Date Yourself Instead - THE FALL RESET: become unrecognizable before 2027

Episode Date: September 22, 2026

you don’t need a new life. you need new standards, new habits, and the discipline to stop returning to the version of you that you’ve already outgrown.contact - [e-mail]

Fall makes me want to change my entire life. So let's get into it. The fall reset. I am so excited. It's really chilly in New York today. I went downstairs wearing a tank top. A girl in the elevator was like, girl, you need to go get a sweater.

You're going to be cold. I ran back upstairs, got my sweater. I'm feeling very cozy, very fall. I'm really excited to dive into what I'm doing to reset my entire life this fall. The beauty about a reset is that it all. comes down to your routine once you master having a new routine your new identity will follow overall when you change your routine and you change your habits your identity will naturally start to shift if you're ready to make a commitment to glowing up to resetting and to feeling amazing this fall keep watching this because this is a good one

number one is protecting your mornings you are not waking up and scrolling you are not waking up texting a million people leaking your energy everywhere thinking about the past thinking about what happened to you six weeks ago thinking about how your ex betrayed you you're locking in the second you open your eyes the first few hours of your morning are about you and feeling productive and feeling good feeling happy and feeling confident i literally will wake up and make sure my phone is on airplane mode i have set aside the first hour or two especially to really get clear on what my goals are for the day how i'm going to stay organized throughout the day i have a planner i have a list of things i need to do i feel like writing list is super helpful to organize your brain and to actually physically check off every single thing that

you do. Physically writing everything versus using your phone or your notes app is so much more healthy. You just feel so much better when you get something done and you like physically cross it off. Instead of leaking your precious golden life force everywhere, I want you to get clear in your goals first thing in the morning. Sometimes I will meditate. Sometimes I will just center my energy. I will do breathing techniques and literally just be like, okay, this is how I want my day to go. I want to feel good. I want to feel confident.

I visualize my future self. This is actually something new that I've been doing because I tended to think about things that were not really benefiting my future self when I would wake up or I would be consuming content early in the morning. That's not so great for your brain. The whole point of really protecting your mornings and making your mornings sacred and forewerect.

you is so you prep your brain for the rest of the day and for the rest of the week. Your brain is really, really sensitive to information. If you're constantly giving your attention to a million things first thing when you wake up, you're going to feel very scattered and your energy is going to feel very all over the place. Just grounding myself first thing in the morning, listening to some calm fall jazz music, making my coffee, making my breakfast and just really centering my energy has been such a big game changer. The next thing is setting clear boundaries for yourself. Moving into this chapter and this season of your life, if you want to protect your peace and feel different and feel really good about yourself,

you have to know what your boundaries are. You have to be clear about them and you can't waver from them. I made a list of everything that I would and wouldn't tolerate moving forward in my life. This shifted my brain so much to the point where a lot of people dropped off the map. I stopped talking to a lot of people. I centered my energy and realized that I had been giving my energy away so freely to people that really didn't deserve access to me. I also had an issue with feeling guilty, especially towards my parents, which I don't know why, because they give me the freedom to do whatever I want. But I had this like trapped guilt if I said no to them or I didn't want to pick up the phone every single time they called me. I got like this wave of guilt. And that was something I also had

a work on because boundaries can apply to any type of relationship in your life. It could apply to friendships, work relationships, family members, friends, anything, right? It's this concept of really knowing yourself so deeply and being clear on your boundaries to the point where you don't feel guilty saying no. You don't feel guilty protecting your energy if you need a day of rest to just be by yourself or if you don't want to do something, if you don't want to drink, if you don't want to socialize, or you stop tolerating certain behaviors from certain people. You stop feeling the need to answer people right away or say yes just because you don't want to. you feel bad, right?

You got to get rid of all those feelings. We're clearing out any of those lingering feelings of guilt, people pleasing. That is actually taking away from your life force. That's taking away from your energy and from who you are and your authenticity. The more you stay true to who you are and what you actually really want at your core and how you feel at your core, the better you're going to feel and the more confident you're going to feel and the more sure of yourself you're going to feel. If you're constantly the type of person who feels guilty for saying yes,

or no, depending on what it is, take this time to really get clear on what you actually really feel and then work towards sticking to that. And staying true to yourself and staying true to your heart, the more I've been able to set these clear boundaries for myself, the more confident I feel in my skin and the more sure I feel about the moves that I'm making and the more confident I feel about who I am. The beauty about that is you will always attract better opportunities and people and relationships and situations when you were operating as the most authentic version of you. The next thing I've been doing that's been such a game changer is walking everywhere. Walking instead of forcing myself to do really high intensity workouts, I used to do

