D&D is For Nerds - Barovia IV #27 Singing In the Dark Times

Episode Date: February 7, 2026

Y'know, folks like to say Pip is wholly without confidence. That he don't know how to make a decision. In some ways they're right I guess. 'Cept when it's him against a monster. Thats a different Pip altogether. When that crossbows pumpin' and he's making tough calls with teeth on his neck, thats a different Pip. I reckon folks see what I see then, I reckon they see him for real.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oi, lads, did you miss out on the Jaron's Outpost Kickstarter and wish you weren't such a big doofus? Well, fear not. Late pledges are now open and they'll be open for a little while, so just head to Kickstarter search for D&D for Nerds or Jaron's Outpost and slam that late pledge button. Although you see no water from miles around, we are nevertheless maroon. Stranded in this nightmare called Barovia, To change metaphors, we are imprisoned.

The mister surrounds us are our prison bars, and Baron von Strait, our warden. As far as I can tell, there's no escape except death. Either his or ours. Kinnin calls out, Father Lermick, Father Lermick, father Lermick. From the dead center of town, Terrible noise. You see as one huge, flabby, flesh,

arm, plows its way halfway across town. Two more rounds and he'll be here. And then it's your enemy's turn. This is what I was afraid of. A crawling one, so you've got cribber on your back foot. And then a crawling one attempts to launch itself on your front. God, don't weigh me down like this.

You manage to avoid both of its blows as it launches itself towards you. Maybe in like panic, you just kick at it. You successfully plant your boot in the center of its chest and force it away. Fuck yeah. Unfortunately, as soon as you touch it, as soon as you're that close to it, yeah, sorry, buddy. You feel a wave of winter chill wash over you. You take 10 points of cold damage. Oh, my God, dude.

Oh, my God. Okay. I wish I was strong. I missed when I was strong. I missed when my max HP was in the 80s, not, I think, 30s. That's 39, currently. It's almost 40.

It's almost 40. That's true. You used to be double that, but yeah. That's okay. Yeah. That's okay. I need a long rest to become normal again. Crawling ones fight your allies, as do flying ones. Don't like this the term crawling ones. Me neither. It's really bad. It's really off-putting.

It's really bad. Oh, I should say as well, anytime one of these entities, flying or crawling are killed, they do that awful screaming, thrashing, a thing and then eventually the, you can watch as what you assume is

Father Lemick sloths off them and reveals human underneath. God damn, dude. Okay, god damn. There is Father Limic in the street like puddles. I do not want to step in Father Limic. It looks like

liquid flesh. It feels like liquid flesh. Ew. They, um, they appear to be overpowering your allies. Oh, Owen is like pinned down underneath one of them. Mark Quillet,

you watch as Frost, runs up his arms as he grabs the one pinning Owen down and tries to wrestle it off him. Keening is holding his own pretty well. Any one of them that comes towards Keening, you watches it instantly, Keenings magical energy

causes flames to ripple along them and they scream and back off. None of them are on Keenning. Iona and Elaniel are forming a very convenient defensive phalanx. Tiny, uh, tiny's doing all right. He's swinging around one around like a club. Muriel appears to be trying to distract to the flying ones as best she can. You see a bunch of the flying ones are chasing after her.

Speaking of, not all of them, though. Okay. And one of the flying ones launches itself at you. Come on. That's a hit and a hits, my friend. Fuck, dude. God damn it I can't add Cribbutts

plus 10 to my To anything No not to anything in the You will in a moment You will in a moment Oh okay That well if you remain conscious After this

You take 10 Pipp's been in and out of consciousness So much Okay Everything goes black Pip Yeah

If you are unconscious And need to roll death saving through us. Maybe gain the benefits of a short rest. Yeah, I'm back, baby. I'm back. Well, I'm back. You have 6D10. Okay. Wait, am I right?

No, you have 4D10 that you can roll to recover hit points with. Let's burn them. Let's burn them all. Why not? You recover 16, 21, 22 hit points. Oh, my fucking story. That's what you're on.

Now, unfortunately, because this attack knocked you unconscious, you actually didn't get a chance to make this saving throw. Pip, you, the flying one, sorry, has latched its arms, its four arms around your two arms, and you watch his father Lemmock melts off it and onto you. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. And you didn't even get a chance to roll. That sucks. You didn't get a saving throw for that, unfortunately. I'm like, oh.

