D&D is For Nerds - Barovia V #11 Hag Watch

Episode Date: September 26, 2026

"... Gaz, the vile deity of assassins and the hated, was only a normal halfling in those days. Many philosophers have debated why Gaz committed such an abomination to the fabric of reality: was it pride, desire for power, some other dark reason? Or perhaps as some have speculated a terrible contract given to a mortal being that was never intended on being fulfilled? Another question that has yet to be answered is how one can permanently end a god. The written and oral records are littered with deities being slain and forced to withdraw from the strands of fate for a time but never being severed in their entirety. None of these records ever mention the insanity that befell those with a divine connection to Gulliver known as Mind Sliver, the Great Fracture, or Gulliver's Madness in different contexts. We must assume that this event is somehow unique.My studies in this matter took me to Vorenguard: the continent home to the nations of Candor, Praellara, Goldcrest, Teaghlaigh, and Zemjata; and to the Kings Road, a paved path from one end of the continent to the other, the longest road in the known multiverse. The Kings Road had always held significant place for those who worshiped Gulliver: before its creation they would follow travellers in the region, offering them safe passage. And after its creation they were the road's most fervent defenders, tending to its needs and patrolling it for safety. There I spoke to many people and people's for......but the others had a great deal to tell me once I could tease it out from them. One had even claimed to have known a worshipper of Ilene who had been there at the terrible moment when Gaz plunged the dagger into Gulliver's heart. While I am often reticent to record the words of any human after their third drink the description of the dagger Gaz used (second hand of course from the worshipper of Ilene) did match many contemporaneous reports from people who claimed to know Gaz before his ascendance. This drunkards depiction of the Three Perfect Tears I must admit I also found compelling. Many accounts differed as to if they literal tears or just gems. The human insisted that they were in fact both. That the god Gulliver as he died cried three droplets of water contained in three perfect diamonds. Thusfar regrettably my attempts to trace these artefacts which supposedly can create three "perfect moments" to any specific location have ended fruitlessly."~ Gormul Lumrik Forgebranch the WorldCasterIn his seminal work: The Ages of the Humans and the Deaths of a Noted Being (Tome 2, Chapter 43, Section 285)If you supported the Jarren's Outpost Board Game, check your emails to manage your pledge manager! Of course you can still grab a copy right here and we insist you do xx o. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, did you know that Plumbing the Death Star is touring the UK this September, as in next month? That's right, starting September 2nd and finishing September 11th, never forget, plumbing the Death Star is going to be performing alive. It has been seven years since the three of us have set foot on your Godforsaken country. So come to see our Godforsaken shows. Go to Sanspansradio.com forward slash events. Plumbing the Death Star cannot buy a tour.

Go grab a ticket and get some freaking... That's right. That's right. Cannot buy tour. Please. come join us when we make fun of our good friend for his slightest mistakes and we call him the biggest fuck we're alive what a dig head

since puntratia forward slash and then a backslash why not our friend's an idiot no do you see no water for miles around you are like me nonetheless maroon

we are castaways in this terrible bare dream, somebody decided to name Barovia. To switch up the metaphor, we are imprisoned, and the fog is the bars of our cell and our jailer, is Baron von Straar. As far as I can tell, there's no way to escape other than possibly by dying, maybe by being eaten by a wolf, let's say. All right, we'll camp here for the night, but, and I know this sounds strange, but if anybody is struck by a pleasant memory, let me know.

All right. What? On the guard for pleasant thoughts, the party makes camp. Elaniel suggests, I mean, I think everyone in this group is aware, Hector, that you don't need to sleep. It's so you can keep watch the entire night. But Elaniel suggests that perhaps one other person should be up and about just in case. She volunteers to take the first watch. I'll take second.

And then do you give Tiny a watch? Yeah, of course. All right. Tiny gets a watch. Yeah. Then Iona can take the long. one. Sure.

All right. Of course Tiny gets a watch. Yeah, he's part of the team. He's the heart and soul of this team. I mean, you can wake us up with a particularly loud vibration. Well, I'm there as well. Yeah, well, that's true. Just mostly so keep me comfortable.

Yeah, yeah. I'll get to know Tiny. Exactly. And what was it like being a big bug? How did you find? Yeah. Where are you from? Where are you from?

Pipp hasn't really mentioned much about the card, you say. He did the tarot? No. No, okay. I'll ask people. Hector, you and Elaniel have the first watch. Elaniel passes it by in complete silence. She slowly stalks around the foundations of the cottage, keeping an eye out.

And if you, yeah, actually, if you try to engage her in conversation, she shushes you. Not that you necessarily do. She's stalking. I'm not going to distract her. If I think I'm looking at our sleeping party, if I can see them to be like, okay, everyone's all. safe, I guess, for the time being. And being on the lookout for hags. Being on hag watch.

Hector, you spot at some point during this first watch. You spot a deer leaping its way from tree to tree to tree through the forest, but nothing else. When you say leaping from tree to tree, do you mean on the... Like a monkey? Like a monkey? Do you mean like from the treetops, like some kind of fucked up deer that I don't. want to think about. Imagine a forest.