Pilates like five times a week. Okay, I'm not even exaggerating. Don't get me wrong. I did feel really, really strong doing Pilates and I still love it and I'll still do it and always incorporate it. The irony of it was it was actually making me more inflamed and I felt really exhausted and burned out. This is because I wasn't listening to what my body actually craved, which was low impact movement, hydration, just being calm and regulated. I think if you're working out out of survival, meaning you're working out to get rid of an emotion, although it could be good to release energy, it's actually really powerful when you're working out from a place of just really wanting to honestly. your body and love your body instead of being like oh I need to run to lose weight I need to run to look a certain way I need to work out so I feel confident true confidence comes from within when you feel confident before the workout and you know

you're doing it just to honor your strength and honor your body it's coming from such a different feeling and a lot of the times I would be holding on to all this stuck energy in my body and I would work out and feel like I looked even more bloated Now I feel like I've cracked the code on this. I attribute that bloat and that inflammation to one, doing really intense training out of anger or frustration or stress. And the other thing being I was working out to get rid of a feeling instead of working out to just honor my body. I wasn't actually addressing the fact that I was emotionally dysregulated. When you come from a place of being healed and regulated and grounded, you're not going to feel the need and the desperation

to be like so intense and overdoing your workouts. So what I've been doing is walking everywhere and listening to something uplifting, motivating, a calming podcast, calming meditations. And I've just really been chilling out on the intense workouts. Does it mean I'm never going to do that again? No, but this is a season of my life where I'm trying to just like really regulate myself

and feel calm and feel peaceful. Walking has really made me feel my best. I still do weight train, but for the majority of the time, I'm walking everywhere, and it's made me feel really peaceful. I've also noticed a difference in my body, and I'm less inflamed. Fine what works for you, but this is my experience, and maybe it will resonate with some of you. The next thing is getting really serious about getting good quality sleep. There was a period of my life where I was so stressed out that I was taking sleeping pills.

That was not healthy for me at all, and it was actually messing up my sleep sight. because if I didn't take a sleeping pill, then I couldn't sleep at all. And I was having insomnia and I was having all these like weird dreams. It was just really bizarre. It was a really weird period of time. Something I've been doing now is breathwork before bed and really getting into my body and breathing myself into a deep sleep. I've just found breathwork meditations on YouTube. That's been a big game changer for me.

And I've been prioritizing getting off my phone at night, putting my phone back on airplane mode, and really prioritizing my sleep. my sleep as a sacred period of time where I am not overstimulated, I am not scrolling, I'm not consuming other people's stuff, I'm not on a screen. Last night, for example, it was a Friday night. I got into bed, I lit a candle. I feel like being in a dimlit room helps your brain wind down a lot, so I light a candle, I turn off all the lights. It's like this nice, glowy atmosphere. I just watched a rom-com and I wasn't worried about anyone messaging me. I wasn't worried about my emails. I wasn't checking my social media. I was offline in my own little bubble watching a rom-com. That's my version of winding down and regulating myself so I could just spend some quality time with me and eventually drift off into sleep. I also have been taking magnesium, which has helped me so much, just some natural supplements. And sometimes I'll have a tea or hot water before I fall asleep and that has really, really helped. The next thing is cleaning out.

your external world cleaning out your phone cleaning out your files old videos old content that has just been sitting there for months or years or whatever it is cleaning out old contacts of people you know you are probably never going to interact with again it might sound a little harsh but like I am so big on decluttering my external world to feel really good within it just makes me feel simple it simplifies my brain it just allows me to feel free because I'm cleaning out the old in order to let in the new. This is something I do every six months.

