D&D is For Nerds - Barovia IV #14 Return of the Great Assassin Vine

Episode Date: November 8, 2025

Here’s a horse, go track that very fast moving carriage. Why yes, it is indeed strange that all the creepy crawlies of Barovia know not to attack them. Why, isn’t it strange that those same creepy crawlies don’t owe me the same courtesy? Who do they think I am? Assassin Vine? It's just not cricket. Should have said to take me with them, drop me off outside the gates. Don’t worry! I won’t sneak into your spooky and terrifying probably full of ghosts castle, quite the opposite in fact. Just pinky promise me you won’t make a meal out of my meal ticket out of here and I’ll promise not to pay someone to drive a stake through your heart.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oi, lads, did you miss out on the Jaron's Outpost Kickstarter and wish you weren't such a big doofus? Well, fear not. Late pledges are now open and they'll be open for a little while, so just head to Kickstarter search for D&D for Nerds or Jaron's Outpost and slam that late pledge button. I've known many evil places in my time, but this realm, called Borovia, is among the most dangerous. A man could drown here, though he wouldn't need any. water to do so. This place is ruled by a man, no, more a creature, actually, known as Strade von

Zarevich. It is said that anyone who can slay him will be set free if they don't die in the attempt, of course. At a certain point, you and Rahadin kind of blazing a path. Both of you have had this slowly mounting suspicion that you are being watched. If your entire procession stops, you hear crunch, crunch, crunch, Rajan stops. Crunch, crunch, you stop. Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. Crunch, crunch.

Something's following. Right, something is... We position in a way so that it is, I guess, Gretchen between us. Who would be best in the front of the... I'll take back, and I'll let Rodden lead. I'll say, so you keep going with a new marchion? water? Is that what you're doing?

Well, yeah, right? Like, I mean, we're very much keeping that ear out of life. Keeping your head on a swivel. Well, Rahadan leads, you trail behind. You never catch sight of it, but you can tell something is following you. You do, I will give you this, you can hear it high and you can hear it low. Whatever it is, it can climb, and it sometimes does so. Okay.

The thing that nearly killed me, that wasn't leaving footprints. No, you didn't hear. It sounded like the wind when it moved. This is something walking. Okay, cool. All right. Okay. I'll see what the group, under the breath, there's definitely something that is following us.

Do we just try to ignore it, pretend it's not there, or do we try to face it head-on as we keep leading? It is either simply watching us or perhaps waiting for reinforcements. Either way, I think it best not linger in this place. Yes, of course. Right, yes. Well, let's keep going. Let's keep going. If we need to stop for any reason, then let's at least pretend like we don't know it's still following us.

And then at least when it jumps out, we can try something. Very well. Rahadin continues to lead. Hector, you feel like you're not certain maybe Rahad didn't just put this in your head you think you can hear two of them now Okay

So we can climb It's probably not wolves Wolves can't I don't know, dude Wolves can do a lot of crazy thing Barovian wolves there If they're Barovian wolves they wouldn't be bothering you They could be borkan

Borgian wolves But you don't know if that's a thing Yeah, I think they're At least Bortchia could be an aquatic environment For all you know Borture seals, they could be Yeah

A Bortchid diarist Seal or seal Okay Bortch and diarist seals be like PEP Manderin Plap Monderon Plap Monderon Okay

How close are they to the tail? Yeah I was like how close are we until we're at the lake edge. You're about half an hour from the lakes edge. All right. If they're going to attack,

they'll probably attack then. All right. I'll let the other two know that I think we've got now. It's multiplied, potentially. 10 minutes later? Mm-hmm.

No change. 20 minutes later, you think you hear four now. Okay, it is definitely, definitely multiplied. as you approach the edge you can't tell how many it's just quite a few now

you now you've also heard you in the last like 10 minutes you started hearing a new noise as well you hear like a from one and then another will reply they're communicating in a clicking language uh okay

all right I do I have I ever heard of a clicking language before I'm thinking bugs yeah I'm thinking bugs too I got a bad boy card could be anything it's definitely bugs it's definitely bugs you think it's the danger you actually know exactly who this is yep um pyrin maybe told you a story about this guy one time the assassin vine the dangerous assassin vine is a yeah a infamous killer named after a plant of the same name. I can't believe that they themselves are in Borovia. They specialize in assassinations

done in forests and jungles and natural environments. You distinctly, you very clearly remember Pyrin saying that the assassin vine communicated through clicks. All right. Okay. All right. All right. Well, with that in mind... I guess there's four of them.

I mean, he's recruited. Yeah, well, of course. I mean, he's stumbled into Borovia. Yeah. Like maybe he's recruited to some other people in there. True. No, that makes sense. It makes sense to me. Right. We start, I may be like, we just, we kind of like, right, now is the time to book it.

Like, up, up the speed, you know, we book it. All right. You start sprinting the last way. I'm very scared of assassin vines. The second, the three of you begin sprinting, you hear, the trees come alive and you can tell that the chase is on. The three of you need to get to the boats. I keep imagining, I don't know what these are,

but I keep imagining Frankenstein monkeys a nasty, scary thing. Okay, so all three of you failed. Ah, can I? Yeah. Can I use a... Whoa, how'd I do that? I cast a cantrip, I do not know.

