D&D is For Nerds - Barovia V #10 As Weak as a Wolf and as Stinky as a Gremlin

Episode Date: September 19, 2026

Spot Length: :60Talent: 9 Hells Toy Circle Co.Title: D'Grugrial RebrandStart With a Story (Required. Personalise so it sounds like you're telling a friend about the new D'Grugrial action figure)Your Story: First, talk about a moment you needed the new D'Grugrial action figure but didn't have the new D'Grugrial at hand. Then introduce the new D'Grugrial action figure as the fix.Example:Picture this, you standing next to a disgusting elf. They're happy, haven't been insulted, look like they're better than you in every possible way and probably took you job and/or wife. We know you want to say something but calling them an old slur is cringe and embarrassing. Thankfully 9 Hells Toy Circle Co.'s brand new and updated D'Grugrial Action Figure has you covered.Incorporate Brand Touchpoints (Choose 1 -2 additional points that support your endorsement) New slurs are come up with in minutes, not hours!Previous D'Grugrial models only had sixteen (16) slurs to choose from!Now comes with slurs for Owlbears, Draculas and Beholders!With 9 Hells Toy Circle Co.'s Premium slur-driven technology, D'Grugrial Branded Action Figures will have all your slur needs covered.Yes, it really does smell like that!D'Grugrial is known for their obnoxious odour and unique affrontage to whatever god(s) you believe inThe only leaking action figure on the market!Emphasise that you shouldn't drink whatever comes out of D'Grugrial even though you will have a strong desire toIt's a curse thing that legal are saying that we need to includeTrade in you're old, hagged D'Grugrial Action Figure for a 10% discount at all 9 Hells Toy Circle Co. stores!For just $89.99 and a soul coin, you get the brand new D'Grugrial Action Figure First 100 orders also receive a free coupon to be spent at any participating Hag store for an upgraded lotion, potion or spellCall to action (mandatory - must read verbatim)Buy new D'Grugrial action figure today. Head to nearest 9 Hells Toy Circle Co. Store, call employee one of your many preferred slurs to secure purchase of D'Grugrial action figure. Terms apply. See in store for details. Once again, DO NOT drink anything that comes out of D'Grugrial.If you supported the Jarren's Outpost Board Game, check your emails to manage your pledge manager! Of course you can still grab a copy right here and we insist you do xx o. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, did you know that Plumbing the Death Star is touring the UK this September, as in next month? That's right, starting September 2nd and finishing September 11th, never forget, plumbing the Death Star is going to be performing alive. It has been seven years since the three of us have set foot on your Godforsaken country. So come to see our Godforsaken shows. Go to Sanspansradio.com forward slash events. Plumbing the Death Star cannot buy a tour.

Go grab a ticket and get some freaking... That's right. That's right. Cannot buy tour. Please. come join us when we make fun of our good friend for his slightest mistakes and we call him the biggest fuck we're alive what a dig head

since puntradier forward slash and then a backslash why not ebent our friend's an idiot look around you though you can see no water for miles around we are nonetheless

marooned stranded in a nightmare called Barovia. To change metaphors, you, me, and my people are imprisoned here. The mists that surround us are prison bars and the devil strad our jailer. There is only one way out. Either we die or the devil does.

She starts screaming. She puts up her hands. Adele! Adieu! She says. I guess I'll just make another meticulous shot. Yeah. Okay. You're not accepting her surrender?

No, no, no, I'm not making a deal. Adam, the optics. Oh, is that her? I think that's all she wrote. Sort of hoped the midnight hags would come out when the morrow hag did. I guess I'm going to open the door. Let's alert the toads. All right.

Toads. The, well, I will ask then, because you do remember Toads, are you making any effort to be surreptitious in your opening of the door? Yes. Well, actually, no, because I... Sorry. Because I want... It's the... Yeah, it's the ephemeral. Ethereal? Ethereal? Ephemoral?

Ephemoral? No, ethereal. Etherial. I'm not sure what you're trying to say. The hags. They're in the ethereal realm. Well, if they're here. If they are here, they're eating kids. They could be cruising right now. Because, like, last time we had to, like, yeah, full on do a ritual. The midnight one, so we have to wait till midnight.

Yeah. I don't know how... You know, Samet and Hector Don't know how these hags be worth Don't know much of hags Yeah, I'm not trying to be surreptitious Because again, like the aim was to get everybody down on the ground floor And leave the top floors for Elaniel to, you know Okay

The ground floor has been This would have once been a normal, long, long ago This would have been once a normal windmill But it has been, this bottom floor has been converted into a makeshift kitchen. The room is absolutely filthy. You could see baskets and old dishware have been piled everywhere

as part of what was obviously a baking process. It doesn't look like things get cleaned. It looks like things get dirty and are then piled up and are then reused. Adding to the clutter here, you can see there's a peddlers cart, which, heck, heck, or Jesus, Pip,

you would recognize this as when they are peddling their wares, this is the cart that they use to pedal their wares. There's next to it a old, disused, currently, chicken coop, a heavy wooden trunk,

a pretty wooden cabinet, which looks like it's part of the original... The original... Like building, basically. Yeah, yeah. It's got little flowers painted on its doors. And as soon as you open the door,

if you do nothing to disguise or hide yourself, when you open the door, the second you open the door, open it, you hear br-br-b-b-b-b-b- Yeah. There is a huge fat toad

sitting at top that cabinet. That's so funny. And it goes off like an alarm, essentially. I don't know why I was expecting, I don't think you described this at all. But were you also imagining

it was going to be toads over every inch of the floor? Yeah, like looking past your, like, yeah, Pip's head there being, I was not, look, I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting, like, hundreds and hundreds of

not just the one. Is it even a to... Is it a tone? Is it a tone? It's going. There is. There's... The other things that you notice

coming out of this room are warmth, which wafts from... There's a very haphazard brick oven up against one wall next to a crumbling staircase that ascends along the wall

across from it. You can hear... No, actually, only you can hear right now is the toad. But yeah, there's warmth coming from an oven, and then an incredibly almost, you would say it almost verges into sickly sweet smell coming from a upright barrel in the dead center of this room.