Pip, it's your turn. Right. Okay. You only have to deal two more turns. Now, two... So if I wanted to cast, say, if I wanted to use one of my Sharpshot companion abilities, the burst shot,

which I hit every enemy within a 10-foot radius sphere. Would I be able to do that, or am I two grappled? You could hit every crawling one with that attack and the flying one that's grappling you. Okay, well, I'm going to do that then. Okay. They are... This road is being made way bigger by far the limit,

but it is not wide enough where you are currently for them to be that far apart from each other. So yeah, you could hit every crawling one like this. Look out, I say, because I'm about to fire so many arrows. Maybe don't even look out. Don't get hit. Sorry, can you check? Do you make an attack roll or do they make a saving throw? Each attack and its damage must be rolled individually. Okay.

They're all made an advantage. Yeah. Let's do the flying one, grappling you first. Now, that, actually, sorry, this one balances out. It's neither advantage nor disadvantage. Yeah. Because it's grappling. Yeah.

You're making an attack against a creature grappling you. You'll want that the twin... Let's use it. Let's use it. You hit. Okay. And it's fire damage, right? Yeah. Is Cribut still on me?

Yeah, he's on your back. Okay. I am coveting guys. You're about... If you don't get this thing off you, you're going to be so much more coveted guy. I'm letting you know. You deal 19 points. damage, which is not enough to kill it, unfortunately. Moles.

And then let's roll seven attacks at advantage for all the crawling, guys. That's a mess. Fuck. That's a hit. That is one the tiny's already damaged. Oh my God, yeah, you kill one. It's funny to just force you to roll one million dice.

Cop that. You can do it twice, right? That is true. No, I believe, because it's one of the first. My improved shots, I can't do, I can't do it once. This is the fourth. Miss, fucking out. Come on.

Critical hit on the fifth one. Thank God. I was like, surely I get at least one crit out of it. You should have spent that. I know. Your options are low, no, sorry, your options are in the knee or with a sharp stick. Let's go with a sharp stick. Quadruple damage and the target must make a DC-16 dexterity saving throw on a failed save.

The target loses an eye. GM decides which one. Baller. So, I don't think it's going to matter because quadruple damage is 4D10 and 8D6. I don't know if I'm even going to... I don't know why I'm bothering the roll with.

If they were all ones, I think I'd still be doing pretty good. Yeah. Oh, plus 12. 10. 20. It's just absolutely annihilated this one guy. 30.

Yeah. I first. 40. Straight through the eye Into the brain Into the pavement Into the exploding part of the

human brain Or of the Well, though the human brain 60 This is very funny He did 66 points of damage Six more than Oogash did

On his attack But he didn't get a critical Yeah It's very Look what they need to do To imitate a fraction Of our power Oh I see

You kill that one Okay Awesome That's nice to for Adam to really emphasize Ago Gash's superiority. Yeah, you really just snatch that victory away from you. Yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry. I can't feel good about it. No, no, no. I'm sorry, the DMPC is really powerful. And he looks exactly like me. And everyone loves him. That's true. You get another critical, by the way.

Nice. You get Chris on 19, right? Yeah. And your options are, press the advantage or distracting jab? press the advantage. Fuck. You tricked me.

Your options were could triple or triple damage. So, fuck, dude. Triple damage, and it wasn't a melee attack, so you can't do the extra thing, but triple damage is still pretty fucking good. He tricked me. He did. He did. He misled me.

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, dude. I have no obligation to do shit for you. He constantly tricks us. He constantly tricks us. 10, 20. He loves. to see his fail. Well, that's true.

10.20. What's six times? You kill it. I don't know why I'm fucking. Fair enough. All right. I think that's all of them. I think that's every role.

So you wounded the flying. You load... I don't know how you're describing this. If you're like, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong. Or if you're just throwing a bunch of crossbow volts. Given that I have a guy on my front and a guy on my back,

all I can do is load a bunch. It's probably a mistake. You're asking Cribbett to give you crossbow bolts. Put the bolts in. Put the bolts in. That's too many bolts. Too many bolts. Oh, whatever. Fuck it.

You panic fire, and it really pays off for you. A Gogash looks at you and says, My friend, did you mean to do that? Fuck off, a Gogash. Fuck right off. All right, that was your turn, Pip. It's your eyes' turn. Owen and Mark Quillett struggle with...

Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Never mind. Never mind. The tide has turned. Joel, get back or nighty-night? Oh, 99. 99. 99. All right. Mark Quillet, screaming at the thing pinning Irwin, slams it and just docks it in one of its three heads.

