean by that? You have to take small steps to build momentum to become motivated. Okay, motivation sometimes isn't just going to like knock on your door and show up and be like,

Hey, get up. Let's go for a run. Sometimes you just have to take a baby step and then take another step after that. And then it compounds into motivation. For example, when I was in London and it was gray outside and cold and I was kind of isolated and not feeling 100% myself, I woke up one day and snapped and I was like, I'm becoming a runner. Like I just need to run and clear my head and see what happens. I need to do something to shift up my life and shake up my routine. I ended up falling in love with the process of getting up early, going on runs,

listening to motivational music and podcasts, pumping myself up, getting myself energized, getting myself in a really clear positive mental state, vibrating higher because I was on these like dopamine runs and it just felt so good. I felt so confident, so good about myself. And it really did shift my timeline. I got myself to the point where I was motivated again. I had to get myself there through action. I had to wake up every day and create a new morning schedule for myself.

I had to force myself the first week to do this, but after I noticed how good I was feeling and how I was starting to actually love the new routine, and I started building momentum in my life, everything else around me started to shift. Everything started feeling lighter, easier, better, more in flow. I started to feel really, really, really good about myself, and I started to fall in love with the city again,

and I was really happy. I completely attribute that to building my own internal momentum through working out, through a new morning routine, through eating healthier and cleaner. I started drinking way more water. I was really taking care of my mind, body, soul to the best of my ability. And it really did shift me into a brand new timeline.

I also started meeting different people. I started meeting people in the running community. I started going to wellness things. I started attracting new people and new opportunities and new experiences around me because I had shifted into a new identity. And that was because of my own decision making and my own action.

So sometimes you have to take action to build motivation, to get yourself motivated and to get yourself on the new timeline. The next thing is a lot of the times we're addicted to fantasy versus what's actually going on in our reality. We're addicted to the fantasy and like thinking and daydreaming about our future self versus actually taking steps to get there. I daydream so much. I always am thinking of new ideas. I'm always thinking about the what ifs of like me and someone else. It's just me. And it's something that I love about myself.

Being in your divine feminine energy also comes with being a daydreamer and just thinking of these whimsical fantasies. And I think it makes life special when you're fantasizing about really good things. It makes life so magical. And it's a good thing, okay? It's a positive thing. However, when it comes to fantasizing too much and not taking any action, that's when things start to get a little tricky because it's like, when are you actually going to do it? You know what I mean? Like, when are you actually going to take the leap of faith and do it?

You can fantasize for the rest of your life, for the rest of time, in bed, just laying there, dreaming about your future timeline. But at some point, you need to, like, get going. You need to get the ball rolling. And I think that's something that I used to do a lot more. I would think about the version that I wanted to be. And I would make vision boards and I would journal on it. And I would replay it in my mind over and over.

But I didn't do anything about it. So moving forward, it's important to actually. take the steps after you fantasize. After you daydream, you actually have to do something about it. But I don't want you to like force it. I just want you to understand the concept of actually taking action because you have to take inspired action to get what you want in this life. You cannot expect everything to just magically drop into your lap if you're trying to build

something big for yourself. If you're trying to manifest very big things in your life, you're not just going to get it by doing nothing. You have to take inspired action. Now what is inspired action? It's action that feels enjoyable to you. moves you towards the goal, that moves you towards the manifestation. It's simply about working in a flow state.

You're moving towards what you want and you are taking action but it doesn't really feel like work because you're so happy while doing it. And I think it's kind of scary to step outside of the fantasy and step into the physical reality of like actually starting to work towards your dream because then it's not a fantasy anymore. Because fantasy and living in fantasy is fun. It's so fun. So when we step outside of that, it could feel a little bit overwhelming.

and intense and we're like, oh my God, we actually have to do something now about it. Like we actually have to take action if we really want it. And that can feel unfamiliar and a little bit intimidating. And that's normal. But my point here is, okay, if you fantasize a lot, if you daydream, that's beautiful. And I love that for you and I love that for me too. But if you really want to see changes show up in your physical reality, you gotta get moving on those fantasies.

