D&D is For Nerds - Barovia III #21 The Dragonborn Who Kicked the Puppet's Nest

Episode Date: June 29, 2024

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Opens and then trying to lunge at you. It can't get close enough. And you just hear the spring trap snapping. Like a mouse trap. Yeah. I hate trap. Yeah. I hate that. Yeah, that's awful. The corpse, it's in a state in between living and death.

If you're able to reactivate it psychically, its every movement will be agony. Okay. Bigfoot Paul starts charging his way up onto the ramparts to help you fight the monster. Cool. It attacks Bigfoot Paul. Paul, what are you doing? Not Bigfoot Paul. His pen.

My power maul. All it takes. It's all it takes. A little uprising? Yeah, a little uprising that presses Pip's buttons. Bigfoot Paul takes 27 points of damage. Oh, fuck. Paul, no.

It slashes into his side. He doesn't make any... No, wait. Actually, Pip, you could see just a slight grimace on his face of pain, but only because you know him so well. Yeah, sure.

Otherwise, no one would have been able to notice. That was the monster's turn. A bunch of the rebels aim up. Anyone who has a ranged weapon fires at the monster, but they harmlessly bounce off. A bunch of the rebels aim up. Anyone who has a ranged weapon fires at the monster, but they harmlessly bounce off. These people cannot cause damage to it. It's Esme's turn.

Esme, from down below, is going to throw a ball of fire. Her bolt of flames, unfortunately, because she's got a bad angle, she does the same thing that Hector did, but on the other side. She burns away, she slags some of the stonework, but she doesn't otherwise do anything, unfortunately. Heck, it's your turn. Can I get up there, or can I

have a clear range? That's your turn. I'll dash up there. Okay. You dash up, you're standing next to Bigfoot Paul. He turns to you and just gives you a curt nod. It's just professionalism right now. Whether or not you have any shit with this guy, it's not important right now. My beef isn't with Paul.

I'm just a bystander. We've both been caught up in this guy's bullshit. Yeah. We're kindred spirits. Absolutely. Not as much as, say, like, I don't know, maybe him and Keeney. Yeah. No.

Hang on. We've all been betrayed much as, say, like, I don't know, maybe Hemingkini. No. Hang on. We've all been betrayed a bit, though. Yeah, no. A knowing look passes between the two of us, I feel. Van Richten pulls at his temple and drags from his temple a shard of pure thought, gives a little flip, and imagine he's pulling it. It's like a worm. But when he gives a little flick, it becomes like a dagger.

He throws that at the creature. It homes in on it and slams into the monster's head. The monster takes 3d6 psychic damage. He's doing it. 10 points of psychic damage. The creature

takes both of its claws, grabs its head, and then... Screams in pain. God damn. That was Van Richten's turn. Pip, it's your turn. It begins bleeding. Oh, no. I put it down, Adam.

Plug, plug. One of them is a critical hit, so this is very likely to be the end of this. Disarmed, double damage, and make a... Yeah, you kill it. All right. You put another one down. There's only an army left. Yeah, exactly.

Bigfoot Paul. Let me see your cheek, I say. I'd like to take Bigfoot Paul's head in my hands and just make sure he's okay. He hesitates, but then he turns and shows you his cheek. I know. He shows the other cheek. He turns the other cheek. He's the sort of Christ of this adventure.

Bigfoot Christ, you could call him. Oh, fuck me. That's good shit. Does he seem like maybe infected in any way? I don't know what these things are necessarily capable of. No, it doesn't seem infected. Okay, that's fine. I've got no healing magic.

I just wanted to check. Thanks, he says. Yeah, don't mention it. What's the situation here? We've just, yeah. Well, we haven't made any sort of attempt on the abattoir or church or whatever, but

Piran said he had Sheriff Stryker. We tried to keep it contained. We were supposed to be just a distraction, but got out of hand. The Burgermaster got involved. We weren't expecting that. The entire town turned against us. So we killed the Burg. The entire town turned against us.

So we killed the Purgemaster. Apparently you didn't. We didn't. Apparently you didn't. They're back? Okay. Where's Purin now? Last I heard, he was dealing with the Sheriff. Where's the Purgemaster? Purgemaster's leading the defense, but south here at the

fine end. Taverns among their last holdouts. We're doing pretty well. First thing, we knocked over the general store. Took as much inventory as we could. Some adventurers are on our side. Some are not. Right.

