D&D is For Nerds - Barovia III #24 Belief, Lies & Tea

Episode Date: July 20, 2024

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You're listening to the Sands Pants Network. I've known many evil places in my time, but this realm, called Barovia, is among the most dangerous. A man could drown here, though he wouldn't need any water to do so. This place is ruled by a man, no, more a creature actually, known as Strahd Von Zarovich.

It is said that anyone who can slay him will be set free. If they don't die in the attempt, of course. Perhaps now we should discuss strategy. With a cooling smile at the edges of his lips, your place or mine? Oh, Bigfoot Paul. You card. Inside it is as you saw it last.

Hector, you for the first time see those pots arranged at the back of the tavern. That's what clones are. As many maps as the Burgermaster has are brought out for you, laid out on the table. You've got pretty detailed maps of the town itself, but any information about the cathedral, or I should say the abattoir, is quite limited. You can see an on-purpose division has been sowed within the leadership of this town, and it's quite obvious that the Burj Master was not privy to a lot of the goings-ons. This is all the information I have. There is, for the abattoir, but two entrances that we will be able to make use of. I am aware of a teleportation circle, but I do not know the symbols to cast to access it.

There is, should we decide this important, at least two teleportation circles I know of connected to this one. There is one here in the Solenka Pass. You have actually already witnessed that. Yeah, yeah, sure. I think I do not think that one exists anymore. Yeah, we might have doffed it up. Unless they rebuilt it in the time since. I do not know of its current

status then. My information is perhaps months old. The other one is within Castle Ravenloft itself. I think we can assume this one inaccessible to us. That's also concerning. It works both ways, yes? Yes. Okay. Our one advantage

is that the portal allows but 10 people to pass at a time, and it must recharge. How long this takes, I think, varies depending on the connection between points. Right. Other than the teleportation circle, which, as I said, is not very accessible to us. There are two entrances. The front, which is heavily guarded and perhaps even suicidal to attempt a frontal assault. And then she points at a side entrance around behind the cathedral, the abattoir, whatever. She points from behind and she says, there is a God's entrance and exit. It connects to the second floor or first floor if you are American.

Right. It's always very confusing. Yeah, it never made sense to me. Yes. This entrance is much smaller but is less likely to be well defended since it can only be opened from the inside. Is there any way we could – what's it made of? It is, as far as I am aware, a stone door with a magical seal placed upon it. The seal simply means that should the door be forced open, an alarm will sound.

Okay. The door leads almost immediately as well to a guard barracks. So should the alarm go off... If the people who are not guarding are at rest, they will be there. They will be woken up. Okay. Okay, that is a suicide door it is. The alarm will not be triggered

so long as the door is opened from within, but you must be within already to open this door. And that is the only two entrances? Yes. There are stained glass windows, but these windows are... There is some enchantment upon them that is beyond my knowledge

it prevents breakage it would be easier to mine through the stone beside the window than to actually break the windows themselves I am aware of at least

three levels. The main level where one works in the abattoir, an upper level where the gods inhabit and where one can find Ludmilla's offices, and then a basement of sorts. What happens in the basement? I can only guess. We are making the assumption

that there is a headless dragon. Yeah, and possibly that's where Ludmilla keeps her coffin as well. I think that's a safe assumption. I also believe Ludmilla's coffin is there. Yeah, that's what I thought. How many of the skinless, the flayed guards are there remaining

roughly? Do we know? Have they had a headcount? I estimate the reserve forces that they have left to be around 100. But guarding the front door, they might as well be 10 times that number. Of course. And the, I guess, the golems, the automatrons. Yes. How many of them? And are they making more?

I believe there are 30. They would be making more, but I know nothing of this process, how long it takes. They've apparently gotten upgrades. Van Richten was mentioning psychic damage is how you can disrupt them. I have seen this happen.

