D&D is For Nerds - Barovia V #5 Barovian Tea

Episode Date: August 15, 2026

There's a saying in ol' North Warlocksburg: "Still water runs deep, and deep water runs wise, and wise water knows better than to answer questions it wasn't asked." Nobody can tell you what that means. Yet it gets recited at weddings, funerals, and most minor irrigation disputes. Usually with a solemn head nod for emphasis.It's also, if you ask around, the reason our little town turns out so many wizards. Why a farmer's boy from North Warlocksburg is more likely to end up hurling fireballs than herding sheep. Why every child is taught how to dispel magic before they can take their first steps.Now come sit down by the fire. Let me tell you a story. A story you may have heard before, and you may be right, but trust me when I say my version is the correct version. You see, I was there.Long ago, long before anyone here was ever born, an evil wizard lived here. Some say his name was Balthazor the Cruel, others claim it was Galbatorixium the Flaccid. Neither are correct. It was Steve. Steve the Red. One day, after a fruitful day of kicking dogs and cursing crops, the villagers had had enough and chased poor Steve through the square with pitchforks. Steve, you have to understand, while no one could kick a dog better than he, was truly awful sprinter. Especially when it came to hurdles. I never met a hurdle that Steve wouldn't just plow straight through and donk his head. You might have noticed those blue ribbons adorning my cabin walls, and you'd be correct. I did in fact steal them from the village's number 1 runner. He begged and begged and begged for me to give them back, but by then they were rightfully mine and no one was around to disprove him. So i just laughed and laughed in his stupid ugly good at running face. Got myself a lot of strange from those ribbons alone. You can have them when I pass. You look like you could use with the ribbon help. Now where was I? Steve? Right. Dogshit at running, tripped and fell straight into the town well. Never to be seen again. Neither was his hat, which personally I think was the real tragedy.That night, so the story goes, his dark magic seed seeped into the water, all at once, forever and ever. Everyone who drank from that well was touched by it. As was their children and their children's children all the way down, right to this very day. That's why they call it Wiz Water. And that's why when we drink, we drink deep in ol' North Warlockburg. Now raise your glass and take a sip, to the wizard below and the wizard to come.- Printed on every single bottle of Wiz Water sold by Warlockburg's Brewery If you supported the Jarren's Outpost Board Game, check your emails to manage your pledge manager! Of course you can still grab a copy right here and we insist you do xx o. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, my beautiful everyone, but especially you. A quick update about that board game we made. If you have back Jaron's Outpost the board game, you should have received an email about your pledge manager where you can finalize everything, get some add-ons if you'd like, and most importantly, put in your shipping information and pay for shipping. Now, shipping may be a bit more than some of you expected, and I am genuinely sorry, I just can't control that.

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about learning and I, like a lot of you, learn by play. I thought, hey, I'll just fix it up in post. Turns out, No, no you cannot. While I have you here, one of the other shows that we do on this beautiful, beautiful network, plumbing the Death Star, is coming to the UK in September, and tickets for that are now available also from our website. That's SanspansRadio.com slash events. So if you're in the UK and want to see myself and Jackson as well as our wonderful friend, Joel Dusha in the flesh, head to our website and grab your tickets. I think that's everything. I love you.

Keep being great and thank all of you so much, like genuinely, thank you all so much for the continued support over the years. It's crazy to think so much of my life would just not exist without you all. Far from the beautiful beaches of blue sand of my homeland is a place called Barovia, the place we now find ourselves. While they may look very different, one thing is the same, the sensation of being surrounded. We cannot leave this place, this disgusting barony of one Strad von Zarevich, at least not until we usurp him and take the throne for ourselves. Careful, though, Friesen carries a heavy price in these parts.

As the sun rises for both of you and you begin heading for one of you, northwest, for one of you, just west, the lands itself are trying to push you eastward, both of you. Hector, you are aware that it is not pointed at you. It is pointed at something far to your, well, not that far. something out to your west. The tiny body of Cribbett the Amazing looks infinitesimally small compared to the forces of nature

howling and throwing themselves about. Tarpos stitching Cribbett's soul back to his body. My lady! Is he meant to look hideous? What have we done to that poor frog? Wait. As you move

northwest and west The wind and rain do not stop, but after a certain point, they die down as they have lost their fight. Do I still have this stabbing in my back? Yeah, you feel twin pains like two daggers. You are aware, dimly, in a dull ache sort of way. You know how sometimes you can get, I personally, and yeah, I will see a doctor about this eventually. You know how sometimes in your abdominal area, you get this dull, stabbing pain, and you can't really tell exactly where it's coming from?

Do I? Do I know what back pain is like? Yeah, I know what it needs to have, like, a sore muscle in my legs. You're like, you're, you wouldn't say, oh, my stomach hurts. You might be like, my chest. You might not be like my thigh hurts You might be like my leg hurts Yeah I suppose

Yeah Like it's like something hurts And maybe it's nerve pain Yeah You're the township of Borovia hurts Right I get you Okay

Do I think it was the wind They certainly did happen at about the same time Yeah And I saw Tapa, I felt that happened. So I may, I look, but I know that that's not connected. You can try to access Borovia. Not right now. A little one.