A forest obviously has trees in it. Yeah. The deer leaps from behind one tree to behind another. Okay, that's fine. Then to behind another, then to behind another, and again and again and again, until you lose sight of it. Is it like in one direction or is it like circling us? Now I'm suspicious. Hard to tell.

It can't circle you because the forest is only one side, but you can't tell if it's, you can't tell where its ultimate direction is or what purpose it had. But it eventually moves further into the forest and you lose sight of it. Okay. So there wasn't any like, oh, it's very strange that it just is avoiding not being behind a tree. Well, you only see it. Well, yeah. Well, yes. I mean, it literally, every time it leaps, it lands behind a tree. And you only see it in silhouette. At no point do you act, does it actually resolve into the proper form of a deer? Okay. If I can catch elanial, like, attention somehow. She is on the other side of the cottage when you do that. By the time, This happens very briefly.

So by the time she has been directed towards it, she's lost sight of it. I guess very quickly, I was like potentially a deer, but it was hiding, but it's not outside the realm. I don't know if it was illusion or not. There are very few deer in Borovia. She says ominously. I think back to the time I saw a deer walking on its hind legs across the lake. Yeah, like probably it's gone, so there's that. I'll keep my eyes opened.

I guess it's aware it kind of vaguely went. She shrugs. It could be many things. I don't like the sound of that. As Elaniel is replaced by Pip, both of you during your watch, you hear terrible wailing and screaming and cursing

coming from, it sounds like, all directions. That'll be the hags. Yeah, both hags, you can't pinpoint where, but it sounds like the noise is moving. They're looking for it. We don't have a fire or anything, do we? I would assume you didn't. No, no, no, no, no.

Probably pissed we burnt down there and also stole the, and probably killed the... Yeah, something like this sort of was expected, but... Few things, like the lot of... Anything. Yeah, fingers crossed that they just sort of don't know where we went. I'm trying to think if there's anything I can do. You know what? Like protection-y.

Yeah, I'm going to... It's not much, but... but I'm going to set up a cordon of arrows. Whereabouts? Just around. Just in a circle around the hut. Okay. You do so.

Kind of like old times. Yeah, pretty similar. As much as things change. Hiding out from the ghouls and ghosts. Yeah. Yeah. Pip, your watch goes by uneventfully. See you in the morning.

Tiny is the next one up. Tiny sits down. At a certain point in the night, Tiny, you notice as Tiny's like slow buzzing noise stops, and then at around the same time, the rain begins to let up. What are you? Towards the end of Tiny's watch, Tiny suddenly, Tiny has been this entire time sitting cross-legged near Pip as Pip sleeps. Suddenly, without any warning, Tiny gets up and wanders out onto the road.

I watch. Tiny's shell opens and Tiny's wings underneath spread out and then Tiny turns to face the moon. I keep watching. Tiny's wings glow or not glow, but as the moon hits them. Their iridescent machine, yeah, becomes very visible. Tiny for a couple minutes just stands there open at the moon. Oh. Oh.

I just, has he been doing this every night? Maybe. Tiny returns back to his sitting position after a couple minutes. You don't communicate much or just with the... Tiny makes no attempt at a response. Can you understand us? Tiny shifts its entire body so that it's black, beady eyes look directly at you, but otherwise does nothing. He understood.

Did you tell me what, say? Ah, you know that's true. Did you tell me much about? tiny like you found we've had a chance you see the only thing decorating tiny is a necklace with three tier drop shaped gems or jewels

you're not sure what I don't know oh get a good boycard I don't know if this has been spoken about yet but Hector you know what this is this pendant with these three tier drops it's a like a long long lost artifact

the god Gulliver, when he was killed, his last three tears were captured in jewels, and those are his last three tears. Huh. It is said that if you broke one of them open, you could have just quote unquote a perfect moment in time. Are they all non-broken, right? Yeah, they're all intact.

This is like I cannot describe to you This is like This is like a holy relic This is like a lost holy relic But like also am like Is that a replica Like as in

Are you a worship or? You know No I'm like Those are wait I'm like Oh it's kind of like You know how

Christians, Catholics We're the crucifix in our world Is it kind of like that Or I'm like Initially maybe I think Oh it could be part Oh wait a second There I mean

Some people might Worship of Gulliver by your time is like long since a thing of the past. Some people might have done that sort of thing, worn like a replica type thing. This is not cute. You know, this is not a replica. These are the last three tiers of Gulliver.

This is like finding the cup of Jesus Christ. Yeah. Okay. This is kind of a huge fucking deal. Tiny, you have like, those are the three. The last tears of Gulliver. Tiny does not respond.

How did you get them? Were you there? He doesn't talk. Like get up and move away from Taliban back down and put my blanket pillow. Yeah, he's imagining you picking up to your pillow and a blanket dragging them. It's like too, this is like a holy relic, like the holies of holies and you're just like, shut off.

