D&D is For Nerds - Barovia IV #26 Catching Up with an Old Friend

Episode Date: January 31, 2026

Grugrog's Famous Cure. After slaying a rather large beastie that's been terrorising the town, the discerning adventurer would be remiss to not partake in a night of debaucherous revelry! This, in turn, can bring on a head-shattering hangover to slay even the great Tiamat. To get that hangover under control, we recommend a hearty breakfast, and the best hearty breakfast comes from the all-in-one adventure's favourite: The Owl-Bear. Eggs, meat and (if you're up for it) milk can all be collected and/or harvested from one or two owl-bear caves. We highly recommend enriching an owl-bear egg scramble with owl-bear milk and served with owl-bear sausages. However, if owl-bear milk is too much trouble to acquire (if the owl-bear is not lactating or is a male of the species (WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MILK A MALE OWL-BEAR THIS WILL JUST MAKE THEM ANGRY AND THE RESULT IS NOT WORTH IT)) a simple breakfast of a single owl-bear egg (raw) and owl-bear steak (medium to medium-rare) has more than enough nutrients and vitamins to fight off any emerging hangover. Of course you could always chug a health potion. If you're a coward.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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A wizard supreme has many things to tell about this nightman. Barovia. Ha ha ha ha ha. Wizard supreme. In this place, your pointless titles mean nothing. For the only way to escape is to slay Strad in the manner of a true warrior or die in the attempt. Strad grabs at his chest as if he is having a heart attack and doubles over. I...

Rush over in hell. Rahadin looks at you It would be best if you left now Yes, I'll see myself out Pip, you've stepped through the portal The spectral versions of Keening, Marquillot, and Elaniel stand next to you Tiny stands behind you

And you don't know where a Gagash is No, no, no, no Well, I'm walking, because everybody's been very concerned about it. So is tiny ethereal or is he also physical? No, Tiny's physical. Yeah. He doesn't have a thing though. Yeah, interesting.

He doesn't have a, when he steps into the, maybe at first you're like, oh, it's because we're not in the ethereal. Yeah. But he steps with you into the ethereal and you see he does not gain. Actually, you, oh, you wouldn't have noticed because you don't want to look behind you. Yeah. But you maybe could sense that you don't have the ethereal version of you behind you. When you're in the prison.

Yeah, okay. When you return to the ethereal, though, you are sure that it is returned. Yeah. But Tiny does not seem to have one. Interesting. Can I get, because I'm concerned about the, whatever the Fingerman is, can I get Tiny to be, basically, because I want the ghosts behind me so that I can protect them. And Tiny seems, does Tiny look like they are, not a fight of the class, but like, as in, they look combat ready? Are they a combatant?

I also quite like the Pips not really clear why we're getting Tiny out of the cage. But he just knows we had to do it. And like, is that the thing that stopped the... I don't know, what's going on, to be honest? Pip doesn't really know how far the Lomac connects to Tiny, but Piff's like, whatever. In this situation, I'm a cog in a machine. So it's of no...

That's for the canings of the world to figure out. Tiny, as you step through, Tiny is unaware that there is... Or what necessarily... What danger you might... What you assume he doesn't know. But he... you see kind of like tightens and bristles,

and it's like you can hear a corded muscle tightening underneath his shell. Yeah, Tiny seems quite strong. Cool. Great. Okay. Okay. As I like to get Tiny, I guess actually it's probably good to have somebody on either end of this party they can fight. So I say to Tiny over my shoulder, I go, look, I don't know.

I mean, maybe, I don't know what you know, but do you have like a magical weapon? of any kind, Tiny? Tiny looks at you and says and does nothing for a moment. And then you hear that like buzzing noise. And inside your head like a thousand ants talking, you hear yes. Okay, great. All right. Now, stay behind me.

And we're going to try and make, I don't know where a go gash is gone, but let's just keep walking. All right. You make your way downstairs and you take a point of cold. damage. That's right. It's freezing. Fuck. She's such a bitch. She's such a bitch, dude. Didn't give me his coat? No, what the hay? He doesn't need it.

Keening from behind you says, I don't know where it's gonna be, but if it strikes us, it'll battle us around. It didn't seem to do any

damage to us in spectral. form. Yeah. But it can stop us from moving around. Okay. You, I imagine, will take quite a bit of damage, though, Pippi. Yeah, I know, hon. I know. I will. I will. That's fine.

I'll turn around to him. And like, I've died, nearly died so many times. All of the bruises on my face, every cut, every cracked tooth in my mouth, I've been taking quite a lot of damage recently. It's

just, you know, more for the pile. Then I'll turn back around and keep stalking. All right. You... Oh, get a good boy card. Yes. Oh, nice. What you got?

I regain hit points equal to 1D10 plus my level. Might as well use that now. Yeah. Uh-huh. I would love... Yeah, I reckon. Three plus your level, you regain 13 hit points. God damn, that's like fucking nothing.

Whatever, that's one hit. It's so much. regain the hit. I'll take it, dude. All right, you're on 29 hit points. Yes. Also, Mm-hmm. Nice. Yeah, it's good. Also, you catch sight of a go-gash as he slips from room to room, making your way through the place.

