D&D is For Nerds - Barovia IV #32 The Titles That Define Us

Episode Date: March 14, 2026

My whole life, I’ve only know of one profession: Knight of the Cloth. There are Oaths to take. Oaths you should not break, cannot break. I took them before I could grow hair on my chin. The Divine Order taught me many things. Mostly how to fight with a sword and not embarrass myself in front of dignitaries. I can recite 9 different prayers for the morning, tell the difference between most devils and demons at a glance but I have no idea how to balance a budget. Contracts are a foreign concept, I was taught that my word was stronger than ironwood. I do not have the training, the brains nor the stomach for politicking. I’ve always hated the dishonesty of it all. But here I am, having to be dishonest to everyone because he is always listening and if he finds out what I have planned I would have died for no reason, like so many others before me.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oi, lads, did you miss out on the Jaron's Outpost Kickstarter and wish you weren't such a big doofus? Well, fear not. Late pledges are now open and they'll be open for a little while, so just head to Kickstarter search for D&D for nerds or Jaron's Outpost and slam that late pledge button. Although you see no water for miles around, you are, like us, marooned. You're stranded in this sad and lonely place called Barovia. To mix metaphors, we are incarcerated.

The fog that surrounds us are the bars of our dungeon, and Baron von Strade is out jailer. As far as I can tell, there is only one way out, and that is to kill the devil Strad. You hear, and you see a raven circling above you. Do you know much about the dark places? We are aware that you met the patron of a different land. Bortia. Madam Borizzi? We need to work together.

Everyone in Parovia. We need to stop that. And then we can go back to trying to do the other things. Hector, are you confident you have the order of events, correct? My mind is clear. I know what I must do. If I am the avatar, you just have to fight vampire. But the only way that we can do that is if we stop things.

invasion. Because yes, while now might be the perfect time to strike, why he is weak, why he is withering away, vampire is still strong. She gives you a pain smile. Yes, you can handle the devil. I see

that you have already survived one puzzle with him. She gestures to your neck. Yes, I have survived. I'm doing what I can to save as many people as I can. The only way I know how. I can save, and I can clearly say this is very evident. If I can save just one person by putting myself in danger, by taking on the hurt, I gesture to myself and just the amount of body that isn't mine,

clearly I am willing to do that. I am but a speck. I am nothing in comparison to you and your order into the rest of the people. of Barovia into the rest of this whole place I want to save as many people as I can and if that is all what it needs to be then that is what it needs to be. You say

that the devil doesn't let us have our own ghost, doesn't let us have our own thoughts, our own way of doing things and yet here you are standing before me, patronizing me, looking down on me, looking at me like I am a child who doesn't know the outcome. I am not naive. Pip has the same problem with me. I know the risks.

I'm just willing to take them. She sighs. Okay. I will take this too general Mandarin. You feel immediately, Hector, like your relationship with her feels different and strange compared to all the other companions you've met. While she might not consider you necessarily an inferior, she really isn't looking to you for advice. It seemed like she wanted to give you some advice. You see she quite clearly,

she quite clearly is putting a lot of stock in Pip instead. Please, Hector, remember that your first days in this land you found an angel who thought the same. I suppose you're right. I will do as the way of the feather. She, like, there's a pained expression as she, remembers for a moment that she is like one of three remaining members. I will do as the way of the feather have always done.

We will offer what assistance we can as adventurers try to. And then she gives you a little nod. Let's just change the subject. What of these new people is, I saw not much, but enough to know that this new ally of your, yours is substantial. What are these? Who are these people?

They are people from my home. Just thousands of... You are allies? In the future. I hope so, yes. Oh, in the future. So you know of them, but... Did you ever meet John, John Cavendish?

No, I know of through... Not really. I know of him through our observations of you and what, and through other members of. my water. I think he is from Cando, I am from Cando, he's from... But from different times. From a different time, yes. I think they are from around his era, give or take

a few decades. I don't know how it all works. Right. Kind of shrug. But they are, I mean, you haven't seen him, but Cavendish in battle is a powerhouse. So having more of them can only really be good. And forgive me, Pyrrhen furnished me as well as he could, but this invasion, Borgia, we know the engineer is from there.

Yes. So he may have more information. I think we need everyone to reconvene so that we may discuss our next moves. But I understand, or I am given to understand, Elaniel and Tapos are disagree on what should happen with the last of the lodestones. Yes. That may not be able to wait.

Let's believe that having trouble finding the last one. Can the devil tell you anything about it? Could we get some concessions from it in exchange for our assistance? Probably. What else would you want? The location of the last of the Lord's stones All right, I'll do my best

You know she's asking for something you already know Oh, I know, but also know that she's going to tell Elaniel where it is And then Elenial wants it destroyed Okay And I don't want it destroyed So, I mean, the problem is though Elenel wants it destroyed and Tapas does not

So both of them find out They'll just make a B-line to that, right? I suppose And then whoever is there first, is their first, or they will fight it out? It needs to be cleansed or destroyed regardless if we want to defeat our final enemy. I fear once that is cleansed or destroyed, that will be the last straw. Whatever is keeping the barrier up. And then we will have an army coming down upon us.

