Date Yourself Instead - your energy is expensive. act like it.

Episode Date: October 1, 2026

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When your life feels boring and empty access to you is cheap. People think they just have a free pass because you're allowing them to have a free pass. If you don't love the life that you've created for yourself that you've built for yourself and you truly don't love yourself to the absolute freaking fullest, people are just going to think they have a free ride and ride on your coat tails, ride on that magic carpet that isn't so magical because you haven't declared your boundaries and you haven't created a life that you truly love for yourself. When you truly love the life that you've built for yourself and you have a purpose

and you have a mission and you have a goal and you have a plan and you have things to do and people to see and events to go to and parties to party at, you're not going to allow just anyone into your space because you know your value so deeply to the point of no return. Once you get this feeling of unshakable confidence and love within yourself and you love the life that you've built for yourself and you know what it took to get there, which was a lot of inner work and a lot of commitment to yourself, you're not going to allow anyone to access your field unless they're a high caliber good person. I'm a super empathetic person. I love so deeply. Whenever I would get into a relationship, it was like a free ride for the person that I was with half the time. Some of my boyfriends were nice, but some of them really did take advantage of my energy because I was in a vulnerable position when I met them. And I was coming from a place of I need someone to make me feel that

feeling of love. So I would enter these relationships with people and tolerate BS with so many people because I didn't value my own life the way that I should have. I put them on the pedestal. I thought I was lucky and so lucky to be in their presence, but in reality it was always draining my aura even more. I didn't pay attention to the signs because I was insecure. When you truly understand the concept of self-love and building a world around you that feels solid and amazing and abundant

and empowering and filled with miracles, and you wake up loving your life without anyone else around, you know for a fact you don't need someone else to complete you, you're going to naturally attract amazing people. You're going to start attracting more money, more abundance, more opportunities that align with the highest caliber version of you. So if you're going through a season right now where you feel alone or you feel like you've given your power to someone

and you're feeling drained from a relationship or something that's really been not so great for you, there is nothing to fear because this is your starting point now, where you can just be like, listen, I am starting over, but this is a good thing. This is a positive thing for me because I'm going to build myself so strong and love myself so much and learn how to sit with my own energy and be obsessed with myself and my life. No one can take that away from me. No one can take your life away from you unless you give them permission to.

We often enter relationships from a place of insecurity and need or like searching for someone. And what ends up happening is we enter from a place of life. And that's how toxic relationships form in the first place. You think it's good in the beginning because you get all those dopamine feelings and that chemical rush because like you like the person. But you're not healing the root within before you enter the relationship. So then you end up in a toxic cycle. The key is also just being so grateful.

I have so much to be grateful for that if someone comes into my field and is trying to mess with me, you're trying to get into my world and they're not well-intentioned or they just don't see my value for what it is. I'm like, nope, nope. Like, I have no issue letting go now. Because I'm like, I know that I deserve the best to the best because I love myself. The beauty about being in this energy also is that you have such strong intuition. Women have like the best intuition ever. I don't know who's watching this. If it's man, women, whatever, it doesn't matter. We're energetic beings. We all have good intuition. But women especially have like witchy, insane intuition. When we get really in our feminine and

tap in and tap deeply into our heart with no outer junk or distractions distracting us, we have the power to know what is truly right for us. I hear it all the time. I was talking to someone yesterday about this, where women are like, I knew it from day one that something was off. I knew this person wasn't the right person for me, but I got attached and I stayed and I tried to stick it out and other people were convincing me that it was fine. They were gaslighting me and telling me that nothing was wrong. You always know. You always know. You always know deep down your soul is always speaking to you you just have to learn how to listen to it when you truly truly truly love yourself to the point of no return and you're like i know what i deserve and there's

nothing that's going to get in my field that's beneath that frequency you listen to your intuition more than ever that's the answer always nothing logically can convince you out of it when i was seeing someone recently which i ended it immediately because i was like this just isn't going to work when he said he really me, but my gut was saying that something was weird and something was up and he has a lot of internal issues he needs to work through. I wasn't like, let me just sit there and hope for the best and maybe things will change and maybe he'll soften up and maybe he won't have a fear of commitment and like he'll like me. I didn't do that. I used to do that. But I didn't do that this time. I was like, I love myself enough to understand that it's time to walk away now and save myself the heartbreak. in two years from now when I'm a mess because I got myself involved with someone that wasn't on the same page as me. It's so much easier to honor your truth and yourself when you build the life that you love.