A little one, can't hurt. That makes sense. Yeah, all right. If you're doing a little one, what are you doing? Why am I in pain? You see, overlooking beneath... Do you just take time as in like... You don't know how long it's...

You lose time, and whenever this happens, you lose time. Can I just... In the past, you have been ambushed like this. It's the past, it was a daze. I'll get on the horse first. I'm like, I sit there, it's just, whatever happened, you felt that too, right? Gretchen, the... I, what do you mean?

Like, the wind? The wind? Did you feel the wind? Yeah. There's something... Look, I'm just... She shows you... She, Gretchen wears full-plate armor.

She shows you her, she has kind of, like, exposed sections around her neck. You can see bloody welts from where rain has hit her. Right, we should get... Let's just keep... Let's just keep going. I might... Look, I just need to figure out what that was. I guess I explain

the meditative trance I go into just very, just so like She's seen this You're not to say You explain it and Gretchen goes Uh-huh Not even just like I need to look

I'm just going to Go in to find out what happened But we just stay on the road Okay I'll try I hope I I'll try not to fall And then I will Then I will go check

All right If you're doing a little check What exactly You've got to be pointed about this All right So my town of Barovia Hurst but why? All right.

I'm going to go with why am I in pain? All right. What is that? You see beneath Castle Ravenloft, but overlooking the township of Borovia, Fort, you wouldn't have this name for it, because you don't know the name.

You just know Fort Sand, a little fort that has been established by the Candanese. You see that fort. It's been made with, you could, the wood feels, yeah, there's like this too-natured thing. Ironwood trees are, like your childhood. Your childhood

was spent in sections of the ironwood forest with a tree called the ironwood tree. Very famous. It's a tree, basically as strong as steel. It gave Kandor a huge advantage over their opponents by use of... It's just a very strong wood. This is an ironwood tree

fort. It's as if the fort is made out of steel. So it's a really tough fort. But these logs of wood, when you feel, when you sense them, it's wrong. These are not Borovian trees. There is not, you realize,

an inherent malice to these trees. That's good. Whoa. Okay. That's nice. That feels bad. I push that down like,

no, that is good. That's what you want. No, that's good. Then, you can see, inside Fort Sand, there are two, and obviously Hector doesn't know these words, but so that the two of you understand,

two huge downward drills like you would drill for oil, are borrowing their way into the ground. Gotcha. Gotcha. Then as one of them, but then the other one, they both do it. They strike liquid deep beneath Borovia and black ooze begins sprouting, like, geysers out. Does that feel a little bit good, though? Is it like popping a pimple?

Like, like immense pressure. Oh, well, hello. Because I, look, I understand mining. I know what's swinging a pick accent. Yes. And I understand, like, a screw. Probably we'd have augurs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so I understand that, oh, this is maybe just there, like, some kind of like, like a mining thing. Yeah. But this idea of liquid rock, that's strange to me. Yeah. That is, what is that? You're, you're, you are the land. You're aware of this. So, Barovia has had so many adventurers die.

upon it and then soil and then adventurers and then soil. The pressure of Borovia. Yeah, okay. Fossil fuels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is an inherent to many of these adventurers as well. There was an inherent magic, either a connection to a deity or wizards or sorceress or adventurers with magical weapons.

This is incredible. This is incredible. This is incredible, Adam. I just want to remind you, Adam, about over 10 years ago, maybe a decade. Maybe this was off camera, off mic, I don't know. But there was this wonderful, maybe, let's say, argument, for argument's sake, of Jackson talking about what he would love to, he kept dubbing, Whizzwater, where an evil wizard or a sorcer or something like that.

Falls in a water source. Falls in the water. Poison the water. And now we have this whiz water that's a little bit magical. Like, you know, maybe it's cursed by a dark wizard or whatever. And you braided him. Called me a doofus. Can I say.

Dumb boy doofus idiot. Can I say, I'm giving you what you want? I know. I'm aware. I had to access it in a very different way. I'm just saying this is great. This rocks. I love it.

That's all I'm saying is this is taking 10 years to pay off. But finally we're here and I adore it. Exactly. So yeah, it does feel a little good. And after the drills are removed, now that these huge guises of black, magical, a little bit liquid are spurting out, you watch as workers connect huge pipes over these holes, and that liquid is funneled from Borovia out into Candor. Okay. As leader after leader becomes giga leader, becomes beyond that,

You feel as if an energy transfer is taking place. And distantly, you are, because this was Borovian oil. Yeah. You feel as the Borovian oil begins to power lights and engines. No. Okay. Okay. Okay.