They enter a berserk state, if you will. Right. So you have the Flare Guards, the Automatrons, and of course the Vampire herself. M-24-F is their designation. This version

of them. I am aware the engineer has created several versions of them. I am aware the engineer has created several versions of them. So there might even be earlier versions. Or newer ones too. I think, yes. I am uncertain of specifics, but I believe older models get updated. Well, that is good news in a way. What's

the roof of the cathedral slash abattoir made of? The roof is made out of stone and tiles. Can we see the abattoir as well? You can from the tavern. You can look out the window and see

you can look out one window and see the abattoir and you can look out the other and see the abattoir, and you can look out the other window and see Castle Ravenloft. Beautiful. I guess, yeah, looking towards the abattoir, what does it look like building-wise? Imagine a cathedral. It looks almost exactly like any cathedral, like Notre Dame, pretty much.

Okay. Just looking at it, have we tried perhaps going through the roof? cathedral like Notre Dame. Yeah, pretty much. Have we... Have we tried perhaps going through the roof? Is that what you're thinking? Well, I'm wondering if we can move the tiles. You know, the roof would probably be less sturdy than the walls, and I imagine possibly

not enchanted as well. Your assassin, Pyrrhon. Wait a minute. There's smokestacks, right? Yes. The billowing smokestacks right? Yes Some go to the basement And most Though go to the factory floor Those probably Wouldn't be enchanted

Smoke and smog needs to get out They wouldn't be enchanted as much right? I do not think they would be But obviously the hazard Of having to climb down a smokeestack is a deterrent within itself. Well, you mentioned our assassin, and I think he could hack it. I am aware he has done trickier things. I'm wondering if we could get Purin in, or anyone, I'm assuming Purin, in.

They could at least disable the alarm. And then we could send a cadre of people into the back door. Possibly as well, if we get a proportion of our forces at the front door as a sort of distraction, keep them occupied there while we sneak in through the side. Meanwhile, Piran sneaks in through the smokestacks and disables the alarm. theatrical, distracting, explosions, high damage, lots of forces. Obviously, try to keep yourself as safe as you can. We could even send, I mean, of our forces,

and just looking around through Bigfoot Paws and the Berger Masters, like we could just send Pyrrhon, but I mean three points of assault is better than two. So is your plan Pyrrhon infiltrates through the roof? But maybe more people infiltrate through the roof. How many smokestacks are there? There's eight smokestacks in total. Okay.

So you're saying we could send, say, a small cadre of people into the smokestacks? Yeah. While Piran is amongst that. Yes, Piran's amongst that. He runs to the back door, sneaks through, does what he does. I trust him to disable the alarms

more than anyone else, really. The rest of the people cause chaos within. If they can shut down the factory in some way, disable the machines in there. So they're going inside while the rest of the

front forces are doing that. And then maybe us and a couple of our companions or whatever going through the side. The guards aren't alerted. We will have to destroy the door in a way that doesn't...

Well, if Piran is opening from the inside... Well, that's true. Piran opens from the inside. Bada bing, bada boom. We will have to destroy the door in a way that doesn't... Well, if Piran is opening from the inside... Well, that's true. Piran opens from the inside, bada-bing, bada-boom. We go in there, kill the sleeping guards. If there are any, make our way in. Then, well, you'll need to find your engineer. Is it good...

I mean, do we know... I look around, like, do we know how the automatons are controlled? Is it from the engineer? Do we... The engineer has some method of controlling them, yes. If you were able to capture him, perhaps we could

cut the automatons off at the head, as it were. You find your engineer. My preference would be to try to at least capture him alive. Well, absolutely. You say, hey, guess what? Show him the card. And then... But if he. I have to stop him. But if he's not willing to stop the automotrons,

I wonder if it's a cut off the head, the rest of the body falls, or is it a device or something? I mean, I don't know. The specifics I am uncertain of. Then we descend. The dragon you can take care of. Ludmilla will be my responsibility. We're lucky in that I suppose Ludmilla will be down there

herself, fingers crossed, but so will her coffin. That means we don't have to go anywhere else once we defeat her in her corporeal form. And then we can just stab her in the coffin, figure it out there. So there's a dragon underneath. Yeah. We could also just not do everything as rushed.

Okay. Because ifugmila is how quickly is the regeneration because you know ever since the trail off gesture maybe to the sun healing has sort of, is that effect I wouldn't know but it would be roughly 24 hours but it does vary

from vampire to vampire so perhaps if we could try to take out the top floors and then sit rep. Yeah, that's true. And then assault the dragon. Yeah. Because I feel even though, right, it's still a dragon and it probably will need more than just me.