You could tell that he's shadowing you, but he seems to be keeping stealthed for some reason. You don't know what. Although, presumably he's keeping... Presumably, actually, yeah, no, whatever. You could tell he's keeping stealth not just from you, but from something else. He appears to be hiding as well That's concerning Do you have any idea

I say What the fuck it is Keening Looking at you says Some I think it might be I think it might be Something from the cooled festening

He says You know what the cool festening is Yeah It is within the Hoss Pantheon Hasfema Haskra Yeah The cooled festening is the domain of Lemon Canaan, the god of winter.

Cude Fesning is a very harsh and awful place that exists kind of on the North Pole, but not of the North Pole. So the material realm has a North Pole. And the Cool Fessening is in some ways, it depends how you look at the cosmology. Right, yeah, I get it. It's like how you got the moon and the moon. You know, you got the moon you can go to with NASA, and then you've got the moon that makes a werewolf become a, you know, a man become a wolf. Something like that, yeah. I'm across it.

To some people, the cooled festing is like the idea of the North Pole and not a physical place. To some people, if you go north and you get to the North Pole, but you don't meet Lemon Canaan, people will be like, you didn't go to the North Pole. You went to a place called the North Pole, but you didn't go to the North Pole. The Kooled Festinging is a very... Clement Canaan is an evil god. He is a very harsh, as winter is often seen. He's a very harsh person, a harsh god, and the cold festening is very like survival of the fittest.

Sure, okay. So anything that is quote-unquote of the cooled festening is not just a terrible monster, but it is a powerful, terrible monster. You get the impression. There is one of two ways that this entity, could be here. Either this place is so cold that in the

ethereal it is torn open a hole to the cooled festening, or just when a place gets cold enough, maybe these things show up. Yeah, okay. I was going to ask how peculiar it is that it's out here. But it... But there's a couple of explanations, clearly.

Yeah, it's not unusual. It's just how did it get here, I guess. Okay, cool. It is entirely most things from the cold festening are also intelligent. You're aware of that. You're all pretty high. You think, there is a chance that you could reason with this entity. Okay, that's interesting. Well, hopefully we can just ignore it, but somehow I doubt that.

Well, as we're like stalking through the house, do you have any advice keening for like what to do if we come across it? You know, this feels like a paltry thing to ask, but should I change my crossboat to firing fire bolts? In my experience, I would recommend neither cold nor fire. It's likely to be immune to cold, but with fire, it'll either be immune or just resistant. Yeah, okay, right now. Fair enough.

The cooled festening resists flames. Yeah, hard to light a fire in sub-50 degrees. sure. Okay. Why didn't it attack me though? That's interesting. Do I think that's abnormal now that I have some idea of what it might be? That it just watched me? Well, it probably, well, you imagine, yeah, it would, you imagine, actually, if it didn't attack you, you're very confident it's intelligent. It quite clearly wanted you to come through, but you're not sure why. It's very weird. Okay. Okay. I'd like to, just for safety, I'm going to load the last two men.

Oh shit, wait. I'm so sorry, you rolled really high. Did you get a description of it as well? Yes. Yeah, I think so. Old man with like a wood and long fingers. Look, hey, that is how they describe Lemon Canaan. Oh.

Okay. It might be the big man himself. Hey, Vax, you're... You've been to the North Pole, you could say. That's true. I could say I could tell if I'd mean anyone from Huss. I could, uh, let them know. Okay

Okay We'll just keep moving Okay And he avoided me once before You know Maybe there's some reason for that You get to It is a doorway

To a long hallway Which ends at the front door Okay Well where the front door was Yeah That doorway One spidery long hand Another spidery long hand

And then the face, torso, body, hooded robes of you think maybe Lemon Canaan himself, the god of winter. Okay. Is he just still at the end of the hallway? Yeah, he stands in the doorway

before that corridor. We're just passing through, I say. You know, we've got no business with you, you've got no business with us. But Lemon Canaan speaks. We do have business. I don't think that's true. You took something out of the cage.

Oh, okay, right? I want you to put something back in. We need tiny for some reason, so we can't put him back. Something must exist in the cage. Someone must exist in the cage. I want you to put Father Limick back in its cage. Well, I mean, in that, our goals are aligned. So that's actually, I like to turn back to the ghosts.

Good. Keening like nods. Huh? Right? So, yeah, I turn back to, what's his name? Lemon Cayman. Lemon Canaan. I turn back to Lemon Cayman.

Yeah, so. Lemon Canaan. Lemon canin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Lemon Canaan. Yeah. Don't insult the guard, Jack. I think that's something we can do.

I mean, I think we're going to do that anyway. And because of that, I say, taking you another step forward, perhaps we don't make this some kind of official deal because that's the kind of thing that could backfire on both of us. We make it a gentleman's agreement. Lemmon Canaan smiles. A gentleman's agreement it is. Exactly.

We're just a couple of gentlemen in the ethereal realm. Agreement made. Father Lemmick thinks he could. controls the snow. Right. I control the snow. Absolutely big guy. I'm not looking for input.

Just give my thumbs up. Father Lemick is fighting your friends as we speak. Oh, right. If you can trick him back here, I can put him back in his cage. We both want this. Yeah. I'm going to tell you how to do this.