Where do you need us? Yeah. You best come with me. It's been a while since Piran and Iona were supposed to get back to us by now. I'm a bit worried. Where's Iris? The little girl that Iona had. Something she apparently wasn't feeling well.

I didn't fully understand it. But when Iona speaks, people listen. So I just went along with what she said. And Iona is with Pyrrhon? Yeah. And they were... They were supposed to be, we're supposed to lead everyone away. And then the two of them were supposed to take care of the sheriff. Okay.

Lead the way. We're going to have to take a bit of a wide berth. Like I said, a fine end is the last holdout and it's on the way. We'll get caught up in the conflagration there if we don't take a wider berth, I suppose. Yeah, yeah, understood. You take the long way round Vagabond, there's, the streets are alternatingly very busy

or very empty. Meanwhile, or wow. Concurrently. Not even. Prior? Yesterday. This morning. Oh. What little sun this land sees peers through the gaps in John Cavendish's shack. With a moan, he brings his hand up to his face to block out the light,

his head still pounding from last night. John shifts to a sitting position and puts his head in his hands for a long moment. And in a manner not dissimilar to Pip, he is just still remembering an old song he used to play on the piano. As the many other beings living in the ramshackle huts around him also wake for another long day, John stands with a sigh. The first port of call is the local well. No matter what time John arrives, every day he must

wait in line. The shells of adventurers reeking of long lost bravado and camaraderie in front and behind him, standing like forlorn ghosts. With a few notable exceptions. John, on purpose, isn't looking at them,

but some adventurers there's a murmur through the crowd. Something's happening, but John doesn't care. A bucket of water in hand, he splashes his face and gazes up at the abattoir, smoke belching from metal pipes.

The wind carries the smoke across town to Vagabond where it snows black and red. The stench of burnt meat singes the nostrils. Trudging through the black and bloody snow, John makes his way east to get in line for a job. If he arrives quickly enough, perhaps there will be a few tenderiser jobs left.

It's the furthest from the end of the line. It's the safest and the least smelly. But the work needs to be fast. The sign across from the tenderizer station is burned into his memory as well as the face of his father. Lose time, lose pay. The guard stamps John's work card. The next gives him his job. Switch staff. Not his favourite, not the worst. The entire day at the abattoir, John sees but doesn't

actually look at, every now and then, a few of the tenderising hammers, maybe a couple of the butcher's blades. Some things just aren't returned. Some things just get hidden in clothing. But that's not for John to know about. He trudges through the snow back to the fine end.

His feet ache and his hands are raw red. Gloves, he says to himself as he just looks at his destroyed hands. A tiefling child rushes past john nearly bowling herself over sorry stop her spy four guards hot on the girl's heels peel around the corner john looks at the girl and the girl looks at john recognition flashes in his eyes she's one of pyrrhon's ears quote unquote go home john mutters to the girl terrified she sprints away puffing and out of breath the guards reach john didn't even try and stop her john shrugs and shows the guards his destroyed and mangled hands i simply couldn't have even if I wanted to. The lead guard, a woman with no cheeks or eyelids, pushes her face into John's. You best be careful.

Today aren't the day to fuck with us. Eyeing John up and down, the woman turns to her companions. Why exactly did she run to you? Passing on a secret message, perhaps? Been going all through vagabond today. John watches as the guards tighten the grips on their batons. He looks into her eyes, and now all he can see is the stockade for resisting arrest. He isn't fighting four guards, he's fighting Barovia.

The thought exhausts him more than switchwork. No, ma'am. There is no warning. The baton strikes John in the side of his head. You're in luck. The first spy in offense is only a beaten. No cheeks, cackles, and maybe a day's worth of pay in fines. Their stance changes. He's about to receive a beatdown. Considering his tactical options, John chooses to retreat into fantasy. John Cavendish is riding a horse. Yesterday was his 18th name day,

and today is one of the finest days of his life. Ophelia rides beside him on her mare. "'Tis a silly hat," she chides him with a smile. Uncle Hartley says it was once high elven fashion, handed down from generation to generation each one adding another feather to the plume Your Uncle Hartley says many things Ophelia casts John a glance from beneath her bonnet

and he wears exclusively stupid hats Perhaps I need a new one then In a quick motion, John Cavendish casts his horse into a gallop and snatches that bonnet right off Ophelia's head. This one is quite nice. Ophelia screams in surprise, but also delight. She too sets her horse into a gallop and the chase is on. Oh, John, you cat. and the chase is on.