Well, you and whoever. Just the other people around you leading the charge I just worry that Ludmilla or the dragon I mean you know will they sit quietly whilst we take out the abattoir but I suppose that's a sort of

as they come situation we could take the abattoir and we can take the engineer maybe we could even use these use the automatons. Yeah. Where do you want us? I would

disagree. The automatons, they are powerful. Whoever controls them has an edge within this city. For the sake of peace, I think the control mechanism should be destroyed. The Burgermaster looks over at Bigfoot Paul,

who leans back, strokes his beard for a sec, and then, looking at the two of you, he says, I'm sorry, lads, but I agree with the Burgermaster. Destroy this. Destroy the control mechanism. I don't think anyone should have

it. If we destroy it, what if we can't then control these beasts and they go on their Shut them down. Destroy it.

However you can do that. Well, we'll see what happens. I mean, the problem with adjusted to the maps and the

big blind spot that is the abattoir, the problem with not knowing what's in there is that we can't strategize until we're kind of upon it. I understand.

Yeah. But. No, no, we understand. We'll do our best. I, yes. Okay. Anyway. A division of forces.

Yeah. A three-pronged attack from front, behind, and above. Yeah. Yes. Yep, yep. And Richten, he has the control stone for that. For the golem. He's up in the...

He's gone. That would have been useful. The golem probably would have taken too long. As a reminder, the golem is inherently evil and will try to do evil acts if you're not careful about how you instruct it. Okay. Van Richten had to

tell it each individual step that it needed to take. Thank God it's still, I imagine, marching down the mountain. It's probably stopped. It's just kind of up there, just chilling. Getting frosty. Next person has to go to the temple.

What the heck? This is a new encounter. Inert Gollum. Okay. Okay, so where do you want everybody? I think Piran. Piran and Paul. I don't know if you have any nimble, your nimblest of warriors. If you could lend them to Piran for the downward assault.

Same with you, Burge Master. Whoever has the capability to descend like that, to abseil down a smokestack, us, and maybe Iona, whoever else. Cavendish. Cavendish. Cavendish, where are you best suited for? I, well, I'm a... Can we get him a horse, I say? I say that to Bigfoot Paul and the Burgermaster.

A horse would not be very useful inside a building, I think. Well, maybe he could stay out the front, part of the frontal assault. Perhaps. Pay distraction. Well, yes, I'm a cavalryman, but I don't know. The fight at the front is going to be up steps, some pretty hefty high steps. I wouldn't charge a horse up that. I don't really see them also coming out to meet us.

When on my feet, I am handy with a sword and my other weapons. Okay, fabulous. You'll come with us. Bigfoot Paul, the majority of your forces, and Birgit Master, the majority of yours will be at the front, at part of the frontal assault. Is that satisfactory? Both of them consider and then nod slowly. Yes, I can see this working in our favor.

We will provide a distraction for your rear and top-down assaults. Pip, you don't... I mean, you're pretty nimble. Do you want to go with Piran? Yeah, all right. I'll abseil down. That's fine. Leading that charge there.

Okay, and you go in the side. And I go in with the side with Cavendish. Yeah. And I... Well, Iona is very good at rallying troops. She could stay out the front. She could stay out the front. Big football nods.

I would have Iona by my side. Exactly. So you, yes, Paul and Iona, you two at the front with the troops. Bergemaster, you're very handy with everything. Where would you like to go?

She thinks for a moment and then she says, I would go with you. Okay. I wish to be the one to drive the stake into Ludmilla's heart. Sounds very reasonable. As long as someone

does. She smiles a wicked smile. It's like looking at a part of your brains both go off. Predator! Predator! Predator! Predator! Strange bedfellows. Yeah. Obviously Part of your brains both go off, predator, predator, predator, predator. Strange pet photos. Yeah. Obviously, Paul, if anything starts to go wrong, you're overwhelmed, pull back into the town.

I think that's, you know, if you can fight them amongst the streets and back alleyways of Kooterie, you'll have more of an advantage and you'll draw them away from the abattoir. There is a metal gate, a portcullis in the entryway. If the access to that or access to it is in the upper level somewhere, if you can find it and activate it, it will mean that we can start pushing. They can't get reinforcements out to meet us. We can push them up against the portcullis. Perhaps then we can at least take the front if they can no longer reinforce themselves.