When you build yourself up, when you work so deeply at creating this inner world of peace and love that nothing can shake you. Nothing can shake you. So how expensive is access to you right now? How expensive is access to your field and your energy? Because your energy is the most sacred, precious thing in the world. Your energy is everything. Your energy is your biggest currency. Who are you allowing access into your field that doesn't belong there?

Who's draining your life force right now? Be freaking for real. You're not going to be able to curate the life that you love if you're around people who don't deserve access to you because they're going to siphon your energy. They're going to take from your energy. The right people around you will bring that spark up within you to create, to love, to grow, to expand. You're going to feel it. You're

going to feel excited and happy around the people that are meant for you. You're not going to be crying. You're not going to be screenshotsing their messages and sending it to a bunch of people. You're not going to be replaying conversations in your head. You're not going to be questioning yourself a million times. You're just going to feel good. That's how easy it is. You're just going to feel amazing. There was a guy that I met while I was in Bali. And the second I saw him, I was like, he's so hot. I was drawn to his energy and over time I got to know him and we just like became friends. But every time I'm around him, I have the biggest smile on my face.

And he's like, you're always smiling and I'm like, I think it's like when I'm around you. I smile a lot when I'm with him and I was like, huh. I used to get really nervous around people. But with him it's like and I just smile and on myself. That's the difference. You'll just be happy. It's like really not that difficult when you meet those people because then you're like, what was I doing hanging on to that relationship that was draining the freaking life force out of me for five years?

What was I even thinking? Now, it takes time to get to this place. Okay? It takes time. It took me over two years to feel somewhat stable and normal again after my last heartbreak. It's a learning process and healing sometimes does take time. I don't want to be unrealistic and be like, yeah, just like wake up and be happy and that's it. It's not all butterflies and rainbows in the beginning when you're going through grief.

or you're going through a breakup. It's not. I was not okay. I was very not okay for a while. I had to put on my best face for the podcast and I had to do what I had to do. But oh my God, like you can see the difference in my energy now versus a year ago. I was doing everything I could to help other people, but I wasn't helping myself at all. I was ignoring it. I was like, I just have to get my work done. I just have to record an episode. I just have to be there for people. Instead of being there for myself, when I took a long break from the podcast, I really took a second to sit back and look within, write everything down, and understand where all this pain was. I was able to properly heal it. That's what you have to do. You have to face yourself in order to get to this level of high vibrations and smiling all the time and feeling good and joyful. And you're in a good mood even if it's pouring rain out. You're in a good mood even if you, have nothing going on today. You're in a good mood, regardless of the external world, telling you something. You're just okay all the time because you've healed what's inside of here.

Most people don't want to do that. Most people don't think they have the time to do that. But the thing is, if you took the time to do that, the rest of your life forever would be changed. If you took a few weeks to just take a step back from all of the things that have been hurting you and stressing you out and giving you anxiety and you focused inward and you committed to that you would realize that the rest of your life would be different. Like I know from this point forward the rest of my life is going to be different forever because I cracked the code on me. I cracked it.

I was so dependent on the external world to give me something, to give me my husband, to give me millions of dollars. I have to travel here. I have to be here. I have to do this thing. I have to buy this thing. I have to look good. I have to feel good.

It's all within here. It's all within here. There was no I need from the outside. I kind of think back to like the olden days. Let's say 195. I'm going to throw in a little Easter egg, I guess you could call it. You know how like Taylor Swift does this? Like Easter eggs.

I wrote a song called 1955. It's not, I'm not doing an Easter egg. I'll just tell you guys. The reason I think that song poured out of me was because there's a piece of me. I feel like I've lived many past lives. And like one of those past lives, I was so deeply in love in the 1950s. And that's when my grandparents, got married and fell in love and got married and they were soulmates. They were both born in July.

They were both cancers and they were like attached at the hip since they were teenagers. I think since they were 13 up until the day they both passed in their 80s. They did not leave each other's side for a second. If my grandpa went golfing with my dad, my grandpa would be like, I need to call her and like just make sure she's okay. My dad's like, you can spend a few hours off of your phone. You don't need to call her and check in. He's like, no, I do. I just love her. It was that love that I'm like, that's it for me. I'm not settling for anything less than that. My soulmate is gonna love me like that.

