D&D is For Nerds - Barovia IV #7 A Barovian Sunrise

Episode Date: September 20, 2025

I wish it didn't end this way, but just as day gives way to night, the sun has set on this man's life. As your warming rays begin to fade, we look back and find solace in a life well spent. May their memory, like the sun's enduring embrace, continue to bless us from the heavens. We pray that your radiant light leads them to their eternal sunset. And just as night returns to day, we welcome the oncoming dawn as your light chases away the shadow.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oi, lads, did you miss out on the Jaron's Outpost Kickstarter and wish you weren't such a big doofus? Well, fear not. Late pledges are now open and they'll be open for a little while, so just head to Kickstarter search for D&D for Nerds or Jaron's Outpost and slam that late pledge button. Although you see no water for miles around, you are, like us, marooned. You're stranded in this sad and lonely place called Barovia. To mix metaphors, we are incarcerated.

The fog that surrounds us are the bars of our dungeon, and Baron von Strade is out jailer. As far as I can tell, there is only one way out, and that is to kill Devil Strad. I'll dump the guy down on the ground and be like, this is the fella that was sort of strapped down over the well. I might go check the well. This time, as you head back over to the well, Cavendish comes with you. instead. As you walk, I assume both of you are keeping your like heads on. Yes, yeah, yeah, absolutely. A hundred percent. You get back over to the well and you, how do you, what are you investigating? I just want to first of all,

like, look down it to see what I can see. And then if I can't see anything, maybe I, like, light a torch and drop it down to see how deep the well goes. Just to see, basically what I want to determine is, did they pick the well because there's some significance to the well? Or was this just like a good place to tie them up. Yeah, you're like, you know, go under there. That's where the coffin is. Yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah. Well, I don't think I described this originally, but the well is, if you imagine, kind of a very classic looking well. It's a small ring of stones, bricked, and mortared together, and then above that is a wooden shield from the elements with a bucket attached to that. You can see that the bucket is gone. That

element has been possibly broken away, and the old man was strapped to that roof, the wooden part. You look down into the well, it descends down into darkness. The sun is probably well and truly set by now. So there's nothing for you to see in this level of light. You light a torch, drop it down. As the torch tumbles end over end, you watch it bounce. It falls pretty far. You watch it bounce quite a few times on the inside of the well, and then when it lands, You spot that it lands on, not someone, but some ones. There's bodies down there. Well, I think we might have just found the rest of the wear ravens.

Cavendish, who's also looking down the well, grimaces and says, yes, it's not good to leave them down there. We should collect them. You got any rope? Cavendish takes his backpack off, starts rummaging through it, and he produces a hundred foot of rope. I'll tie it to the thing that the sort of pole that the bucket is normally attached to

and then I'll kind of like wrap it around my hand and kind of get onto the rope and stop drop it down into the well I guess I will need a torch I guess I can just whatever I light another torch and I start descending down the well Kevin Dish lights a he has a lantern he lights that and props it in such a way

that it provides light up the top of the well as well and then you watch as he with that rope before you maybe before you do this He wraps it around himself as well and kind of braces it on himself so that he can lower and raise you as needed. Yeah. Before I go down, actually,

I am going to make just, you know, I've just, let's be better safe than sorry. I'm going to get a pinch of shadow. I'm going to get some mimic guts. Pinch of shadow is for undead vein. A pinch of guts for adhesive. And then let's go

let's go another raven feather to make just some undead damaging arrows did I fuck it up Do you have anything for skill checks specifically intelligence-based stuff?

No, I'm not a good boycott Yeah, you unfortunately whiff it You whip it pretty badly Maybe you're making it Over the well You accidentally drop Oh yeah

Damn it That's okay I have more of each I'll try again Just thinking I don't want to get down there I'm saying as I'm doing this And, you know, I started attaching the first wear raven to the rope,

and then all of a sudden they all rise up and then I'm devoured. No, I understand completely. Just trying to be safe. No, it's clever. Yeah. How'd I do with the second attempt? On the second attempt, you do a bit better. While you're re-attempting,

Cavendish is just kind of making idle conversation with you. You see him still scanning around? Oh. Bad boycott for me. Oh, uh-oh. Um, yeah, you, uh, you make, you continue to make idle conversation with Cavendish. Yeah. You completely miss anything that he's putting down.

Yeah, he puts something down. You do not pick it up. I'm too busy focused on this. As you complete the, the potion, not the potion, sorry, the oil to apply to your weapon. And you're about to, maybe right as your, like, boots are firmly planted on the side of the well. You're about, Cavendish is about to start lowering you down. That is the moment where you notice an unpleasant expression on his face, but you have no significant. You do not understand what that is about as he starts lowering you down.

Okay. Whatever. People are pissed off at me all the time. You don't even know if he's pissed off at you. That's what Pip assumes. Yeah, okay. Okay. He starts lowering you down.

Yep. All right, that will be a, and I'll give you advantage because Cavendish is helping you, that will be an athletics check. I don't have a climbing speed, don't you? I do have a climbing speed, that's true, yeah. Oh, well, never mind then. You don't need to make the check. You just slowly start making your way.