He's not going to answer, Hector. Do you, um. Is there a way of simply a yes and no situation We can do here Tiny? No response How did we even find out his name was tiny? I don't even remember

You like telepathically have a chat with you maybe Or like impression on you or something I guess along with a lot of stuff that happened in that realm Just push it off, gone I'm assuming I'm assuming if I go to like touch it or like pick it up to look at it or hold it he will not react

What exactly do you do? Do you mind if I have a closer look? Tiny does not respond I go to like you know what you're like you're picking up something holding the palm of your hands to kind of like look at it closer I kind of do that Tiny does nothing if you do that Huh

It is So I'm assuming you must be a worshipper of Gulliver Huh Tiny starts making the buzzing noise And then with a little pitter The rain comes back and becomes heavy He knows also when the rain's happening Hmm

I put the you know Pended back down Let go of it as it were Just let it rest back on his I'm assuming it is it like on a long chain or Yeah quite a long one Yeah well um Roads are dark and dangerous At the end of Tiny's watch

it closes its eyes as the last person on watch, Iona wakes up. Iona spends most of her watch composing a song. It's probably just like a song about your surroundings. By the time Iona wakes up, that hag-hawling noise has stopped.

Do you know much about Gulliver, Aona? Not much. A tiny bit from what I heard from travelers. there was not much that Gulliver had to do ever with these lands, not to my knowledge. Gretchen, the young squire I was traveling with, is a worshipper of Gulliver, but before his untimely demise. I point to the bugman, but he has the last three tears of Gulliver around his neck. Were I to be cribbit, I would say that this is potent.

maybe. Are you a holy person, Iona? A religious person? When I was young, yeah, I was dragged, kicking and screaming to, there was a, not a temple, I suppose, more of a tent. A worshipper of the morning lord set up like a little thing for a little while. It happened for maybe a year before. the priest who decided to run it was snagged by a machine at the factory.

Ah. I believe he got fed to the machine. Sorry that happened. She shrugs. I was very young when it happened. All I really know of religion is an annoying thing that you had to do in the mornings. Yeah, and in the afternoons and the evenings. Well, thankfully my parents only ever dragged me to do you hear that she turns her head and off in one direction

you can see in the woods getting closer and coming at speed you can hear a as you can see a light you can hear as the lantern the like you know the you know if you hold like a big metal lantern and you're running you can hear it like tring trach trit yeah rattling it's doing that and you also hear it slows down to a stop and you it's not a very strong lantern but it washes over where you are you hear some just like gasp of surprise and then the lantern diverts and

makes off in a different direction and you hear as it runs away kind of like maybe parallel to you now What was that? What did I see? What I just said. Like as in like the actual person? Is it like a person? You never saw the person.

Okay. They either never got close. Well, a combination of they didn't get terribly close and also the lantern. Once again, yeah, it's the only light about. So it was quite bright for you. What the hell was that? They're running? They're clearly running from something.

I do not know. There are many terrors and we have set two more into the wilderness. Fair enough Good point Iona looks around like kind of really uncertain She's kind of waiting for you to act next I'm like what time is it there currently

It's like 6 a.m. or something like that Wake the others if Whatever was chasing it might stumble upon us Perhaps now is a good time to leave Or at least get ready to She shrugs if you get up now People will not have had a proper Stupid D&T rules

Yeah, you're right If I wake up after only six hours of sleep I feel fine Yeah, not exhausted I still function And your party will still function Yeah They're just gonna be tired

Of exhaustion that won't fuck off For a fucking wake No, no, no Just thinking about doing this Using the new exhaustion rules Because they're a bit easier Oh The new exhaustion rules

You'll just take like a penalty to every action, but it's only like a light penalty. At your level especially, a negative one isn't a huge deal. That's true. That's true. Yeah, that's true. I don't really feel safe chasing after whatever that was. Iona shrugs. Ed, you get the impression, Hector, that you're making the decision. Yeah. No, I get it. I don't feel comfortable chasing after that. Just one of us and we can't just not leave a watch. All right.

I look towards the two kids As you decide to settle back into the foundations of the cottage you hear distantly the sounds of howling wolves but that's it and then your watch is over That's fine It's like you know

It's just like wherever you're doing what Barovia does you know It's a circle of life Yeah Guy chases wolf I'm sorry Wolf chases guy Guy gets killed

Guy comes back as a skeleton Skeleton kills wolf Circle alive, dude I guess if I Do I hear wolves? Yeah, pretty distantly In the direction that the lantern went I guess if at this point we're on watch

We're in different sort of things I guess could I be meditating and tap into some wolves You could absolutely try I feel great You reach out into the lands.

You become I, Hector, the land. And you feel the presence of no wolves nearby. Not in the direction that you look, certainly. What? Wow. I guess try to then find where that, I guess the direction that he ran off to, like, what the hell was making those sounds, man. All right, you begin searching in that direction.

Pip, you wake up. Iona's awake, and Hector appears to be in a state of meditation. Okay. All good, I said, Iona. She shrugs. Did you tell Iona what you were doing? No, he said specifically when they're on opposite sides of the... Again, it was just like, you know, medit.

