D&D is For Nerds - Barovia IV #5 Kerlova's Love

Episode Date: September 6, 2025

Okay, it's raining, I'm covered in plants, I've lost count to the amount of times I have been stabbed and I think I can hear someone muttering something about Kerlova? Surely a vampire bride couldn't possible mesmerise one of my allies, they all have such strong will! If only I had known the joys of bleeding from multiple stab wounds caused by evil trees! If I had known about this sooner I would have run full pelt into a forest, as naked as the day I was born with my arms wide open at the sharpest branch! Please, somebody help me. I cannot die like this. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oi, lads, did you miss out on the Jaron's Outpost Kickstarter and wish you weren't such a big doofus? Well, fear not. Late pledges are now open and they'll be open for a little while, so just head to Kickstarter search for D&D for Nerds or Jaron's Outpost and slam that late pledge button. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most, when your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard. When the barbecues lit, but there's nothing to grill,

when the in-laws decide that actually they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer. So download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus, enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees exclusions and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. I am told that the sea is a massive thing, that one could die just wandering its past.

While we have no such thing in my homeland of Barovia, I am well aware of the feelings of isolation that a place without walls can conjure. For we are the prisoners of one Strad von Zaravich. I will slay this vampire so that my people may once more breathe free in the sunshine. Pip, two twiglights attack you from behind. Oh no.

And then you need to make a constitution, saving throw. Do you have anything for a constitution saving throw? I do not. I have our how fortuitous something good happens to you, D.M.'s Choice. It feels really quite like a waste, but it feels like otherwise I'm going to die, so

or I don't know, man. What would you like to happen? I would just like to not die, to not get poisoned. I can give you, and another ally shows up. Okay, I'll take it. Okay.

Well, we'll get to that in a moment when it's their turn. Hector. Hector, it's your turn. Don't forget you're a disadvantage, only to your physical abilities. So, werewolfism is a disease. Correct. Okay. So I've lay on hands.

I can cure a disease. You can try to cure like anthropy, but it might be a bit beyond your magic. Okay, okay. It'd be very funny. to touch your werewolf and you'd be like thank you. Make him a man. Make him a man. Oh, it's definitely beyond your magic to do that. I assume that you're

at the level of like, you know, if it's been like a day or a couple of days. Yeah, I might call that like the equivalent of the lesser restoration. So yeah, if it's been a day, you could help maybe. All right, okay, okay, okay. So the whale was bearing down. Okay, so I have, sorry,

they're wolfing down. I'm just thinking do I do something like try to lay on hands of them and not expel every single one of my charges because, you know, maybe I will like you some will. Yeah, it could have, could, yeah. Or do I just try and attack them with, say, a big spear? Great question.

What if you just hit them with your shield? It's made a silver. Because they'll be healing every turn. I think the healing, if I heal them, that will prevent them from regenerating. No, that's true. So I'm going to grab one by the face. Or it's muzzle. Uh-huh.

And then I'm going to channel, let's say, 20 hit points into them. Hell, yes. Okay. If I was to, like, Hexblade curse them beforehand, would that give me those bonuses? Because this is technically an attack. Sure. Okay.

All right then. What's the Hexblade bonus? Plus four to damage rolls, score a critical hit on a 19 or a 20, and I regain nine hit points if it dies. Oh, that's good. You won't get, because there's no attack roll, so you're not going to be able to get that 19 or 20 critical hit. But, well, there's no real rule for this.

I'll allow you to roll if you want, and then you get a chance of getting a critical. But you also could miss. And also, you're rolling a disadvantage. So do you want to make the role? Yeah, let's go for it. Why not? What if you get 219s? What if?

You didn't. And you might miss Oh no, no, no, no, you definitely hit You definitely still hit Damn Okay, damn Why are you upset? Well, sometimes I'm on your side

Okay, and you're channeling... And you're channeling 20 points of damage? Yeah, okay, so you'll do 24 points of damage To one of the three Whelves And you're pretty sure That this effect also

mucks with their regeneration so this well wolf is not going to regenerate at least this turn and was there that was your action Hector was there anything else you'd like to do well it was one of your attacks oh it's one of my attacks

yeah I think you get two don't you two on that case I will then take the spear and the pack weapon and try and stab that same you would normally get advantage with this right

yeah I think so I think with your pack weapon yeah So you just cancelled out the disadvantage. Yeah. You hit. Nice. And it's a spear. Oh, but you wait, no, you have to be one handing it for the shield.

That's true. Is it a 19, perhaps? No, it wasn't. It was 16, sorry. I spend this good boy can't. Rerall anything. It's a three. Fuck!

Do you want it? No. Okay. I don't have that good boy can't. And you hit, you deal plus that four damage, right? Yep. So it's four plus four is eight, plus another three. for your strength is 11.

Are there any other bonuses? No, that's all. I guess I'll just prepare for whatever happened. Next. Okay. Pip, I offer you something good happening. I offer you one of these two allies to appear.

