Date Yourself Instead - the power of letting go.

Episode Date: September 23, 2026

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The reason we struggle to let go is because we're afraid that there's nothing waiting on the other side for us. There's not going to be a better relationship. There's not going to be a better job opportunity. There's not going to be a better timeline for us to jump towards. We stay in fear. We stay in lack. We forget how powerful we are and we lower ourselves to hold onto something or someone, whether it be a toxic relationship, whether it be a business relationship you know isn't right for you.

keep in contact with family that doesn't have your best interest, holding onto a job that is draining you. It could literally be anything. This applies to anything. If you found this video, welcome, you're here for a reason. My name is List. I talk a lot about self-development, self-love, and I tie in a lot of my own personal experiences

because I feel like I've lived a thousand lives. Today we're going to be talking about this concept of the power of letting go because I have been there so many times where I've gripped on to something, usually a relationship that wasn't serving my highest self. It was out of fear that I would never feel better. Or it was out of fear that I wasn't going to find a better relationship or a better person for me. What I can tell you right now is that it is so much better to be in solitude and peace and have a regulated nervous system and love your life,

then spend your time with someone or in a partnership where it's draining you and your precious golden life. I talk about life force a lot. We tend to give our life force, which is the power within us, that creative fire and that energy and passion within us, away to the wrong people and the wrong situations all the time. It's a very common experience. And that's why I wanted to make this video because I've been doing a lot of deep inner work on myself recently. I knew that I was going to share parts of the experience online because it was so beneficial to me and I know it's going to help you guys as well. I held on to to the idea of a what if with someone for so long. Now let me explain this. I was in love with the fantasy of what could have been with someone and attached to the idea of what could have been with someone because I saw the potential early on, but we went our separate ways.

Things just never aligned timing wise. I struggled with meeting people, putting myself out there, being open with people because I was always in the back of my mind, thinking about, oh, but what about this person? The connection was the best thing I've ever had and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We get so caught up in the what if and the fantasy and the potential of a situation more oftentimes than not. Oh, maybe this will change. Maybe in a couple of months, things will change. Or maybe in a year, things will change and I just need to ride it out and wait it out. And this doesn't mean just let go and leave someone if there's a small mishap in your relationship

or there's a little bump in the road. I'm talking about the people that aren't giving you what you deserve, point blank. I'm talking about the environments and the jobs that are draining you nonstop 24-7 and you feel like you're not the best version of yourself. I'm talking about the situations where you're losing yourself. If you're losing your identity and yourself and your power in a situation, it is not in alignment for you, period. That is why the power of letting go will change everything.

When you learn how to let go of things that aren't in your best interests and that aren't fueling that life force, you will open the door to so many new things and new creative outlets and ideas and inspiration and new people and new connections and a new timeline where you feel like the best version of yourself, where you get your energy back, where you get your confidence back with this situation that I was in with this what if person. It lasted years. Okay, it wasn't like a couple of weeks. It was this on and off gut wrenching feeling where any time I would have a second, I would replace stuff in my head thinking I could have done something different. It was getting kind of crazy because I wanted to let go so badly, but it almost felt like my soul was not allowing me to do so. Whenever I would explain it to people, I was trying to verbalize how I felt and I couldn't explain it other than,

I felt like my soul was tied to this person. No matter how many cord cutting meditations I did, no matter how many healing sessions I did, no matter what I did, it felt like this person was embodied in my soul. And I cracked the frickin' code. I cracked the code on how to let go. It was never about him.

I always said that I felt this certain way around this person that felt so different. I felt like the best version of myself when I was with them. What I learned is that you can give that feeling to yourself. What that experience taught me is that you could actually give that feeling to yourself. You can actually feel that good and feel that amazing without another person. Now, how do you do that? You have to be willing to completely burn down your old identity.

And a lot of that comes with a deep commitment to your future self, An understanding that your future self is the only new self that matters. You cannot replay the past. You cannot think about what happened to you. You have to power towards your new self. It's easier said than done. A lot of people don't want to do that type of inner work to let go. But it's actually a way easier decision to make than people make it out to be.

