D&D is For Nerds - Barovia IV #22 Trouble

Episode Date: January 3, 2026

Well, hm, looks like this particular corner of the Shadowfell's got itself a mighty big vampire shaped problem. Thats ok. We can get some kind of posse together I'm sure. Hell, just gotta get the right kinda folks. People with training, people with skills, and most important, people who give a damn. Shoot. Wont be the first time I've faced off against some ne'er do well who's too big for his britches and by hell if its gonna be the last.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

O'y, lads, did you miss out on the Jaron's Outpost Kickstarter and wish you weren't such a big doofus? Well, fear not. Late pledges are now open and they'll be open for a little while, so just head to Kickstarter search for D&D for Nerds or Jaron's Outpost and slam that late pledge button. Although you see no water from miles around, we are nevertheless marooned. Stranded in this nightmare called Barovia, to change metaphors, we are important. imprisoned. The mister surrounds us

are our prison bars, and Baron von Straught are warden. As far as I can tell, there's no escape except death. Either his or ours. You, Pipp, you bump Muriel out of the way. You hear Muriel,

wait! The Lost Bolt strikes. The Banshee disappears. Oh, sorry. You can still, we'll do the permanent one though. We've got more, we've got more than a week to do it. Well, you have. How you doing, little buddy? I tap the kid on the back of the head. Cold. Right. Let's get to the blue water in. Explosively, Pip, you burst into the blue water in. It is one year before the events of Castle Ravenloft, one year before you fled Keenings Army. Danica, a drink.

Danica, who was polishing a tankard at one of the tables, looks around to you. Are you okay? Do we have any wine, or is it just? They have wine, yes, of course. Regular swill that you're serving here, Danica. She laughs. I can get you some wine. Okay, that's good to hear.

Is there like some stalls at the bar? As you walk into the bar, she grabs your wrist, looks at you meaningfully and says, Is this a celebratory night, or just wine? Just wine, Danica. There's nothing amazing's happened. I've just been at the Tsar Falls looking around. Haven't seen much. I like going to sit up at the bar.

Looking, she, Danica follows you towards the bar. She walks around behind it and she says, looking for your next, and she does a little gesture on the table to drawing the outline of a Taraka card. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no luck, but I mean, I'm... No luck. Shut up, damn.

She laughs. How have things been here? Same as ever. Did Paul come? Paul has not been through. No. Okay. Well, last I heard he was going to Coutcheri anyway, because someone could fix his foot. I wish him luck.

She poses on that for a second. If someone can fix his foot, they could be found at Coochard. Well, yeah, I mean, it's only an enlarged foot, so I'm sure. He's pretty mad. She starts pouring you a glass of Merlo, let's say. Danny, I say, mood, elevated. She puts up her hands. I'm not here to be upset.

I'm not morose. Of course, of course. All is well in Valika. All is well in Valica as they keep saying, Danny, as they keep saying. She cleans in. You can see she's completely, it's, it's, you wouldn't call it busy. It's not as busy as it gets here. It's definitely not quiet.

There's a lot of people here. She leans, she ignores the entire tavern, leans across the bar to you. Pip. Yeah, Danny? I have exciting news. Lay it on me. You know the Bojomaster's right-hand man, Isaac. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

I've heard. And I understand you would be going from big foot to strange arm. Okay. But I've heard that he's single. I know he's kind of, you know, your type. I like, you know, do that thing where, like, I lean around on the bar, put your elbows kind of like on it to like look out at the tavern. Yeah.

And I go, hmm, you don't think it's too soon after Paul? People will talk, Daddy. I think you need the rebound. Okay. Isaac. Isaac, Isaac, Isaac. Would you say, I mean, he's my type, sure, but would you say I'm his type? I'm not many people's type, Danny.

Remember. Pip, that's the trick about you. You're not long enough for them to realize. Shut up. She laughs. She gives a large, tinkling laugh. There's people looking for drinks, Danny. Go serve them.

She pulls away from the table and goes to start serving people. She puts the glass of wine. She puts a glass of wine next to you and she says, on the house. Oh, you're too kind. You're too kind. As she moves around, you spot, because now you're facing the tavern and you can see, you're, you know, scanning the crown. just having a look at the faces.

You see someone among the tavern that you've not seen before, a new face, probably an adventurer of sorts. He's sitting at one of the table. You can see there's a bunch of people around him, and he's quite clearly commanding. He's commanding not just this table, but a couple tables nearby. You can see people have turned around to listen to him talking. He's, you wouldn't call him, you wouldn't actually say Scragly. I was about to say Scragley. That's not correct.