The city of Blue Beach in a distant future that is unfamiliar to you, You threw your connection to the land, you feel, what did you do? What am I currently doing? So I can sense the, like, I am the oil. You are dearly aware of candor being powered by this. So I can kind of, I am like, I'm seeing. As the time moves differently as well, you feel candor experience through the oil, you feel candor experience a mechanized golden age.

I experienced that in presumably like five minutes for a video time or whatever but I can sense like history of candle right like that's What do you mean sense the history

This is all future But yeah but but like their history sort of thing Well yeah it is the future for me But I'm experiencing it as I go along Because I'm experiencing everything as oil Yeah Or like if oil

If the oil had eyes Yeah If the oil had eyes So I'm sort of experiencing You are transferred, doled out into these giant metal ships, some that go underwater, vehicles that fly through the air. So I'm getting like heaps and heaps and heaps and heaps of snapshots. That's too much of information for you. Forceless wagons.

Forceless wagons. You feel as you are incorporated into weapons of war and commerce and industry. Yeah, so you know how like you, Pip had a lovely like tree experience of Borovia. Yeah. I'm kind of getting that. It's too much. It's too much for you to understand. Like fifth element,

multiparce, like getting to somehow W for war. And that's what ticked to, you know, experiencing that, right? That's what it's happening. You are burned in flamethrowers. Yeah. Yeah. You are distilled into gas and petrol. Jesus Christ.

You are turned into LP 91, 98 and 99. Oh, man, I'm plastic. You're made into plastics. I'm in landfills. You're in landfills. Oh, my God. I'm strangling turtles. You're strangling turtles.

You are removed at length from a turtle's nose. Oh, no. What did you do? Oh, no. But I'm also Tupperware. Yeah. And vibrators. That's nice.

Standing mentally, just on the other side of the tear between Candor and Borovia, you look back at a huge, neon sign powered by you that says the Barovian Electric Company. Because initially I was like, this might feel weirdly like good in a way because you're like, well, all these adventures, they're not natural. They're not of Brovia. They're not natural. And just because, you know, they've been basically, like they're, they are a very alien thing

that has come into this land and it's been squished down and pushed out. And this is what they've turned into it. It's black oil. They became Barovina over time. Yeah. It sounds like this is black, disgusting. You need to rid yourself off. Yeah, it's inky black. And my familiarity with inky black

is something that corrupts. So I want that gone. And so there's that part of Hector, which is like, I've got rid of the thing. And maybe maybe Barovia wasn't always, you know, so corrupted. And this is getting rid of this. This is kind of like, this is a bloodleting. Yeah, kind of. But I guess it's like... No, it does not feel like that.

They weren't of Borovia, but there's nothing more barovia than dying in Brovio. Yeah. So, yeah, so initials are, oh. Okay. What the fuck? I guess I froth at the mouth and have a seizure. Yeah, speaking off, Pip, yeah.

You, at a certain point, riding westward, you encounter two riders heading along a trail that goes south north or north-south, whatever. They're heading northward on a trail that, for you, would be going south. Two riders on horseback. one you recognize but who is unconscious and the other you don't recognize I don't think I can go unconscious now that I think about it Oh your awareness is elsewhere

Yeah I can I just be My eyes are open but I'm catatonic Yeah basically you meant to It was just a short little You know just a little trip And then accidentally you saw Like a hundred years of Of Cantonese innovation

Progress Is he frothing at the mouth a little little bit. I would allow you... At least drooling. Yeah. I would allow you to make that decision. What happens when you got that much? Flickering eyes? Yeah, it looks like I'm...

It looks like I'm speed reading. Eyes odd. I just open to speed reading. Okay. You also, Hector, you also see that, I mean, this contract, the tear between Kandor and Borovia would be even for Strad, a thing very difficult to knit back together. You watchers the Candonese from their side and then from

Barovian side, there are reinforcement struts on it now. It is beyond being difficult to knit. You don't know if it can be knit back together. That's like we imagine it's like you know the contract is somewhere in some like you know, Candonese like high

like throat room or like whatever they have now just like framed. The best deal I ever made. He's Flora. Look this idiot. Cost us like a gun. One gun, all this. Yeah, 20 men, one gun.

Yeah, enjoy these beads. We're going to take all the land from here to the sunset. Yeah. Okay. Good deal, me. Okay. So are we, are we making this sound. The woman who is in full plate armor and is, uh, yeah, no, she does have a holy symbol around her neck. You did a pretty good job on the religion check.

Gulliver is a dead god, but you. have heard of Gulliver. Okay. It's kind of famous on us. Yeah, yeah. She, when she sees you, your group, she looks at each of you in turn, and you can see she's a little bit hesitant, but then she calls out from quite a distance away. Yeah.

You see she's trying to protect Hector. Yeah. She calls out PIP? Yeah. And who, who's the guy she gestures to Keening? What's his name? Keening? All right.

Um, I, I, what's wrong with Hector? He just does this, she says. What? I'm getting off my horse. Hang on. She gets off hers. I'll slide off the back of whoever's horse I was riding. She leads both horses a bit closer.