Uh-huh. And I believe I don't know thermaturgia. Oh, okay. What would it be the dreaded assassin vine be afraid of the police okay assassin vine would they care about like you know righteous retribution would they care about like darkness creeping in

would they care about like booming voices I think booming voices I think if I was an assassin I would be scared of many like jail time jail time and also like more people there like you know you think you were assassinating like you know a group of three now could be group of eight yeah okay well do with thermaturgy

you miss everywhere like big booming voice thunder everything going on air like you know just a real scare off these this assassin vine and his cronies yeah all right what do you say what's the booming voice saying uh with cops and you're on doris assassin vine we know where you are you cannot hide um yeah uh yeah i guess like we know where you are you cannot hide you will be like found you will be chased. You will be hunted. You will be taken down. The assassin vine does not seem to care. Oh, no. It's too afraid.

It's so brave. The forest around you explodes and two of them land behind you, I guess, because you're trying to get to the water. They are behind you as you try to get to the water and you can just kind of see the lake in between the trees. You are very close now.

they're half human half machine Imagine a human's torso Okay About down to like the waist Yeah essentially And imagine as well Skin has been like cut open Peeled back and sometimes even outright replaced

And you can see cables and plugs and sockets Showing beneath Okay Each of them both of them have one human regular eye and one mechanical eye, which you can see is like a socket with an orb. The orb has, obviously, you wouldn't, Hector wouldn't know. This is just so that you know what you're looking at.

Hector wouldn't have these words. But the orb that sits in the eye socket is, imagine like a ball, a golf ball, where each of the little divots is a camera eye, and it rolls freely in its skull. Okay, well, clearly, you know, Assassin Vine and ended up in Borch's, realm and they've just

experimented on the poor guy. They've experimented it on Assassin Vine and his cronies. One hand... Well, I think it might be the Assassin Vine himself and they've split Assassin Vine into like four guys. One hand normal. The other hand ends in a strange mechanical socket which a utensil spits out of and then cycles through a bunch of

different options like a wrench, a screwdriver. Kind of like the engineer's hand. You would say really like the engineer's hand like really identical yeah to the engineer's hand in i also i said they ended at the waist from below the waist they are a did you if you ever seen have you ever seen wild wild west the movie with will smith yeah yeah of course so you know the villain of that get the actor's name but whatever he has that wheelchair that's also got the spider legs yeah of that it is a wheelchair with spider legs, which they land on.

When they land, the legs, which was what they were using to climb, like a spider, the legs come up, and then with rapid movement, they start wheeling down towards you. I can't believe they did this to a assassin vine. Wheels for speed, spider legs for climb. Okay. Okay. And we're in initiative. Oh, of course we are.

I reckon you can get to the boats. How far away could they be? And can these guys go in water? Probably. Certainly not impossible. I reckon, yeah. Yeah. Surely they don't have a third mode.

Spider wheel and boat. I reckon you'll be safe in the boats. Oh, by the way, you notice both of them have that maker's mark on them as well. Because, yeah, okay. The maker's mark, that just means that they're probably from that, you know, Arridaichi. Yeah, Madame Aririvirichie's robot realm. You want to know her name?

Eleanor. Eleanor Chichikovanka. Fonka, buttocki. Hector is your turn first. Famous hands. Famous hands. Okay. Okay.

Okay. So there's two that are basically have landed behind us. Yeah. And how close are they? They are, after their movement towards you, they're right in front of you. Oh. But you have, you're at the back of the formation. So it's you, Gretchen, carrying elf.

and then Rahaddin. Okay, so I can run as much as I can towards, say, Gretchen and... Gretchen's, like, you could reach out an arm and reach for Gretchen. Oh, I see. Very close. I mean, probably, actually, a bit further than that. There might be, like, five feet in between. Okay, what is between us and the assassin vines?

Between you and the assassin vines? Yeah, nothing. Currently. Okay, well, either side, like, is there like a tree or something like a knock-down? Oh, this kind of trees all around you. What's your intention? Well, I was thinking. of maybe using an electric blast

to, like, say, blast a tree to hit them at the fall on them, those kind of things. Hyes or lows? Let's go with highs. Remembering what happened last time I tried to fight inanimate objects. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, there's not your

forte. I guess it's force damage. Yeah, you could bring a tree down onto them. Okay. All right, well, I'd like to trial that. Okay. That's three Eldrick blasts at your level. I think so, yeah. Two?

That was three. Should still be enough. Hit, hit. That's a D-10. You fire two bolts of force energy into a nearby tree, and does it fall? Yeah. Yeah? It falls onto them.

You're lucky the tree was half dead and rotted inside already, because a healthy tree, you did not do enough damage. The tree falls down onto both of them. I'll make a dexterity save for both of them. They both fail. That's good. How much damage is a falling tree? If a falling tree, if a tree falls in the forest, how much damage does it do? I assume a lot, right?

Yeah, it's a whole tree. You'd think. You would hope. I'd hope that a falling tree does more damage than just hitting it with an Eldrick blast, do you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 13 points of damage to both of them. Okay. Hey, that's probably at least bought you enough time to get to the boat.