You descend down into the well. As you get further and further down. Oh, did you say you lit a torch? Yeah, I would have lit a torch. Where are you keeping that? Holding it in my teeth? Okay, that's... I am resistant to fire, so if it's tickling my face with the flames...

I'm assuming the torch that you dropped would have burnt out by you? Yes, I think so, yeah. Probably not. No? Okay, well... A torch will burn for an hour. I think that's... fine and there's as you get down

there's no water for it well there is water but the water is underneath quite a few bodies yeah yeah yeah yeah so I think the torch down there would still be lit by the time you get down there well I'll use that I'm sorry I think a torch lasts for anyway it doesn't matter the torch lasts easily for long enough for you to have fucked up one

attempted an oil succeeded at a second attempt and then climbed down the wall all right great well then when yeah I'll just I won't bring torch with one in your mouth as well I was just thinking the not even the fire it was the logistics of holding like they're not small. Holding it in your mouth ain't as easy as holding like a dagger in your mouth. But you have a big mouth. Yes, exactly. I got a big dragon-ball mouth. The rope is famously not flammable. That's what I've

heard. I imagine this rope would be purposely treated to prevent it from burning like that. But anyway, you get down to the bottom of the well. Yeah. So you get that far down and you can see, like I said, the torch is sitting on top of a body. You can see maybe it's starting to smolder some of the clothes but the corpses down here are damp enough that you don't think a proper fire is going to catch

you don't think there's any solid ground like if you started standing on bodies you would start sinking Oh no There's water still in this well Okay Can I just sort of like

investigate the corpses Sure Oh good boycard Yes All right there are four corpses here Yep There are a woman A man

And then two you, they're all human two like young adults like you might guesstimate 20 and 20 or early 20s. Okay. Late teens, early 20s.

Do they look like significant in any way? Like do they like basically why would they throw these four down the well because I know there were more people at the Wizards of Wines. What do you mean you know there were more people? Well like there would have been staff and stuff. These, surely there weren't five people at making all the wine.

No, you did well enough on your investigation track No, this would be enough to run a winery God damn Pip doesn't know how a winery works I guess Well, no, he does, he rolled well enough Yeah, you do, yeah, this would be enough people To run a winery Well, including, I mean like, yeah, like five people

You know, it's not an easy life But no life in Barovia is easy This would be enough people to run a winery Of this size, at least Do I think that I'd be able to attach one of these bodies to the rope for Cavendish to pull up? You could, yeah. It would be difficult

because... Because... It's so solid ground. Yeah. I made a second rope. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Can Cavendish hear me? Yeah, you can hear you. If I let go of the rope, Cavendish, I'll drown. Can you throw another rope down?

And I'll attach the bodies. There's four people down here. One moment, let me tie you off. Okay. The rope kind of jerks a little bit as you imagine Cavendish is tying it to something. thing and then flash a second rope falls down all right so this is going to be tricky but holding on to the one rope yeah can i tie the first body to the second rope yeah or at least attempt to i won't make your role you one by one slowly take the bodies out of the well each one as it

lifts up you there's a brief moment where you come kind of face to face with this person and you look in well maybe you don't yeah but you certainly the faces if you look at them confront you as one by one each of them is raised out of the well yeah uh once they're all out of the well is there anything else in here but uh actually do you would you like look at them yeah you see familial resemblance okay between them and also the person who you found strapped to the well you think this was a family that's unfortunate um once they're pulled out is there anything else in the well once all of the bodies are out of the well, looking down, you see cold brackish water. I mean, beyond just desecrating some corpses,

which you know that the druids like to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think that this had the... Tainted the water supply. You don't want to drink this water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think I stay in the well for a little bit longer. Just kind of like, not enjoying it down there, but in some way being like, yeah, imagine if I could just stay in the well and then I'll start climbing out. Okay. You climb back up. You see, when you get back to the top,

you can see that Cavendish has neatly arranged the four corpses and he's got a blanket lying across each of them. How did the druids, I mean, they were so good at hiding all these years, the Mardukov family, I mean. Yes, I'm aware of the family. Wizards of Wines Wine was plentiful up in Couthery

if you had the coin for it or script Yeah One of the few little bits of sweetness In Orlo Borovia Gone now We should bury him, I suppose Cavendish nods

He wanders back over to the camp And comes back with a shovel Who's gonna tell the old man I don't think we need to make that decision tonight Yeah, that's true Perhaps tomorrow. All right.

We'll start digging some graves. All right. You dig four neat graves. I assume Pip, I don't know actually if funeral rights

were much of Gregory Bones's bag. Wakes, probably. Yeah. That's where it was, you know, the post funeral

where you eat little sandwiches. Yeah, I was about to say, and have a tea and coffee. I bet you know perfectly how to cut those sandwiches. Absolutely.

But the actual funeral itself is not really, Yeah, that would be some other religion's job. Surely it would be a very neat affair. Yes, well, I mean, I suppose when we had to do it, there would be a very neat way to do it. People, yeah, worship Gregory, but they would die.

They would die. They do die. That's a good point. There would be, I would argue, that there would be some level of, like, funeral rights. Yeah, well, then maybe I, I perfectly with the shovel, cut, like, the most geometrically ideal graves that are the exactly, obviously, we don't have measuring tape, but if you did, You'd be like, that's exactly six foot. What the hell?