So he's not going to willingly come into the ethereal. Of course. But you can, there is a spell to bring him to my domain. This spell will take you out of the shadow fell. This puts me at odds with many of the entities you encountered in the Amber Temple. I don't want to fight the entities in the Amber Temple. So in exchange for helping you put Father Lemmock back in his place, you are going to willingly walk back into Borovia. Right.

And just so we're clear, you know, the first one's added like a gentleman's agreement. This one doesn't sound so much. No, this is a gentleman's agreement that you're making with a God. Don't forget that How could I Pip, I think I pause A little too long Then immediately feeling guilty

I glance back at the ghosts I'm not gonna, of course I'll come back And then I'll turn back to love and came in You've got yourself a deal All right Don't be surprised when this happens I am going to imbue you With the power of a spell

This spell will take you and one creature you are grappling into the material. Where I put you in the material will be right next to my domain. You will need to grapple, Father Lemmick, and then shove him into the portal.

And then, from the material, you will walk. Trot on back into Borovia. It's a deal. A gentleman's agreement. A gentleman's agreement. I turn back to the ghosts. A gentleman's agreement.

They're giving you some serious fucking looks, Pip. It's a gentleman's agreement. It's a gentleman's agreement. With a god, I turn back to Lemon Canaan. All right. Fantastic. Yeah, it really is. You have to shake hands in a gentleman's agreement?

I don't know. Or is a curt, nod. A curt nod. It's an understanding. An understanding, I think. Yeah. The gentleman's agreement is just a nod. Mm.

Mm. Okay. Okay, Pip, man. Okay, Pip Mandarin. Gentleman Monster Hunter. A gentleman's agreement. Would you like to return to Borovia? Yeah.

Where would you like to be placed in Borovia? I turn back to everybody else in the party. Dealer's choice. They look at each other and Keening says, maybe outside the Berger Masters. Well, you heard the man. Outside the Burgomasters. Okay.

With your friends who are still in the material as well, I take it. Everyone nods, I see you. Yeah, yeah. Lemon Canaan sticks out his hand. A gentleman's agreement. Is this going to freeze my hand off? No. Okay, just checking.

A gentleman's agreement. His long spidery fingers wrap around yours, Pip. And then you, Keening, Elaniel, Marquillot, Tiny, Danica, Irwin, who else are my Iona? I don't know. Cribbit. Yeah, cribbit. No, not Cribut. I go gash.

All of you are, you don't feel the transition between realities. You are just standing outside the Berger Masters as if you had always been standing there. Imagine my hands out like shaking nothing. Pip, you don't know how you know, but you, well, you just feel inside you. You feel this charge.

Lemon Canaan's spell to take you to the material. Was that stupid? I said to Keening. Keening. All right. Describe this gesture. Oh, a pained expression. A pained look like, buddy.

What you would call a pained expression. Although, look, hey, I know Hector's not there, but he'd be like, hey. I'm sure he'd be pleased. Hey, well, yeah. You had to do what you had to do. You had to do what you had to. It's a god. Yeah, what I'm going to kill it.

Kinning gives you that expression. Yeah. Pip, and then he turns and says, Pippie, uh, look, I wouldn't have made that deal, but I understand the logic behind it. That is. Gentlemen's agreement. Let's not use the term deal. Father, what's his face?

Yeah. He's, he's something to be reckoned with. So I guess I wouldn't have made that deal, I guess I can't blame you for it either. I just, I gotta hope that's my last one, you know? I'm not the deal-making type normally.

You know that. It was a gentleman's agreement. That's what I'm thinking. Really rubbed off on you, man. Yeah, it's nice to see that. All right. You take a moment to explain to everyone who's just suddenly here.

You can see, Danica, Irwin, Iona and Kribbutt, you can see they bear the marks of some combat. It looks like they just kind of, maybe just barely were holding on before. You get the impression that the deal that you just made might have saved a life. Okay, well, hey, that's good. I'll take it, dude.

See? Pretty good, isn't it? Yeah. Feels nice. Once you've explained to the situation, Owen is the first to say, how do we get the entity to come meet us here? Everyone's silent for a moment. And then Keening says, Father Lemick, Father Lemmock, father lemmock.

You hear a screaming noise from deeper in Balakai. Hector, when you are sent out of Strads' chambers, what is your first move? Where do you go? What do you do? So, I guess I should probably check in on Gretchen. Good idea.

I understand there's a lot of things happening at the moment. Like, I kind of... Yeah, look, to be honest, first protocol, I want to check in on Gretchen. Haisalers? Let's go with highs. Hyes? Okay. You haven't even rolled yet.

You didn't even roll. Wait, you can see the future? Motherfucking Nostradamus over here? God damn it. Nostradamus. Okay. We're getting rude, are we? I decided to get hostile.

Why, when it's my turn. He's rolling for me. I saw Nostra Dumbass lying there on the table. Yeah, no, it's good. I feel like I've heard Nostrad Dumbass before. Well, it wasn't even worth it. I'm copying. And I never want to be accused of copying it in my life.

Okay. I'm not a hack. I'm not a hack. I'm not a copier. Sure. Everything I say is original and new. As you're making your way back down to, I assume the party? That's the last time you saw it.