99, quadruple damage, and if the target... And if the damage the target takes is equal or greater than one quarter of its maximum hit points, it is knocked unconscious. Yeah. They can sleep. Yeah, finally. Yeah. It needs to make a con saving throw. Yeah. No, wait. No, no... Oh, yep, all right. He just dongs it with his fist and it fucking keels over and not dead, but unconscious. That's awesome.

Mark Willett, looking down at Owen, Erwin looking up at Mark Quillet, Erwin. says, did you mean to do that? Fuck off, knock with it. It's Keenning's turn. He, watching as Muriel looks about,

looks about like she's about to be overwhelmed, he casts the same spell as before in his other hand and begins dragging two of these things down towards him. That's so cool. The one that he already leashed dies, so he kills one of the flying ones. and then the other one

Oh, also dies. My boyfriend's awesome, dude. And it's Iona and Elaniel's turn. Iona fires at one of the flying ones. Misses again. Sorry, Iona. God damn it, Iona, come on. She only has the one fire spell.

And Elaniel... Oh, wait, she gets three. Elaniel misses one, but strikes two others. Her flaming arrows, wound one. wound the second one and that's it that's okay that's good that's good all right

then Cribbitt's turn Cribbits are seeing how weak you are as Adam forgot how weak you are Cribert's gonna probably do something about that really cribbit you know we joke that

a go gash is the Adam's self insert but truly it's Cribut you know Cribut carnivaler Krippett mutters into your ear heck, oh first off, you get another robotic inspiration, you can use another D-10 on any D-20 roll

and Crippett muttering into your ear asks, do you want me to heal you or make it dance? What could you mean by that? He sounds like he's being real literal with this one. Huh. If he makes it dance, it'll probably let go of me. And so I...

That's the idea, yeah. I think I prefer that. Make it dance. What? May what dance? God did make it dance. Okay, what? What are you saying to me right now?

Cribut, Cribut climbs a little bit further up you, standing on your shoulders, balancing himself very perfectly. Wow. He pulls out a loot and begins strumming on it. I once saw a girl She loved me I once saw a boy

He hates me The creature Has no saving Oh no there isn't a saving throw I'm supposed to be like Is there a fucking saving throw in this spell The flying creature Let's go of you

Lans And begins It's handboating It begins hamboating a dance along It's hamboating What the fuck? And it sings in time with the song. I don't have the time to stop and appreciate the absurdity of the situation.

Immediately Father Limic recedes from your arms. Okay. The liquid limik, as we will be calling it from now on. Yuck. Ew. Tiny, kicks one of the crawling ones into a standing position. And then you watch, you have a point. You ever played the, like, Batman Arkham games?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know that move where Batman's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, doom, doom, doom, doon, do, do, do, do, do, do you. He does that in an insanely quick series of punches. So kind of like E Honda from Street Fighter? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Does he, does he have, um, how many arms does he have? He has four arms, matching them.

He has two big, huge arms and then two little ones, yeah. Damn. That's a lot of punching. Yeah. Oh yeah. He's a beetle guy. I keep thinking that he's like, you know, the beetles with a horn? Yeah, like a rhinoceros beetle.

That kind of thing. That's those sort of beetle I'm imagining. Hit, hit, hit critical. Go tiny. And he does. He also seems to be, you watch every time, by the way, this isn't just now. This is every time tiny punches. You watch as he.

punches, there's like this, this energy aura that runs down his arm. Like, he is standing inside a ghost version of himself that is slightly bigger than him. Cool. And whatever that ghost version of him is appears to be overcoming the damage reduction of these creatures. Oh, I just, I'm so stupid. I just finally realize what classy is. I'm so fucking dumb, dude.

He, by the way, oh, he finishes this display with, he lowers his whole. horn, scoops the creature up, throws it into the fucking air, and when it lands, you watch as it lands with enough impact that the father lemmick just flattens out, and the corpse inside coughs up a bunch of blood and lies still. He kills one of the crawling ones. Tiny's cool. And that was tiny. Muriel is trying really hard to dodge.

Muriel ducks, dodges, and weaves in between the flying ones, and then one wraps itself around her, and the two of them hit the ground. You watch as Muriel from inside the bowl of Father Lemmick starts trying to punch her way out, and then she explodes out of it. Thank God, dude. She's in wear-raven form now, so she's humanoid-sized, half raven, half raven, half person. That's awesome. Oh, cool. That's a cool look. That's the first time we've seen Wear Raven? Yes, I think so, maybe. That's baller, dude. Does she have like the monstrousness of a werewolf? Yeah.