Oh, John, you cab. Ophelia's delighted screams echo through John's head, bouncing off the walls of his mind and slowly turning into screams of terror. Blearily getting to his feet, John follows the noise to find Piran sprinting away from Sheriff Stroyker's house and Iona's stricken face in the window. Erstwhile, the two of you, plus Bigfoot Paul, plus Esme, plus Van Richten.

Is that everyone? Yeah. Gollum, I guess. No, the Gollum's upstairs. No, he's upstairs. Yeah, Van Richten is... He's upstairs. Yeah, Van Richten's scared of getting him down.

Then you make sure it off. And I would probably assume a slowly growing collective of miscreants and adventurers. Just like a rag-tag group of rebels, if you will, begin collecting behind you as you make your way the long way through Kuturi to get to Sheriff Stryker's house. to get to Sheriff Stryker's house. On your way, you bump into, heading north, also with a group of people, but much smaller, you bump into Piran. Ah.

Piran. This would be quite, you're quite close to Sheriff Stryker's house at the moment. What is happening? Is it done? No, but I'm glad you're here, he says. Okay. Where's Iona? Where's Iris? They're trapped in Sheriff Stryker's house.

I start just almost like running past him. Pip, you must understand. What? There wasn't much I could do. Honestly, there's no time for me to process that. I'll push past him and chase Hector. Okay. Not chase, but follow Hector.

So Sheriff Stroker's house is freestanding, but part of a block of other buildings, if you kind of understand. So it's not touching any other building, but the roads or the attempts in Kuturi at roads clearly mark it as part of a larger block with other buildings. So with all of these other buildings nearby on flames, and with

Pierron's kind of vague description of what awful events have transpired. I'm wondering who's dead. Yeah, you absolutely, it's a heaviness in your heart as you round the corner. You can see that the flames have begun licking their way along Sheriff Stryker's lawn and have started making their way to the building. The building has not begun to catch fire yet, but it is not soon

from catching fire. The first thing you... Actually, no, you'll both need to make perception checks. Okay. Hector, you're too engrossed in something else that I'm about to say, so you don't spot this, but Pip, you spot in the grass

a bunch of very snakes? Well, very short somethings running out. Oh, no. Oh, no, dude. Little guys. You don't know what they are.

You just know that little somethings are running away from the building. Okay. As the flames begin to curl at it. How far away am I from the house? Because I want to cast Protection from Evil and Good on myself. But it's a ten minute thing. So I don't want it to like... You have less than ten minutes to get there.

Yeah, you're maybe a minute from getting to the building. You're not far. Sweet, well, as I'm walking, I'm casting that. Then, the thing that both of you see, you need to make a check for this, is both of you can see John Cavendish looking pretty messed up, actually. He's wearing, you can see he's got that really nice shirt

that you spotted him wearing the first time you saw him. He's got that really nice shirt that you spotted him wearing the first time you saw him he's got that but no coat and in the snow he must be freezing yeah yeah he looks you can see he's got a few bruises and he's bleeding from his nose it looks like he's been through the ringer it looks like someone gave him a pretty hefty beating doffed him up yeah he's only wearing one boot his well his trousers are always a bit ragged. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, you can see that he, it looks like he lost a fight very recently. Okay.

And up on the second story to Stroyka's house has a, I don't know how to describe it. It's got like a roof where a veranda is. Oh, yeah. So one can stand out. You can get out of a window on the second story and stand on roof. Does that make sense? Yes, yeah, yeah, kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. You can see one of these windows is open, and Iona is dragging Iris out of the building. As she does this, she throws spell after spell back into the building. Okay. You are sprinting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to take you, though, like I said, about a minute to get to this encounter.

Can I climb up? Well, when you get there, yes. Give me a sec. In the time it takes to get there, you're sprinting as fast as you can. Okay. Casted Channel Divinity. okay, cast it, like, channel divinity. Actually,

first off, divine sense about undead and anything that... This is more than 60 feet away, so divine sense will not help you here. Okay, never mind then. So do you both make athletics checks to keep sprinting? And Pip, you're fine. Hector, do you have something for an athletics check?

We do, I think. It's a strength check. No, we don't. We want to get Dex and Wisdom. Yeah, unfortunately, I get another bad boy card. Oh, no. I stumble. Yeah, you fall way behind.

Lose a gold piece. A player loses a gold piece, player's choice. One of you lose a gold piece. You pick. Okay, whatever. I'll do it. Mark it off. That gold we didn't grab from before?