That sickly smell you probably also recognize as the dream pastries. Yeah. Which is Hector for you. I mean, also for you, honestly, Pep. Yeah. It's the nicest smelling food you've encountered in a little while. Yeah. Is it like, do I know that it's not like magically enticing?

No, it's not magic. Well, not currently. Okay. You do know that consuming it. So as I said, it causes bad dreams. But in the moment, for like maybe a couple hours, it's almost like a drug. Consuming a dream pastry mentally transports you to a very pleasant, serene surroundings. It takes you somewhere else entirely.

People full on, like it's a drug, do get addictive. to these things. Well, I mean, like, I guess I say, look, I don't think I should have to say, but no one eat the pastry. Obviously. So the reason where it's, so what, so it's, that is a,

that they make a pastry here and it, I'm guessing it smells fish. Can I grab the toad and just throw it out of it? It is, or is it? How big is the toad? Is it like, I don't know. When you said huge, sorry. Huge for a to.

Okay. Yeah. Huge for a toe. I was imagining like the size of, say, like, you know. Like a cat? No, like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, like a bull. Like a cow.

Or is it like like, I wish. It's about the size of maybe like a chihuahua. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I try and grab it and fling it outside. The toad resists being grabbed, but you,

getting on your tippy toes, you grab the toad with both of your hands and the toad kind of fucking starts squirming and wriggling. You throw it out a window. But I'm listening as you saw. Right. So they make, I'm assuming, is they making it out of the children?

I nod. And they, what, get you enthralled or something? I mean, do I know why they're making it? Just to cause evil? Why they're making the dream pastries? Well, they trade them. So to make money?

Well, no, not to make money. No, they trade them for often kids, but other things as well. They're not interested in gold, but the dream pastries do sell pretty well for anything else they might want. More children to make more dream pastries, but also other things you presume. Yeah. Especially the Morrowhag obviously loves making deals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the Morrow Hague obviously loves making deals.

And, I mean, you know, once you've had a taste of the dream pastry, you'll want another taste and you'll give up almost anything. So they're like a drug. Yeah. And they make you feel, I'm assuming. For about two hours, it's almost as though you're not in Brovia. I can see why it is addictive. It's kind of priceless around here.

The frog tries to get back into the... house through the door. Is he still ribbiting? Yeah, it's still ribbiting. Is it still loud enough? The door gives it, takes two quick steps and then gives a huge fucking punt to that toad. Awesome. Iona's boot solidly connects underneath the toad and she sends it sailing outside again.

Now can I hear like, say, Esmeralda, not Asmoralda, Elaniel upstairs or anything? You don't hear Elaniel upstairs. Instead, from above somewhere, you hear, hello? Can I, do I still have my, it's been, I guess, less than 10 minutes, the magical sense of the magical aura. Or the, to detect magic, sorry. Am I, what am I seeing, but basically, when we get into this horrible, horrible place? You are a little bit blinded by the magical oras within here. A hagg's coven is the center of its power, and the hag's magic is magnified when acting,

when casting as part of a coven. The magical presences here are difficult to distinguish. You'll need to make an arcana check. Unfortunately, it's like, it's just so dense with noise here. You get, I'll give you like oras, some magical oras that you detect, but it's hard to single in on one specific aura. You get necromancy, abjuration, abjuration being the protection or altering of something. things state. You get necromancy, abjuration. You would probably, you would probably faintly

detect little snaps. It's almost like out of the corner of your eyes, but then when you look directly at it, it disappears. Illusion magic, but that, I don't think you need to roll for this. That's just how, well, no, illusion magic, if you could cast a level one spell and see illusion magic, it wouldn't work very well. So illusion magic does kind of try to hide. itself from a detect magic. So you know there's illusion going on somewhere somehow. Illusion magic is even harder to identify than the necromancy or the abjuration. Necromancy, abjuration, a bit of illusion, how much you're unsure. There would also be creation, conjuration magic. And the conjuration magic, that I will give you, actually. You can

narrow that down to, there is one of the containers is a big crate of, uh, not Crate, sorry, barrel of water, and the conjuration magic seems to be coming from that. There's something about this as conjuration-y. All right, so, okay, okay, so that's being conjured, something to do with that. Who's a mage in our party? You don't have one currently have one. Iona. I, hearing the child.

I mean, it's pretty clever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, okay, that was just out of curiosity. I'll keep that in the head, so we hear a child. Yeah. Yes. Hello? How?

Hearing the child, I like... I put my hand on your... Midnight hag is incapable of physical violence as only an ethereal being, but it is an accomplished spellcaster knowing much of the enchantment and illusion schools of magic. So, just be careful.

