D&D is For Nerds - Barovia IV #33 A Short Detour to the Town of Barovia

Episode Date: March 21, 2026

To the Attention of Rahadin,I understand you are making a shortlist for potential assistants for me to look through peruse when I return, however would like to put forward my own recommendation. I apologise if you’ve already put in the work but I have rather unexpectedly ran into a trusted friend from my homeland here, in Castle Ravenloft. The man whom whomst that handed youIt is with a warm heart that I recommend Harvey Hancock for the position of my Personal Assistant. Mr Hancock has proven himself time and time again to be reliable, good-natured, and sharp of mind and wit. I believe he is more than suited to the role, and I trust him to represent my interests with care and discretion.I ask that you receive this letter as formal notice of his appointment, and extend to Mr Harvey Hancock the same courtesies afforded to those who serve in good standing. With respect and gratitude,HecktLightbringerKnight of the CAssistant to StrahdPS If this is a paid position and it is possibly, could Harvey have his first pay in advance? Or take it from my.. is my position paid? Sorry, I should have asked about this before. Please disregard this PSIf you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oi, lads, did you miss out on the Jaron's Outpost Kickstarter and wish you weren't such a big doofus? Well, fear not. Late pledges are now open and they'll be open for a little while, so just head to Kickstarter search for D&D for Nerds or Jaron's Outpost and slam that late pledge button. I've known many evil places in my time, but this realm, called Borovia, is among the most dangerous. A man could drown here, though he wouldn't need any.

water to do so. This place is ruled by a man, no, more a creature, actually, known as Strad von Zarovich. It is said that anyone who can slay him will be set free, if they don't die in the attempt, of course. When you went to the classroom, one of Elaniel's eyes opens. So, the person in the woods that I was to speak to was a unicorn, which I'm sure has quite a lot of significance for you. Bastriel? Yeah. Do you know them? Yes.

They are... Thestriel is important to my people. Like a guardian angel. Yes. That's their words, not mine. That would be accurate. Well, she's real, and she's in the woods right now. She can't come into Velikai, for obvious reasons.

It's a shithole. But... A unicorn cannot cross the barriers of a city. That makes sense as well. Thestriel is interested. is interested in helping you find a new homeland if you're amenable to that. Eyes filled with tears. She wraps her arms around you and cries into your shoulder.

There, there. Pat, pat on the back. Shut up. Fair call. Fair call. It feels like she just needed someone to lean on. Could have been anybody, for sure. And then breaking away.

from you, she kind of straightens herself up, I must speak with Iona. She turns and leaves. Of course. Of course. Of course. Just left in the classroom by myself. Um. Iona and Alainiol come back into the classroom. If you're like, I've like had a moment of myself and I got to open the door and they step in. Oh, okay. Elaniel closes the door and you could see, she's already told Iona. Yeah. The two of them embrace and cry and kiss. They're, like, happy and sad. As I'm standing there, like, maybe at some point I go to, I'm like, oh, this is a private moment, and I step towards the door.

And I'm assuming they're like, no, no, no, stay. I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah, literally, they're, like, locked in an embrace as you reach for the door, and Elaniel slams her hand on the door to keep it shut. You're watching this. Sit in the chair. Well, if they'd slam the door, I at least just turn around and face a wall. Till they're done. Weird horny dust, girls.

They have a time of grief and mourning, and then sadness, moving into happiness and joy, and then, like, a desire to see the future. And then Iona finally. PIP Yes, I turn back around Tell me everything Hector You're wandering back into the castle grounds Where would you like to go?

Well, I think this would be grabbing Gretchen Yeah And then we're going to head to Agen Vostalt, yeah Agam Vost. I'm going to head to these Agingostold, yeah

We're going to head to these paladins And presumably meet up with I guess Caval, yeah Because we arrange to meet up with Cavend dish I guess the host there because Argen Vostalt was near where the Lodestone was.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. If you head straight to the stables, you see Gretchen there with two mares. She's already collected. Excellent. I don't think there was anything else I needed to do. No, not really. You already alerted everyone that you were leaving.

Yeah, I guess just collect any kind of like cold weather gear, cold weather, whatever it might be. And then, yeah. Yeah, I think you're pretty prepared. You say goodbye to like, you know, I think you might even have Cold weather gear.

Mm. Yeah. Also, I am loving picturing you had two mayors and I'm loving picturing like two two guys with like big sashes. Yeah. What my bad boy? Oh, frigging. All mayors are poorly in my head.

Oh, absolutely. I agree. Gretchen, you got everything you need? Yes, I have saddle bags. Saddles. I start realizing what's happening, I'm realizing, oh, she's gone, just like, she's gone on squire mode, and then I go quickly go, right, and then basically make it a drill almost to be, like, or a drip, like, you know, a stern drill to be like, oh, right, yes, cool, what do we need? And, like, you remember, you're squiring. Yeah, yeah, you, as you have never had a squire, you've, this is maybe the first time you've done this, I assume you've never had a squire.

Correct. Yeah, yeah. You, this is the first time you've done this, but having been, you, you, this is the first time you've done this, but having been. a squire, you certainly can drill her through the process. There's maybe like some friction when you mention an item that she does not know what is, because you existed in such different times. I guess, but I'm, uh, yes,

but I want to, I don't, I don't want to do what, I guess I'm imagining how we were a train slash was a squire. So, uh, nicely. Gently. If you do it nicely, she fucks it up. You got to do it hard. No, no, no. It's not. That's not this boy. Yeah.