No, you didn't grab it, if you'll recall. Adam, you're right. Yes, on my very thorough list of all my gold. Yep. Don't go into a Ria's, Jackson. That's how calculating

errors happen. Going into negatives in a game system is how you get a nuclear Gandhi. I definitely have a little inventory Excel

thing that I have. We have 225 coins of just different mintings. So I think we have 224 gold of coins of

different mintings. Okay. Anyway. Hank, you stumble. Pip, do you slow down for him? I think The building looks like it's about to catch fire, yeah?

So Pip's aware that he's resistant to that So Pip's kind of If you go to like If I stumble and you slow down I'm like, go Yeah, okay, okay I'll keep going, I'll keep going You can see

Iona is just barely keeping ahead of, now you see them, puppets. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Have you ever accidentally opened a hole into an anthill? Oh, no, Adam. Oh, no. They begin crawling out of the tumbling, if you will,

out of the window like, yeah, well, like you've accidentally... Like the whole, we've hassled the hornet's nest. Yeah, the metaphorical hornet's nest. Fuck. Then the stream of puppets stops for a second, and it's the most fucked thing you've ever seen. There is a person, a chambermaid, is forcing their way through the window

like they're unaccustomed to using a body. They're forcing their way through belly first. They fall, collapse out onto the roof and then the puppet stream continues. Is the puppets like they're escaping the house?

Half escaping, half attacking. They'll attack on the way if they can. Iona is doing her dauntless to keep them at bay, but they're getting closer and closer. You can see as well that Iris is bleeding very heavily. Can I say that she's further haggified as well? Yes. Yeah, it's very obvious.

Her arms and legs are about as long as they would be once the transformation is finished. Am I on the rooftop? No, no, no, no, no. You're not even at the building yet. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Pip, by the time, oh, Hector, you're the only one falling behind. Oh, well, with the exception of Bigfoot.

So Bigfoot is still next to you, and it looks like he is on purpose staying with you so that no one gets separated from a larger group. But both Esme and Van Richten pull ahead of you. Dude, that sucks. Esme on one leg and Van Richten at the tender age of 500 both pull ahead of you. What the hell? I meant to be good at this.

But yeah, Bigfoot Paul stays with you Okay, wow So, Pip Yeah By the time you get to the building Iona, looking down at Cavendish Has thrown Iris off the side of the building Okay

And John Cavendish, not expecting John Cavendish, from his position He could tell that Iona was in trouble But did not expect to hang, baby. He's not expecting Iris. So you see a moment of, like, oh, no, over his face. And then he instinctively catches Iris. Okay, good.

All right, and then we're going to go to an issue. All right, cool. Good stuff, good stuff, good stuff. Oh, Hector's not going to like this. State Iris is in. Oh, Hector's not going to like that. Fuck. Yeah, I just think, like, like the state irises in. Oh, Hector's not going to like that. Fuck. Yeah, I just think if anything happens, whatever,

I'm like, how does one instantly take a dip in Barbarian? I don't know. How does one go into a rage as a paladin? That would be such an unexpected turn if your next level was into Barbarian. Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget.

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Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Friday. That would be awesome, though. It's just like, he's teetered on the edge. Yeah, yeah.

I just think this might teeter him over. This might tip him over. It might tip him over. Yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah. Oh, no. I feel like Kutri might burn down.

I don't know. We might be stopping Hector this adventure to protect sweet Kutri. All right, the poppers go first. Fuck. Pip. Oh, fuck. I've got simply terrible news. What?

Oh, no, in the grass. The grass around you shifts and shudders. You feel like a force on your boot. You look down and you can see the little puppet of a raggedy Ann type doll has stuffed her needle down as hard into your boot as possible, but it hasn't pierced the boot. Then you feel like something prick your bum. You turn around and you can see the exact same thing.

This doll is a little bit taller. It's a Baby Bjorn type doll, like plastic. Jesus. All right. Then Iona. Can I riposte? Yeah, if you have that action. Yeah, can I riposte the puppet?

Which one? The one that stabbed my shoe I guess The raggedy end? Yeah sure I'm just gonna Oh wait do you have a melee weapon in your hand? I'm just gonna use my foot Okay I'll allow that

It's like a melee in that it's like a punch In a manner of speaking Sure And you step on the raggedy end It's destroyed I guess that's probably what gets me the prick in the bum to be honest Yes Where do you get riposte from?