He's got more of like a five o'clock shadow. A large cowboy hat Which he has tilted back up He's literally rocking it Or holding it just off his head a little bit With a big gloved hand His other gloved hand He has resting on the table

gesturing at a map in front of him Does Danny, is she like wheels right Does she swing by me? Like is she swing close enough That I could like hook In the same way that she grabbed your wrist You grab hers Danny

I lean in conspiratorily Who's that? he's gorgeous she follows your eye line looks back at you I don't know if his name is Keening is he what an adventurer

he just blew into town yes he's been around a few places now apparently here to tell he's gathering people for a insurrection why do you tell me about Isaac when are you kidding me yeah she looks at Keeney

she looks at you I don't know if he's your type Danny Are you looking at the same man I am? It's not what I mean. Don't get me wrong. Of course, he's... Anyway.

Beautiful. Yeah? Yes. Anyway. Look, I hear he's recruiting for this insurrection. So if you're looking to get close to him and you don't have much scruples and then she walks away. Shut up, Danny. You can see, she's got like, she looks back at you with a huge grin.

And then maybe as she looks back at you. did huge grin. She gives you a shrug and she mouths, go on. I like take a little moment because I am like, oh my, like he, what a man. Yeah. And like I'll maybe look down at myself, my like sort of thin dragonborn body.

But then I'll grab the wine neck it, place it next to me and I'll maybe like neat and myself as best I can rub down any kind of like peeling away scales and stroll on over. As you stroll on over keening,

puts both of his hands down on the table, pushes himself, leaning, so he's leaning back a little bit, kicks both of his booted feet up on one of the chairs, and you hear kind of like the tail end of a joke, and everyone at the table laughs. Did I hear the joke? I can't sit down laughing.

You get maybe the tail end, something like, and then the brother as well fell into the lake just the same. I'll kind of approach the table Maybe I'll wait for the laughter to die down Like I'll slow my pace toward them And then I'll approach the table and be like I'm sorry to interrupt Wokane he says and he sticks out his hand

Pip, I shake his Is there a seat available? Leaning, still leaning back on his chair He kicks underneath the table And a chair neatly spills out for you to sit in I sit down, but I don't break eye contact. So, like, shaking his hand, let go of the hand, and keeping eye contact to sit down in the chair. You got a sure name, Pip?

A Mandarin. And you? Keenan. Wokane Keenan. Not to be too forward, but a friend of mine said that you were recruiting. Adventurer? Yeah, something like that. Well, yeah, I'm looking to cause trouble.

You looking to cause trouble? Yeah, I would say in that, our goals are aligned. Well, I got a lot of manpower. What I'm looking for is a certain set of skills. You can see, when he talks, no one else wants to talk. It's not a, you can tell as well the vibe is not like fear. People seem, you have not seen this. Well, you have seen this maybe, but it's very uncommon.

The people around him seem hopeful. They're looking to him as like a leader The people here, there's like a brevity, a lightness right now The people here quite clearly are relaxed In the way Barovians are not typically relaxed Okay Well I swing from which I always have on me I assume my crossbow around

And I place it on the table I mean, you know, I'm a pretty good shot He looking at the crossbow You see recognition flashing over his face like uh not just any sort of sharp shot sharp shot yeah yeah keen eye sharp shot companions tend to have military experience that sound right yeah that sounds right yeah oh pip yeah yeah well i got a lot of people with a lot of heart a lot of guts but i don't got people with a lot of knowledge you were sort of person who might be able to the leader of man

as it were. Are they like peanuts on the table? It's a bowl, yeah. Okay, I grab a handful of I grab the biggest peanut. Yes. Throw it into this guy, pull out my crossbow and twang, try and shoot the peanut into the roof or into like a crossbeam or something.

Do I do it? Well, it's a narrative thing. We'll say you do, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Just call me General Mandarin. And then I wink at him. Got a ring to it. Pip, you are bedraggled, exhausted, and low on health. The blue water in is a shadow, a shell of what it once was.

And I mean shell, as you burst, as you explode through the doors, you need to shift. There's like a bunch of crap that has been piled up against the door that you need to awkwardly make your way through. Once I'm through to the other side, I'll take all that crap and pile it back up against the door as well. Well, I would let the end up. Presumably, I don't know.

And the rest of... I just assume. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And all of you pile into the blue water in. You can see, like I said, a shell, anything that wasn't fixed to the ground has been pushed up against some sort of entrance to prevent people from getting in.

The only furniture still here is mostly just the bar. And then there's a... I don't know if you'd remember this, but there is kind of like where you... Where the tables and chairs would normally be, there is above them, like a railing where all the rooms are. You can see, yeah, the bar and the railing are really the only thing that still exist.

The stairs have been also knocked out. Okay. You see, as soon as you burst in, you can hear the tight twang of crossbows and you look up to see Danica, Irwin, and a bunch of other people all pointing down at you. It's just us. It's just us. Don't shoot. Don't shoot. Don't shoot. A bunch of people, like, lower their crossbow. Well, everyone except Danica lowers their crossbows. Danica lingers for a second, and then when she sees that Claudia's with you, she lowers her crossbow.

