D&D is For Nerds - Barovia IV #20 Fashion Through the Ages

Episode Date: December 21, 2025

A funny thing about faith is you don’t have to be religious to have it. We are told many things when we are growing up, when we are younger, before we even experience the world. A long list of things to not do, places not to go, people not to trust, words that are forbidden and on and on and on. Don’t go outside with damp hair, you’ll catch a cold. Don’t venture out alone into the woods, you’ll be eaten by wolves. Don’t touch the kettle, you’ll burn yourself. So you stay inside, never to go exploring, and you do not touch the kettle. And you are thankful because you are safe and you did not burn yourself. But you can never really know for sure if the kettle was hot or not. It could have all been a little white lie to protect your loved ones. After all, why unnecessarily risk the safety of your child’s fingers if he does reach for the hot metal? Best to be just precautions. Best to lie. You don’t have to be religious to have a crisis of faith. If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

O'y, lads, did you miss out on the Jaron's Outpost Kickstarter and wish you weren't such a big doofus? Well, fear not. Late pledges are now open and they'll be open for a little while, so just head to Kickstarter search for D&D for Nerds or Jaron's Outpost and slam that late pledge button. Although you see no water for miles around, you are, like us, marooned. You're stranded in this sad and lonely place called Barovia. To mix metaphors, we are incarcerated.

The fog that surrounds us are the bars of our dungeon, and Baron von Strade is out jailer. As far as I can tell, there is only one way out, and that is to kill the devil Strad. Okay, well, we've got to keep moving. Thank the rats, and we'll get out of here. The rat returns to its food. Okay, great. Slam, out into the freezing cold street again. and then if we've got to hit another house before the church,

great, or right into the church, whatever we're closest to. You make your way house to house to the church. Hector. Yeah. Years. Neas. You are in Castle Ravenloft so quickly your head spins. I'm looking around.

Fear. You're in the courtyard to Castle Ravenloft. So I assume you maybe have a basic understanding. understanding of what a castle looks like, walls with the actual keep in the middle, you are inside the walls, but not inside the castle itself. As soon as Strad enveloped you, you felt a sudden sense of movement and maybe time passing, you're not sure. Looking up, it's hard to tell due to the sun being obscured by clouds. It's hard to tell if time passed or not. It feels like maybe time has passed. But also, you can't tell that it has. Okay. I make sure, is Gretchen okay?

Gretchen staggers a little bit. She seems like she, it seems like the same thing happened to her. She seems very unsteady on her feet. You, um, you're okay? Gretchen looks at you and then looks at Strad and you can see, it's like a deer in the head, like, she's just frozen. I want to make an expression of just like, almost like a shrug of like, What are you going to do? Yeah. Mick, we have to pick up that this kind of thing, just a bit like...

Well, she's not... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I know. It's just very much, I'm like, what was the expression? You're kind of like, what are you going to do? Like, you've got to just... This is where we are. I try to just reassure her.

You hear... In a way of way. You hear metal upon metal clanking behind you, and you whip around to see that the courtyard was not uninhabited. There are many people here. There's a small, you wouldn't, well, you could call it an army. There's certainly Castle Ravenloft is inhabited, which is perhaps the first time you've discovered that. There are people here.

The battlements are manned. There are soldiers around. They, like, undead or? No, they're people. The sound that you heard was a man approaching you. He removes his helm and you see a Borovian. My lord, you have returned. I forgive me

he looks at you and Gretchen Shall we make two rooms Strad nods And you can see Strad He slowly stands up And in that time that it took for him to stand up Because he was down on one knee In the time that he stands up

It's like it never happened But for one brief moment, Hector He looked old and tired But when he's fully standing He's back as when you first saw him impossibly powerful in appearance I really want to ask for a cloak

because I'm once again realizing my penis is out but I also don't want to interrupt nuts out in Castle Roy of love actually I had forgotten that as well Strad in that moment as well he seems to remember as well he snaps his fingers and gestures a cloak is brought for you

one of the guards there are a few of them now approaching you another guard takes their cloak off wraps it around you. You are immediately warm. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The guard nods, but says nothing. I look around at this. Is it like, are they, I guess it's strad amassing an army as well? Like, almost like a counter. You know a little bit about matters of war. You would say that this is not unusual for a castle of

this size. This looks like just a regular complement of bodies. Um, uh, and I kind of like, yeah, she, she, she's a messing, an army. Um, uh, Strah puts up a hand. Is, uh, have you spoken to Ra Hardin has spoken to me. Yes, she marches upon Borovia. And if I do nothing, she will sweep over these lands. But I am not idle. You are tired. I, I, yes, um, is, is, is, is, is, is, the, the, um, the, um, the, um, refugee, the escapee from the Raden was, is she, is she okay? Elth will dine with us tonight. Oh.