Before I leave, Hector, can I ask something of you? from the exterior, as I said, you were aligning everyone against the devil. You go and presumably this opinion occurred to you before you met with him. But it is not, we do not talk to you until after you have met with him. And now this new threat is more important to you. I only ask that you understand that for everyone who was not there, what that looks like. I understand.

Okay. For now, we trust. For now we trust. For now, we trust. I go to shake her hand. I know where the last lodgedon is. Can I tell her? Muriel nods and you see...

I then tapos already knows. Muriel gives you a very... She had so many expressions across Muriel's face. As you explained to her, at first you see, maybe not, no, yeah, like madness, which gives way to frustration, which gives way to kind of like an acceptance of, okay, where bygones, be bygones were trusting each other now, to finally, when you say Tarpos already knows. Or maybe not, I've already told Tarpos, because, yeah, that makes more sense. To when you say that, Muriel gives like a dark smile like, ah, I see.

And then it's like, okay, Muriel does a big gesture. And she tells, sorry, Muriel, let's go over your hand. There's a big gesture of a bow. If you have need help, urgent help. And she plunges a hand into a pocket and produces a raven feather for you. You burn this. You must burn it. As you burn it, say a sentence and I will hear the sentence.

Thank you very much. I understand what it is like to trust or to put your trust in an entity that you feel conflicted about. I hope you're right. I guess maybe I hope you're wrong, actually. I hope we don't have to fight two dark lords. I hope you're wrong, but I hope you're right. I look at her in a very kind of like forlorn sort of way just like, but I'm not.

She is coming and it will be bad. I don't know if Pyrin has mentioned this by the way, but he got the last reading. Did you know that? Pyrin did. Pip. Pipp. Pip did. Pip? Pip got the last reading.

He's already made a new friend. This is great news. A huge beetle. Why not? When you say huge beetle, I gesture with my hands. Like, I start the size of like a small plate. When you say a huge beetle. No, no, no, no, no.

She turns where Raven, turns half and half, so that she can flap a little bit above you and gesture at about like two meters tall. Right, right, right, right, right. Not just a beetle, a beetle man? Kind of just a beetle Right It's really not

No man Just beetle And they are They were readings They were readings that Madame Eve gave him and not a joke A readings, yes And not a joke

And not a joke as far as I can tell Well it is good that Well to be honest It is good that Pip has faith Muriel Muriel understand actually the implications of everything that's been said.

And she also doesn't mention that she is one of the ones that... Yeah, that's... ...that's a little bow and then turns and flies away. As a reg... Oh, do you have something else you want to say? I just say, oh, before you go, I'm... Apparently I will have an audience with the paladins at Argonvostalt. She... You can see she was about to like...

take wing, she stops and turns back. Did they say why? Not say why. They just want an audience. I have some information I can give you about them. They could be powerful allies of ours, but understand this, they will care nothing of butcher and nothing of the boucher's incursion.

Yes, they were once good men like yourself. But... Let that one slide. That was maybe an unintentional slide That's good stuff But this place This land it's twisted and turned them They are dark, pale imitations

Of what they once were They are all of them Consumed with a hatred They care nothing Except for the destruction of the devil They will hear no argument about anything else. They have no interests besides this. Or certainly not their leader.

If we play our cards right, Muriel, we can just topple two regimes within hours. That would be quite the coup. But yes, be careful. Do not travel there alone. they if they even if they even suspect if they and you should probably not mention some of the things that you have told us but if they even suspect that you might not be wholly against the devil they will strike you down where you stand rather than let's anyone live who might do anything other than fight him

Okay. Well, thank you very much. I might, I hold up the feather, might be burning this sooner rather than later. Wow, good luck. Likewise. She turns and takes flight as a raven. Right. Back to Castle Ravenloft. You head back as you approach. The drawbridge is lowered for you. I guess a couple things I really always want to do in Castle Ravenloft. One is kind of just check on Gretchen to see if how she is and if she wants to go,

if she's up for a ride to Argen Vostalt. But I don't know if that's better or worse for her. And also, again, I don't know if just leaving her in Castle Ravenloff, because again, even though like, hey, Strad is being this sort of like, right now I'm not trying to fight him. But at the same time, I don't really want to leave Gretchen alone there. What if she gets eaten? What if she does?