Okay. Do I still have the kid on my back? Yeah. Okay, I drop the kid off. Maybe I, like, walk the kid over to the stairs and, like, hoist him up to the top. They lower, like, a rope bridge down for all of you. You see, there's a brief moment. And Erwin gives Danica a meaningful look, and she keeps the bridge down

for all of you. How many strong are you, I say, to Danica? To Danica? Yeah. She thinks for a moment and she says, what is the plan? We have, I would say, 15 who can fight, 10 who can move. We've got two goals, basically, at the moment. Muriel, unfortunately, poor dear, she's cursed.

And the only way to fix that is for her to go to the watcher house and try and deal with the ghost of a banshee. That's probably kind of pressing. But also, we need to head to the blacksmith because that's what Keening is. So, I mean, that's the direction we're heading. If you've got any manpower to spare, we'll take it. But also, if you don't, you know, probably better just hold up here and try and wait this out. While you're saying this, you can see Irwin and Muriel embrace each other very closely.

Maybe part of you is like, oh, yeah, they're family. Yeah, yeah, that's right. And you hear the two Marnikov kids scream out, Auntie Mee. and both of them pour out from one of the rooms and they're all, all of them are embracing as Danica is kind of focusing on you. Iona steps in very briefly and it's just kind of awkwardly standing next to you. Then as you start finishing, Iona sticks out a hand and says, I am and Danica flashes her a quick look and says, Iona, mirth song, I know. Yeah. You know, we were going ahead to the to the to the to the to the blacksmith first but i think i think i i just ruined one chance

muriel had at getting rid of the curse so i should probably help her with the last chance that she has yeah as i say that i glance over at like muriel and meeting her family and then i turn back to dana car and i say and um it was difficult to get in here obviously so we had to uh you recall a go gash i believe you met him briefly orc gentleman a go gash yes yes so he's in the city and he's currently allied with us it's not everyone's first choice obviously but well he's helped us so far and when we deal with this whole business we'll have to deal with him but um yes my my how events make strange bedfellows yeah yeah um okay you can see what she's about to say pains her and she says you would know best of the

this entity, this ghost, is this a all hands-on-deck situation? Look, honestly, I said to Danica, it could just be me and Muriel. Maybe that's the most practical sort of choice. And then what would the rest of us do? Head for the blacksmith, see if you can help Elaniel and cribbit and Keening. She nods. All right. She turns to her group and she starts barking orders.

As she turns, I put my hand on her shoulder. She turns back. But if you'd rather stay here, that's okay. Don't waste what you don't have. She bristles. Trying to be nice, Danny. It is better that this ends now. Okay.

You are here. Did you explain Keening speaking to you? I probably would have. Okay. We know not what situation, Elaniel, Cribut, and Marquilot are in. But if they need assistance, we will send them assistance. Okay. You and Muriel will take care of this banshee and then the rest of us will make haste to the blacksmith.

These walls have proven very little in the way of defense anyway. Okay. It shouldn't take us too long. We've literally just got to stab a corpse. So, you know, that's the kind of thing that's often over and done. so we'll be there as soon as we can. Very well. Let's not tarry.

She divides the group such that a bunch of the defenders who can move and Claudia will take whatever non-combatants or people who can't move will take them back to the temple. Now that the banshee's gone, the most... It's just cultists. It's mostly just cultists who aren't that thick in number that it's going to be that much of an issue. It's honestly the cold is what's going to cause them the most trouble. But because you made your way here from the temple and Claudia knows the way, she can just retrace your steps and you know that that's been cleared.

That's good. So Claudia and just like the people who can move are going to take the people who can't move and the children back to the temple. Cool. Where then Danica Irwin and who else do you have in your group? Danica Erwin and Iona are going to go. go help a go gash and then you and muriel are going to go deal

with the banshee okay all right before as you're about to step out of the blue water in danica looks at you pip and you see her mouth opens then it closes and she closes her eyes and then explodes out

into the into the storm we've got a lot of making up to do I say to Muriel To you, too. Yeah, anyway, let's... Muriel gives you a very tired look. Yeah, all right. No point, you know, dwelling on it.

Let's, uh, is she, she's not, like, physically sort of like... She can move as fast as she ever did, but she has disadvantage to any D20 roll, basically. That's, all right, no worries. All right, maybe with her behind me, then, we'll burst out into the snow and start trying to navigate our way to Lady Watchers' house. Okay. Would you say you knew the way to Lady Watchers' house? I believe I did from my previous time in Valichai, right? Okay, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I was just, I'm just, actually, I'm honestly, what I'm asking is how confident is Pip with his history? Or is, how confident are you with Valichai's layout? I think fairly confident. Yeah, okay. Well, you, in that case, then, you make your way to Lady Watch's house without too much difficulty. Okay. There's no reason for any cultists to be here, so there's none here.