And then, well, you leave the portcullis raising to me. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Ancestral science explores scientific topics through conversations between knowledge keepers and scientists. While experiencing the origins and depth of science on and with the land. Join us as science comes alive when knowledges are shared alongside ancestor plants, rocks, animals, and rivers, creating connections between personal, indigenous, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com Okay, so I'm assuming we want the frontal assault first while you're descending down? Yes, I would say so. And then I guess, well, whatever, you'll hopefully hear the signals. Well, once I hear the sound of combat. Yeah, well, I think the frontal assault should happen first. We will sound horns, we'll cry out. You'll know when it's happening.

You come down from above, Pip, and then let Hector and his troop in from behind. You'll know when to enter when Piran opens the door. Pretty much. A perfect plan,hon opens the door. Yeah. Pretty much. A perfect plan, and my favorite type of plan, one that involves blood. Yeah.

Right. Okay. Chop, chop. Not here for a haircut. Let's go. Bigfoot Paul and the Burgermaster arrange things like troop meetup and that sort of stuff. They worry about the logistics.

Sure. The two of you, your job is to now grab, with John Cavendish, is to go back and collect Piran, Iona, let them know the plan, basically. Okay, cool. Well, we head back to our headquarters. Is there anything I make? I am still two levels of exhaustion. Could I maybe ask the Burj Master,

do you have anything to help with the... I mean, we've just come back from the Amber Temple. I'm very weary. Is there anything that you know of that could help with this assault? I have a poultice for vigor. If it would be kind of you, if I could... She snaps her fingers and a weedy elf wanders over. He has...

He looks a little bit like a butler with a serving tray, but instead of tea and cakes or anything like that, the serving tray has a bunch of alchemical ingredients and odds and ends and stuff. She takes a little wrapped leaf, like a leaf

that has been wrapped with twine, and she hands it to you. The powder within must be breathed through the nose. Of course. Give me some more of that. Thank you very much. I'll tuck it into my jacket pocket. It should last you perhaps an hour or two. I will meet you near the rear.

You arrange a meeting point with her. So what did Ludmilla do to you? She smiles that very ominous smile again. Ludmilla? Not much. Okay. Hey, some people just want power in this life. You want this shitty town? More power

to you. See you soon. See you soon. Alright, we'll head back to the meeting place. Yep. Okay. I explain, I lay head back to the meeting place. Yep. Okay. I explain, I lay out the plan to Perrin. Oh, okay. So I'm just kind of like a sacrificial lamb.

Is that what I am? No. I thought you were good at your job. Oh, I'm great at my job, but that place is haunted. I don't know that that's true. Oh, yes, of course. No ghosts around that. Can I open up Emmanuel the monster and flip to the page for Soft Undead?

Be like, looking at like, Pipp to, ghost? Oh, I don't know. Both of you can see, she's not saying anything. Just behind Pipp, Iona has a very smug grin. She, everything Piran has done very smug grin. She, everything Piran has done to her, just in general, but also literally today, she is pretty

chuffed that Piran is doing a very unpleasant job. I'm just going to go stand next to Iona. I'm going to let Pip deal with Piran. Fair enough. Had enough to hear with him, really. Like, you ask an assassin to do something an assassin should do, and yet he doesn't. Why are you scared of ghosts?

I was frightening about a ghost. Because a person can stab you. A ghost can haunt you. That's, like, forever shit. Do you know how to use ectobloom, I say? Ectobloom? No, it's not a poison, is it? Well, to ghosts, I suppose it is.

I like reaching to my alchemical kit. You've said it in the right way. I pull it out. It's like a flower, yeah, ectobloom. You rub this on a dagger or whatever, and you'll be able to stab the ghost. Maybe a ghost can't stab you,

but you can stab a ghost, and then the ghost kaput. It's gone. You hand him the ecto-bloom? Yeah, I'll give him two. Like it's gold that could crumble in his hands, he very gingerly, very delicately holds it in two hands. Yeah. Interesting.

Yeah, it's like a poison. I don't think there's going to be ghosts inside, but if there are, you can use that, like I said, apply it to a dagger, and then the ghost will be no more. Interesting. And if you eat it, that might help too. That, all right, you're getting a bit of stretching believability. You'll make a tea out of it, I suppose. I'm going to give you advantage because he also kind of wants to believe you.