I've raised my hair like... Yes, of course. Last time, I mean, several times we thought it was an illusion. It wasn't, and sometimes you thought it wasn't it was. It wasn't it was. Just be careful. That's all I'm asking. I point to the barrel. I'm still seeing some effects of the

So that's the water there As a conjuration Iona do you Iona wanders over to the barrel She mutters some words under her own breath She sings a spell Should we call out Or are we just going to investigate

Iona gives like a little Hmm She turns back to both of you And she says A name, someone that we all know Sorry Who's someone we all know Not in like

Just someone we all know well Be anybody Are you asking for? Yes, Zinam for someone we all Three of us know quite well Bigfoot pole Bigfoot pole She touches the center of the pool of water

And she says Bigfoot pole And as the ripples Expand outwards You neither of you Or either are either of you Standing near the barrel I think I'm still in the doorway

Yeah Oh I thought we'd enter the door Oh, well, maybe in the middle of the room, then. Yeah. Well, you had to go in to get the tot. Sure, true, sure. So, middle of the room. I guess we're in the eight, whatever the room is.

Yeah. Yeah, it's just in the room. Yeah. Well, if you're close enough to the barrel, when the ripples touch the edges of the barrel, you can see the reflection stops being that of ionas and starts being Bigfoot pole. You can see him walking through Couturey. Ah, okay, some kind of divining.

A scrying pool. Yeah. There is some other magics about it. It's something, uh, with one. of her hands, she traces her fingers along the side of the barrel. If I were to wrap in the right place and say the right words, something else could happen, but I know not what. Perhaps we summon the person or could travel to them? I do not know this. I suppose we wouldn't even know who they were looking at, right? Is there a way of detecting

who they were spying on? When one is under the effects of a scrying spell, there is a chance If the person, if the spellcaster is weak enough, if the person is magically attuned enough, it is possible to detect that you are being scried. But it is not guaranteeing. I'm looking up towards the stairs of like, you know, the person has... Hello?

I'm just curious to see who they were. I'm swithrapped! I'm sniffing around, Adam, for the smell of burnt hair or flesh. I call out. How many are there? How many of you are there? If you open your nose to the smell of burnt flesh,

My friend, this place reeks of cooked child. Oh, damn. That's a bummer. It's overpowering kind of any other smell, really. Okay. Damn, that's annoying. The, what, the, too, too? What is your names?

I'm Myrtle. You hear a separate voice. I, I'm freak with two E's. I look towards Pip. That's a frog. I don't know. Just stay where you are. We'll come get you in a second.

We can't move. We're scared. They're kind of alternating speaking. I'm scared too. I look at Pip, I'm like, there's two of them. There's two of them. I gesture like, head on up. Head on up.

Go for it. I'm getting on. I look at it. No, and what it means there's two of them. We know there's two other hags. It could be the hag. Oh, right. Oh, sorry.

Yes, very probably. Unfortunately, one of the ways to, I mean, we've got a couple of things working in our favor. It's not midnight. So they're not feeding. Unfortunately, I can't smell, differentiate the smell of burning flesh to indicate a midnight hag from the ambient burning flesh of the old bone grinder. You know, there's some things you don't need to vocalize. I understand. Yes, I'm aware.

And I just don't want to. Yeah. Iona, both of you notice, Iona, is standing at the base of the stairs right now, looking up. Ayona, well, let us tread carefully. But let's head up. I'm also going to cast Detect Magic. You are similarly overwhelmed with the auras all around you. You're a little bit more knowledgeable in the arcane than Hector is.

Pip, obviously, though, you don't- Sniff. Snif-star of it. I was about to say, you don't actually cast spells. No, no, no, no. So how do you detect magic? I know you technically have it as a spell, but how do it? Eye drop. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe it is a little eye drop. I pull a little, like, out of my alchemical band. The backup, you know, The real base stuff that Pop didn't know about. Yeah. In like one little kind of like, because, you know, there are a couple of spells that I have that are, if I imagine, yeah, like something, some protected little collection of ungulents and oils. And yeah, drop them into my eyes, blink a couple of times and then look around. Well, as stated previously, you can detect there are, there is abjuration, necromancy and conjuration spells in the air.

You also get that illusion magic, but I think illusion spells would be, as I said already, would be very bad if you could so easily detect them. So you are aware illusion magic is happening, but you don't know what's going on. You work out better than Iona. Obviously, by dabbing in the, by touching the center of the pool of water and then speaking someone's name aloud, you can scry a person. And then you can also see that if you knocked in the right place on the barrel and summoned, said its name, you could summon a devil or demon, which would crawl its way out of the barrel. You remember, as I stated previously, there is a dretch that they sometimes get, a dretch being a devil. Dretch that they sometimes get as like extra security here. Can I go over to the barrel?

Like as the two of you were like moving upstairs, go over the barrel and just dip it over? Yeah, absolutely. Awesome. I was about to suggest that. Well, we don't want that. I've got bad news. Do you have anything for an Arkana check? Let's see.

I don't. No, I know. Re-roll anything? Rerall anything? Would this be one we should? Things aren't going to get any worse, to be fair, but it will start a fight. Let's re-roll. It might as well.

Actually, not necessarily. You technically could. claim to have summoned it. Well, it's up to you, Zambit, if you want to put it on this. Do you want to spend it? Nah. No, no. Okay. You tip the barrel over. Unfortunately, the spell counts that.

What the fuck? The barrel knocks on the ground when you tip it over. Fucking magic. And that counts. You see one. Here, let me get you a picture of a dretch so you know what you're talking to. You may be coincidentally, when you're tipping it over. A sneeze. No.

I could brag wheel Because like Like if you know Like big football Start to climb it out What? Where am I? Oh no God,

Couthery That's very funny Yeah, this is a dretch Whoa It looks like a bear with mange Sort of Yeah, bear with mings Mixed with a bat face

And kind of like a guillera It's kind of sick Honestly It's about the size of a toddler Oh. That's funny. It crawls out of the barrel. Sorry, what did you sneeze?