Like, again, I was just, I'm just worried that, Hey, can, I understand you're going to pinch you, but... All right. I don't know that you do. I understand it. I guess academically. Academically. but then hearing wolves

going potentially after just a guy who got frightened by us to then just go like well I know that I can at least push the wolf back it's just it just feels like I could you know grab the car

like you know if the car is dry I could just you know if it's heading for a pram you can get the wheel and just move it a little bit that was all I was thinking of doing but I don't want to spend Iona seems surprised that

you you are if you as you're waking up you're like everything okay Iona looks over at Hector and you see like a shocked expression on her face. Oh, well, everything is okay. Hector appears to...

She wanders over to Hector. Hector, as you're searching through that land, you are very confident there's no person here either, and then Iona's shaking your shoulder. Wake up, sleepy head. Ah, right. Are you okay?

Yeah, I must do. You, there's definitely... Not, I mean, you didn't just look in that specific area. did like a little bit of a search. No person, no wolves. Interesting. You do, I will say, you do find one other thing. Hang on. I'm like, is this like, could that, I mean, if it was illusion magic of hag, I feel like they wouldn't have like ran away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But unless they were like to lure me into the, you know, one of us into the thing, to be like, well, we got to rescue this. He's very funny as a hag. Just waiting.

And be like, come on. In the middle of the fucking forest. in the slavish woods, the little dabble of slavich woods that exists this far east, you find no wolves, no people, but you do find a well. Right before Iona shakes you, your awareness is slowly like you're a person, slowly looking over into the well, you see just a deep, black abyss. But before you can interrogate it, Iona, wake up. Is everything okay?

Yeah. I thought you did not need to sleep anymore. I don't. I just sometimes mind wonders. Glances behind Hector's back. Well, I don't know Pipp if you're aware of what Hector's... No. I mean, I understand how a vampire works.

Yeah. But I don't know how Strad works or how, you know, whatever Hector's becoming works. I don't know. I guess Gretchen, that you sometimes go somewhere else, but I don't think anyone else in the party. And you were like in a weird state when we first found you, but like, I don't know any specifics. Yeah, sure. To me, I'm just like...

He does this from time to time. Yeah, he's like become like an elf where he just sort of... And he's also like a Frankenstein, so his rules are different. Hector rolled pretty high, so no one in the party thinks, unless they already knew something, no one thinks much about this. Okay. Well, it's just, that's just, it's just creepy. That's all that is.

I don't need to know that. That's just classic Borovia. I need to investigate a well. Barovia's probably full of wells. So many wells. You can't fucking swing a cat without hitting a creepy well. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's going to make a fun after Barovia, tell you that much. I'll be like a little mental marker, like, you know, the map, just like a little X of like well, question mark. Don't want to address that. Anyway, I'll figure up. Pack up. Yep. As we're packing up.

It's very funny to be like, you do know Tiny has the last three tiers of Gulliver around his neck. Like the actual... Do I already roll for you? You don't know the significance. Last three tiers of... I know Gulliver, though. Yeah, you know Gulliver.

That's pretty famous. Yeah, yeah. Gregory... What is Gregory? Is there you have a relic of Gregory... Oh, tons. A lot of them have dessert spoons. No, but...

The first napkin of Gregory Buns. Is it like a thank you letters, RSDPs? Okay. He's a lot of a lot. Yeah, he's got heaps. Okay, I guess it's not, it's not, is there a very particular rare one? Maybe lost to, like... Wow, he's got heaps, huh?

He had a pair of gloves, I think. They were pretty special to him. They didn't fit him, I remember, from the story. He had to, they were like maybe too big, I think, and he had to, like, kind of put his hands into claws so they wouldn't slip off. Which, in retrospect, doesn't really even make sense. That's not how gloves work. But, yes, I mean, that one's pretty.

special, but there's a lot of Gregorne. He has a lot. Ridicous religion. So it's a relic. Perhaps he has wrong. Yes, it's a very, very, like, it was, I don't even know how to describe how, it's not just rare. It is like, it's like the relic of Galva.

Like, he, since he died. Well, do I know, I know that tiny worships Galva, right? I don't think that's ever been established. Because I don't really remember much of what happened when I got him out of the case. I'm like, even like, how did you find him? That's a tough one. He was in your, because he was part of your, I mime tarotidic, like, cards.

I like, there's like a little kind of like funny expression on Pip's face. Yeah. Tripping with Destiny. I like gesture at you. Don't start. But yes, yes, he was. And in Velakai, sorting out that whole mess. I mean, you know, when you're messing with these cosmic entities or whatever,

your brain gets sort of smoothed out. You left and I don't really... So yeah, you found him in a cage? I made something like that, right, Tiny? That's... I'm using it as a prop. That's rude. He can't answer. But yes, something to that effect. It's going to rain.

He's been doing that, so. He also, in the middle of the night, just went to the road and extended his wings. Like he was moon bathing. You've seen him do that before. Yeah, he does that. I don't know why. I don't know if it's a bug thing or a gulliver thing, really. Yeah.