Gorob and Lushin or the engineer. Who'd you prefer? Well, there's not enough left of Iona for... Oh, that's great to hear. Jesus Christ. While you've mulled that over, Hey, did my ally get a, get a, get a, get a, get a turn.

That was, oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I did. Oh, oh, the woman? Yes. Oh, sorry, yes, that's right. She takes, she went right before you. She's still trying to open that great. With one hand, she's struggling. The other, the person inside, though, starts help. Oh, actually, yeah, no, the person inside starts helping.

That's a, that's a real bummer. that's a robot I'll have the engineer show up you'll have the engineer show up all right Gorub and Lushin have their turn and then

Zich Zich showing up like fucking Ripley from Alien in the fucking Get away from him you bitch

It's me I have arrived Hell yes The engineer is going to do two things. First off, that mech thing that he pilots levels a nozzle at some of the twigblights behind you. And then you hear

and he bathes them both in flames. Hell yeah. They need to make saving throws. One passes, one fails. And you watch as cold damage or not, both of them go up in flames. Awesome. Yeah, then with his other hand, he levels that at Carylover, and the arm on the mech fires out with a, like a rope or a chain attached to it.

That hand from the mec grabs Carylover, and then you watch as electricity sparks from the mech to Cailover. She needs to make a saving throw. She passes, but that's just half damage. Whatever, dude. Anything helps. Kerlova looks at you, Pip, and she says, I know you. I am the only one who has ever known you.

What the hell? You need to make a wisdom saving throw? You will. Are you about to fail this? You idiot, Pip. If only you were a little wiser. Only I had a little more wisdom. Yeah, you fail.

Pip, Kerlova's whispered words. feel like the only true thing that has ever been said to you. In a moment, you realize that Karelova is the only person in all of Borovia who does not care about your past. Okay. Kelova doesn't care who you were before this. She doesn't care about general Mandarin. She doesn't care about your spat with Strad.

She's here to help you. And these bastards are trying to kill her. Okay. Fuck, dude. Okay. Then she fights back at Cavendish. Okay. Fuck.

God damn it. God damn it, dude. She plants one of her bony arms into the ground, then another bony arm into the ground. She comes down on all fours, and you watch as the bones bulge, like something living within them. And then they explode. Each of the bones, crack, crack, crack, crack. All along her body explode. and the skeleton of an elk

explodes out of her dry-ed skeleton. What the fuck? Adam, that's horrible. Has she transformed into an elk or is she sort of summoned an elk? She is now a skeletal elk. Okay, cool, cool, cool.

Imagine the exact same, the vine still wrapping and twisting, holding the elk skeleton together. Yep. But it is now, yeah, the skeleton of an elk, not the skeleton of a dryad. Those horns level themselves

at Cavendish and you hear him say, well that just ain't cricket he picked that up from puring the hooves come down he takes 10 16 20 points of damage

to Cavendish from horns alone okay then she rams him okay for attempts to she deals a further 12 points of bludgeoning damage and then he needs to make a strength check Kelova

leans upwards and those skeletal hooves come down on Cavendish. You see one of his shoulders gets rocked in an uncomfortable way. He cries out in pain then as she lands right in front of him, she scoops him up in her horns, throws him

up into the air. Cavendish flips end over end and lands 20 feet away in a prone position. He looks battered and bruised but you can see he glances over at you, and he yells something, but all you can hear is Kelover's whispering.

Pip, it's your turn. Okay, in my current state is basically my main desire to, like, defend Keralova. Yeah. And I can see the engineer and I can see Kavendish. Cavendish and the engineer, yeah. Twang, twang, an arrow at each. Okay. And what's

going to fuck him up more? I'll make them lightning arrows. Lightning arrows both of them? Yeah. All right. So the one, the first one you fire at the engineer, that's a hit. You fire dead center into the engineer's chest. You hear, he makes just a noise like that. And you will deal 14 points of damage to the engineer.

Oh dear, that hurt him. Yeah, I thought it might. Oh, I already rolled. I did it on purpose, dude, because I love Kolova. And Cavendish takes another 11 points of damage As you shoot him and you hit him in the leg No, the foot You pin his foot into the mud and the muck

They can't take reactions That's what the lightning damage does as well Okay, yeah That was your turn, Pipp Then it's Caterlover's turn I'm about to be sucked dry Damn it. No, no, no, no, no, you're working for her right now She doesn't need that

You are useful She reaches, no, she's Do I get a check as well? No, you don't get a check, unfortunately, at the end of your turn. You get a check if Kalova... Wants you to have a check? No, not if she wants you to have a check. Yeah.

You get a... Yeah, you don't get a check. Fabulous news. Well, hey, it makes my life easier. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what I'm going to do. I guess maybe someone's got to attack her? I don't know.

I don't know, dude. All I know is I'm going to kill my allies, I guess. Well, they're your enemies, though. Yeah. Big time they are. You get to check when she's done feeding on you. Done feeding. Fabulous.