DeGragliel! I am DeGrogliel! What is your beating mistress? We hit both my eye owner, I'm a sure. Snap back. I thought I was doing a good thing. It looks at you and then bow. Damn.

I just like, just gesture. What, what if you? I am fifth. Tagregliel Hang on Let me write this down God damn it I thought I could tip over the barrel

And that that would break the Here's what happened What are the odds of this As I tip over the barrel That counts as a knock And then my sneeze I suppose Degragliel is filth

Degrisle is worm Degris your humble slave I'm making such like a Like a frow What the fuck? Please mistress harm me so I may be punished. My God.

I guess this, let's look at this. Degruglil will die for you. It's quiet. Normally you serve three hags, yeah? Degrugliel serves who summons. Oh, my God. Previously, you served three hags. Answer me, de Gruglil, I swear to God.

Degrugliel has served many masters. Degrugliel was summoned. You said his name. Accidentally. I say, like, to I own or an actor. I'm raising my hands. It's fine. It's fine. To Greglione knows not this. You, the Hags probably never, the Hags spoke a different name. You've summoned a different dredge. Oh, fuck.

You just coincidentally said the name of another dredge that answered the summons. Do I, okay, Adam, what do I know about dredgers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lead over to my owner, first he shoots a dog, now this. It wasn't even a dog. It was a hag disguised as a dog. Dretches are, I misspoke before, they're not devils, they're demons. It is chaotic evil.

It's not particularly strong. We're talking a challenge rating of a quarter. It's about as strong as like, it could fight, it could go toe to toe to toe with a wolf. Okay. It's resistant to cold fire and lightning damage, immune to poison. It speaks abyssal, which is probably what it's talking to you in right now. but it can also talk telepathically. It's talking in your head.

Okay. It's like, cool, I can understand the Bissal. It can also get real stinky. Oh, cool. It can release a stench that if you're within... If you're within 10 feet of de gruglil when it admits its fetid cloud, you must make a constitution saving throw or be poisoned. Great.

Can it desalmon itself? Can you? Yeah, whatever. Like, how much, you could send it up, you could look like, you know, what? You know what? You do you. I say, can you december yourself, de Grogliel? The Grugliel knows not the magics.

Fuck. Perhaps he's scouts. Sure. Hey, DeGuglil. Got a job for you. Yes, mistress. Okay. Head upstairs, all right?

Uh. Check to see if there's actually children or two midnight hags. And if there are midnight hags up there, release your feeted cloud of stench. Okay? DeGrogliel wanders upstairs. It moves, de Gruglilil, once again, the size of a toddler, but moves like a gorilla does as it climbs up the stairs. It's like backing up against the stairs. You hear screaming.

That's a good sign. Screaming in a horror. That's a good sign. That's what we want. And then de Gruglil comes back down. DeGraglio sees only children in cages. Okay. Okay.

I start heading. I rush upstairs, I guess. There's two other floors, yeah? There's four floors total, yes. Okay, de Gaglio. Keep scouting up ahead. DeGaglio will do his mistress asks. Sure, get up there.

Do we know if there's a basement? I call down as I'm walking up the stairs. Well, here's my thinking. He scouts upstairs. If Elenio's in trouble, we'll find out. If she's not, she'll probably kill him. I was like, would she, like, shut him in the... Maybe we should, uh, Leanne or not to...

I don't want him around, do you? What do you like about the Greglil? He's chaotic evil. He's a good little, uh, trap finder. He's chaotic evil. And he's as weak as a wolf. He's got no benefits. He's just a hindrance.

And if he dies and he stinks. And he stinks. He'll go. back to hell if he dies probably. I can't believe you don't want to grugly. We don't need new companions. No, we don't want to you know. We've got so many

friends. Yeah, man. I'm not adding a stinky little gremlin to the party. Yeah, man. We've got a bug man who doesn't talk, who's just posting, and now we've got these little shit. Exactly.

Grugly is great. I've already loved a grogling. I already forget. I already forget where pop is 90% of the time. The chicken. I don't need another fucking guy. DeGroglyle is amazing. I'm telling you guys, you're not giving him a chance. He's d'agli.

DeGroglial sells. We're going to sell deGroglial plushies. We're going to be on shirts. Especially after he says a bunch of his famous catchphrases. A bunch of his famous slurs. Exactly, his famous catchphrase Bunch of slurs Bunch of slurs

The grueglial will say slurs If mistress asks I don't want I don't want that I will keep warning Oh someone's here Slurs Slurs

Bunch of slurs The plush is going to have a little noise thing in it When you squeeze the gruglil He's going to emit odor Yeah It's one of them smell a teddy It's like a smell a teddy

You know Adam, you've sold the No. Love a little pop figurine And if you own the full set Every now and then Just every like hour on the hour The pop figurine will say

I hate this guy Yeah This little little peck it or whatever With a stupid little chicken mouth It's good Oh my head hurts Oh man They're grungalio

Man Look I hate this guy I'm trying to go on it Clever thing You know Trying to outwit the magic barrel. No.

Here I fucking are. My head really fucking hurts. Okay. All right. Well, the Gagril goes and scouts upstairs. Yeah. Hopefully to his death. Fingers crossed.

Hopefully. Oh, please. Oh, man. That really does hurt. Hector. Do you need a drink? No. No.

Why? I don't need, I don't want to, I don't want to stop for a second. Engaging with the gruggler. He's spitting fire, man. De Gruggler is good. Dude, he's in a flow state. Let him be. Oh, we're in it. We're in it. It's happening.