Yeah. How long do the effects last for well uh the effect on your dagger will last it's like five stabs yeah pretty much i'll say yeah yeah ectobloom doesn't do it does ghost touch when in a potion if he combines it with... It doesn't matter. It lasts... When you turn it into a potion, yeah. Oh, okay. Okay, so this is a lion. Yeah, it lasts long enough, Piran.

It'll get you in, it'll get you out. Oh, all right. And if you take a little bit of it in your tea every now and then, you'll build up defenses to the soft under. Tea. Yeah, you can brew a tea of it. Tea, tea, tea. Still very gingerly holding it.

Perrin starts looking around. He immediately, there's a kettle in the fireplace. He wanders over to the kettle and he starts figuring out how to turn it into a tea. That was one of Durak's acronyms, actually. Tea. Taste every alchemical ingredient. This is part of learning what they did or what have you. Numbnuts! Listen up!

I know it tastes acrid! Tasty, tasty, tasty! Oh, wait, the acronym was T-T-T. Tasty, tasty, tasty. It wasn't T-E-A, it was T-T-T. But what it meant was taste every alchemical ingredient.

Tasty, tasty, tea. But what it meant was taste every alchemical ingredient. Tasty, tasty, tasty. But anyway. If you think about it. Did it work? I don't know. It's easy. Well, look. Different.

Yeah. Anyway, Piran, that'll help you get. He's not listening. I think that's convincing. He's making tea. I guess. Maybe just talk to my owner. That is a man who has, I guess, made a lot of ghosts he does not want to be haunted by.

I suppose we all have our ghosts, though. I feel like I'm going to be very annoyed if we fight ghosts later and I gave some to Piran. Just to calm him down. That will be funny. Well, once Piran's convinced, I guess we Me, Piran And a couple of other Climby guys Yeah Will

Sort of You know Get into a position basically Sure I'd say there's six of you total So it's you, Piran Four others Cool

I guess before that I might check on Iris As well And yeah Also I check in on Iona And see how she is doing just in general you could maybe do those at the same time after she's satisfied that

Pyrrhon is no longer suffering Iona loses interest in that and turns around and wanders over to check on Iris so you can do those at the same time Iris is sleeping softly thank you for looking after her.

For everything you did. She turns around and reaches out a little sarcastically, but not like in an attacking way. She reaches out and sarcastically says, I own the mirth song. A pleasure to meet you. Hector Dragonspin. This little girl I would have moved heaven and earth for.

It is not trouble. It's nice to actually have a true ally here, to be honest. Someone with the same moral compass. Barovia, it is known for two things, darkness and danger. Neither of these things create heroes. I have seen them kill them, though. Thank you, nevertheless. No, of course, of course.

Maybe put a hand on Iris' hand and maybe just kind of, yeah, maybe just utter a prayer for safety, probably for Pena. Yeah, I was going to ask, whose prayer? Who are you praying to at night? Yeah, at this point, Pena or I guess the morning lord at this point, just a light lord, a light god, sorry. Iris, at your touch, Iris turns in towards you. And, yeah, she kind of just, you know, like someone might, as they're sleeping, she shifts a little in her sleep and makes a sleep noise.

You know, one of the classic. Yeah, like a little murmur. Yeah. Hand on like a shoulder, brush away like the hair or something like that and may the light of the night bring you into the morning. I'll see you soon. Maybe while I'm waiting, while that's happening, I'll be thumbing through

Durax's Emmanuel the Monster just to kill some time, looking at his old notes. As Hector, you comfort Iris and before you leave, maybe Iona engages you in a little conversation. It feels a little bit like small talk, but for some people it might not be. Iona very openly talks to you about, or if you allow it,

she very openly talks to you about love and relationships. Yeah, I let her talk. Basically, I listen. I sit down, Adam, and I listen. As a good ally, I sit down and listen. She, it's a, if you want it to be, it's a conversation. But if you don't open up much or if you don't open much and you also don't leave, she does most of the talking. I'll like it.

I'll open up and, again, I'll appropriate, but I'll let her lead the conversation about what she wants to talk she yep just talks about people loved and lost mostly lost there's a lot of tragic love in her past you know fill in some like you know gaps in conversation about you know the loves you have as you know a kid a teenager those kind of things and then talk maybe about like you know, I guess the monastery or like the church, it's like they don't really give you a lot of time for shockingly love. She gives a sympathetic noise. They seem to care more about what you can do with a sword or a miss. I have never seen institutions of any sort be the type where if love were to blossom in such places, it is as the flower poking through concrete.

I kind of nodded like, yeah, I'm beginning to realize that quite a lot. Good luck out there. Look after yourself and look after them. And same to you. I mean, if something were to happen to the Burj Al-Masr there, I would not be upset. But probably for the best that you look after her. Yes, I'd have a bit of a shrug.

Unfortunately, something bad would have to happen to her multiple times again and again and again. Yeah, maybe then just look after her. And I'll see you soon. And meanwhile, you are, Pip, you are studying Durak's book? Yeah, I'm just reading through it, looking at his old notes, going over,

like, I've probably done this thousands of times, but comparing his notes to mine, again, I imagine a lot of them are similar. Partway through, you begin to notice that he's kind of also, before he died, he was kind of also working on memoirs. That's so durak. You see a lot of those strikethrough on lines.

Like the classic writer thing of he gets one sentence in and then immediately is like, no, it's bad. It's wrong. You do see at one point one of the many strike through. No, it's bad. Start again. One of the many ones of that as you're flipping through is of all of my achievements, I've always thought my greatest is Pip Mandarin.

Oh, I think the moment Pip reads that it's like he gets to the end. Eyes get very wet. And then I immediately flip the page to the next one immediately flip it to like ghost ooze and just start reading about that as much as i can also if i can overhear their conversation about love and loss yeah some part of pip's mind is being like if i don't mention keating don't talk about keating i don't want to overhear you about your and keating's relationship while I'm here. You then at one point would definitely need to be like, ooze, ooze, ooze, ooze, ooze. I start reading it out loud. I completely forgot, but absolutely.

She at one point mentions that she had a very quick fling with Keening. Probably at that point I'd close the book and I'd go over to Pyrrha and be like, how's the tea? Here's the tea. Great, great. You feel protected from ghosts? Well, I figured. You said a little bit over time. But if I had a lot all at once.

Right. Yeah. Okay. He is drinking an entire pot. He's drinking it like he needs to chug. Like if he gets it in quick, it'll work better. Yeah. Tell me about yourself, it'll work better. Yeah. Tell me about yourself, Piran.

Tell me, I don't know, where... Born in hell. Right, right, right. Sold to an arena. Yes, yes, yes. Stuff Pip knows already. So he doesn't have to hear that.

He's engaging father was a merchant right i see yeah okay and then uh once they say their goodbyes and i'm they're not talking about it anymore yeah i go all right pyrrhon let's uh let's boot uh is it uh if it gets into your lungs Does that still work It's just gonna perfuse your body Perfect

Immune to ghosts He doesn't go that far Yeah As we're walking Like getting all ready To walking past these Period Immune to ghosts now

Yeah We'll see you on the other side See you on the other side Good luck The fucked up boys. They're trying not to think of something. Hopefully you can get a tea that can just, you know,

keep away those bad memories. We'd all love that tea. At some point, while you've been doing this as well, Bigfoot Paul has come back and he grabs a huge chunk of the people here and heads off with them to meet, well, not the Burgermaster,

but to meet the Burgermaster's soldiers. Cool. Between Cavendish and Bigfoot Paul and the Burgermaster, where each of you are to wait and kind of the path that you are to take has already been prearranged. Cool.

Although everything, once you are inside take has already been prearranged. Although everything, once you are inside, that's where the planning ends. That's where improvisation takes over. This is, it's like, it's Barovia. Undercover of darkness, but yeah. It's always a little dark. Darkness or dusk.

It has, though, what little sun kisses Barovia has slinked away as night has come, though. So it is exceptionally dark. The town is illuminated by the fires. Well, yeah. Yeah. Fair enough.

