D&D is For Nerds - Barovia IV #16 Special Dirt and a Diamond

Episode Date: November 22, 2025

Little dragon man always so confused. He like sapling bending away from sunlight. A sapling with mouth like howler monkey. And no ears. Think he knows everything but he doesn’t know anything. He need to listen. Listen like Smilk. Smilk understand. Smilk gets it.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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like prison bars Strad are jailer We must escape We must kill Strad must die What was your time at the orphanage Wonderful It's good to hear

I love my brothers She says The Mandarin siblings must stick together The Mandarin siblings must stick together The Mandarin siblings love each other. Yes. Yes, I suppose they do.

So you're a Plainswalker, yes. Yes, she says. You see there's a hesitation in her voice this time. Look, now that you mentioned it, I'm understanding,

I suppose while Pip didn't mention your name, he's definitely talked about you. A Plainswalker. What did he say? Get a good boycott, by the way. Good news. She 100% believes you,

and it seems to calm her. Bad news, she starts pumping you for information. Fantastic. Okay. Ha, thinking music, you recall, one specific piece of voice. That's funny. That is good. Okay.

Well, obviously, he mentioned a very planes walker that was quite close. I didn't realize that he meant familial, obviously. I kind of... He mentioned Plainswalker? I think it was Plainswalker or something like that. Again, it's a little bit... By that question, do I sense that she's being a bit... A bit like now, hang on a minute, or am I?

So, good news, bad news, which is you like first. I guess the good news? Actually, it's kind of... Well, no, it is good news, bad news. All right, good... Well, actually, no, they need to come into specific order. I'm sorry. Bad news, when you say plane,

That seems to register like an alarm bell. And you see Pep says, Plainswalker, but how could he know? Unless he does care. That's what it is. It's very much like, oh no, yes. I'm going to have to fill in a lot if I get to him. I'm going to be so scared. Did he tell you, did he tell you he learned in my letters?

Uh, he mentioned letters, but, uh, again, um, again, um, again, I'm trying, I'm just using their own words. Dig your way out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dig up. I'm, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna use their language back at them, like, and then, and try to be vague. And to be like, uh, yeah, you know, because hip has mentioned letters. I don't know if he's mentioned your specific ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, I'm gonna try it be like, yeah, if she's gonna give me an inch, maybe I'll take that mile. Does she want to, even if there's moments

where I'm like, oh hang on, am I getting caught out in this lie? Well, she seems to want to believe this. So it seems to be like, all right, then. Whatever she was. I mailed him again and again and again. It's only polite, she says.

She crabs. Once again, you feel her claws bury a little too deep into your legs, and she looks up at you with wide, happy eyes. I wrote him again and again and again. Oh, that's so very sweet of you. It's just like, yeah And he read them

I know that pen and paper I have feared when he had not written back Well pen and paper is difficult to find in Barovia That's not a lie Exactly That's not a lie

Exactly How could I write back Exactly Where would he send it to Where we're stuck Never mind the fact that I'm sure She's been sending letters For many, many years

Before Pip found his own Oh I know You see Well, yes, Borovia, it's... You're right, you think you're right, and you think your brothers love you. And Hank, Hank writes, Hank rights, and pop rights, and pop rights, and pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Yes, see, time works very, very different in Borovia. Family must stay together. You understand, don't you?

I think about the time that my family sold me to the church, and I say, Yes. Family is all that matters in this world. I think once again. And clean. Family and clean. Yes. Clean.

Yes. Yes. Clean, clean, clean. Be clean. Perhaps, yeah. Pep. Ivana speaks. She turns around.

Like I said, it's a half, imagine a half dome that has a root system. The roots. I want to The roots I'm scared too, brother For your skin and heart The roots

Move and undulate Like an octopus Rolling over themselves Ivana looks at Pep And says I grow tired, leave Pep Like a beaten animal

Bows and leaves Immediately and quickly You have a very interesting Chester I say I would say Ivana says more like a pet

Pip can I after Tarpos has given me the possibility of leaving can I are we close enough that I could like

reach the edge of the mist that's funny because I swallowed a bunch of ice when you said that I spat it all back out but from your perspective it must have been me taking a drink

and then be like it's doing a spit take what Yes, you can Okay I'd like to go stand At the edge of the mist And kind of look into it And sort of just

Think about The possibility Of leaving Borovia Even if it is Just to Go to somewhere else Like, you know Even if it's not going home

But just the possibility Of going to somewhere different Can you Because were you able to pick Or was it like Is it a random It's a roll of the dice Roll of the dice

