D&D is For Nerds - Barovia III #29 Dragonsbane

Episode Date: August 24, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you, Rogers. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Here's a show that we recommend. Welcome to Sincerely Sloan presented by Uninterrupted. I'm your host, professional tennis player, wife, parent, and entrepreneur Sloan Stevens. As an athlete and as a person, my journey has had a lot of twists and turns, from moments of adversity and doubt to unimaginable triumph and satisfaction.
Starting point is 00:00:45 Throughout the season, I'm joined by some of the biggest names in sports, entertainment, culture, and a few members of my tribe. Our conversations keep it real and push it past skin deep. We reveal the perspectives, routines, and products that allow each of us to show up at our best. Join me on my journey of self-discovery and many, many laughs along the way. Sincerely, Slán. You're listening to the Sans Pants Network. Therefore we are imprisoned and the fog is the bars of our cell and our jailer is Baron Von Strahd. As far as I can tell there's no way to escape other than possibly by dying.
Starting point is 00:01:52 Maybe by being eaten by a wolf, let's say. This would be my read on them. Imagine Pirran with less cowardice and a more pronounced lack of morals. I don't know about this place. Corrupts us all in the end, right? Even a silver dragon is not immune. Yeah. And I am not as powerful as a silver dragon. So this engineer, as much as I loathe it, is already been proven to be somewhat useful. Yeah. Hey, perhaps it's a matter of the devil you know.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Pfft. Pippa's stressed by that conversation. Hector is not doing well. Hey, let that... let's just take it one day at a time. That's all we can do. If Paul finds you. That's all we can do. I'll be in the first group. I don't know what you plan on doing, but I'm going to be leading the way at least.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Tip of the spear, first to fight. I think that's a good idea, Paul. I think that's smart. If you wish to be there with me, so be it. But the two of you, you are gravely wounded. I believe perhaps not the first. Can I just cast Healing Hands on myself? Uh huh, just for that nine little extra hit points. Sure.
Starting point is 00:03:11 Is my combat hit me? When you do that, I grab your wrists and I say, you know, Cavendish is right. You don't have to be here for this. No, it does not sit with me to send people into their death and I'm not willing to do the same. Alright, okay. I'll take second wave then. So, Hec, are you going to be on the first? I'm thinking I'll take second wave because I'll be mostly providing support with arrows. So I'd let the first wave go in. Maybe I'll explain this.
Starting point is 00:03:39 I think we let the first wave go in, engage the dragon in combat. Second wave, I want to be mostly archers, crossbowmen, people with ranged magic, and we can provide support, some kind of support to the frontline fighters. And then perhaps if we have the third wave be whatever fucking healers we have left and they can provide aid and healing to those already wounded in the first two waves of the battle. Okay. It's five minutes here, so we have...
Starting point is 00:04:06 Where do you want to be, Hec? So I'll put myself and Gorob and Lushen and Tarpos. I think we should probably be in the first wave. Smart. Uh, Gorob and Lushen. So, do you want to put Tarpos in the third wave then? Is Tarpos... Of the adventurers left,
Starting point is 00:04:23 can I mark any by their clothing as healer types? Some are clerics, but they are very weak. Yeah, well, whatever. Tapos, despite the fact that she doesn't actually know Cure Wounds, only Healing Word, is still probably the most powerful healer by a bit. Regardless, yeah, well, let's put Tapos in the third wave then. In the third? Okay. I can take Cavendish, because Cavendish has his magic spear that fires something. Best have a conversation with him about that. I'll figure
Starting point is 00:04:51 that out when we're not about to engage in another big battle. Yeah. Magic club. Who knows? You definitely don't seem to be clubs. They look like them, but they definitely aren't. He doesn't use them like that. Yeah, no he does not. Also, I'm just assuming to fill out ranks, there will be the kind of like adventurers and mooks. Absolutely, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, first wave I've got for named characters. I've got Bigfoot, Paul, Gorob Lush, and Hector. Anyone else? Any other named characters?
Starting point is 00:05:22 Who do we have left? I guess I would ask Iona and the Berger Master. Like, where... Berger Master's second wave. And Iona, I'm like, where would you like to be, Iona? Another question is, who is guarding or looking after the engineer?
Starting point is 00:05:38 Or is we sending him into the Valley of the Beast? That's your choice. He's very willing to fight for us. Why, I couldn't say, but he's willing to do it. What can he do? Oh... Well, take me to him. Oh, okay. He's sitting quietly, smoking from his pipe.