I don't think it is a gulliver thing. Not many worshippers have wings. Ah. Tiny standing behind you, Pip, this entire time. Yeah, I haven't been saying. Yeah, I can point. Not many worshipers of gulliver have wings. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I don't know. He's a lucky guy to have the relic, I guess. Yeah, right. Do you know why he was in the cage? No. I mean, there's no point to asking. No, but did you ever stop to, like,

look at the cage or? I was sort of in the, middle of something. How did you free? I understand. How did you free him? I don't remember. The specifics are very, very fuzzy. He's out. Well, I understand that. I'm just, how did you get him out? Like, was it a key? Pip, your memory on this, you realize now is foggy. There's like this haze that feels like it's settled over everything. And then as the hay, as you like try to peel the haze back, it looks like your memory feels like Swiss cheese. The comfort that you felt. when you left Borevia briefly, has been taken from you.

You realize that that memory and memories around it have been... Holes have been punched in them. And you feel a capricious God who was mad at you for fucking him over. You feel his revenge upon you, Pip. No, not really, if I'm honest. I don't really remember... As a result of you... fucking with Lemon Canaan.

Lemon Canaan has fucked with you. Yeah. And that muddling has fucked your memory of tiny. I just, I'm like, I just, you say he was a part of your, like, do you haven't have the tarot card? It's just he's, he doesn't speak,

you don't remember. Do you want to know what's on the tarot card? I pull it out and hand it over to heck though. Like you just, I look at it. Like, you just, you'd have no memory of him. You don't remember that. You say he was maybe locked up. I think I knew what he wants, but he's,

become pretty easy. He's got a relic in the... I was in the ethereal plane. It's like a big dog. And he's not left your side? We were fighting winter. No, he's stuck to me like glue. Tiny's card is a white feather

slowly drifting down in the snow. I'll let you see if you remember what Madam Eva said. You, okay, Pip, I offer you this trade. Please. You rolled. I'll say that you remember what she said about the white feather. Yeah.

Alternatively. because you don't care. You can have so much disdain that I'll let you say you forgot and in exchange you can have a bad boycott. Done. Hell yeah. Gladly.

All right. It's a white feather, slowly drifting down in the snow. Pip, you don't remember what Madam Eva said. I don't know, heck. It's all cryptic bullshit. An NPC of your choice is a good one may act in a surprise round

when they normally couldn't. That is good. It's just, I don't know, it seems strange that you don't know anything. He's got the, and he's been, and you don't remember how he. Not really. I mean, you stopped. It was something to do with saving Valachi. That's all I recall.

I went into multiple realms, Hector. That's going to fuck anyone's brain. It's just the amount of scrutiny that you're giving me and I am, I just did a tiny into your head. I just feel if I did this, you would be down my throat. Yes, but. It's you, so it's okay. No, all right. All right.

Fine. I just try to like... I look at Tiny and just should I like, do you see this shit? Tiny does not response. Of course. No response. Sorry, just... No, it was fine. No, I mean, look.

That famous alabaster tact. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what you want, Hector. I just... I was curious and you seem to not care that you don't know anything. No, well, yeah. Of course, Hector. It's not that I don't care, But I've exhausted the things I can learn.

He doesn't speak, right, tiny. Smack him in the carapest. He doesn't speak. I don't understand Gulliver. I don't know how Gulliver works. And I've never heard of the relic before. And he's helped us in multiple fights. What else is there to learn?

It's a dry well. I think of a certain well. So, I mean, you're welcome to question him as much as you like. Yeah, perhaps. But he's fairly taciturn. So, you know. He's just pointing out. that it just seems strange that you don't know anything about him at all.

You don't even remember how he came to be in your company. Well, I thought I did, but upon examining the memory, it's sort of fraying at the edges. That's not worrying? Of course it's worrying. It's terrifying. What am I going to do about it? Something, anything.

I don't know. Give me one course of action, Hector, that I could take right now. I guess you could try to find somebody who could communicate with him, or have you exhausted all the levels of communicating? with him? A simple yes, no situation? Yes, of course. Of course.

He doesn't talk. He vibrates when it's about to rain and he sleeps in my tent. That's tiny. And he's very good with his feelings. What do you call? Like a bug's hands. He's good with his hands.

He can punch is what I'm saying. Iona and elaniel who are packed and ready to go. Look at you. I just like, if the rolls were reversed, what would you tell me to do? Who are you in this scenario? Are you tiny or are you me? I'm you.

If there was a bug sticking to you like glue. Yeah. But I'm like, I don't remember how he got here. I don't really know what he wants. He's helpful, maybe, I don't know. But yeah, I just don't really remember. He's just always been here, I guess. Always been here since a certain time.

I would keep an eye on him. Maybe I'd tell you to do that. Right. Well, I guess I'll keep an eye on him. Yes, so should you. I have been. Good. All right.

Iona and Elaniel, who, well, Iona is like quietly just looking between the two of you, but Elaniel seems annoyed at the delay. All right. Sorry, Elena. Let's get killed. Wake up the kids. Yeah. They don't need to see Mommy Day five.

Okay, Adam? All right. You got to stay together for the kids. You stay together for the kids. Yeah. All right. And then you pack up and try to make. after the...

Yeah. We're going to hustle today. Double time. Yeah. All right, well, you can double time if you want. Yeah. I reckon so, yeah. It'll make you tired by the end of the day, but you can't.

Exhausted? Yes. Then, no. Let me give you a level of exhaustion. I'm shocked I don't have one already, frankly. Just from... Do you want one? Previous...