Yeah, if it's way I laid them a bit, Right, and then we try and hoof it, but I don't want to be the one, I don't want to be ahead of, like, Gretchen and Elf, if that makes sense. All right, it's the next turn. Oh, yeah. Those two, they have to get off their wheels and onto their little leg things to climb over, which slows them down a bit. But it doesn't slow them down enough to not be able to attack you, unfortunately. However, you get an attack of opportunity, on one of them at least, as they both walk straight past you. they don't care. They're going for Gretchen.

Of course they are. Oh, yeah. All right. Well, let's, yeah, attack of op, that one. I don't think you care terribly left or right. They're both going for the same targeted sense. Yeah, whichever one I can hit. That is a hit. What do you, are you, is it the mace they use or the spear?

Spear. All right. What's the source on this one? No source yet. Got to have a bit of a slip first. Yeah, fair enough. You deal a total of seven points of damage, and because your spear is magical, you overcome their damage resistance. Ooh, yeah. As they scuttle forwards, you can see as well, in the human eye, you can see that ember glowing behind it.

It looks like this is perhaps a new form of a Frankenstein monster. A mark two, some might say. Maybe just a side upgrade, yeah. You can see as well, as you clobber it, you have. fought a Frankenstein's monster. Yes, you know that they could take quite a pounding. These ones seem more agile but flimsyer. Okay. Interesting. That's good.

Then, donk, dunk, don't. Two more explode out. You could see rustling past those two more. If you do not get to the boat soon, you will be overwhelmed. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Great to hear. Love that

for everyone involved. Those two get to Gretchen and both of them they changed their little arm thing so that instead of any sort of weapon or tool it's a little claw thing which both of them fire and it wraps around elf

and they start a tug of war with Gretchen They want elf Good, good, good, good, great I wish I could say I wish I could say Gretchen is just like have it I wish I could just say Gretchen's like I don't fucking care take it

But Gretchen does put up a fight And she does manage to hold on to elf Okay, that's something All right, that is the Spider-Mex turn That's just, that's not what they're called Yeah, but it's for easy Sorry, the assassin vines Yeah, exactly

Then it is Raha Dyn's turn Raha Dyn looks at you, Hector And says, what is our plan? Free Elf and we get to the boats Right, right in rushes up, puts a hand on to elf and then both of them turn into mist and you see as that mist leaps 30 feet in the direction of the shores.

Excellent. Excellent. Oh, my God. Rahadin carrying elf makes his way to the boats. Perfect. And that is Rahidin. It's Gretchen's turn. Gretchen, looking at you, says,

I didn't want to save it anyway, but here we are. She turns and runs. Excellent. And, oh, back to the top. Hector, what would you like to do? Oh, cool. Well, yeah, I'll be like Eldrick blasting and then running. Well, running than Eldrick blasting, I guess.

All right. You fire a couple more Eldrick blast to slow them down. It doesn't look like it's doing terribly much, and there are now eight that you can see. Oh, my God. They overtake you. They're faster on the wheels. Okay. I was like, well, there's the eight, okay.

With an Eldrick blast, only two of them, the ones that were already ahead of you, managed to properly overtake you. Okay. There's six behind, stay behind. but those two are still in the front. Is there anything on the terrain that I can, like, instead of hitting them to, like, the tree again? Oh, I assume you're knocking over trees. As you get closer to the water, though, it begins to get thinner and thinner.

There's no good trees to block their path anymore. Okay. Again, if I can, the ones ahead of us, trying to hit them. Basically, I'm trying to make it as, like, yeah, hard for them to get. All right, so do you want to focus on the ones ahead or stop more from catching up? Let's focus the ones ahead. Okay, all right. Well, in that case, then, you've got two which are beating you by quite a bit, and then two more are passing you.

Oh, my God. All right. They move quick. And, like, the damage ain't doing much to them? You can't slow them down fast. You can't kill them fast enough. Okay, okay. All right.

Good luck us. Yeah. Get to that boat, brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what would you, so, you could, you don't have any space that you could put in Eldrick Blast, do you? pulsing or anything? No. I'm literally a worst warrior right now.

Yeah. Can you put your spear in the spokes of their... Can I, like, yeah, could I, like, use my spear to trip them if possible? You can trip them, yeah, absolutely. If they're, like, like, wheels and, like, try to break their legs or whatever. Again, trying to be most, like, targeted damage as we're walking along. You can trip one. Yeah.

If I'm, like, doing, like, an aldric blast, that's not doing shit. Oh, wait, you get two attacks. You could trip, you could attempt to trip too. Yeah, like, if I'm seeing, like, all right, trees aren't really here doing much. That's not slowing them down. Aldrich Blasks is barely hitting them. If I could, like, yeah, try and get, like, the tip of the spear into their spokes to trip them. Yeah.

This is technically supposed to be a fighter maneuver, so I'll allow it, but they get advantage on their save. Okay. Fair enough. You trip one. Yep. And that's it. Hey, one's better than none. All right.

So it is their turn. And you were targeting the ones ahead of you. So one of them tips over. the other one gets to Rahadin, who is by the boats now, fires, wraps around Elf again and tries to pull Elf in. Rahadin resists. Rahadin is able to hold on to Elf, but you can see the wheels from that mech thing are digging into the sand, kicking it up. Gretchen gets to it, picks it up and throws it in the fucking lake. Yep.