It's a roll of the dice Tarpos can let him leave, but that doesn't mean... Where I go is entirely up to me. And I like to think I stand there and I look for ages. And I think about rolling those dice. And then, like, I walk back through the forest back to Tarpos. And I'm like, no, I think I'm good. I think to take that gamble to just step into the mists,

not knowing what's on the other side, to deal with any other dark place, you'd have to be a moron. is hey. Tarpos for some reason is giving you the expression, she's nodding, but she's giving you the expression like she doesn't understand you. Oh. Like she, as in

as in she doesn't understand what you're saying or, it feels like you've given some grand speech about some eloquent point or something like that and Tarpos didn't understand you. Or maybe she just speaks another language. Okay. I don't, even though you could

let me leave, I don't want to leave. Okay, she says. Right, okay. You stay. I stay. Yeah. For now. She looks very confused. As in, until we defeat Strad, I can guarantee that when I go back, I'm going to go back to Ognaud. Okay, she says. All right, we square? I mean... Does she know what's happening? Like, with everyone else?

It's not clear. Does she not? I don't know, dude. Dealing with top boss is annoying. Are we We on the same page On the level? Yes, She says. Do I believe her?

I feel's a little You don't know if this is true. It feels a little bit like she's just saying yes To get rid of you. Well, that's fine. I just don't want her to send me away. I just don't want her to have misinterpreted what I've said and be like And off to the fucking ancient Egyptian dark place with you.

Pip, time to deal with pharaohs and mummies. So, no sending me away. Right. Pip stay in Borovia. Yeah, Pip stays in Barovia. Until Strad dead. Yes, exactly. Thumbs up.

All right. Okay. Jesus. Okay, top of us. You need anything? Not now. I mean, I think the next step is maybe rest up here a little bit and then head for Velikai and everything that comes with that. You should be safe for now.

I don't know if you intend to join us, or now that you're queen of the druids, if you're just going to stay here. Other lodestones must be cleansed. Okay, you'll come along to do that. We'll come with to cleanse. Great. No, that's wonderful. Yeah. Okay.

That means you've got like an army of druids now? Well, that's a good question. Will the, will the druids, I gesture around, because they're like everywhere, right? They're about, yeah. You're kind of in a quiet place away. You think this is now. Yeah. Tarpos's, like...

Kind of palace, almost. Kingdom? Palace is not what you would call it. No, this is, no, no, no. This is like her, where she lives now. Oh, okay. You're in a hut that has, uh... You can see Tarpos has kind of started unpacking, as it were. Okay.

You can see that this... Is Keshkar's head placed on a little, like, shelf somewhere? No, you don't know where Keshkar's head is, actually. And I don't care. You can see, well, the stonehead is here. Okay. You can see there's a little, a little fireplace. over by one, by the far wall, and you can see Keshkar's stonehead is resting up against it.

And you can see a bunch of other things, which must have been Keshkar's effects have been collected to be disposed of, to be gotten rid of. You can see beyond that as well, there are effects that don't look like they're Keshkars, they look like they belong to just whoever is the arch druid. You see a lot of like ceremonial type gear and possibly some stuff here that has a practical use of some sort. So the ceremonial stuff would be things like a headdress, a bunch of different, like, you might call it religious iconography, stuff for worship of the forest and the lands of Barovia. Beyond that, like I said, there's some stuff that might have a practical purpose, like the...

Like the equivalent of pots and pans and like... Oh, wow, that's not really what I meant. But yes, that is well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tapos, looking at you, she kind of like looks around and dusts her, dusts herself off a little bit, like she's kind of waiting. Um, do you want me to go? Is that what that is? You can just say it. I don't mind. You see, yes, Tarpos wants you to leave, but when you say that out loud, she goes really bright red and you can see that she's, she feels awkward asking you to leave.

No, it's fine. I mean, I honestly prefer, you know, said with just saying it straight rather than, you know, keeping it a secret, or obvious kidding. I'll get out of your hair. We'll tell next time, she says. You get the impression that she will not be able to do that next time. Hell, what? Tell you to leave. Oh, right.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, all right, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going. I'll step outside of the little house. You can hear music playing from the center. There's druids just kind of walking about doing their own things. They, despite your very recent animosity, they ignore you. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I guess I'll head to where the music is playing.