It's like if a were... Imagine a raven instead of... Fuck, that's sick. She... Holding up part of the... Holding Father Lemick in her bird hands, it runs in between her fingers dead. Wow. I always just assumed with a wear raven, they were just like turn into a raven.

And that was it. Not this. Not this fucking awesome mix. We should have all become wearing. Buy us, Muriel. Buy us. We made a mistake. It's getting to the point where I feel like you're making fun of me.

No. It's a go-cash's turn. Are you sure you're not making fun of me? I'm never making fun of you. Even when he called you Nostradam ass, that was actually not at all making fun. That was just ripping amongst friends. Okay. You should have picked a 16th century.

What the fuck was not your house? I don't know. Wizard. Seale? Seer to name me after and then make a joke about that. Sorry, go on. A go-gash cuts two of them neatly in half. Hell yeah.

You're down to one crawling, five flying. It's father lemmick's turn. He gives birth two. Oh, okay. A further four crawling ones. Okay. And six flying ones. He can just do that.

He can just do that. That's disgusting. But thankfully, is he closer or did he... He's one turn away. Okay. Or you can move to him. Yeah, and get shredded. No thank you.

Pip, you were attacked by three crawling ones. Okay, I guess you're getting shredded either fucking way. Now, cribbit. sped you up that's oh that's just advantage for attacks yeah what else he did something he gave me body inspiration he made that thing dance that's right that's what he did

miss Jesus miss miss critical hey hey this is good this is bad this is bad you're bad dear knocked off balance or kneecapped

both of them really sound like I'm about to fall over yeah but Kneecap seems like maybe your knee explodes, where one view might have a little tumble. You know? Knocked off. So, kneecap. Okay, kneecap.

No, no, no, no. Does I have been picked. Neaccapped? Oh, Joel. Oh, Joel. Quadruple damage. And you have disadvantage on skill checks that rely on your legs. until you finish a long rest.

I was being sarcastic. We were being funny. Can we do it do over? It wasn't worth it for the funny. Oh, I keep forgetting. You take 25 points of damage. Oh, shit. That's going to be a massive wound.

That was, maybe we shouldn't have done the funny option. Yeah, maybe we should have gone for the one that sounded less. was the other one just had a curiosity. Yeah, you sort of curious. Hang on. Oh, you really don't want to know. It was really way better. We're aware, Adam.

We don't. I got to rub out so many things, so I keep track of how few hit points. Okay. You're so dear. Oh, you're, did I say 25? Things go black again. Fucking, I got one more. Yeah.

Back from the dead. If you died within the last minute, Return to life with one hit point. You're not... Oh, it downed or die? Died. You're not dead yet. Yet. Yeah, okay.

You know what, I'll allow it. No, no, no. No, no, this could just be... No, no, because I may die, Adam. No, I'm being really kind because you're not going to die. You're going to be far the limit. Okay, hey.

Hey, Bell. Thanks for the... Oh, I see. Thanks for the assist there. Thanks for the assist. This is me being kind. Okay. You, the crawling one that did this to you, knocked you down, slammed you in the chest.

It's fist when it connected with your chest. Father Lemick starts spreading over your chest. Cribut from underneath you. Oh, no, he was standing on top of you. I feel the flying one, sorry. I think the flying ones, sorry. I reckon he probably would have just aimed at his, well, his niece. Yeah.

That wasn't the flying ones. Oh, the flying ones missed you. No, I haven't done them yet. Oh, we're not done. No, this isn't done. Oh, fuck. You're fucked. Knocked off balance,

double damage, and lose one attack on your next turn. That would have been nice. It wouldn't have downed you to. Shouldn't have gone for the joke one. Okay. All right, okay. So, you're on one hit point. That was the crawling ones.

A couple crawling ones attack your allies. None of your allies get hit. But then we're on the flying ones, and there's 11 of them. Now, Muriel's probably going to cop it the worst right now. That's good. Okay. That's one, two, three, four, four, bad-ass wear raven at present.

Presumably, it's like, wear a raven tanky. I'm hoping. And maybe it's the kind of thing like when you wild shape, Well, when she takes a bunch of damage, she just becomes a human again. And then gets the damage when they're human. Oh, that's right. It carries over. This keeps going.

Oh, that's a critical. Get down or that'll buff out. Oh, that'll buff out. Doesn't count. Get down or right in the shins. What's the least funny option? Get down? In the shins is funny.