That's last for myself, Gretchen. So I'll head down. As you make your way back down to the party, you have a random encounter. Whoa, in Strad's Castle. Yeah, I have a random encounter table for Strad's Castle. You turn a corner and you find a maid and a butler hidden in one of the alcoves. As soon as you step through, Hector, it takes you too long to notice. By the time you realize, by the time you clock what's happening,

they've already separated. You don't get a good look at either one of them, and they walk purposely in different directions. As this happens, you hear both of them kind of like a giggling to themselves. This does not concern me at all. But also at the same time, there's like these weird little lovers' trips that are happening in the monster's castle. So initially like, it does not concern me.

that is so strange everything that's like Okay, yep that doesn't concern me at all I just keep A moment later You're walking down the same corridor And a moment later

Another maid turns a corner And you can see All right This time you notice something You notice it This time A maid turns a corner It's an entirely different person

From the other two That you just noticed But you can see That there's a bit of concern And When I say a searching expression. I mean, she is like literally looking around. She walks past you as if you're not there.

Okay. She doesn't engage with me. She doesn't engage with you, no. You get the impression. Are you looking for somebody? She turns, she stops, turns, and as if she's just seen you. Did you spot a man and the woman? Descript him?

I mean, you didn't get a good look at either of the people, but who she describes, She describes a woman with mousy hairs and an, quote-unquote, an expression to match. She seems, when she describes the woman, she seems a bit like... Disparaging? Yeah, disparaging would be the correct term. And then she describes a man, maybe slightly balding, a mustache. And when she describes him, she says, and that... She says something like, and a damn mustache.

She seems mad when she describes the man. Okay. God. Now... You don't know for sure. But that could have been both of them. Yeah. This is very, does not concern me.

But, oh, it's plagued Hector's interest a little bit too much. But he knows, there's more important things right now. There's so much more important things like that for him. You don't need to worry about port trist. I say, I believe I saw, I just say, I believe I saw the man. I walk past, I don't describe the trist. I don't want to, I don't want, I want, I want, I, It's going to be a bit of a, I want to gloss over anything to be like,

she went that way, he went, like, I saw her going this way, and I think I passed the man and he was going this way. That's the thing that I want to try and say to be like, I don't want to be involved in this. However, I'm going to let her know where they may be heading towards. And you don't want to get involved in the drama, but by absolute definition you are now. But I want to be a loom.

Are you hiding the fact that they started both of their trajectories in the same location? That's tricky to do. Am I hiding that? She seems mad. She seems furious. Well, if it means nothing to me, no, I don't try and hide that. All right.

She meant, you watch very quickly as she mentally does the calculation of the direction you said both of them are moving in, and you watch mentally as she draws the line backwards to the same location. And then she swears very loudly, has a moment of hesitation, and then runs after the man. Is that, who are they two? You have, good luck. Hope to hear about that later. Keep walking. Towards the party. Yeah, I mean, wait.

It's just some stuff going on in the past. It's just like more of the lives of strards servants. Oh, he's curious. Yeah, well, that's fair. Both is damaged and. You get to the grand entrance hall where you saw those guards drinking earlier. You can see they're still the same guards from before are still sitting there. Their tankards are a little bit lighter now.

but not empty. And then you see and also here the doors to the great hall where the party is happening are open and light and laughter are spilling out. I guess I just like nod my head to the guy. Are they there just like stopping anyone from entering or are they just kind of there for show? They're just there. Well, they're not there for show, but you're allowed in the party. You know what I mean? Are they standing to attention or are they just like, hey, what's going on?

They're pretty relaxed. Yeah, they're not standing to attention. So I go okay. I just nod, wave, and... One of them gives you like a little cheers with their cup as you walk past. Yeah, yes, cheers. Is the door open or is that? Yeah, they're open, yeah.

Okay. I just head on in and start scanning for Gretchen. Stepping in. You see Gretchen is dancing with some of the ambassadors, the Kandanese ambassadors that you saw before. Gretchen's dancing with some of them. You can see there are... It's not identical, but she seems to, of all the people dancing here, she seems to understand the dance that they are doing the most.

Huh, that's kind of cool. Okay. Oh, I guess I wait on the sideline, as it were, to see if I can get it. One, catch your eye or, yeah, it's basically catch your eye to be like a very, very quick conversation just to kind of just see how she's going. She, wait. After a little bit, she catches your eye as well. and then very sweaty she sits down next to you. I just wanted you check in to see how you're going.

When she speaks, she's slurring her words. Doing well. Right now, I'm doing well. I'm doing well. You know what? Yes. This, if Barovia was only this, I'd be pretty happy, you know? I think a lot of people would be very happy if this and only this was Barovia.

You have a nice chat? In a way, we had a conversation. We can talk about it later. You had the conversation? I didn't realize he didn't know. Sorry, what? Would a mommy and a daddy love each other very much. Right, right, not...

Gresh is tanked. Right. A member of the serving staff comes by, and Gretchen swings around and grabs... It's, imagine a platter with a bunch of wine glasses and a big bottle of wine to serve. She grabs not a glass, but the bottle. I was like, I assume it has been a long time since you've been able to let your hair down, as it were. Not since, ever, actually.

I was pretty young, she says. And as she says that, she gestures a little bit and knocks the bottle that she just grabbed over. It spills out onto the table. Try and grab it as quick as I could. Just reflexes. I guess I'll make that a deck saving throw. Yeah, I mean, yeah. You, I'll say you successfully grab the bottle before too much spills.