She's even stuck? Yeah, it's good. It's the werewolves' turn. Oh, yeah, cool. Or it would be the werewaters' turn, except Kelover is going to take another action. Oh, okay. Kelover tilts her elk head back, and you see that the sky parts for a brief moment. But instead of a cloud, a huge bolt of lightning slams down into both the engineer and to Cavendish.

They've been electrocuted quite a bit. And... I feel electricity is not good for a mex suit. No. No. Well, that was my thinking. Clever, clever. Both of them take ten points of damage.

Okay. How do you kill a big deer that's on... Well, on your side? Yeah. Well, I don't. I guess you don't. I don't. I just let her live.

Yeah. Then it is the werewolves' turn. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Now, one of the werewolves attacks you, Hector. Okay. Hit. Anything you want to do?

And it's the bite. Do you want to do anything about that? I mean, we've determined that you're probably immune. I got that divine blood, dude. All I have to do is... Wait a minute. Penny, it can just leave you. I don't know.

Oh my God, I could just do that. No. Yeah, it's a hit with the bite. Yeah, see, exactly. I can't be a wolf. All I have to lose. lose is actually my blood and hit points. And they come back easy.

Oh, wait. Oh, wait. Oh, no. Yeah, so are you doing anything? No, Adam. No. Don't get mad at me. I didn't do that. Oh, wait, yeah, I did. You know, you gotta make your fun somewhere.

You take eight points of damage. That's not too bad. It's not too bad. It's the gross game of things. It's worse than seven. Yeah. Yeah. But better than nine.

Yeah. The other werewolf attacks the woman out of the cage from behind. You hear it snarl. Let me help you, dear. Mm-hmm. Like, goes to grab her, and she just kind of like in a, get off, sort of gesture. She throws the werewolf back. When the werewolf tried to grab her, it maybe attacked her from, like, an odd,

angle. And so the werewolf was a bit off balance and it took her nothing to just shirk that werewolf off. Then the final werewolf keeps attacking Raha Dyn. Oh my God. Raha Dinn is trapped in the corner. You hear him cry

out in pain. Oh God. Rah Dins in a lot of trouble. Rah Dian, dude. What are you doing? He didn't start this fight. Well, I'm sorry. I thought he was at least a little competent. Hector, it's

It's your turn. Okay. Three were wolves left. Remain. Yeah, three wolves remain. Okay. The weapon attacking me, that's the one that I've kind of wounded a bit. Okay, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see.

You know what, I'm just going to attack him twice with my spear. Yeah, I'll do more damage than a silver shield. Yeah, probably. Yeah. Attack him twice as my spear. One of your attacks hits. Hey, that's something. You hit with your spear.

That's something. Is it just the D4, a D6, sorry? Do you put in any spice on that? It's looking pretty damaged, yeah? This werewolf? Yeah, this werewolf's pretty hurt. Okay. It bloodied, like I said.

There's no feedback further than bloodied. Letting you know, though, that the werewolf, because you didn't deal any of the appropriate damage this turn, they are going to start regenerating. I see, I see, I see. Okay. I'm just thinking. would psychic damage be better

or just regular holy damage that might be good I feel like radiant damage is probably a safe bet yeah all right you know what let's put a little bit of spice on them

all right what spice are we put let's put a little bit of a radiant damage on that how much radiant damage how many is it your divine smiting yeah what level what level let's you know what let's go a second level second level so you get two dice plus one for free just for using the ability

I believe so you deal an extra six a lucky boy you deal an extra 10 points of damage which is the magic number my friend oh thank Penny

alright that werewolf goes down you slam that spear you stab that spear up through the werewolf's neck you twist

jerk it once drag it back out the twist turning the blade around so that when it comes back out you tear a huge fucking chunk of that werewolf's neck out. I think, yeah, just with

like enough and just stab throw the, I guess now it's a human carcass. On the end of my spear, to the side and then start sizing up against the werewolf. That's attacking my new ally that I don't know their name of. The trapped adventure.

That werewolf, as they turn back into a human, you can see that there's black scarring and death like dead flesh kind of wilting around that wound You feel the spear After killing a lichenthrope specifically There's like a hunger to it

You can feel it It kind of infuses you a little bit To be honest There's a you want After killing one lichenthroat The spear and you a little bit Want to kill another Okay interesting

Okay, okay. Felt good. Weird. Yeah. And now it's your allies' turn? Oh, but they're being helped. They're being helped. Christ.

All right, they do it. Oh, thanks. Oh, I just think, what a way, what an absolute, like, I'm thinking, I'm thinking I'm going to be clever here. We are outnumbered. Genius. So I'm going to be a genius here, and I'm going to, like, get the hell out of dodge and rescue some people.

Exactly. And it might be a risk, because who knows if they are also werewolf or not. But, hey, I get two extra people. I somehow get bested by a cage. That not only bests me for now, it bests me for a while. It still probably has a vendetta, right? Yeah. And then it's just like, okay, well, this one's free.