She fucks it up and you dive thirst. Damn. Thanks for listening to Boy. It's been a fun few years. Yeah, I hope you had a good time. You run Gretchen through the drill. She fumbles with it a little bit, so it's good that you're kind to her. She seems to respond pretty well to that.

And you are, eventually you've got saddles, saddle bags, kit. water, food, grain for the horses, anything else you might need, lanterns, spare equipment, rope, anything, that sort of stuff. It's all loaded onto the horses, which you two then mount. As you're doing that, you glance every now and then, and you can see Pyrrhan dressed as a guard, just wandering back and forth outside the stables. I might just quickly, again, like, hail the guard, as it were, just to let you know that we're, we're, heading off to um does he

to know Argonvostalt or just he knows that I don't know I believe you know it's Argonvostalt we're heading off to Argan Vostalt

so we should have to be back within a week or so right is the plan for me to follow I think we're not being overheard

really we can just kind of like Kieran seems pretty confident that you're not being overheard um I think perhaps

you could check in on the Cantonese army themselves ingrain yourself in there see what is up, what are they doing. I'm beginning to think I should have a bit of, perhaps I should have erred more on the side of caution with Admiral Cutter. Well, the contract signed now, what can you do, I suppose?

I don't know how magical contracts work, but I assume they're not dissimilar to fiendish ones. Probably not. Once you've signed it, you're pretty much fucked. Perhaps. Do you know what the terms, if you wanted to be? break the contract all? No Rahadun has the contract

currently locked away so I was trying to see if you were used to contracts. Only killings, I believe, was the word you said. Yes. I was never very good at the contracts so I misspent youth sort of stuff.

Anyway, please continue. I like, uh-huh, okay. Perhaps check out the camp Tarpos seems to really not be happy with it. But their army is as strong as they say it is. Perhaps that army is all we need.

I like Tarpos. She's good for a laugh. But a useful, steady ally, I mean, wouldn't that be nice? Is it would? Imagine, you know, imagine. Anyway, I'll go check in on them. See what they're like. Well, we'll be heading off there.

Cutters left, by the way. through the hold that you made. He's no longer here. Right. I don't know who's in charge anymore. Right. Well, I suppose... I can look into that.

Apparently, Rahadin is also drafting up a list of assistance for me. Just remembered. I could always put your name forward, make it all official. Is it a paid position? Could be. He was planning his fusion. Probably. Decent super.

Yeah. 15%? Not bad. That's all right. Yeah, it's not bad, actually. Probably. I don't know. I just make sure it is, I suppose.

I mean, if you... You know, it's just the money would be useful to us. It would be Strad presumably paying us, right? I would just assume so, yes. Well, if you want, I could write your letter now and you could miss make it... You could just do that now while I'm in the way. Very quickly.

Yeah. Rahadin, definitely just a guy, right? Yes. Just a dusk elf. Because I feel so confident I've seen him move through the walls of the fucking castle. And I mean, a guy could do that. Yeah, I guess. I guess kind of anyone could just be a ghost.

Oh, right. So, I mean, like, you can blend into the shadows. I mean, like, he. No, no, I mean, like. Pier and there are wizards. I mean, like, here and there's, yes. He's, I've seen him breathe. Yeah.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, that's true. Honestly, the only ghost we've ever seen in this whole time we've been here was was in the orphanage. It was like a banshee thing. Hmm. Hmm.

And we are far away from that. Hmm. Mm. Mm. Not far enough. All right. I'm going to go check in on this Rahadin fellow. Yes.

Yes. Right. I'll write him in a, like a letter or something. Like a letter of like, you know, Rahadin. Like I understand you're putting together a list of like assistance. But this is my met. Do you want me to say, Pyrin? Give him the,

the name Harvey Hancock. It's a pen name I use sometimes. Right. I recommend. Harvey Hancock. Fair enough. And I guess I still have like a, I guess the symbol of penny around somewhere. And I would use that as like a signet. Yeah, nice. Sure. I either like roll it up or whatever, seal it and hand it to Pyrriron. Well, that should let you act in any sort of official capacity. So you don't have to. So I'm staying here. Yes. I guess. Keep abreast of everything that's happening here, especially with the Canaanese. I'm sure Muriel will...

things we need back and forth. Plus, I'm pretty sure you don't want to come with me to Argonfossitol. I would like... Oh, no, I'm going to stay here, not go see the ghosts in Goulders' Tower or whatever it's fucking cold.

Yes, stay here well behind the front lines where everyone is definitely not a ghost. And I get to deal with just... And the Kandese people. Yes, from our future. I love dealing with the Cantonese. They die when you stab them. Always a plus. Doesn't always happen out here.

It's true. They're easy to trick, he says. I'm like, hmm. Uh-huh. Anything else there? Racist. Racist against the Cantonese.

The letter for, like the correspondence from like the the the Agen Vostalt paladins. That was just like, they want to meet me, nothing else. Yeah, they want an audience. Yeah, cool. All right, well, good luck. If you find anything useful, useful or something we might need to know,

I guess you have your ways of getting in touch with Muriel? Yes, I'll send a Raven or something. I'll figure it out. Right, well. I always do. Godspeed. You don't have any money to get this. You know what, I'll use the pay.