In the shins is funny. So let's go get down, Adam. Double damage. Okay, that's not too bad. And if the resulting damage is equal to or greater than half of your maximum hit points, you are knocked prone. No, not her maximum. That's okay. That's all right.

That's okay. That's all right. Birds can fly. Birds can fly. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, fuck, man. No, that's not going to...

Yeah, that won't be enough. Okay. Thank God. It's just double damage. Then that's one critical hit, then hit, hit, hit, hit, hit. So that's two, four, six, eight, ten, D-six. All right. Rottio.

Rottio on that one, Adam. Look at him. Okay. She was with us so briefly. Yeah. You know. Briefest flames burn just as quick or whatever. Yeah.

Beautifully. Beautifully sad, my friend. 30. Cribert. That's what I'm hoping. Crivet's got a, he'll have a mass heel. Wow. Muriel is still standing.

Whoa. She's tough as fuck. Wow. She is going to need to make a bunch of saving throws. Okay. That she may struggle with. Pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, fail, fail, fail. Hey, that's like 50%.

That's pretty good. Muriel's arms, legs, and chest are covered in Father Lemock. Ew. That's really bad. I don't have to fight a Father Limocked Weir Raven. But maybe it'll just become a flying one. I don't know what you were. Goodness.

Okay. One of the flying ones tries to attack Tiny, and instead of attacking Tiny successfully, Tiny gains a new weapon. He snatches one of the flying ones as it sores past, and then you see him like a... Like a nunchucks? Yeah, like nunchucks.

He's spinning it around. That's awesome. That's awesome. And that is the creature, not Tiny. Tiny has actually not made a noise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got that thrum that I can hear in my head. Pip, your turn.

Okay. There's the dancing one still in front of you. Okay, who, looking back at my allies, who seems like they're in the worst shape? Tiny is, Tiny and a go-gash are kind of tanking a lot of this right now. Marquillet and Irwin are like plugging and flying ones, but they're not really doing anything. But they have understood that they're really not part of this fight, so they've fallen back quite a bit. Keening is fucking smiting as best as he can

Iona and Elaniel are holding their own you and Kribut are probably in the worst situation right now Okay Okay Okay Or

Scatter shot Yeah You could take a bunch of attacks of op And charge far the limit And get there This turn Yeah Sure

But how many hit points Adam? Just remind a fella Remind a fella, look at your documents there. Oh, that's right, you're being grappled. Never mind, you can't do that anyway. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

All right, I'm going to, I think this is probably the best move. I'm going to spray shot. So it's a similar to what I did before, but it's a 30-foot cone. Okay. You could angle upwards and get all the flying ones

or angle downwards and get all the crawling ones. I feel like the flying ones are going to be out. There's more flying ones. and crawling ones. Yeah. I'll go for the flying ones. All right. This is a...

Oh yeah, true. What's going on? I've got pinpoint accuracy. Automatically critical hit on your weapon attack but do minimum damage. Okay. This could be very good for us. This could be very good. Pierced thigh or find an opening?

Find an opening. Find an opening? I'm sticking with it. You're going find your... Find an opening? Whatever may come may come. What if it was find an opening? What if it was find an opening?

or shoulder jab. Find an opening. Still sounds more interesting. What if it was finding an opening? Or press the advantage. Did I get pressed the advantage before? You did. And I don't think it...

Find the... Find the opening. My hope is, this is what I think the card does. I don't know if this is true. This is what I think it does. That it gives my allies an attack of op on the people I've damaged. No.

Don't do that. Tell you what, shoulder jab probably would have been the one you preferred the most out of everyone that I've just read. Maximum damage, which I would say overcome pinpoint accuracy's minimum damage. But maximum damage and roll the damage dice again. This one is maximum damage, which does overcome, I would say. And you have advantage on your next attack against the target. It's just less damage. Okay.

Well, hey, that's fine. But I'll say maximum damage to every flying one. which for you is 2D6 plus a D10 plus 3. So that is 22 plus 3, 25. That kills all the flying ones. Yes. Yes. You decimate the field, Pip.

Give me arrows again. Give me arrows again, Cripp, like you did last time. You need to make a constitution saving throw. Because you didn't kill the crissue. crawling one on you. Did he pass? That's a fail. You got something for a con check?

Advantage. Advantage? Okay. It's a re-roll with advantage, at least. Oh, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, shit. Is it just a skill check, right?