I was pretty young when I started my training with Gulliver. I, after that, I, you know, well, I flag down a waiter or like a staff member while this is all happening. and the staff member immediately looks at the two of you and as again not so she can hear this is like can you bring me a bottle of three quarters water a quarter just a three just like any in any time yeah just like it's just that and basically like any time

that Gretchen is wanting some wine just make sure she's having a diluted sure the person looks between the two of you and nods in understanding thank you so yes so you so you Gulliver, yeah. Yeah, I, he, yeah, then after that, you know, training was pretty intense. I didn't get out much.

The place where we, you know, the place where we trained was remote, not any towns nearby. And then after that. Yes, of course. I want to be like maybe piling up a plate, getting some bread. Like, just basically like, you know, hey, have some food. Have us hand. The night I squired for. Or she starts, you know, she starts eating some bread as well, completely oblivious to what you're doing.

She explains, like, point after point, her entire life, pretty much. And how she hasn't, she, she started her training so young that she wouldn't have really had a chance to drink. Of course. And then during training, she didn't get any chance to drink. And then after training, as she was squiring, she's the nights that she would squire for, very typical. typically were teetotolers. Yeah, who wouldn't drink and wouldn't let her drink. And then she gets to about the point where she starts talking about how much she loves the Kings.

Sorry, not the Kings Trail, that's before her time. How much she loves coastal trails. And when she gets that, she stops for a brief moment and you know what's about to happen. I quickly grab some sort of buck. Like a bowl, like a fruit bowl that I quickly is like grab upturn. Paring on the back. Okay, yeah, this will happen. This will happen, unfortunately.

Yep, it happened a bit more quicker than I assumed it was going to happen. I was going to say, just enjoy your night. And tomorrow, you will understand a new aspect of life. That is okay. That is okay. It's okay. All right. Pyrin sits down at the table opposite you.

Oh. Oh, okay. I like, I'm like, Piron? He would probably be wearing makeup to make himself look. Sorry, the stop there was not me questioning it was period. It was to be like, am I calling him period? Or am I calling him something?

Per, Mr. Spy. No, to be like, yeah, be like, you don't actually know my name. You can see he's wearing makeup. It's a bit shot, possibly, very plausibly, part of your surprise. is that he doesn't look like a teafling, he looks like an elf. What did he do with his horns? Are they under hair? He's probably wearing a hat.

Ah, smart. Big hat. Big hat. He didn't have that big horns. Okay. I was imagining like gazelle's horns. And then I was imagining, he says down in a ten gallon hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pyrans' horns are only about, oh, well, the listener can't see that. But his, uh, Piran's horns are, sorry? A couple inches? Uh, I don't know what, I don't know how long an inch is, but like 20, No, 15 centimeters at most. Do they curl? Yeah, slightly. They curl backwards.

So kind of like close to his head. Yeah. So you could easily cover with a hat. Or a nice and interesting toupee. Yes. A bouffal. Maybe slightly too big for a toupee, but definitely a hat covers them. You actually don't know me, yes.

I'm... I'm Hector, yes. You can call me Mr. Notter Spy if you'd like, though. I don't think anyone's really listening. No, they are. So long as our conversation looks... Happy and light, he says. He reaches across the table.

Just like the back. He patted on the back, yes. Leaning across the table. She has long hair? Sorry? Sorry. Is this great you have long hair? No, she is very short.

Okay. So you're holding it back. Yeah, that's like buzz cut short. It's like just padding it. It's okay. Excuse me, yes. Can you get a, like, a towelette and just like of ice water? Thank you very much.

I appreciate it. And some ice? Do I have ice? Do I have ice? Do I know what ice is? I would know what ice is? Ice can be fetched for you, yeah. Right, right, right.

Thank you very much. While you're talking to the server, Pyrrion, there's a big, loud, fake laugh. An excellent point. Very good at this, aren't you? I guess this? It works in a big party. Here's the trick.

It doesn't fucking matter. No one's really listening. This is very, I get, this is not what I expect. Yeah, it's kind of fucked up. It's pouring both of your drink. Yeah, thank you very much. Cheers. Do you think there's ghosts?

Do you think that ghosts are scared of parties, maybe? I believe, yes, ghosts would be very scared of parties. If they were ghosts, I think they would have been exercised a long time ago. Oh, God, I hope so. Anyway, I heard you had a little chat with Strad. Also, where did you go for three fucking months? I kind of gesture to my appearance. Oh, I'll ask about that in a minute.

dial into a little bit of a spot of bother. Yes. Yes. So, did you know that there are other dark places? I'm vaguely aware. Yes. Oh, right. Well, let, again, fill you in a little bit here.

Oh, thank you very much here. Gretchen, you just want to just, I'm just going to put this on the back of your neck. It's going to be very cold. It's okay. So there is, there is, I don't know exactly the number that is surrounding. Barovia, but one. I know of one to the west. a lot of traders would come through to putreate.

There's a few different ones. There's one which I happen to enjoy a little bit of the time there. The place called Boccia is where all the Franken guys are from. He laughs at Franken guys. That one sounds genuine. So the stride equivalent, Ivana Borizzi. Strade equivalent, he says. Perrin looks like he's about to kill over and die.