It feels hard in the moment. It almost feels like, am I making the right decision? What am I doing? If I let go, I'm in the unknown, and that's terrifying. It is a little bit scary to do, but once you get over that unknown period of your life, you will thank yourself a million times for walking away from whatever situation it was

when you did. A lot of the times we struggle with letting go also is this concept of needing to control the outcome and control what happens next in our life. If you were in love with someone and you're struggling to let go of them right now, it's like, you know them. And you're like, okay, if I know them, then I know that there's a chance that they could come back and it could work. If I see the potential in them and I know bits and pieces of their personality, I could see it working. And therefore, I should try harder.

The thing is, we don't know what we don't know. Sometimes not knowing the next step of your life is the biggest blessing. If we have the power to create and we have the power to reinvent ourselves at any time, you already know that that's not working right now. And the universe and God isn't allowing that to show up in your life the way you've been begging and pleading for. So why not let go and be open to infinite possibilities? Why not let go and say, you know what? I'm leaving this up to God now and I'm trusting in my divine plan.

And if it's truly meant to be, it'll end up working out. but I deserve to be happy now. I deserve to take my power back now. I deserve a beautiful life now. I shouldn't be waiting on a situation to change and to work out in my favor in order for me to be happy from within. You never know every single side to a story.

The only real power that knows the ending to your story is God and the universe and the higher realms, okay? It's up to you to trust in the unknown sometimes because the unknown can sometimes give us a situation that is a million, but a trillion times greater and more beautiful and more amazing and healthy and joyful and incredible than we could have ever imagined. It could be the most perfect soulmate partner for you. And meanwhile, you're clinging on to someone that's not even texting you back right now.

Okay. It could be a new career opportunity that sets you on a totally different life path that you never would have expected going on. But the reason you're able to get to this next chapter is because you were brave enough to let go of the old, let go of the old story, let go of the old timelines. If they're not serving you, if you're not happy, you really have nothing to lose.

If you're not your best self, wouldn't it be better to take the risk to change that now and catapult into the next timeline of your life? when I look back at how broken I felt and now how grounded I feel, the next chapter was about coming home to myself. That was the next step before I do meet the love of my life and get married, because sometimes we need to prepare ourselves for things and I thought I was ready, but I wasn't. I wasn't. If I had met the love of my life in that broken state that I was in, I would have brought them down. because I know that that person is the most amazing human being ever and if I had gone into a partnership with someone like that, I would have probably been Debbie Birken Downer and drained their life force. And we don't want that. Right. When you go into a new love, you want to come together and fuel each other. You want to make each other's lives better. I would never want to bring my trauma and baggage and everything that comes with me into a relationship moving forward. That's

not fair to the other person. We're all human and, you know, we all go through things, of course, and there's going to be times that aren't perfect. But I know if I have the power to choose how the rest of my love life plays out, it's going to be from a place of groundedness, of wholeness, of being emotionally regulated and attracting from a place of joy, of happiness. I'm going to tell you right now, the more you replay a situation in your head trying to change the outcome, that is creating insane resistance in your life in general. It's holding you back. Have you ever heard those stories where someone breaks up with someone or leaves a situation

that wasn't a line for them? And then they had a major glow up. That's because they were brave enough to step into the new chapter and let go of the old. Sometimes when we're clinging on to the past, it is literally energetically blocking us from being the greatest versions of ourselves. And there came a point in my life where I was like, if I'm serious about love, if I'm serious about making a lot of money, if I'm serious about my life and I really take my power back, that requires letting go and leaving behind everything that I used to do, all of my old habits. It requires starting from zero. And that's a commitment.