Starting point is 00:05:54 You there. Yes? You... You can wield a... sword, a spear, a club. What do you do? I detest weaponry myself. Okay. I have a light crossbow but I don't really use it. I am capable of magical attacks and improving
Starting point is 00:06:17 the attacks of others or defensive abilities of others. If you were to take down a... I also have a... You went down. If you give me a moment, I can construct a... well... a... a... Enchanted Suit of Armor. He's very clearly dumbing down what he just said.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Enchanted Suit of Armor is not like... is not adequate to what he is going to do. It's a you might call it an iron golem, but I would not describe it like that myself. My creations don't have magic in them. And you construct the iron golem. How long does that take you? Shouldn't take me longer than a few minutes. Okay. I'm assuming. I can only make the one though.
Starting point is 00:07:11 It requires a special item. I only have one of. What's the item? He flips his hands around until one of them is holding on to... I instinctively go towards like a hammer. One of them is holding onto, it looks like, obviously you once again don't have these words to describe it, but so that you know what you're looking at, imagine an atom with all the little electrons circling around it.
Starting point is 00:07:36 Imagine that, but it's made out of golden metal. Not gold, but a golden metal. Okay, so it doesn't look like he's killed something to get that right? No. Okay. All right. That like he's killed something to get that right? No, okay Yeah, that's that's all heck. That was It looks a little bit like a gyroscope It's as he brings it out You can see there's a glow a light glowing within it and it's constantly moving all the little particles swinging around in chaotic directions
Starting point is 00:08:00 And can an iron golem fit on the escalator I can do a quick calculation uh-huh right now yes switch flips through until he's got the chalk again and he quickly quietly does some calculations on the board yes I think it'll be fine on the escalator compared to some of the people here in armor it might even be lighter a big component of if something will or won't fit on the steps that I had to account for is He for the first time ever stops. There's no emotion to this, but he's quite clearly considering his words, which you've not heard him do Foot size. Anyway I should be able to make it with a number of feet small enough to minimize any issues. If
Starting point is 00:08:57 you were to try to take out a dragon what would you do? A dragon? First thing you'd want to do, he starts writing with a chalk again. Any design document concerning a dragon would need to address three primary things. First, it's breath weapon. Depending on the type of dragon they'll have. It's silver. Pardon?
Starting point is 00:09:23 Silver. A silver dragon will emit a cold breath weapon and then a paralyzing breath weapon. One would need to construct perhaps some sort of gas mask for the paralytic effect and then some sort of heat suit for the chilling effect. I don't have enough time to equip everyone here, really only myself. But it's something you should be aware of. Aside from that, the second most important thing
Starting point is 00:09:55 is that dragons obviously are capable of flight. We would need to fix it in place or achieve flight ourselves. This is less easy. I could devise something to allow one to three people flight, but that will take a significant amount of time. I couldn't give you an exact amount yet. I'd need to draw a different design document for that. Finally, of course, a dragon's most literal and fearsome weapon is its terrifying presence.
Starting point is 00:10:31 The mere sight of a dragon causes people to run in fear. However, I calculate a near certain percentage that we are not fighting any regular silver dragon below us. Correct. From hearsay and rumors, my least favorite form of information, I deduce that this dragon is perhaps undead and even headless. That is correct, yes. On the money. Oh, and flayed. Without its skin, its armor might be easier to pierce,
Starting point is 00:11:03 but I wouldn't count that as a guarantee. Okay, right, so what can you do quickly? We have, how many hours do I think we have until Ludmilla wakes up, basically? Until Ludmilla wakes up, you have, I believe I said 24 hours. Yeah, so it's been a few? It's been like maybe two hours? It's been two hours at this point, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Within time parameters allowing for the average vampire regeneration, I could construct myself a mech-a-nut, a suit of armor, and then probably don't have time for anything else really, I'm afraid. Not much to help with Combating the dragon and how long would this suit of armor take you to make the suit of armor? Not long at all. I could have it done before your teams already at the escalator Maybe you're in the first wave All right with your eye and got him one more question. Yes
Starting point is 00:12:05 Who went through the teleportation circle? You get possibly the most frustrating response that you have since you arrived at Barovia. I wasn't looking. Hey, hey, hey. Does that ring true as well? Yeah, you think he just genuinely didn't care and so he didn't pay enough attention to notice Do I see like frustration rising on Hector's face? I have to assume. Oh, yeah Hey, let's
Starting point is 00:12:36 Let it go. I was busy with my circles at the time which someone interrupted at the time, which someone interrupted. What was the circles for? I was calculating a plot for a heavenly body, waiting for the optimum time to create a gemstone. Heavenly body? What do you mean? Though you can't see them above us, there are stars still in the sky. Very frustrating actually, because I need some of them to be in a specific pattern to make a specific gemstone. You could call it a light crystal, energy crystal. Crystal
Starting point is 00:13:19 is really a poor word. Why would you need the gemstone for? It doesn't matter. To power something. And something being? Haven't decided yet. How did you come to be in Barovia? I was trying to create a machine to traverse through the planes of existence.