Okay. you can see Cavendish and Iona are playing a couple instruments Iona is stringing at a lute and Cavendish is playing on a flute and every now and then in between playing notes Cavendish sings a little song

sounds like something from back when he was a soldier I will give it the old heave-ho as our bags jump to and fro and the soldiers stamp their feet with uniforms ever so neat. Nice. I don't interrupt necessarily, but I kind of also,

I don't think, I think it feels rude to join in. So I'll just sit down kind of and listen to them playing. And I think as I sit down, the like reality that I might see Keening soon starts to loom somewhere in the back of my head. Yeah. So like with that anxiety sitting somewhere in the pit of my stomach, I'll just sit and listen to the music

They play Yeah Till I assume we'd be camping here the night Well yeah You're staying here the night They play basically until You can see

Exhaustion begins to claim both of them And then Iona first Then Cavendish After he sits down and quietly Looks into the fire for a while Both of them get up and leave To go to bed Well when they stop playing and sit down

Maybe I'll pick up my My instrument And I'll just start playing like something a little more gentler and a little like, you know, music to go to sleep to basically. Lo-fi hip-hop beats to study slash relax to with chipmander in

until everybody gets tired and goes to bed. And then I suppose I'll do the same. I have one last look up at Castle Ravenloft and then maybe one last look into the sky and then I'll retire to my bed and go to sleep. The night passes uneventfully. That's nice. That's very nice. Always good. I love to hear it, brother. I love

to hear it. The next day you're awoken by Gorob and Lushin. Not directly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just hear them. They should have like the cockerel for this place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll crawl out of the moment I hear them, whatever. I'll crawl out of my tent. After what I assume is, because I've been having some bad ones recently, a peacefully dreamless sleep. I'll crawl out of bed, pack everything up into my pack and I guess be ready to go. I assume that's what we're doing. Okay. Well, you, oh, wait, you weren't in a tent, by the way. You got to sleep in one of the druids. Oh, It's not nicer than a tent, but it's bigger. Yeah, yeah, there's more room.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I'll step outside then. All right. As you clamber outside the tent, you can see, sorry. It's just very funny to be like, you're not in a tent. As you clamber outside the tent. Sorry, as you climb outside of the little hovel, you can see by the now dead fireplace,

you can see facing away from you the characteristic poncho and hat of Keening, facing away from you. I'm dreaming, I have to assume. I'll, like, pinch myself. Keening turns around to look at you. Yeah. You can see when you last met him, or when you last saw him, he has some more battle damage.

There's a scar, a fresh-looking one that runs down part of his face. It looks like the effects of frostbite. Okay. Pip. Yeah, I take a step closer. You are dreaming. Okay. But, well, I suppose it doesn't mean this ain't real.

Are you okay? I'm guessing. Oh, this is the only way I can communicate with you right now. I'm, uh, obviously, you're not really here. Yeah. Apart from Keening, the camp is in warning mode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People are getting up, people are going about doing their own things. Nobody's reacting to Keenning, though. No one's reacting to him at all.

Okay, I start, acting to you either, honestly. I start taking, like, steps closer to Keening and then, like, slowly, but then speeding up until I'm right at him and then I'd like to try and take his hands in mine or his hand in my well he he moves as you do that he moves as if he has two hands and then you see him clock at the last second that he's missing a hand yeah and he pulls both of them away kind of awkwardly oh I pull my hands away too what wait wait uh sorry I don't know how long I can maintain this connection so I got to be brief say it uh I'm in Valica right now with the uh the little frog man Elaniel and Mark Quillett.

You might, it's been a little while, it hasn't been that long, but you might remember Mark Willett from the time you were, do you remember Mark, do you Jackson remember Mark Willett? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the Dusk Elf. Yes, yes, okay, yeah, leader of the Dusk Elves, or just one of the Dusk Elves, okay.

So the Dusk Elves, as a reminder, you would remember this, the Dusk Elves were not very, like helpful towards Hector But Marquillot kind of was Mark Quillot kind of represents a small faction of the Dusk elves who yes are more or yes want to unite with Valakai against Strad

Okay yeah We're in Valakar dealing with The he pauses for a second The yeah I know you can't say it Cult stuff there yeah Anyway I wouldn't really call it in the ethereal But I'm come kind of somewhere in between planes right now I'm trying to

There's a lot of to explain but so uh i was a obviously uh the guy father whatever yeah he's uh came he was in a prison i'm trying to get to the prison to see if there's any clues there about how we might put him back okay uh problem is uh the only way to get to the the only way i can find to get to the prison because i don't really know what it is where it is is to follow the steps left by father whatever his name is yeah which meant that i had to get as close to physically as I can do him, which means that we're inside Valakai right now. So my body is being watched over, because I'm unconscious right now, my body's been watched over by my quillet,

bilanial, by cribbit. I don't know how well they're holding out right now. I haven't got much of a idea. I mean, we're heading. I mean, we're going to be there as soon as we can. That's where we're going today. Well, I kind of need you a lickety split. I only got a vague idea of what's going on there, but I don't think it's going well. Okay. I need time, pippy. How much? Whatever time you can give me.

