D&D is For Nerds - Barovia V #12 Sacrifice of the Self

Episode Date: October 3, 2026

UNDEAD, Falsely Named (soft) - Sometimes known as a Wraith or Wrath. It-eth would be near to malpractice-eth for this reporter to not begin this-in entry without-eth notifying you savvy hunter that should-eth thy believe that it is truly a Falsely Named Undead that thy encounters here-in is thy suggested course of actions: run. Run and do not-eth look back for to even gaze back is to invite destruction. When enough souls are reaped within one place in a short spanse of time and if these souls are vile enough then the hells thyselves might-eth turn them back. In such matters it can occur that the souls collapse within thineselves and create a being of pure negative energies. The Wraith is the antithesis of all life, whose destruction it seeks to all measure. It should not be saw-n as one single entity or even all those many whose form it was collapsed from: once created the Wraith is more a being of negative energies than souls though several friends of mine (and I have a great many friends too for my 50th birthday party was greatly attended with so many people sending me thy well wishes that this reporters table buckled under the weight of them!) have said that in their seeing of a wraith they noted that its visage transitioned between a great many of thine souls faces that it was made of. While it may retain some memories, these are echos: not real. Thine-eth souls-eth who have been in the creations of the wraith can still-eth be heard from the wraith (and at great distance too!) For thy savvy hunter thy shall find thine wrath exists in a place of strength for undeath (whether created by thine wraith or thine wraith is created by shall here go unknown as this writer chooses not-eth to know such things.) Thy landscapes around the wraith shall be thus: dark and deadly figures haunt thy nights and a mist clings to thy chilled landscape (sometimes known as a Winter Terrorland). The Wraith is capable of slaying with a vitality draining attack and any dead it creates shall have their souls bound to the Wraith in servitude in perpetuity. Thine wraith is very scary as it transitions easily between this realm and thy place known-eth as the SCARY DIMENSION (aka the Ethereal Plane (by some bring scholars who never understood the importance of a good campfire tale (and who never showed up for my rager of a party))) with many powers that allow it to pass though at many times (thy savvy hunter should-eth be capable of viewing into the Ethereal if thy wish to win!) Thine wraith is deadly at both distances and also at not-distance (sometimes known as Touching Space) with explosive fireballs of cold and attacks that shall shake thy hunter to thy very core. The bestest ways to prevent damages is to make thyself avoidant of necromancy or to secure thyself of fortitude (though these are not guarantees! (as certain idiotic, lame, and sexless scholars who refused to turn up to my exciting party learnt one day (served them right!)) The Wraith is fearsome and immune to all weapon attacks, poison, acid, fire, cold, necrotic, lightning, thunder, psychic, and all conditions. The Wraith is resistant to attacks of Radiance and Force, making these the only two methods of normally harming it. As it is Resistant to all but two damages a savvy hunter would be behooved to fight the Wraith with it’s only known weakness: genuine sacrifice. A mortal, willingly giving their life to slay the creature is capable of overcoming the Wraith's resistances (though not its immunities!) It has also been hypothesised by more learned minds than mine that for there to be a being of pure Negative Energy there must be a link to the plane of Negative Energy though where to find and how to plug such a hole is beyond this writer.If you supported the Jarren's Outpost Board Game, check your emails to manage your pledge manager! Of course you can still grab a copy right here and we insist you do xx o. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, did you know that Plumbing the Death Star is touring the UK this September, as in next month? That's right, starting September 2nd and finishing September 11th, never forget, plumbing the Death Star is going to be performing alive. It has been seven years since the three of us have set foot on your Godforsaken country. So come to see our Godforsaken shows. Go to Sanspansradio.com forward slash events. Plumbing the Death Star cannot buy a tour.

Go grab a ticket and get some freaking... That's right. That's right. Cannot buy tour. Please. come join us when we make fun of our good friend for his slightest mistakes and we call him the biggest fuck we're alive what a dig head

since puntradier forward slash and then a backslash why not our friend's an idiot although you see no water for miles around you are like us marooned you're stranded in this sad

and lonely place called Barovia. To mix metaphors, we are incarcerated. The fog that surrounds us are the bars of our dungeon, and Baron von Strad is out jailer. As far as I can tell, there is only one way out, and that is to kill the devil strad. Out of the thick mist, a undead horse with rider appears.

Hector, you recognize Horn Guard. You are a ninja. Array. descends upon us. Now? Yes. You fools. You have wandered into its lair.

Horn guard points. It approaches. While Hector, you run off in a different direction. The wraith descends upon you. Oh, fuck. And we'll go to initiative. Okay. Hey, Adam, can I just that roll initiative with advantage?

I got worse, huh? Yeah, that's the same. That's same. Two threes, buddy. Two threes, buddy. Two threes. Cyclops snake eyes. Damn.

Oh, well. That's so wrong. It's crazy. I got a decent initiative, I guess, so, you know, that's something. You're not lost. Dead last, at least. Horn guard is first. He, with sword drawn, he charges at the wraith.

Swinging his sword, his sword passes harmlessly through the wraith. That's a real bummer. It is the wraith's turn. And in one blow, the wraith kills Horn Guard. I don't even need to roll. Horn Guard is... The wraith does the right type of damage for Horn Guard, unfortunately. Pip, you watch as the wraith...

Imagine you've seen a wraith before, obviously, but all wraiths are slightly different. Yeah. They all look like a thousand people. trying to compete for the body of one, like one soul-like entity. You can see as a thousand different cloring arms and faces and hands, try to grab and wrestle control. And in this creature's hatred and fear and horror, it slams horn guard who becomes a fine mist and paste.