I also thought that I needed closure, which I'm going to make another video about, how to get close. with yourself. You don't need closure from that person. Although it would be nice and I get it to our ego, it's very satisfying to get closure. You can give yourself the closure. The closure is in them not choosing you back. The closure is in them disrespecting you. The closure is in the universe, not allowing it to work at this moment. Does it mean it's never going to happen? No, okay? I'm not going to predict your future for you, but I will say if something is creating so much tension and unhappiness in your current present moment, something needs to change. Nothing is going to change if you keep repeating the same thing with this person, the same story, the same narrative, trying to understand why things happen

the way they did, or trying to understand and pick apart what happened with your friends, that is not going to help you at all. Stop dating the potential of someone. Stop forcing a situation that's never meant to be forced. Your soulmate would choose you. Your soulmate would choose you. mate would be with you. This is so funny because I used to go to my dad for advice and like call him all the time because I was really going through it at the time. And he was like, trust me if that person wanted to be with you and he was thinking about you, the way that you're thinking about him, he would pick up the phone and call you and make it work. Guys are simple. I mean, there are, of course, I'm not going to over generalize here, but for the most part, it's simple. Love is in

this back and forth up and down. It should be simple. Everyone has a different story, but I know that the story I'm choosing now is that the right person for me shows up and chooses me. They choose me. It's simple. It's easy on my nervous system. If it's not, if it's games, if it's questioning, if it's confusing, if it gives me anxiety, we're not doing that. It's just not worth it. When you become so grounded in yourself, you can't go back to the old ways of up and down relationship dynamics. It's just not sustainable. Are you willing to let go of who you used to be to discover a brand new version of yourself? That's the question I want you to ask yourself. Are you truly ready for that commitment? This is why I'm also creating my new master class called The rebrand. It is all about committing to

the future self, committing to the new you. Another question I need you to ask yourself. is if nobody expected anything from me right now, who would I be? If I wasn't people pleasing everyone and doing things for other people and worrying about this person and worrying about my ex, if I had nothing going on around me and I was starting as a blank slate, who would I be? What would I be doing? What would my purpose be? What would my path be? Where would I be living? What would I look like? How would I speak? How would I dress? How would I act? Free yourself. Free yourself. Free yourself from the chains of other people and old garbage relationships. Free yourself from the people who don't appreciate you, the way that you appreciate them.

Free your mind, free your heart, free your soul. Freedom of your soul means you're living for you. You're living for you and your future self. You're not hung up on BS. All it takes is that decision to be like, I'm done and I deserve better and I deserve a brand new life for myself where I'm freaking happy. It takes that decision and a commitment to that decision and you have to feel it in your body energetically. It can't just be like verbally, oh yeah, I'm going to do this and then you go back to your old ways. That's what I used to do. And that's

why nothing ever changed. And that's why I was miserable because I was like, why isn't anything changing? Why aren't I meeting someone? What's going on? Why am I still unhappy? I wasn't actually energetically committing to it. I was just saying things. And I was living in constant, and fear. You got to lock in on your future and be like, no, this is what's happening now and there's no turning back. I am never entertaining this garbage again that brought me down. Your happiness is the priority and your freedom is the priority. It's a no-brainer once you make the decision. You're like, why didn't I do this sooner? But the thing is, everything happens in divine timing and everything happens when your soul is really ready. Maybe the fact that you saw this video,

it's the first step. It's the first step towards creating that brand new life of yourself and truly letting go of the old. So the last thing I'm going to leave you with is let yourself not know what's going to happen next, but be brave enough to trust that it's going to be a million times better than you ever could have imagined. The second something requires you to lose yourself in order for you to keep it, you have no problem walking away. You have no problem walking away because nothing is worth losing you and how amazing you are. and how incredible you are. And with that being said, that concludes this video. I'm going to go for my morning walk and get another coffee.

I love you guys. If you haven't already, be sure to subscribe to the channel. Leave a comment if you enjoyed this video. Get ready for the master class. Get ready for everything that's coming very soon. I'm really excited about it. Get ready for the rebrand, guys. The rebrand is coming and it's going to be the most amazing,

life-changing masterclass that you've ever taken. I can guarantee you that. I hope you have an amazing day and stay tuned for future videos. Bye!