They'll get their friend free. No. Nah. They're jiggling kind of, Yeah. The, um, yes, Adam. The two knights free them. Well, both of the nights are free now.

Oh, thank hell yeah. Christ. That is unfortunately, though, their turn. But, well, no, they still have movement. They use that movement to one of them sizes up. No, actually, there's one werewolf right in front of them. That's kind of their major, their primary issue. They both size up with that werewolf.

The one who isn't already armed with a dagger picks up just like a chair or something like that. With the dead werewolf, like, do they, you know, and they were human again, is they're like, oh, and a sword? How does wherwolfism work? I don't think the sword goes in you. The sword does not go in them. I thought it does.

No, if you're a druid, it does. But if you're a werewolf... I'm thinking of drood. Thinking of druids, dude. The werewolves kind of use their werewolf thing as their sword. They don't really carry weapons. No, I was just curious. Yeah.

No, I mean, like, it's a fair question. You know what? Get a good boycott. Whoa. And Jackson? Yeah? Nice jumper. Thank you.

Oh, yeah, sweet, okay. I thought I was just getting the compliment. There you go. See, don't ever say, I don't do it. Thank you, right. I remember an argument a long time ago, where the two of you were talking about talking to handsome Tom and to

Cass and saying he gives you so many good boycards. Yeah. Yeah. And you, for, you know, at the time... They deserved them. Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah, they did. Yeah. You know what? He's right. He's right. He's right. All right. It's Gorob and Lushin's turn.

They're having a little adventure right now with Carposs. That's nice. Good for them. It's the engineer's turn. Hope he doesn't turn on me. The Engineer's Alliance is a strange. The engineer, thankfully, has a, I wouldn't call it like an outright get out of jail free card, but it's not an outright get out of jail free card. The engineer looks at you and Pip, you hear through the, like, I am here.

What's better than a well-marbled rib-eye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled rib-eye sizzling on the barbecue. that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well marbled ribby you ordered without even leaving the kitty pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver.

The only one who has happened on you. The only one who could know you. Through that whispering, you hear Pip Mandarin. You're back to normal. What the fuck? The chains connecting you mentally to kale over are shattered. The engineer is standing there. You can see.

Pure sociopathy can break the chum. Cut right through. You can see it, you're not sure when this happened, but there's a little like a little satellite dish type thing. sitting on the side of that mech. Yeah. And there's a tube, a rubber tube, that connects the satellite dish to it's in the engineer's mouth. You know how, what's that instrument that's like a piano?

Piano where you can do kind of auto-tune, like, kind of manually, yeah. Yeah, okay. It's kind of like sitting in his mouth like that, like he's half chewing on it, like it's a fucking cigar or something. That's so funny. He spits that out and then keeps fighting. Sorry about that. Like that, dearie, because, like, you know, we have no concept what a satellite is.

Yeah, I don't know what, I don't know what it looks like. What kind of magical, weird, musical instrument has he been playing this whole time? I, this one time, every single time this comes up, I say, obviously, you would, I always preface with, like, obviously, you wouldn't call it this. But the one time you don't, we're like, what? That doesn't make sense. Fuck you. He jolts kill over with 15 more points of electrical damage. Fuck yeah, dude.

Oh, nice. Oh, by the way, I'm just letting you know this entire time. Kelova has been regenerating hit points. I've no doubt, dude. I seem everyone were fighting is regenerating hit points. I don't even think about it anymore. It's the Druids' turn, and Keralova has been summoning them unbeknownst to you. Fuck.

So, Pipp, a vine whip wraps around your neck as someone attacks you from behind, but you throw it off. Fuck off. See, sometimes they roll pulling Hey, that's good That's good That's this guy Oh no wait He can do it twice

Oh that's bad Wow he has two whip Oh one's the stop Sorry I got confused Two hands Two hands Two whips He's like a cowboy

It's a stoff and a whip Awesome All right Sorry he tries to batter You from behind With the stoff But you You duck that blow

Then with a whip He wraps that around Your neck And starts pulling Oh everything goes black dude everything goes black for me you're on zero hit points yeah

I mean fucking saving things that's fine fine I'll be right dude do you have anything for this absolutely not okay maybe you want to walk it off you were gain hit points equal to

1d10 plus your level thank you so much yeah I would love that yeah I would love that I would really you would love that I would really appreciate your level oh god you're you guys are getting up there You're level 10? My count? I think so.

You gain 19 hit points. I will crush some fucking elixir I have in my pocket. As you're falling down, your mind starts to start firing, you're like, and you just hear my voice. And you're like, maybe he'll be okay. Maybe he'll be fine. Maybe Hector's right.

A bolt of radiant energy comes. Okay. It's Keralova's turn. Okay. Well, let's give a while I lost it. She regenerates some hit points. If she recognized that I'm no longer connected to her, probably. She's aware, yeah.