You have to do something about them. Something else that I've been thinking about a lot is this concept of fear and how often when something feels scary, we instantly think it means don't do it, or we run away from it or we're like, okay, we should stop this. This isn't going to work. But fear is actually very sacred and fear is actually something that can be turned into a beautiful thing. We can alchemize fear into creativity and fuel. Fear is just something that we often feel when we're shifting identities, when we're upgrading, when we're upleveling. And it's okay. It's okay to feel the fear, but move through it. Oftentimes when we move through the fear, blessings are on the other side.

new experiences and opportunities and doors open on the other side of fear fear can lead to rapid expansion when we reframe our fears as expansion and we're like oh this feeling just means we're upgrading and up-leveling that's when things get good that's when doors open that's when we unlock the new timeline if it scares you that's a good thing if it scares you that means you're on to the next level of your life this is my biggest piece of advice for you if you're looking to really expand and become a totally different version of you and unlock your higher self. Life responds to movement and how much you're willing to move and shake and go through the tunnel of fear or hardship or struggle, it responds to movement. And the more you take action, you'll start to see what sticks. You'll start to see what is actually meant for you. Every step you take is trial and error. Some things won't work. Some things will. But if you're just moving and flowing through life and trusting your intuition and the divine plan that God has for you, things will move for you. Things will move for you. Things will happen. I want you to get out of your own head. Don't wait for things to be perfect. Don't wait for

circumstances to be absolutely perfect until you move. Listen to your intuition. Trust yourself. Understand that every time you move towards your dream, towards your higher self, even if it's a baby step, it matters. It compounds. It really does count. And the last thing I'll leave you with is something that's really important and it's something I've been reflecting on a lot. Nobody fucking cares what you're doing. You care the most about what you're doing. And you get in your head a lot because of this and you think, oh, if I post this, I look stupid, I'm embarrassed, it's cringe. No one really fucking cares, okay? Everyone's focused on themselves the most.

And if they do care, they don't have enough that they're working on. And that's on them, not on you. You have to become your own best cheerleader, your own biggest fan, and bet on yourself. It is time to bet on yourself and not care or give a fuck what anyone else's perception of you is, okay? Nobody cares. So just move, do the thing, do what you want to do, live out your dreams, take. the risk, take bold action. It's safe to be you. It's safe to take the risk. It's safe to put yourself

out there. It's safe to bet on yourself. If people are judging you or watching you or analyzing your content, your family, friends, the people closest to you and you're like, oh my God, I don't want to be seen. And this insecurity creeps up. It's on them that they have that much time to invest in you. And take it as a compliment, okay, be like, okay, they're watching my stuff. They're investing in me. They have time to watch me, critique me, analyze my content, make fun of me, whatever they're That's on them. I'm here to build a legacy. I'm here to build my future dream life.

I'm here to make power moves. And the right people that support those moves, the right people that see my content and support it and share it and love it. Those are the people I'm supposed to have in my life, not the people that are judging me, not the people that are criticizing me. Those people are irrelevant anyway.

They're not supposed to come with you to the new timeline. And with that being said, that concludes today's episode of LIS. Thank you, thank you, thank you. So much as always for listening to the episodes. It really means the world to me. If this resonated with you, if this was motivational for you, drop a comment on Spotify,

as well as send me a DM on Instagram at LIS, L-Y-S-S. And if you love this episode, also be sure to share it with a friend. It really does help the show grow. And be sure to check out my new masterclass. It's called Manifest Overnight. It is a manifestation masterclass designed to help you manifest at lightning speed as fast as fucking possible. I'm so excited for all of you to dive into this masterclass. It's definitely my favorite I've ever recorded so far. I love you guys so much. I appreciate you you mean the world to me all your likes shares support really really really doesn't go unnoticed thanks for listening as always stay tuned for future episodes