I took it ages and ages and ages ago Oh it's a feat It's a feat Right But because I use a crossbow it has never ever been useful for me No fair enough Okay You can see Iona is swarmed by them

One of them manages to get through her defenses. Oh, fuck. She needs to make a charisma saving throw. She takes one point of damage, but you see she doesn't fall unconscious from, like, it doesn't happen. She's not been puppetified.

Okay, thank God, thank God, thank God. That was the puppets' turn. A few of them begin tumbling off the side of the building, and God, thank God, thank God. That was the puppets' turn. A few of them begin tumbling off the side of the building, and when they land in the grass or on the lawn, just wherever they land, a bunch of them just shatter and break, but then further start landing on top and cushioning the fall of other ones. There's a hundred, maybe.

There's so many. Fuck. Okay, that's all right. That's okay. That was the puppets' turn. It's Iona's turn. She's busting out the big guns for this one. Oh, yeah, you simply have to, dude.

You do simply have to. It's that or become a puppet. She blasts one of them with fire. There's one fewer. Okay. That was the big guns. And then she jumps. Okay.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Pip, you hear her cry out in pain as her ankle rolls in an uncomfortable manner when she lands. Oh, that's a shame. But she is otherwise fine. And she's not a puppet. She's not dead. It's your turn, Pip.

Okay. I would like to maybe whip myself in front of Iona. And then with my crossbow, I would like to cast the spell Lightning Arrow to fire an arrow that does 4d8. I'm aiming at any puppet I see, really. But then any creature within 10 feet of the target must make a deck saving throw or take 2d8 lightning damage. You aim almost straight up. Yeah. Twang.

Your attack hits and then you instantly vaporize. You instantly vaporize that one and then you can see parts for several others tumble over the side. That's good.

Little arms and buttons just cascade off you. I don't want to think about what would happen if a needle hit me with no puppet attached. Where would I go? It's Esmeralda's turn. She will probably also bust out the big guns. You got her. Van Richten calls out to her,

Guy, come a little. What's the prognosis? Area attack. She casts lightning bolt. Nice. A line of puppets are vaporized. Hell yeah. I don't think it matters if they make the saving throw or not.

Van Richten is not going to cast a spell, but instead he drops to one knee. Hector, you see in front of you as he whips out an immaculate compared to Pip's alchemical set. He whips something up really quickly, arms it, and then throws. An explosion of flames takes out another little group of puppets trying to escape. Nice.

Van Richten turns to you, Hector. You head in straight for the house. Myself and the man with the big foot will keep them from escaping. And then, Hector, it's your turn. Okay, so how far away am I from the house? What do we want to do in the house? He's saying going in the house. Why am I going in the house?

Clear them out, presumably. Okay, halfway from the front door, am I, I guess? You are 60 feet. 60 feet. Iris has in Cavendish's arms. Iona has fallen. Is there a concentration of puppets around that I can see? If I was to, say, do an AOE of a 10-foot sphere, could I get them?

What's the range on it? How far away can you hit? 60 foot. You would need to, well, you move closer, so you spend your movement about 30 feet, right? Yeah, I'm getting into the same boat now. So you close within 30 feet, and then you could target, I'd say, like maybe five puppets in one burst. You can see the roof pretty well right now.

I'm just, so I could cast Shatter. Okay. And get those five, or I could cast Shatter on the house. Yeah, cast it on the balcony thing, have everything. And crumple the house. Yeah. If I cast it on the house, would that cause damage to us? Or the people near?

Are you worried about collapsing the house onto you? I'm worried about collapsing the house onto would that cause damage to us? Or the people near? Are you worried about collapsing the house? I'm worried about collapsing the house onto my good friends. Yes. Right. Well, that would be, I guess, it'd be a check. It would be some sort of intelligence check. I'm guessing maybe

I would call it investigation. So, that'll be plus six. Well, no one's underneath the balcony. The closest that anyone is is probably John Cavendish holding Iris, and you think that they would be clear. Okay. You're a reasonable level of service.

I guess, yeah. More likely than not, they're clear. Would that take out the majority? Would that be the best move to take out? It'd kill a lot of them. Well, you don't know how many are in the house, but it feels like a termite infestation. That's the vibe you're getting.

So collapsing the house is probably going to kill a ton of them. Yeah, I'm just probably walking towards Iris as well. That's kind of my main focus. And then as I'm running towards that, casting shatter on the house okay hell yeah if you across these 3d8 if you deal at least 12 points of damage you collapse the house yeah yeah there's a whomp. The building collapses. Yeah, it... And then it collapses. As I pass Van Richten, I'm like, I've got a better idea. Hell yeah.