I don't know. So one, it would be nice to like, yeah, check in on Gretchen to see how the hangover is going. Two, I kind of am still curious about Alf. I know that apparently, you know, she's being worked on, et cetera. But again, I've got like only, you know, the word of Rahadend that she's being looked after. But I do know that I need to get to Argonvostalt as well. And also I've got to talk to Tapos because... old mate

cavern dishes there with you get a lot of stuff on the old docket there so I guess Orvoop is check on Gretchen see how she's going, see if she's up for a

travel Gretchen's up she's sitting up and you see she's eating some of the pastries and drunk some of the coffee she quite clearly has a headache but when you offer to ride out, she stands up and she seems to be seized with an energy. Fantastic. Look, I have a couple of

things I need to do, but within hopefully the hour, you will head. I'll start getting ready now, she says. I'll find us some horses. Thank you. The faster, the better. She starts, she started quite a tilt towards her door, and then after a few steps, you see she touches her forehead, and then a bit slowly now she walks towards, well, walks out of her room. and ultimately, probably, you assume, towards the stables. Next order is, I guess, inquire about elf? If you ask someone, they direct you to Rahadin's office, which is there's a bunch of offices on one of the upper floors.

There's a bunch of offices next to each other. You see name plates on doors. It's like an office area. You see name plates on doors, Rahaddin, and there are a couple of other ones as well. There'd be probably like title. At Rahadins one is executive assistant. You see a accountant and a lawyer. That is a lawyer?

Yeah. Okay. Barovian law. It's the most complicated law there is. Okay. Is Rahadan in? Yeah, Rahdin's in his office. His door's probably slightly ajar.

You could see him sitting at a desk writing. I knock and... Please come in. He gestures to the seat on the other side of his desk. Thank you. won't be too long. I just would like to check in on an Alf, I guess the lack of a better word companion, see how she is going. She sleeps. She is in a magically induced coma. The master has done what he can thus far, but the project has been stalled due to his

illness. Is there anything I can do to help? Perhaps there is, I understand, a man working for you, distant from here, but with some expertise. Right, the engineer, Arnold. Arnold Rimpler. You know it was with R. Yes, Arnold Rimpler. Yes, that would be a good. idea. Thank you, Rahadden. I just go up to, like, get up, like, yep. Thank you, yes.

Is there anything else? No, I think I'll be gone for a while. You are, of course, welcome to come and go as you please. Thank you. I step up and not often. May I, before you leave, ask a but a simple question. Yes. Would you be as these? And Rahadin gives you an unpleasant look. Like he doesn't like these people.

The Kandani's have requested office space. Would you mind if I gave them yours since you have not yet used it? I have office space. Rahadin shows you too. A nameplate has already been made. You see, actually, no, because you hesitated with the contract. You can see there isn't space for a nameplate, but it's blank.

It's actually blank right now. Beneath it, it says, assistant to strad. Yes, they can have the office. It's basically just a desk and two chairs. You can see there's, oh, no, and some storage. There's like some drawers and stuff like that, but there's nothing in. It's not been stocked at all. Yes, you can, they can have the,

office. Yes. Excellent. I would have offered mine, but I use it quite a lot. Yes, no, that would make sense. Right. I have a, I guess the contract from them. Do I need to give it to the IJAS?

It's like the lawyer office. You may file it however you deem necessary. Right. Would you like to, there is a locked box in my room, or the lawyer's room, or I was about to say you could store it in your office, but I suppose you can no longer. I hand it to Rahadan. I will keep it safe for you.

Thank you very much, Rahadan. Have you considered who you will assign as your assistant? I could draft several suggestions. Sure, that would be wonderful. Thank you. I will have them ready for your return. Thank you. Do you know how long you shall be gone?

Maybe a week. Quite some time. Yes. A word of caution before you leave. If you intend on dealing with the last of the lodestones, perhaps don't go alone. There are. And then Rahdin gives a really fucking creepy smile.

many dangerous schools about and then he closes the door behind him he's a creepy guy an assistant why as you

as you turn around you see a bunch of clerks in Cantonese uniforms carrying stacks of paper they nod politely to you as they pass nice to see you yes hello again Yes, okay. Right.

I'll head up to the roof again and try to open a channel of communication to TARPOS. You, you, great question. How's she feeling about you right now? Not so super hot, I imagine. I came for the last lowest. I don't know what I've done. I'm trying.

You're doing your best, you know? Can't blame you for that. That's all we can ask. Tarpos says what? Sorry, I don't, I do not mean to offend you. I don't really know what I've done and I just want to apologize if I've offended you in any way, shape or form. We both speak for trees, for land, cannot speak because people stupid. I nod like I know what she's meaning.

What you have done, bad. Sorry. These people, they come, take. Right. They don't give. You have upset land. Can they do anything to not upset that? Can they make an appeasement?

Go away. Is there any... Must leave. Close whole. Right, right. If there was, is there any compromise here? No. She says, they will destroy land.

People forced out. They will destroy it? Yes. How will they destroy it? Take. They take. Can you not? She gets really frustrated.