No, it's a saving throw. Shit, shut it down. What? Pip, you could impress a part at MBC with a party trick. Okay. Pip, you feel a coldness spreading out. Wait, do I have bought a inspiration still? Yes.

Let's use that. Let's use that. I feel the warmth of Kribbett's wet little hand. Krivet massage at your shoulders. You have this one. It is not your time to die. I'm so sick of being cold. Father Lemix influence proceeds and pulls back.

Oh, thank God, dude. Jesus fucking Christ. That was, Pip, your turn. It is your allies's turn. Erwin and Mark Willett are really just not part of this. Keening seeing the fucking... Is handing someone something a free action? Yeah.

Am I close enough to McQuillet that I could hand them something? No. Okay. Mark Willett, they've pulled back pretty fine. Never mind. I've just got fire bolts, that's all. You could call out to him. Well, yeah, maybe I do.

As I'm going, because I felt Father Limock leaving my body. I said, Macquillet, whoever has the crossbow. And then I like to, because I'm assuming I can't hand it to him, but I can pull them out of my pack and kind of just let them,

drop on the ground. So I'll say Keening, seeing what's happening and also worried for you. You can see like a stricken look on his face. Keening, the first one misses, but second one hits. He lassoes with the whip. He throwing it around his head. He throws it around the neck of the creature on top of you, lassoing it, he drags it off you and deals it a bit of damage. It's wounded, bloodied, but not bad. Okay. That's good. That's good. There's something. And that is Keenning's turn. At the same time, Erwin runs up next to you, grabs them from you, puts a hand out to grab your hand. Okay, I take it. You are standing now. Erwin drags you into a standing spot.

Thank you. Thank you. Sorry, I couldn't remember which one have you had the crossbow. Owen doesn't even say anything. He's just thoughts, like, in the same way that you were frantically loading your crossbow, he starts frantically loading his. That is going to be his turn, though. Iona, come on. She hits. Finally. Iona hits, and the one that Keening is dragging in, she kills.

Okay. Okay. And Elaniel fires once. She fires twice. She fires three times. Two hits. Come on, Elaniel, do good. You are my real author, insert.

She kills another one of the crawling ones, so you're down to three crawlers. Beautiful. And then she kills another crawler. You're down to two crawlers. I did bath really bad. Wow, you really did, dude. How many did you think? I don't know.

Just abysmal, too. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's me. No, no, no. I appreciate that, but no. You don't know. No, I think we know. Okay, man.

Cribut casts cure wounds on you, Oh, thank God. You recover 24 hit points. Thank fucking God. You're on 25. I'm burning through the second area of the character sheet where I started writing down your hit points. I can see, there's a hole. I can fucking see through.

Is my knee fucked? Did my knee get fucked? Yeah, dude. Yeah. Wasn't that the critical hit that I got? Oh, yeah, your knee is shattered. Disadvantage on anything requiring legs That's right

And a wound Good thing you don't need to move anywhere May I have a good boy card for a reminder You have a thing that so negatively impacts my life All right, you can have a good boy card Thank you And that is It's Cribut, it's Tiny's turn

Tiny Yeah Jack, I have this which Given your current situation You may actually need this Oh, true Okay. Tiny repeats his action from before, attacking a series. He's doing a series of stunning two critical hits.

I'm not rolling. He kills one. I'm not rolling. I'm so glad we got Tiny. Tiny's the heart and soul. And then between Muriel and a Gogh, Muriel sets it up. Muriel in Ware Raven form, spreads her arm wings, a big, huge, huge flutter and she launches herself in the air, grabs the last one, drags it up, throws it, and a go-gash cuts it in two.

You're out of crawling and flying ones. Okay. It's Father Lemmick's turn. Father Lemmick gives birth two. Of course. Why, of course. Nine flying ones. He's a pregnant fella.

He's bursting with ones. And 13 crawling... 13? Okay. Jeez. Okay. And he's here. Father Lemick.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. A D-10 should be enough. Goodness me. Five. One, two, three. Cribut. No. He's a hard and soul.

Father Lemick. Just realized the joke. Father Lemick, one of his huge... Flabby arms comes down on Cribbitt. Now, and I hate to put myself in things. You are next to Cribbitt, I'm aware.

As is Owen. Oh no. All right. Cribbit rolls out of the way. But Owen and you, Pip, fail. Do you have anything for a dexterity saving throw? Do you want to spend it on yourself? I do not. I got nothing, do you got anything?