Ask Raahaden. If it need be, you can come out of my... first paycheck. They've ever had a paycheck before. I don't think, I don't know if it would be a paycheck or if you're just given access to the treasury. Yeah, right. Yeah, we saddle up and we head out. Oh, one more thing.

Are you going to be checking on the township of Brovia? The only place you haven't been. Is it on the way? Not if you don't mind braving the forest, I suppose. if you take the path, it's not on the way, but if you go through the trees, yes. Speaking of, actually, in Strad's office, there's a map of the entire countryside. That's pretty detailed. It might be able to help you get through if you wanted to go straight there. Right. He'd probably just give it to you if you asked.

I was literally up until that point going to suggest you steal it, but he might just give it to you if you asked. Right, and you just reminds me of something. Okay, well, Gretchen, I'll be right back. I'm going to go get a map to help us on our way. Gretchen nods? I, well, good luck. As you walking away, you hear Gretchen say, who the fuck are you?

Fair enough. You had it to Castle Ravenloff proper. I presume I know the way to Strad's office. You can find it. I start, like, heading off towards that. Presumably, I mean, like, I don't know if Strad Alexe be in the office, but at least I know what it is. He's very sick right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's a do not disturb sign hanging on his door. Um. In the office. I just do a gentle knock. The, you gently knock and the door gently parts. I peer in. The room is dark inside, but you hear a voice from the bed. you immediately recognize the voice.

Oh, he's office his bedroom. All right, then. Yeah, it's one big long space, yeah. Hector. Yes, Stratt. I have come to ask if you have a map of Brovia that I could use. Yes. And give me but a moment.

But of course. You see the covers shift a little bit and Strad gets out of bed. you, with how little light there is, you can't see him very well. Even with your, do you still have dark vision? Don't even remember if you still do after all this that's happened to you. I'm presumably at least one of the eyes has dark vision. Sure. You have half dark vision, half not.

In your dark vision, the world becomes black and white. And you, in that black and white, the way that the shadows cast over strad makes him just, kind of an outline rather than an actual entity. Were you, if you needed to target Strad for an attack or a magical effect, you would hit him no problem. Excellent. But to actually make out details is difficult. You see just his outline and you can see how diminished his form is.

You realize he's not wearing a shirt as he gets up and you can see the bony protrusion sticking out of him. Yuck. He puts a shirt and then a night shirt and then a robe on and it covers completely that bony exterior. You can still, in his movement and the way that he talks, you can still tell that he is greatly diminished. But his physical weakness seems, or is just less noticeable. Okay. He shuffles past you and opens the door a little bit more for you.

Please. Did he come in? Yeah, cool. I step in. Yes, if I could have a map of Borovia and actually as also reminded, one of my, I guess, friends, compatriots, Jenda, I believe, was killed by a Gogh. She had on her a box. A book, yes, Hector, forgive me, in all this excitement.

I had neglected it. He wanders over to his study, and then from underneath a desk, he produces, you see, it's Yenders, her backpack, for lack of a better word, the chest that she would wear around her back. He rests it gently on the table, and then produces the mat, which he sets next to it. You may have, of course, this is, he puts a hand on the chest. Not mine. I merely was holding it safe for you. The map you do not need. I stop for a moment and then I just kind of flex that muscle that I don't really use or haven't really used a lot of.

Yeah. Do I sort of basically get a mini map? You can never get lost in Borovia. Whoa, that's awesome. Right, I don't need the map. Of course, Hector. How went your talk with Muriel? It went well, I think.

Good. Even though it is hard to get people together to for a common goal, it seems that maybe we might have enough people to push back Madame Boritzie. Yes, I hope so, Hector, for all our sex. Boritsi, I fear her designs. Me too. She is a monster. You may want Hector to beware.

He taps his hand a few times on the chest, on Yenda's chest. In time, the closer you come to this power, to vampire, the further you will stray from. the light. Should you continue down this path, Hector? There will come a time where to even be in the presence of these letters will cause you great anguish.

I look at the letters now and look at him. The chest is closed. Do you mean to open the chest? Oh, right. So that's what he's saying. I thought like just the presence was hurting him now to be like, you shouldn't be doing them. Yeah, put that down.

No, the chest is closed. So the chest is like, right. Well, at least maybe for now I can read them and be reminded. Yes, that would be good, Hector. The morning, Lord, he exists in all of us. It is important to remember this and to keep the spark alive. For now, at least. I reach forward and grab the gentleman.

like just bring it close maybe just about under my breath just like um light bringer we'll be back in a week or so hector i will tell you this as you leave i have done what i can to hold some or all of the monsters here at bay some obey me simply by my word some obey me from fear but there are creatures out there, creatures of other dark places or just of evil untamed. They will not grant you safe passage, should you wish to venture through the forests. And I include the knights of Agenvost. They are terrible people.