You get the impression, well, you don't get the impression, actually. Danica and Owen would have told you this. Yeah. The amount of town guard who, it was not all of the town guard who were committed to this cause, and their numbers have been substantially thinned since then. So you get the impression that they're mostly either on defense or offense. There's no one just patrolling. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool.

So with no reason to be near Lady Watchers' house, you feel pretty confident that you're safe here. Cool. Alright, is Lady Watch's house surrounded by like a wall, or is there like a gate, or is it just like a front door we can walk up to? Great question. I've got to do something I don't do very often. I've got to bust out the base book. Yeah, that's crazy, dude. Wowie. Now, I forget, and this will be important, I forget who had the vicious dogs. Maybe you remember this. Oh, this is not something that has come up yet. Okay.

But, and you would be aware of this. I'm going to say, whatever, Pip, I think this is funny. Yeah. You, as you approach Lady Watcher's house, you know that Lady Watcher or the Bergermaster, one of them, had two huge, vicious hounds that they would sick on people. And no one has any reason to harm those dogs. Yeah. They know where their home is.

And as you approach Watcher House, you're wondering in the back of your mind, am I going to have to fight two big dogs? Do you spend much time in Velikai, Muriel, I say over the storm? Muriel looking back at you, calls out, no, I was far to the west. Fuck. My job was to monitor the druids, hence how they caught me. I see. Well, look, there's a chance we're going to be fighting two really big dogs.

So just, I keep that in my... They might be at the Burjumaster's house. I don't really remember. One of them had the big dogs. Let's just, hey, let's just... Over the noise, over the storm, you can hear her sigh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, I'm annoyed, too. I wish I could remember. But, you know, maybe we don't have to fight them. Let's put that in the center of our minds. Let's manifest, okay? You know she has sons, right? Yes, yeah, yeah. This is not going to be no opposition.

But if there's not the big dogs, that's good. I would rather fight the men than the dogs. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm thinking. I'm on your side, Muriel Yes, whatever she says Okay, so you have several entrances There is a back door to the cellar

There's the front door which would be the most obvious one And the one that you would approach towards It'd be like your first option There's a cellar door Then there's a back door And then you could try windows on the It's a two-floor building possibly, well, not possibly.

It's definitely got a cellar. Obviously, because of the fucking cellar door, Adam, you dumb, stupid. There's a bunch of windows as well. You can see that the windows on the front are actually all blasted out, and you can see into a, like, a dining room. Okay. The dining room appears to be clear. Just trying to think.

You remember this dining room, actually. I think you were brought before her. Yes, I was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I wonder if there's some value in trying to break in the same way an assassin might to try and get a sense of where she might have been... I guess that's not really going to help. Honestly, front door is probably...

We're going to have to search the place top to bottom anyway. Okay. So... You check the front door, it's locked. Okay. Can I smash it open with my crossbow? You start slamming into the door as Muriel's just kind of... There's a little, like, uh, uh, there's a...

covered entryway where the door is so you're a little bit out of the storm but it's still incredibly cold so cold and it takes you so long to break the door down that you and muriel both take a point of damage you have eight temporary hit points and one regular hit point left god damn it god fucking damn it to be well i don't i'm not going to know what hit me dude. Yeah, you better... I mean, dogs are a genuine threat to you right now. Yes, dude, I know.

Fuck. As you're doing that, maybe while you're slamming into the door, Muriel, you could see, just kind of to think about something other than the cold. She looks at you and she says, the golden dagger, we stab it into her heart as if it were a vampire? Yeah, pretty much.

Bang! Okay, cool. It's a pretty bang. Pretty simple. pretty simple. I mean, bang! Obviously, I know it would be better for you to have already taken care of it when we killed the banshees ghost. Bang! But this is far simpler in the long run. She looks at you, and when you look back at her, you realize now, you're not sure when this

happened. It must have been in the last, like, 10, 15 minutes. Her eyes look sunken and hollow. I mean, you look fine. Slam! You explosively... blast open the door. You are standing in a little entry atrium. There's two doors either side of you and then a door directly in front of you. They're all closed. Okay. Are they locked? Which door do you check first? Well, let's go to the left of me. To the left of you? It's locked. Okay. Let's try the right. It's also locked. And in front? Unlocked. Okay. It opens to a stairwell

going up and a door either side of you. So you can, go up to the next floor or you can go left or right. Do I have anything that lets me... You can see, from the right door, you can see there's light spilling out from underneath the door. Can I hear noise? No. The wind is... The howling wind is really bad, though. There could be someone on the other side. Actually, sorry, I forgot I got a roll for you. All you can hear is the howling wind. And there could be something else to hear,

definitely. Okay, but light Hmm I turn to Muriel You're no good at picking locks Are you might my shoulders just I'm slamming into these doors Muriel It's not

If you can just pick it Is what I'm thinking Uh If you are good at picking locks Why didn't you say anything She pushes past you What the hell Fills out a bobby pin