I'm sorry, sorry. Maybe this is a better conversation in person. Is Cavendish with you and Arnold? Who? The engineer. Oh. Yes. Yes.

want to talk? Yes. Tapos turns away as if she's talking to... Oh, once again, you feel like you're standing next to each other in the woods somewhere. Tapos turns away like they're standing right behind her. He wants to talk to you. Yes, now. Put on pants.

Goodness me. She waits. Okay. I go now. You wait here. they come talk. Think about what you've done. I will.

Tarpos steps back and disappears. A moment later, you see as Cavendish and then Arnold Rimpler appear. Now this is highly irregular. Arnold Rimpler looks around the space.

Don't said Arnold Rimple to tree realm. What do you have to handle it? It's too much of his brain. Thank you for talking with me. What did you do? Tapos is furious. I'm actually going to ask you this question.

So I'm, I guess the Cantonese I spoke to an Admiral Cutter. John Cavendish gives you a really shocked expression. You spoke with, did you get, and he asked

if you could, wow, and he asked if he could have access to Borovia. Yes. Wow. Huh. So, um, right. What you've done is in my past, but it's my recent past.

Right. Okay. So this is all going according to plans. Yes. Wow. You're a founding member of the Barovian Electric Company. That word again. Electric. He used that word. Yes. It's a, um, uh, how do I describe it? I assume you're aware of thunder and lightning. Yes. Electricity is like a controlled version of it. You could imagine thunder and lightning is being almost like wild magic,

whereas electricity is like what a wizard or sorcerer does. Right. Well, that seems good. You... Yes. Yes. Well... Huh.

So that is... So they hear one reason. really is there is an incursion happening. There's other dark realm places around. I don't know how to quickly fill people up on speed here. There's other neighboring nations, shall we say, that the walls are thick. It's hard to... Bortchre.

Yes, Bortchard. I can probably furnish Cavendish once you're done. Fantastic. So them, they are, and I kind of... I guess if I'm wearing a horse... I always just like just take it down like gestitutes the face. Yes. So I was experimented on quite extensively by Lady Baritzi.

Neither of them seem very, it's not like they're not like, whoa. Neither of them at seeing you seem to think it's a huge deal. Not that. Maybe that's the wrong way of phrasing it. You're just not phased? It's not even necessarily that they're not phased. Everyone else who is seeing you, there's been like a, whoa, this is something I've never experienced. before and also this is a terrible thing that was inflicted upon you.

These two, John Cavendish and Arnold Remplar, both are like, oh, this is a terrible thing that's well, no, the engineer gives you nothing. Sorry. John Cavendish is, John Cavendish has an expression of like, this is a terrible thing that has been inflicted upon you, but it doesn't shock him. It's not surprising to him. Okay. So she experimented me on me for months, and she's coming here to take the land and the people and experiment on them. And I am very concerned that if someone like that gets her hands on the Amber Temple, I don't know what that means for the rest of the realms. So we're a mounting defensive operation before we launch. That is my...

Partly because the lodestones, the cleansing and the weakening of them, the weakening strad. And with the weakening, I think the barrier between is also weakening. So the moment it is cleansed, shall we say, I don't think we'll have much time before Barizzi comes in. So the idea is, wait, are we doing the lodestone then Baritzie? I believe the lodestone will open up the gateway allowing Baritsi to come in, which is then when we have to defend this land. All right, here's what we'll do. This is also annoyingly a theory.

Well, here's the plan. As I see it, I will meet you, myself and, um, Mr. Rempler here, we will write out, we'll meet you as close as we can to Castle Ravenloft or wherever. We will convene with whatever allies

were able to assemble and we'll begin some sort of plan of meeting them as they appear. The mountainous wooden terrain probably wouldn't favor

us So we might want to find some... Look, I'll ride out to meet you, and then I'll discuss with Remplor if he knows more about this. And then... All I know is that they are coming from the north. The Cantonese army has sent roughly around

about 2,000 of their soldiers. Right. The Rade's army is about 3 to 400 strong. Couture is sending 200. Adventures in Guards, 100 each. And Kresik is... sending about 250-odd soldiers. So we do have at least some strength there.

Valakai probably, I mean, they've been absolutely destroyed, but we can probably count on their assistance as well. Yes. Word is reaching even us. People are talking about Bergamast or Mandarin. A lot has happened in this, in my absence. Yes. Valakai is pretty enam. with him right now. I just heard

he got a reading from Madame Evo. And apparently he's already made a friend. A big beetle, I'm led to believe. Cool. Nice to hear that yeah. All right.

We'll try to convince Tarpos as well. She's probably going to want to ride off towards the, well, she's already keen to ride off towards the lodestone as quickly as she can. We might be able to convince her to part with her host of druids, we'll take them and move as quickly as we can to meet you. Right. Well, I'm my, so there is a, some undead paladins I'm going to meet in Arden

Boston. I've heard of them, yeah. So apparently they have requested a meeting with me. Well, that's good because I wasn't sure actually how we were going to get to you in time. So if you head towards us, we'll meet you on the way. Fantastic. And I believe that is near the lodestone and there, Strad's mother is apparently guarding that area.