Starting point is 00:13:39 I guess I was successful, but my calculations clearly were off. I arrived here in Kuchery, well, nearby. And then you were picked up by... Yes, that's correct. Lude Miller? Yes. Okay. Very direct with you, huh?
Starting point is 00:13:59 Could you devise a something to get us out of here? I have theorized about such a device it would take time and one of those crystals. I estimate provided I can finish my circles it should take me no longer than 32 years. A trivial amount of time. Truly Zamjado was not built in a day. Make your suit. Make your golem. I think I've found the tip of the spear.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Alright then. Keep a watch over him. I say to Pip. Oh right, okay, yeah, I can do that. And then I go back to Bigfoot Paul and we start getting everything ready. He works at a blistering pace. He quite clearly knows how to do it. It's like he's assembling Ikea furniture from memory.
Starting point is 00:14:53 Whoa, that was a buff. He's quite clearly done this before. It takes him very little time whatsoever. And then he has constructed. You don't know functionally how this differs from an iron golem. It looks pretty much exactly like an iron golem, except there's a cavity inside for him to climb into. What the hell?
Starting point is 00:15:11 Okay, alright. Which, once he has constructed it, he places that little power source, he places it in the head of this creature. The creature's designed in such a way that his arm goes into its arms, his legs go as far into its legs as possible, but not really very far. And then his head goes in its head. When he's inside, it begins closing itself around him. Two little green eyes turn on, and you hear, you can't see his face anymore, but you hear from within the suit, ready. I'll let Hector know when we're ready to go.
Starting point is 00:15:48 Alright, so it'll be him and his suit of, like his, the iron golem, did he make an iron golem? What did he do? Do you look over at me? I look over, what is... He's in it. Steam starts shooting out from the back and the suit starts walking forwards towards the escalator. Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss minutes, all you hear is the slow clockwork mechanisms beneath your feet, working to send you ever further into the darkness. A stench, which has been here the entire time, begins to get stronger and stronger. You eventually cannot smell air at all, but you smell only the scent of rotted, rotting, and
Starting point is 00:16:49 otherwise flesh. Eventually, the first line, Bigfoot Paul, Gorub and Lushen, Hector and the engineer, you reach the bottom. The escalator ends maybe with a half a foot drop for you to sink into the flesh beneath you. You all are deposited as the conveyor belt, the escalator, the stairs flip upside down and then on the bottom begin slowly making their way back up to the top. You immediately, as soon as you touch flesh, you sink up to just past your knees
Starting point is 00:17:30 in the slop beneath you. It is blood and gore and guts accumulated over the course of countless years, decades, maybe even centuries of slow, slaughtered work here. Cool. Just before I think, I guess, hop off the escalator, is I would have tried Divine Sense just so if it is literally beneath us, I could have a bit of a step into the open neck wound. Yeah. Uh oh.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Just to kind of give me, myself, a little bit of direction if I the open neck wound. Yeah. Uh-oh. Just to kind of give me, myself a little bit of direction if I can, if it even even works. A strong sense of necromancy, undead, filters through all around you. It's almost an impenetrable fog. It settles on everything, touches everything. And anywhere where it's a lot more, say, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:18:28 luminous? No, not within 60 feet at least. Hey, that's good. Yeah, honestly, at this point, you, as I said, just past your knees, you hit the slop and sink to that point. Eventually, your boots hit a level of solidness that you hope is the ground and not just calcified corpse. Either way, there's a solid floor that you are standing on. Ground is ground.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Yeah. Cool. It is, while there is liquid to this, it is mostly viscera. Cool. It is, while there is liquid to this, it is mostly viscera. Cool. The, your sight extends in this way in all directions. You see no walls, no ceiling. Okay. Um, alright, we'll, we'll, uh, scan around, taking like a 360 scan.