I'll say with the building collapsing, to be honest, that is the majority of the puppets and the puppeted, the people who were swapped out with puppets, have been destroyed. So it's mostly cleanup from here, which under Van were swapped out with puppets, have been destroyed. So it's mostly cleanup from here, which, under Van Richten's watchful gaze, Bigfoot Paul and the little cadre of rebels are able to

pretty much mop everything up. Nice. I just rushed straight over to Iris. By the time you get to Iris, Iona is already there, and you can see she's desperately trying to transfuse the vials of your blood into her. What do we need? What do we need? Van Richten! Get on it!

Van Richten, obviously not aware of the specifics of this situation, is supervising Bigfoot Paul. You rush over to him. I probably would have sent someone to go grab Van Richten. Yeah, I'll grab him. Hey! Get over there! I'll grab him. Hey! Get over there. I'm needed, of course. What's the issue? You're needed over there. She's

been hagified. I know you probably I imagine are against returning her to her normal state, but we've put a lot of effort into making sure that happens. We need your guidance. Van Richten takes one look at her and says, well, he pauses. She is Vistani.

No, Esme is the only Vistani in your group. So Van Richten does not have as much tact here as maybe he should. He was just a quick assessment of is she related to anyone here? Yes, I see how how much might someone be hurt if he's a little curt right now but after what you just said yeah he turns back to you and he says well uh worst case scenario she won't survive i'd like to grab him by the cuff like by his shirt and pull him in you better better hope she survives, old man, alright? Old man? You're like

300. Get over there. I just, like, instinctively hand just twitching onto the hammer, just like, just do everything you can. Well, of course, I'm not going to try anything other than my best. Do it now.

What do you need from me? Well, give me but a moment. We'll see what we can do with what we have already at hand. Shaking one of the blood vials. You can see if I'd say maybe four blood vials were created, two of them are cracked just from the scuffle to get off the roof. So Van Richten begins transfusing the other two into iris as he does that you can see iona who is very nearby is she's got her arms wrapped around her knees she's rocking backwards and forwards and muttering something to herself she seems traumatized she wounded like as in like she's

pretty heavily wounded no no in like pretty heavily wounded? No, no, no. Not pretty heavily wounded. I was like, does she need any sort of healing because I can do a quick lay on hands to help her knee? She needs four hit points. Okay. So she'll be all right. She's more of mental damage.

She's bruised maybe at most. Okay. She's just muttering a song to herself. Okay. Maybe as a calming mechanism. Okay. I'm just going to keep an eye. I'm probably going to join Bigfoot Paul and act as defense whilst the...

Esmeralda joins you as well. Yeah, transfusing of... Whilst the transfusing of Iris occurs. John Cavendish, who very awkwardly laid Iris down on the floor, is standing nearby while the transfusion happens. He doesn't say or do anything. He looks very, like I said, awkward. he's not sure what to do with himself yeah every now and then hector you see him put his hands in his pockets and then take them out of his pockets

i uh yeah uh i guess i do i start preparing like do i'm like i'm taking off like my armor am i like sure yeah you can kind of stop like if you basically i am preparing to be like what do you need me to do i will do it it right now. Extinguish me. Hurry up. If you start taking off some armor, Van Richten looks over and says, oh yes, very good, yes. Just give me but a moment, like I said, we'll make do with what we have so far, and then we'll see what we need from there. I've never,

unfortunately, never had to do such an advanced case before, but you are in luck. He's yapping away while he, you see, he's, like I said, he's not very strong, but he is nimble. Yeah. So he feels very... He seems very comfortable chatting to you, nattering away

inanely while he's doing this, and it doesn't look like it's affected his skill at all. Okay. He finds a vein in one of her really long, bony arms, and you see the exsanguinator, which is literally just a conical dagger, which was stabbed

into Iris' neck. You can see he takes one look at that and gives a noise. Not how I would have done it. How would you do it? Well, I would have preferred to do this slowly, but I suppose whoever did do it, he looks over at Iona,

I suppose she didn't have a lot of options. I guess not. I'm looking at Iris. Can we see it? Or is it sort of stuck? Iris is pale. All the color has left her. Her eyes are closed.

She looks dead. Okay. Is there a pulse? Instinctively want to heal, but I can't. Do. Is there a pulse? I instinctively want to heal, but Do you check for a pulse? Because I'm expecting an attack from somewhere else. I would instinctively try to heal, but I remember

Esme was like, no magic, don't heal, don't do anything. So I am unfortunately going to just do nothing and just kind of follow Van Richten and be as eager as I can to just do anything. Van Richten finishes with the second vial of blood, and then he gestures for you. I'll need an arm.

I give him both. I'll give him the right hand. Have you ever done something like this before? A couple days ago. Well, it will feel quite similar, he says. A couple days ago Well it will feel Quite similar He says

There'll be a And then as he says Pinch You feel a pinch As he inserts the needle Into your arm I would I guess I

Yeah Uncast Yeah Protection of good and evil Right Yeah Well Van Richten's not evil So

As much as Sometimes he might seem it He is not evil Yeah yeah yeah I'll just I feel like It's like someone Punched it over

And again There was no magic Involved as well Right So it kind of needs to be Oh yeah fair Right Sometimes he might seem it. He is not evil. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just, I feel like, it's like someone punched you and again, there was no magic involved as well, right? So it kind of needs to be... Oh, yeah, fair. Right? The magic from your body. Yeah, cool. All right, well, yeah,

I make sure I'm not casting anything and I just cop it. I'll get you to palpate the puncture site and also squeeze and slacken your hand. It helps the blood flow. Very good, he says. Ah, yes, very good.en your hand. It helps the blood flow. Very good, he says. Ah, yes, very good. Raise your arm.

He does a million different micro adjustments on you. And then he moves over to Iris and he does a million different micro adjustments on her. You see there is a tube that it would be a solid rubber one. So you can't see the blood flowing. But you can almost feel the blood flowing. But you can almost feel the blood flowing from you into Iris. It's like a transference of life. He begins

siphoning your blood into her. Is there a pump in the... Scanning the horizon, like, through the houses, what's the situation? We're pretty vulnerable right now, is all I'm thinking. Scanning around, you don't see any alive enemies,

but there quite obviously was pretty heavy fighting very near here very recently. You can see one of those creatures, those monsters, is lying very dead in the mud. There is a pile, piles I should say, of corpses all around it. Quite obviously, it took at least maybe 20 people to bring this thing down, but not before it killed 18 out of the 20. Damn, dude. This one looks, you spot, slightly different than the others. It's a bit, maybe half a foot taller,

despite the fact that thus far, you might have noticed, thus far they have been a very consistent height. Yeah, sure. And you can see that the metallic parts of it are slightly different. It looks like a different configuration. Yeah, okay. Stamped on one side of it, you see M24-F, and you note that everyone that you've seen previously has M23-F. Oh, no. An upgraded model.

If you stop and spot it, Bigfoot Paul standing next to you grunts, new ones, I think. They're tougher. Yes. It seems like this one took out 18 people before they could take it down. He nods. Anything different about them, or are they just stronger in general? Faster too, he says. Aside from that, I would watch out.

Don't let them get a charge. What do you mean a charge? Oh, no electricity? No, to run straight at you. Right, okay, yeah. straight at you. Right. Okay. Yeah. Good to know. If they move in fast enough of a straight line, I promise you, it looks, they look big and tough, but they hit you like something three times their weight. God.

How many have you seen? Only a handful, but some of the people I've been speaking to say that there's a concentration of them around the abattoir, chapel, whatever. Right. Oh, God. I think we need to go there. I guess we'll just keep – I'll look back at Hector and – to see how that's going. Hector, you begin feeling – over the course of the next few minutes, you begin feeling weaker and weaker and weaker to the point where van richten needs to use his cane to prop up your arm okay that's that's fine i guess rage is slowly dissipating

yeah it's now um hopelessness and hopefulness and all mixing together i'm just so scared you're gonna have to fight like this yeah that's what's stressing me out. So it's good. Don't worry. We'll be fine. Yeah. After a few minutes of draining your blood into Iris,

Van Richten does something you've never seen before and at first you think Van Richten means to kill Iris. At first you're like, oh my God, he's about to crush her chest

as he very gingerly climbs, kind of half straddles her, puts one hand and then the other one over her chest and then starts pushing into her chest forcefully. What are you doing? I have to get the heart beating. Keep your arm up. She's been dead for quite some time, he says. Oh, fuck. arm up she's been dead for quite some time he says so fuck i eyes widen and i i again try to remember back to what esme was saying which was like she needs to be cold she needs to be basically

either dying dead or near death and i'm just like trust in the process i guess yeah i is there yeah i'll pump a little extra harder i I will just will myself into this. I will say a pret a penia. As you watch, as from the site where Iris has the, from the needle site in Iris' arm, you watch as color begins to slowly spread back into her. Do her arms shrink? Her arms don't shrink, but she's starting to look alive again.