Okay I position myself next to us So that I'm ready to fire my crossbow If the door opens onto combatants She Is this the door with the flame underneath she starts picking that lock and then she looks around it you confusedly what it's not locked it was when i try okay let's go oh i see there's a confusion happening here this is a different

door oh i see okay sorry yeah as you stepped in there was a door left door right and then there was a door in front you've opened that door left door right right right my bad my my confusion okay never mind um all right let's open the door with the light under it all right let's do it you open that door it's a some sort of parlor there's a fireplace the fire is lit in the fireplace and you can see there's a body on the floor okay a quite clearly one of uh lady watcher's sons he's dressed in finery he is kind of curled up around the fire and you can see look he's lying on the floor like a dog mite and you can see there's a little pool of blood at like just underneath him i like flip him over to see how he died he you flip him over there's a dagger in his guts okay he's cold to the touch

well no the front part of him is warm from the fire can i pat him down for keys yeah you find a you find a key okay you find two keys on him actually okay well this is now guy let's keep looking there's you can go back the way you went or there's two doors in this room um one looks to be some sort of pantry, maybe, or storage room. We might as well check it. I'll be kicking myself if the body's in the pantry. Can I open the pantry door and have a look? Sure. You open that

door, and you could see, sure enough, it is just, yeah, oh, no, not a pantry, sorry, it's like a cupboard, there's linens and stuff in here. It's just linens, I'll try another door. As you move away, Muriel grabs a very heavy, very expensive-looking, like blanket and wraps it around her as well.

You can see she's shivering. You, because of the fire, this room is not that cold. She is shivering for other reasons. Okay, it's pretty, it's going to be fine, mural. Literally just a stab in the body and you're out of there. Shut up. Okay, let's keep going. Probably because it's just cold in here, I reckon.

That's what I think, yeah. All right. You search the bottom floor. You find a storage room. You find, like, a communal bunk room. That communal bunk room is, like, for servants. Okay. That room, you open the door.

door and you close it immediately it's a mess inside it looks like they must have attacked in the night the servants have they probably just assumed they were going to be hostile they were all killed in their sleep and it doesn't look pretty okay you can see a bunch of them their tongues were from a glance you can tell tongues were taken and they didn't care to kill them first my god okay the you check pretty much the entire first floor you find nothing else of interest there is either upstairs or downstairs let's go upstairs

you go upstairs as you head upstairs as you head upstairs you can tell just you see maybe just a little rustling of a cloak there's someone standing just out of the way at the top of the stairs reveal yourself spinning around

and lowering a crossbow at you you can see it must be Lady Watcher's other son he looks pretty messed up you can see

there is like burn marks across part of his face and his clothes look a little singed as well we're not with the cult

I say we're not with the cult we mean you no harm if you mean us no arm but if you fire on me

we'll have to kill you so I just okay he pulls the trigger fuck okay Hector

okay yes Cool You're going to go Have dinner with Strug? Yes We're walking in our

Absolute Finery I guess Having such a nice time I'm struggling Before you even reach The dining hall You can smell a delicious feast You smell potato Roast-jacketed potatoes

You smell pork Other meats Delectable things Woffed across you As well like this I mean Odd question, but was there any mirrors in the hallways and stuff like that as we were going there? On the way there?

Yeah. Because if you want a mirror, there's one in your room. Oh, I just feel I've ever caught a glimpse of myself. It would just be a bit of a lingering and then moving on. I'm also wondering, because again, he's a vampire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, true. Your room had mirrors. There are highs or lows.

Oh, highs. It's just, yeah, I don't think Hector's really had a chance to just kind of. drink himself in. Yeah. There's a full body mirror as decoration at one point. You can see it's like a gorgeous ornate piece of both on either side of the mirror, there's like a standing knight carved into it to give the appearance that they're holding the mirror up. Okay, okay.

And then standing in between those two nights, you catch yourself. Yeah, Gretchen might have to move me along, I feel, at one point. Gretchen stands behind you gently puts a hand on your shoulder I think you just got to sit and or I'll stand in that silence and just look at I guess slump shoulders that aren't quite mine a jaw that's not quite yours isn't quite mine an eye that isn't really matching does it what exactly am I looking at am I looking at a by and large

a human being that has just had, well, Lyca's had a few stitches here and there, or am I looking at, in a sense, a patchwork man of different colors, of different shapes, different sizes? I, to a initial glance, you look identical to the entity that the angel in Creswick created, to the, to human, to elf, to, a myriad of other entities that you have encountered here at a casual glance. After that, on a deeper inspection, if you do or do not look recognizably human, that is up to Hector. I guess he still is human shaped in a moment?