I guess the person who is in charge of that, realm from what I can gather? Cool. Yeah. So she's in charge of that realm and they are from what I can gather potentially land skirmishes or skirmishes to get land or to increase their influence. And I believe Moravia is a wanted entity from a few of the others.

And I do not think the others really kind of care what Ivana is doing. but she is even invading soon she has an army I'm getting maybe a head Pyrin downs his wine glass sets it down and sets it down

So she experimented on me Hence all of this I believe I point to an eye And my jaw And like a little bit of the Like that kind of like the trace From like where the head is

Around an eye to like the middle of the jaw And then I kind of like gesture maybe to like a little bit of the spike, you know, I guess the chest area or spine, wherever it was remaining, I'm like, maybe one of the arms, I forget exactly, this is Hector. Everything else, I shrug. Pyrrhan downs his wine, sets the glass down. It really is a case of the more things change, the more they stay the same, I suppose.

I mean, not with you. That sounds fucking horrific. Oh, it was very, very horrific. Also, I ran into Pips' sister. His what? His sister, she's a cobald, tiny little things. She's a cobald. I didn't know lizard folk did that shit.

Yeah. Dragon, one. First of all, very, how little attention are you paying? I can know how he was raised in an orphanage. Oh, like a spiritual sister. I guess, well, they're both raised the Gregory, anyway. I get that, yes. She's trapped in

in torture. So the way she does it, that's Pip's sister. Yes, so the way there's a device that is a touch to the heart, she ripped mine out. But that is how it is, Pip's

sister ripped mine out. It has been a long three months. I could imagine. So Pip's sister is there under the control of under the control of Ivana. Ivana seems to be ruling her realm a little bit more iron-fifty

than Stradis. More iron-fifty than this shit. Yes, I don't think they have a dinner party. I've seen wealth extraction before in my life, but this is insane. So Ivana, she takes everyone apart and puts them back together and then she installs some sort of device

I believe that the engineer, I knew his name, it's gone. The engineer, he's from there. I think he escaped there to come here. He might actually know more about it than we do. Yes, but unfortunately you'd need to talk to him to find out about it. Yes. It might be a very actually an easy conversation. We have to know the right questions.

There's devices that she has. Everyone seems to have them. I don't know how to get rid of them. I was, mine was torn from me. A God intervened, I think. Something intervened. I forget who said it first, Hector, but you really are dripping with destiny, aren't you?

Apparently so. So, she is invading soon. I don't know when she has amassed an army. She also has sort of like an invisible wind servant. That if we know how to free him, I think he might be a useful ally. Oh, it's like sentient? Invisible, an invisible stalker.

I know about them. Yes. So he doesn't seem to be happy about being in service. No, they hate it when you do that. She seems to be trapped there. King Goldcrest used to have like a small personal army of them. You're kidding. No.

I shit you not. The only reason he ever had a spy agency is because, well, he needed someone who's very existence on the material wasn't an affront to their existence. It would explain a few of the lost battles. I could free one of those. You can? Yeah. That could be very useful.

He taps his chest where you have seen him hide, and I think he's noticed you, noticed you noticing him doing this. He's got like a little book that he keeps very literally and figuratively close to his chest. Yes, I know a little ditty of a spell that releases invisible stalkers. Yes. I kept it as kind of like an insurance policy, I suppose, against King Goldcrest, should he ever deigned to have me killed. Right. Well, that'd be very useful. I think this creature would be very good to have on our side. Great. So where did you were trailing me? Where did you lose the trail?

Do you remember, it was three months ago, so you might not. But do you remember when you were flying and you had just escaped? Right. And then you decided that actually being captured was preferable? That's when I lost. I keep rubbing Greg. She was, I need someone had to. Well, of course, she is important, he says.

You're such a bitch, you're such a bitch. He is. She's important to somebody. Can I tell you a monk told me this story once? And it's a story about another monk, I assume. But after a hurricane, this man, a fisherman walking along the beach, inspecting all the damage to the boats and whatnot. He's a monk walking on the same beach, and the monk is picking up starfish and throwing them back in the sea. And the fisherman says, my dear friend, what are you doing?

You can't save them all. It doesn't matter. And the monk turns back and says, Lull, it doesn't matter. Why did you do that? I don't know, Pyrne, but I made a promise to look after her and I felt that she needed somebody to look after her. And I don't know.

Save one person, save the world, you know. I think I've just explained to you. I don't. But look, hey, you're here. Yes. So right, right, right, right, right. So that's happening by the by. So Strad, it seems to be.

Strad has the reason why everybody is here, all the people who are from different realms, heroes, adventures. It seems that he's wanting to give up his mantle. And I think everything is a test. Cool. Sorry, you also said something about an invading army. Is that a problem? That is a problem. Is that Empyrian, when he says this, you can tell he's like worried what he's worried he already knows the answer.

Is that our problem? Yes. Do you really, I look at, I gesture to myself, she had never seen an Izmir before. I mentioned that we were almost the opposite of a teafling. she had never seen a teafling before. She was extremely curious about my, I guess, physiology. Okay, look, hey, you sold me now. I was very against this before, but you have sold me on this. Say what you're going to make a personal.