And then bury them. This is probably not a Gregory Bones thing. This is just a, I wouldn't necessarily even call it a custom embryo. More like a necessity. When you put the corpses to rest, you also put a heavy rock on each of them. Absolutely. And then covering them with soil, Cavendish acquires four more smaller, but still large rocks. and you see he carves kind of just like a generic, sort of,

because you don't know who these people are really, yeah, he carves a kind of generic like epitaph for each of them. I might go make that steak. I can meet you back at camp. Cavendish nods. Yes, I think I would appreciate a moment alone. Sure. All right.

And I'll head off into the woods, not too far away. I still want to be able to see the camp. Yeah. And I'll snap. a bit of wood off a tree and start carving it into a steak to kill kill over with. Okay. You come back with a steak. By the time you get back, Cavendish has had his moment alone, and everyone's back at camp.

A merry fire is crackling, and you can see, rather than talking loudly, both Gorob and Lushin are chewing on a very chunky, heavy, thick piece of jerky. It's the one piece of jerky. They are threatening to Lady and the Tramp each other. Awesome. Well, I just come in to sit down. I assume Cavendish has explained to everybody else in the camp what just happened. You could see there's a sombrowness to the mood.

You imagine he might have, yes. Well, then I just sit down and enjoy the warmth of the fire. Cavendish, while you're doing that, Cavendish is kind of pressing Tarpos for information, getting her to kind of draw a map in the dirt. And you can see he's semi-strategizing. Okay. Well, maybe while he's doing that, I'll crack open Emmanuel

and I'll read through the vampire flowchart for my own, you know, for Kolova. Let's see if I can find it. Just to make sure that, you know, it's all good. Yeah, that we know exactly what we're doing. It's a forest vampire, but it's also... What am I doing? Tearing it up.

You're tearing up your Emmanuel. Does the Dracula live outside? Yes, but that leads you to city places, which is inaccurate. So no. Does the Dracula live near sea level? Yes. Does the Dracula live near somewhere green? Yes.

Does it stand in open water? No. Does the Dracula yearn for wide open spaces? I imagine so. Place with many trees can turn into a giant elk. Did that. Fucked us up. Cannot enter home uninvited, yes.

Knows when you enter its forest. So that's what I'm assuming is the situation. Well, where did I get the idea of making your own steak? It's also nice with the flow chart is that you can kind of work backwards as well Yes, yeah, absolutely You notice them turning into an elk You're like, ah, okay, and then what do we need?

I don't know if I want to stand in open water Yeah, that's, but it does become an elk And none of the others do, so You can see that the old man Someone has put a blanket, presumably Iona Has put a heavy blanket around him and he is all of you are sitting around the fire he is also sitting with you at the fire

he's shivering but you don't think from the cold and he's not making any noise now okay pips not pressing him that's that's not his business you know pipp i think is literally just reading through emmanuel can we you can see castle ravenloft from anywhere can't you yeah yeah and then very occasionally glancing up at castle ravenloft doing a little head shake and then going back to

emmanuel okay yeah that's that's all i do the whole night until everybody goes to sleep. At one point in the night, Pip, you hear the crack of a gunshot, but no one comes to get you. Oh. Well, I roll out of bed to see what happened. Cavendish, you could see, is reloading slowly. What's wrong? He looks over at you and he says, wolves.

Okay. You're all good? How many? I'm not sure. I just saw a pair of eyes in the night, roughly wolf hide. Okay. do you need here i'll sit up i sit up at the campfire and i scan for the wolves looking around you don't see any sign of wolves not from where you're standing regular

wolf height dire direst um i do with my hand i do where each the eyes would be he looks at you and kind of shrugs and says i don't know really how far away it was i just saw the eyes okay does it feel like there's something unsaid happening here? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yep.

You can see Cavendish is very calm about everything. That's weird. Unnervingly calm. And your gunshot scared away, I'm assuming? Yeah. Okay.

We can go hunting if you want. No, I don't think so. Are you feeling all right? Yes, I'm feeling. fine. What do you mean? Just checking. Tapos, Gorob and Lushin are also getting... Well, you hear, before you see Gorob and Lushin.

What the devil is that? Devil, do you mean your mother? And then one of the tense starts, like, kind of rummaging back and forth. They're getting worse. They're getting worse. They are getting worse, dude. Iona, standing

next to you, Pip. What is the matter? Cavendish thought he saw a wolf. Where is the old man? She starts looking around a little bit of panic in her face I look around too You can't see him Do you know where he went?

Cavendish Cavendish looks at you and he shakes his head I didn't see him Do I believe him? Get a good boy card, yeah Okay He still seems very calm Like he's not terribly worried

Iona looks at you Pip And says We should form search parties Quickly I'm so suspicious of everyone What does he say like with calm Is it a magical calm Is he just an emotion

Spell over them? Is he just like Why is he chill? Tapos also standing up. She chimes in. She's just come into the conversation. She chimes in and she says, man, old, where? He's gone missing. People are suggesting

a search party, which maybe is a good idea. Tapos nods. She doesn't really say anything forth of that. She's kind of like, almost like she's waiting for someone else to take charge there. Well, does anybody have a spell? Maybe that's safer, some way to detect somebody out there in the darkness, in the woods.