Hector, yes. Strad reaches out a hand. Please, you should rest. Yes. Yes. I have in... Gretchen, is it? Strad turns to Gretchen.

Please, I would be honored if you joined us. Gretchen nods as if there was nothing else to do. I nod as if there's nothing else to do. Yeah. I have infant... I can say what I saw. Rahadin has furnished me with all the detail I need. Hector, I understand the weight of the worlds. It is a burden, but until tomorrow it will wait.

I suppose you were right. Strad takes you into the castle. Some of the guards you see step fall into line behind you as a, not a vanguard, but as like a rear action. It doesn't look hostile or in. anything like that. They're at ease. This doesn't look like the sort of thing where they're making sure you don't try to escape. They're just walking with you. You think these might just be strad's like personal guard who follow him everywhere, potentially. As soon as you enter,

the first room of Castle Ravenloft is a huge, grand hallway, gorgeous, with gargoyles beautifully and immaculately carved above you running near the ceiling of this room. You maybe because of your previous experience with gargoyles you feel a shudder running down your spine but these ones if they are alive they show no evidence of it there is ahead of you a set of grand stairs which lead upwards a less set of grand stairs off to the side which lead down and then many doors on either side of you also in the entryway you are greeted by rahadin and a staff There are people. Borovians dressed smartly, neatly enough, who as you step in, they begin adding to your cloak. There's a attendant offers you a pair of socks and boots. Another one gives you like a loincloth, maybe some pants, a shirt.

You can see they treat Gretchen in a similar manner. She already has some clothes, but they give her like a nice heavy cloak, a coat maybe. They give her nicer boots as well. someone offers you a drink as well I think back to the last time someone offered me a drink yeah well no no no thank you it is okay thank you strad turns hectare please

okay the ring that's if I was mesperized but I guess I'm not I will grab a drink yes I'm sorry I'm trying to also like now fall back to

memories of being in court and fall back into like, what's the appropriate thing to do amongst mobility, kind of? Yeah, to be like, little tiny bits here, there with mobility. It was mostly dealing with, you know, on the, on the outskirts, mostly dealing with, you know, the religious side of the, of being a knight, but it's also like, you had to attend these things, you had to see, you had to approach the king in a certain way, all the different, like, you know, minor houses. And you're like, well, this one, I'm guessing is the king. So it's like, Well, when the king says to do a thing, you do a thing. You probably ought to.

The attendants, as they approach you and, you know, offer you clothes and drink, they peel away as soon as you've accepted it. You can see as they step away, some of them every now and there, a few of them maybe also offered strad some things as well. Like, someone got him a drink as well. You can see strad changes from outdoor boots to indoor slippers. Awesome. Okay. As they do that, they seem very reverent of strad. And anyone who attends to strad directly, he, from a small purse at his side, he produces

a coin to tip people as they attend him. I'm just taking all this in, observing as much as I can, and also just noting how strangely familiar this all is. Just in terms of, like, this is just, and not even, like, even familiar, but, like, kings in in uh in candor didn't tip yeah yeah yeah it's definitely like nobles didn't some nobles some kings just and like you know then like i guess the king that i would be familiar with i'm like he never no god no he never tipped uh rahadin turns to strad my lord rooms have been prepared good rahadin good strad puts a hand on rahadin's shoulder of

grasps him firmly. It gives him a little like a friendly sort of shake. Thank you. I apologize profoundly for the trauma inflicted upon you. And then he gestures to you, Hector and Gretchen. And of course, upon you as well. Had I known what Ivana was planning, I would not have allowed you, not have allowed you to travel north. No, it is partly important. my own thank you thank you strad and raha din lead you up those stairs

and into the bowels of castle ravenloft you can see that this place is immaculately kept it's beautiful inside and it feels warm every now and then you can see that there is not just porch braziers to keep light there's little like fireplaces every now and then sporadically placed throughout castle ravenloft

which channel heat throughout the corridors. Do I think that's strange, like, knowing about vampires, that... This is not for strad's comfort. Yeah, like, vampire is, you know, they don't really... They're not feeling the weather. Yeah. So, I'm just like, that's, I'm like, oh, that's so nice.