Well, they want an audience. Who am I to say no? he smiles and he says hector do as you will but you can tell them to go to hell if you want I'll keep that in right

I'd like to think I'm a little bit better with diplomacy than that he nods and then he shuffles back to his bed okay well without the map but with Yender's chest yeah um head on to the horses kind of guess yeah I guess you can strap the chest to the horse As you come back into the stables, Gretchen looks at the box and says,

what kind of map is that? Very sacred one. It is the sacred text to my order. Within this chest is the letters of between Penny and the gnomes. Ah, Gretchen nods. She immediately understands. She knows what this is. A friend of mine.

She passed away. Well, it was hers. It belonged to her. We will hold her holy reliqui, our holy reliqui, aloft in her name. Yes, we will. I are kind of like, like, look like, like look fetching up and there and to be just kind of like, they're going to make a very good paladin. Someday, she says.

Maybe today. Let's go. All right, you set off towards the town of Barovia? Yes. Okay. You're riding, oh, you, it would be like, um, no, It wouldn't actually be nighttime until about when you get to Borovia. Okay.

So, as you're riding into the township of Borovia, you can see that there are many lights on in the many different buildings. Unlike Krezik or Valakai, you can see that the township of Borovia has no walls to protect itself from incursion, either because they are confident in no incursion, or they don't see the point. Yeah, there are not. You're not sure. Either way, there's no one to stop you, no walls, you just ride into town. There are many lights. The town is divided into four main streets. Going east to west, there's one huge major road with three also major roads intersecting it,

and then many smaller roads out and about. But that is the majority, or the lay of the land is one major road east to west, three major roads north-south. You can see over on one end, there's a hill rises up in the northwest. You'd probably be arriving from the west, so you can see out on your left-hand side that hill and that building, the church. It's a chapel on top of it with a graveyard attached. That's the biggest and the most obvious building. You know basically how towns work.

If you rode out into the center of town, roughly, along that main west-east road, you would probably encounter taverns and more people. Would you like to try and stay the night? It's with the warning of like, you know, hey, nothing, like, I can't protect you all the time. Chances are, if I'm traveling at night, bad. Yeah. And, yeah, so I think even though I might not need to rest, Gretchen needs to rest. Yes, that's fair.

It's getting to be like towards the evening time. Let's head to towards town to at least go to the tavern and at least spend the night so that we can leave first thing. And, uh, because like again, uh, from like, you know, memory, it was like, Yenda was like Barovia is in a horrible way. She talked about it like it was like a hellscape that was littered with nothing but the undead. Um, but that like halfling I met was just like, yeah, it's fine. It's not goos. I want to get out of here. I'm here for a bit, but let me go.

He wasn't like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, I was being, you ain't that by ghouls. So I'm still, again, there's so much stuff that people are saying one thing, and then it's just not really divulging, and I'm like, what the fuck's going on? So yes, we'll head to town. You ride into the center of town. You see, it's strange. You see no damage, no sign of death or decay or damage or war.

It looks peaceful, but it's even for night, it's weirdly quiet. Every door is closed. You can see lights on inside buildings, but you don't see people moving about in buildings. And you hear no one. At one point, a dog crosses the road, and it startles you with how much motion and life there is suddenly in just an animal crossing the street. All right. So it's like, it's deserted. There's no one around.

Like I said, there's lights, which implies there is. I was in like, there's lights that are on, but there's no street culture. No, everyone's quiet. Okay. You, riding into the center of town, you see there are three obvious buildings. There is Build Rath's Mercantile. You see a sign at the front. You see, well, you, it's originally supposed to be called Blood of the Vine Tavern,

but you see someone has defaced the sign to say, blood on the vine tavern. And then finally, you see Mary's Townhouse. And Mary's townhouse appears to be some sort of not like a pub or a bar just a place to stay. But it looks like you might also be able to stay from the size of the building. You imagine you might be able to stay at the blood of the vine tavern as well. Does Mary's Townhouse have a vacancy sign in the window? Yes. That's just put out the moment you arrive.

Okay, okay. The blood of the vine tavern, you can see the doors are, it's the first building you've seen where the doors are open. Okay, cool. I was wondering, is like, is there, okay, maybe we'll, I guess, head to the tavern. Get a bite to eat. If not to, you know, stay there at least to be like, can I stay over somewhere? Where, what the hell is this place? Is there somewhere to hitch the, now I'm worried of my horses. That like, you know, A will be eaten, well, not by druids, but by city druids. Hips warning. City truels in your brain.

It really does now. I'm really concerned about the horses. Your horse is at risk of being eaten at a halt? Exactly. But there's somebody to hitch the horses, I assume. Other horses? Yes, there is, yeah. There's like several. There's all the horses?

No, there's no horses. Okay. But there's a place to put the horses. There's places to put horses, yeah. There's suspicious blood marks where the horses. One very bitten horse. I will hitch the horse. Okay, okay.