I don't know what to do with that information. Neither do I, but there it is. All right, so the plan is we all congregate, and you tell him where to find it. Well, the plan is then we all will congregate at this location, and then we have our, whatever we have out, whatever we're going to have out. Yes.

I suppose the only thing remains to be done is to try and get a message to Pip such that he can slow Elaniel down, hopefully. Well, they're calling him the general Mandarin again, so perhaps he still has some level of sway. Pip. Mm-hmm. Thestriel's temple, it doesn't collapse down to nothing. It feels more like it becomes smaller, slighter. It's hard for you to peg exactly what happened, but when it's, done, it looks, it looks no smaller and yet it feels tiny now.

Do you need me to carry that? She shakes her house. You just have no hand, so she's asking. Would it be rude to put a saddle on them? I feel yes. It's like, oh, no, but Pip doesn't know how to ride horses, little of unicorns. Thastrial turns and begins wandering out of the forest. Okay, I'll come with it.

She looking at you You had such a serene expression on your face That's why Not Pip obviously, but me Jackson She looking at over at you Seems to be considering you Something on your mind Astrial

Um Not yet Okay Um, all right Well yeah we head back to Valachi and the Blue Water Inn I guess By the time you get back, it's nighttime. You need not light a lantern, though, as Thastriel sheds a soft white light all around her.

Do you find that you are in any way, I say to Thastriel diminished by Barovia? Hector, who maybe you're aware of, I'm sure you are, he sort of was losing his connection while we were together to whatever for the gods, Pena. And I mean, I don't know how unicorns work, but do you find yourself in a similar position? Deep blue eyes look at you, and she says, When one understands their own nature, they cannot be diminished by outside forces. Did Hector understand his own nature? Now, that is a good question, Thestriel. Many wonder their entire lives at their nature.

Yeah. It's so funny talking to a horse. It's really, you're like, with blue eyes, and I'm like, wow, like, beautiful blue eyes with it. I'm like, on a horse's face, like, face to face with a horse, that's just funny. That's a funny... Is it very similar to, like, when you're having a conversation with this horse, and it's, like, a telepathic guy conversation? It's just, if you were on an outsider looking at you... I like you saying that, like, it's a thing that commonly happened.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a classic telepathic horse conversation. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of similar to, too, to when, like, you know, we got to see the beautiful film that was Eragon, where it was just like the titular Eragon, where he's that the guy or the dragon. Aragon is the guy. Okay, Eragon talking to, his name sounds like dragon's name.

Okay, anyway. What an incredible. The dragon's name, I forget her name. And he thinks it begins with an S. Let's say Sapphire. It might be. Let's do that. So, again, a novel, it's like you see this kind of neat.

But then when they put it to film, it was just a lot of people standing around while they just sort of like looked at it. Yeah, yeah, bugging at each other. That's what I kind of imagined like a... Like, I think maybe, like, Eragon might be talking, but then the reply is just only they could hear it. So I'm just curious to be like...

Pip talking out loud. Yeah, well, I'm saying, yeah. With Pip talking out loud, if I was at an onlook or observing, does this look like, could I hear at a distance a telepathic whisper, like, you know, the conversations? Like, you know, as in, like, I'm hearing someone at a distance having conversation,

or am I hearing nothing? Like, is there telepathy, like, direct, or is it location-based, is what I'm asking. Because one of those is very stupid and funny. It's direct. Yeah, cool. That man's just talking to a horse. A horse with a horn.

That's glowing. But he's still just talking to a horse. As you and Thastriel emerge into the clearing before Valakai, she stops. Wait a second. Couldn't I have, I was having conversation with my horse as well. Was that also telepathic? Was I looking like a fool this whole time? It would have been, yes.

You would have been talking in, whenever I imagine the horse telepathying to you, I imagine in that, like, you know when you go to the 0.5 camera and you go like really close to the horse's head, so it kind of looks ridiculous and goofy. That's what I'm imagining. Wow. Fatali? If you would. We ask so much of you for Tali.

Go on, Adam. Astrial looks over at you again and you stare into those deep blue eyes. You get the, every time you, every time she looks directly at you like this, you get the, you get the feeling of yourself, of your soul being turned inside out. Not in an unpleasant way, but more in like a, you wouldn't even dare lying to her. It feels, it feels like a crime to lie to this creature. She, you're not a lie, I think. No, but it's just to being near this much obvious goodness. You know, for a man with someone red on his ledger.

Pip. Yeah. I have something I wish you to consider, to think over. I cannot travel with you into Valakai. It is a place unhallowed for me. That would make sense. Yeah. But in time, I will speak to Elaniel and to the rest of the dust gals.