It's all warm. Why? Wait, what is... Also, the food and the drink, um, does that taste slightly different to me? Yeah. Or... Oh, yeah, is it your... Well, I do have my tongue.

You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. But your bottom jaw is good. No, I kept my tongue, though, so it tastes all right. Yeah. Okay. Okay. That's just... having a bit of thing.

Yeah. Did you keep your stomach? You'll be pissing it out through a different penis. Yeah, man, that's pretty crazy to think about. You enter into a part of Castle Ravenloft, which is quite clearly meant for guests. You can see that there is room after room after room.

Not like a hotel, not like that many rooms, but there is enough space here for a sizable amount, possibly like a visiting dignitary and their staff to stay, that much space. Just before that area, though, there is a huge set of oak double doors, beautiful, gorgeous wood with a sigil of a sun carved into them. These doors, as beautiful as they are, you can tell from a glance they have not been opened recently. There is a chain through the handle of those doors, and it is locked tight. as you walk past them

strad reaches out you can see strad is not it's not like a conscious thing that he's doing almost like for good luck he does this he reaches out with a hand and gently brushes it drags it along

the door as you walk you can see where his fingers find touch purchase on the wood it's you know you see like a statue and it's got it's been bronzed in a where people always touch it. You can see the exact same thing on these doors.

He must have done this a countless number of times. Okay. I want to, I ask. It's like, I want to ask, it's not my place to ask. Yeah. But, you got to know. Is that, I look at the sun. Is it a religious symbol?

It looks religious. Yeah, it's quite clearly iconography. Okay. The sun god? Strad takes a deep breath in. That can wait. You see he seems dumbfounded for a moment. Like he doesn't know what to say.

Please. All in time. Yes, of course. I just, as we're walking, I just linger at that symbol. You were both brought to rooms next to each other. The doors are opened for you and you're led into a nice, room. It looks, once again, like everything else in Castle Ravenloft, it looks well kept for. It's a, like, a four-poster double bed, comfortable seating, there's like a small space of like a writing

desk, if you want to use that. It's got its own, like, attached bathroom sort of area, not very big or anything like that, but certainly the nicest place you've stayed, maybe even before Barovia as well. It's pleasant here. There is no fireplace here, but there is a great set against the floor, which heat slowly wafts out of. Presumably, this somehow connects to one of the many fireplaces. I guess I just take it all in and just, yeah, just take that all in because it is not at all what I had imagined. The stories that I was hearing, I imagine this was a very dark, like decrepit falling down, spiders in like, but you know, large. Yeah, yeah, gigantic spiders.

In, like, every corner manned by nothing but ghouls and skeletons. Yeah. You're like, what the heck? This is not, okay. Strad, standing at the doorway, I must leave you. I have business to attend to nothing of interest, accounting. But in the meantime, rest, someone will be by with clothes for you. It would be very appreciative. Thank you very much.

Oh, and for tonight, Hector. Forgive me, but I must know. He leans in. He takes a... My neck... My neck tenses. His entire time he'd been standing at the doorway to your room. He leans in a little bit just so... Not that he's in the room, but that his head passes the threshold. and some lizard, some lizard part of the back of your brain is like he entered my room.

Of course, it's this, yeah, he has any permission. These are his rooms. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, all right. Yeah, that flares up in your brain. But as he leans in, just passes his head through the threshold. Four to nine, do you have any allergies? No, no, no, no, no allergies, no.

No. No. Nothing I'm allergic to. Excellent. I believe roast pork vegetables. Strad reaches in, grabs the handle to the door, and closes it as he leaves. That would be delightful. It's too nice. I don't like it. Sounds up, dude. Okay.

Is Gretchen in her own room as well? Yeah, Gretchen is in the room next door. There's, is like a joining door, which can be locked from either side or from both side. Okay. You hear it unlock from Gretchen's side. Okay, well, I, yeah, then, almost like, shaking my head out of any kind of thought or trance, I go when I unlocked the door between the two rooms and... Gretchen opens it.

Do we escape? I don't think so. I don't... How are you... Come in. Is there like a chairs we could just sit down on? Yeah.

So I was... Three months? I was out. Yes, Gretchen says. It's been months. Right. And apart from, of course, the obvious... Tell me, what did they do to you?

Did they just... They held me. That is it? I think it was... She shudders. I think I was like... spare parts waiting to be used. I kind of look at my own body.