Rock on, Gregion. Excellent. With a splash, it lands in the water, and she cries out, swim, you freak. Okay, okay. Hector, you watch two more, whoa, overtake you. Okay. And you can hear more coming still. You glance over your shoulder, there's 12 now.

Okay. So how far am I to, I guess, elf. You would be 30 feet from Elf, who is with Rahadin. Rahadin's climbing into the boat. It is, that was the main. Mex's turn. It is Raha Dyn's turn. Raha Dyn with elf clambers into the boat and starts, he isn't setting off yet, but he's kicking off, kind of like letting the boat. So it's no longer, what do you call it? It's

no longer like dragged up onto the shore. Yep. Okay, cool. All right. Then it is Gretchen's turn. Gretchen clambers in. Oh no, Gretchen stands outside the boat and starts pushing it a bit out. So the boat is nearly properly set off. Hector, it's your turn? Okay, cool. You can, if you spend your action doing nothing else, you can be in the boat and gone. Okay. Or going. I should say. Can I, um, uh, push so it's like even further into the lake, rather than getting into the lake? I just want to help push the, push the boat. Oh yeah, like what Gretchen is doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically, I just want as far away from like the shore as possible, even if it means like, I'm in the water or

whatever. You get into the water and you can feel as the spider make the Gretchen threw into the water is thrashing about under the waves, but is not able to swim. Yeah, that's good to know. That's good to know. And you climb in next to Gretchen and the two of you start pushing the boat out into the lake. Or I should say boats. As a reminder, there are two boats that you have lashed together. Yes. Yes. You are, Rahadin is sitting in one. I'll say Rahadin is in the left one, which is the one that Gretchen was pushing. You are on the right, pushing the right side of it. Yep. And three Spider-Mex on the shore, all fire. All fire the little grappling hooks.

Okay. Rahadin is the only one currently holding onto Elf. Raha Din is not strong enough. Okay. Elf falls into the water and you can see as they're reeling it back in. Okay. All right. That was the Spider-Mex's turn.

It's Raha Dyn's turn. Okay. He needs to make a check. He's lucky. He climbs into the water. Wades, he looks back at the time. the two of you and he says keep pushing the boat into the water we will return you keep pushing in he wades back to elf grabs fumbles with her under the water and then they misty step back into

the boat again nice smart smart smart smart smart and that was rahaddin's turn it's gretchen's turn gretchen keeps pushing hector your turn you just want to keep pushing well how far away are now the spiders and... They're 30 feet away. Okay. So if we keep going, are they... Are we going to be out of range?

You can be 15 feet... You could, sorry, if both you and Gretchen dedicate to swimming, you can be 30 feet away. I'm just... 30 more in addition to what you are already. The grappling hook seems that that's maybe out of their range.

Yeah. Okay. How far can I fly? Flying to be 30 feet, but up. Okay, using Pythagoras' theory. Okay, can I, right, whatever, it's a, give it to me, I'll cast Radiant Soul, scoop up Elf, and I'm going to fly.

All right, you take Elf and you fly. How fast can you fly? Oh, what does it cost to do the flying thing? Is that a free action, bonus action? It's an action to fly? Sorry, it's an action to cast Radiant Soul. To get the wings, yeah. Yep, so, and I grab it in 30 feet, and I will try and move 30 feet in a diagonal up. In a... Okay. Yeah, no worries.

Okay. There's six of them on the shore now. Six. Yeah. All wrap around elf, and it's UV6. Hell yeah, brother. I'm a strong boy. Strength-based check.

It is a strength-based check. A re-roll would be helpful. Is that what it is? A re-roll with advantage, right? Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Let's do that. Oh, come on. There's six of them, dude. Yeah. They begin reeling you back in.

You take off, you get maybe 10 feet, and then you realize the tower starts getting further and further away. You are being reeled back in. Imagine your big wings doing the fom. Fum. Yeah, yeah. To try and push yourself back. You look down and you can see as the boat is now further than you are. Damn it, come I, fuck, dude.

Okay, okay. And at that moment, the boat breaks. Okay. You fucked up the roll. Oh, no. When you were lashing the boat together and I was waiting for a good moment to make it break. Well, the boat sinks slowly underneath the waves. Okay.

And that was their turn. It's Rahaddin's turn. What is he going to do? Okay. This is the last time he can do a story. spell, though. Rahaddin wades onto shore. He takes from a pouch a...

No, sorry, not from a pouch. He does this innately. He opens his mouth, sticks out his tongue, and there is a seed on his tongue. He takes the seed, plants it into the ground, and then out of the ground grows a horse. Sure. What? Okay. With one leg, another leg, it's head.

A phantom steed sprouts out of the ground and Rahadin mounts it. Rahadin can't get elf, but you can see that he means, quite obviously, he's like set himself up so that if you can get free, he can take elf. Gotcha, gotcha. You can see 24 Spider-Mex. Oh, God. Okay. They haven't all made it to you yet, but they're on their way.

That was Rahadin's turn. It's Gretchen's turn. Gretchen is kind of waiting her. way, floundering a little bit, but wading her way towards the shore. She gets there as well, draws her sword, and she starts trying to cut at the grapples. Okay. Cool. She gets one. Hey, that's enough, dude. Hector, it's your turn. You are moored by five max. So I'm, they're wrapped around me, or they're wrapped around elf? And I'm holding elf. Yeah. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Um, All right. Hmm.

Can I try and just yank her free, as it were. And there's five of them, you say. Do you have a, you don't have a blade, do you? Like a spear. You get a spear and, uh, yeah. Like, this could be whatever, but it's an action to turn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, if you get over to Zrahedin is closer to them.

So if you wanted to, you could fly down. Basically, you're on a 50 foot lead right now. On their turn, they'll retract it more, or they'll try to. but you could if you wanted to willingly go within 30 feet to get with Raha Dinn and the steed. And then with the steed's help, maybe you stand a better chance. Okay. So you know, because you can't attack twice and then move because trying to move with Elf. You can attack twice, but yeah, attacking twice with Elf.

Elf is a two-hand affair, unfortunately. As slight as it is. Honestly, could I just like try to grapple Elf back? Well, you already are. As in, like, to, to, like, to pull, okay. To, like, yeah, basically. Yes. She is a, Alfa's a Franken guy.

What parts have they wrapped on to? I like this. This is good. This is good shit. Hise or lows? Hise. Ours, why not? I rolled 96 or 4.

Oh, God. Which would you rather? Hise. Yeah. Sure? No. Adam, I'm not. Yeah.

Go lows. I'm never high. I'm always high. I'm always high. I'm never sure. Loes. Yeah. Are you sure? No.

We'll establish this. We don't know. We don't are. Jackson, would you like to help your friend? You've not said anything. Go lows. Go low's? Yeah, why not?

All right. They have all wrapped around Elf's right leg. No. Oh, yeah. I would like to look down at the, the, the, the, the leg, see where everything's being wrapped around. And I want to grab my, like, spear, but maybe just, like, by, like, the top of the shaft, near, like, to kind of the head of spear, and then see where the most appropriate, um, stitching to just slice open, to then quickly fly in the direction of the tower. If I can give it a bit of give, yeah, off we go.

I'm going to make a roll, not because you can't do this. going to say you can do it. I'm going to make a role to not destroy Elf in the process. Elf is on one hit point. Oh yeah, that's right. You undo the stitching very neatly and the leg

comes off very neatly. The mecs get the leg, but you get elf. You can fly. That was an action, but you can fly another 30 feet away, putting you 80 feet away. It's the mex's turn. They search, they're looking

around, you can see they're kind of like pause, they're not sure what to do. You are quite clearly out of range and there's a moment where you can see that all of them are like kind of lost for what to do. Raha Dien highs or lows. Yeah, man. Rahadin's choice. Yeah.

It's Raha Dyn's delight, dude. It's Rahadin's delight? Yeah. Yeah. Rahadine rides off with his horse leaving Gretchen Oh, rude damn booed Hector, you watch as the spider mecks

take Gretchen Okay She can't overwhelm them There's too many By the time you look back You can see that there is And don't get too shitty at Rahadian Yeah

Because there were 24 on the beach When he made that decision No, I know Now there's now The beach is fucking swarming with them There is no going back Hexta goes back You what?

Hector goes back. Are you fucking kidding me, dude? Yeah. He ain't doing that. Okay. You turn around. He's not leaving Gretchen behind. I'm not leaving Gretchen behind.

Okay. I have to... Well, Gretchen, well, in that case, then, you turn around. Gretchen isn't on the bank anymore. They, I wasn't even going to roll for her. She gets, like, mummified by these things. She is back in the tree line. Getting the water, Gretchen.

Why did she not get in the war? I, yeah, beeline, try and grab her. All right. I'm trying to, basically, yeah, I'm trying to, as much as I humanly can, beeline towards her. How close was Al-Sah-Din to where I would be? Raha-Din is 80 feet around the water's edge. Rah-Din, seeing you go back also turns back.

Because, like, if I could throw, you know, give El- Yeah, no, no, no. If you do that, if you, like, meet up, you can meet up with Raha Dian. Rah Dian, you like do a, he's riding below you, you're flying above him. You drop elf down, he catches elf. He gives you a nod, like a good luck, and then he turns back with the horse. I fly after Gretchen. All right.

Hell yeah. You can't do this to heck. Pip, we'll return to that. That's tomorrow's problem. Pip, what's going on with you again? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm dealing with, well, I'm not dealing with anything at the moment. Tarpos, with Gorob and Lushin make their way down that weird slope to get to the main area.

Gorob and Lushin everywhere that Tarpos goes, they call out, make way! Make way for the arch druid! First barbarians and wizard superiors only! I've yet to be able to tune that out, unfortunately. I'm doing my best, though. The Druid Grove seems cowed. As more and more druids come in, either by the sheer fact that it seems to be kind of the consensus, druids will kind of switch sides, or probably more likely the fact that they fear if they push against the current, they might be killed.

They'll be killed by the other druids, yeah, for sure. So you, the engineer, Iona and Cavendish get kind of like a breather. Tarpos Gorb and Lushin are kind of doing stuff with the druid. Yeah, yeah, sure. It's druid business now. You can see that Tapos is going from druid, from like little clitch, little click, sorry. Tapos is going from little click to little click of druids, kind of shoring up her power, making sure that the druids of the groves are behind her. Sure, I'll let her do that. I've got no issue. How's everyone looking in the party?

Like, health-wise, but also vibes-wise. Everyone seems, honestly, and kind of good spirit. Oh, okay, nice. Well, we did win, you know. The engineer looks at you, Pip, and says, I have to admit, that was an inspired choice. Which bit? Shooting at the root system.

Oh, yeah. Well, I just figured, you know, that's kind of the main problem for us. So, I mean, you know, form in eyes, engineer, they deform magic. And honestly, they have one of the most useful alchemical ingredients. that I can come across. I always saw alchemy is more of a side project to my expertise.

Well, that makes you've got a whole wizard in there. That's actually not true. Yeah, you've got like an eighth of a wizard in there. Is there like somewhere we can like sit? Yeah, you sit in like a central bonfire spot and you watch Iona and Cavendish

are having a quiet conversation together. They seem to be, You can tell they're, like, very friendly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They knew each other before all this. Yeah, yeah, for sure. They, the two of them are getting the bonfire going, and in a few moments you feel the warmth of the fire

spreading through this space. Yeah. Do I, like, as I sit by the bonfire, I think about the kick-on effects of making Tarpos the arch druid. Like, I try and just sort of, like, extrapolate out how that might help us in the future, it might hinder us, kind of, but just sort of internally. Okay.

That's kind of what Pip's thinking about. But I don't really talk to anybody, other than the engineer, if the engineer wants to talk to me. All right. Yeah. The engineer kind of goes a little silence. Yeah, that's fine. You can see, he's not like lost in foot, well, you could say he's lost in foot.

You can see the mech has got a little platform set out in front of him, and on that he's laid out some sort of diagram, and he's like making markings on it. Seems to be working on something. Cavendish finishes saying something and Iona gives a little titter like a laugh and the two of them also sit down near you Cavendish leans over and says I'm going to say

thanks for the assist there he rubs at his neck where Kelover bit him Yeah how you know he's not pleasant is it No I can't say it is Any time You and Iona seem to have some plan there at the beginning? Less of a plan, more of just a reference, I suppose.

I was just explained, well, Iona is a bit of a storyteller, obviously, as many minstrels and bards are, and she was curious about some of the exploits that I've been in when I served in the military and whatnot, and I guess just kind of made a reference to one of the stories I told. Hmm Yeah, well, it came in handy So that's good

Yeah I assume you have similar ones Stories of my exploits Yes, the sharpshot companions Yeah, well a couple here and there You know We've gotten into some mischief before Sure, sure

That, what's that fellow's name? Hardcastle Yeah Yes Yeah I guess after this It'll be Heading toward Valichai

Right Yes, Valakai You had some people there And onwards I guess Pass that Yeah

Dealing with the situation there Yeah I You know I look up a castle Ravenloft Where Pip assumes Hector is

At all time Yeah I just hope Yeah No you know what I should be happy For the victory Honestly

I should celebrate that You know it's easy to think ahead and to think the worst, but everyone here seems in pretty good spirits, so I should try and get in line, I suppose. In my experience, Pip, he says, and he gives you a very meaningful look.

You don't get the impression he's attacking you with this line. You get the impression, this is maybe a genuine attempted advice. In my experience, when people say that they're worried about the future, what they're actually thinking about is the past. Could be.

I think I'm pretty much thinking about the future, though, if I'm honest, Kevin Dish. But I appreciate the words. Okay. I mean, do you really have, I remember back at Couthery, you said you didn't have confidence in Hector, you had confidence in me. And now obviously at a certain point that's gone too. And I just wonder, do you have the confidence that Hector in Castle Ravenloft right now is doing the right thing? Do you have confidence that Hector, you know, who you've only known since Coutary, but you know the kind of person he is, that he's not making a mistake up there,

that his bleeding heart is not being sucked dry by Strad as we speak? He shrugs. Unfortunately, Pip, I fear we've started something that can't be stopped. Yeah, that much is clear. Unfortunately, one way or another, you were there last year. You saw what Strad did. You think a second rebellion is going to go unresponded to? You think perhaps that you haven't already felt the repercussions of things that you're currently doing.

Of course. I fear, unfortunately, it's do or die at this part. And nobody wants to die, Pip, but everybody gets to. Got to see it through to the bitter end. Yeah, as with all things. I'm going to go see if Kolova left anything that I can put in my little sack. All right. He, before you get up or as you get up,

Cavendish calls you out, like he stops you and he passes you a wine skin. Do you drink? Yeah. It's a sweet thing, the wine that he has. It's maybe the last batch that the... batch that the wizards of wines will ever produce. It's delicious, the nicest thing that can possibly

be found growing in Borovia. I understand we're very hard on you. I understand everyone is very hard on you, Pip. You shouldn't do it to yourself. It's not an evil thing to look on yourself with kindness. Your life isn't meant to be a punishment.

I hand him back the wine skin and I say, next time, don't waste something so sweet on something so bitter. And then I'm going to go up to the little grove to collect bits. He's having a bad time. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to go and search Kolova's sort of tomb for alchemical ingredients. Buddy, you hit the fucking... I thought I might. You hit the wild thing. Okay. You make my...

Headspin, you get Ankeg acid, I'm going to list them out one by one. You get five doses of Ankeg acid. You find five doses of Death Nights Woe. Oh yeah, nice. It's always handy, yeah. Wow, five doses of flump spores. You remember, but Kelova

only did things in fives, that's right. It's a famous thing about her. Yeah. We had died of only flumps for a bit. It's so funny. You find five doses of houndings of houndings. kill range. I swear I'm rolling. I leave the hound. I have 20 of those, so I leave those five behind. I do not need more hounding killer hands. You find, here we go, eight doses of quagoth vein.

Oh yeah, that's good. I'll roll 2D8 for this, so I'm less likely to get a five. You find eight doses of triant poison. Oh, yeah. Probably not going to be as useful in the coming weeks. You find two vampire teeth, obviously. Yeah, that makes, hey, that checks out. That checks out. two doses of blight skin oh yeah six doses of piercer vine yep six doses of formian eye

oh fuck yes six doses damn hell yeah baby six doses of raven feather oh yeah and let's say six sapphires nice

hell yeah Fuck, I did hit the jackpot. Those four me and eyes, dude, they go hard. After I've done that, I'll see if Tarpos is still doing stuff, because I'd like to talk to her. You can see Tarpos, to catch Tarpos as Gorb and Lushin, a shirt fronting a druid. You can see his faces like, he's got a face like mashed potatoes right now. My God. Gorob and Lushin have obviously worked this poor person over.

He's got his hands up. And from bloody lips, he spills forth an oath of... To Tarpos? Yeah, an oath to Tarpos, yeah. Awesome. I wait patiently until Tarpos as a sort of spare moment, you know? Gorob and Lushan kind of step... Seeing you there, Gora Meehan stepped forward.

Gora puts a hand, meaty hand on your chest. I'll wait, Gorab. Wait! You must be vetted by the Green Knights! Yeah, right, well... Didn't you... Save their lot anyway, it doesn't matter. It's not worth arguing.

You rescued. I sort of saved the day here, but that's fine. Well, that too, yeah. They don't care. Yeah, of course not. I do not expect them to. Yeah. I just wait.

I wait for them to look me over, check me for weapons, or whatever they're going to do. The strength of Gorob, the brains of Lushin, the cunning of smilk. I'm like, they're working together. What's this smilk? Have you decided... On a new joint name? The three knights of green! The three green knights!

Is there anyone else with them? You see Gorob and Lushin? Look around, like, behind them? Well, I... What have you? But business have you with the arch druid? Failed, pretender to the throne, non-believer! I just want to talk, for fuck's sake.

I just want to talk to Tarpos for about five minutes, Gorham and Luschen. That's all. That's it. Torob. Sorry, Torub. Tarpos, looking over and seeing what's happening, Gorob, Lushin, smilk, stand back.

What the fuck is the smilk? Who is smilk? She shrugs. Right. They say smilk sometimes. Perhaps they're getting sick. I don't know. They've got an imaginary friend.

Oh, I'm dizzy for that. Whatever, like, look, it sounds like they're working together. Yeah, exactly. So maybe Smilk is their joint name. I don't know. If Smilk is what they're calling themselves as a duo, good for them. It's really got nothing to do with me. Congratulations, first of all.

You kill Kesha. Yes. Cavendish kill over. Yeah. I sort of, I mean. I cleanse Lodstone. Oh, that's good. I'm glad.

I'm glad it all worked out, really. I just wanted to say, I suppose, Taas. Sorry for a lie. Oh, don't even. I figured. You know, Tarpos, I'm, like, I'm truly, from where I'm coming from, as long as it gets done, you know, I suppose I see there's sort of being a sequence of events, an order of operations, if you will, right? Elaniel and Iona, they don't want to cleanse the lodestones. They just want to destroy them. But I'm very happy for you to cleanse them.

But, you know, I thought it would be pertinent to let you know that to give you the knowledge that possibly when this is all over, they might come and try to destroy them, you know, after the fact. And obviously, if that happens, ideally, God willing, I will not be here anymore. But I don't see that as relevant to what we're trying to do here. So if you want to cleanse them, I'll help you. cleanse them it seems like the best move she thinks for a sack and she responds okay good just thought i'd clear that up you know i will stand by your side monolainiel and i owner sort of try to you know suggest an alternative you work with me not with them well i suppose i work with you for now

with the full understanding that when things are over, they might have a problem with it. But I see that, I suppose, as a future issue that has no bearing on what we're doing here. You wish leave. Yeah. I mean, you have to understand that I might want that. I feel like I've been pretty clear.

I can help now. Sorry? Arch druid has powers. I can help leave. you you you could back to

um you you can walk into mist I know not where though oh so I might end up in one of the other dark places she nods not sure

planes are known to me know only these lands but maybe uh what here and say. Roll dice, get better

result. I think that I just stand there. Another land might easier to leave. No some lands nearby.

It would at least be different. She gestures one direction. Bortcha. She gestures another direction. Has land. She gestures another. Dardcon, Blutspur, Valkovnia, Mordent, Tepest, Falachian, know not much about lands. Yeah, yeah, of course.

But one of them could be back to Ognot. Could. Well, any direction could back to Ognot. Ognot not direction. No, yeah, I know. Let me think about it. Okay. Make decisions soon before we leave.

Must do by lodestone. Sure. Can do other loadstones, but, you know, time between. Could die any time. I like go to take a step away and then I turn back and I go, don't tell anyone that I'm, if you could. He gives you a quizzical look like she doesn't know why you said that. Yeah. But she says, okay.

Okay. And then I'd like to go for a long walk around the forest. Okay. Hector, you dive through the trees and you are actually probably going to need, there's a lot of them. Okay, okay. You, I'm not even going to give you a number at this point. You don't know how many there are. There's just a lot of them.

You looking around, you lost sight, you lost track of great. Gretchen as they were dragging her into the woods. You can hear her screaming, but you don't actually know where she is. All right. It's their turn. Okay, so, okay. Okay, before, how long does it take me to reach them? To get down, it takes, uh, it will be a double action or it'll be, sorry, a double movement.

I just know that I am almost dead. So I'm like, before I get there, I could just do a few, can I do a few things? You could stay above the tree level, but then you already don't know where Gretchen is. Okay. I just feel like I need to heal myself slightly. Okay, yeah, go for it. I just want to lay on hands

30, all 30 hit points. Fair enough. Okay, hell yeah. Fair enough. Up to the high highs of 35. Wow, that's nearly your max, uh, PIP. I forgot if you were PIP or POP for a second. Yeah.

Just like my grandmother. Um, she also forgets which one's PIP, which one's pop. Your grandmother is a big fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grandma kind of ALE. She loves D&D's fans. Adam. What?

You make such a shitty pod guy All right She gets mad She gets mad about some seasons She was not a fan Of season 2 She hated season 2 I do not like

Cassius Christi Do not like this man Bring back the bar old boy What is his name McRiff Pumpper pumpkin criff He's really funny He's a good boy

What happened to him Why he's no visit Why are you killing the cat kill the cat instead I think I think I just suggest When the Leo shadow

When he are leaning over That a man Yeah The Leo shadow Should have been basically Impossible to spot He gets a plus 30 To his stealth

Why you make this a mistake Why are you stupid Why that man He'd be able to see him When he's visible You stupid You stupid His God let him see

Yeah Yeah that's why His god gave him vision For God's sake That sounded like Bullshit. It sounded like a bullshit and you're a hack at the air. No, no, Jesus.

Christ. Yeah, so, yeah, I'll heal myself for the 30 points. Yes. Which brings me up to a beautiful 35. Nice. With 15 temporary hit points. Okay. Just Channel Divinity, that's a, that does, they're not, they're not undead.

We keep, yep, you are not aware they are not undead. Damn it. That would be really useful if they were at a more. I'm just going to say. Wouldn't that be nice? That would be wonderful. It's almost like I purposely put some tricks and traps inside

so that a paladin can't just one shot every single creature I made in this book. Yeah, yeah. What the hell? How dare you do? How dare I? Yeah, 100%. Uh, yeah, I guess.

Yeah, I'll, yep, lay on head and then just keep making a B-line to the, to the, I guess there's a lot of them. So that won't be exactly like stealthy. Yeah, that's true. I see where they're going. All right, so you're going to try and shadow them? For a little bit, I guess, because I can't just go with their guns.

Like, yeah, yeah, just for a little bit. Because, like, I mean, for a little bit. I've got one extra trick up my sleeve. Oh, God, it better work. Which is just channeling divinity so that I can hit them a bit more. Mm. Mm-hmm. All right.

Good luck and God bless, brother. The wings are going to fall off soon Oh, that's right, it's only temporary At a certain point How long do the wings last for? They last a minute So it would... Cool.

Wow, this is going to take a lot longer than a minute, my friend. Yeah, so I figured it would be flying there, heal myself, keep going, child divinity, so I'm at least a little bit like extra attack and then just dive bomb and try and get Gretchen out. That's my plan. In that minute, you lose track of where

Gretchen is. She's not screaming anymore. You can't hear her. Have I lost track of them? You, when you would dive it, before you healed yourself, you had lost track of exactly where Gretchen was. You could hear her so you knew her general area, but you have not seen her basically since you took flight. Okay. Scanning around, looking for her, you can see them in among the trees, but it looks like they're either dispersing or there is a stupid number of them. Okay. can't tell which which is correct. Okay. Can I see with the

amount of them, I guess, moving, is there broken, like, you know, twigs or things like that on the path to, like, find them? Like, you know, go where they're heading. Because if there's that many... Yeah, you would think that... I get a bad boycott and the foliage is pretty fucking thick. God damn, dude. Jesus Christ.

Okay. Okay. Heck, though. Yeah. No, I've just have bad news. they laid a trap you get a bit closer just at one point you dip just a little bit further down

just to because you're you're maybe like trying to get a bit closer because that foliage you know how trees you can see through them a bit better when you're a bit closer to them

you get a bit closer to just give yourself a better look and then two grappling hooks fire out from the tree line great news

one of them misses you entirely the other one wraps around your torso and goes taught immediately. You need to make a strength or athletics check. Oh, sorry, a athletics or acrobatics check. Wait, so did, when they were, when they grabbed Gretchen,

did they look like they were hurting her or did it look like they were just dragging her? You didn't get a great look? It looks like they were dragging her. Okay. I don't resist, Adam. You know,