She, after confirming your name and then checking, like, independently, another person's name, she seems a little bit more confident. But as she approaches, one hand with guiding both horses, one hand on her sword. This is the first time you're seeing me as a Franken monster? Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, it looks much. Mostly like Hector. Who has the scepter to power him or to control him.

What? Never mind. What's, what? Just your at him. He said he had to, he didn't tell me. Right. He said he had to look for something. I don't know.

What, in his own mind or? I think he like goes through the trees or something. He didn't really. He, like, made a deal with strad. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry, she, finally, I did it accidentally. But it coincided with her not remembering. She does a little kiss to her lips and then puts her hands up.

Yes, no, I know he made it. Can I see the bite marks on his neck from here? Probably, yeah. Looking up. How long is it? Well, maybe I ask. When did he start? This morning?

What time? is it? It's about midday. Just a little, just a little, little, little, little, quick, trick. He does this a lot. Does it normally take this long? Yeah. Okay.

Well, then. I don't think he's ever gone for like more than, less than an hour. Right. Okay. And he's checking through the trees. He, he, oh, that's right. He was like stabbed, but, um, he's not been wounded, but he felt like he was stabbed. He doubled over, he nearly fell off his horse.

I think he, sorry, he did fall off his horse. Um, he's fine now though Well, he had to look He doesn't look fine He had to look and see what stabbed him I think And this is the result Yeah

Does he normally make that noise? No, this seems pretty intense He doesn't usually Sometimes he speaks But he doesn't do This is intense Does anybody have any leather We can put in his mouth

So he doesn't swallow his tongue Elaniel hops off her horse Wonders over And then puts like a leather strap In his mouth If you expect I want to say

If you inspect my eyes You can kind of see, like, you know those, like, videos of just a camera watching a highway and just seeing the lights go by? Yeah, that. Just that. Well, let's get him off the horse, I say. If you don't want him to fall and break his neck.

You help Hector off the horse? Yes, Adam. I help Hector off the horse. You help Hector off the horse. Okay. to lay him down on the grass. Put a bit of leather in his mouth. Okay.

Gretchen. Gretchen, right. I never learned Gretchen's name. No. You didn't, I don't think you knew she existed. No, I did. Somebody told me that Hector, so the woman that Hector went back to try and find. Yes. Yes. Okay. Yeah.

Well, yeah. How is he? As Hector's lying the ground, I, like, kneel down and I pull up his upper lip to check his teeth. He's got some new teeth Oh, sorry, I see what you're saying Yeah It's bottom jaw ain't mine

Yeah The bottom jaw isn't his Yeah You, Pip, see the beginning stages of vamporism Yeah, okay Well, that's not a surprise, I suppose But it is disappointing to see

And then I turned his neck in the side And I check the bite marks It's very strange actually Usually the way it works Is the vampire drains their victim And then after they've been buried, if they haven't been prepared properly, they will come back as a vampire. But in this instance, it seems as if Hector is still walking around during that phase. Oh, that's interesting.

That's very interesting. He should be at this time dead. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Strad, like, killed him. Yeah. Okay. Hmm. I...

Oh, God. This is... Do I believe this is reversible in any way? You don't know what this is. Well, that's what I mean. But like, get my basic understanding of the process of vampirism. As I said, Hector should be dead right now. The way that you stop this is by chopping his head off and then he doesn't come back.

Yeah, it's kind of too late for that. Yeah. You could, yeah, you could, quote unquote, stop him from being a vampire, but you can't bring Hector back. Yes, okay. Well, that's sad. How is like a lenial and Keening and tiny reacting to this? Keening, you can see, has he

Anyone who didn't really know Keening would think that he was pretty at ease right now. He's got one hand on, he has this huge belt with a huge belt buckle. He's got one hand, one thumb through that belt and then the other one kind of resting on his hip. Yeah. But you recognize this is actually a,

this is what he does right before he blasts someone with fire. Yeah. at any moment is about to like launch into a spell. Elaniel is kneeling next to you looking worriedly at, at Hector's bite mark. Elaniel looks at you. She doesn't really know vampirism much at all, but she knows that this bite mark doesn't mean anything good. Tiny is standing off to one side petting one of the horses. I turn to Gretchen.

Probably best you fill me in and... You wake up. It is all burning. Still like I can feel it. All of it at once, years and years pouring down my throat. It, into my head that it doesn't fit. It doesn't fit. There was a road and no more dark left in it.

It's just flame after flame after flame. And their family, it walked alone at night like the night. It owed them nothing. And I gave them that. I bought the light. I bought the light. and the sky, a whole sky gone. Some city forgot what stars were for, and I don't,

I don't think anyone noticed the night it happened. Nobody wrote it down. I was the only, there was a child though, shouldn't have breathed, did anyway. I don't know the name. I was inside the metal that saved it. I was in, I was in the room, and nobody thinks to thank the thing in the wars, and I drowned. Did you understand that?