Oh, man. Hector. I just keep thinking of it, the Gugleral action feature. You could, like, pull its arm down. It's like, yes, what do you want, slug? Instead of articulated limbs, smellable limbs. Yeah. You're like, yeah, pull back the cord on it and release it, it's just a fart, yeah.

It starts leaking. when you pull back the cord. Oh, my God. You need the refillable ooze. Oh, my God. Anyway, yeah. Hector, as you and Iona reached the second floor,

you can see on the opposite side of the room, there's a set of stairs that go up again, and you watch as de grogly all clambers past you and starts heading up those stairs. Okay. Yeah. On the second floor...

God. It's just like, ugh. Yuck. On the second floor, there are you can see dirt caked windows allow just a little bit of light into this room which is about eight feet high there's quite a high ceiling on this one most of the room is taken up by the giant central shaft which is the mill the actual grinding mill and then a bunch of like gears and clockwork pieces that would operate the mill itself as well as you have destroyed the actual windmill part of the

windmill none of these gears are moving right now. You can hear from upstairs further there is, it sounds like the children are one level up still. Okay, right. Okay. This room, apart from that mechanical function,

this room seems to do nothing else. Okay, well, I guess we wait for the... DeGroglue? He's already gone up to the second floor, I guess. You hear the screaming again. Sorry. More children? No, same children. Well, presumably.

I call that. Sorry, he's harmless. He's just stinky. That's just to the Irony we keep walking up. Yeah, I guess Tiny is just shadowing. Yeah, Tiny's with you, Pip. Are you still downstairs? No, I'll follow them up. All right, you follow them up.

All right. You get up to the next floor, the third one. And this floor is what looks like a bedroom, you could vaguely say. There's only one bed rather than three here. And there are many discarded belongings, just like bits and pieces. You spot. You see immediately the following items. A wood and string mobile hanging with bats that have wings that would flap as the mobile moves. You see a faceless doll in a wedding dress that has yellowed and frayed with age.

You see a leather hag doll reaching down her own throat to reveal three cloth-like children dolls inside the big doll. Well, that's ingenuitive at least. You see a miniature gallows complete with trapdoor and a weighted hanged man. And then you step on and see so many child-sized bones. Well, the dolls, does any of them have pins? Well, actually, you know what, I just fire some blast. Yeah, don't even question it. Well, before you do that, I will let you know.

There are some crates, like cages here. There's a small piled section, maybe 10 cages in total, two of which have current occupants. You can see both of them are like really bedraggled. Well, in appearance only. Both of them look, you can see there's like a little bowl in both of the cages that is filled with some meaty looking stew, and both of the children look well fed. They look, you know, kind of like fattened up. who might say.

Like a Hansel and Gretel sitch, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The children are in two separate cages. One is a boy who looks to be maybe about like seven, and the other is a girl who probably isn't five yet. Yeah, okay. There's a lot of crumbs and food, which has not been cleaned up around these cages. Quite clear evidence that the children are kept here for a little while

before they're turned into food. I keep forgetting I'm a monster man. Oh, yeah, you're scary looking. You can see there is a collapsible ladder, which leads to a trapdoor that goes further up still. And what's his name again? Dr. Grugul. Droghugl? Dugrugrel?

How have we forgotten it already? The grugreel. The grugreel. Thank you. Degrugreel is trying to jump up and reach the ladder but can't. Okay. Is that occasional? Ere. Dumb.

I grab the ladder and pull it down for him. To Grugreel, thank you, mistress. He climbs up the ladder and then pushes the trapdoor open. And as he starts scrambling in, you're probably correct. He's like half in, half out. When you see his bottom part jerks a little bit and then he falls down his top part full of arrows. As he hits the ground, he explodes into. to a sulfurous mist.

And his last words before he dies are, Forgive me, mistress. I can't believe we lost to Godreal. He was life and soul of his party. He was, he was truly. The trapdoor opens completely and you see Elaniel standing upstairs. I'll explain that. It's all good.

She shrugs and closes the trapdoor. Okay. Okay. Um, right. Well, I guess, yeah. Blasting or destroying those puppets? Yeah, you blast as many puppets as you see. The kids freak out when you start doing it.

Sorry, this is just, there's no, I just look. Both of them are crying. Are you okay? All right. With the detect magic, obviously illusion magic is hard to detect. But because obviously my main suspicion is that these children are like the hags and disguise. Focusing in on them, can I detect like, I mean, I don't know, I guess it's like a one role kind of done type of thing.

Yeah. But is it like, is there like a concentration of illusion magic here? Is there a concentration of any other kind of magic here? Yeah. Like, you can't actually see the illusion magic. It's like something that you sometimes catch out of the corner of your eye. You can't pinpoint what floor the spell is on, how many spells there could even be, and what the nature of those spells are.

Some illusion type spells, you know, are very complex and can turn, can make a night, a midnight hag appear to be a child. Yeah. But some can be very simple and could be something like a piece of clothing looks dirty but is clean. Yeah. Or like the, you know, the soup, which is bad, is actually looks good. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Can I also, yeah, I guess with the, still, I guess it hasn't been 10 minutes, but with the vision, the tech magic.

looking around the room as I'm already walking towards the cages. You don't get anything you didn't get already, unfortunately. I don't think there's anything new. Sorry, sorry, we just need to get you out of here. I just need to take some precautions. I go towards the closest cage. Is it there's a lock on there? Like what do we look at out?

Yeah, there's a very simple looking lock. It wouldn't be much for you to pay. You as an adult human being, well, not human, but whatever. as a fully grown entity, you could wrap your hand around it and break it. But as children, it's too, it's not, it's beyond. I was, yeah, going to grab it and just kind of yank it or pull it and see how strong it is. And then if I wouldn't open, I'd look for a key.