Ficked up, you could have woken up with Gretchen's bits in you. Yeah, man. Oof. I don't think we escape if we tried. I mean, I think there's going to be a war tomorrow. Gretchen looking at you says, I hope so. The alternative is that that army sweetly. into Borovia and I can think of I mean what worse could happen the people taken and

harvested like that you didn't I was not the only person there where I was kept the people they would capture they would take I spoke with some other people they they've been to other the the other like yeah realms they would come take take people and then take them apart? Yeah, when I was, I woke up once and I had been taken apart. I don't really know the full extent of it. I had not sure. I had no, myself.

No, I thought that Strad was the being of pure evil when I first arrived. and the people of this land, they talk to him, they talk about him like he is this whole powerful, all-consuming monster, but did you see what? He tips this stuff. He has stuff. I got him, Jack.

I got him. Pipp, tearing at the church. Don't know what that was. Pipp just starts puking uncontroll. Something bad's happening. They got him. They got him. They got him. I sit down, like, maybe on the, either there's a chair or the way, maybe we were sitting

already down, I could slump further down, and I start maybe just sort of, because Gretcher has not been around Barovia for very long, so it's this kind of, it's very funny, she spent more time in, um, Borka, Borchre, yeah, than you spent in Borovia, which is funny. Um, so I start like, maybe just sort of like going through everything that we've sort of done and like all the sort of like either the monstrosities or the people we've come up again so it's just sort of like as I'm listening like we met the angel in the Abbey he was you know doing experiments in a very similar way to the Ivana hopefully or maybe actually like hopefully you'll meet and you doesn't matter but he he was experimenting on on people

and he was he made a similar construct like a bride of strad because he thought it would appease strad but he was never asked to and then and the people in the in the abbey

the people that were maimed transformed or deformed in any way I mean they were shunned by the townsfolk and then in In Valakai, it was the purge master trying to summon great evil.

In Couthery, it was the bride of Strad, but Strad himself. I understand, like, and just like look at around. But everywhere we go, he's a great evil. No, he murdered, committed genocide. He slaughtered the dusk elves before my time. I kind of start talking, you know, I start talking to Gretchen and I start explaining to Gretchen some of the stories that I have told about the prior uprising of what happened and that, like, even re-telling the story of the Kenku that Pipp told.

Trompets. Told Hector about, yeah, about trumpets. And then it's just like, so he was turned and then as a way of retribution, yeah, the dust girls that fought up against him or rose up against him, he slaughtered all the women. I had a friend, she'd been to the town of Borovia and said it was like almost, it was salted or the inhabitants worse than anywhere she'd been. and where they farm he salted the fields so we've been told I think

but I look around I'm like I don't know there's something strange happening I don't know what I don't know what Gretchen tells you in turn of her time and she tells you not of many horrors but of one constant horror

she tells you of the stories that she heard from Ivana's enemies of towns within Boucher being drained of people to fuel her army. Hundreds and thousands of people torn apart piece

by piece and put back together. She tells you of pieces of people being restitched and restitched and restitched. And the horrifying discovery weeks in that pieces of people

can remember themselves. And as she says that, she looks at you briefly and both of you wonder that if the pieces of you that are not you are aware of what is happening to them. And she tells you of Ivana's allies who she spoke with, her jailers, who would tell her allies would tell tales of how manipulations, magical and sometimes mundane, that Ivana uses to control

and keep people, that she, that the lands of Bortchar, people can freely enter and leave because no one ever leaves. Oh. Avana chains people to Bortchar in ways that Strad simply cannot.

There's a device. I explain what that, you know, I describe it very, like the sphere. That is, um, within so many of them, us. That, that is, um, you remove it, um, you die. You know, it puts a poison in you. Ivana love, Ivana loves her poisons. I think I know where my arm will be. Hmm.

No, that's a, that's a start. It doesn't matter. Did you, did you, did you find out maybe? Any reasoning why she wants to invade Barovia? The rumor is she wants the dark lands for herself, not part, all. Dark, as in every realm. Yes, she has designs. Each of the realms is controlled or owned by a dark lord.

Barovia is a creature called vampire. Orcher. Right, Vampire, yes. It is above Coutcheri, there's this amber temple. And it was housing many evils. One of them being vampire, the other one is what the Berger Master worshipped. I don't really want to say his name out. You might have heard these stories of a very powerful being that would freeze the world.

Gretchen puts up a hand, nods, and then she doesn't actually write the words, but she, with her finger, puts it on the table and traces Father Lemmec. I nod, and he was trapped in the Amber Temple, but I think he's free in the town of Valakai. Ivana has designs and desires beyond the dark realms, though. And there is rumor among her allies, though she keeps her objectives to herself. But there is rumour that an entity within the Amber Temple can maybe grant her access to the realms beyond, to the material, to other places.