I want your help. In what sense? This place, this land is nothing for them. No good. This is true, yeah, I agree. Salted earth that they continue to try to grow crop in that will never bear fruit. Leave it to the druid, did I say? I want you to help me lead them.

Away from here, somewhere else, a new homeland. Do you have a destination in mine? That is where I thought you could help. Right. Okay. You know, I suppose more than any group of people here in Borovia, I owe them a pretty great debt. But I tell you what, it's going to be very difficult to convince them. You know, this is their home. It's where they grew up. It's where they're raised. I mean,

I agree with you, Thestriol. You know, I don't think there's any point in sticking around here. I mean, what are you fighting for? Not good land. There's nothing nice in Brovia, but it'll be pretty difficult to convince them. So you're telling me that you could, if I can think of a place, you could get them there? Yes. That's pretty big. She does the telepathic equivalent of a smile as well, which happened when you said that you owe them more than anyone else here. But she doesn't say anything about it. I have a friend, Danica.

I don't know if you know of her, you know of the others maybe. She's never seen constellations before. And inside your temple, they're pretty visible. Would she be able to come in just to have a look? Of course. I'll let her know. That'll make her very happy. I believe we intend to try and find the next lodestone.

I believe that's where we're going next. I mean, God knows where it is, but that's the plan. Will you accompany us? Yes. Okay, that's good. Do you kill? A unicorn cannot kill. Nor can they allow death around them.

Okay. Well, that's something. That's something. and not for me I don't know how to ride horses but if somebody needed to you know rest their legs

would you perhaps cribbed it is not something I allow lightly that makes a lot of sense that makes a lot of sense in an event of need you saw that I ask okay that's good to know

okay would you like me to send anybody else out to talk to you? No Well, not alone. When you speak to Elaniel next, I would like you to ask if she has time to come out and meet me. I can do that. After speaking with her, we shall speak to some of the leaders of the dusk elves. Why the dusk elves specifically?

I mean, I know they of anyone are in need of a homeland, but why is this a project of yours? It is Not for me to understand completely One of those things I believe I am a spirit of this Right, you'd be like an angel, I suppose Something of a guardian angel to the dust elves Is that why you're here?

Perhaps, she says But Unicorns are drawn to good heart Well, it's not much of that in Brovia I think perhaps I was summoned here by yours. Oh, God. Well, I hope for your sake, that's not the case. All right, I'll go chat to Elaniel and see if she has time to come and talk to you.

You should be kind to yourself. She turns and walks away. Horses. Too busy worrying about me, not worrying about getting eaten by druids. Exactly. But I always say. Those druids will eat her alive, dude. I'm concerned for when top

Osano druids come. All right, I'll turn around and head back into Valakai through the gate. And I guess back to the Blue Water Inn. Yeah, how do I find? I mean, I guess it's nighttime. Is everybody asleep? Am I, like, that late?

Well, actually, as you're walking through Valachi, if you encounter anyone, guards will give you, like, a respectful nod as you walk through the street. Yeah, hello. And people will take their hats off as you pass. Please don't doff in. anything.

Okay. Keep the doffing to a minimum. You get back to the blue water in and find it cold and empty. There's a note on the door saying that everyone's at the orphanage right now. Oh, okay. Specifically addressed to you. Cool. I'll, uh, yeah, read it and then head to the orphanage.

The orphanage has seen the blue water in, it's a kind of, you wouldn't call it four walls and a roof anymore. You'd call it one wall, some load-bearing poles on a roof, right? now. So the orphanage is a much, it's a warm place to be. Have they started setting up out the front of the orphanage because I said like, hey, let's think about maybe planting the seed here. We'll wait till Muriel comes back to double check. That's okay. But like, that's an idea. Have they started setting up for that out the front of the orphanage as I walk over?

You, probably not. They don't really know necessarily what to do. Okay, that's, that's good. I was scared they were going to jump the gun and I was going to get there and the seed was going to be already buried and I was going to get in trouble from Muriel. You can see there's some like shovels, but that's it. Good start. Hey. Good start, guys. Yeah, I'll enter the orphanage.

The doors to the orphanage are open. Light and warmth are spilling out. As you step in, you can see everyone is here. And there, it feels almost like a scene out of some sort of children's Christmas movie, where all the orphans are in several of the different classrooms. And you can see all the members of your party are here, as well with all the additional hangers-ons and everyone like crib is yeska there with the dog and with with no tongue dog yes yesker is there with dog nice i'm glad he survived that's good to hear

he's sitting in a he's sitting cross-legged the largest of a group of many children watching cribbit play of uh play a violin and sing a slow not sad tune just like a slow melody okay nice uh i'll yeah find somewhere to sit that's not occupied and sit. You can see Tiny's sitting on a, like, a teeny tiny little children's chair, as many children crawl over him. Is he like completely? I mean, he doesn't have expressions. Very expressionless.