If you do that, even experimentally, you break the cage open. All right, it's cool. I break that, open the cage, put my hand out to... The kid gives you one look and crawls back. She crawls back further into the cage. I raise my hand. Right. Sorry.

I am, my name is Hector I am here to help but I like, gesture to Iona and then I go to the other cage to Not letting you leave actually Iona stands almost in your way to prevent you from moving away

she puts a hand on your shoulder and then maybe you had been in such a rush to get to the kids that you're still standing and she's kind of like a little bit low down Iona gently pushes you down so that all three of you are on the same level and she says

My name is Aona This is my friend Hector We are here to help you And she coaxes the child a little bit closer So that you can pick her up Yeah, thank you This wasn't freak This was

This is Myrtle Hello, Merl Nice to meet you I hope you're a feeling okay As I scoop her up And I kind of give Like the more once over and walk towards freak

she clutches you tightly I guess I'll open freaks cage Yeah Freak Are you trying to coax him out or anything? Yeah Like break the lock tear it off Hey Bell come on

You're able to get him out You're all good Without too much trouble He doesn't like wrap himself Around you or anything like that But he when he climbs out He stands near you Pip And then grabs not your hand

But just like part of your tunic And holds on to that Hey buddy There were probably three pretty nasty ladies who trapped you here. One's dead, so that's good. But there's two who might still be around. When was the last time you saw it? It would have been sort of floating.

Maybe you see them in your dreams, that kind of thing. He nods. The mother, Morgana and... Her son, Alessandro. Yes. Morgana and Alessandro. I don't see them during the day. They only come when it's nighttime.

Well, that's great. That means we can just get out of here. The sun is setting. Do they have a... Is it work by a pendant or something on there? They need anything like that from memory? Look, I'm... Great question, Hector.

Let me double check. We might just head outside. If you want to head to... Yeah, I'll... Hey, this is Hector. He's a good guy. And I kind of like... I kind of like...

I know it looks scary, but... He's very nice. You get both kids. Yeah. Yeah, I see what you're saying. Freak grabs your hand as best as he can. We'll just, we'll be outside, okay? All right.

I don't believe it's, is that right? Is it the midnight hag that's like connected to an item? It's kind of a different type of victim. The midnight hags weren't draining the life out of these kids. Yeah, they were just eating them, just or batting them up too. Fatting them up and then butchering them to sell them, basically. It's kind of productive for. the midnight hags were feeding on them like that.

Yeah. I hope it didn't say. I just said it out loud. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they're just feeding them up to butcher them and then turn them into little cakes. But these kids are going to be okay. I wink really awkwardly.

Iona maybe covers, she can only do one, but she covers one of the kids ears. I do the save to the up. Get them outside, probably. We leave. Both of them stare at tiny little. as you walk past him. This is Tiny.

He is... I look at him and I shrug. Tiny gets down on one knee and then... just slowly starts buzzing. He is a friend. He does nothing else. Well, Tiny, we're just going to take the children outside.

You can come... I'll let it trail off and then... Good chatting. Elaniel, what's the ingredient situation up there? The trapdoor opens and wordlessly Elaniel holds up a big bag and drops it into the middle of the room that you're in. Okay. It with a heavy thud hits the floor. Right.

Good. Because the more I think about it, because these midnight hags are not feeding in a traditional way, capturing them to harm them, is going to be really fucking hard. because let us look if we can burn the place down and leave let's do that yeah I don't think is worth sticking around I'm calling out as we're walking down the stairs Elenial shrugs

and says I like that plan all right best not to linger can I I don't know what's in the sack necessarily but from what's in the sack can I make like some kind of what would I need

what have I got to make fire damage like a fire skull flame a something Something for force and something to supercharge it. I want to make a bomb, basically. Sure. If you want, I can go through what's in the bag. Sure.

It's a real plethora of just fucking shit. It's, but good, in a good way. Yeah. It's in brackets. Positive. Yeah, beneficial. You get, are you ready for this shit? We'll start with some stones.

Okay. Ten amethysts. Okay. Ten aquamarines. Jesus. 10 Malachites. Yep. 10 turquoise.

Whoa, that's good. Do you, I don't know if you have this. Do you have common catalysts? Yes. Common Tending Ages common door. Common catalysts we're going to. You get 10 unicorn horns. Whoa.

That's really good. 50 raven feathers. Jesus. That's good too. I mean, not for this fight, but. Five Formian eyes. O.P. Ten beholder dreams.

Mm-hmm. And 10 abeleth mucon. Awesome. And then if you're ready for tending agents? Yeah. You get 10 blight skin Mm-hmm. Ten gassed guts. Beautiful. And then doing agents?

Not a one. No. You get, are you ready? Mm-hmm. Ten Ankeg acid. Nice. Ten death nights, whoa. Nice. Ten, let's go diarist. No, let's go 20 diarist

wolf hearts. I always have a lot of them. It's good. You get 10 elemental spirits. Let's say 10 fire skull flame which... Yeah, useful. That's going to be used pretty quickly, I think. Me thinks. You get 10 hounding killer hands.