We'll stop. By the several fires that have yet to be put out. I just want to get how surreptitious we have to be, like my contingency. Yeah, yeah. Well, there's no rhyme or reason to where the light is, so you can slink through the darkness. You don't have any trouble getting to round behind the abattoir. And Pip, you and Piran similarly have no trouble getting to your prearranged point. In the darkness, Piran dishes out some grappling hooks and ropes to everyone.

some grappling hooks and ropes to everyone and then all of you throw your grappling hooks up and slowly scale the side of the building. Scary roll. Could be over before it started, really. Blood and

sand. I play one of my bad boy cards. It's supposed to be a sandstorm, but I'm calling it a snowstorm because that makes more sense. Fair enough, fair enough. A snowstorm suddenly rolls in. Exposed creatures must make a constitution saving throw or take one point of slashing damage and be blinded until the storm stops. Oh my god. Okay.

That's good. Yeah, that's awesome, dude. Those of you not currently scaling the side of a building can just find shelter. Cool. Those of you scaling the side of a building need to make con saving throws. Okay. Hanging off the side of the building,

pulling my scarf up around my face and my sort of cloak down over my eyes. Obviously, unfortunately, being draggable, my snout is always out the front. Somebody should invent some kind of snout warmer. Maybe that's what I'll do when I retire. Yeah. To be honest, you could just get a leg warmer and just put it on you.

And just push it over my snout, yeah. I mean, you wouldn't be able to talk. It's elastic a little bit. If it's elastic, I could. Better still get the words out. Anyway, both of you make your initial saving throw as you climb the side of the building. It hits you so fast, it feels deliberate.

And it could be. Yeah, that would just not be unexpected. Yeah. Little snowflakes are thrown at you like ninja stars. Oh, no. Slashing at any exposed piece of skin. You get up onto the roof. Piran, looking at you,

he is about to say something, but then it occurs to him that you will not be able to hear him. So he instead just points at a part in the roof. The six of you make your way over there,

and he slowly starts removing tiles, which you obviously help him with yep you take one point of slashing damage oh no and i'll blind it okay now how am i gonna get down a smokestack while blind what i keep thinking is that the smokestack will at least be warm yeah yeah yeah yeah okay uh you yeah you're blind what do you do will at least be warm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You, yeah, you're blind. What do you do?

Okay. Am I blind? Just like the snow storm is too much? Yeah, the snow has, you've got snow blindness. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Oh, no, wait. Doesn't that require the sun? Yes. You, the- It's just too thick. Well, those slashing little things have hit you in the eyes. Okay. And you're blinded while you're in the snow now. Okay.

Can I get close enough? Can I kind of still sense where Piran was, at least? You know where he was a moment ago, yeah. Can I head in that direction to reaching out, grabbing in the snowstorm to try and get him close enough that I could say something he could hear? Yeah, sure. Maybe like, guide me to a smokestack. I need to get out of the snow.

One moment, one moment, he says. You can hear, no, not hear, you can't hear much. You can feel him rummaging around still on the roof. You can tell that he's still taking tiles off the roof. He then grabs you and forces you down. I assume you don't resist him. Yeah, I'm not resisting, yeah. And he puts you into a little

cubby, a little hole that he has made in with the tiles. You won't be able to access the building from here but you're in like a little alcove in the roof, essentially. When that happens, he clambers in with you. Everyone clambers in. And you have a moment of respite from

the snow. The blindness fades. Sweet, cool. The blindness fades. All right, sweet, sweet. All right, I guess I can't see from in the little cavity, though. Oh, no, now you can. You blink. There was some blood in your eyes. Oh, no.

You blink that away, and now you can see several of the smokestacks. Pyrrhon points at one of them, and you kind of still need to yell over the snow, even though you're out of it. I think that one will give us the best opportunity. It's near the rear. All right, I give him just like a thumbs up in the cavity.

And then I guess we like wait for maybe a moment where the wind is like, obviously it's not going to stop or it's like died down slightly. And then we make a run for it. It's going to be so hard to throw our... Yeah, I was just rolling for that. Oh, God. Okay, Piran lands his with practiced ease. hard to throw our grapple hoaxes. I was just rolling for that. Okay.

Piran lands his with practiced ease. You, however... Oh no. You did really badly. Do you have anything for a dexterity check? Because you might lose your thing. Oh no.