You hear clang clang tung tung tung as the metal parts of his armor are scattered along the road. Is he absorbed by the wraith? No, he doesn't get absorbed by the wraith. I can't believe he killed Horn Guard. He's the life and soul of this party, Adam. Had Horn Guard been a live, this would have created a specter, which would have been a whole fucking separate issue. But you know enough to know that you can't raise the same corpse to ice, basically. The killing an undead will never create another undead.

You are also probably aware, you know how the seraphic dead work. Yeah. Horn guard's gone for now. Yeah, he'll come back. Yeah, he will come back. He's revenge seeking. Yes. He still got revenge to seek.

Yeah. Well, thank God. Because, again, he's that life and soul. He's the life and soul of the party, too. He's the life and soul of the party. He's new cribbit. No, cribbed. Unfortunately, that was the race's bonus action.

That is unfortunate. It is unfortunate. Yeah. It drifts towards your party. Um, who would be closest? Uh, I think I would have, well, I'm, I'm firing range, so probably not me. I'll be up the back. Let's say, einy, miny, mo.

Where did we put the kids? Because in that minute before it came, we would have hid the kids somewhere. Yeah, well, they're not the closest, but I had forgotten they're there. Somebody would have waded into the bog to put them on like a little bog island or whatever. Either we've hid them or they, I mean, they wouldn't have wrapped them around myself. Maybe I would have. Who knows? Either that.

Yeah. Probably Tynies can look after them maybe. I guess Tiny would be the closest. It's true, actually. The Wraith approaches Tiny and then, God. Oh, Tiny, I'm so sorry. Could I or, I mean, I could do a miss, miss me, no damage from one attack. I was really saving it on me.

I think save it for you, I reckon. The Wraith grabs. You using it? On Tiny? Yeah. What's what happens? No, you've got to use it or it happens. The Raith makes two attacks, one misses, one hits.

Oh, no. Tani will be right. He's fine. He's a tough, he's a tough creature. The Wraith grabs Tiny, lifts him up into the air, and then Tiny takes 5D6 necrotic and 5D6 cold damage. Damn it. That's pretty fucking bad.

So 10D6, you say. 10 d6, they could all be ones. They could all be ones. That's what you got a fucking hope for. 10d6. That's a lot of a... And that includes a mis. Yeah.

Yeah, if you hit twice, it would have been 20 D6s. Yeah. Theoretically. Yeah. Yeah, rates, you better be fucking hurrying. Get ready to make that genuine sacrifice, my friend. I came in. Quick boy here.

Not quick enough. Wait a second. Haste. Don't I do stuff with advantage? Like, initiative? I don't think it extends. Yeah, you already are already. And I rolled three and a three.

Yeah, nice drive, boss. Tiny goes. How damaged was Tiny already. Tiny goes from bloodied to exposed. Tiny is still, who. The tiny has that crack already in his, in its faceplate. Yeah.

The wraith cracks. that open further. Tiny's hands. Tiny's chest. Tiny's hands are all around its two arms. And Tiny struggles in its grasp. As you watch, the creature begins lifting Tiny up into the air. Tiny is in a lot of trouble right now.

Okay. Tiny. And then it's Hector, your turn. Except actually, the Raith takes a legendary action. The Raith soul site. It chooses a creature within five feet who must make a charisma saving throw. On a failed save, 5D8 necrotic damage. And if Tiny fails the saving throw, it is just actually consumed by the wraith.

Uh-oh. Okay. The body lives, but the soul cannot be resumected by any means. He doesn't have a soul. Wow, that's good because he fails. Is he okay, though? Is this a... Let's take some necrotic damage.

Is this that you ignore damage from one attack moment? Well If So Tiny is going to take A lot of Necotic damage Yeah

It won't kill Tiny But Tiny will be out of the fight now Yeah But Tiny because Tiny has no soul So the consumption actually doesn't hurt Tiny Okay thank God Hmm But if he's out of the fight

That is one whole fighter down Then it's a bunch of, you let's, hey Adam. Yeah. Just ignore, maybe it just bounces off his beautiful carapace. All right. Let's ignore some of that. The wraith tries to draw, you watch, Pip, as the Raith tries to draw tiny soul out of its body.

And the wraith seems, the many faces of the wraith seem confused as nothing comes at. Hector, it's your turn. You are focusing on finding the source of the Raith. Yes. All right. Here's how it's going to work. Okay. You need to make three successful investigation checks.

All righty. I've already rolled this. It's a DC-15. Okay. So your first check is a success. It will be because it's DC-15. You rolled 15 on the die. And where are you?

You get a positive, right? Yeah, you get a plus five to this check. So you only need to roll a 10. you've got a 50-50 chance of any of these investigation checks. Your first one's success, you will need to make two more. Okay, cool. So, if I can action surge. Yes.

And so I can make another. With this speed, I'll allow you to make the second one now. Yeah, absolutely. Yep, yep, yep, yep. You spend your action search? Beautiful. You get a 19 on the die. 19 on the die, 24.

So you're only one investigation check away from finding the source. Excellent, excellent. and I will start running. Hector, you're fucking gone. You can't even hear this fight happening anymore. You are, thankfully, the effects of the wraith, one of the effects of the wraith is that the lands become quite cold. So the marsh is actually partially frozen.

So as you get off the trail and start going off into the marsh itself, you get like a little bit of that suctiony sort of feel as the top layer of mud is still wet and loose, but it doesn't go much deeper than that. And you're able to quite easily make your way off into the marsh in search of the opening to the negative energy plane. Fantastic. All right. That'll be your turn. Yes.