While we're talking about regenerating, I also got nine extra hit points. If those, it's just keeping some track. Yeah, okay. Nice. You regain nine hit points? Yeah, yeah, yeah. From that dead wolf. Oh, that's right, of course. Which is nice.

That's good, dude. I think my max is 30. I've just noticed that. So I'm, like, wearing a fucking hole where your hit points are supposed to go in my DM character sheet. Jackson, I for Pip, I have to like write it in the little fucking margins and in the corners and shit like that but Hector

you're still doing alright. Yeah. I can kind of write it mainly. I die I die more frequently. Yeah. Yeah. Because as a paladin and paladin hex X wall like it's like I'm um I guess a backline fighter. Yeah. Yeah. I'm always

like a towards the background. I'm not really there. Yeah. Yeah. As a ranger with a crossbow. Yeah. Frontline fighter. You want to be using your range in melee. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Your range is mellay.

Yeah. Yeah. Like his range, five feet. Yeah. Yeah. That's how I... That's how crossbows works.

You know, that's the plan. It's the point. You hear that whispering again. Come on. Yeah. This time, you're able to throw it off. Okay.

Maybe it's the engineer still speaking, still saying, Pip Mandarin. Or maybe it's, for a brief moment, you're like, no one likes me what are you talking about what are you doing that can't be true whatever it is

it can't be the case whatever it is you're able to throw it off okay what I like maybe you as you're falling unconscious it's just like a thing of like you imagine

and say like hector healing you and like you are loved and deserve love but then it's like everybody loves me that can't be right

I don't think I I don't know if I'm loved and I certainly don't deserve love so Well, Kelova charges you then instead, Pip. That's a shame. If you will not join me, you will be destroyed. That seems more likely.

Do you have anything to stop being hit by an attack? No. I don't. Alas. No. Unfortunately, Adam. Nineteen hit points. I've had, I've really.

they come and go. I've really struggled to stay alive. You take so... No. Oh my God. I added like an extra five damage there. You take... What is that?

11. You take... It's still not nothing. You take 13 points of damage. I'm not dead. I'm not dead. I'm just truly bashed. You're on six hit points.

My word. Fuck, dude. And then you need to make a strength saving throw or be thrown. That would... That will kill me. Natural 20. You don't get a good boy card for that because it's a saving throw.

But you dig, Pip, for the first time in your life, you dig your heels in and hold your ground. As Kerlova swams into you, it feels like getting, you imagine this is what being hit by a fucking elephant must feel like. Fuck, dude. You slip and slide maybe 10 feet back, but you do not fall prone and you are not. thrown by Kaleover crucially and then you kind of wish you had as she rears up and brings

her two hooves down upon you. Okay. You Pipp, yeah, crouch low roll and duck out of the way as those two who slam into the mud where you were standing. Oh, fuck, thank God. That is Keralova's turn. Then, back to the

beginning, it's your turn, Pip. You're five feet away from her. I just don't think If I stop to make something, I just don't have the time. I will meticulous shot her. Advantage? Advantage on the two shots. And the electric damage didn't seem to do as much with this.

So I'll flick it back to fire and then do the shot. Okay. First attack, critical. Nice. Second attack, critical. Nice. Fuck yes. Fuck yes.

Your options are? Oh, my. Okay. One of them is quite powerful. Shut through the heart. Or distracting jab. Let me think, dude. Yeah, let's shoot through the heart, dude.

Quadruple damage, and the target loses one quarter of their maximum hit points at the beginning of their turn for three rounds. Fuck, yes. And you deal 9 plus 9, 18. Oh, here we go again. You deal 72 points of damage. Yes. And then for your next trick Yes, bitch.

Target practice or target practice? I'll go target practice, I think, Adam. Maximum damage and any enemy of the target within range may make an attack of opportunity with disadvantage against it. That is only the engineer, unfortunately. You deal, maximum damage for you would be 12 plus 10 is 22, plus another three, 25 points of damage. Oh, my God.

We don't even need the engineer on that one. You take a knee right next to her, you say, You don't know me, and you certainly don't like me. Twang! You don't, don't fire two bolts straight through her heart. You can see, for a brief moment, those vines open, separate. You know it's a heart, but only because it's beating. otherwise it looks like this dead black shriveled slug almost and you watches it

and you can see it's not even beating blood some black bile is forced out of it there's no circulatory system the heart exists in this structure simply because a vampire needs a heart not because it's doing anything gross you see it for a brief moment you fire twice both bolts find their mark slamming into that heart piercing it breaking it apart in one

Kelova turns into mist and that mist shot like a cannon that mist is fired westwards with enough force to drag you

10 feet in that direction God has that moved the druids as well do they seem you're the only one that gets maybe on the engineer

get dragged a little Yeah, yeah. Just because you were immediately adjacent. Yeah, fair. That, uh, Kalova's gone. Kelova's out of this fight. You haven't killed her, obviously? You've made, you made her force to retreat back to her lair, but you're, at least this

one thing you don't have to fucking fight. I don't have to worry about that now. Thank God. And that was Pip, your turn. It is the werewolves' turn. There's only two left. One of them continues to fight Rahadin, and Rahadin is hold. Oh, wait, no, he doesn't have his turn yet.