He stops and looks over his shoulder. It feels like he's looking at something that isn't in this drink. Yeah, sure. And then he looks back at you. As he does so, he kind of clutches about as if there's some chill in the air that he feels that you cannot. It's, uh, I need you quit. I take a step, like, closer to him, and then I'd like to, like, read... I know he, like, brought his hands away, but I'd like to reach out to them and take them in my hands.

He lets you. I'm coming. Right. Is Hector with you? No. He accepted an invitation. He gives you a dark look. I match it.

I told him not to, but I wasn't strong enough to keep. him here. That boy has a good heart. It'll get him killed. Yeah. I'll get there as soon as I can. All right. I, this connection is a fleeting thing. I don't know if I'll be able to reconnect with you, a coincidental thing. You Keenan pauses for a moment and you can see that he's trying to force himself through something because he doesn't have long. Yeah. He forces himself through it. because you were thinking about me, I was able to make the connection. Yeah. Well, we'll say whatever you need to say.

It's, like I said, I don't think it's looking good on the weekend side of this. Mark Willett, Eleni, or Krebbit, I gave him pretty strict orders that I'm unconscious, I'm a lot of dead weight, and they're in the middle of a lot of trouble. And I gave them strict orders that if push came to shove, I don't know if they would. they seem like good people my quillet and cribbed especially but I mean not to say

Alainio is also nice but she just don't don't don't anyway if this is like if this is maybe the last time we speak oh Keening it won't be

yeah well I look I'm I'm doing this as if it might be not this conversation sorry but my investigation I'm doing it like it might be but anyway If it is, I'm going to try and, any information I find, I'm going to try and put it somewhere safe.

And if you find out, you can't make notes in a dream. I'll remember, I'll remember. I need you, I need you to recite this spell. And it'll hopefully access stuff that I have stored in the weaver magic. Sure. Any information, if I can't get it to you myself, you can get it like this. Okay. Are you ready?

Yes. He recites a spell for you Okay It's a long spell Fuck dude Get a good boycott Oh yes Thank goodness

He recites Two pages Worth of spell It's a long ass spell Like a 10 minute long ritual that you have to do But you remember it You're very confident that you've remembered it as well

Okay I like to think that the word Way Pip forces himself to remember this, especially because I did it. So I got a good boycott for it, is that I connect, if it's like 10 pages, did you say? Two minutes? Ten minutes? Two pages. I like connect every section to my time with Keening.

Okay. So I connect the first section, like kind of mind palace style. Yeah, yeah. To a pneumonic device. Like I connect the first section with, in meeting him in the Blue Water Inn. That's the first section. And then maybe the second section is like venturing out together on our first investigation. You know, my first time doing this with him connected there.

And then like just going on and on and on, meeting trumpets. That will take up a section of it. All the way to seeing him one last time before fleeing into the night at the last section of the spell. I connect every bit to a memory to commit it to mine. uh pippy i know it's very important that um you're not just that you remember this but there's i feel a fear that this if if it is the last i just there's uh i just don't want to you know not to leave this in he looks over his shoulder again i got to go and then you wake up

I have to talk to Tarpos I'd like to... It is the middle of the night I don't care I bang on Tarpos's door Open up Tarpos opens the No

You hear What? What is it? The door is wrenched open Gorov and Lushin are standing in the door Yeah Can I like just I guess I got donk their heads together

As much as I'd like to You push past Yeah I just push past You push past them immediately, I mean, you're probably not, you're not going to say anything about this. Not right now, at least. But you immediately clocked that they were sleeping at the foot of the bed, like a dog. That's fucked up. But I know it's their choice.

Tarpos doesn't want this, but there's nothing she can do. Tarpos who, she was actually not even in bed at the time. You can see Tarpos by the fireplace. She's sitting cross-legged with both of her hands firmly. The floor of this, as with all the hovels, the floor is made of, is just dirt. Yeah. She has both hands in the dirt here, and you can see little tufts of grass around her hands, which seem the tufts of grass look like they've wrapped themselves around her fingers.

She, when you push past and step in properly, you see Tapas, and then she tears herself away from the floor. How quickly can you get us to Valakai? I don't care how. I'll go through the roots, whatever it is. She thinks for a second If the land itself has to fling us Tarpos How do we get there fast Can do

Rights of Travel Great, let's do it Tarpos stay here Need connection to Lodestone That's fine They're in trouble Tarpos Can send small group This

She puts up a hand Not easy What do you need anything need she thinks need special dirt tapos find special dirt need heat

I'll get the dirt yeah where I go I go need salt she starts looking around the little hovel she starts grabbing things as she's saying them need blight skin

I've got heaves of that how much she says Five bits. Take maybe all five best. That's fine. Need... As she's saying that, I'm getting down, opening up my alchemy kit and pulling them out for her. Need triant poison.