Yes, you found truly what you found a subject that truly matters to me myself. Yes. So say what you will about, I guess, this particular realm we are in. and the person in charge. At least he has let us all keep our body's intact. So that's invading army, he's coming. And I give him the number that I saw, like how large it was. Thousands.

And I'm like, and that is marching on to the Borough. Well, if that's our problem, I suppose we've kind of in a way been solving it since day one. Yes. You have friends. Yeah, yeah, yes. So, um, another, yes. We, I, we have, I have friends. We have friends. To contact them somehow.

Um, Strad, speaking of our friends. Um, you will remember, uh, uh, perhaps the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, de, the, he's, you know, Yes. She's been a busy little bee actually. Speaking of friends that you can call upon. Yes. Oh, right. Druids, under her control now. Well, that is useful. That's great to hear.

So her destroying or cleansing the loads stones, whatever is happening at the moment, that is weakening strad. I believe if that was not happening, the strad could probably have taken on. the invading army. Are you upset that we're, or do you think we shouldn't have cleansed the lodestones? Because that's really something Pip was scared of. No, it's just more, because that is happening, Strata's becoming weaker, which is now that I'm...

What's our goal from the beginning. But now that I'm thinking it out loud is maybe how the lines between here and Bortch could be getting weaker. That is true. So now that I just was... So initially I was thinking that perhaps he could have taken on this... Because he is a very powerful individual. He could at least have...

I was thought maybe weakening means that we now have to organize a bit more of an army. But now I'm realising them doing this is actually making perhaps the fence line, shall we say, weaker, which is really good to hear. It's really cool that... We are fucked. And we don't even have your original dick to be fucked with. But you're right. We have friends. We have friends.

And as someone who has competed against them for quite a lot of my lifetime, can I say, in addition to the friends that we already have, a good friend to make and that we could make it to this party potentially, is the Kandinese army. Yes, I was thinking upon that. They're pretty keen to negotiate with Strad, and if Strad's willing to make some very minor trade concessions, we might be able to...

I think I have something they want. Okay. Pyrrne, in your travels, have you ever come across to anybody that bleeds blue? Pip, Keenan calls out, Father Lermick, Father Lermick, And from the dead center of town, terrible noise. You see as one huge, flabby, fleshy arm,

plows its way halfway across town. And then, another one. Don't really know how I'm meant to grapple that. And then a huge mass of flesh begins dragging itself down Main Street. Okay. Father Lemick

drags himself through the city towards you. Okay. Can I see any feasible way to grapple this? I mean, it would be actually pretty easy to grab. I guess I could grab. Yeah, I could just get any bit, really.

And then I've got the spell in me, so I just need to shove. Okay, I do something that Pip has very rarely done in his life and I move forward instead of backward. We're going to go to initiative. Oh, my God. Pip, as you charge forwards, you can see blobs of flesh growing, like watching cancer grow in a high-speed camera.

Yeah. You watch globules of Father Lemick grow, and then still attached to his body, sprout wings and begin flapping. As they stretch like a stretch armstrong until with a terrible snapping sound, Father Lemmix's equivalent of angels begin soaring above him.

Okay. At the same time, from his hands, more little arms begin stretching out and more cancerous growths begin developing into strange bipedial creatures, not bipedial, but someone on four legs. Quadrupedal? Quadrupedal. Quadrupedal creatures drag themselves out of his flesh and land on the ground. All arms, they begin sprinting alongside him.

Knowing obviously that I have no, there's no entry in Emmanuel for Father Limig, but using my main, many years as a monster hunter, can I try and, in my estimate, figure out the best way to defeat these creatures? Try and with a glance as I'm rushing toward Father Limock to help my allies who will presumably just be fighting these guys while I grapple with the big guy. Yeah. Yeah, like to try and discern weaknesses or immunities or, you know, that kind of thing. Vulnerability. You really wish you had hectic here right now. I think the whole time Pips running forward, he's thinking, this isn't even really my fight. You have no concept of what these entities are or their weaknesses or strengths.

You're going to have to find out through play. Okay. Okay. Is it obvious enough that my, I wouldn't need to call this out to my companions. They can see that this is happening. Yeah, they're very, you hear Iona just stifling a wretch. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. So, in total, about 10 flying ones sprout off and begin flying towards you, and the same number of crawling ones begin sprinting towards you. They move at a faster speed to Father Lemmock. They're going to reach you pretty much immediately, whereas Father Lemock is going to take a couple rounds to arrive. So you, I mean, you can continue to charge forwards if you want. You're not sure if these entities are going to follow you. or attack or kind of focus on your friends. You have no idea what their tactic is going to be.

You can, if you want, hold your ground with your allies and wait for Father Limic to come to you, which keeps you together as a group. Yeah. Or you can sprint forwards, dangerous, but it means that you get to grapple Limic faster. Okay. What's your preference here?

I think, I think, so Pip is unused to the charge. Okay, that's not really what I do. And I'm unused to putting myself in harm's way this directly. And so I think pumped full of adrenaline, I'm just going to keep charging, you know what I mean? So do you want to double move and then forego an attack? If you double move, you'll actually, the crawling ones might get an attack of up, but the flying ones will actually be then behind you. That's funny. But I know an attack of up could just kill me.