Starting point is 00:19:26 See if it's like anywhere looks deeper, anywhere looks more inviting for lack of a better word. Bigfoot Paul gestures and then the four of you fan out a little bit to give yourself some space and also to search a little bit. Yeah. Uh, the darkness is impenetrable. some space and also to search a little bit. The darkness is impenetrable. You, I assume using your dark vision, can see out to 120 feet. At that point, the darkness becomes complete.
Starting point is 00:19:58 There's nothing more to see. The second wave arrives. Oh, that's no good. Pip, Cavendish the burj master and Some brave adventurers who have decided to accompany you you similarly land in that gore and viscera You can see the first wave there with you, but nothing else Fan out Cavendish the burj master and the what adventures are with you begin doing this as well the third wave Tarpos Iona and more adventurers arrives.
Starting point is 00:20:26 They similarly do the same. Slowly but surely, adventurers begin trickling in as you begin expanding as more and more bodies are added to your search area. It becomes wider and wider until at a certain point, you've kind of, you're kind of all here. Damn. Still nothing? Still nothing. no movement or anything in the dark nothing there is a aura of Evil about this place some Something awful dwells here, and you all have a feeling of being watched
Starting point is 00:21:01 Heise was Hi, yeah, you you know, in a movie, how a movie about a monster movie where the monster is something like a shark or a crocodile, they always have that classic scene where you see just horns or the horns of the crocodile's back. Spine kind of? Yeah, the spine of the creature's back move through but then submerge itself down You for a brief moment spot viscera
Starting point is 00:21:32 moving at the edges of your vision and you see as a set of bony and fleshy spines Slowly move and then descend into the drink what? Spines, slowly move and then descend into the drink. What cardinal, like what on the clock, if I were to be like 12 o'clock, one o'clock? West, spines, in the guts. Or look over? Yeah, everyone casts their eyes in that direction. It's either submerged or withdrawn, you lose sight of it.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Adam, we've, I have a scroll of a locate creature. It's in Draconic. Okay. Can I have, maybe hand it to Pip? Or I know we can, someone, one of us definitely has. Pass it along the line at least, yeah. You fumble it along, and is Pip casting it? I can speak Draconic.
Starting point is 00:22:21 Describe or name a creature that is familiar to you. You sense the direction of the creature creatures location as long as that creatures Within a thousand feet of you. Mm-hmm that work. You're not sure I'll say it Do we have anywhere in our information like a name for this dragon? Have we ever like come across that I'm even like a name that the Associating it yeah with the Dragon Knights the Dragon knights served a silver dragon called Argenvost. Yeah, so it would be Argenvost. I'll say Argenvost and hold the scroll up.
Starting point is 00:22:52 That's the creature that you name? I think so, yeah. I think that's the assumption we're under. The burjimaster who is near you, Pip, before you finish the spell correct corrects you. Z-Corpse. Right. Yeah. Argenvast's corpse. You feel a, like a hook come around your navel and drag you in a direction.
Starting point is 00:23:14 You can tell that the corpse is ahead of you and moving laterally. It appears to be trying to flank. Okay. What I want to do... It's moving... Yeah, it's moving at about 200 feet away from you. I'll cast Hunter's Mark on it, just so I remember where it is. And then I'll point at it, and maybe fire an arrow at it too, just so people have a
Starting point is 00:23:38 direction to aim their fire. You'll miss, unfortunately. That's okay. But people get a direction, people start readying to attack it, but it has yet to surface. Okay. You watch, well, you sense, I should say, as it slowly circles around your formation to,
Starting point is 00:24:00 it looks like it's trying to get you from behind. About face, I say. Everyone starts moving and shifting, it continues to to get you from behind. About face, I say. Everyone starts moving and shifting. It continues to turn with you. Okay. It swims at a much faster rate than you are able to waddle through the water. Wow, through the gore. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:16 Fuck, I wish I had something, some kind of concoction that I could make that would make an arrow that casts light. But I have just nothing and um I can cast light on an arrow if you all were close Yeah, well if you want to be like give you know, yeah now I can do that I'll slosh through the water to Hector. Okay, you both will need to make athletics checks because it's slow moving You are moving at half speed, it is moving at full speed. So to get this done before it gets behind you, both of you need to make athletics checks.
Starting point is 00:24:52 No worries. No worries. Um, Hector, do you have anything for an athletics check? What would that be? A athletics check, a strength saving, oh, strength check, sorry. You can reroll a strength based check with advantage. That's the one You didn't do much better To be good at strength. But you are good at strength. Yes, that's enough
Starting point is 00:25:16 All right You managed to get to each other and you can cast light on the crossbow ball Cast light on the arrow cast light on the arrow cast light on the arrow. Cast light on the arrow. Right. Cast light on the arrow. And I'll make these precise shots so they have advantage. Okay. To hit. You're firing two, but only the first one has light on it. Whatever, I might as well hit him with the other.