I drowned in engines and factories. I never wants us to be asked. Nobody asks. Nobody asks what it costs to burn. They just light it on fire. The whole world, they light it on fire. Ash. Ash and sand. And Pip. Pip. Pip. Is that you? Yeah.

I just look around. You can see Gretchen, her hand on her sword looking very worriedly. at you. Elaniel on her butt just next to you looking horrified at you. You know Keening well enough at this point. You could tell he's about to cast a spell and then

a giant bug person is patting a horse. Who's the bug man? Tiny. His name's Tiny. He loves it. Tiny gives a huge flutter of his wings and looks over at you meaningfully. Well, you assume

he has no face to make No, I kind of like Slaiby just yeah still sitting down but like yeah half up just kind of nod to tiny Nice to meet you I didn't see any of them did I What's the

You strangers I mean You were a hundred years from now You were in a plane flying over Kibosh the capital of Zem Jada As it dropped bomb after bomb

after bomb. You, from the plane, see kibosh in flames. The city has been nearly devastated, nearly completely wiped out by Kandinese bombing. I, there's, I need to warns how many people. Um, was there any also, Adam, just for my own sanity, I guess for heck was I was like, there's other good things happened as well, right? Yes, good things happened. Yeah. Industry, commerce, and other things. things did occur. You were in ships, sailing the seas, delivering goods and just transporting people. You were in motorized vehicles. Plastic toys. You were in plastic toys. Medicine, like, you know, we powered hospitals. There's all those kind of things that were made possible.

You were. Also, I saw the devastation of... You were in a million places and a million times, and many of them were either harmless or benevolent. You were, yes, you were in hospitals. You were incorporated into sterile equipment that saved lives. But, Hector, if I know you well enough, I feel like you would have seen one moment of horror and would not have been able to look away. Yeah. You saw as Kandor marched through Zemjada burning and destroying everything they saw. You watch a Zemjada, you watch from a dozen, a hundred, a thousand planes as they fly over Zemjada cities and drop bomb after bomb after bomb.

You watch the war between Kandall and Zemjada. Very briefly, you see a face that you think looks heaps like Cavendish's face. As he, within, not at the head of, but just within an army, marches and drives across. Semjada conquering. And then, after both the benevolent, the harmless, and the malevolent, through all of that, you hear a name. You hear Gretchen say a name. And then with a Herculean effort, Hector, here you are.

I was a stent in a little girl's heart. I've so much, and then the bombs, they dropped them. Who dropped them? The cantonies, on whom the gnomes. Kibosh is, will be maybe. gone? I don't know what you're talking about, Hector. Where are we?

Somewhere in the slavage woods. Oh, right. I'm in Borovia. Yeah. This is Brovia. The pain you felt, Hector, begins to become more and more distant. You, Hector, maybe you can, Hector, you can still care about people, but you, this increasing distance with people is difficult for you to overcome.

Huh. There was just, it was part of a cog in the machine. Did you find out what was stabbing you? Yes. And is it all good? Far from it. Okay. It's Candoah.

Right. It's the Cantonese. The Cantonese whom you signed some kind of contract with? Another deal for Hector? Yes. Okay. And now forgive me, Hector. I clearly don't currently possess the sights that you do.

I stand up. But I don't see any Candonese around. Was it like a dart? No, it is. The Cantonese are taking... Have... It's happened, Hector. It's already happened.

Even if we took an axe to the pipeline... It has happened. It's written in oil. So I know what oil. Well, I guess I know oil in the context is like something you put on your sword. Yeah, like olive oil or, yeah, like a weapon sharpening oil. Written in oil and... Prude.

Barovian tea. Plastics. I don't. I don't. No, they, um, botchers coming. Yeah. And, um, no one wants to. Right.

And they will, I look at myself and just like, they will dissect everyone here. Maybe stitch us back together. No one seems to. Tapos doesn't seem to care. I mean, yeah, but the druids. We both make, I feel, the same, Jeff. Who knows? No one seems to care.

The Cantonese will stop them. You're confident in that? Seen what they can do. Okay. Well, that. seems like a good thing then. Yeah. For now.

Right? For now and then they are stabbing you. So this, yeah. They've drilled deep into the land. Right, right. With an auger, but as big as a, it's bigger than a house. Okay. And they're extracting something?

Minerals. The oil, oil. Right. It's like a liquid. It's like a liquid rock, let's say. Does that make sense? Sure, no. I get it, Hector.

Why is this of relevance? I mean, if it's a natural resource of some kind, let them have it. Who cares? No, I know. I guess it is fine. But I could see what they were going to do with it. Yes. Oh, okay.

Right. Nothing good, I'm guessing. No, lots of things good. Many things. Hoorah, even. I don't imagine any of us

have lowered our weapons. No. Alainio has, over this conversation, has slowly gotten up and she's holding her bow at a low ready. Yeah.