Yeah. Yeah, I do not. So, it's a dealing in this, we went to the Amber Temple and we dealt with, a monster hunter not that dragon bone hip I was a man by the name of Van Richton and he used my my blood to help a

young girl from from an affliction and I was peering into the mirror I wonder what blood is pumping through my veins now you are interrupted not by Gretchen but by

something else entirely. Happy voices. You hear two people having a conversation and they're, it's a conversation of two people who are quite clearly

deep friends talking and making jokes. And then you see two servants around the corner they spot you and in a moment, in an instant, they recognize

that you are having a very deep, a very personal moment. And when they recognize that they stop talking because quite, They quite clearly feel sorry for whatever's happening to you, and then both of them respectfully nod, say hello, and keep walking.

After they turn the next corner, you hear them resume their happy conversation. I know you have not really been in Berovia long, Gretchen, but this is not what I imagined, the lair of the first vampire to be like. We should eat Before you reach the dining hall You encounter a few more other people Just like servants walking about doing their jobs None of them seem

Too concerned by you If they if at any point You pass close enough They will respectfully nod And say hello to you And then they keep moving When you just before The Grand Feasting Hall

The place where you're going to eat Just before there You have to pass through the large atrium again. And in that atrium, you can see a bunch of guards in, like, some of them not wearing the full suits of armor. Quite clearly, some of them are, like, being rotated out. They're relaxing right now. And you can see there's a big table where people would be watching the comings and goings from the castle. And instead of watching the comings and goings, you can see that just a bunch of these guards are casually playing cards. There's some food near them, actually, as well.

You can tell it's probably the same food that you're going to be served. It looks delicious. That's crazy. Huh. Oh, do what, am I, what about, what's the e-sage like for me? My original ears or? One-elph, one human? Yeah, I'm just curious. Well, particularly if it's elder in any way, shape, or form.

Yeah. Would Kresik still let me in? Oh, yeah. Great question. Great question. I think it doesn't matter if you have elf parts or not. Yeah. You don't know if Kresik would let you in.

Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. You could be all human parts. I don't think, you don't know if. They'd care. Yep. I think that, yeah, that's another thought flashes through Hector's mind there. Or, you know, maybe one, maybe it is one, one, not.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe Kresik probably wouldn't let me in, but then realizing actually the elf, the year's got probably nothing to deal with it. Yeah, yeah. Damn. Those, those guards, you see that they wear tabards and on their shields, they have a, the symbol, presumably, of stride. Actually, this wouldn't be the first time.

you've seen it, but this is the first time you're seeing a guard wearing it. This symbol is quite clearly of Castle Ravenloft in silhouette. It's like an artistic representation of it. In this form, Castle Ravenloft still has that omniscient feeling, but it does not malevolent anymore. In this simplified form, it feels more neutral. And yeah, every guard we will walk by every, you know, I guess, servant or maid or they're not bulking no they're just going about their business yeah

hmm hmm um Gretchen when you first saw me again why did you not scream she seems confused for a moment what do you mean

like after after you'd been tortured in the in the prison cells look at like look towards her after all the experimenting I guess it's come just sort of realizing that a lot of places that I would consider safe or home probably wouldn't welcome me back

well because I saw your eyes she says through the great despite it all Hector she says it's still you yes I understand that but don't know if any you're right you're right system and I've seen

how some of these towns will judge you for what you are and not what you do would the church let him back looking like that it depends

the church is not a monolith in some places in polite society they might so it depends yeah it depends on the individual honestly some places might see you

yeah kind of as an abomination some might not not. It'll be a mixed bag. In Hydale, the capital, there might be some who look upon you like you poor thing and see, maybe like look down on you in the way that they think of you. Think of you

lesser in the way that like you are a poor, wretched thing in need of help. Okay. And like a, almost like what they might consider to be kindness. Right. But a lot of places would accept you still. Okay, okay. I guess in the hierarchy of like, you know, Aesmere to perhaps Tiefling. The, the, what would the small folk be doing?

Hector is used to when, you know, walking down a cobblestone town, like, oh, sorry, it's a cobblestone street in a town or a village, it's like, oh, who'd at? Oh, my God, an Aesmere. And like, visited by the gods. For a nice reason here. Now it's running in fear. Oh, no, a monster man. Aesmere are quite clearly angelic in origin.

So in small places, there would be. if anything, maybe more reverence as to be unkind for a moment. Yes. As those country hicks are unable to tell the difference between an Aismere and a full-blooded angel. But now

you would probably not expect that sort of treatment in such places, possibly the opposite. Yes. It's just going from town to town and doing the the Lord's work I would often

turn heads and now I feel I would perhaps do the same but a different outcome it's just I have not really had a time chance to

take this all in I would not describe myself Gretchen says as travelled as you but I feel I have travelled far enough to know that there is no place you can go to escape assholes.

Suppose you are right. Anyway, let's not dwell on the things that may or may not happen. Let's go eat. We're pretty famish, right? Hector, this will be the first time you notice, but no, you don't feel hungry or thirsty, or hot, or cold.