All right. Hey, that's not good. Yeah, just saying a prayer to Penia and probably even like saying a curse to Eileen. Yeah. Don't you dare take her. Sure. A plea with her to don't you dare and a plea to Penia. Well, such a prayer to Eileen if you wanted to do it.

Yeah, Eileen, if you wanted to do it correctly, you would make a vow of vengeance against her if she did it. That's what she's all, she's the goddess of revenge. You do, you promise revenge

if she doesn't give you what you want. She likes that. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, all right. Well, but is it a real prayer? It's not really a prayer, it's more of a threat.

Yeah, you're using it. That's kind of it, yeah. Which I guess, I guess it is a prayer for her. He doesn't think it's more of a threat yeah that's kind of it which I guess I guess it is a prayer for her he doesn't think it's a prayer no from the perspective of Hector it's not a

you're not really praying you're praying a penia but I was like but if I lean if you fucking do yeah I'm coming after you that's kind of

that she counts that counts she counts those look funny as the colour begins to return to her her lips change from purple to a soft blue, then back to a healthy pinky sort of color.

And as that's happening, her eyes flutter slowly open. Van Richten, you see he's leaning down next to her and he's whispering something to her. Mm-hmm. Okay. You're not sure if it's a spell, a prayer, or maybe he's just making notes for himself. Okay. My full attention is on her and not on him. I'm just going to be focusing to see if she's getting better, and that's good for me.

At a certain point, heck, your arm slumps. Even with the support of the cane, your arm slumps over. You fall. Iris begins slowly leaving your vision as you begin involuntarily falling backwards. You realize that in addition to falling backwards, the world is becoming dark. Hector, you fall unconscious. Okay. It's all part of the process. As long as she's alive.

Yeah. Did it work? Did it work? Trust in the process, he says. Any minute now. Okay. Okay. Pip. Yeah? You see riders coming from the north. Okay. Bigfoot Paul puts an arm out in front of you protectively and pushes you back a little bit.

God damn it. I gently move his hand away. Friend? Foe? You can see it's guards. Oh, fuck. Foe. A fight is about to occur, but then one of the guards holds up a spear with a little white flag on it. Oh, okay. Hail, we wish to speak to the leader.

A trap? Where is Piran? Oh, God. Piran? Right here. Piran. What the fuck? Pyrrhon right here

Pyrrhon what the fuck you're not sure how long he's been with the group but at some point he slinked into your formation

he's always been with the group yeah he's always been there but I wouldn't really consider myself a leader more like a kingmaker I suppose

a bigfoot Paul here he's the man you want and his faithful general Pip Mandarin. Don't like hearing that again. General Mandarin. General Mandarin once more. He's back. Shoot him a

dirty look, but like, you know, I'm not going to argue about it now. The Burj Master wishes to make parlay with you. I look to Piran. Piran shrugs. I didn't even know the Burj Master was still alive. Yeah, we found that out earlier too. Bigfoot Paul said that the Burj Master had returned in some capacity. Yeah. Bigfoot Paul

nods. He looks at Pyrrhon and then he starts saying, wait, no, sorry, actually, what Bigfoot Paul does is, Bigfoot Paul says not to either of you, but looking over at the guard, saying only loud enough that people in the immediate area can hear. He says, it could be a trick. Perhaps we should send someone else. Just someone I trust, I suppose. As he says that, he looks back at the two of you.

He eyes Piran. He eyes you. And you can see this clear conflict in his head. Who can you trust in this world, Bigfoot Paul? He looks past the two of you, and now you notice as Hector falls backwards unconscious. You hear Bigfoot Paul make a noise. I'll do it.

I say, I'll do it. I'll do it. All right. Anything, Bigfoot Paul looks at you, and he says, anything to contain bloodshed works with me, but... Yeah, of course. There's a chance they'll stab us in the back either way. Yes.

Use your best judgment. All right. No, don't use your own best judgment. Use someone else's judgment. I do my best attempt at a smile, which is never good. Sure. Then I'll turn around and make my way over to the guards. We'll see you next time. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year.

Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido, at your side. This Friday. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Friday. campaigns that were once only available to Sants Pants Plus members, the further adventures of the

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