Yeah. Rahadin is holding his ground, though, now. Okay, that's good. The other one, yes, all right. Those two knights, they can't deal damage to this werewolf. They haven't, even the dagger is not really enough to deal damage to a werewolf. But with their armor still on, they're able to fight the werewolf to a standstill. They're not hurting it, and it's not hurting them.

Then it is Cavendish. All right, Cavendish, you see, get to his feet, and looking at you as he's reloading, He takes a very wet because of the rain But he takes a paper pouch out of his pocket A little like no bigger than half a finger You've seen him do this before It's how he reloads his weapon He bites into it, tears it open

And a musket ball plus its gunpowder Pour instantly into his rifle Into his musket, sorry People care People definitely would notice as well I would He pours them into his weapon. Glad to have you back.

Yeah, sorry about that. And sorry about shooting you. You can see he's still got the crossbow bolt in his shoulder from where... Indy's foot, sorry, from where you shot him earlier. Sorry about that. We'll take care of that afterwards. He levels his weapon at the druid that is trying to attack you from behind, Pip. Crack!

He reloads quickly. Crack! He shoots the druid once in its leg, blowing its leg off. The druid falls to a... its knees, looks up, and then kind of mercilessly, he shoots nearly point-blank range into the druid's head. The druid's head explodes into a fountain of gore. Like, it's essentially an execution, really, that I watch. Yeah, pretty much. Um, Heisel Lose? Lose. Yeah. See if any more can find you in the rain. What did you say, sorry?

Hyes. Is that what you said? I believe so. Yeah, okay. No more twig blights are able to find you, but you can hear them rustling around in the fucking rain. And Hector, it's your turn. I would like to drop my shield, grab my spear in both hands, and start going to town on the werewolf in front of me. Just stab twice, all the while, perhaps even, like what's the saying,

perhaps even just screaming of just, I showed you, mercy i gave you the benefit of the doubt i am so tired of this and i want to stab twice and i will smite twice on both attacks both attacks hit what what smite are we doing here i uh the rate two second level burn through them mm-hmm fuck yeah too too angry to think yeah to get like that second level i showed you mercy i wanted you to be better than you are and this is what you do and stab them twice smite them twice you deal 44 46 points of damage to this werewolf it is bloodied but not dead the war wolf is fucked though as you stab again and again and again hector looking at the spear you see there is no blood on it.

The spear sucks in, draws in any blood thirstily, hungrily. You can also see that any angelic appearance, any influence by Peñae is fading with every stab. Well, that's a good sign. But every stab feels better than the last as the influence of Eileen within you drinks hungrily on the lycanthropy, the life of lycanthropy. It dully occurs to you that Eileen is the god. of death. Not undead zombies, although zombies are the dead, uh, uh, evil undead creatures

do tend to worship her as they see themselves as kind of aligned with Eileen, but Eileen actually has no interest in the undead. Eileen is about death. And lycanthropy is a disease that extends life. And Eileen enjoys the spilling of werewolf blood. And I guess I also enjoy the spilling of werewolf. That's nice to know. Yeah. The werewolf backs up and you can see

panic begin to set in in its face. Hector, your two allies, one of the nights, she grabs him, gives him kind of like a from behind bear hug

and you can see she's trying to fucking choke this werewolf out. She's wrapped, that's the one with the messed up arm. You see she wraps it around and the arm is fucked. She can't really do much with it

but she's locking it in place with her other arm and she's skis. squeezes against the werewolf's bulging neck, while the other one, the unwounded one, ducks around to the same side as you, Hector, she just puts up her dukes and starts fucking punching into the werewolf's chest.

These ladies rock. That is, they are unable to damage the werewolf, but I'm going to say you have, well, you already had advantage, but I'm going to say the werewolf, maybe now the whale wolf has disadvantage to attack you. Hey, that's something. Oh, and...

Your good friend, Rahadin, gets to fight back. Nice. You see a splash of werewolf blood hit the ceiling. Oh, that's good to hear. And you actually can't see Rahdin. The werewolf is so big and crowding around him that he's lost from your sight. Pip. You see as a needle blight, they're about humanoid sized.

A needle blight flies across the field. It's the engineer's turn. The engineer looking at you, Pip. You need to make a quick insight check. All right, you see this. Pip, the engineer looks at you and you can see he's about to say something. Then he says it to the group instead of you.