I monitor what's going on in my life. I clean out old conversations. I clean out old timelines. I clean out my closet. I clean out my makeup bags. I go through everything. I go through my cabinets, my drawers, my suitcases. I do it all and I really get serious about what I need

moving into the next chapter of my life and what I don't need. It's so therapeutic. You'll find that you really don't need that much to be functional and to be happy. I think that really applies to one of the videos I recently posted called The Power of Needing Nothing. Needing nothing really has given me so much joy because I'm not stressing about consumption and like I need the next this and I need the next that. I need a relationship or I need money. You don't actually need that much to be happy if you're truly happy. I love things. I love makeup. I love doing my hair. I love getting my nails done. I love like the simple, girly things, of course, but there was

such a huge period of my life for me where I was constantly chasing the next best thing, thinking that was going to change my internal state and my happiness, and it never did. And I've done a lot in my life. I'm very blessed. I've traveled the world. I've met amazing people. I've been in multiple romantic relationships. I've had amazing friendships. I've made a lot of money. I've pretty much done at all. And I can tell you that if you don't master yourself, if you really don't master your internal state, no matter what you get or no matter what you experience, no matter where you are in the world, no matter how many amazing things you achieve, you're always going to feel the same unless you really dig deep and understand that true happiness does really come from within. Like,

it really does. And I know that's such a cheesy, overused thing to say, but I've really only grasped what that really means in my 30s. The beauty of getting to that headspace where you're like, I don't need any of this, but it would be nice. And when you feel kind of neutral about it, that's when the magic happens. That's when everything starts to rush into your life

and all the blessings can manifest because you're not holding on to anything. You're not desperately trying to gain something out of the universe. You're just allowing it to come to you because you're grateful, you're calm, and you're regulated. And that's the point of life

where I'm at now where I'm like, I'm actually really okay, regardless of what happens. I know I'm always going to be okay and I'm good. And I'm just grateful that I've been able to live such a blessed life. And that's it. The next thing is romanticizing your life without needing to make a performance out of it or show people that you love yourself in your life. You don't always need to share everything with everyone or post everything online. Of course, if you want to upload hot pictures of yourself on Instagram, I'm all for that.

I love a good carousel of me living my best life. but you should be posting it for you and not for anyone else and needing people to validate how amazing your life is. I think when you post from a place of I just want to document this, this is what makes me happy and this is me just expressing myself. It's a totally different energy than posting for the sake of I need attention. I need this guy to see me looking hot. I need people to think I'm cool.

Like I need people to know that I was in Hawaii living my best life. Like, no, you're posting for you. I've actually been taking a lot of time off of Instagram, really just to ground myself. I was one of the first Instagram creators ever on the platform. I just needed a break because I was like, what am I posting for? Who am I posting for and what am I posting for? How can I use this platform moving forward in a way that makes sense for me and not for anyone else? Like, I don't want to have to upkeep a certain image or a game for anyone else.

What is the meaning behind what I'm doing, right? and being more intentional about what you're sharing and knowing that it's for your joy and for your happiness and documenting things because you want to and not to like prove something to your community or other people, that's really the sweet spot to be in because then you're posting and you're not even really caring what feedback is, how many likes you're getting, you're not caring about engagement. It's just for you. And the last thing I'm going to leave you with is pick one new thing, one new hobby, one new goal and work on a new skill. You're brain loves to learn. Your brain is happiest when it's learning. Moving into this fall, I'm like, what is one thing I can get really good at that's new. That's going to get me up in the morning and get me excited to wake up and like do something with my time. That's new. That's refreshing. And that can reward my brain. I've been dabbling in songwriting and journaling and coloring and all these cute little creative things. There's a few things that I'm going to be working on into the fall and into the new year and maybe forever, I don't know. One is YouTube, two is music. Three is trying to find a place to ride

horses. If anyone can recommend any places in New York, let me know. I used to horseback ride when I was younger and then I stopped. I just miss it so much. I feel like there are more places in England. I still miss London a lot. I was living in London for a while. I feel like I want to move back again. I'm like, am I crazy? I just made a whole podcast about how I'm back in New York and I'm like, I miss London because I want a horseback ride and be in the countryside. I really do hope. that my husband is English so we can go back and forth. My ideal dream life is New York London, New York London. Oh, so good. And Bali. I love Bali. For those of you listen to my podcast, I talk about Bali like every episode and people are like, we get it. Girl, shut up.

The last thing that I'm working on is speaking a new language because I only really speak English, but I'm Italian. Knowing Italian would just make me feel closer to my roots and my heritage. So, Yeah, pick at least one thing. One thing that's new for you and go for it. Include it in your weekly routine. Do something different. Change it up. And with that being said, that concludes this video.

Thank you guys, as always, for watching the video, supporting the YouTube channel. If you haven't already, be sure to subscribe, leave a comment. I read everything. I love you guys. Happy fall. Have an amazing day and stay tuned for future videos. Bye.