One of the tents tears as sonder as the engineer in his mech bursts out of it. Of course. Do you have, is that why you burst out of your tent or you just? The engineer looks at you. I wasn't privy to whatever's happening a moment ago. Okay. You have control of this situation. Let me tell you.

Cavendish Steps forward Maybe sensing that you're kind of hesitant Search parties would be good The engineer Tarpos could head in one direction Gorb Lush and I owner another And he's pointing in the directions

And Pip, you're with me Okay You had How many groups is that? Is that three or four? Yeah, three You head in roughly Like he, the way he gestured

He would have placed Or spaced as much distance in between as possible to try and cover as much space as possible. I think I have my crossbow. Pip doesn't... Something's wrong. Yeah. And I think...

And I don't know if Pip's just so paranoid as a guy that he's like, someone's about to betray me, or is more likely, actually, Cavendish is under some kind of effect. It's kind of what Pip's thinking. Some creature, some monster has him in his core. I like to think that he's just kind of like, this is him going military. like, this is his military training, just kicking in. Yeah. And you're not stepping up.

Absolutely. I think there's a good chance that's what's happening too. And, like, there's nothing magical. There's no paranoia here, but Pip is so... Pip is so... Worry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That he's like something...

I'm about to be shot in the back of the head. Cavendish, similar to you, has his weapon at kind of a low-ready state. Like, it's in his hands. He's pointing it, but not in any direction. He's aiming specifically so that he can bring it to bear very quickly. Yeah. But he's... Both of you are being very...

aware of the, you know, like weapon safety and stuff like that. Yeah, of course, of course. Anyway, now, how are, all right, so if you and Kavanagh are walking kind of next to each other, would you walk perfectly side by side, a little in front or a little behind? I think PIP purposefully takes this a little behind. All right. I'm covering our tracks is sort of the way I'm acting about it. So do every now and then, when you say you're covering your tracks, do you mean you're checking behind you every now and then? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. At one point, when you check behind you, you see a pair of eyes.

Okay. They are glinting in the darkness behind you. They disappear almost immediately, as immediately as they appeared. But you recognize them definitively as being roughly wolf or dog height. Okay. Can I... It's hard to judge. Once again, it happens very quickly and at some, enough distance that it's hard for you to tell in the darkness if it, how big this

thing was. Okay. Well, I didn't hear, I've heard no howling. So, not a diarist wolf. That's my assumption. But it could be a regular dire wolf or just a wolf. Well, if I see the eyes, I

smack Cavendish in the back. You try to, and you hit nothing but air. I'd swivel around, well, kind of keeping my eye, to where the wolf eyes were, I swiveled to where Cavendish was. Cavendish isn't there. Cavendish? No one responds.

Of course. Yeah, of course. All right. You hear from several directions at once growling. Okay. Do I have a torch? Pep. Pep. Mandarin.

No. What the hell? Out of the darkness. I killed you. Half of its face torn away. I fucking killed you. The huge looming menace of Boris

appears. I killed you. I killed you. I killed you. Man, there am. Boris leaps at you, Pip. Oh, fuck, dude. Come on. Boris plants two meaty paws on either of your shoulders

and knocks you to the ground. You immediately smell the stench of decay and death. Boris is not a living creature. Yeah, of course. Typical. Okay. Fighting with Boris, Boris leans down and snap, snap, snap, snap is trying to bite.

You have both of your claws, both of your hands on each of Boris's top front paws, trying to wrestle with him. You manage for a brief second to throw him off you. You sit, bolt upright, pip, and your head smacks the top of the tent. Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. The night passes by uneventally. Okay.

I fall back down onto my bed roll, but I probably don't sleep the rest of the night. Oh, thank God. Well, yeah, it's Gorob and Lush and who are in the same tent as you. Why did I do that? What did I fucking pick the short straw? When you were away sharpening the wooden steak, they'd already decided who was sleeping in what time. It's a wonder I got to sleep at all. Yeah, they're lumbering snores keeping.

you up the rest of the night. If not the what just happened would keep you up. Honestly, I'd probably leave the tent. You're going to sit by the smoldering fire until morning. Okay. Yeah, the night passes by uneventfully. Jesus Christ, Adam. Come on, man. Don't scare me like that. The next day,

Hector, you... It wasn't like a night of hard drinking or anything like that. Well, I'd like to think, because similar to, I guess, with Pip making... I'm assuming we would also done... I don't know how quickly Bobbitt would have gone. and spoken to Gretchen

and to kind of like calm them down but in that interim would have been maybe with Rahadden's like assistance would have started digging graves would I know enough about like werewolves to know like their burial rights they do worship the god like they do

the I believe you found her name I think we did I think you did know her name but I don't think you'll know her burial rights I don't think he rolled that well. Certainly, I'm saying it's an obscure enough religion, and I doubt you were taught this at seminary. Fair enough.

I just don't think they would have done that. Well, I guess in that case, because, like, I, knowing about Borovia and knowing that, like, gods are also trapped in here as much as we are. Mother Knight is her name. Yes. Like, they do the great hunt and all of that. It would be, yeah.