Okay. There. Pip, it's your turn. What would you like to do? Okay. I was really just waiting for you to be like, but actually, okay, so, hey, if I push a creature, is that liable to make it drop tiny? It will. Yeah, it will.

Okay, I would like to strife around to the side of the wraith. Before you act. God, ain't that a little stinker. Of course. The wraith attempts a life drain attack. Not sole siphon, just life drain. That's going to be a hit. Okay.

I got nothing. Tiny takes only 5D6 necrotic. Could be five points of damage if it's all once. That's true. Sometimes it is. Tiny stays on bloodied. Fuck. Okay.

Barely. Exposed, I mean, sorry. Okay, okay, okay. Honey wishes it was on bloodied. All right. Oh, how poor, beautiful bug boy. You strafe. I strafe around the side of the wraith.

And I'd like to like maybe I strafe into the marsh a little bit so that I can give myself some like, like if I can strafe into the marsh, because I'm imagining we're on like a road, right? And then the road kind of slopes down the marsh. the side into the marsh. So strafe around, get kind of onto that slope so I have a bit of cover. And then I would like to fire a heavy shot or two heavy shots into the, into the wraith. What is a heavy shot? So a heavy shot is until the end of my turn. Whenever I hit a ranged weapon attack, I roll an additional damage die of the same type as the weapon I'm using. Additionally, targets that I deal this damage to that are a large size. Is it large?

I believe it's medium. Or smaller. I'll push five feet away from me. Oh, okay. Well, that counts. And you get a critical hit on the second attack. Fuck yeah. Yes. So I... Load in like a particularly heavy bolt. And then the kind of damage doesn't really matter because none of them are going to hurt it.

Yeah. Is it radiant? Is it radiant? And the bolts are radiant. And force, I believe. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey, until the start of your next turn, change the type of damage you deal to Radiant.

Oh, it's already, Ray. Oh, my God. No, that's really good. No, because that'll be... Everything will be radium. Yeah, so the actual weapon, it's... No, so... Oh, I see what you mean.

I'm getting an extra radiant on top. Yeah. Wow, the way it works is... I was going to be very generous. So the way heavy shot should work is you do a heavy crossbow. Yeah. Normally does a D10 damage.

Your one with its elemental type can do 2D6 extra of that elemental type. Yeah. Then, on top of that, I was going to roll 1D4 for force damage, one D4 for radiant damage. Yeah. The way that heavy shot works is all I add is an extra D10.

All of the other dice, say the exact same. And the D10, because it's the weapon, it's the weapon. Yeah, it would be like acid or thunder or whatever. It doesn't matter. None of this is going to hurt it. Yeah. But I was going to be kind and say, for the heavy shot, I'll double the D4s. Ah.

But if you spend that, you will double the D10s. Yeah, let's do it. And they will hit because it's all radiant. Let's do it. That's, yeah, this is fucking big Mondo shit. This is good. No, this is really, really funny. my like, you know, the damage type on the crossbow, like, you know, electricity, thunder, acid, radiant.

Like, click at pass, so it's like a click, it's like pointing at nothing. Yeah. You didn't realize you could turn it to 11? Yeah, exactly. All right. Plus six for your, God. God, that's a lot of ones. Come on.

Come, man. Come on. Plus six Oh but actually sorry I'll read all these any ones One of them was a critical hit That is correct Sorry so let me roll the normal one first

So That's so funny It was a lot of ones That is so fucking funny All right So this will be plus three So Um

20 25 the first attack does 25, well, because it's resistant. Yeah, yeah, it does. It does 14 points of damage. That's okay. It does 25, quote unquote, points of damage. I'm mostly doing this, so he'll drop tiny anyway, so... And then you knock it back.

Yeah. The rates form shudders and then is pushed by the force of your heavy shot. And then... Okay. Or your second attack, in the knee, or pinned... Hmm. Well, it doesn't have... Knee's.

Pinned would mean, I guess, it would stay where it's at. Yeah. And then in the knee, I feel, would also probably, like, reduces run speed, and maybe it will stay. I guess pin? I guess we'll go pinned. All right. I've got good news and bad news for the pin.

Which would you like first? Bad news. Bad news? The end is that the target becomes restrained, and the wraith is immune to being restrained. Right. Good part? Triple damage. Whoa.

Okay. Oh, it's all radiant. It's all radiant, baby. So that'll be 2D10, 2D6, 4D4 and then plus 3 and I triple this. Okay, come on. All right, that's a bit better, this is a bit better, a little bit better, it's better, it's better, it's good. It could be better, but it's good, it's good, it's good, I'll take it, I'll take it, I'll take it. 10, 20, 32 plus 9.

32 plus 9 is 41, half that for 20 points of damage. Hey, that's still a lot. Yeah. It's something. You are one-fifth. No, no, nearly a tenth of the way through its hit points. Forgive me. Damn it.

Damn it, damn it indeed. With triple. Triple damage. Damn. Okay. Well, I think a tenth of its headpoints for this powerful. I got to be happy about that. Yeah, I think that's actually pretty good.

Yeah, that's pretty good. And it drops tiny? And then, yeah, you force it, it shudders across the battlefield and drops tiny. Yeah, that's good. All right. Horn guard is dead. It's the race. No, your allies.

I'm an idiot. Your NPC allies get turns. Yeah. All right. What are they even going to do? Oh, God just fucking died. They have radiant damage on their weapons. Yeah.

Yeah. It's out a little excited. Plus I could heal, I guess. Yeah. Iona spends her turn healing Tiny. Tiny goes from exposed to bloodied to wounded. That's really good for tiny. Yeah.