But it's like, we have like an equivalent at like, with the, yeah, it is like when, I guess, they discovered magic.

You can heal somebody, yes. Right. But you can also cast a fireball in an orphanage. Okay. Yeah, yes. So devastating.

Gretchen reaches down with an arm to help you up. Thank you, Gretchen. Thank you. I don't know if you should get up just yet. Let him stay sitting down until he's composed himself. Oh, whatever. Yes. Sorry, it is disorientating. Yeah, I can imagine. I just connected to the land as you are.

How long have I been out, Gretchen? A couple hours, three, four, maybe? Time works differently here, I guess. Yeah, she says. Okay. Gretchen looks over at you, Pip. Okay. I don't look at me.

Right. He's your friend. Ar, she says. No, I say, I'm our friend. Yes. He's very highly of you. Well, that's very kind of him. Often.

You're a bird you muster now. No, it's an ugly rumor. But I... Keening, the tension is cut when Keening lofts at that. But we've elected a new burgomaster, yes. I point at you. Yeah, you... No, no, no. We've got

an interim Burgeon Master, while the real one's out here doing this. Nice that you're fine. Well, it's interesting that it's nice to hear that you're no longer I guess running from the problems. Yeah. Well, Hector,

it's good to have you back. Thank you. We're on our way to meet Tappos. You come with? Yes, of course. Could everyone lower their weapons? I am still me, I think. Keening puts both of his, he now has two thumbs in his belt instead. Elaniel doesn't change her posture, but you, oh, sorry, doesn't change what she's,

where she's holding her bow, but a posture slackens a little bit. I'll let the crossbow drop, so it's still hanging in front of me, but my hands aren't on it. Right. Am I really that much of a monster? lots of things to discuss Yeah a lot to discuss Yes so to butcher the Yeah another dark place

Yeah do you know much about the dark around here Does anybody know it seems that Travelers who come through You could ask them Keeing nods as well Actually yeah you're speaking to probably Keening Elenial and Pep Would be among the people who know the most

Yeah So from what I can gather Is that every so often There's a little skirmish Some kind of spat Yeah They seem to all be trying to vie for more land and

everybody wants a piece of the shit pie. Yeah. He wants it, yes. And so I guess it is the devil you know versus the devil you don't. Yeah. Well, I think I know both devils. My understanding is the Amber Temple might be a well sought after

a piece of royal state as well. A point to Canning. That is my theory as well. And at this moment Strad has and he's had control over it and he has not plunded it. But I I fear when Borchor comes. She ripped me apart.

Yeah, I can see. I look at Keating again and just the flash of like, you know, my hand that belonged to this like crushing his like neck and just, I saw your sester. Oh, fuck. Yes. Right. What? What? What?

Did I, did I, uh, parent gave you a letter? Did you get the letter? I don't think so. Oh, yes. I tore it up. I didn't read it. I didn't want to know. Pippi.

You don't know her like I do, Kina. She really seemed to... Every Mandarin sibling, I can't even begin to describe it. So, plan is... She's with... She's like a pet. Everyone is trapped there.

That's probably a good way to keep. Everyone's trapped here as well. No, no, no, no. I'm not... Sorry. Yes, they're trapped, but it is a... I explain the... the like the mechanics around their hearts,

how they're just all controlled. Right. And then like put together and their mindless and... Sort of like being bitten. No, not like being bitten, Pip. I think we've all experienced that. No, I mean, sort of like, it's fine. Go on. Sorry.

Like being, um, you can't do anything because of fear of death. Right. They will, she will just... Kill you like that. You don't seem to care. No, it's just, Hector, I see no difference. You don't see the difference. Not particularly.

I don't think this changes much. No, that doesn't change much, but you don't see the difference between what that place is and this place. Heck, forgive me, but you've only lived here, what, a year? I was in Bortchre for three weeks. Yeah, and we've been in Boreauvia for, well, I've been in Boreauvia for five years. I don't think that there are such degrees of evil like you're describing. I kind of just like open up by like, I woke up halfway through.

I didn't have a jaw. This is not me. This is nothing. I don't remember anything. This is worse. There are fates worse than this. I don't want to, in any way, dismiss what happened to you, Hector. And I'm not saying we should give over to Borture.

I'm just saying that if you position one as worse, you must therefore position the other as superior. and I fear that's a dangerous sort of tract to take. That's all I'm saying. So what, things are either bad and good and that is it? They're all dark places, Hector. Everything has, he is, is, is. Cannot believe I am the one telling you this.

Please. There are shades of gray. Yeah. Not everything is black and white. Not everything is good and evil. I know. Hector, I kind of think maybe this one is, though. Yes, they're not good.

Nothing is good, but one, I think I would rather have myself than be torn apart and put back together. I think I'd rather fight them both. Yes, I'm not saying not to. Oh, okay. Why does everyone think? It's just the wounds in your neck, Hector. We know what that means. Unlike you, Pip, I don't run from a fucking problem.