Hector, you don't feel much in the way of bodily desire. You don't feel hungry, but you don't feel satiated either. You just feel nothing. Okay. You've taken, you've taken horny away from you, son of it. You don't feel horny. You've got a new penis. You got a new penis, and you have

no desire to use it. Whoa. This sucks. Yeah, dude. Okay. Your life stinks now. To get an erection, you've got to inject adrenaline straight into that body. Whoa, awesome. It's okay. So, yeah, like as in all

You feel no bodily desire. Bodily desire. Intriguing. You are now just realizing that you... Do I feel sadness, right? Emotional, yeah. You could still have emotions, yeah. But I don't feel like hungry. I don't feel tired. I don't feel like, yeah, it's either...

Oh, it's hot or cold, I can... You might describe it as the same sensation as when a part of your body is anithetized. Okay, all right. Oh, weird. Okay. Is it sort of like, say, if you're a particular kind of person and maybe you're focusing it on a task

and you maybe forget to eat for 12 hours. Yeah, okay. And you're like, for that 12 hours, you just didn't need to eat because you weren't really paying attention or figuring anything out, nor did you actually have a drink of water like from a glass for about 11 days.

It's fine. You don't think about it. And, like, you don't really think about it. I mean, at that point of like 11 days or whatever, oh, my God, I'm about to die. you're like, oh, no, I probably should have a drink of water. Oh, no, I need to eat. But I guess I just don't get to that point.

You could describe it like that if you wanted to. Because that I can understand real well. If that's how you access this, then absolutely. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Right, because we must be hungry. Not that hungry, actually. You are smelling some of the best smelling food, not just since you arrived to Borovia,

Even outside of Borovia, the scents wafting past you would be considered quite sought after. But you feel no desire to eat or drink. You can see that Gretchen's mouth is nearly watering. Like I know that that is going to taste delicious, and I understand that, and I want to do that, but I'm not for the need of hunger. one of the guards as you're standing there having this conversation with Gretchen one of the guards you could see they've been like

politely ignoring you but then one of the guards turns around and says are you lost the whole is just over the way the whole thank you very much you can see he's not trying to be you know he's not trying to be snippety or anything like that he's just genuinely

wondering why your daughter yes yes he's the whole And I just gestured. Then, of course, let's us go to the hall. Sorry. Yes, let's go. Sorry. The guard politely nods and then resumes his card game.

Okay. You... Oh, there's so much right now just me wanting to join in. Yes. But I best not. Play some cards with some guards, dude. As you approach those double doors, you can hear on the other side mirth and laughter and song and even dance.

As you approach, two attendants standing either side, bow deeply to you and then open the doors for you, and as soon as the doors open, you feel the light and warmth spilling out over you. There's a party happening. The great feasting table has laden heavy with food. You can see it's close to buckling under the weight of how much food and drink is being placed upon it.

There are people all up and down, and they're, you know, they're eating, they're drinking, they're singing, some people are dancing. You can see over in one corner there's a band playing music and people are dancing to that. It's a very cacophonous sort of thing. You are very unused to this in polite society. Normally, this would be the sort of place, this would be the sort of thing where you might have like a very regimented dinner. People eat now, like if you've ever been to like a function sort of thing for like a private event or something like that where, you know, they'll be like, oh, entrees are served. Everyone is seated. Entres. There's maybe a little speech. Mains. Everyone gets up and you dance. Dessert. And it's all segmented like that. You can see there is no such thing going on right now. Desserts, mains and entrees are all on the table right now. And some people are eating and some people are dancing. I can imagine like, you know, I guess we're, we're, we're. back in Hydale. A dance is a very...

There's a very regimented way of dancing. Yeah. Like, it's that kind of, that medieval thing of like, this is the dance that we all know and do. We have about six of them. Exactly. And we go through the roster

and the barbs are playing. Yeah, yeah. But now we do this particular thing. You do this dance if you're trying to get a wife. This dance if you just... Yeah. People are just dancing. They're dancing to whatever dance

they feel like dancing. You can see some people are doing kind of like a formation sort of dance, but not everyone is. There's children running about playing as well. Children. You only just now spot in the band, near the back,

Straud himself, playing a violin as part of the band. Huh. Whoa. Wow. Well, I would have, yeah, bowed to the guards and then looked up and just sort of taken it all in. I also like that, you know, in a similar way with all the fashion discussion about like, you know, what era where we're from. I'm assuming that they're the same thing would be with the dance.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the different areas of like, what are they doing? They're doing the road boy. I don't even know what that is. Anyway. Someone doing the Charleston. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shall we adjust it to the table for Gretchen as well?

Mm-hmm. She drifts past you. She's not actually waiting for you to say so. You see she sits down at the table and she starts shoveling. I sit down, I guess, next to her. What's the spread like? Yeah, what are we looking at? Directly in front of you.