Double your proficiency bonus. That will not be enough. Strength. Nope. Wait. Reroll any dexterity-based check with advantage. There you go. You want that. Alright. Oh, get a good boy card. Hell yeah.

Easy come, easy go. Easy come. Yeah, exactly. You throw the grappling hook and for a moment you realize, oh, no, I'm not holding the rope. Whoa. And you see it looks like it's about to sail clear over the chimney and then just be lost.

You very quickly grab the rope. Arresting its movement like that causes the grappling hook to jerk suddenly to a stop and somehow, instead of overshooting, it perfectly lands in the smokestack. Piran looks at you with astonishment on his face and then over the snow he calls out, did you mean

to do that? I should just shake my head. Ah, he says. The astonishment fades. Alright, I'll start climbing. You will both need to make that check again You are blind Hey at least I have the rope I can follow the rope

I've given myself a rope line to follow You're on 67 hit points Oh god okay Alright you both climb Okay Thankfully Do not fuck this up. And you and Perrin manage to get to the top of the smokestack.

Well, I need to pull the rope up and then drop it down the other side, presumably to climb down. Well, you do that blind. So that's going to be with disadvantage. Do you have anything for a dexterity check? Because you got real. You will still fail, but if you double your proficiency bonus, you aren't going to fall.

Well, Adam. Well, Adam, I think you answered your own question there. Yeah. You were about to fail by so much that you would just fall. Oh my god. Instead, you know that you fucked it up. And Piran, meanwhile, he sets his up. And then, I guess highs or lows?

Will Piran help me? Yeah, that's the question. Let's say lows. Lows? Okay, you feel Piran's hands on your hands. Thank you. He does something, and then he takes your hands, brings them down to where he has placed your grappling hook.

Great. Oh, you should roll for that. That's a really bad expression. Yeah, it's fine. The two of you climb down the smokestack. Is it at least warm in the smokestack? Or is it too warm? Have I kind of replaced one thing with the other?

Do you have any ability to hold your breath? No. I've just realized. Okay, that's fine. That's fine because you know to hold your breath going in. Yeah, yeah. You can't. There's smoke.

Yes, yes, yes. It's filled with smoke. Oh, yeah, absolutely. You cannot breathe. And I don't just mean there's no air here to breathe. I mean, if you breathe, you will be inhaling toxins. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hold my breath.

You have to hold your breath, yeah. Maybe even you knew this was going to happen. And this is kind of funny to imagine for your snout. But you and Pierron both placed little clothes pegs over your noses. Maybe I do need to get something to put over there. Like wads of wax into the... Yeah, you figured something out ahead of time. You knew that this would be an issue.

Yes, absolutely. The two of you climb down the smokestack. You are still... You're not in the snow, but you're still blind because of the smoke. True, true, true. You will both need to make one more climb check. Okay, both of you know when you need to avoid the fire.

Yeah. Now, one final and very important highs or lows. Highs. Highs? Yeah. Okay, cool. You come out. Yeah.

You see that there is an opening before the actual fireplace. So there's several entrances to this smokestack. This one appears to be, it's quite obviously an upper floor. Yeah. You open it up. And when you climb out, Pip, you are immediately like, oh, my God. You are in the barracks. Oh, okay.

This smokestack quite obviously also provides heat to this room. Okay, fantastic. You can see there are sleeping guards in beds, and you can see the door right on the other side of this room, but right ahead of you. Fantastic. Can I gesture for Piran to open the door? He nods, and he creeps over to the door.

Are the other four guys with us? Yeah, they also are. How many guards are there? Great question, actually. There are... Napping away. I wasn't expecting that you would get this close immediately. There are 19 guards in total resting here.

Well, I'll just at least try and spread out the other guys so that we have our weapons aimed at the guards, just so that we're ready to kind of, not coup de grace them, but if they do wake up, where they're immediately with a sort of surprise attack. If Piran sees you do that, he stops, and then he gestures, he points at himself and points at the sleeping guards.

Yeah, he's probably better at that, hey? Yeah, I do like a let's swap motion, and I'll go and open the door. Oh, Piran puts up a hand. Yeah, yeah. If you start creeping across the room, Piran puts up a hand. He points at the five of you, and just points at the ground in front of you. You can interpret that however you want.

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