I get behind me. You can take all incoming damage for an ally. Do you want to spend that? Yeah, I'll spend it. Owen would be willing to save Pip. Oh, I was going to kick him out and as it lands on me, grab Father Lurma. Owen, as it's coming down, if you're willing to spend it on Owen, heckler. I will spend it.

Whatever the accent wants to do. As the arm comes down, Owen looks at you. Owen looks at you, Pip. You are charged with the spell. Yeah. Good luck. He shoves you. You land bodily on the ground as... Oh, fuck.

The arm comes down and Owen is killed. Danick has come to be son. Oh, fuck. It's your enemies' turn. There are nine flying ones. Okay. Critical. Critical. Hit. Hit. This is against... Not against you. This is against Muriel. Nevertheless, dude. Never the fucking less.

Um... I am pretty sure of Muriel's on two hit points. I'm not going to roll. Muriel goes down. Okay. I... Actually, I think I do need to roll. Just on the criticals, though. Um, for the first critical, Joel. Years. Drop it? At least funny. Or crushing blow?

Well, drop, drop it. Drop it. Yeah, yeah, you drop it, sure. All right. Well, she's not holding anything, so that doesn't do anything. We save that, dude. Okay. This really, it's become Yu-Gi-O.

Staggered or mangler? Well, geez, you'd hate to choose Mangala, so let's go with Staggart. Are you sure? Oh, God, what do you mean, am I sure? How could Mangler be the better one? He doesn't look like he's tricking us I know Should I have came Mangler

It is Neither of them are good Mangler we pick Mangler I Mangler She's not gonna die Staggart was quadruple damage No way Oh my fucking God

Oh my go Mangala Mangler is make a DC Constitution saving throw on a failed save Your dexterity score is permanently reduced by one That's better Honestly that's better That's better.

You can live with scars. She gets 16 on the dime. She passes. Beautiful. Beautiful. Mangler should not be that chill. She goes down, but she... Adam, come on, man. She goes down, but she doesn't die.

Okay, thank God. Yeah, does the wear raven? Is she protected by her wearer? She turns back to a human... No, she... She... Her prone form becomes human. Oh, that's nice.

Fuck, dude. She is... stole down. She got extra hit points out of it that she already burned through. Okay. But I thought they only could get killed by a silver bullet. That was six.

There were three flying ones left. Then all the crawling ones. Oh, God. Wow. Okay. The rest of the flying ones, fucking whiffed their attacks against the Gagash. You know? Well, he is the protagonist. Well, yeah. It's a Gagash's world. We're just living in it. Tiny

Critical hit. No. He's the heart and soul of the... Two hits and a critical. He's the heart and soul of this fucking team, Adam. How dare you? They're getting so many critical. I know.

It just clued into me. Are they hitting on a 19 and a 22? No. What the fuck? Adam's playing with weighted dice. And he takes 19 from the regulars. Okay. And then...

Mangler. Manglo. Ragged scar Or a hideous Scar Hidious or What was it Raghid

Hidious or ragged Raghid It's better than Hidio Ragged sounds nice You receive a permanent scar on your face And you gain proficiency in charisma

Intimitation But lose proficiency And charisma Persuasion if you had it So that doesn't do any extra damage Fuck yes That right And now he looks cool

Now he looks badass dude Yeah Now he looks intimidating Yeah You watch as one of the crawlers Launches itself at Tiny And slams its fist into his face You see you hear crack

And then you watch like glass Shards of of Tiny's armor Lands on the ground along with blood Oh cool Tiny has a huge crack Down the center of his face Tiny's so fucking cool He's so fucking cool

All right that was three of the 13 Oh my god Four Five Attack a go gash He's a go gash He's not even a go gash Yeah good even

Hopefully they all gl are crits Yeah Hit hit hit hit crit I joked He is playing with weighted dice Right I feel I feel he is What the fuck? Mangler

Mangler mangla Mangler He better not get a cool scar If he gets a cool scar He gets a cool scar we'll never hear the end of it What are is the difference between hideous and ragged. I think one of them is like more

intimidation, maybe. Well, scaring is intimidation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think are hideous. I don't know. Maybe it's a plus two. I don't know. Disarmed or off form.

Off form. Off form. You have disadvantage on your next melee attack, which doesn't affect a go gash. Yes. That actually neither of one. He's actually immune to critical heads. Is that a thing?

Is that a thing or is that a just something out of... Is it out of original right now? It's not a joke. He is actually immune to critical hits. Okay. I was just reading them out as a fun joke for you. Yeah, okay. Okay. He also only takes seven points of damage.