No. Go on. Go on. Go on. You know, a little treat for a jack over here. No. Well, will we be able to make it back if we don't double time? Your options are thus, if you want to make it back today.

Either double time or you can move through the night. And we're using the road, right? That's my assumption. Or don't use the road. I would say use the road and we'll see where we're at night. If we want to keep going. But ultimately, like, maybe just another night. So you're not double-timing, just following the road?

It's following the road. But if it hits the nighttime and we're like, things run our heels. Then we'll keep moving. Okay. Well, then as the sun sets, you're back on the main trail, heading towards Beres. The lands here have stopped being woody and have started becoming marshy. It's, uh, Beres, you know, lives on what is now a swamp. It once was a city, basically as large as Barovia or Valakai, but after it was destroyed.

you, Pip, you know that it was destroyed, but you don't know exactly what. If anyone, if you really asked anyone, that'd probably tell you, like, a previous uprising. Yeah, okay. And then it was smote down for that. But no one got into any specifics. It happened a while ago. Yeah, sure. The city used to be quite large.

And then when it was destroyed, the swamp reclaimed the city. Aside from that, don't really know these lands very well. No, no, never came down here. And I doubt Keening would have either. No, he did not. As far as you're aware, there's really nothing and no one living here. Perhaps it is worth just camping down again. Yeah, honestly, traveling through the night, I've never been here.

Keening never came here. It's pretty unfamiliar territory to me, so I say we don't risk it. We like, yeah. Has any been, as we've been walking, like, does it, anyone mean, like, trailing us in any weirdness that has happened during the? Are you, how are you checking for someone trailing? you. Good question.

I guess whenever we stopped down to, like, very briefly have, like, you know, something to eat or like that, to just kind of like any, you know, someone keep a little bit of an eye to the horizon. Just to see if there's anybody coming up the road behind us. Also, what was the, the tears? It was like if one, if you break one, you have a good day. Perfect moment. Yeah, breaking one will give the person a one perfect moment.

Right. Quote on. Okay. Might have mentioned, yeah. I might have mentioned that the PIP as well. Sure. Do you like, this is what the person. the relic was, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Right. Yeah, okay. Well, that's a bad face from... Yeah, it's a good face for him. Oh, old Adam Carnivali. Maybe we should have taken that little... Yeah. Damn, damn.

Old Carnivali's done it again. Okay, you bed down for the night, and I'm so sorry. Can you tell me one more time? Because a very stressful thing for me and sooner for you is happening. Right. What was the... How are you checking for people following you? Just every time we would, like,

stop for somebody to eat or go to the toilet, we'd like, just keep an eye on the road. Just kind of keep an eye on the horizon just to see if there's anything out of the corner of our eyes. Maybe I mentioned the deer, that weird guy, that thing. I don't mention a whale because how would I have known that? Exactly. Anyway. Sure. Every now and then, when you stop, Pip, you don't spot anything, but Hector, you begin feeling like you're being followed, like you're being watched.

As maybe about, we're walking still, right? We can't, yeah. Like, it's a, everyone just keep walking, but I, I have a sense that we're being watched. Heck, because the hair on the back of my neck.

Still have hair on the back of my neck. I rub my neck. You got a huge, thick smash of it. Like smooth. I guess it's a part of an elf or something. Yeah. Yeah, and I feel uncomfortable.

You, as you head south as well, towards Berez, at first the lands become marshy, but then the lands, The landscape changes. There's a thick fog that seems to cling to everything. Even to you, it feels almost like grasping, reaching, clutching hands, grabbing at the hemps of your clothes.

And if you try to bat it away, it goes away for a little bit, but then returns and grabs you again. This is the fog, yeah? This is the fog, yeah. Is this reminiscent of a certain other fog we've dealt with before? Like a hag fog? I don't know. This feels familiar. It feels familiar.

No, it doesn't feel reminiscent. It's not, that fog had a, you know, yellow hue. This is a normal white one. And in addition to that, as the sun sets and night settles in as well, in addition to that feeling, that sensation of being watched, you see

as around you in the darkness, it feels like you're surrounded. As soon as the sun sets, you start seeing figures in the shadows. But like hundreds of them running about, have either of you been in the ethereal? Yeah, both of us. Oh, yeah.

It feels like that. Like how I described there being just ghosts, like hundreds of thousands, of hundreds of thousands of dead adventurers. You feel like you're surrounded like that. Yeah, probably pissed. They're being turned into light bulbs. Do I feel like these are like ghosts as in the monster? Or do I think this is some other kind of...

They're not ghosts like the monster. No. When you investigate any one of them, they kind of fade away like an illusion. If I like maybe cast light or something on the tip of my spear, do they like fade away? If you investigate any one figure, it fades as if it never existed. I like, yeah, do that quickly and then like wink off the light, because I don't want to draw attention too much to like any beasties out there. Yeah. Right. Well, this is very peculiar.

I'm just flipping through Emmanuel. heard anything about this before? Iona. Iona shakes her head slowly. Elenial? Oh, actually. Elaniel is probably the one who says, something unnatural.