Fair enough. Where are we going next? We need to light up the battlefield, I say. We're blind with all this rain. The two arms of the mech come together and they flip around to form. kind of a table in front of the engineer. His, he

retracts his, he was kind of like controlling this mec, he retracts his two hands and you see as well, hands, he retracts his two claws from the machine and you see as he bends over this table now in front of him his arms switch through

a bunch of different tools in rapid succession. Very quickly he makes a teeny tiny little once again, you don't know what these weapons are called, but he makes a gun. similar to what Kamandish has. Except it's got a huge flared head to it. He grabs it, points it up into the sky, and then kutonk,

it fires a bolt up into the air. When the bolt reaches its maximum height, it flares. Hell yeah. And light bathes the scene. He casts daylight. You see everything snaps into stark contrast now, Pip. You can see Iona is tussling with two vine blights. One of them has her from behind and is kind of forcing her in a similar way that the knights are bear-hugging the whale.

This vine blight is bear-hugging Iona from behind as she looks bloody and wounded as hell. You can see her shirt is torn open. and there's bloody gashes all down her front. As the other vine blight, it swings again and again and again, and its hands become like cat of nine tails lashing into Iona. You can see Gorob, Lushin, and Tarpos are on kind of the opposite side of you. Iona and those two vine blights are at one end. And then at the other side, you can see Gorob Lushin Tarpos.

Tarpos is making, you did not realize it wasn't a couple of these plants with twig blight, They were all twig blights. And Tarpos, like a... Tarpos is wading her way through them, destroying them one after another with every swing of her of the blood spear. And Gorob Lushin kind of back to back with her are fighting, sending huge bursts of ice and flames

and swings of the Great Sword. They're kind of wading their way through the thick of it, basically. Yeah. Iona is in trouble Yeah Does it look like Does it look like Garbon Lushin and Talpas are also kind of in trouble as well?

No, they're You can see they're breaking a sweat And taking blows This is not easy for them Yeah But Iona is the one who definitely needs help Okay, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah

And what is sort of like governing these twig blights Like can I see throw out the sort of army of twig blights and vine blights and stuff. Druids? Yes. There are two druids left. Sorry, no, wait, one druid left. Forgive me. There's one druid left and there's two needleblights. You know that needleblights can also act as as lieutenants. Okay. Three in total. They are evenly spaced as well. You can see that they've

on purpose separate one. Oh, sorry. No, they're not. The druid is over where Tarpos, Gorov, and Lashen are, but the two needle blights are fighting ion. Okay. Oh, right. Yes. Okay. of course. I think, right. Okay, Cavendish, to me, Iona's fucked. Engineer, it's funny, I'd never really use his name. Engineer... You don't know his name.

No one's ever asked. Engineer, you head for the Druid. Take him out, that'll disrupt the rest of the blights. And then I'm going to head towards Iona. The engineer looks at Cavendish, who nods, and then he does it. Fair enough. I get it. I get it.

It's that druid's turn. Pip, you can see the druid cites you turning to or not, well, indicating, pointing towards him and then that druid is going to try and beat a hasty retreat. The druid, you see a flare of magic and then as the druid turns and starts sprinting away, the mud beneath it starts pushing him along

like it's helping him run. He gets pretty far, but that's his turn. Pip, it's your turn. Okay, can I rush toward where I owner is? Yep. How close do you want to get? Five feet? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right up in there.

No, far enough away that she's within range. Yeah, that's all I'm looking for. Okay. Well, you can do that and still have an action. All right. Then I would like to, I'll use my last focused shot to, Is it worth it just to go meticulous again? Get that advantage.

Yeah, I will. I'll use my last focus shot to fire an arrow into each of the vine blights. All right. What sort of damage? It'll be fire. Fire? I'm probably not going to change it from...

I don't want it to be electricity because that might hurt I own. Cold, that's not going to do shit for me right now. Well, with a vine blights. I know you want to get them colder than hot, but I might be able to just get them with hot. Yeah, okay. It just does more base damage, kind of.

It's that trade-off of... And it was already pretty cold. Yeah, it's raining. They'd be freezing. Not cold enough, unfortunately. That worked in the snow, but not here. Unfortunately, you should have read your Emmanuel. See?

The fire does nothing. Cold before fire, dude. You know this. Yeah, I know. I'm in a panic. Double 20s on the second attack. But, yeah, fine. damage is still going to do nothing. Actually, because the first attack, you can see the fire

damage did not affect. The fire immediately snuffs out on the vine blight. The second one, I'll allow you to change the damage type. Yeah, no worries. Let me just open my Emanuel in real life. Blight, vine, known to many as the greater blight. These suckers are made of, as the name of wood would suggest, a mass of creepers and vines held together by wood this author could only surmise, spit elbow grease, and a bit of druidic magic. And, also hatred. They are also uniquely terrifying among the blight family for being the only known variety of blight to be

capable of speech, which they often engage in to their own amusementeth and to the terror of the hunter hunting them. One should keep caution as the vine blight's regular, as well as specialist attacks, will sprout further vine appendages to affix thy in place and allow easy

dispatchal, with its normal blows with vine fist, to be sticky as to further entrap and entangle, and its explosive grenade-like attacks, causing an area to be engulfed in the same. If caught in such a blow, the Savvy Hunter shall have a concoction of liquid cold at the ready to cause the vines to willingly contract, as this is the safest method of removal, as you should consider the vines to be as the leech, but without the blood-suckingeth nature.