Three and poison. I've got seven of those. Two enough. Okay, that's good. Need, um, pinch of shadow. I've got four. Vampire teeth good. Not need.

I've got heaves of that. Six. Uh, two. enough she says whatever you need tarposs um unicorn horn or dragon blood i've got eight unicorn horns so i think that'll do you tapos looks at how many unicorn horns you have and says nothing i didn't kill a single unicorn to get these tarposs they were another beast she shrugs okay And Sure, she says

And diamond More diamond better I've only got one Need at least one More better Yeah, I'll ask around But I don't Need hour

Well that'll be enough time To get everybody up and ready Okay With she Looks at the diamond That you gave her And she says With this diamond

Send maybe two okay that's fine I think I know I'm guessing it'll just be me and Iona then okay

she hmm yeah you actually yeah she's not very good at hiding this you say you're sending

Iona and she seems pleased at that yeah well that works in your favour too okay send you

Iona and then you can keep Kevin Dish here I suppose and he can assist you okay she says wait for

she starts doing a gesture like horns on her head and then gestures like tail Hector's friend with a funny name No is in Kuchari Oh, the other one Piran Ah, Pyrin Yes, yes, yes, yes

Wait for Pyrin maybe Okay, yes I think he's tracking Zammett though That's what she says She doesn't know Yeah She was present at that meaning How much attention is Tophos playing

She's not really Like She's in the party But she's not of the party You killing Strad She doesn't seem to care that much Yeah yeah yeah She's just useful

Whatever Our like everyone in this fucking party Our goals align enough I think what I love about this group Is that we're like a wrong found family At no point have we ever been like Hey we're a bunch of broken people and we've come together to bond.

It's like we're a bunch of broken people we've come together to fight and to get on each other's nerves. Anyway, once that's all sorted with Tarbos, I will go out to the other hovels that have Iona and Cavendish, and I'll knock on their doors to explain it to them. Both of them seem...

Well, Iona, when you start... When it gets to the point where I'm like, only two of us can go, I'll say, and I assume, Iona, you'll want to see Eleniel. I would, yes, very much... I imagine the two of us is probably the best of the three of us.

Obviously, Camdish, if you could come as well, that would be so fucking useful because you've got all of your... The engineer shows up at a same point as well. Well, he'll go where he goes. But I think it should be myself and I own. Cavendish shrugs, he says, I don't, never really met Keening myself.

I heard a bit about him. Good luck, I suppose. Yeah. I, yes, I guess, I mean, any two of us, I didn't think there's any points to picking any two specific people for any reason other than emotional attachment, I suppose. But yes, I mean, you know, I can keep Tarpos, Gora Blotian, the engineer, he gestures, I can keep a close eye on all of this, keep this situation under control. and then obviously Keening will have you guys over in Valakai. Yes. Yes.

And then, well, Hector will do how Hector does. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Look. Hey, I say, before he even speaks, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not, I don't know, for forgetting where I am or forgetting why I'm doing this. I'm sorry.

That's fine. Then maybe I'll take a beat and I'll be like, You know, I had a chance to kind of leave earlier. Tarpos offered it to me, and yeah, it was a gamble. It wasn't home, but I had a chance to go. And maybe I didn't go for selfish reasons because I didn't want to throw myself to the wolves, but I don't think that's entirely why I decided to stay. So I'm sorry.

I'm trying not to fade away. He, John, kind of nods slowly. I'll be honest with you. I was about to give you a, well, I wouldn't call it. a pep talk, but perhaps a grim reality talk. But

yeah, I don't know, I suppose. If Hector goes, and this works out, wonderful. Maybe we can solve this without bloodshed. I don't know how that's going to happen, but if Hector goes, and Strad

turns him, kills him, whatever. Pip, I never Hector's just one man I'm not worried about him dying He's so flippant but I agree with him I never followed him And I guess

Now I'm not following you either But Hey I'm here I'm not going to fade away either It's a blaze of glory or escape Those are our options Yeah

You know I think I've got to learn that dying in battles better than dying in bed, you know, at a certain point. I suggest until we meet again and perhaps I give you some different piece of advice but I suggest your plan, he says, and he

doesn't like forcefully do it, but he sticks a finger into your chest like I said, not forcefully, kind of just to drive home the point. Your plan should be to find the biggest, baddest, meanest monster you can and to go down swinging. We'll see how that works out.

he shrugs yeah but i think that's probably the best we're getting you know like in terms of peace with with with with with cavendish that's probably the best we're gonna get well actually to put a to punctuate it to end it he sticks out a hand and to shake yours i absolutely shake his

he gives you a firm strong hand you know those sort of handshake that only someone over the age of 60 can give you yeah yeah yeah yeah well obviously mine is nowhere near as firm but, you know, I shake his hand back. All right. And then we'll get ready for whatever ritual this is going to be. Iona collects everything. And then, unfortunately, for her, she still has time after all of her effects have been packed.

So she begins obsessively checking her, like, hair in the mirror. You've really never seen this part of her. She's kind of making herself, you know, like, she's like doing a little bit of trimming and stuff like that. Can I go up to her? Did she get like a little hand mirror or something? Would you like in the monastery, I mean, this is a thing, I could cut your hair if you like. Iona looks like she's about to cry.

It's just something I learned. I'm not terrible at it. I understand that we are in, you know, these surroundings and whatnot. But I, this, she grabs an end of her hair and shows it to you, is these split hands. Yeah. I'm grateful. I, like, rub my hand over my scales that I've never had to.

But also, like, as I do that, I imagine my hands catch on, like, the dead scales that are, like, like, a snake that have, like, shed you. You know, like, I'm sure that shit just happens to a reptile. Like, yeah, that I never had to worry about here. But I understand how terrifying it is to see them again. So, have you got, like, scissors or something? I guess a dago, maybe. Yeah, she has a little grooming, personal grooming kit. She passes a pair of hair-cutting, hairdressing scissors to you.

Hold the mirror still. She does so. I'd like to start brushing her hair. This is a scary role. I'll give you advantage for your backstory. Thank you. Thank you. Come on.

You ruin her hair. No, no, I'm joking. You did pretty well. You give her a nice haircut. Few, that would be bad. All she needs, she literally just needs. It's just the split ads. That's what I was hoping.

It's not too hard. And a brushing is probably good, too. Yes, absolutely. Her hair is resplendent. She, I don't know if, why would I ever mention this? But I guess sometimes it is nice to describe the characters. Her hair normally sits just below her shoulders. It now sits just above her shoulders.

But it is very neat, tidy, and sleek now. I like to imagine as she looks around, just there's somehow none of the hair. Like, I've caught it all as I've done it as part of my, like, monastery training and then thrown it in a fire so it's just gone by the time oh good the smell of burning not the fire Pete love that Pipp

love that Cavendish standing off to the side I really wish you hadn't done that why would you do that anyway good luck see you later fucking boss all the goodwill killed

terrible training terrible training terrible training they fucked it up at the monastery in a fire Just as you're finishing up You hear from behind you You thank God that you're finishing up Yeah

Because you nearly jump out of your own skin Yeah Oh lady We'll see you now Okay God I hate Bones above Non-believer

What fucking ever All right We'll go see Tarpos You follow behind Gorob and Lushin As they take you They take you outside the Druid Grove

They take you somewhere else instead. You and I owner. Maybe Cavendish, the engineer as well, try to come, but Gorob and Lushin put up a hand, only those who are to travel, the lady and her three loyal knights may travel further than this. Three loyal nights? Who the fuck? Is that plipip or whatever? Smilk, I believe. Smilk, the name they have.

It's like a third head. Well, I assumed smoke is what they call. call themselves as a unit, but... Like, hey, that... You know what? Sure. I just am glad I'm going to have a reprieve from this. There's Gorb, there's lushing together, the smilk. Yeah.

If that's what makes them... Maybe I lead it to Iona and I'm like, I will not miss this. Iona gives you... Looks back at you. You immediately, actually, I got to change. Sorry, you gain Iona points. Oh, nice. Oona's like, why?

Why, they're lovely? Why would you say something to be hurtful about... You needed those Iona points. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, she was close to leaving the party. Oh, fuck, dude. Well, that's the one thing we have in common.

You're both close to leaving the party? Yeah. Well, yes. I'm here at that point, that was funny. That wasn't what I was going to say, but in a way that is true. But no, that we both have a partner in the valet guy, you know? Iona gives you a look back, Pip, and you can see you, in the last, maybe 24 hours have done a lot to mend your reputation with Iona.

She looks back at you and there's immediately you feel, even if this isn't how necessarily you feel, but the air has this like you are right now tight friends with Iona. She gives you a look back when you say, I'm not going to miss this. She gives you a look back like, yeah. Yeah. Yep. I think Pipps sort of reels at the first. feeling of genuine friendship.