So, like, getting all the bodies out, Maybe even asking Rahadin if they might know of like the burial rights of Mother Night or the werewolves. Rahadin, he might know something actually. No. Okay. Never mind then. Rahadin shakes his head sadly and he says, The master did not feel fit to inform me too much of the werewolves' religious rights when he sent me here.

It was more of a political endeavor. my apologies for that Is there other I guess Werewolf tribes around There are no Tribes such as this one But there are

Well No I speak a lie There are tribes But they are not of Borovia And they will be Hostile on site To certainly me As an agent of Strad

That might sound strange to you That a werewolf would be hostile immediately to an ancient of Strad? Right. Why would... I thought all the were... All the werewolves of Borovia are, but there are places beyond

the mists do lead somewhere. And you can walk between the mists? I could, should the master allow, but... Right, of course. He has not seen fit to... It is not within my purview as his servant.

Right. Well, I guess we'll start digging some graves. Yeah, start digging the graves for the werewolves. I know enough to do the whole, like, you know, actually, no, it would be... You would know funeral rights for gnomes and penny. Yeah, of course. But like, would it be graves or would it be... I've been a little random brovier enough now that.

I'm like, it's a fire. Like, we build a pyre, right? Because you don't want them coming back. That is smart. You probably would have seen either a very... of the bury them, put a heavy rock on them. Or yes, a funeral pyre would be common as well. Yeah, there's a lot of queries.

Yeah. Yeah, you don't want them coming back, dude. To be, wow, I mean, yes. When you have seen funerals occur, you've seen a lot of bodies, but you haven't seen as many funerals. When you have seen a funeral occur, yeah, it would be a variation of either heavy rock

if you're being buried or a, yeah, a pyre. Yeah, okay. I think we did, yeah. And considering there are five werewolves, well, not just five human beings, nude humans. And then, well, well, in six, almost werewolf. Yeah, I would start building a pyre. Well, maybe while you're doing that, Rahdin, he, I mean, I don't think there's enough space on a table. But he takes all of the bodies and he neatly arranges them.

And you see as, as he's doing it, he finds just somewhere, he finds, just somewhere. like a saucer. He fills it with a bit of water and he starts washing their hands as as you do what you're doing. Okay. Yeah, I imagine we would try and do this like probably at the front where it's like, yeah, a bit of open space that we can actually do all this. Maybe actually because Bobbitt and Gretchen are there. Maybe you do it where you had the meeting with Emil. There's that outside platform because it's, yeah, it's open and then they don't have to watch. Yeah, yeah. I guess, yeah. Do you take Sir Felhardt as well?

Probably not. I'd be doing this with the... The five... The O.G. Whirls. And I'd be waiting for Bobbitt to have the conversation with Gretchen to then have a conversation with them to be... Your funeral, probably... Their conversation probably takes longer than your funeral.

You hear every now and then from Gretchen the... You can see, actually, from your vantage point, you can see they're sitting on a stump, a little ways outside of the cave. you can see Bobbitt and Gretchen are sitting talking talking to each other and at a few moments Gretchen kind of like throws herself into Bobbitt like wrapping around him hugging crying

and Bobbitt comforts her as best as he can wait for like I guess a lull into their conversation before joining their conversation well that happens you you walk over to where they are on the log sorry I really do wish we had met under better circumstances

By the way, I am Sir Hector I guess at this point you could probably call me Sir Hector Wolfsbane Certainly killed more of them than I have a dragon I am Sir Hector I am a knight of the cloth Serving Gnomes in Pena from Candle

Believe you are also from there Sir Gretchen nods and she kind of stammeres through Sir Sir, Sir Gretchen Order Order of the roads Knight of Gulliver

It's a pleasure to meet you Do I recognize any of that Yes And no So you recognize She's saying that she's also Like you a knight of the cloth Obviously

She said those exact words But she said that she's from The Order of the Roads Which you do recognize as a now long, this would be, the only way you would recognize this order is from like

being taken through some great hall with the heralds of all the orders, old and a past and present, and there would be a section devoted to orders that no longer exist. Of course. And the Order of the Roads is one of those ones that no longer exist. She is a

paladin, if you will, or not just knight, of Gulliver, a dead god. Dulliver was killed for you a long, long, long, last time ago, yeah. So I'm guessing, just to make some, like, real big leaps here, a knight of the road, that would be perhaps the king's road, which I'm assuming would have been, you know, a great undertaking at some point in Candle's history, which would have been like, yes,

it would have taken maybe either multiple kings under their, like, rule ship to be built. And I'm assuming that they would have been like, yet we need either protection of like when we are building that road and then of course protection of people traveling that road until it is more established and I'm assuming that that would have taken several sort of like you know you know generations maybe so I'm just trying to think would I know who maybe like the kings at the time who that might have been there were a lot of kings yeah I'm assuming there would have been probably too many a lot of kings

lot of queens are there so many that it you it's not so much oh i don't know all these names it's more there are so many names that i couldn't even guess which one she would know gotcha gotcha gotcha right and gulliver is the god of i know it's a dead god but it was the god of do i travel of travel yeah okay okay and do did did another god rise up to replace them as in the god of travel or were they just that god was dead and now there is no more long there's no longer a god of travel, it's now something else. So the story goes that the god Gazz, the god of assassins and death, was once a mortal man. And his motivations vary, depending on who tells the story.