Perhaps something dead is in these lands. Iona is the one who says, this, I never spent much time at the peak of Mount Gakis myself, but this reminds me of being on the peak you feel

like it feels once again like a chill is settling in the peak as in I look over at like like lock eyes

with pip like that big like a like a wraith is that is that what you're saying I don't know I do not know what

creature or creatures dwell there but these descriptions the fog seeing things in the darkness that was things I remember are people saying

dwelled or could be sensed near the Amber Temple. And we're in the... We're in the town of Berez, right, currently, or like on the outskirts of. Not, no, not yet close. Not yet close, sorry. Because Perez was where Strad's mom was on the end. So I don't think it's that.

Oh, yes, of course. Falsely named undead. Probably. What's that? Sometimes known as a wraith or wrath, when enough souls are reaped within one place in a short spans of time, and Bores would fit the bill.

And if these souls are vile enough, then the hells themselves mighteth turn them back. In such matters, it can occur that the souls collapse within thyselfes and create a being of pure negative energies. So... What happened in... What happened to you? Something similar to Borovia, I believe, but far longer ago.

Do you remember that you know? Iona shrugs and says, I am aware that the town of Beres are displeased strad for some reason people speak not of the reason either they are afraid to utter it or they do not know but Beres was destroyed wholly and completely everyone to a man I believe

okay I guess that would fit the description of the rest with explicit as a call the attack What was it that we had to use to... What did Van Richten do? Kind of remember his little, little campment that he had, and I was like...

There's a... It would even help? No? The wraith tears open a connection to the negative energy plane. Yeah. And you can... The scary dimension, as Emmanuel calls it.

You can end the wraith by sealing that connection. It can be killed, but... You know, we're looking for a... genuine sacrifice, and I did it last time. I say, what a great thing to say. I'm not doing it again. Iona, almost as a joke, touches her finger to her nose.

I touch my finger to my nose. I roll my eyes. All of you hear a horse galloping from the way that you came. Can we, I like get into a position. where I put the kids behind me and like draw a speal just kind of like you know circle the wagons as it were out of the thick mist

a undead horse with rider appears oh I the horse rears backwards and then lands bodily on all four hooves the rider turns to face you peels back the the hood on its helmet

and hector you recognize horn guard Horn guard What are you doing here You are in Danger I kind of like He dismounts

Friend of yours I said I went to the When I went to Argon Vostalter He was the one that looked Sad He was

Wanting to kill me He walks Into your midst Drawing his sword Elaniel Knox and arrow Yeah Yeah

I kind of like you know Drew the like Yeah, Drew a spear. As he's like, you're engraved. Okay, cool. I like, you know, take... I don't care how sad he was... A wraith descends upon us.

Now? Yes. You fools. You have wandered into its lair. Lair? Well, that was going to happen one way or the other. We were coming this way. We have a moment.

He turns to the horse, slaps it on its behind. The horse rears upwards, and then it gallops away. Okay, I'm going to make a... If we've only got a moment, I'm making a potion of some kind. What can I do? Inspiring lead. Everyone has temp. Well, first of all, knowing it's coming.

Sorry, let me find it again. Okay. Because I need to tell everybody that it's immune to pretty much everything. So, Pip, looking at this, the undead rider, you see that this undead night is quite clearly the seraphic dead, revenge. seeking. A revenant, as it might be more commonly known. Behind or instead of eyes, you see holy light burns within this creature.

Okay. Horn guard, right? Yeah. He's a... Look, I don't tell you that. Maybe I did when he was walking over. He was a worshipper of any of some point. He's a seraphic dead.

Or undead revenge seeking. When we have but a mere moment What do we need to do I guess mechanically Immune to pretty much everything Poison acid fire cold Necrotic lightning thunder psychic and all conditions To radiance and force

So if you can Slash at it With a magical weapon Or pierce it with a magical weapon That would be aces What's a sludgeoning piercing and slaget? blushing immunities are complete. Braith is resistant.

Where does it say that? I mean, I believe you. Dission immunities? Oh, well, there's, I guess it's got all weapon attacks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Weapon attacks just don't affect it. Cool. So radiance and force.

Yeah, radiance, force. That's it. We can push it over and we can make it see the light of God. But otherwise, nothing else is going to hurt it. And the only way to destroy it truly, is what we did last time, is jump in the ethereal plane, follow its silver thread back to the scary dimension, and make a genuine sacrifice.

And like I said, I did it last time. I'm not doing it again. Roll my eyes again. I guess if it wouldn't be a genuine... Anyway, it doesn't matter. All right, right, right, right, right, right. Other than that, fuck, good luck. Okay, I'm going to make, because I got 50 raven feathers,

and that's radiant damage. Can I make... Let's combine raven feather. What do I want to make? I guess I want to make like an oil for everyone. So let's go raven feather. I've only got one hair guy. You only gave me one hair guy, you bastard.

I got three. Did you? Oh, yes. Yeah, you should have three. I've got one written here. Okay. So I'm going to combine three hair guys with three raven feathers and call it three blight skin to make like an oil that I can put,

get people to put on weapons to make, like, you know, um, force dealing radiant damage oil. Okay. You do so. You create five attacks worth. Okay. I want to do that three times.