He's extremely, like, stumble in the ground a little bit, and then just keep walking forward. Yeah, yeah, he's just like, yeah, the gossip in the hairdress was mostly about Gorbush. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what we talked about. It's got to go, yeah. Well, it's talk about that or talk about her girlfriend who wants to kill you. Yeah, exactly, exactly. A lot of Gorbon Lush.

You're like, also tell me about I own, oh, Elaine. Actually, you know what? Oh, let's talk about Keeney. How serious is she when she wants to kill people? Yeah. Did she do it before, you know? How far did you get with Keening? Oh, yeah. First base, second base?

I think we hooked up a couple of times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you were like a baseball analogy, like, yeah. Yeah, like how, what, like, yeah. I'm not a jealous. I mean, I am insanely jealous. You know, did you always carefully, I guess. What kind of stuff did you do more?

All right. Gorub and the Lush and take you a bit out of the Druids Grove. And they take you to, you see a threshold. You can tell that you're about to cross it. It's the old, dead, gnarled trees of the Slavich woods suddenly change to very living pine trees. And you can see there's a, even just visually, there's some energy about this. This place that you're about to step into, it feels older than Barovia as it is now. and it feels like it's been preserved in that manner.

Weird. The trees here don't look unkind. You remember, actually, this throws you back to the lunar pool, and for a brief moment, you remember that Borovia was not always like this. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy. You step past that threshold, and suddenly, it feels you stand up straight. For the first time in over a year, Pip Mandarin, you stand up straight.

Are we, if I look around us, are we, like, in a kind of strange pocket of preserved Borovia? Yeah, it feels like that. You look around and you realize the night is a bit brighter. You look up and you see, for the first time in over a year, the moon. Wow. It's a clear night. That's, I mean, I'm guessing this won't last, but it's nice to enjoy it while we can. You look up, you see the moon, you see the stars, you see galaxies stretching before you.

Wow. If I was the kind of person still capable of crying, this would probably get me there. Iona is crying. Yeah. I had not, I have never, it occurs to you. Oh. She has never seen a star. Right. This would be, yeah, this would be pretty overwhelming, I guess, if you'd never seen.

I had seen pictures. Yeah. It's pretty beautiful. Um, do I recognize any of the constellations? I mean, I don't really know how I would, but... Yeah, you might. Uh, let me quickly check. Hang on.

This actually... You recognize constellations, and it feels weird to recognize constellations, because you're in the shadow. You're in the shadow, how am I doing that? You look up, you see major and minor constellations. You see some people refer to it as the mantelray. Oh, yeah? Some people refer to it as the tarotauri.

it as the Tarasque. It has many names, but Tarasque is the most common one. You see the leaping dog, you see the mid-star, and you see, maybe appropriately, you see the nighthag as well. I don't know why we did this really, but in Ognot, we sort of made up stories for all of the different constellations. You know, like as though they are representative, you know, in some way If you use your imagination, perhaps you could imagine that it was like a physical thing. That's the leaping dog. That's the night hag. The Manta ray, which is that one over there, was a favorite of pops, my brother.

You know, you didn't often see the clear sky from the monastery because it was quite cold up there, so it was often snowing and blizzardy. But sometimes he would go to the top. He'd climb, I don't know how he got up there, really, but he'd climb onto the sort of domed roof and he'd just look. at them for hours, I had forgotten how beautiful they were. You look over, Iona is full on, like, crying, silently, but openly, very weeping. I take one extremely awkward hand. Just, it doesn't know where to go, but its aim is comfort. And I, like, just put a hand on her shoulder. She, hey, it's okay. Take one of her hands, and she puts it on top of yours. and then looks over and she says,

it is for the first time in a long, long time, I have a cause to weep, that is joy. Oh, yeah, that's pretty nice. That's pretty nice. This, if this were all that we were fighting for, it would be enough. Yeah. You know, I think that's true,

but I think it's very easy to forget. I think as we're standing there, and Diana is crying more and more Pips' awkwardness levels are rising to sort of boiling point. So I'm, even though the first time I've seen the moon and the constellations in years, I'm glancing around being like, and surely we're going to get out of here soon, Tarpos. Gorub and Lushin, if you're doing that, you see Gorob and Lushin are quietly standing nearby. Okay. Wait, are they coming? Well, they're standing here with you

Oh no Are you joining us? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What a fool! He thinks that us The knights of the lady Would ever abandon our task Abandon our given

From further in the grove Not the grove, sorry From further in this little space You hear Tarpos, presumably shushing and they immediately fall silent. Wow. That's a cool power. Tarpos pokes her head through some trees and says, come.

Yeah, they could have been anything. Green knights or whatever. But knights of our lady, it's just generic as fuck. Not tough, just sad. Garberlosh him and milk or whatever, cringe. Milk. What did they call themselves last time? Yeah.

Knights of the green, I think. Knights of the green, yes. Anyway, there's no, it's a self-appointed title. They call themselves whatever they want. Yeah, yeah. I guess I, like, put a hand back on I owner's shoulder, and I'm like, there's probably time for us to go. She nods slowly, and she looks down.

All right. I'll stride over to where Talpas is sort of gesturing for us to head. All right. In the center of this little space, it's not very big. It's no bigger, it's maybe in circumference. Circumference? Yeah. That's all the way.

but that's not what I mean. I mean, diameter. In diameter, this space is probably no larger than 10 meters. Okay. And in the center is a huge ancient, I was about say ancient looking, ancient feeling, stone. It looks mostly of just generic rock, but you can see that it's flecked, like a shotgun blast struck through it of some other material that you cannot place. You don't know what it is, but you can feel as you step closer immediately a heat wafting off the stone.

This place feels laden with meaning. This place feels so important that standing here makes you think that you could become someone in a history book. Tarpos play... Oh, the stone is also heavily covered in moss as well. Tarpos puts a hand on the stone, and you can see is that. moss, the little nubby green tendrils of the moss wrap themselves around her hand. She turns back to you, and you can see at the foot as well of this loadstone is all of the alchemical bits and bobs, which she is assembled as part of this ritual.

She turns to look at the two of you. Touch stone. Okay. I take a step forward and I place my lizard hand on the stone. I don't know. That's the same. You travel now through Slavich Woods, through Barovia itself. You cannot take this path and Pip, Iona, who step in, will not be Pip, Iona, who step out.

Sorry? What was that? Tell us in what manner sort of do you mean by that? she thinks about it for a while is cannot allow you become one with forest Pip Iona here

gone not like teleport gone Pip Iona and she gestures towards where Valachi is Pip Iona arrive there but become wood then would make you elsewhere

How is Iona dealing with this news? Iona looks at you and you can see she has the same concerns. Right, and in terms of, this is perhaps a technical question for you, Tauphos, but in terms of consciousness, you know, is it sort of like, because I mean if my physical body is to be disintegrated and then reanimated on the other side, near Valichai, that's, I mean, I guess. fine. Not really, but we're here. But if my consciousness is to go, you know, I mean, maybe you don't understand this, but what you're describing, you know, it is a frightening prospect. I sort of wish I'd

known beforehand. Um, she looks really confused. Like, okay. Pip, Iona already part of Barovia, you not realize you'd try. She looks really. She suddenly gets frustrated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wear the idiots. Yeah, okay. You connected, but you not listen. Right.

You already happen all the time. She takes her hand off the lodestone. Happen all the time. You, Cavendish, Couthery, Strad, all is same. Yeah. One. Right. You don't, you don't listen.

But you don't know You must open to forest And then forest can take you as same And then forest send you and put you there Yeah Same Same I think about Keening saying that perhaps

That time I saw him in my dream Was the last time I'd ever see him Yeah And I don't want to think about that So I place my hand Maybe I've taken it off Off the rock I place it back on the rock

you see Iona take a deep breath and then she says under her breath only for herself but you hear Elenia and then she puts her hand on the rock as well Tapos looks at the two of you like your children and then she puts her hand on the lodestone as well okay

my other hand is clenched into like the tidest little white knuckled fist you can imagine Easy to get lost when part of forest. Tarpos guide. Okay. Follow voice. Fucking hell. Okay.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Forest is not scary. Sure. This is going to make it sound like forest is a little scary. Okay, Tarpos, if you say so. I'm like, I'm about to, at the top of a roller coaster, sort of shoot. Down the slope.

That's the kind of tension in Pip's body. Close your eyes. They'd probably already be squeezed shut. Feel stone? Yep. Feel heart. Yes. Think of heart as light inside you.

Draw line from heart, from light, into shoulder, into arm, into hand. Okay. Feel enter the stone. Feel your light connect to stone I do my best Now imagine stone's light Stone's light Stone's light connect to everything

And then it happens Pip you feel it suddenly You feel Your eyes are still tightly shut but you can see You see a bright green light No golden light deep within your chest, you look over at Iona and you can see a white light inside of her.

You look over at Tarpos, you can see a green light inside of Tarpos. It's like looking into the matrix. Oh, God. You're seeing just outlines of people. You're seeing myriads of different lights and all of their lines connecting to each other in this lodestone. Inside the lodestone, it's like some network hub of all of these lights. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Tarpos

Steps into the stone, follow Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, I'll follow, I'll step into the stone You step into the stone Pip, you cease to exist Oh my God, dude Thank you.