Like, just in general. Yeah. He only ever takes seven points of damage. He also gets us cool scar. Who else is a frontline fighter? Fuck, dude. Um... Oh, Pip!

Here it comes. Cool scar, cool scar, cool scar. I trip both of the letter. Manglo, manglow. Three hits, Jesus, Oh, Christ. Fuck. man.

Fuck. Come on. And Oobin just basically sacrificed himself. If I go down, which I'm fucking gonna. Yeah. Maybe they'll all fumble the bag. You have a... You have 25 hit points.

Yeah. You take 24. Oh. Here I am again. Well, back here again. Here I am again. Okay. How sweet it is.

And that is all of them. Except two. Who attack Keening? Keenning's going to be fine. Are you... Come look at the Dutch. No, no, I don't want it. Fine, fine, fine, okay, okay.

The blue one. Whatever. Whatever, Adam. Yeah, okay. Sure. It's a 20. It's a 20. Could be a cool scar, though.

Yeah, it could make him harder. It could make him harder. All right, but only one regular hit, which deals eight points of damage to Keening. Make them pay or want to know how I got these. Give him a scar. Oh, come what.

Give him a scar. Give him a scar. Oh, God, our party's getting sexy. Double damage and you receive a permanent scar on your face. Yeah, he does. Fuck, yes, dude. Cowboy with a scar, you kidding me? Is it going to be the coolest kind of scar of a one eye?

Oh, you better believe it is. Flattens his nose. No! Oh. Sorry, Keeney. 12 points of damage. 12 points of damage. And Keening, as the creature,

this creature is like scrambling with fingers and nails at Keenings' face, he screams as one of the fingers jams itself into his eyeduct and tears down. Oh, yeah. No, that's the best cool. It's a cool place to get a scar. It doesn't look good now. Yeah, not now. We know that.

His face is torn open. Yeah, yeah. It's bad now. Yeah. You see Keening's skull. Just a little part of it. It's a little. Okay.

That's really bad. That is very bad. I should write down who received scars in this fight. It was just tiny and Keening, right? I want a lot of, like, crawling ones. They also got scars. But they're dead, so it doesn't, I guess, don't hear it. That's so cool the tiny scar is just a crack because he doesn't really have skin.

It always like a shattered glass. Oh, that's cool. Tiny's, yeah. Holyoptera. Keeney's going to get a cool down the side of the face. Fan artists. Don't forget you.

He's also got no one hand missing. I know. I've got on for Keenan. That was your enemies this turn. Pipp. Father Lemick is so close you could reach out. His hand is next to you.

Okay. I look back of my allies and like, obviously they're not in a good way, but it's not going to end until I touch Father Lemmaic. And then, because I guess you can see it from anywhere in Borovia, I look up at Castle Ravenloft, and under my breath I say, God damn it, you're rubbing off on me. And then with one hand, I reach out and try and grapple Father Limock, even if it's just his finger. You reaching out, you grab one, and less like a grapple and more like you intend to climb Father Lemick.

And as that happens, your flesh begins to sink into Father Lemick. And for a brief moment, I would say that in the time it takes to cast your innate spell, for a brief moment, you feel but do not succumb to oneness with Father Lemick. It feels very different from oneness to the lands of Barovia. The oneness with lands of Borovia felt almost like a distance. like an omniscience, omnipotence, but like a complete detachment from emotion and personality, with the exception of your desperation. You're a burning desire for Keening. This is something else entirely.

You feel, Pip, as your worst impulses are dialed to 11. You feel selfishness, you feel hatred. You feel your self-loathing. Self-loathing. And you feel all your catty instincts brought to the four. Probably, I think, if that happens to me, as I'm sinking in, I start trying to pull away. But I'm assuming it's too late. That's, was.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's too late. Yeah. But if anybody watching could see, they see me sing and then, oh. It's not to resist. No, no. I'm all oneness of all varieties.

somewhere within the depths of Father Lemmec, the last dying gasp of Irwin calls out to you and before the spell, you feel like it charging within you, you didn't even activate it, it just starts working on its own. Thank God that's how it works. Thank God. You hear Irwin calling out to you and it's the last thought, or the one thing, it's like the only way that you are able to keep,

Pipp. Mandarin together and whole is latching onto something external to you to remind you of who you are. You hear Owen calling out, in the dark times, will there not also be singing? Yes, about the dark times. Did I let the spell go off?