And we'll, uh, let's the first question, I think. We'll head to the blood on the vine. Blood of the vine. Of the vines. Stepping inside, you can see that the tavern, it's the initial entry space is pretty large, is 60 feet by 60 feet. The majority of that space is tables and chairs, but all of the tables and chairs have been, or would be, sorry, tables and chairs, but all of the tables and chairs have been stacked

and piled in a corner, save for one, which is roughly the center of the eating floor, if you will. There's a single table, a single chair, and a single table. single man sitting at that table and chair. Behind the bar, you can see there's a bartender. Both of them look up and over at you, and it seems surprised to see you. I like to imagine what I'm wearing is very, like, I guess, like Frankenstein core. You know, like full on, like, you know, this like every, like really shrouded to really

cover everything up, just to kind of really hide my, my shame, as it were. And then just kind of like, yeah, pull by like the head, the hood back, um, Iguidiv. Their surprise immediately turns to anger. The man sitting at the table doesn't say anything, but he's staring at you with a hatred that you did not realize a person you've never met before could give you. He has long, kind of unkempt white hair, pure like a shock of white hair. He looks quite young as well. the man said, you would mark him as an adult, but he'd be like, like maybe 22. He's not very old.

Okay. The man's standing behind the bar, a lot older. Bolding, kind of with the, the, he's George Costanza. Excellent here. Yep, love it. He's got a very similar build as well. Short, but a bit stocky. Right.

Looks like, it doesn't look like, so you know, George Costanza obviously couldn't take you in a fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy looks like he could stand a chance. But apart from that, very George Costanza-esque. He's got like a shirt on with rolled-up sleeves. As soon as you pull back the hood, he, that bartender, gestures the way you came and says, out. I just wanted a place to...

Is my horse... You can sleep in the mud for all I care, Hector. Well, what... How do you know my name? I've never met you before in my life. Of course you know not my name or this place. we still stand buildings here

still push back against the wind we still have love and warmth it's fine we have love we have warmth what is I don't understand

I don't know what have I'm sorry if I have I apologize You are a bad man a dark mark everywhere you go is pain and suffering

That is not true I've I've I've I've helped people. I am... Valakai, Kuchery, even Kresik. Yes, I helped Kuturi. I helped...

What wine flows in Kresik, what building stands in Valakai? How many dead line the streets of Kutri? You leave now. I will have no part of you. I simply just wanted a place to stay. I apologize. I think you are...

Look, I'm not here to defend myself. If that is what you think of me, that is what you think of. I'm just here to rest. We have no vacancy for you. Okay. Gretchen steps past you and she takes a couple steps. You see her hands are bold in fists? I put my...

I put my hand on her shoulder. It's okay, Gretchen, okay. You got anything for a persuasion check? Uh-oh. Your reputation. Oh. I can give you five extra steps of movement. No, thinking music.

I don't think that will help. I can give you a critical attack. Help, would you have to cave these innocent bartender's heads in? Yeah, so you have nothing for persuasion check? No. Gretchen shrugs your hand off and she keeps walking. This man has done more for these entire lands than you have in your entire long, And as she gets close enough,

the bartender throws a punch. Oh, don't hit my... Well, I'm going to go to initiative. Okay. Hey, if you kill these guys, you can just stay in there to happen. Don't even have to pay him.

All right, he's going to go first. He's going to throw a punch. Then it'll be Gretchen. Then it'll be you. His name. You don't even know his name. I mean, when have you ever learned the name of someone you've killed? Not killing nobody.

Yeah, you just knock them out. sap them. Why are we fighting these people? They fucking hate you, dude. They fucking hate you. They're gonna kill you, man. He swings. The bartender swings at Gretchen,

but she leans backwards and his blow, it clips her chin but doesn't actually do damage. What are you doing? That sets Gretchen off. She swings right back. Gretchen punches him and breaks his nose, throwing, not throwing.

but the force of her blow breaks his nose and then throws him up against the back of the bar. You see as the counter behind him rattles and a couple bottles fall and shatter on the ground. It's your turn, Hector. Um, okay. Can I, uh, just like, ha, I don't know, like, some sort of like presence known

just to be like, stop whatever you're, like, do I, do I, like, uh, Cairchips, Cachips, Cachips. Thermaturgy, Thermaturgy, Thermaturgy, tavertoge, tavertegy, tavertijee Around the back chocolate's, mate. Yeah. Um, uh, okay, uh, so can I, can I just like, uh, like I put my hand out? Mm-hmm.

And can, I know, like, uh, uh, uh, casting light? Yes. Can I make that, I understand, like, in the mechanics of D&D, it's not like a blinding light. I'm hearing a strained spell. Yeah, yeah. But I just wanted to almost be like, like, like a big flash, like a big flash of light just, just to kind of get everyone's attention to

just, just to calm down, just to be like, what do you, the big, big flash of light, just stop. Everybody, stop. Gretchen, stop. You can attempt strained magic. Can he, um, yes. Can he flex his new muscle a bit to make it work? No, does that even mean? I don't want to, that seems like you're He's got a little reserve of power just sitting there. No, that seems... No. He's got a little reserve. He's got a little reserved. He's got a little well.

Just sitting there doing nothing. I'm not hearing that's... I'm hearing that's not what he wants. That seems like I'm making... I'm breaking the... It's there if you need it. Do you have any arcana? Do you have anything for an arcana check?

I'm guessing not. Oh, actually, no. It's not. You, all right, I'll give you advantage on your intimidation check. Okay. Do you have anything for an intimidation? I don't, it's not, I can't, it's more like persuasion rather than intimidation. I'm letting you know, the dice are still low.