The whole point, sorry, maybe I'm going a little off tangent, but I just want to tie in a little personal story here because 1955, things were different then. Romance was alive, chivalry ain't dead. And I, I want to go back inside. Okay. I need to record it. to do music. I don't know if anyone's going to see this that works in the music industry that

knows an amazing producer in New York. Let me know because I need to get this music out and I don't know anyone really that lives here in the music industry. Anyways, let's get back to the topic of this video. How expensive is access to you? How expensive is it? Are you allowing people to take advantage of your energy? Are you allowing people into your life that don't deserve to be there? If you have the ability to wake up excited about your own life, there is a price on that. People don't just get a free pass to hang out with you and to be in your energy and get your coolness for nothing. I used to look at relationships completely wrong. I'd be like, do they like me? What's going on? When in reality, the question that you need to be asking yourself is, are they the right fit to be a part

of the life that I've built for myself? Are they worthy of being a part of my life? And it goes both ways, okay? It's not just a one-way street. I do believe that you should be complimenting each other. You just need to find the right people that know your worth, appreciate you and amplify that. And you're also amplifying them. Those relationships do exist. I've had it before. I've felt it before. I know what it feels like.

And I also know what it doesn't feel like. When I talk to certain people, I get a rush of energy. When I leave the conversation, I'm like, I feel great. I feel great. There are other people where I leave a conversation and I'm so tired that I need to go to bed. I went on a date with someone once in London. He was gorgeous. He looked like AI.

It was like kind of weird. Like I was looking at him and I was like, you're too hot to be out in the wild. And yet, when I left the conversation with him, I was exhausted. I was so drained. And I couldn't logically understand why because nothing happened. Like nothing bad happened.

We had a great conversation. My body was speaking to me. It was depleted. And I was like, something's not right because usually, if I'm really into someone and I'm attracted to them, I leave the date feeling excited and happy, right? That's how you should feel. And so I'm like, why am I so tired?

I went home and slept for 10 hours straight. I woke up feeling like that was weird and I just never saw him again because my body was speaking so loudly. My energy was being siphoned. It was kind of crazy. But the beauty of that is and the lesson in that is is that your body, when you're tapped in and you really know yourself, your body will speak to you and tell you who's right for you and who's not.

Physically, literally physically, if you're constantly feeling sick around someone, anxious, knots in your stomach, you're tired, you're having weird things happen to your body like breaking out. This is all happened to me. You're having gyneological issues. I used to get the worst gyna logical issues in my last relationship. The body will literally speak to you. The body will speak to you in physical ways when something isn't aligned. So just remember that.

As we're going through your healing process and some things come up, if something is bothering you physically in the body, just be like, this is just an emotional thing. And once I get to the root of it and heal myself, it's going to go away. Most physical things resolve when you heal your heart and you heal your mind, body, soul. Most, most things do. I'll leave you with this. You need to build a life that is more important than that guy that didn't text you back.

And the people that are not giving you what you deserve. The external world is going to distract you and throw you for curveballs and like try to take your energy from you, but you have to build something where all of your focus is on that and that mission. Once you start seeing major progress in your goals and your life, you don't want to stop from that. You don't want to pivot from that because you get excited about it and it's yours and it's something that someone can't take from you. When I started my social media career, I was so excited about it. that I was going through a breakup. I was dating someone for eight years, okay?

And I was like, okay, bye. It wasn't like losing that person could affect how much I loved myself. I was so good with me and so excited about my future that I wasn't harping on that breakup over and over and over again because I was so passionate about my own life and what I was building for myself. So that's really the key here and that's the point

of this whole video. It's like, what are you gonna do? Whatever it is, any passion, anything that you love, something that makes you feel good. What are you going to focus on? What is something that makes you feel so good that no one can take away from you? It can be getting a dog. It could be going for long walks and listening to your favorite podcast or really happy music. It can be painting. I saw this cute man painting in a cafe yesterday and I was like, oh my God, so wholesome. Like it could be anything that you want that makes you feel good. What feels good to you might not feel good to someone else. It's what makes you feel good.

Once you lock in on that, it's a lot easier to let go of things that aren't right for you. Period. It's a lot easier to let go of things that are not aligned for you. And with that being said, that concludes this video. Thank you so much as always for watching, listening, sharing. If you're sharing, commenting, I read everything. Thank you guys for being here. Thank you for sticking by me all the years of this podcast.

And my rebrand and everything, it means the world to me. I love you so much. be tuned for future videos. Bye.