In some variations, he did it out of delight, out of pure malice. And in some variations, he did it specifically to become a god. But the assassin Gazz slew Gulliver and drank his godly estuary. and then gained godhood himself by doing that. Right. Whatever the case, yeah. He killed Gulliver. And he's become the god of assassins.

It's a terrible moment. Basically, anyone who had a connection, a divine connection to Gulliver, any cleric or paladin or any similar, it drove them insane. I see. There was, yeah, there was like a lot of chaos at that, in that moment as basically a percentage of the population in Kandor all at once and randomly scattered just went

nuts. Okay. Was there like, is there a name of that, like in history? Would there be in a name of like, you know, the they just call it the death of Gulliver? Like the death like, yeah. Okay. Hearing all that then, it's just right, so you don't, you have never you haven't probably even heard of gas.

She shakes her head slowly. It is a... I look at, like, I look at her... Like, I look at it. Yeah. I then, like, you know, understanding that, like, you know, what she's been through. I had a story for another day. Probably for the best. Hector, depending, if she gets out of Barovia, depending on when she gets sent back.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's all ticking in my head because to be like, well, if she gets sent to Barrowa, but she's sent to my time, well, then she's instantly severed. So does that, is that also bad? Well, that also, or is it because it's so far away or so?

It didn't happen to it. She comes in, like, after the fact. Yeah. Do you feel your connection to Gulliver currently out of curiosity? When I came to Borovia, my connection to Penny, I was somewhat severed, but there is essences of Penny here, at least, mourning lord, that we can draw on. She thinks for a little while. I can feel something.

is, I don't know, something strange, she says. It feels like, um, it feels like my, my connection is frozen, perhaps. It's maybe not frozen. It feels like moving slowly. It's hoping a sliver of Gulliver is here. So was your, you're a gesture to, to fell hard. Was, uh, she said she was a member of the crown. Was she also a worshipper of?

I love her. Um, no, she, uh, she, you really, you watch as Gretchen mentally, mentally needs to change current tense to past tense. Yeah. And you watch as that fucking destroys her. She, she did not, um, I did not see her, um, observe much of her, uh, worship. Um, I do not know if she had much of a connection with the gods. We had only known each other for a little while, she says.

How long have you been a squire for? A few months. I'll maybe ask some like formal, like, just very brief, like, you know, training questions about, like, their squireship, like, even before they were a squire, all those kind of things. So maybe try and, like, ground them, calm them in the, if I can find some common ground there of just kind of, like, yes, I don't remember when I had to do this, had to list off all the fighting different devils email. Again, if it's a knight of the cloth, I'm assuming there would be some traditions. Yeah, surely. That have passed down.

Yeah. I mean, fighting a devil doesn't change very much. Yeah. You know. Sorry, what are you trying to learn from her? No, I'm not really learned, just kind of ground them. Get them to sort of like fall back onto their, either their training or to fall back onto kind of like, hey, you are a knight.

Yeah. We are knights. This fucking sucks. But, like. It's going to happen. It's going to happen and, you know, got to get your head on straight. Exactly. Oh, bad boycott.

Oh, no. Yeah, you kind of do it, but you do it wrong. You watch as you send by getting her to kind of relive her training and a bunch of practiced either mental or physical exercises. you watch as she kind of just shuts off. She becomes nothing but those mental and physical exercises. You, at least until she recovers from this, you will no longer really be having a conversation with her. Damn.

She can give you yes and no answers and not much else. You're good. This is good. I love this. I love this for me. I love this for Hector. Yeah. For Zammett. Me too. Yeah. Bobbitt, meanwhile, has gotten up and you see he's kind of wandering around. Just in that clearing where the cave is, you can see there's like clearly something on his mind. Gretchen, if, if. You leave Gretchen walking around a tree with, well, she doesn't have a sword, but like your dagger that you gave them. You see, it's an old, you would recognize this as well. It's an old, you would recognize this as well. It's an old,

trick to teach squires how to keep a steady hand, you would have them walk around a surface scratching a slight line into it and then when they come back around, the line should hopefully meet perfectly where it began. If you'd like to do the, maybe this is a way to combine everything of them just kind of trapped in their way and having a little bit of a minor major. Yeah. Yeah. I can give the funeral rights of Noms and Pena. to fell out but you were their squire so why don't you do

the funeral rights for Gulliver that might so again getting them to do the I guess the training for that and if there's anything you need let me know Gretchen pretty emotionlessly says

I head over to Bobbitt Bobbitt pauses as you approach he looks over at you you know you don't have to go through with this you're a very from what i can gather a good man you you can live can take a deal i would much rather not i understand the impulse to save as many lives as possible but you must consider the quality of that life should i fight this affliction it will

will eventually win. And I wish not to live such a life. Give in. You misunderstand me, Sir Hector. Giving in to this affliction is in my mind as much a death as one that you could deal. Yeah. Truth be told, if I was in your, would be fighting it everywhere. If you could, if you could meet yourself from before you came to this place,

before it changed you as it he looks you up and down as i see it unfortunately has if that younger self could see you now how strongly would it disagree with you would they be so horrified at who you have become that they would even fight you is that not a different person sir hector is that not a death in itself do not think the old me would understand the gravity of the situation, and will this me, I think I know too much. Bobbitt nods, our big heart will weigh you down. Tell me about you. If you would, uh, there's anyone out there on the other side where you're from, if you would like them to know anything or say anything to them, I can, like you,