I'm still low. I can triple my, can I, can I? Triple that proficiency bonus? No, I think I used that one. Okay. You may have to kill these guys. I can try, I can, I can triple my, my, my proficiency bonus. That would be helpful, yes. Okay, I'll do that. All right. You managed to stop the fight before it starts. What are you doing? Well, it had stopped. But you stopped the fight before anyone gets really badly hurt. You see the man, that young man at the desk, desk, at the table. You see that he in an instant was standing and in one of his hands, he's not like about to attack. You didn't realize, but he was about to join the fight. Yeah, well, obviously. He's standing and in one of his hands, there's a, he's not like, about to attack. He, you didn't realize, but he was about to join the fight. Yeah, well, obviously. He's standing and in one of his hands, there's a, there's a, he's a

very elaborate and fancy looking rapier. You can see on the handle guard there's like a insignia, which you're guessing, or from some of the, from some of the, like, insignia or just like things you've seen about town already, you're guessing is Borovia's, like,

a city seal. So it looks like some sort of, like, special to Borovia type weapon. Okay. He, that the, the blade of this rapier had been flaming, but when you call for quiet, he gives a little flick

and the flames, like a lightsaber almost turn off. Okay. Okay. Are you, I call to the person behind the bar? Are you okay? Are you injured? Of course I am injured. Blood must spill everywhere you go, he says, glaring it Gretchen.

Gretchen, that is not resort to violence. Do you need to be healed? I will have none of your. on magic. It's okay. I thought I would offer. I do not. I really do not understand what I have done to offend you.

We got rid of... You know what? It is fine. I'm sorry. Offend. Only you would call what you have done helping. What have I done? What have you done?

How many dead are in your name? I do not know. I do not know. All I know is that I saved some children who were cursed and beaten by where we were. All I know I cannot see your platitudes. Leave, he says. What has happened to you?

As I'm like, all I know is my friend Yender she came through here. She said it was in a bad way. I'm just here to The man? Pass by. Standing at the table, the young man standing at the table,

looks at you and says, and where is Yender now? Aric, the young man says this. Arick has asked you to leave. I suggest you do so. I live. We're leaving.

Mary's... Mad Mary will perhaps offer you comfort. Or you can seek absolution at the chapel. I step out and I guess... No one's going to eat the horses, right? Sorry, I know you want me. I just... I really... I have a question. Sorry.

I don't want to... But I am leaving. I just... No. Now go. Okay, good to hear. Thank you. Good news. I guess we head to mad Mary's house. The sign just says Mary's Townhouse.

We head to Mary's Townhouse. Right, I do not understand what is... You open the door to Mary's Townhouse. Hello. And there's a, like, a little reception inside. No one's manning the reception, but there's a little bell, obviously, the ring. You ring? Ding ding, ding.

Ding. Ding, ding, ding. You ring, and I've got a picture. I'll show you her picture because I don't think the previous two times we've done this campaign. You actually got to meet her. But this is Bad Mary here. An old crone. All right.

Looks like an old crone, yes. Fair enough. Very sad and maybe shocked to see someone here, a woman steps out. Hello. Hello. Can I help? Yes. We're just here for a place to stay within night

and maybe some food for... Are you hungry, Gretchen? Gretchen shakes her head. No, not right now. Just a place. You can see she's still quite upset about what just happened. It's just a place to stay. Mary looks over her shoulder at... You're only just now realizing that's what this is.

You know when a hotel will have all the little cubbies with the keys in them? There's one of those behind her. You can see there is... there's nearly like 40 rooms in this establishment, but there are five keys remaining. Oh. Hey.

Well, let's say. That's great. I have only rooms on the ground floor. Is this acceptable? That is fun. She nods. Then she collects one of the keys, and then as she's turning around, she pauses,

and she says, one room or two? Is it two beds? Gretchen immediately says two. Yes, like two beds? Yeah, so. She does, Gretchen doesn't seem to care. She just says two rooms. Oh, right, yeah.

Yeah, whatever. Mary collects a second key and then passes them across to both of you. Thank you very much. This town is very quiet. Mary not. From her response, which is your insight. Not high enough? Yeah, Mary's response is.

Is there a reason? Is there a curfew? No curfew? Is there many people around? Sometimes. We get all sorts from the road out east. Right. You assume she means adventurous by that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.

Is there a place I could put my horses? Out the front, there is a place to hitch. Right, right? That's where I've already done that, right? Yeah, I would imagine. Yes, and they're safe there, yes? Yes. Why is it so quiet here? And the blood of the wine on the wine, blood on the vine...

The tavern? Yes, it seems very... You can eat there if you are hungry. Perhaps they do not seem to be used to customers. She leans across the table and doesn't answer your question. but as she leans across the table, you can see that the hems, the hems of both of her sleeves are thick or heavy with red blood. It looks fresh. Right. Have you been preparing a meal? Yes. Good. What are you making? I make what the people want.

what do the people want meat right what's swimming but is it kutchery yeah

that's right meat so like did not see many um um not much livestock livestock around yeah

no the lands will grow no more she looks away she's not looking at you when she says that they have been

salted who's salted Barovia was the breadbasket of the whole valley. No more. No, because a year ago, yes? Mm-hmm. In uprising. No.

A punishment. For? For what happened. What happened? You, she, you're, I mean, like you kind of were getting this impression already. But she is not operating correct right now. You don't think you can actually trust anything she's telling you. Cool.