Nice. One pinch of shadow. And let's say 10 trient poison. And that's it. Fuck yeah. Okay. Well then I will combine a fire skull flame with maybe some ghoul

inids for actually maybe maybe with a unicorn horn actually because that's some legendary power

and then with one aquamarine for explosive and make a little fire bomb a big butter boom fire bomb and then I would like to

let's see if it works out you do you make a big butter boom firewall all right then I go all right everybody out everybody out I'll take care of this

and then Once everybody's out, I'd like to climb up the trapdoor ladder, out the window and up so that I'm on the roof. And then I would like to find, because there's the mill bit in the middle, right? Yeah. I would like to basically drop it down the middle central column so that it not only destroys the windmill, but also the mechanism. Okay. So they can never do it again. But I guess I got to drop and then get the fuck out of there.

Yeah. Yeah, you would. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this is not going to be an easy thing. fear. That's okay. You let go and you watch as it tumbles down and then I'm not going to roll. You design it so that it only does rather than

like a D4, a D6, you design it so that it does one point of fire damage but it's a huge ball of flames. I'll allow that and you when you drop it you watches the entire bottom floor is engulfed in that fire. Hell yeah. The fire is not big at the beginning but it's everywhere and you know it's going to spread. This entire place kind of wants to burn. It is going to go up like a candle. Then lickety split.

I like, whoop, out the window and try and climb down and then when I've like reached a safe point jump so that I can avoid the flames. Yeah. I'll say you do it without too much difficulty. You manage to climb down the side, slide down the side even. You can see maybe Elaniel has like put a rope that she's used to scale the back part of the mill and you use that to easily clamber back down.

All of you reunite back on the path as you watch in the last pieces of light in the setting sun as that huge mill goes up in flames. I'm sad we don't have the barrel because...

I don't put it. I don't roll. It's just a fucking toad I said we don't of the barrel. I would love to show this to Bigfootball. All right, let's get the fuck out of here. Sorry, kids shouldn't say fuck. And then I'll turn around. Fuck?

And then I'll turn around and we'll try and... Is that anything like piss shit? I guess they've heard worse from the hags. Yeah, that's true. It's way worse from the haggs. They have heard definitely. They have whole new words for describing genitals. Their vocabulary is crazy from the hags.

All right, let's get out of here. With one last look at the Grugreel's resting place, you leave. Do we, well, I guess we're going to make camp, probably. Nah, not, how long did it take us to get here? After diverting from the host of Druids, it took you the better part of a day to get here. I just don't not think we should be anywhere near this. Oh, yeah, yeah, no, no, you're right, you're right. She probably should make as much haste as possible before it.

It's midnight. Yeah. Is it midnight exactly or it's the sunsets? I did like a kind of like wave in my hand. Like it kind of depends. Midnight is what they say, but I mean, every hag's different. I'm assuming, but maybe not. We had horses, but, ooh.

You probably not, hey. Probably didn't. Yeah, probably didn't. I try the druids would have ate them. Yes, well, of course. Yeah, any horses you have the druids ate. Yeah, 100%. If you left now and you didn't stop until you got back to the Druids, it would take, if you wanted to go only via the path, it'd take you probably you'd arrive back at the Druids tomorrow night. So about 24 hours.

Yeah. But I guess if you went via just like as the crow flies, as it were, probably less like maybe 12, 16 hours. I always start, all right. Hang on. Also, in my head, I'm like, okay, the hags are going to come for these. kids because they've been cursed, but they haven't. They haven't been magically cursed. They just want to fatten them up. They're just going to chop them up. But they might be in the area. Yeah. Yeah. And you are pretty close still. So you should at least get a little bit of a lot. Yeah. I was like as we're having a discussion. But also like during all this trying to find out maybe where Mertl and Rique. No, Freak. Freak. Freak. Yeah. With two ease. Yes, with two ease. Where Mertil and and Freak are from perhaps like, yeah, you'll be.

parents. Yeah. The fun question to us. They explain, they give you a pretty terrible story. Yeah. I get, we don't stop to ask them.

We are finding this information as we are walking down the, I guess we'll take the path. Yeah. They tell you a pretty horrific tale. Their parents are in the township of Borovia. And they come from two different families. They, they were sold to the hags in exchange for dream pastries.

Mm. If the topic, of their home is brought up. Both of them, independent of each other, do not want to go home. Yeah. Fair enough. Fair enough. Don't worry. We all find a place for you. Both of them,

well, no sooner had you been like, we'll find a place for you, when Freak volunteers, he talks about Ismark and Irina back in the town of Borovia, who after, he probably doesn't tell you this part. Actually, no, he doesn't say anything about this.

of course. Anyway, he talks about both of them very highly and Myrtle quietly nods as he's talking. They seem smitten, both of them. Once again, independently, seems smitten with Irina and Ismark. Did I know Irina and Ismark? Remind the, Remind the fellow. You would definitely, I wouldn't need to roll for this. They were the Berger Master's children. Irina adopted Ismark by birth. Oh, yeah. Both of them, the Berger Master's children, the Berger Master's children, the Berger Master was killed.

a bit over a year ago. Boma. And as a result, they have been kind of like the Berger Master's role has been thrust upon them. Isn't technically official yet, but Borovia is in such a state

that no one... No one's trying to tell them otherwise. They're kind of co-burgermastering right now. Did I get there his name when I went there? Is Mark? Yeah. Yeah, he was the guy

drunkenly... Well, not drunk and necessarily. But in the tavern, quite mad at you. Yeah, and may or may not have had a flaming sword. Yes, when he drew his sword, it caught flames. Yeah. And I'm trying to remember if he did his name. I'm like, ah, a, flaming sword?

Burgumaster. Co-burge of, Burgomaster. Who are you talking to? The kids. Oh, they wouldn't know that. Oh, okay. That wouldn't be really. You, I still ask.