Starting point is 00:25:34 Both hit though. Okay, fabulous. Have you charged this weapon? Oh wait, you have... Oh no wait, yes. You are using any specific damage type? I'm a little scared to use fire because of the amount of gas in this room. Sure.
Starting point is 00:25:47 So yeah, fire would be out. I guess cold also would be out. Yeah. It's a silver dragon. Do I think if I used lightning, it would have the same effect as fire? Like lightning in here could also ignite the gas? Potentially, it depends on what gas has gone on.
Starting point is 00:26:01 Acid it is, baby. Um. It depends on what gases got acid it is baby That's that's not accidentally ignite the whole room and kill everyone Well hit hit is there anything else you made them both precise I made them both precise so that they just had advantage and then both of your attacks deal an extra 2d8 each For the heavier draw. Whoa! That's huge! Dug dug dug! Boing! Dug dug dug! Boing!
Starting point is 00:26:32 42, 47, 54 points of damage. Jesus! That's pretty good! Holy guacamole! That's pretty good. When that happens, we're gonna go to initiative. Yes! And hopefully it's illuminated, although I guess it's attacking us now, so we all know where it is anyway. But it might- it might dive under. Still be useful to track it.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Pfft. I don't know how to describe the size of a huge dragon. From one end of its wing to the other end of its wing you could quite comfortably fit a bus okay okay that's huge it is yeah well its wingspan is easily large enough to accommodate a bus maybe a bus and a half to be honest uh-huh when they say it was flayed, does it also still have like its dragon, like the wing skin, or is that also in raggards?
Starting point is 00:27:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The webbing around its wings appears to be there, but you can see any skin has been, any scales have been peeled back, removed, in a series of strips cool You can see the markings for where? Argon Vost's corpse was seared with a knife of some sort and then peeled back Revealing the flesh beneath Jesus Christ
Starting point is 00:28:01 Argon Vost as you easily, is headless at the current moment. And you see blood slowly seeping from its giant, from the wound where its head once sat. Argonvost is no less intimidating for lacking its head though. And the creature's neck rears back as if it were to roar, but obviously no sound comes out. Instead, a burst of gas slowly spews upwards as its wings unfurl, and with one solid thwomp,
Starting point is 00:28:38 a ton of air is displaced shoved in all directions, and you are all buffeted with the gore kicked up and the wind thrown at you. Great. Argonvost has those two crossbow bolts stuck in its side, but it does not seem to care or mind particularly. Okay. Everyone in your party must make a wisdom saving throw.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Okay, people who pass, Hector and the Berge Master. No, sorry, Hector the Berge Master and John Cavendish. Okay. Fantastic. Everyone else fails. Uh-huh. And what, what, what, what, what, what, what exactly? What's the consequence of that, Adam, my friend?
Starting point is 00:29:18 What is the consequence of failure, please? We, we failed having a good time? You are frightened for one minute. Oh, God. That's a long time. You can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of your turns ending the effect on success Okay. All right, so they're afraid. All right. Okay. Okay Your entire formation is bathed in cold Everyone needs to make a reflex saving. Oh Oh god. Scared and then frozen. Not reflex sorry, dexterity saving throw. Hector you pass. Hey that's nice. Nicely done man.
Starting point is 00:29:54 Thank you. Alright I need heaps of dice. You're resistant to fire not to cold right? Yeah. Unfortunately. Should have been blue. should have been born blue as they say The world becomes colder than you could possibly imagine Ten twenty that's heaps. That's so much damage 33 points of damage so heck you take half of that. Oh yeah. So what's that? You're down to... Is that 16? Yeah, I think so. 16 points of damage, was it?
Starting point is 00:30:30 Yep. I hope you're on two. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I hear you. I hear you, Adam. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. Great. Great. What I'm worried, though, is that that wasn't its turn. Yeah. Like, I'm worried that is that that wasn't its turn. Yeah. Like fighting with Miller. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Like that could have just been some bonus shit it gets to do for a fucking laugh. For funsies. Yeah. As a bit of a goof. As a bit of a prank between friends. Okay. Um. Then, Argenvost takes flight.