I can write a letter. I cannot promise you. I will get it, but I will do my best to pass on your words but i am a traveler a trader a merchant um uh do you know um the do you know the dry steps yes i know the dry steps you know them as an uninhabited wasteland yeah uh yeah i know the dry steps? I am from a small town there. That's that's very strange that there's a town there. Yeah. Right. Oh. Not much lives in the dry steps. Hmm. Well, you know, it makes sense because it's so far, you know, so long ago. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess at one point it probably wouldn't have been, you know, uninhabitable. One point it would have been lush, mostly a bit dry, but yeah. Oh, right. Um, a town, right. We,

made our money in silks my family um my father was a uh a up i suppose like a fisherman of sorts um after his own fashion not a particularly good one though so enigmatic a fisherman of sorts after his own fashion what's he doing to get the fish it feels like he's casting a spell directly into the lake or something yeah or he's singing them out of the water There are, um, do you, how well do you know? Fish or? No, um, there are creatures, uh, within the sands. Oh, right.

A worm. Oh, right. I think I've heard tales of, of sorts. My father would, um, well, he would, for lack of a better term, fish for these. Right. Yes, our family is, um, like I come from, I guess, marble. Stonemason. Mm.

Right. So you didn't want... It's a great thing, he says, to build. Yes. To have a, I guess, a legacy. Mm. Bobbitt continues on telling you the story of his family. Those worms that live beneath the sands, they construct small spaces made out of a, like, a cocoon-like

sort of substance. And that substance can be woven into silk, which Bobbitt, after kind of taking up his father's trade determined that he could make more money selling that silk instead of selling the worms. Clever. Yeah. He began traveling as part of it. He made quite a lot of money doing that. He tells you some stories which kind of feel a bit strange to you.

Obviously, the world he knows is very different to the world you know. You pick up on some small differences. He talks about some elven cities that he had to travel through that you know no longer exist. And you slowly pick up on the fact that the dry steps are kind of small for him. He sees them as like not a very large, not a very large desert, whereas you know it as quite a large desert. Yes. He talks about some Cantonese features, which you don't know you've never heard of. He's never heard of places like maybe when he talks about bringing trade into Candor, you might think of Appleville, which is a very huge trade city.

He's never heard of it. And he's also never heard of the King's Trail either, the King's Road, that huge road that runs along. Interesting. Yeah, that's not a thing for him. This is even before that. Yeah. Wow, okay. The two knights that were with him, Gretchen and Fellhart, exists.

The Order of the Roads, you're right. They were pretty instrumental in the construction of the King's Trail. But before then, their order, the King's Trail, not just offering ease of travel, it also offers like a level of protection. Yeah, of course. Before then, the order of the roads were who offered protection to wagons and whatnot. So, yeah, like, even like, maybe, like, not trying to give up, like, not trying to give away that, like, I am, I'm a future man from the future. It's like every, like, you know, like, you know, oh, we got there, we're traveling. I'm like, oh, like, through the King's Road and they'd be like, oh, not at all.

I'm like, oh, you were even before that. Wow. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, continue. He seems pretty perplexed at the idea of a united gold crest. And you actually even need to explain to him what Goldcrest is. The city, the man, and the nation are way after his time.

Yeah. I guess at some point, but yeah, it's very strange. So, Barovia works. You maybe bond over the fact that Bull Ridge has really not changed. It's very fun to be like, yeah, time works very differently in Barthia. I am actually, yeah, for just many years. I have a very, like, bizarre conversation. Yeah.

In fact, it's funny because you've had a similar one with. Cavendish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's shocked at a bunch of things as well. Like you maybe tell him the, you tell him about Mara, the dwarven settlement way, way out, other side of the world. He's very shocked that there's, that settlement is on a huge chunk of rock. Like a, not as big as any of the major continents, but it's pretty big. Like Australia-sized. He's shocked. He didn't know that existed. As I guess The world ends up getting a lot

Bigger and smaller Its time goes by Is there much that you would tell him about Or anything that you might ask him about his time He does you as well about his family His family moved From the dry steps down to Also the Halfling Nation

Does not exist for him Yeah He's shocked to hear And you would know It's quite a commonly known thing That the Halfling Nation exists Because outside influences needed a central government to interact with.

He's shocked to hear that anyone was able to force the halfling, the roving halfling families to do that. I guess no one was more shocked than everyone else. I honestly think it's more just the fact that I know that I'm going to have to kill this man. And I just don't want him to just like, I want him to tell his story. And I want him to be at peace, I guess, with it all. And if there's anything that he needs or would like me, me to do, even if I, even if it is in the realm of impossible, i.e. getting a letter to his

family, uh, I would do my best to try and do that. And even like find out like, you know, what other how he, you know, how he wants to go, what he wants to do. He mentioned music before. So again, it's this trying, hector's kind of rough one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is just just, for Hector, this is Hector grounding this into like, let's make this as nice as humanly possible. Hector, you, I mean, I guess it kind of works out for both of you, but you recognize him recognizing that you're like trying to give him some level of peace. And you see that he, he on purpose, tries to find something for you to do. But it does, he's also, he's trying to think of something that he might want. Yeah.