That is Iona's turn. Okay. Then it is Elaniel. She's a burning pretty powerful effect right now, and she's using all five attacks right now. Come on. So many ones, I'm only assuming. Oh, it's almost 14.

Oh, thank you, Adam. One, two, three, four, all five hit. You know what? Fair enough. Fair enough. Not even going to say anything. Yeah. It's good that he said, thank you, Adam.

It's good he's thanking himself. Elaniel hits five times and does 12 points of damage. Okay. Okay. Hey, anything is good, dude. It's better than none. Yeah. It's of damage, you know?

Time to remind myself of a bunch of damage. my abilities, you know, as always. Tiny's turn. Tiny, in a flurry of movement, leaps and then lands bodily next to the wraith and then, boom, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo. Hell yes. Punch it with your beautiful golden... Crit, crit, hit, hit, hit, hit. Fuck yes. What a, what a charming bug man, really.

He's the best, dude. So, first crit, boys, which would you prefer? Drop it or drop it? How often does this happen? I'm gonna mix these up a little. Bashed nose or drop it? Um, we're still carrying anything. Adam's making a really curious page. What are you picking?

Bash knows or drop it? Hang on, I'm gonna say both and look at his reaction. Bash knows, drop it. He really likes it. He really likes drop it. Okay. I guess drop it? I guess drop it?

trust him. Drop it? Yeah. Quadruple damage. Oh, yeah. And something, something, whatever. It drops a thing. Who fucking cares?

Quadruple damage. Bash, nose. Target gets a bonk on the nose. I should... That's funny. Yeah. You make a bunch of worthless. Yeah.

Kind of. Just the... That's funny. Got a crit. And... All right. That first attack, quadruple damage is 12.

Oh my God. And the first attack does as much as Elaniel did across five. Yep. He's a beast. Wow, that was quadruple damage. That was four hits in one. Yeah, he's a beast of a bug. And then the second one,

battered shoulder or drop it? Now, Adam, I'm going to try the same trick. Battered shoulder or drop it. Who cares then? Battered shoulder. Maximum double damage. Okay, that's actually better than the other drop it. Oh, what did I roll?

Maximum double damage is eight. Okay. and then three more hits. Okay. So across two attacks, he stole in like 20 damage. It was great because you basically did that. In, yeah.

And it took a while. Five across three more attacks. Okay. That's pretty good. Fuck, pretty good. Hey, whatever. Chipping away. Yeah, that's what it's about, dude.

Chip, chip, chip, chirru. Okay. Genuine sacrifice. Okay, good luck, dude. What do I got? I had to give up my Gregory Bones crucifix or whatever. Yeah, okay. That was your NPC allies's turns.

Okay. And then it's the wraith's turn. Uh-oh. Now, the wraith... Who heard it the most? Tiny. Yeah. Was it tiny, actually?

No, probably me. Oh. Yo, it was you. Yeah. You did more damage. Don't know. The wraith points at you. And Pip,

it feels as if... It feels as if the grave... itself is calling for you. Oh, God. The world disappears all around you and you need to make a constitution saving throw. Gagong. Gagunk. Gagunk.

Gagunk. Oh, God. And then you can feel as arms, thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions, billions, billions of, hundreds of thousands of billions of arms. The spectral arm of every creature that has ever done. reaches out and grasps at your heart. Uh-uh. Your heart is under so much immense pressure

that it just gives out. It's crazy to have a heart attack in the middle of combat. You take... You take 12... Sorry, you take 10 D12 points of damage. Oh, God! I don't think you heard me properly.

I did, dude, but I'm kind of just ignoring it. Stumbling back in the kind of Sort of icy swamp Fuck What a way to go On the bright side It can only do this twice a day Dude, thank the heavens

The heavens above You know Lord have mercy 10 Oh yeah Oh God 20 Oh yeah

30 Uh huh Uh huh 44 Mmhmm Mm hmm 55 62 points of damage

Jesus fucking Christ Is that enough for a fucking permanent scar or whatever? Yeah Yeah Are you still standing? I think barely

Yeah you are still standing That was over half your hit points Yeah What did I just say 55 or 65? 60 65 God, dude So you go from 73 hit points That's nice Down to...

Eight. Yeah, okay. How heart attacks will do that, too. Oh, you did the 10-hit points. You have an extra 15. Oh, fabulous. So you go down to instead, what's 8 plus 15 is 23. I've got to start living better.

You know? And... Mm-hmm. You also age. Sorry? What? What? What?

Adam. What did I do? What have you done? What have you done to our boy? The target also ages to the point where it has 30 days left before it dies of all day. What? In this age state, the target has disadvantage on attack rolls, ability checks, and saving throws, and its walking speed is halved. Only the wish spell or greater restoration can end this effect.

What have you done to me? What have you fucking done to me? Okay. So. Thastriel is not with you currently But she could cost greater restoration You're an old man You have 30 days

Oh God To get to Thastriel I was like If this was a TV thing Like it's like a movie show whatever It cuts back to that time That heck the like you know Had a vision of your death

Yeah But it's you as an old man You know It's like it's just all the I'm like well I guess he lives a long love and life. No, wait, oh no. Thastrial could cast greater restoration.

You would already know that. Okay. You just need to get to Thastrial in the next 30 days. That's so funny. I might have to have a little solo old man adventure. Heading back to fucking Valica. You are so in four, infirm. You cannot do this.

Fuck. Okay. Wow. And you could do that again today. Speaking of other things it can do, By the way, Hector. So you know how I said an entire town's worth of people died here? Uh-huh.