Starting point is 00:31:03 You watch as the little light soars above you and slowly begins circling your formation. That can't be good. Then Hector, it's your turn. How far away? Before you can act. Yeah, of course. Okay. Of course.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Okay. Psh. Psh. Psh. Psh. Hooves. Tails. Entrails. Arms. Yes, Adam. Explode out. Pshh, pshh, pshh, hooves, tails, entrails, arms, explode out of the gore beneath you.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Everyone needs to make a constitution saving throw. This'll be that necromancy magic that perfused the area, I'm guessing. With Mounting Horror, you realize why this area has a strong Necromatic aura mm-hmm the entire cavity is one large Undead creature okay, I guess okay Okay, you are standing in it Ooh, Nelly. All right, so, mm. Mm. Pfft. Pfft. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest
Starting point is 00:32:12 and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers' internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you, Rogers. Welcome to Sincerely Sloan presented by Uninterrupted. I'm your host, professional tennis player, wife, parent, and entrepreneur Sloan Stevens. As an athlete and as a person, my journey has had a lot of twists and turns, from moments
Starting point is 00:32:50 of adversity and doubt to unimaginable triumph and satisfaction. Throughout the season, I'm joined by some of the biggest names in sports, entertainment, culture, and a few members of my tribe. Our conversations keep it real and push it past skin deep. We reveal the perspectives, routines and products that allow each of us to show up at our best. Join me on my journey of self-discovery and many, many laughs along the way. Sincerely, Sloan. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. Everyone except John Cavendish is grappled.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Okay. Fantastic stuff. And takes... Well, I'm about to go. I'm about to drop. Fourteen points of damage. Yep. It's not even a good Not Dead yet. It'm about to go. I'm about to drop 14 points of damage. Yep It's not even a good not dead yet. It's just automatically stabilized. I mean that is good, but I mean Okay, it's a really bad start. It's a really bad start not gonna lie. We're not off to a great
Starting point is 00:33:59 No, we didn't get any opening salvo. No, no, we got a little little shot I got off 50 damage, which you didn't care about which is so Hector it's your turn. How far away is the the corpse of the dragon? It's high up but you reckon it's maybe 80 feet away And we're oh, I'm sorry. Okay, your number writer. Oh, no, no, no I your number of 50 is whittled down to 31 So we're in the belt like we're we're on top of a monster
Starting point is 00:34:38 Okay I don't know if a Manuel has an for whatever we're in, to be honest. This is a Ludmilla special, so it appears. Yeah, I am... Okay, so the grenade that Pip had handed me, which is the mental warding grenades, so they would hopefully stop the fear effect. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, effect. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, very possibly.
Starting point is 00:35:06 So that's something. I am wondering, you've just fallen down. Yes. Which is great. I think it's wonderful. Glorious news. Yeah. I have one spell.
Starting point is 00:35:18 Ooh. Which, okay. And it's an action, so I can't do much. These great, cool bananas. I'm gonna just cast protection from good and evil on myself. That will hopefully give me a little bit of protection. Well, that's your action, I guess. Until the spell ends, one willing creature you touch is protected from certain types of creatures.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Yeah. Undead, being the notable example here. Protection grants several benefits. Creatures of those types have disadvantage and attack roles against you. You also can't be charmed, frightened, or possessed by them. If you are already charmed or frightened, you have advantage on a new saving throw against the relevant effect Mm-hmm. Cool. I'm cool. And I guess of the people who aren't No, it's just me and the
Starting point is 00:36:20 Fright. Yeah, and Cavendish and Cavendish maybe yes you Cavendish and the burgeon master are not afraid. Okay Okay, I might do I give the grenades to one of them, but then I'm like, but they are very powerful within their own right Okay. Okay. I'm like, do I give the grenades to one of them? But then I'm like, but they are very powerful within their own right. Okay. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah, well, we'll, um, play on, I guess. Let it ride. Pip, death saving throw. Yeah, let's do it. 14. That's a success.
Starting point is 00:36:39 Alright. Nice. I'm just thinking, my hex, my Poltapos and the other healers that that was the job. I'm not their job That's why we had the third division of the the the army going in yeah for situations exactly like this the adventurers begin hacking and attacking at the the thing creature that you are in yeah the unnamed Abomination that you are existing within mm-hmm the burge master She can't use a little ice magic on the thing Unnamed abomination that you are existing within mm-hmm the Burgermaster She can't use her little ice magic on the thing. Oh
Starting point is 00:37:10 But you know what she can do actually she spins around in a circle and Creates a wall of ice all around you the creature immediately begins to Thin out essentially as it's blocked by the wall of ice. Its large mass cannot get to you. Fantastic. Okay, that's very good. Still getting you a little bit. Hey, yeah. Sure.
Starting point is 00:37:36 And then it is John Cavendish's turn. John Cavendish, I guess he shoots at the creature. He shoots at Argenvoss, sorry. Yeah. Crack! Crack! Crack! Three shots, three hits. Nice.
Starting point is 00:37:56 56 points of damage. Nice. That's good. That's great. Although, is it? Is his weapon magical? I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is either. Some kind of wizard stick. A star dies but it does not surrender.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Alright, hit me with your wizard stick. That was Jon Cavendish's turn, it is Tarpos's turn, and she is is going to oh wait, but before she can of course Argon Vos swoops down with a wing bang He slams into Who hit Oh John Cavendish of course he slams into John Cavendish slamming John Cavendish into the ice wall and Shattering part of the ice wall like a Dam that is burst the creature begins flooding in through that hole
Starting point is 00:38:51 John Cavendish is gonna take oh he needs to make a deck saving throw He passes so John Cavendish takes oh describe John Cavendish as a hugely competent man Yeah, you know seven points of damage That's good with a bonus action tapas. Oh, that's so little tapas gives you Pip 15 hit points For what it's worth much obliged Hey, it's better than zero. It's better than being dead, Adam.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Just saying. Then she throws a ball of fire at the light retreating into the darkness. Misses. Damn it. That is her turn? Mm-hmm. It's Korrib and Lushen's turn. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Starting point is 00:39:42 Stupid barbarian! Time for the first wizard to show his metal! Boof! Boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop to have them in the party. Never been happier to have them around, honestly. Coming back from the dead and hearing that, beautiful. Useful. Gorub and Lushen begin raging and then they plug the hole. What does that mean? With their body, they just stand in the gap that was just made. They're going to take a lot of damage
Starting point is 00:40:27 Okay, okay, right the whole that argon Vosk made Stops like putting your finger in a burst dam nice Yeah, they're like a plug Both of them are swallowing so much gore. Disgusting. So it's the engineer's turn. The engineer raises one of his gauntleted arms and then a shimmering shield appears above him. Then the engineer reaches into like, what do you, what's that RoboCop?
Starting point is 00:41:09 Oh, RoboCop. He reaches into his leg and produces a little cannon, which he aims up. Boom, boom, boom. The engineer starts firing flack Dragon hell yeah Little explosions begin occurring in the sky Stressful stress a stressful fight. I didn't think the ground we were on would also be an enemy in the fight
Starting point is 00:41:40 Came as a shock Argon Vost is Bloodied, hell yeah. Okay. Then it's Bigfoot Paul's turn. Bigfoot Paul is going to, but before he can... Yep, of course. Of course, Adam. A second wing attack. And this time the Engineer needs to make a Dexterity Saving throw.
Starting point is 00:42:01 He fails. The Engineer is picked up and thrown into the darkness Well, no great loss. A second hole is made in the ice wall Okay, it begins flooding in again Bigfoot Paul Bigfoot Paul plugs the other hole They've truly rallied around Hector Dragon's Bane. Yeah. Oh and I'm so sorry I forgot but everyone who failed their fear save gets to make it again. Oh fabulous. So that was Tarpos. Who succeeds no longer feared. That was Gorb and Lushen. Oh no they're
Starting point is 00:42:39 raging. They're immune to frighten now. Nice the I'll roll just in case but oh, well the engineers still afraid wherever they may maybe Bigfoot Paul passed actually and Iona should have rolled Iona is frightened as well. Mm-hmm, but it's her turn. Come on. Yes. Okay, beautiful beautiful gorgeous Iona Okay, who's more important to her right now? Yes, Adam? Heck, you recover 22 hit points. Unsurprising. Fair enough.
Starting point is 00:43:15 As she heals you, Hector, she whispers into your ear, only cowards can run from death. You cannot escape it no matter what, and it is better to face it then let it stab you in The back you have bardic inspiration nice now. It's back to the top Mm-hmm, and I'm so sorry, but I'll get lost Holst turn now He can't do the breath weapon again fabulous news so he's glorious stuck with his Four three four attacks or he could cast a spell.
Starting point is 00:43:45 Okay. Or he could use Draco's Smite. That's silly. D&D is a silly game. Argenvost swoops overhead and as the corpse does so, you are all surrounded by darkness. You cannot see anything. Darkvision does not allow you to see through this. It is magical darkness. Your group begins panicking.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Those who were magically feared lose all unit cohesion. You hear people dropping weapons, cowering or trying to run away. Then it is heck your turn. But before you can act. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. You gotta assume when he says it's your turn there's gonna be a little extra source.
Starting point is 00:44:37 The hands, the limbs, the hooves, the mouths, the tails begin grasping at you again, and in the darkness you hear whispering. You hear the whispered words of those you have failed, cursing your name. Over the whispering, you can hear screaming and rending of flesh. You have no idea by how much, but your party is whittled down in size again You make the saving throw pip. Okay, you'll take half damage Hector. You take 20 points of damage Even with the protection Oh, I forgot about that. Um, oh wait. No that doesn't provide you any
Starting point is 00:45:23 Cool then it is that was oh Hector sorry yeah, it's dark. Yeah great. Hmm. You cannot see Argonvost You cannot see your allies you can tell that screams are beginning to die down. It's terrible Glorious, um, okay Before it went dark, what was around, like I know where the, like, so the ice wall, was that like a big circle that had encased us? Yes. And that was it.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Okay. Great. So I can't just run into a direction to get out of the darkness so that I can, I would be slamming into a ice wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty much. It's become a prison sort of. Mmm.
Starting point is 00:46:02 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's become a prison sort of. Do I remember, I guess, if I can sort of wade towards where Bigfoot Paul's hole was? You can, yeah. Try to wade towards Bigfoot Paul's hole. Okay. Uh-huh. You get there, it is unblocked right now. Something has happened to Bigfoot Paul's hole. Okay. Uh-huh. You get there, it is unblocked right now. Something has happened to Bigfoot Paul. That's alright. I will try to...
Starting point is 00:46:32 I'll try and plug the hole, Adam. Uh-huh. And I will start attacking the flesh. Okay. That I can imagine is there. Yeah. Alright. Yeah. Well, you get two attacks. I sure do.
Starting point is 00:46:48 Hit miss. Okay. And you are using your Mace. I'm using a Mace. So it's a D6 plus what else? Plus five. Plus five, yeah. I am wondering, I do have, if I hit, I crit.
Starting point is 00:47:02 Yeah. Is that worth you? Yeah, you know what? Hey Adam. Yeah? Hey, I hit I crit yeah that worth you yeah you know what hey Adam yeah hey I I hit so I want to crit okay soften them up quadruple damage and the target must make a DC 16 constitution saving throw on a failed save they have disadvantage on saving throws for 2d4 plus two rounds. It's pretty good. Quadruple damage. Yeah, quadruple. None to sneeze at. You deal eight times four is 32. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:30 Of course. 32 points of damage and it fails its saving throw so it has disadvantage on more saving throws for the next eight rounds. Hey! That's good. That's great. That's functionally longer, no matter what happens, that's functionally longer than this combat is gonna last. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:47:50 So just remember, between now and whenever this combat ends, for whatever reason. Yep, yep, yep. Sure, sure. I wanna, and I'll call out that, um, Bigfoot Paul is down, I am at the gap. Okay. You hear that over the screaming. And that was Hector, it's Pip, your turn. Okay, does Hunter's Mark let me still track it through the darkness? It gives me advantage to see it, to track it.
Starting point is 00:48:15 Uh, yeah. Well, you have advantage to find it. Okay, can I try and find it in the darkness? Sure. Yeah, you know where it is. Can I attack? Yeah, you can where it is. Can I attack? You can- Yeah, you can actually. Okay, now my next question.
Starting point is 00:48:27 Mm-hmm. A pinning shot will reduce it to zero- is it- to reduce its speed to zero. Yeah. If I hit it in the sky, will it fall out of the sky? I hadn't thought about this, but I would say yes. Okay. Tracking it with my hunter's mark, spin around with the crossbow,
Starting point is 00:48:42 twang, twang, where I think it is. I'm gonna say you still have disadvantage, that session check just allowed you to know where yeah, yeah First attack is a hit actually and then your second attack. Oh could have been a critical. Damn it Does it hit? Second attack a miss. That's okay hitting it once to get it to fall out of the sky. I'll take oh my Come on man, come on man come on man it fails to save us okay you deal okay the spice that the engineer added 2d6 acid a d10 plus 3 plus my d6 Vauntus mark so that is 33 points of damage. Nice. Good job. Maybe because it's falling, you lose track
Starting point is 00:49:27 and your second shot goes awry and you miss, but you hear distantly... Ooh, boom! Hell yeah. ..as Argenvost's corpse hits the ground. The End Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit Rogers.com for details.
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