I'll say that you've sat down near, the closest thing to you is a dessert. You see a huge Sunday, like a platter that you would put an entire pig on. but it is Sunday instead with a chocolate topping and then strawberries and sprinkles scattered pell-mell all over that. On your other side, you see there is like a pork chop dish with little ringlets of some sort of green vegetables scattered around it. On your other side, you can see that there is a huge garden salad with a cheese that you don't know where, you don't, like a crumbly cheese you don't know.

I'll, um, I guess, yeah, grab a strawberry from the top of the Sunday and just, and take a bite. That's a delicious, ripe strawberry, right? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Fruit's ripe. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Fruit can be right.

Yeah. Surely? They can ripe. Pork chops. Pork chops are ripe. Yeah. Oh, you don't want to ripe. You don't want a ripe pork chops.

You want a ripe strawberry. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's ripe. It's delicious. It explodes. flavor. In the same way that PIP explodes into a room, it

explodes with flavor. That is... Okay, no, it is delicious. It is... I don't feel anything. You feel no different after eating it, though. But I do. I can tell.

Yeah, you can... Can you appreciate... He can appreciate flavor. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You could taste. Yeah, yeah. But it doesn't make you feel any more or less saciated. Saciated? Satiated?

I don't, I actually, I'm not hungry or I'm not, like, you're not hungry, you're not full, you're nothing. And, yeah, and eating something didn't like, you know, cause a levy to break, no. Okay. Yeah, I, uh, you start eating? I, I, I just, maybe just pick up the second strawberry and then just, just looking at it. Mm-hmm. Just put it back.

Okay. And then I want to look around at that, at, at, uh, at, uh, this of, event. Who's around? Who are these kids? Who are these people? Who are these people? Yeah. What is this? You see a smattering of different types of folks. Some of the faces you can tell they're quite clearly Barovians, locals. You can see some people are from faraway lands. Most of them you would say, oh, you see some adventurers as well. Like people, like a dragon born, and someone who quite clearly came here from Candor, someone who quite clearly came here from God only knows

where, far travelers as well, you spot some people who are familiar to these shadowy places, to these dark lands, but are just not from Borovia specifically. You maybe even see, there'd be like one of the people dancing, they wouldn't be eating, but someone like yourself,

like a fellow patchwork person, they look a little bit, They look similar, but different. Okay. Okay. Any mummies? Yeah, there's a mummy. Yes.

I know one of the Darklands is Egyptian things. Yeah. It's going to be a mummy or two. There's a mummy, yeah. I guess I'm... You see someone dressed almost identically to Cavendish. Huh. He, not just almost identically.

Like, you recognize Kandini's symbology in his uniform. Okay. I guess, uh... Actually, you don't. Actually, there's a cadre of them, actually, I would say. They're sitting up one end at the table. Yeah, like, are they Royconch guard? No, they're not Royconj guard, but you can quite clearly tell in the same way that the

Royconge guard eventually, the uniform you know, eventually evolved into Cavendish. You could tell that Cantonese diplomats and generals eventually evolved into this. Oh, interesting. Okay. Is there, I'm looking, okay, I want to look around. Okay, I've clocked the person, kind of like, you know, another sort of, patchwork individual that I will talk to eventually. But I want to interrupt their booging. Yeah, you're fair it off.

Is there anyone around that sort of is like either myself where they're just a little bit bewildered or they don't think that they belong here or they just this is a strange appearance. Looking around, you spot no one like that. Interesting.

Okay. Everyone else who is here seems comfortable to be here. I guess I kind of relax a little bit. In doing so, I look around, though, they're all human. Like, they're all, they're all, they're not vampires. No, they're not all, they're not everyone hears of. You don't see any other vampires.

You see a scattering of different types of peoples, though. There's like, you know, not just, beyond just like humans, elves, gnomes, tabaxy, that sort of stuff. You see, like, a troll doing the macarina. That's awesome. They're all doing something confusing, but alluring with his hips. Yeah, I'm so intrigued. I can't stop picturing a sort of monster match. Yeah, yeah.

He's Dracula and his son. He's doing, yeah, straddle of the violet, but it's like, they do the mesh. They do the monster mesh. You see, like, species or types of peoples who you've never encountered before. You see some sort of, like, deer person or something like that. You see a, it looks like. it looks like the mech thing that the engineer pilots but it's quite clearly sentient and sapient

sentient and sapient yeah yeah one's one kind of implies the other though but I forget which one's sapient sapient applies sentient yeah a man is sapient a dog is sentient yeah and the man is sentient yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah anyway yeah you see some sort of like mechanoid or machine or something like that that's also clearly intelligent.

Okay. Like, oh, weird. I guess the starting point would be to go to the I guess the Cantonese people that I would recognize. Sure. Try to see what they're first off talking

about and then see if I will join their conversation. If it leaves applicable. Thank you.