I'm so... You're pretty weak. I'm so weak. No, I won't double move. I'll move my full movement. and then I'll try and plug two of the ones on the ground. All right. You fire at one.

Oh, what sort of energy you're using? Oh, God. Why don't I have fucking... Father Lemick is a god of winter. Yeah. You would assume... Fire seems... Yeah, fire seems like the smart move, so I'll go fire.

All right. Crank, crank, crank, crank, crank. Thonk! You are... Your first attack is a hit, and you're clever to make it a fire shot as well. You see, you don't get the impression that you're doing double damage. You get the impression that you're allowed to...

who do damage because you're doing fire damage. Good stuff. The one that you shot is bloodied. Okay. Hey, that's good. Do you want to switch to a new target or fire it the same again? I'll fire at the same again. Let's get rid of him. Your second shot also hits and...

Yeah, you do enough. You down one of the crawling ones. Okay, that's good. Fire, I say. Fire, fire is good. Hit them with fire if you hadn't figured that out already. Didn't need to tell me twice. Yeah, sorry.

Don't need to be patronizing. He wasn't. It was more just like a, you know... Yeah, Phil Pips apologize. I'm doing Avengers, you know? Oh, we're quipp. On your left. The one that you plug twice, as it dies, the flames burn all across its amorphous skin, which seems to...

You watch as fractally within these creatures, more, like, tiny flying ones begin popping out, tiny crawling ones begin popping out. And then of those ones, even smaller and smaller. Is it the kind of thing where I get, like, looking at it for too long makes me dizzy, and I have to kind of just look away? Dizzy is maybe not the right word. Looking at it for too long might literally drive you mad. I try not to look at it.

As this entity is consumed in flames, you watch as it thrashes about and dies. It's very, obviously, Pipp has never seen John Carpenter's The Thing, but it is very reminiscent of killing the thing. Okay. The creature, you watch as it rapidly shifts between a bunch of different forms until finally it settles on a human, a human guard who you realize is wearing the uniform of a member of the Valachi militia. Oh. And then it falls forwards dying.

Well, that's probably for the best. You think you know where the Birger master is right now. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Cool. Please. All right, it is your allies' turn.

Erwin fires his crossbow, but is unable to deal damage to these creatures. And Erwin realizes it at the same time as everyone else. Fuck. He says. Keening, meanwhile, he gestures once with his hand, and a handle appears in his hand. He gives it like a throw-through. He whips it through the air, and you hear a crack as a firing. whip appears in his hand. He lashes it round one of the flying ones. You hear him over the din

of combat, you hear him call out, whoa, girl. And he starts drawing it in with the burning whip. I love that, man. All right. He does not kill one of the flying ones, but he is grappling it and dealing damage to it. Iona casts firebolt and tries to smite one of the flying ones she misses she whiffs it a bowl of flames goes nowhere elaniel does a very similar thing to you pip you watch she whispers a

she whispers some sort of song or melody to her arrows and as soon as they are released from her bow they catch fire fuck yeah she plugs two flying ones and I think she's going to immediately kill them both hell yes elaniel with quick and rapid

precision kills two flying entities. You see she's standing, her and Iona are standing kind of like back to back, side to side. You can see that they're whispering words of encouragement to each other as well. Cribut. Oh, yeah. Crivet, you feel as... Every time I see Cribut in combat, I'm like, you should have been here, man. Go home.

Duck for cover, man. Just observe from the sideline. What are you doing? You feel a shard of ice slip into your eyes. heart as something grapples you from behind, you realize, then you hear, no worries, my friend. Cribut places one of his hands. He's like, he's got his little legs wrapped around your chest, and he's got one arm on one of your shoulders. His other arm wraps around your other shoulder and touches your heart. You have a heart attack.

Curbett, no. Classic. I will end your suffering. Kribit has been working for Velen all along No, he bolsters you, Pip First off, you can add a D-10 to any D-20 roll In the next hour, I believe Or 10 minutes, I think it's 10 minutes actually And then he also

Yeah, you feel as the world It doesn't slow down enough for a haste spell but you see everything perceptibly start to start to move a little bit slower and you realize you're moving at your normal speed you have advantage on all your attacks

Oh hell yeah Thank you cribbit Tiny That huge collioptera The Beetleman Sprints past you at a rapid rate And grabs one of the crawling ones And uses it to batter a second

crawling ones Tiny. He smites one of the crawling ones. That rocks. Tiny's cool. It's also really funny because I'm like, aren't you a cleric or a ballad or something? He's doing barbarian moves.

What a baller. He's none of the things that you've mentioned. What the hell? You hear a core as Muriel turns into a bird and takes flight. She's got some future plan. A go gash standing next to you with his great sword in hand. I shall defend you until your last moments from now. It's just not, whatever.

He swings his sword. You see a Gogh with just, he does not overcome the damage resistances of these creatures, but he deals so much damage. 10, 20, 30, 40. Jesus Christ 55 He kills one of them Just through sheer

Bludgeoning force That's crazy Okay Powerful boy He's a powerful boy He's a powerful And Mark Quillett realizes He's kind of as useless as Irwin

Yeah Okay And then it is Father Lemick's turn Father Lemick Drags himself closer Two more rounds And he'll be here

Okay And then it's your enemies This is what I'm I was afraid of.