Yeah, that's great. In fact, as you step in, no, sorry, not in fact, but as you step in and he cites you, Tiny suddenly stands up and a couple of kids, not in like they're going to get hurt way, but a couple of kids go careening around. One kid hanging off his horn is thrown around Does he come over to me? No, he just stands up as you step in You can sit down tiny, it's fine

Tiny sits back down Okay, strange Is there, um Yeah, like somewhere for me to sit? Yeah, there's plenty. There's, uh, Claudia is sitting at a adults Adults chair And an adult's table with some of the other people here

You can see also sitting at the table Is Iona And who else would be here? Ayona and Woken are sitting there. You can see they've got some tea in front of them. They pull out a chair for you. I sit down. Iona pours you a cup.

I take a sip, but I'm kind of like lost in thought. It was a unicorn. Everyone sitting at the table stops for a moment. Yeah, I know. I like reach into my like coat and I pull out the unicorn tarot card or tarotica card, and I place it on the table. It's our unicorns a powerful ally, Woken says. Yeah. She said, Thestriel is her name. She said she's not going to kill, but she won't allow anyone to be killed. So I think that's a net positive. Powerful ally who we can't have in a fight.

No, yeah, well, I was thinking the same thing. But again, if she can heal us, then that's good, because I tell you what, in Borevia, we need that almost more than any. Anyone can hold a knife. Anyone can slid a throat. It's like, she's like, I don't kill. I don't like to be others to be killed. So you're there. All right, no, you're out of here.

Like, you stab someone. Hmm, they healed them. Okay. They stab you. They heal you. Oh, come on. This is a problem. It's going to be, we're going to have to knock people out.

We got some news for you as well, Pip. Okay. There's been a while you were away. There was a short emergency meeting. No, no sort of council around here. It's a, it's not, well, like I was saying before, there's no one here to lead Valachi anymore, which is what the council was about.

Okay. Just a bunch of prominent townsfolk. Pretty unanimous. Everyone at the table shifts a little uncomfortably. Pip, they want you to be Berger Master. So you're telling me they elected me and I wasn't even there, basically? Yeah. Okay.

That's, I mean, like, you all, I like, look at everyone, you all see the many problems with this, right? You look around the table and you see, while everyone at the table understands what you're saying, there's like a, how could I? I mean, one, once we find out the location of the next lodestone, I'll be gone from here. And I can't very well lead from the woods east of north, of south of Velikai. we've thought about that, Pip. And the camera is quickly cut down to a small orphan child, like, tugging on Pips

like pant leg and we'll say But so, because you've got a good heart. Batten away. Oh my God, I'm sorry. Don't just sneak up and be like a shit myself. We've thought about that, Pip. You could elect one of

us. Someone, just anyone, part of the group. It could even be Cavendish. He's got a bit of of experience with these matters. People like me, you could pick me. People like Crivet. You could pick Cribbit. Keenig says that. And there's an implicit

understanding that Cribut is not going to be selected. It's rude not to bring him up. Iona. People like Iona and she's got some experience of this sort of stuff. You could pick Hale Pipp. You could pick Muriel when she gets back. Yeah. Or Claudia or

any other number of people. You got a lot of people to pick, I suppose. Right, right, yes. But it is my decision, I guess. It would be kind of stupid not to take this position. It's very advantageous for us. Yeah, no, I see what you mean. I see what you mean.

Okay. And when are they expecting a decision to people of Valachi? Oh, no, sorry, Pippi. It wasn't, it's not like that. You are, but Progen Master. Oh. Okay.

well, I never really sort of saw myself as somebody who's going to have a career in politics. That's sort of not where I imagined I would end up. I suppose I will have to pick somebody and, oh my God, I think about just like how destroyed Valachi is and how much work is going to go into, you know, like rebuilding. Okay. Do they expect an address? Are they like, you can play it however you want, Pip. we'll stand behind you, no matter what. There's another thing as well.

The Creswick is, well, words spread around to a bunch of different places, but the Burgermaster and Cresc wants to talk to you. Borgia master to Burgermaster. This is another thing that you could just send someone else for. Right. They couldn't come here, could they? Well, you could ask that. Yeah, okay, okay. Have we got anything to drink it's stronger than the tea?

Keening from underneath his poncho produces a flask and he pours something into your drink. I have a long, just like the tea's full and I drink it all in one go, you know, like, I put it back down. Whoa. Right, yeah, let's get the Burjim Master of Krezik. here, I think that's probably a good idea. Because I'm not going all the way back to Krasik, and I don't think I want to waste any of you sending you effectively backward.

I'm not interested in doing that. Let's get him or an emissary if he doesn't want to come himself. Claudia speaks up. I would be probably the best person for you to pick in your stead, as I wouldn't be able to come with you anyway on account of having to run the orphanage. And so long as you provided some just direction, I could do things in your stead, negotiate in your stead.