And he tells you, he asks you if you know of Snake's Canyon. And you know of Snake's Canyon. It is, in both of your times, it is a city within Teagalai where the halflings live. And in Snake's Canyon, there is a huge, a grand mausoleum dug deep underneath the earth where some halflings, depending on their affiliations and religious practices and stuff like that, there is a huge grand mausoleum where bodies are interred. and he takes from under a shirt, he pulls out a little medallion. The medallion has a little scene of a, like a kitchen upon it, table chairs, a bench with some food which has been prepared.

No people, just a scene of a kitchen. And he hands that to you, if you can find your way to Snake's Canyon, the mausoleum from my time will still be there and yours. and if you could find where my family crypt is within the mausoleum. If you could add this. Yes, of course. I will do my best. You think if you can escape Boronia, that is a very achievable goal. So you mentioned that you knew her family.

What is your, I guess, relationship like, especially with the halflings and humans. I'm not familiar with how things were... I guess in your time. I knew her father. He was a good man. When my family emigrated from the dry steps to Tigalai, we were in search of local contacts for my growing burgeoning silk business. He operated a way in along in between.

He gestures. Once again, he doesn't really know this region, the region he's referring to. He doesn't know it is Goldcrest, but he says, Goldcrest and Cairndor, where the Mallowbrook Marsh ends, his family maintained a stop there. And it was advantageous, fortuitous for my caravans to stop there, rest, recoup, and sometimes even change from one beast of burden to another. one exchanging one that knew the swamps with one that knew the ironwood forest and vice versa and I well I knew Gretchen's father before when he was just a boy and then he gestures and he you see he does like a he does like a height you know he's like when he's just a boy he does it for like a half way kind of smiles to himself and then raises it up to his own

I chuckle at that. It's a very funny little gesture. I'm like, yes, I thought you were. I first saw you in the cage. I thought you were a child. Yes. A bit of, he, there is loads of like dirt and more than a little blood splattered on him. He wipes some of the dirt and blood away kind of, you know, and, you know, as he cleans

himself up, you can see more and more that he is an old man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, um, yes, I, I knew her father for a while. I watched him become a fine young man, marry, have children.

Gretchen, obviously, one of them, the eldest. And I, um, and I, I became kind of, uh, you might say like an uncle, I suppose, to Gretchen. I was not often around my work took me places but i often stayed there when i was in the area so i saw her a lot

and then as she grew older she became interested in the gods specifically in gulliver as there was a small shrine there and there was a priest of gulliver who taught her her letters and who had a hand in her education she took an interest in in gulliver through him it sounds very nice just juxtaposing that with i guess yeah the stories of pip has said and yeah yeah yeah i've lived i can work out i guess yeah do you mention pip much uh uh uh no not really i don't think so yeah well yes and then as she grew older and older uh the The priest of Gulliver passed away, and she wanted to take up his post, running the family business, and then also on the side, maintaining a small shrine of Gulliver there. She went into the church to learn, and as these sorts of things transpire in academia, she found herself there and decided that she would be much more interested in helping Wayfarers.

along the way rather than just at one stop. It's a fairly green around the guild. Yes, this was to be her first. One of my first outings. Unexpectedly came across an ogre. It did not go well for our troupe. But I will do my best to look after. I would treat her as if she was my own squire.

Honestly, probably better than if she was my own squire. We were not treated the best by the knights it felt like it was a long line of for us at least the squires used to do all the shit kicking work

and not much was treated with I guess any level of really respect respect was something it was earned and there's very particular rules about what you do to earn that apparently

it just seemed when everyone became a knight they just sort of passed that on I will be breaking from tradition, don't you worry. I hope you know, Gretchen has been through much, but there is a steel to her that I know underneath. She will need it. Bobbitt nods. Well, no use stretching this out.

Well, you did say you wanted a night of music. No, you're right, he says. In all of this tragedy I had forgotten, even in the dark times that there will be singing if nothing else about the dark times Borovian sunrises

better than none at all You sit with Bobbitt and he strums his instrument and sings a little song about a faraway place that you have no context of but it sounds warm and then as the sun rises

with Gretchen wailing in the distance knowing what is to come. Do you have a preferred God? He shakes his head. Halflings have no need of gods. Do you mind if I say a prayer to Penh? You can pray to anyone who will listen if you want.

Perhaps in the morning Lord. I give him a moment to watch the sunrise and silently say a prayer to the morning Lord. And then I'll just... As the sun rises, all that could be seen is the two silhouettes, The one large, the one small. And the one large silhouette moves with sudden speed striking behind the smaller silhouette, which almost peacefully slumps forward. My name is Ryan. This is my best friend, Tony, and together we do the Tony and Ryan podcast, and people right across Canada, they listen to our show.

Now, Stacey and Marley, you guys are sisters and pretty competitive. Can you tell us who listens more? Oh, it's definitely me. No. We will text each other through the day saying, hey, have you listened to the pod yet? So it's something that even we talk about as sisters, what was talked about on the pod. So when you're finished listening to this legendary podcast, check out us, Tony and Ryan.