I think back to the Amber Temple. I mean, we didn't explore it to a, you know, the fullest extent and degree. But we did come across some, like, ancient gods. Oh, yeah, there was heaps of guys. And I try to, like, think of any of those. maybe there's the ones that she wants to try to free or anything like that

to try to cast her my back. You're not sure what, you don't really know much about the dark powers themselves, but it is not outside. That seems a plausible thing. Yeah. Ivana's main opponent in this is Strad. Many of the other dark lords

would like to see the back of her. Strad is apparently the only one who resists. Resist. How many do you know, you find out how many... I didn't learn much outside of Borture itself.

Who does she ally herself with? She doesn't involve the... She has no allies. She has pets, pawns. There is one of her servants, the thing that attacked human elf.

Spoke him a few times. Yes. One of her lieutenants. It is not a willing ally. No. He wants to get out. I think If we somehow find a way to free him, that would serve us well. Gretchen laughs darkly. We'll put it on the pile.

And I met my friend, Pip, I met his sister. She was there. It's the Cobalt. Okay. Cool. The Cobbold's his sister. She, you realize Gretchen must have encountered. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you encountered? Are they similar, would you say? To cover any question. In summary cards, they were... Specifically, what regards? And how close a friend are you to Pip? Good question as well. Right, question.

Look, Pip has his foibles, but I would consider him, honestly, one of my closest friends. There's a knock at the door. Um, they just grew up in the, in the same, uh, religious orphanage. Come in. As the person, you hear Gretchen ask, but she is interrupted. You hear Gretchen ask, so they were raised by the same purse. Then the door opens and a two attendants walk in.

Actually, well, yeah, sorry, I was about to say as if they knew that you were both in this room. But no, actually, there's a knock at Gretchen's door as well. and some people walk in for her. You can see two people walk in. A tailor? Well, no, I guess they'd both be tailors. Two people walk in and one begins taking measurements and the other one begins fitting clothes to you.

I have a little minor freak here. A little bit of a post-traumatic... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the last time someone was measuring taking your measurements. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If they notice that, one of them says, we can come back later. No, no, it is okay.

It is the last time someone did this, I ended up, not myself. Oh, forgive me. No, it's... We can get something perhaps baggy, maybe, that would still be more? No, no, no, it is...

No, it's okay. I stand, I guess, to my fullest height. A little bit taller now. Yeah, a little bit taller than it used to be. Yeah. Have I reached, I think, because Hector was a realest, Originally 6-2 round about there.

Maybe more like 6-5 now. Okay, I was going to say, are we, yeah, like, still within relatively human size, or are we, like, sitting that 7-foot kind of, like, monstrosity. 6-5, 6-5. Okay, tall, though. God damn. Oh, man, yeah. Opening doors is just like what are those things where, yeah. I guess full of, like, muscle memory, but not anymore, because that's, that muscle memory is somewhere else.

Yeah, I think, like, must be very strange. um yeah i yeah stand up to my full fullest height and and okay uh yeah uh is this is this what is this for again sorry clothes clothes of course would you like uh we can monogram the clothes if you wish or if you have a sigil something you would like us anything you would like us to stitch within um a strawberry they're not the person doing the actual tailoring maybe asks you a few further questions like you know the shape the size positioning that sort of stuff

I kind of almost like I don't know use your best judgment they as where you might put a monogram they instead put a strawberry a little strawberry they help people to find that in using they make you a nice pair of pants shirt a coat maybe a big over jacket as well for when

it gets extra cold, you don't need that now, but you might need it later. Maybe even like a hat, a fur-lined hat, and, of course, socks and boots. I thank them. No, no, yeah. Is it, the implication is like this is to wear now, or is it to, like, when the... To wear to dinner. Yeah. They're actually, you know what?

Great question. In addition to that set of clothes, they make several, you've got like several sets of clothes now. You've got like maybe three shirts, a couple jackets, some pants, some under clothes as well. They ask, well, first off, they're just, you can see that they're just assuming to make a nice set of clothes. Like something that a noble might wear, they're making that. But then they ask, one of the attendants asks, we can make something more travel hardy, we could make just simple clothes. Travel hardy would be nice. They make you a set of traveling clothes, something designed.

to be worn on the road? Maybe a bit extra warm. Maybe that's where that overcoat comes in, honestly. So you've got, yeah, a set of, like, nice clothes, nice robes, a set of travel clothes. Is there anything else that you want? I don't think it would occur to Hector to ask for anything else, apart from just, like, yeah, it gets cold and the wearing furs and all that kind of stuff, or even trying to find, like, good clothing that kept us warm was hard to do. So, yeah, I guess, yeah, traveling clothes, practical considerations. really yeah well maybe then they make you two sets two options for practical clothes and then one set

of nice clothes fantastic um thank you very much you can see through the the gretchen leaves the door open and you can see as she's undergoing a similar thing she explains how to do gulliver's eye for her pattern right thank you when the clothes have been finished there's another knock at the door uh yes i mean the attendants leave as this happens. Rahadin steps in. He looks at you, then looks through the open doorway at Gretchen. When you are ready, please make your way down for supper. Thank you. We'll be there momentarily. He nods. The master likes to keep things punctual. Please, in the next 10 to 15. Of course. Yeah, are we fully dressed?

You're dressed by her, yeah. I look over to Gretchen if she's all. She's ready as well. Yeah, we'll be right down. Rahadin nods. He, before he leaves, he maybe just gives you like a vague idea of where to go as well. It's not hard. And as he's leaving, he says, if you have trouble, just waylay one of the staff.

Of course, thank you. Rahdin, you're just snappy little, like, clicks his boots together and then leaves. Yep. All right. Yeah. I think they'd do up my tie, but what kind of, like, formal clothes? What's the nice, I guess, a nobles outfit, do you have puffy sleeves? Yeah.

You could describe it yourself if you want. They make it to your specifications. Oh, man. What would have been the, I guess, the fashion of candor at the time for the nobility? Oh, would you even know, honestly? You Oh hey I've rolled a 20 on hats before I would know this

Okay well you know what the hats are supposed to work I knew I know fashion You know Hector knows fashion Yeah yeah Hector knows enough fashion About like the royals that he'd be like Fashion for fashion dude You know that the current in craze

is ruffles and they are slowly getting bigger Awesome Big ruffly sleeves Oh, I meant Mech. Mech. Oh, Jacobian, rough. Yes, please. That's awesome.

Yeah, I would have probably described it at the time where I would be like, not what the, you know, the higher rationale of like, you know, the ability. The cutting edge, yeah. Not the cutting edge. Well, you know, I'd have a ruffle bigger than the king. Well, of course, that would be, you know, a treason. Yeah. But I do do describe, like, yes, the fashion of the time where I was from,

which would be like, yeah, probably more of a what I would expect at a stage dinner. for the, I guess, the nobility to wear. Would Knight of the Cloth and, like, I guess, the religious factions also be partaking in, like, that similar sort of... No, knight of the cloth do not dress up. I guess, like, not Knights of the Cloth, but, like, is there a term for, like, say, like, the stewards or, like, the people in, like, the people who are, like, who are looking after the church, but they're more, like, dealing with, like, politicking and those kind of things? They're the ones going and rubbing shoulders, et cetera, et cetera. Like, what's that fashion? Well, they would probably just do fashion of the crowns,

of fashion that is popular with the crown and the nobility. It would be, so like I said, big ruffles. Yeah, big ruffles around the neck. It would be long, like wizard sleeves, but then kind of tapered to a very tight tautness around the upper arm. What's this? This is your upper arm?

Upper forearm, yes, thank you. A small hoop skirt just coming kind of like down, just around basically the crotch area if you want to dress masculine and full hoop skirt if you'd like to dress feminine. The big bustle on the back? Yeah, big bustle. Love a bustle, dude. All right, I'll go with more masculine, I guess, garb.

All right, well, yeah, I guess I adjust my ruffles and my wizard sleeves. Does he look sort of... Stupid, yeah. But, like, to Gretchen, does he look extra absurd? Because she's from, like, you know, hundreds and hundreds of years in the past. You could see Gretchen's fancy outfit is a huge fur coat that drapes along the floor. You know, the sort of wedding dress that, like, three people need to pick up, like, that big? And it's got a huge fur hoodie, which has this large, huge point to it, with a big tassel at the top,

which sticks up very stiff and starched. And then underneath that, she's wearing very colourless browns and blacks. A simple... Tabard? No, no, no, no, no. Vest. A simple vest on top of a black shirt, black pants,

which she has tucked in. As I look over, I start laughing. And slippers. I start laughing. I just am like, It is nice to know that the fashion of any time is truly absurd. Do you have the... I don't know what you're talking about, she says.

I'm like, of course you do not. I guess you do not have the Roy Congerge during your time, do you? She shakes her head. You have a king, yes? Who has a king? The Candor. Who? The nation of Candor.

You don't have a king's road yet, do you? Of course not. Her order was established before the king, yeah, specifically because there was none. Right, yes. Yeah, in my time, there is an elite, I guess, military faction that is run allegiance to the king. Of can, of where? It is like a nation. We would have had a nation states. I try to remember my history. Is there anything I can relate back to...

Like, what was in Candle before? I know if one was in Candle, just, like... I understand that, like, you know, nations are formed and changed and borderlines and this kind of stuff. So, before... Yeah. It'd be like, you know, lordship or whatever, that might have been. Well, the gnomes in Zamjada,

well, they don't have a king. They have a president. But for you, for a hector, there's no... Your understanding of politics, well, of gnomish politics. is such that a king and a president are basically the same thing to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you might describe the gnomes. You have the gnomest nation to the north. Zamjada. They have like a, like a, I think it is a president or something like that or a king. Yeah. So it's something like that. It's like the king of Appleville. Really? There's a king of Appleville.

Yeah. You realize she might be from so far away that Candor hadn't been formed yet? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm gathering that. It's just like, wow, each little tiny, I guess, village had its own, like a king. Yeah, yes, like a king of that. So imagine if, I guess, the lands keep expanding. I guess kings, is there another, is there a closer king to Apple?

Like another nation? King of Blue Beach. Right. Yes, okay. You may have a look at the geography. So, like, imagine if, say, most of the southern towns from the... let's say, Apple would be all the way down to Blue Beach, was under one nation.

That's, like, it's candle. Candle's big, she says. Yes, it is one of the biggest nations out there. Anyway, the Kingsguard, I guess, in my future, it is a, they dress in a certain way, but another companion of ours, John Cavendish, He is from even further into the future than I. And let me tell you about his silly little hat.

Pip, yes. You can see the Church of St. Andrew ahead of you. You just need to get across the street. Okay. You look to the left. You look to the right. You look back to the left because the ban tree is there.

Fuck. Okay. Cool. What is she immune to? Yeah, good. Okay, well, cold, the potion of cold I made previously is of no use to me here. Yep.

Resistance to acid, fire, lightning, and psychic. Okay. Okay. It doesn't leave us much. Hmm, acid fire, lightning, psychic. Okay. Immune, you say. Immune, no, resistant.

Ah. Immune to cold, necrotic, and poison. Resistant to acid, fire, lightning, and psychic. Okay, and your crossbow, you can at least change that to something it's not immune to, which is nice. Well, that's some small blessings. Yes. This is one of my options again with the crossboat. Fire, cold acid and lightning.

Okay. Hmm. Pip, as you do that double take, you look back, you can see, it's like the Banshee doesn't properly... You think maybe the Banshee hasn't spotted you yet. Okay. It looks like it's Lady Watcher. You can see. It's a ghostly pale visage of Lady Watcher.

She takes a few steps back. She has both of her hands pressed up against her chest. You can see that there is a dagger protruding from where she is grasping at. We're all good. Stop! Stop! Then, because, like I said, at first you think she hasn't spotted you. She wheels around on you

And you can see that is her spotting you Ahassan She points at you You think that this ban she means to kill you It's your turn Okay The dagger Now the dagger in her heart

It's not in her heart It's in her chest So someone's put it in the wrong place Bullshit Okay Okay I would like to fire Two

What are they called Oh, I'm so sorry Do you think this is an actual dagger In The Banshee? Yeah, yeah, no, no, it's a dagger, okay This is her reliving a moment from her life Presumably her last Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's not a golden dagger

It's a, no, well, it's a ghostly dagger, you can't even tell, yeah. Well, either way, I'm going to fire two pinning shots at her I'm going to crank it to fire because that's the only way she doesn't have immunity to You, if you were a pyromaniac that's a very funny joke it's a very good joke it's very funny

it's very funny very well done congratulations Adam I was like I wonder if it's like how could you tell is this like the dagger form from cold eye

and was this the one that was used to some and farther limit is true true I was like or kitchen knife where the staff was like hey You know, hey, we can just kill Lady Watcher.

But you're gonna see ya. You fire two pinning shots. I, unfortunately, she is immune to that. Oh, immune to being pinned. Yeah, she's a ghost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the shots do, both shots hit. They'll still do some meager damage to her.

I forget if it's D-6s or... Yeah, I think it's D-6s. So fire damage, did you say? Mm-hmm. And you're shooting a heavy crossbow. So, okay, okay, that's not nothing. Okay. 6, 9, 17 plus only half of this.

Yeah. 17 plus 6 is 23. 23 points of damage. Hey, not bad. Not bad. That's pretty good, I would say. Then I'm going to let the crossbow drop and stick my fingers in my ears. And then turn around to everyone else.

I encourage you to do the same They don't do it in fifth edition But in 3.5 and 4thead Yeah Bards used to have you know counter spell So Bards used to have a power called Counter Song And if something like a Banshee's Whale

They could counter that in the same way That you'd counter a spell They don't do it anymore But it's such a shame Yeah it's kind of sick I like I think it's cool I'm Muriel Looks at you and says

Are we fighting now? Is this the plan? I was trying to slow it down. Keep moving. Keep moving. Get in the church. Oh, we're slowing it down. She points a finger at the banshee, and you hear, and you see, Miriel, close her eyes, concentrate very hard, and then an explosion of feathers leaps out of her finger, and a raven slams into the banshee.

The raven explodes into more. feathers when it slams into the banshee and she deals she deals 32 points of damage whoa that's pretty good the banshee is blasted back 30 feet and then Muriel starts sprinting with her fingers in her ears towards the church cool cool it's Iona's turn Iona puts her hand on your back and she whispers into your ear run fast you feel a surge like you've been electrified

you know you're aware that if you started moving your legs they would move at quite the rate she you see the same as spell is affecting her and she sprints past you she gets to the door this turn well I'll do the same then it's the

banshee's turn the banshee has not seen its reflection Yeah, so it regenerates 20 hitpits. Oh yeah, yeah, I didn't think it. We're not killing it, okay? We're just getting in the church so we can... It's very defensive the way you said that. I know we're not killing it. We're not killing it, Adam, okay?

We're just trying to survive, all right? Christ's sake. And then... Assassins! The Banshee releases a mournful whale, provided that she isn't in sunlight, this whale has no effect on constructs and undead. You a construct, I forget. No, I'm a man. Yeah.

All other creatures within 120 feet of her make a con saving throw. My fingers in my ears, doesn't snother... It gives you an advantage. Okay, hey, I'll take it, dude. I'll bloody take it. You pass? Yes. And you know what? The other two have their fingers in their ears as well. Well, I told them to you. Yeah, I'm covering my lizard ear holes.

So you sprint to the church? What happens with your crossbow? It's slung around my shoulder. It's on a strap. It's on a strap? Yeah. Okay, all right, I didn't know that. That's like the first thing Durak taught me, dude. Strap, strap, strap, strap, strap, strap, struts. Use a strap or you'll get the strap.

Iona is also fine, but you see Muriel clutches at her heart. Okay. Can I, I guess I've already run to the church. No, she dies. No. Oh, damn. No. On a failed save, they are cut.

Disadvantage on saving throws, attack falls, and skill checks. Additionally, they will die within 24 hours unless they are able to reduce the banshee to zero hit points first. If her character dies in this way, the curse transfers to the next of kin, allowing them another saving throw, and will continue to transfer in this way until it ends the original target's lineage. On a successful save, a creature takes...

Oh, that's right. Okay. Oh, thank God I read to the end. Okay, very interesting. The muriel has to be the one to... reduce it to zero cool that's fine that a problem

you and I owner take what? What the heck what the hell? 10, 20 oh my god 32 39 39 48

sure sure dude bit of fun okay so Pip what's up dude uh hang on let me quick quickly before I gloat. I'm going to apply the 48. No.

All right. So, Iona is reduced to zero hit points. Okay. So, Iona collapses. Fuck. Pip, you had a maximum hit points of 39. Uh-oh, dude. Now, Pip, uh-oh. You take 48 points of damage. Oh, fuck, dude.

You had... Now, I would like to remind you, if I deal after the... After your current hit points, if I still have 39... points of damage. Yeah. You die. And the damage was 48. But this is my, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I rest?

Didn't I rest to fix this? You had 10 hit points. Okay. Fuck me, dude. So, you were one. Fuck. Point. Jesus Christ.

You were one point. Jesus Christ. You and Iona both collapsed. fuck okay a really bad opening salvo you're so lucky though as you're collapsing

yeah not only did you miss dying by one hit point as you hit the ground you you did this right before the chapel you can see the last thing that you see

as Iona was about to reach for the doors the doors begin opening from inside You know,