Right. A punishment. Who? From the gods, ourselves, whoever would listen. So the meat, where do you get the meat from? Where I can. And it is like beef or chicken? Mm-hmm.

Okay. All right. Okay. She's probably lock your doors. You can hear. Right. From up above you, Mary looks up at the ceiling when you hear that as well. Obviously hearing it at the same time.

She says, the people are hungry. I will go feed them. Of course. Thank you for the keys. She turns and leaves. We leave. You put you and Gretchen, realizing she never asked for money, put your key. He's back down on the counter and turn and leave.

So they did say, I guess, maybe the church to, I'm just, I know they don't like, I just, so she would have like killed us, right? Yeah, I may be eaten us. Yeah. Sounds like it. Hey, I know this is pretty obvious. Barovia is an awful place. Town or country.

Both. Yes. Are they all like this? She says. No, I'm assuming in our travel, I would have told them somewhat of, like, you know, the others. Well, like, I've got some Creszic's nice part. As long as you're not an elf. Yeah, there's a park.

You got ambushed by the dire wolves there once. Yeah, but it's, you know, you can... It's not a great place. I just... I under... It's like Mary's house and the tavern, like, next to each other? And the tavern, they're across the road. Right.

I just want to, like, again, knock on that tavern door. I understand. You don't want me... She would have eaten us, yes? You knock on the door. Actually, it's closed now. Oh, it's closed now. Yeah, you see, very plausibly, you have ruined their night, and now they have closed them.

Rude. And I guess they mentioned, I guess, the church, that it seems to be any other place to stay? Yeah. A church, it's like a holy place, right? Like, nothing bad can happen at a church, right? Well, I mean, it's like a hotel is a place where you go to sleep, so nothing bad. Yeah, but a hotel is not like sacred ground. Of course, like, you know, you can't, you know, corrupt something sacred, right, Gretchen?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm being a bitch. No, it's okay. A bit of pips, rob it off, right? A bit of pyrrots. Let's, um, get our horses? Yeah, yeah. They say, look, they said, you know, they said horses will be safe, but if she's not going to eat She might eat the horses.

Let's get the horses. And we head up towards the church. Okay. As you're heading up towards the church, you pass, there's a, like, a three-story, it looks like quite a nice house on the way there. As you're approaching the church, as you're approaching the church. It's not like, yeah, if there's a house where there's lights on, maybe I might just knock on a door. Yeah, going to jail someone's home.

It would be, well, this house has. Several lights on. Maybe I'll do that. I'll knock on the door because I'm like, I don't know what the fuck's happened. Yeah, what's wrong with this town? Why are they hating me? Yeah, dude.

You see, as you're approached this building, there are two children. Out the front. Would anyone like to describe them? That sort of looks extremely sinister. Yeah. Little shadow vampire children. They do kind of look like vampires.

One of them is wearing like a hood. How I'm wearing the hood. So that's nice. Hey. Okay. You can see that they're playing out the front. It's night time, isn't it? Yeah.

That's not good. They're playing with... One of them has like the... What do you call it? The hoop and stick or whatever? One of them's running around with the hoop and stick. And the other one has a bunch of dolls. Oh, great.

The little one has a bunch of dolls. Of the porcelain variety, Adam. Any needles on them? Are the kids seeing your song that goes, La-de-da-da-di-da-da-da. Is that what's happening? Is that what's happening, Adam? Are they singing what is an innocent nursery rhyme?

The shorter one has a bunch of little dolls and teddies sitting at a table and is doing like a little tea party with them. As you approach, both of them look at you and then sprint inside the house. I'm so scared of those dolls. Yeah, fair at all. None of them are moving, right? Dolls. No moving dolls. Do you go over and look?

I'm not looking with my hands. They don't move at this distance. That's good. Come on. Ed, do you want me to describe them? No. Okay? They don't even have a pin.

No. Okay, get a good boy card? Oh, nice. Okay. So, one of them doesn't have a pin, per se, but one of them's like a little knight, and it's holding a little sword. And as you approach, you're very confident that it, like, it was looking at you, and then when you look at it, it looks forwards.

I want to, like, summon a spear, like, straight out, don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare. I wait. Nothing happens. I lean forward, like, the tip of the spear into, like, the doll's, like, the fuck is he doing. The fuck is he doing it? Yeah, nothing happens. You press the spear into it?

Mm-hmm. Like, to destroy it? Just, like, to, like, you know, to kind of, like, stab it a little bit. I'm pretty sure that would cause, like, something. Yeah, yeah. Push the doll over a little bit. It's teetering, but it doesn't fall. You see it move, Gretchen?

No. Just keep your eye. It moves. Okay, she says. Are they like... Are there evil dolls in this land? Oh, are they evil dolls? Oh, are they evil dolls?

What is it? It's like something comma guy. Little guys. Like little guys? Puppet comma little guy. Oh, yeah, true. Yes. Which implies their name is little...

Little guy puppets. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yes, there are evil puppets. These are the little, these are puppets, comma, little guys. They will body swap with you if you get struck with a needle. I'm sure I have told you about this before. If not, I apologize, because there are the number, look, everyone talks about strad and vampires. This to me is probably the number one biggest threat of Borovia.