You give in. Give in? I have given my blood. I have given me. my tears, I have given my very soul and my flesh. I have given everything to help everyone. And I have asked for nothing in return. Look, forget it. I shouldn't have said it. That's my bad. That's mandor intact. Forgive me. If candor is to deal with the borture problem, fantastic. And then if we are to deal with the borovia problem, even better. Right? And then if we want to stay, we stay. And those who want to

go may go. Do you want to go? Yeah. All right. Do you want to go now? Yes. Where would you like to go? Sorry.

No. I've been. This is where I need to be. Or at least, I can't leave alone. Everyone who wants to leave must leave. There are some here, Hector, who can't make that choice right now. I need to get all of the dust elves out of here. And maybe that's even beyond your power.

I mean, if it's not fantastic, we should do that as soon as possible. But there are people to whom I have a responsibility. Yeah, yeah, me too. Okay. Perhaps a double-headed approach or a twin-strike approach. These, this Scandinese force, they need help or are they going to be enough on their own? I need a way to talk to Byron. He is the one that was scoping out there, I guess, military might, but I've seen what they can do.

If it's a fraction of what they've seen, they can, I don't know, to be honest. All right. Butch's men. Porch's army, if it assimilates any of them, it also might be bad for us. Well, perhaps we can split ourselves into two forces, depending on what Pip says. But one force can deal with Borcher and the other force can deal with, well, perhaps decapitate, two decapitation strikes at the same time. The lodestone, where does that fall in your plans? Tarpos is cleansing it and I fear, where as soon as that happens, that is when the...

That is when the... That is when Stride will be at his weakest. Yeah, no, that makes sense. The mists around the dark place will be... Fades. Transients you can come through, right. Okay. The army, I describe the army.

I describe kind of what I saw. I describe all of that kind of stuff to just be like, they just are constantly experimenting this kind of stuff. So there is that. Yeah. Versus, well, I gesture to Gretchen. I mean, you saw what it was like at Castle Ravenloft. What would you tell him? What is there?

Castle Ravenloft, there was a party happening while we were there. Right. People from across Sparovia and some other dark places, guests of she kisses her lips and points to the sky. He was hospitable towards us. So no standing army, you're telling me. He has a, like, an honor guard, but certainly, I've seen both armies, and I think I know who the winner will be. And with the addition... I kind of tell you how many, like, I think the Army of Strath is this much.

Yeah, right. Yeah. And the Cantonese? They promised... I believe it's 2000, you've been promised. Yeah. They promised... At a moment's notice, or will they need some forewarning? To muster up the troops.

The camp seems pretty well-stocked at the moment. You imagine they don't need much notice. I don't think they need much notice, to be honest. They will be ready to fight. It just depends. I'm pretty sure I know vaguely where they will come from. Right. Well, I think our plan should be this.

Last lodestone. We're meeting with Tarpos soon, hopefully. Momentarily, yeah. Tarpos takes her cohort, head south. cleanses the last of the load stones If that's enough to let Bortcher pierce Then we should be ready for Bortch to pierce

We let Tarpos head south We reconvene gather Get the band back together as it was Check in with Pyr and see what his assessment Of enemy forces and allied forces are And then we make our plan Either one attack against Bortcher And then we swing round on Tassel Ravenloft

or a dual attack on Castle Ravenloft and Borchre. If we're clever, we can get Ravenloft, we can get the devils, we can get his forces out of the castle, have him as weak as possible. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I suggest, he gestures to you, Hector. I suggest, as someone who knows at least a little bit about the enemy forces and the lay of the land, I suggest you lead that army, and then the...

Pip, if you want to lead the assault against the devil, that would be your expertise, I suppose. The thing is with the devil, it won't be the end of it. We then need to go to the Amber Temple. Yeah, of course. Well, when that's done, we reconvene, head to the Amber Temple and then finish this once for all. Don't see the problem of this? No, right. Yeah.

Will, for the time being, as best as possible, try to keep the... the details of this conversation private. I think at best of people don't know any internal divisions right now. Not to say, I just like, I don't understand. Everyone I speak to, they don't seem,

it's like rob my snail. We just put down one person who, uh, uh, had a conversation with Strad. And I, uh, hope,

I hope sincerely, I never have to do it. it again. No, I understand that you think that I am ignorant, galleble a child. Strad is not the problem here. It is vampier.

Hector, I don't think you're a child. You just maybe have a and this is from one to another. You maybe have a heart a bit too big. I hope it's still mine. I think

for the assault on Bortcher, I look back at like the crew that we have here, and they're particularly tiny. Let's send our least interesting generals. Yeah. To fight Borja? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, to be honest, we're fighting Borchia. I mean, Pip, you might be needed. Your sister is there? No, I'm not going to see her. She's got no good intention for me whatsoever. She was very adamant about it. I bet. Were you running away again?