I'm like, a guy with flaming sword? Co-burgermaster. His dad was? Yeah, so he is. You know of him? Oh, only sort of superficially, yeah? Yes, he wasn't very susceptible to myself. But we have a friend of ours.

They are currently, I think, talking to him and maybe, what was this his name? Sorry? Irene. Yeah, some very good friends of ours. Perhaps when we catch up with them, we can hopefully reintroduce you. Meanwhile, distantly. a single building within the township of Borovia is completely consumed in flames.

Gretchen and Keening stand before two small graves out the front as the huge bonfire behind consumes the house. They turn and head back into the night. It's nice if you got like a bit of a horizon view of... Yeah. You'd see two big bonfires. Two big bonfires. It's very different places.

Yeah, yeah. Like if you're in Mount Gacca. Yeah, exactly. Or in Couthery. You're seeing something going down. Oh, interesting. Oh, interesting. Oh, interesting.

Oh, that's about. Oh, that's nice that those, that house is on fire. Yeah. Fuck that house. I guess we travel through the night until we, because if we, if we travel for 16 hours. Well, you know, we're not doing that. But we'll travel to a, like, fair enough a way that we could perhaps, you know,

make a, like, a little bit of encampment that we can then. watch. And I also do feel like we wouldn't just be probably placate the kids a bit more. And then we'll try to get you to Ismark and Irene, but we're going to meet some, you know, catch up with some druids first. And like, they seem

quite scared at the prospect of meeting some druids. That is not like a... Yeah, druids are not really seen as a safe thing within Borovia. Yeah. Because how old are the kids? They're like... They're under five and about seven. Yeah.

Yeah. Like really dumb it down a bit, but like, you know, not too... I'm not treated them like they're idiots. Yeah. You know, there's been some, like, you know, these are good druids there. The evil druids... I know this might not be true. Yeah, yeah.

Because I don't know... Well, it isn't true. But you... They have been like... The evil druid has been defeated. Yeah. The druids are good now. Yeah.

One of our friends, Tarpos. She's leading the druids. And we will make sure that... you're looked after. It doesn't seem like there's no such thing as a good druid to these kids. That's fair. You use the word druid and they

kind of just inherently but it would be like you were saying oh yeah we're going to meet up with some good wolves. Yeah. Yeah. If I say that, I'm like, look, no matter what happens you have my like you know, my honor, my oath that I will do everything I can to make sure that no harm

comes to you now that you are under our care. They aren't screaming or upset visibly necessarily. That's nice. But neither of them seem terribly... Happy. Yeah, please. Well, I mean, that's just going to be the case. Yeah.

I guess, yeah, both... Using, like, you know, with Iona's help, we'll try to, like, hey, you're in a better place now. Like, it's got to be... We're going to look after you. Don't worry. You're safe now. We will protect.

You find, after walking a bit back down the trail, you find the foundation... You find the foundations of a cottage. It looks like if you're planning on staying the night, this place probably would be like a good place to do that. It's clear. It's not like muddy here. It's, well, there's no protection from the rain, but there is some protection from wind.

Can I like check it out before we settle down? Sure. Let me just give it a once over. Oh, get a good boy card. Yes. As you're having a look around, Pip, something about this place brings back a pleasant memory. What is it?

In a, okay, a pleasant memory. Yeah. Maybe it's a memory of, well, that's not particularly pleasant. Ha! A pleasant memory for Pip. Maybe it's being at the hard castle with Durac. And kind of like, like, for the first time in my life, getting something approaching a comfortable and safe family atmosphere. Like in the Hardcastle with Duraac, eating dinner with other members of the Hardcastle family, you know, even like the servants, that kind of thing.

And just kind of being like, oh, like, I'm somewhere that is like, like, kind of safe and that I have like some agency to do what I like. Yeah, maybe eating Dwarven food across from Durek at the main sort of grand hall table of the hard castle. But is this pleasant memory suspicious to me? You... I mean, all pleasant memories or suspicious to Pibb. But like, is this one, I'm like, why am I having this? You have that thought? Yeah.

Because in one of the quote-unquote rooms of the wreckage, the foundations of this cottage, there is a table slightly leaned a little bit. and the table you recognize as being almost the exact same make and mark as that table from the hard castle. I like step out of the ruins of the cottage. Can somebody else come in here, just one person? I adjust it to like... Tiny comes in. Maybe not you, Tiny.

I'm going to need someone who can explain something to me. I guess I'm still holding the keys. I don't know. Just go inside and tell me first impressions. Iona wanders through the foundations of the cottage, and you see, without saying anything, she puts her hand on the table just while she's looking around. It doesn't look like it's... It doesn't look like she did it for any reason other than it was there, and she just reached out and touched it. But she runs her hand along the table, exactly where it is, looks under it as she's searching around and she comes back to you.

Seems as the foundations of a... Didn't remind you of anything? Not particularly, any particular part of it? It was just that when I went in, I was struck by a point to the table. The table is just awfully familiar to me in a way that it couldn't be. I was struck by a pleasant memory in a way that I found suspicious. Perhaps it's just my own paranoid mind, but I thought maybe you would be struck by a similar pleasant memory.

She looks at the table and then back at you. She's table does not feel familiar to me. Nothing in this place feels familiar outside of that it is Borovia. Well, perhaps it's just my own wretched brain. Well, I guess I poke my head out again. All right. We'll camp here for the night. And I know this sounds strange, but word of by the by,

if anybody is struck by a pleasant memory, or if this place you associate with something that you could not possibly associate this place, with let me know. All right. What? On the guard for pleasant thoughts, the party makes camp.

Well, that's the kind of thing that's suspicious. No, he's not wrong. You know?