Puppets come to little guys. Yes. Sorry, you, I mean, I wouldn't say you told me about it, but I did hear you screaming. in your sleeve. Yes, well, they are terrifying. I have a friend he said he spent like maybe six months as one. It doesn't matter. You know what?

I stab it. Just to be sure. Just to be sure. Who cares? Just to be sure. I'm sorry, little spooky children. It is destroyed in the way that a regular puppet is destroyed. You can never be too careful.

You never be too careful. Right. Those children, they were playing, right? ominously. Yeah. What do you mean ominously? Like it is nice. time they're playing they look like little

no you know it's alright I knock on the door you knock on the door you weren't terrified by the little children I mean they're just kids it's dark I mean you didn't see what I see okay knock on the door do you have night do you have um dark vision no you don't no I don't she maybe has a lantern in her hands honestly yes you didn't see them and do you think that was such

you know knock on the door she's her instincts are bad that's the thing they'll get back we need to hone them The door opens as you knock on it. Not in like someone opens the door. The door is, yeah, it's just, it wasn't locked. And when you knock, the force, quote unquote, force of your knock pushes the door a little bit implying that you could just open it if you wanted to. Hello, is anybody home?

You open the door. It's immediately just this tiny little entryway. Hello. There's another set of double doors immediately passed. It's like a, you can see there's a shoe rack with a bunch of shoes neatly placed. How many? Covered in dust. Okay.

There's five sets of shoes. Ghost children. Oh, no. Anybody here? Two sets of adult boots and then, oh, no, sorry, four sets of shoes, not five. There's two sets of adult shoes, two sets of children's shoes. I just call out. Is anyone around, anyone home?

Hello. And there's another set of double doors. Right. Pop quiz for my wonderful friend, Gretchen here. What do you think is the next move? Um, we go to the church. That is correct. We leave.

We close the door and we leave. You're beginning to understand this place. Okay. Yes. Good. We leave. Help! Come on.

It's probably some kind of urban Willy Whiskey. Don't go in. Okay. It's a Willow wispo, all right? This happened to be before someone yelled out, help. I thought it was a, well, it happened to every. times. One of them was a Willie Whispy. One of my thought was a really wispy, but they're telling a nine-year-old child to fuck off. What is your instinct, Grinch? Leave. Yeah, I is afraid.

I open the door. You open the door. This time, the older of the two children, the taller one, is standing there. She is standing at the set of double doors, which are now slightly ajar, she says, there's a monster in our house, and then she closes the door. Are you the monster? Are you playing a game? Why did you close the door if there's a monster in the house? They're the monster, or are they playing a game? I...

What could it be? You know, you can find a child. Yeah. It is tiring. I'm so tired. You should be above this now You know This kind of shit shouldn't be happening to you anymore

What kind of little child What kind of monster is it I look at Gretchen I'm like I mean it's like obviously a trap So why would we do this? What was about the other little girl I mean if they're in on it

I was a little boy sorry The children are a boy and a girl The younger one is the boy Yeah sorry It's obviously a trap, yes. Is this a trap? I call it. Like a summoner, like a spear, kind of like long.

It's kind of like, can I push the double doors from where I am at, like from a distance? Sure. You open that set of double doors? It opens into a large, open, just a liminal space in the house. There's a circular set of stairs over on your right hand side. and you can see many doors on the opposite wall to you there's four doors

and then immediately to your right there's a just a single door as well anybody monster little girl little boy I like strand my ears if there's a monster

they'll be attacking yeah exactly there's no one attacking we leave yeah fair enough yeah no one's attacking we're going let's just go

You don't need this, dude. Just get out of there. You leave? Yeah. Help. What help would you like? We will go. We're going, we're going.

You leave? Help! What help would you like again? There's a crash upstairs. It sounds like something fell over. Something big, like a piece of furniture. I look at Gretchen. Gretchen gives you a shrug.

This, I think we... I don't know. Do you think there's actually someone in trouble? I give like, I look at the tail, like I just shrug. I've been, I don't know. Let's just go to the church, she says. You know what? Someone at the church can tell us. And if they are real children and in danger, we can come back. And this isn't time sensitive, maybe, she says. Well, they were playing outside. They came to the thing and they looked at us. They said, help us. And then they closed the door. And they ran back in. That is not the behavior of a child in danger.

What if we split the difference? What if one of us deals with this, the other one goes to the church and gets help? No, that's a bad idea. Gretchen, what do you think? We need to really... You get a little bit, Gretchen. Think. Oh, Gretchen, we need to get your head on straight, Gretchen.

You need to think, okay? We spit up. What if there is a ghost house and there is a ghost church? You ever think about this? Now we're split up and we're being eaten by two. building. Let's just go to the church. No, actually, I like that idea. No, no, I'm serious.

What? I, this is definitely, there's definitely a monster here. You are the better one at this. I'll go to the church, I'll see if I can get more help. What if, you're not listening, Regan. What if the church is a monster? Then I'll come back here.

Just go to the church. We'll come back. What if there is someone in danger? Then let's go together then. Do not spit up. Okay. Okay. All right. Let's go into, let's go. Let's go in. Let's go in. I kick open the door. I kick open the other door. And I'm like, right, monster,

we're here to help. So, are you going up the stairs? Yeah. Rather annoyed. I'm sorry of Gratchen now, dude. Checker for pinpricks.