From her? Yeah. Okay. One at a time. What is wrong with her? She freed me. Yeah. Well, I didn't say she was a bad person, did I? Elaniel speaks. We will need the township of Borovia.

We have spoken with Kresik. We have spoken with Valakai. We have spoken with Kuturi. The township of Borovia, perhaps while one speaks with Pyrrion, another should speak with the town, see what we can, see what forces we can gather there. When was the last time you were there? I have not been there for over a year at this point. It's pretty bad.

It's pretty bad when we left. Well, if you think it's not worth it, then perhaps we can ignore it entirely. There is a, I think a few fighting men there. Okay. If you think it's worth it, then perhaps we visit there. I would just keep my name out of it. Elenial nods. Mine too while we're talking about it.

Well, they don't like me either. Everyone looks at Keenan. I'll go there then. Okay. Well, look, the next step is to meet up with Tar Pos. Once we take care of that, we can start putting the other plans into action. Be careful, Keeney. I will.

You should be meeting Tarpos soon, so maybe I head to Borovia now on my own. The vision I got of him dying. Was that in the town of Barovia? Or was it like, I understand that like that was kind of, you know, if I hadn't freed myself. Yeah, yeah, it was a what if it was a what if kind of situation. I don't remember if I placed it. Yeah. I don't think it was just in the middle of combat. Would I be able to like, yeah, was it anywhere that's like, you know, he might be going now solo.

If it was anywhere, it would be in Castle Ravenloft. Okay, okay, okay. All right. You might even recognize the whole way. Yeah. Okay, cool. That's good to know. Yeah, yeah.

All right, so. If you don't want to take Tiny, perhaps? Tiny's probably not going to leave my side. Maybe. Damn, damn it. I don't know if I like the idea of you. Keening looks over at Gretchen. You seem capable.

You want to come with? Sure good fighter. You're going to Borovia. Yeah, I believe that's the plan. I look at Gretchen. I don't think we want to go back there. Gretchen shrugs. I can go back and get the impression you can.

She looks at Keening, and she has a... this very earnest expression that PIP seems pretty familiar in a lot of ways. She has this very earnest expression and she says, there was a house and I believe tortured spirits within, I would like to

set them free. Keening nods. I keep my eyes firmly in my sockets. Ah. Yeah. Okay. Well, It's not of this place. I'll, um, wait.

I'll see you. I guess I was, are they, are they heading off there now, right? Yeah, they're going to head that way now. I'll just, you know,

as he's, we're walking towards the horses or whatever, I will just fill Keening in on everything about the town of Bavovia, the hotel of the undead, the priest that had the kid vampire. Keating seems pretty devastated. to hear that.

Yeah. The priest. Yeah. So that, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, clearly two ghost children that were going to murder us. Oh, right. I haven't, oh, hang on, a note. I reach into the, the, the, the, the, breast pocket of, like, the note that was

written by the heretic of period or whatever to be like, maybe Purin wrote it, but I found it on the, on the corpse, exoner in a jar of, anyway, here. If you show it to Keening, he says, this is black. He shows it to you. I look at it. It's Pyrin's handwriting. I think, I say, I like to imagine I've got my put in this stirrup of like, I'm about to get on the horse. I think you've been tricked by a ghost, I say.

I turn it to you. Do you see anything? It's blank. Yeah. But Gretchen, you can, Gretchen, you can. Gretchen, yeah. Yes, it says what he says. I don't know Pyrin's handwriting, but it says that to me.

Right. Well, okay. Well, here you go. I give that to King. Maybe there's some magic about it or something. If you had gone into this house. I described what the house was. All that jazz.

Also, the, um, yeah. I don't know. I mean, like Gretchen's going with. I don't know if you need to. Oh, that's rude. Yeah. I don't know if you spent a lot of time. I don't know if you spent a lot of time.

You feel responsible maybe. Yeah. And also I do, and I will fill in him about when I was like, oh, and what I sensed, basically. Sure. Yeah. That aspect of it. So, um, do you think you need the help I can come with, but. No, no.

Keening says. I mean, I'm pretty good at. keeping myself alive out here. I've already survived death once. I'm sure. How hard could a second time be? Well, I hand him Muriel's feather. No, you keep that.

You might need it more than I. No, I think you might need it. Keening takes it, considers for a second, then gives like a, fair enough, and he pockets it. All right. Well, good luck to both of you, but all of you generally.

We'll be back as soon as we can with whatever help we can muster. I like to take his hand. Be careful. I mean, I know you will, but, you know, I'd never forgive myself. I didn't say it. Don't forget. Tarpos, meeting.

Give her, I don't know, I'm sure you can communicate some sort of signal. When she cleanses the last lodestone, that's the cue to kick it off with Borgia. Hopefully, at the same time, we'll have the forces to decapitate both our problems in one go. Yeah. It's dumb. When you do raid Bacostom. So don't kill the civilians. That is there.

We would never. I just don't know. Fuck. What a thing for Hector to say to Pip. Keening and Gretchen ride off.