Hector? Oh, fuck. Well, not my problem right now. As a layer action, the wraith raises every single one of them as a zombie. Okay. Cool. Okay. Then, Hector, it's your turn.

I remember. Adam. Then I also have devil's sight. By the matter of that'll help me. I just remember I have it. I think that does dark vision. I can just see normally in darkness. I assume it's pretty pitch black right now. Anyway, just thought I'd say

that. Let's have a looksy for the last investigation check. Okay. Can I re-roll anything, Adam? You will want to. That was a nat one. All right, yeah, let's re-roll that. Okay, if has anyone succeeded? I succeeded this in the last minute, right?

Does it say anyone else? If another player succeeded on a skill check, you could succeed on the same one. On a skill check? On a skill check. What kind of skill check was it? It's an investigation. No one's investigating.

No. Not that I remember. No. Okay. Well, you're getting lost in the marsh, my friend. You will need to make a dexterity saving throw as the dead tried to drag you down to meet them. We're they...

Okay, and just like, okay, okay. Okay, okay. Just trying to think as a, what do I have the ability? With haste, what does that give you? Oh, you get advantage on this check, sorry. For with, that's what haste gives you. Does it give you a second action? I don't think so, but let me double check that.

It's a great question. Haste, level three transmutation, yada, yada, yada, choose a willing creature that you can see within range until the spell ends. Speed is doubled, plus 2AC, advantage on deck-saving throws, and gains an additional action. You can already check it one more time. Oh, and I would have got another action. I mean, I guess I haven't spent my accent surge.

Yeah? Yes, we'll say that. Cool. You haven't spent your action search. No, yeah, you... With your bonus. No, it is five. Yes, all right.

Hoo. Yeah. You are, with your final, with this investigation check, you find the connection to the elemental plane. Excellent. You, as you're sprinting through the marsh, Hector, you realize you've been following. The marsh that you're on has kind of slowly transformed into a river.

And looking all around you, you realize you're in the ruins of a village. Okay. You are presumably in Beres. Okay. Fuck. All right. Sure. How close am I to where I need to be?

And also like... It's in Beres. Yeah, yeah. But also the fucking loadstones in Barrows, too. How close? Why are in Beres? Where are the Dru? How close am I to the, I guess, this, this hole in reality?

Yeah. I don't know. Okay. So, this is what you see. You are standing on a frozen river to your west is the town of Beres. You can tell that running across the marsh and running at this speed across the marsh, you have cut. you've essentially cut a really short, short cut. You can see to your west, directly in line with you,

are a bunch of abandoned and broken down cottages. To the, kind of to your direct southwest is more, oh yeah, it's just a lot of cottages. Of course, it's a fucking village. Yeah, there's a lot of cottages. You see just past those cottages in the heavy, mist here, you can see giant wicker men, which, at first,

you think are just wicker men, but Hector, you have fought scarecrow, comma, giant. Yeah. Mondo, are they Mondo defenders? Fantastic. Don't need to know about them right now. They slowly, you can spot six of them

slowly stalking their way through the mist. They have not clapped eyes on you yet. Don't care. In Beres, is where the trail leads. Okay. And you make your way deeper into Beres. Yep.

And in the center of town, so you can imagine all around you are these dilapidated broken cottages. On your left and on your right, broken empty dwellings. You are in a large field, which would have once been the center of town. Mm-hmm. And there is, like, imagine in your mind, you know, the terracotta army? Mm-hmm. Imagine scarecrows. Oh, fuck.

Fuck. Yep. And then imagine, ha ha, mm-hmm, ha. And every time you look around, the scarecrowes have rearranged. Okay. There's a thick mist that clings to everything. Okay. To your south even further is the ruins of this huge mansion.

And then towards maybe the southwest end of town, you can see a church and you can hear someone singing in the church. All of this. masculine voice. None of this matters to me right now. Where are my lead, like the, I guess the portal, the, wherever I'm leading to the... The portal appears to be the very dead center of town. You've clapped eyes on it. You can see this tear in the ethereal.

You can see this tear in reality that silver string leads right up into it and passes through. And on the other side, you feel way, you feel the aura. of the negative energy plane, a place where only the dead can exist, the opposite of healing magic. Okay. Well, okay.

Okay. Well, can I run towards there? If I need to, okay. Okay, okay. So I need to, it's a, I don't leap in. Uh-huh. Well,

I wouldn't suggest that. Yeah. Genuine sacrifice? Mm-hmm. Genuine, well, you, genuine sacrifice is what causes damage to the rate. Someone genuinely sacrificing their life. Mm.

means that they can cause damage to a wraith. I don't have a lot on me. I understand that. I think Hector and his current form doesn't have a lot of inventory, doesn't have a lot of things going. He's got a pendant of Peña, and he grabbed that, and I'm like, I don't know if that'll be a genuine sacrifice. But I do know what I have.

That is Hector, is an eye. So I reach in with my thumb and I yank it out. Well, that should be a check, I think. Well, I... The pain would be pretty intense on that one. Yep. Okay. It's, you succeed, but I wouldn't call it easy.

I was going to say, Adam, if you want, I am, can I spend an automatically, critically hit with my weapon? But I do minimum damage. Sure. Just to make it clean. Yeah, yeah. Smart. This is clean, yeah. This is costing us something.

Costing you something. It'll be a clean wound, I guess. Yeah, ripping it out. Saying, like, holding the medallion, saying a prayer to penio. And I guess, wrapping it up in the eye and putting it. through that hole. We'll come back to that. Pip, I believe it's your turn.

Okay. I'm an old man standing in the swamp. Yeah. Time for a nap. Cool. I guess it's facing me, yeah? It was pointing at you, but it's tiny's kind of almost in its way. Okay. I guess I'm going to go for two

meticulous shots, so two shots with advantage. Well, that balances out. Yeah. Yeah. You looking at your old man, hands, decrepit, my grey scales. Yeah. Yeah, all the color has drained

from your being. God damn it. You looking up, you squint your eyes so you can see the race. Oh, to find out I need glasses. Crit. Are you fucking kidding me? Crit, crit.

Are you fucking kidding me? Oh my God. Pip Mandarin. You. bastard. All right. So, and this will be another two. How many times have you shot it thus far? Twice. Twice? All right. Well, God, this is the full, the full Monty stuff. Because you're doing all radiant damage. Oh, wait, all radiant for one round. One round. Yeah, okay. Well, you know. There's still radiant bolts. Pressure point or pierced thigh.

Ooh, both sounds good. Both sound good. Both sounds interesting. What is? Pressure point. Let's go a pressure point. Quadruple damage and the target must make a con saving throw or be paralyzed. It's immune to paralysis. Yeah, but quadruple damage, I'll think. Which, for you, will be 4D4 on that first hit. Mm-hmm. And then for the second hit, we've got press the advantage or shoulder jab.

Press the advantage. Press the advantage, double damage, and, uh, yeah, well, it's not a melee attack. Double damage, though. Six D4 damage. It doesn't have healing, does it? I won't look. I'm going to be kind, and I'm not. I'm not going to look.

I'm an old man, Adam. Okay? You've made me elderly. What it would be really funny is Dastriel can cast that spell, but she can only cost it once a week. And if it happens again... Who do we pick?

Who goes first? You're a tiny. God damn it. Well, you got 60 days. 30 days. I got 30 days. It's fine. It's fine.

That is 10. I'm just remembering this will be halved as well. 16, 17 damage. Havd is 8. You deal 8 points of damage. Cool. F-k. Cool beans.

Twang. Twang. You've nearly done a third of its health. Hey, that's not nothing. Hey, that's pretty good. Considering. Considering, dude. I would say, yeah.

You know, that's not bad. Unfortunately, it's your allies's turn, and both of them, no, Iona hasn't, but both Tiny and Elaniel have expended all of the radiant force damage you gave them, and they have no other methods of doing force or radiant damage. So they're just kind of there to slow it down now. Yeah. Hubble away.

Which they, Tiny and Elaniel perform the distraction and help actions, respectively. So Tiny tries to create an opening for Iona, and Elaniel tries to impose disadvantage on its attacks. Okay. All right, Iona, what do you have? Show me something good. Come on. Okay, well, Iona, she just fires a light crossbow.

That's really all she can do and... Fuck. Oh, well. Miss hit. Okay. She wastes. Oh, no, advantage. Hit.

Hit. Hit. Okay. Thank God. She deals, or six, ten, twelve points of damage. Of six points of damage. Nice. Why'd I do that?

Why'd I, why'd I, screw us out of six points of damage? I mean, what's the difference, really? Yeah, look, okay. Okay. And then it would be its turn, but before it's its turn, it takes a legendary action. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Ain't I truly a little stinker?

Who's he giving a heart attack to now? It issues a wave of negative energy in all directions. Everyone needs to make a constitution saving card. Fuck, dude. Tiny, passes. Elaniel. Fails. Iona.

Fails. You. Fail. I think maybe, hey, I think you might as to succeed this one. Yeah. I just feel, I'm just going to, hey, someone, you know, tiredy succeeded, you can succeed. Yeah, okay. You know what?

Thank you. Thank you for that. I just feel. Yeah. Well, you only take half this damage then. Maybe I don't spend it. Are you spending it? Oh, because he's on like, what is his hells on?

I'm on 14. 23. Oh, 23. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, okay, you know, I spend it. Okay. That might be useful. Yeah.

You're not spending it? Not spending it. You are spending it. Yeah. Oh, good, because I forgot it's actually 5D6 necrotic, 5D6 cold. Maybe it wasn't worth it. Maybe it wasn't worth it. On the first round of combat, I did this too tiny.

Yeah. And not realizing that this is actually an area effect. So you actually all should have taken it. Fuck yours. All right, and you are spending it. Yes. So you will take half damage, Tiny will take half damage. Elaniel and Iona will take full damage.

Full damage being, 10, 20, 30, 38 points of damage. You take half. Half 38, eh. 19. That's real good. That's real good. Hey, you're on four.

That's perfect. I think so. Tiny. You only need one hit point. You know? That's what we always say. To get shit done, you only need one hit point. Elaniel goes from healthy to expose.

She's close to being downed Iona is downed You hear her cry in pain As the explosion ripples in all directions Iona collapses Tiny Just fucking bodies it Like a king

And you Pip are now on What did I say? Four hit points Which when you think about it Four hit points is just like A regular human Yeah Right

It's thought that that was his bonus attack His Lara Yeah it was a bonus It's got like a real one now No, that was a normal action. Oh, okay. It has a bonus action that it is going to use. Oh, thank God.

It attempts to create, it points at Iona and attempts to create a specter. Oh, oh. I only needed to make a saving throw. Fuck. Okay. Fuck. What do you? Iona passes.

Oh, thank God, dude. You watch as the color drains from Iona and the wraith attempts to give her a heart attack. And somehow she doesn't die. Okay. Elaniel is screaming and firing arrow after arrow after arrow after arrow. Elaniel stands over Iona's prone form and refuses to move. I feel this is how we make a vengeful undead. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Well, yeah. That's its bonus action. Okay. God. Yes.

Oh. Stop learning. Stop it. I'll stop. Stop learning. I'll stop reading. All right. I'll be kind to you.

All right. That is the wraith's turn. And then it uses a legendary action. Of course. It reaches out, Pip. No. You are going... Can't have a double heart attack.

Yeah. Are going to need to make a constitution saving throw. Or you would if it weren't for at that exact moment. Yeah. The wraith lifts up into the air and then... Explority. Good one, Hector. Hector.

You sounded a little blase. I think you sounded scared. Oh, okay. I'm reading blasi. All right. Well, Hector, forgive me. Forgive me, Joel. I believe it.

I believe I'm there. You're scared. I'm there. You're hand. I close my eyes and I can imagine Hector's hand in the negative. energy plane at this very moment as the tear in the reality of Barovia seals around your hand and you form a conduit between these two places, neither of them good.

Barovia is a place hostile to life, but the negative energy plane is, well, you thought, sorry, forgive me, you thought Barovia the shadow fell was a place hostile to life, but actually is just hostile to certain types of life. You could just end it with, it's just hostile. Yeah. The negative energy plane has a malice that you are unaccustomed to. You feel it is hungry. Hungry for something specific.

Hungry for suffering. Hector, for a brief shining moment, you think all it might take is your hand. Okay. So an eye and a hand. Right. Okay. No, that is not enough. You feel the negative energy plane burning its way through you.

It's like if hot, sorry, it's like if a fire could be cold, some sort of cold fire. It's terrible. I joke, but it is terrible. It's an awful feeling. And Hector, involuntarily, you begin crying. Because as the negative energy plane floods into you, as this. place so hostile to life that even undead find it intolerable in this land, as it burns its way through you, you feel that it is, it's almost like a, it's almost like a deal, Hector.

Oh, okay. The negative energy plane, the negative energy plane has spawned this wraith within Borovia, and the negative energy plane is pleased with this wraith. It causes suffering. It brings about death and destruction. And if you want to satiate the negative energy plane, you need to make a sacrifice as large as the damage this wraith could have caused. The negative energy plane sentiently wants from you.

And you feel it burning inside you and calling out for those last parts of you that you can call Hector. Hector the beautiful Hector the knight Hector Dragonsbane Hector the Lightbringer You have been reinvented so many times but you have always been reinvented as Hector

And the negative energy plane wants you to stop that The negative energy plane What is it me? What is it me? What am I giving up my brain? Am I getting lobotomize? The negative energy plane wants you to surrender, Hector, to stop being Hector, and to become something else. It wants every interview that remains.

And that will stop this race. Maybe, it says. And it laughs. It laughs at your attempts to seal this hole. The negative energy plane is not going away, not easily. I guess I just I pray to Pena I pray to my

former beautiful self I pray to the morning Lord I even pray to Gulliver at this point and I surrender Hector you feel as the negative energy plane pierces first underneath your fingernails and then from that point

from the seal between skin and fingernails as the negative energy plane rips back. Oh, my God. You feel your skin crack and boil and blister and burn and die. Hector, any part of you that was once Hector is suffused with negative energy instead. You watch as some weird sickness afflicts you. an illness and malady that no magic can heal for to purify you would be pointless. This is what your flesh is now. So, okay.

The negative energy plane burns away every inch of you, Hector. The only parts that remain are the parts that were never Hector. And to be fair, at this point, that's quite a lot. What is... What is that law call it? Hector, the parts of your flesh, the half of your head, the one hand you have, any part of you that was originally Hector, burns and shatters the skin underneath, fracturing and cracking, becoming like, not a desert, like a wasteland, cracked, mottled gray skin.

The parts of you that were originally Hector become... If you were not an expert in the field, you might assume the skin of a zombie. But instead of a black bile or dead blood oozing out, instead, out of the cracks, oozes negative energy. The negative energy plane lets you keep your quote-unquote hand. and seals itself shut but in exchange, Hector, there is nothing left if you could even call yourself that. I just stand still

looking at whatever I've become. So is it just, to the parts of me that were at once an A's meal? That's just all... That's gone. So the form is still human quotation mark? Not really, no I mean, it's shaped like a human I guess. Humanoid, I mean,

so the... You actually wouldn't even say that anymore at this point. No one would look at you and think you were ever once humanoid. You could be a construct, you could be undead, it's uncertain. So I guess the parts of the Asimia parts

that once this is a beautiful sort of a purple hue I always envisioned. A lotled grey. Now, cracked. So that was, yeah, so half the face still missed. So I guess I didn't need to sacrifice the eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was kind of just a pointless endeavor. Oh, you feel the eye disappear. Oh. You are not certain what has happened, but you feel a burning hot sensation. What? So, what's the soccer? I mean, I can't see. Yeah, you don't know.

I don't know. You got to ask when you get back to camp. Well, I just, um, I guess. I look at the hand that is no longer whatever it is. So it's still hand-shaped. It's just, so it's cracked and just, as you turn it over, as you flex and undulate your fingers, you feel an agony as your skin heals and cracks, heels and cracks. I guess I'm doing that with my face as well.

Yeah, every expression. Yes. And it feels and I guess every movement with the torso. Okay, cool. Well, I guess I just Look at that And then I look around Now I'm like

Scarecrow's Like a wait Singing man Laughing Laughing, okay Pip I hobble over to Elaniel is

Elaniel stabilizes Iona Tiny hobbles next to you So she's not going to come back As a revenant It's gonna be fine Don't worry. She's not showing the sign. Shut up, Elaniel says, holding pressure on Iona.

Sorry. I sit down on the side of the road. I might be fucked, I say. Hector did it. That's good. But I don't know where he's got off to it. I, yeah, this is, do I know that I have 30 days? Yeah, I would think you would.

Okay. This is the exact thing I say pointing to myself. Maybe I'm talking to tiny, because olenials, no paying attention. This is the exact thing you don't want to happen when you're fighting a race. I say, I'm going to need another wish spell that's unrealistic. A greater restoration of some kind. I think the, I think Thestriel can do that, but God knows where she is. Um,

Astral, we kind of left, like, near Valichai? She went back to, because after the refugees of the ghoul explosions, kind of ferried the survivors.

Yes, that's right. Where was she taking them? I believe, back to Valachai. Back to, you know, where you're mayor of. Oh, yeah, that's right. Your town. My town.

Pipville. Pipsburg. You know, by the way, Pip, actually. Horn guard, that seraphic dead that you saw, if you wanted to, now would be a good time. You can, when the body is destroyed, you can permanently kill a seraphic dead by performing a special right. As the body has been destroyed, if you wanted to, you could force the soul to faint the afterlife,

or you could give it the 24 hours it needs to find a new body, and then, you don't know if you would necessarily call this thing an ally. But it's up to you. Just saying you would know that. Yeah, okay. He did warn us. Yeah, he warned us. Look, he didn't seem to pose any threat to us. Seraphic dead are good a line.

Yeah, so I don't care what he does, really, you know? He's going to do his revenge seeking. It's sort of like, it's really not on my mind right now. I'm just like, does that also mean, like, the horse is revenge seeking? Or is the horse still around? A horse was probably just an undead horse. I wouldn't think too much about it. I would not call it.

Okay. that. Okay. I'm sorry. I just like the idea of a horse with a vendetta, Adam. What's that loves revenge? It's very funny to me and I like that he's like a little part of him. He's like, okay, well, I died, but the horse did, I gotta find my horse because we both have the same revenge. Yeah, that's true. And I don't want my horse to get it first. Yeah, it's like a thing we've got to do together. Like, if I did it without my horse, the horse's going to be cut. Yeah. He did it without me. This is the first time I've really clocked how obsessed this company is with horses. This is the first. This is the

Yeah, I'm not really like, oh, it's first like conceptualization of it. It truly is. Looking around all like the framed of the horse photos in this. It means I'm wearing horse t-shirts. I was looking for the pictures. Oh, there are, yeah, there's a couple. Well, there's one, I see.

Is there others? There might be some outside. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I guess I'm going to, do I know how long it would, do I know how long it would take to get back to Valachi? Not long to take... Valachi

Well, that's where Fast Dude weeks Okay And you're moving at half speed So Maybe literally

Like 31 days You need to get to Well Like actually might take you Just over a month That's so funny If you're moving

At half speed You need a With a horse I can't ride Yeah You could Make it there easily. Okay.

If we get to the druids, turn one of those into a horse. Yeah. They ride, well, you ride itched. Yeah. Okay. I mean, the undead horse is not going to be useful. All right. Is there like a, are we, I mean, it's a marsh, but are there any trees?

Like even old, scraggly kind of like individual trees, sure. Okay, I like, because Tiny's giving me nothing and Eleniel's distracted. I like hobble over to a tree. put my forehead to it and try and talk to tarposs. Hello. Like rubbing the side of the tree. Tarpos. Horse.

Where are you? That's real. Oh, that's pretty deeply funny. Pipp. Oh, Pip, that's so funny. Hello. Pick up. Even if you are able.

Horse, pick up horse. Even if you are able from sight alone to try and remember how to do this. Yeah. Tarpos needs to be... She needs to be on the line. Yeah, she needs to be on the line. I will say, actually, highs or lows?

Let's go highs. Oh, very lucky then. Ooh. Ah! Landing on the tree that you're trying to contact Tarpos through is a raven. Muriel? Ah! Just a raven.

Darpos? The raven hops the side of us. and regards you with one eye. I guess the ravens are good, you know? The raven flaps down a little bit closer, lands like right next to you, and then sticks out its leg. A message.

Right, okay. I like open my pack, pull out a bit of parchment, and I suppose I write, got by a race, 30 days left to live, old man, greater restoration, And then I roll it up, tied to the Ravens leg, and then throw it off.

Ah, the Ravens sails in the direction of Al-A-Kite. Well, I guess that's the best we can do. I hobble back over to Tiny. I don't know what kind of help I'm going to be in the next... I'm fucked, I say. You're not looking too hot either. Hang on. I'll open up my alchemy kit, and I will combine Amalekite with...

Unicorn horn for legendary sort of like, you know, power And then I guess maybe some blight skin for adhesive Because he's kind of splitting apart And I will try and make Like a salve that I can rub on Tiny

You heal Tiny back From wounded back up to healthy It still has that huge crack In its faceplate But apart from that it looks pretty much good as new Okay. And then I'll try and make another one using the same ingredients because I have quite a few of them to make something for Iona. You spoil it.

Sorry, buddy. Fuck, I'm too old. I'll try again. All right. You make another one for Iona specifically? Okay. Do you mind, I say, Delanyl? She nods and takes a couple steps back.

You can do it if you want, I say, and I hand it over the salve. She, at first she goes to snatch it from you, but then she stops and, you. For the first time in your relationship ever, she gently, caringly, piques it from your hands. She looks you earnestly in the face, and she says, thank you. Nothing.

No, I won't forget this. I like, take a step back so she can heal up by owner, and then, like, with my bad eyes, look out into the swamp for Hector. All right.