I was thinking maybe you and Danny together. She nods. Maybe she calls Danica over who sits down. You can tell Danica's already had a drink. She claps a hand on your shoulder and says, Berger Master. I know, Danny. Don't make fun of me.

An honor. I never thought I would meet someone that's famous and well, well, well, Danny. In my stead, I was just saying to Claudia, I'll have the two of you actor's burgomaster Co-vice Bergermaster Sure

Whatever you call yourself For you to appoint Not just one woman But two women Yeah You're like my friends in town Oh Promoting friends I see

Best not tell anyone About this nepotism Well also you Shut up Thank you Danica laugh Shut up Shut up, Danny.

I've got a fucking thing. Okay. Where's Elaniel? They look around and you can... Maybe it's Claudia who kind of leans over her chair and you see... So this quote unquote party is spread over three different classrooms. There's a fourth classroom you can see where Elaniel is sitting quietly meditating on her own. Okay.

None of the kids are approaching her. You don't think that's a racism thing? You think, Elenial's giving off, don't fucking annoy me. Don't come in, grab my clothes and cover my hair kids. I got to talk to Elaniel. And then, in the morning, we can figure out what the fuck needs to be done for Velikai. I mean, it's more than just saying, don't use the cursed tree to build your houses. You know, there's more going on.

Do we expect Muriel back soon? They look at each other. Well, it doesn't take too long to, as the... Ravenflies get to ask about the seed. I just need to know if we can get started on that. Depending on how long the conversation was, she'd hopefully be back sometime later tonight. Okay, all right.

I got to chat to Elaniel, but Danica, come with me. I'll stand up and stop. Danica gives you a very quizzical look, but stands up with you and heads over. As we're walking over, I say, I mean, a bit weird, but the unicorn had like a kind of, I suppose you'd call it like a pocket dimension.

I don't know. A little piece of not Barovia that can exist. within Borovia and when I was in there I saw the blue sky like quite a rarity as I say that I think about the fact that I saw it to for my perspective not like three days ago yeah but it was a cold blue sky you know it wasn't as nice as in the unicorns temple and I asked and a Thestrial that's the unicorn they say that you can also see the stars at night the constellations and I put in a request and if it's something

you'd like to do you can see those constellations sooner rather than later. You put in a request a request from a burgomaster for little old me. She stops for a second gives you a very serious look and says careful Pip Mandarin

I she like she grabbed you turned you around a little bit and gives you a good look if I didn't know any better I'd say there was maybe some sort of good heart in here. That's the rumor, I'd say. That's the rumor.

All right, I need to chat to Elaniel. Thank you, Danny. I, like, you know. When you went to the classroom, one of Alainiel's eyes opens. I do like a little knock knock on the door and step inside. She stands up as you enter. I don't mean to bother you, but it's something I have to talk to about. Something sort of serious.

She looks at you. She's very curious. She looks at you. And then she walks past you and closes the door. Nothing bad, I don't think. It's actually probably pretty good. So the person in the woods that I was to speak to was a unicorn, which I'm sure has quite a lot of significance for you.

Elaniel looks at you like she can't believe what you're saying. I have no proof, but I mean, the unicorn Thestriel, they do want to talk to you. So, I mean, you will. Yeah. Do you know them? Yes. They are, Thastriel is important to my people. Like a guardian angel. Yes.

That's their words, not mine. That would be accurate. Right. Had you not said that name, I might have thought this some terrible prank. I wouldn't do that. Are you kidding me? Anyway. Thastriel is.

It's hard to describe, like a children's tale. Well, she's real, and she's in the woods right now. She can't come into Velikai for obvious reasons. It's a shithole. A unicorn cannot cross the barriers of the city. That makes sense as well. It's like, yucky. It's so funny, you were just like, yeah, she thinks it's a shithole.

Yeah, it's gross. I wouldn't want to step here either. It's a bad town. Well, I mean, I don't really know how to say this. You know it, and I know it ever since you tried to kill me in the Blue Water Tavern. But did I owe you and your people? Pretty great debt. And, well, Thestriel is interested.

Is interested in helping you find a new homeland if you're amenable to that. And she's given me the rather onerous task of picking where. and now I'm not Daskelf, obviously, and I wouldn't want to make that decision for you and your people, but I just wanted to let you know. And I guess if you're amenable to that idea, if you could give me some pointers for a place. Elaniel is quiet for what feels like a really long time,

and you go through a bunch of different thoughts. I'm like, wincing like, she's going to stab me for some reason. It feels like, it feels like, I'm, She's never been pricklier. And then the tension builds, builds, builds, builds, builds. It reaches a rubber band stretching, breaking point. And then it shatters, but in not the way you were expecting. Elaniel lets out a great...

And she covers her mouth, and you can tell that she started crying. Her eyes water and well, and then bawling. Fills filled with tears She wraps her arms Around you and cries into your shoulder There, there Hat pat on the back Shut up

Fickled Bickle