Oh, three times? Yeah. Uh, you unfortunately spoil one of the potions. Shit. Unless you have something for a, it's a technically a skill check, but it's an intelligence based skill check.

It's not a, it doesn't matter. No. You have anything for an intelligence. based check. Rerol a skill or double your proficiency? Either one of those would help. Yeah. All right.

Let's go with double. Yeah. Double proficiency? That means it works. The other one could still fail. Well, in that case then, because that all affects the third role as well, you get, the third role you make like a big, it's, you just do it really, or you're able to stretch the materials a lot further.

So you get, instead of three times five, you. you get five times five. So 25 attacks across your party. Yeah, I distribute the potions out across, or the oils out across the members of the party that will take it. And then I apply it to five arrows or five bolts. You two, tiny iona and elenial. Horn guard probably doesn't actually even accept it. No, yeah. Well, I imagine he wouldn't, yeah. Okay.

Tiny coating is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so we've got five attacks. Yeah. All righty. let it not be forgotten that this just means you can hurt it. It takes half damage. Cool.

Now, so you'll say, okay, follow his little path, but how do we see his little path? Well, you need to look into the ethereal plane. Okay, who can do that? I don't know if anyone in your party can actually. Let me quickly check. Come on, potion boy. I'm trying to... Come on, potion boy.

I'm trying to think of what I have. fucking cock he got you. Come on, potion, boy. Fuck, Joel, that rules. I don't think I have... Oh, my God. How did I get in last time?

Come on, potion boy. Whip us up a little brew. You fucking loser. I believe it was either a good boy card, or you rolled exceptionally well. Okay. Do I have time to make one more potion at him? Yeah, you have time to make one more potion.

Okay, let's combine a formian eye. Mm-hmm. Let's combine fucking... This is going to be stretched, let me tell you. Yeah, I'm hearing it. I'm hearing it in your voice. Let's combine a formian eye. What the fuck does the ethereal plane count as?

What kind of damage is that? Psychic? It's not really. Sleep? It's not a type of damage. No, I know, but like, what's the closest fucking thing? You could make an argument for sleep. Let's go sleep. In my opinion, but I don't know.

I'd have to ask, count. for this. I would, it's gonna, this is gonna be strained as fuck, dude. It just has to be. Let's go for me and I for deforming magic, behold a dream for sleep, and then, are you, I fucking knew it, are you fucking kidding me?

This is so fucking funny. Someone in your party can see. Awesome. It's not terribly hopeful. And then a fire. Oh, for fuck sake. God damn it. I fucking knew it. I fucking knew it. I fucking knew he could do it. Iona might be able to as well, but it's going to be strained for her.

That's funny. I liked the, like, how did you last time? I saw the interior. Okay, well, how do we do that? I make a potion, and there's tiny. Tiny! As you're whipping up this potion, oh, give me the list of ingredients.

All right, I'm going to go, for me and I for deforming magic, behold the dreams for sleep. and then a fire skull flame for overcoming resistance to magic. Okay. So, as those are all, all three of them aren't just strained. They're strained to their limit. Absolutely. The difficulty on this is going to be kind of fucked.

I'm not going to lie. Yeah. I got to try. Roll your skill check with advantage. You might, I think honestly, you might only get this on like 19, 20. Let's try. And I'll roll with advantage. I'll take that good boy card.

Do you want to roll? Yeah, give it to me. You only get it on a 19 or a 20. Six? Hang on. 19. Okay. Yes.

That's crazy. That will, for one, I'll say one minute, for one person, when you dab it on your eyes, it'll let you see into the ethereal. Okay. Who's the quickest in the party? Well, tiny. Tiny is the quick. But I don't know.

Tiny's the quickest by a lot. And he can see it. Yeah. So, but if you're like, this you'd make, I'll just grab it and like clunk, clunk in my eyes. Well, give it a second. Did you got a minute? Oh, okay, I don't then. Wait until it's here, for God's sake.

I go to like, jam it in my eyes. No, no, no, no, no. I think that's an initiative. Check. I think that is. Fuck. Roll the 20. Got your eyes

I think after you apply it You apply it to your eyes Okay You've got a minute Hmm I look around You looking around You can see

Into the ethereal It's pretty upsetting Beres As I said Was a town With a population The size of Valachi They're all dead

And they're all here Mm-hmm Yep I look past it There is a town's worth of people. You can see each individual person that as they move, you can see that there is like a second them, a spiritual them. Just on like a 0.1 second delay almost.

As they move, it follows them perfectly. Looking around, you notice tiny doesn't have one. Interesting. But everyone else does. Interesting. Okay. You recognize this as their source. And you can see if they move quickly enough, if the delay is long enough, there's this silvery thread that connects their body to their soul.

But you barely ever get to see it because they're in such close tandem. All around you, lying on the ground, you see this really long, singular silvery thread. Okay. Cool. Can I, Iona make me quick? Iona casts haste on you. She sings a song, puts a hand on your chest as she's singing the song, and Hector, you are, for a brief moment, for just a snap of the fingers, you are transported back to your childhood and to a state fair where you participated in a sack race.

Excellent. I've run. There! Horn God points. It approaches!