As they are creatures from warm places, supposedly, but even though they are capable of speech, that doth not make them also truth-tellers, they are immune to fire and poison damages, resistant necrotic as they are weeds and refuses to rot though they can be seen as vulnerable to cold because it interferes with their preferred temperature. Get your head on straight pip. I'll change it to cold

and I'll fire my second shot will be a cold one. All right. Critical make my second shot a cold one, buddy. A cold one with the bodies. Yeah. Distracting job or distracting job. Now, they are actually different effects. First or second?

Second distracting jab, I guess. Quadruple damage, and the target must make a DC-16 constitution-saving throw on a failed save. The target is disadvantaged on attacks for the next four six rounds. I don't think that'll happen. Yeah, I think you just ruined that tree's day. Absolutely. All right, so this gets doubled. That becomes 14.

Then all of it gets quadruple. 14 and 7. equal 21, quadruple that, it is 84. Jesus Christ. Where has his been? Where has this been the whole time? Every other fucking time I've rolled with advantage, it's been like, oh yeah, not quite, not quite. I'm going crazy this fight.

The crossbow bolt, thunk, hits the vine blight. There's a one second delay. And then the vine blight gets very small, and then explodes. Awesome That was the Vine Blight Holding Iona So she gets released Werewolves

Mm It's Weirwolves in London attack Oh damn And the Werewolf tries to attack You, Hector But is

actually to disadvantage That's the tank Say it Even with Well of course Adam And the second attack

Is a miss Okay First attack deals Nine points of damage Yeah easy come easy go You know hey Yeah That was the werewolf

Sinking its teeth into you The two knights are trying to hold it back But it As you're stabbing The werewolf bites your wrist Turning and snapping it You feel Now every time you stab

You feel a sharp jolt of pain Leaping along your arm But it does not It does not slow you down That is that well turn. The other one attacks our good friend Rahadin. You hear the

clashing of teeth upon steel. Hell yeah. It is Iona's turn. Finally freed for the first time since basically this fight began. She is free to fight back. I'm just glad she's not dead. I was so sure she was dead, dude. Yeah, man. He'd not want to have to tell Elaine your

point. She's going to be a mother soon, dude. Yeah, exactly. I was not looking forward to that. You know? To the untrained die, it looks like Iona just grabs at nothing. But you, Pip, are vaguely aware that she is grabbing at the strings of magic itself. You see, she grabs them, and then pulls them in towards her. She pulls in so hard that her feet briefly leave the ground. And then when she snaps them back, the vine blight in front of her needs to make a saving

throw, which it fails. it with a boom is thrown bodily away from her. Fuck, awesome. She reaches down to her boots and once again it looks like to the untrained eyes she might just be tying her shoelaces

or invisible shoelaces. Once again, you see that she must be pulling at the strings of the magical weave and then with incredible speed she runs and is at your side and at Cavendish's side. Okay, awesome.

You can see, once again she's bleeding heavily she looks badly wounded you can see some of those blows have a black ooze and an eye core to them she is possibly poisoned okay

it's Cavendish's turn Cavendish you see as the as the Vine Blight soars through the air he tracks it with his rifle crack he blasts that Vine Blight out of the air and then turning around He starts scanning the horizon

And slowly leveling the rifle He tracks something you can't see A second crack And the remaining twig blights All start standing in a bit of a daze Awesome And that is his turn The twig blights

Need a moment to recompose themselves As they are now working on their own And they are not clever Hector, it's your turn With anger and fury in my eyes, I just start. With that spear and I attack twice, I set him free with a very simple. I showed a little bit of compassion. And yet, and yet!

Your first attack is a regular hit, but your second attack, pierced ear or between the shoulders? Ooh. Between the shoulders. And I want a smite. All right. What level of smite are we doing? Just the one. Yeah.

Just the one. All right. So, no need to roll because maximum double damage. You hit that werewolf between the shoulders, aka the throat. Piercing straight, like how you killed the other werewolf. Mm-hmm. And so that would be just one level is 2D8 and a D6. So 6 plus 8 plus 8 is 22 plus another 7 for, yeah, you killed. You kill another werewolf.

Uh-huh. Just all the while, just screaming. gave you just a chance, a small chance! And then I want to turn onto the other werewolf. Maybe I'll just like either stow or like drop the spear and pick up the silver shield. And I want to start just walking towards the werewolf that is fighting Rahadan. And I get under, maybe it's under my breath, just like just start muttering. Like, if they do not, then you must break them.

When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most, when does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard. When the barbecues lit, but there's nothing to grill, when the in-laws decide that actually they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer, so download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus, enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees exclusions and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver.