D&D is For Nerds - Barovia V #6 The Shapes that Bind Us

Episode Date: August 22, 2026

An army marches on its stomach. Please do not take this literally. As impressive as it may look, a thousand men flopping, rolling and laughing in the mud is neither intimidating or practical. What I a...m talking about is, very simply, food. Every quartermaster knows the phrase "send a druid before the cart and the army eats before it starts". Yet seldom do they know the second part of the phrase: "but slight her once, and mark it well, the forest keeps its own farewell". To put it bluntly, be nice to your druid and she'll be nice to you. This is harder than it sounds, as druids are, quite frankly, miserable countrymen. A druid does not march in formation, screams at most steel weaponry and will stop the whole host because a hedge "seemed unhappy about something." A druid will let a man go hungry on principle before she lets him shoot a doe that hasn't finished raising her fawns. She she will not apologise and she will remember exactly which soldier complained the loudest. Men who have survived three sieges without flinching will cross an entire camp to avoid a druid's disappointed silence. It is, by every account I've collected, deeply unpleasant to be quietly out-ranked in a moral argument by someone holding a badger and has sunflowers in their hair.None of this matters however, as in the end it is a matter of arithmetic.To feed 50 men for one week without a druid, you will need:* 3 supply wagons* 6 oxen to pull them, and feed for the oxen* 2 armed escorts per wagon, minimum, against bandits, wolves and goblins. Especially goblins.* 1 forager scout, who will get lost so best make it 2 forager scouts* Standing goodwill (or standing coin) with whichever village you're passing* A contingency plan for when the village has, quite reasonably, hidden its grain* An extra crate of soft-leather shoes you can boil for "shoe soup"To feed 50 men for one week with a druid, you will need:* A druid* Several unruly horses you hate (to feed said druid)I once witnessed a single druid consume eleven horses over the span of a six week campaign. She never once touched the venison, the rabbit or the fish she herself had summoned to shallow water out of what I can only assume was professional courtesy to the fish. Only the horses. By the third horse I finally asked her why. She considered the question with the seriousness of a woman being asked to explain colour to someone born without eyes. She said that she liked them. Not the meat. Them. For the better part of a decade I have not stopped thinking about her answer and I am no closer to understanding it. In my youth, I naïvely thought it was only this particular druid that had a penchant for horse meat. Let me tell you dear reader, I had never been so wrong in my entire life.- On the Matter of the Marching Stomach, and Other Inconveniences of War by Quartermaster-General Ordo Bramblehoof If you supported the Jarren's Outpost Board Game, check your emails to manage your pledge manager! Of course you can still grab a copy right here and we insist you do xx o. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I've known many evil places in my time, but this realm, called Borovia, is among the most dangerous. A man could drown here, though he wouldn't need any water to do so. This place is ruled by a man, no more a creature, actually, known as Strad von Zarovich. It is said that anyone who can slay him will be set free, if they don't die in the attempt, of course. Portures coming. Heck did I see no difference. I don't think this changes much. It doesn't change much, but you don't see the difference between what that place is and this place.
Starting point is 00:00:39 I think I'd rather fight them both. Yes, I'm not saying not to. Oh, okay. Why does everyone think? It's just, if candor is to deal with the borgia problem, fantastic. And then if we are to deal with the Borovia problem, even better. Don't forget. Tapos.
Starting point is 00:00:57 meeting when she cleanses the last lodestone. That's the cue to kick it off with borgia. Hopefully, at the same time, we'll have the forces to decapitate both our problems in one go. Yeah. Just, um, when you do raid the castle, don't kill the civilians. That are there. We would never. I just don't know anymore.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Fuck. What I think for Hector to say to Pipp. Keening and Gretchen ride off. I'm glad I'm behind Elaniel I imagine on the horse glowering into her back. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Are you with her? Oh God, I don't want to be with Hector. We're fighting. I think I would have gone behind Elaniel intentionally because we're frosty right now. But if Elenial doesn't let me on the horse. This is what I'm thinking.
Starting point is 00:02:00 Well, no, she lets you on the horse. That's just bullion. She doesn't let me on the horse. Oh, boo-hoo. Oh, my God. Right. I suppose I should fill you in on what we've been up to. Yeah, it's just, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:15 It's just fully staffed, is all. Yeah. This children. Right. We're not going to kill kids, Hector. Have you ever seen me kill a child? No. Maybe a puppet.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Okay, yeah, I mean, sure. You weren't in... Right. Like, you gaslighting me? What kids have I killed? Do you really want to kill how whale? Yeah, because they're fucking whale. Oh, you're still hacked that from so long ago.
Starting point is 00:02:52 I'm a changed pip. I let it wash over me. Yeah, no, I just, yeah, there's just this, um... Yeah, it's not what I expected. There's families there. Right. Everyone says he's a monster. And he is.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Yeah. Monsters can, you know, often, I would say, monsters get what they want by being beguiling, by presenting something nice and comfortable, you know. Yeah, he wants many ways to manipulate. I mean, say what you already has, but apparently he wants out. Who doesn't?
Starting point is 00:03:28 So while we've been apart, and then I'd go into everything we've done, is there anything I omit? I'm trying to think. Probably not. I mean, probably some stuff I gloss over. Like, some stuff I'm just like, we defeated the king of the druids. Yeah. You know, we met a unicorn. Go over all that. I say, yeah, that was the in the trees. Yeah, thestreel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bester, who knew it was a horse. I go over like, yeah, yes, we went back to Valachi and they really want me to be their
Starting point is 00:04:07 Burjur master, but I'm not particularly interested, that I have to, that I've been given the quite onerous task of rehoming the, the dust elves, and maybe I say as much that I intend to take them to the Ironwood Forest, you know, which is where you grew up, so. But also, I mean, the Ironwood Forest, yeah, it is a good, I mean, yeah, it's a good place. Good a place as any. Protected. I mean, it's still quite down south, which is, who knows what that you like. I mean, we did the math on it. There was no other safe place.
Starting point is 00:04:37 You've got to pick somewhere. I agree. It is a good place for them. Yeah. I think they'll be happy. You sense them before you see them. Druids emerge from the forest. There's maybe a hundred of them, you're not sure.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Quite a few. And they are accompanied by twig blights, needle blights. larger, all different types of moving evil horrid trees. And then... I thought that once she took over, she'd make them more aesthetically appealing. No, I just thought that maybe she wouldn't go with the evil trees, maybe with the good at trees.
Starting point is 00:05:14 You know what I mean? I don't know. I don't think there's good at evil trees, actor. I think there's just trees. No, no, I'm wrong, actually. Yeah, these are inherently evil trees. Yeah, but these are barotines. Yeah, but these are Barovian trees. We are in Borovia, actor.
Starting point is 00:05:29 Don't forget that. Speaking of, though, in addition to the evil trees, there are two good trees. Whoa. Trients. What did I say? You also step forth out of the forest. You maybe recognize... See, good trees.
Starting point is 00:05:47 That's what I'm saying. That's what I mean, though. You recognize the lead one as one of the giant oaks. that bore you down from the Gacchus Mountains while you were fighting the tree blade. Oh, right. That's, um, uh, yeah. Huh.
Starting point is 00:06:02 They are carrying between them a litter, a throne of sorts. And sitting on the throne is this, well, it's, no, I suppose it is a throne, I guess. But it's not a throne designed for a person to sit. Instead, sitting upon, lying upon the throne, you see a Barovian cornucopia. Whoa. Yuck. You can hear the, f, v. of the many meat bees,
Starting point is 00:06:29 and there's berries and vegetables and fruits, but all of them of a Barovian nature. Yeah. Underneath, you see the engineer with, well, you see what's left of the engineer. One of his arms is whole and intact, apart from the, both of his hands were already mechanical. That mechanical hand is still, as it was.
Starting point is 00:06:51 One arm is fine, but then his other arm has, is the, the what do you call it? Sleeve, thank you. You're welcome. Anytime. The sleeve of his other arm has been stitched up and pinned up
Starting point is 00:07:05 and you can see that arm on the mech is hanging a little loose as well. You can see this is a pretty recent injury. Like it's still weeping a little bit of blood. Gross. Sitting on that dead arm of the mech is Cavendish. The mech, by the way, all three of them,
Starting point is 00:07:23 the engineer, Cavendish and the me. They look like they've been through the ringer. It looks like someone put them in a giant washing machine with a shit ton of pennies and set it on max spin. God damn. They're kind of ruined. All three of them are pretty fucked up. Then, as they see you and Cavendish gives you a bloodied smile, like you see one of his teeth is missing and he gives you a little wave. Behind them is Gorub, Lushin, and Tarpos, who are also a bit bruised.
Starting point is 00:07:55 battered. Well, Tarpos looks mostly unharmed, but Tarpos is still a little bit wounded. Gorob and Lushin look pretty wrecked as well. They come up. Gora bin Lushin call out, We saved him! We saved the little frogman! But at what cost? I have a sigh of relief, and then eyes go really wide. What do I know about what happened with Cribbitt? Because I was... Rippet checked out. As pop, you remember this.
Starting point is 00:08:32 Yeah. Cribut was lying, prone on the ground, very probably dead. Suddenly someone who probably was Hector was there, and then they were both gone. Okay. Well, as I see, as they mentioned the little one, my head and eyes glanced Hector, like, kind of another, like, what did you do? I just, I had, he was dead. I gave him to the only person I knew that could save him. Tapos and Gorobluschen step aside and standing behind them,
Starting point is 00:09:02 stepping forward, wearing very tight, because he is no longer small-sized, very tight cribbit's clothes. You see, heck though. It is, as you knew him before, a full-blooded azimar. Hector. What the fuck did you do? Hector. Pipp.
Starting point is 00:09:27 I return. Does he seem happy to be alive again? He walks over to you. He's not wearing shoes because his little... Is he cribbit sized? No, he's Hector. He looks exactly like Hector, but he's wearing Cribbitt's clothes. I guess it's like what I use is like, I guess looking into a cruel mirror.
Starting point is 00:09:50 You've got to stop messing around with stuff. like this hectare. If I didn't, he'd be dead, what would you do to save the ones you love? Yeah, I, yeah, I don't know. This, this is sort of beyond the pale, but are you okay there? I am doing well, yes, this one is still cribbit. Okay, well, that's good. How do you feel about your new form?
Starting point is 00:10:12 He's fine. This one can make wings now. Pretty cool. Oh, you can... Eggs taste weird now. Yeah, you should cook them, but you can fly. Yes. Yeah, I miss that.
Starting point is 00:10:28 But Kribit already did that today. Yeah, it's, um... Cavendish, who is now climbing down off the mech, he explains, and you could see he has, there's like an excitement, like a child's excitement about him. This is quite clearly something, I mean, it's fantastical for you. Yeah. But for Cavendish, this is something... Who's come from a mechanized view of.
Starting point is 00:10:51 This is something extra. He, Cavendish, who the very idea of a druid is kind of a novelty to him, he says, yes. So, the way it was explained to me, and he says this topos is standing right there, but he's so excited he explains it. Because it was your soul, the reincarnation spell brought him back as an Asimar. The appearance is probably not random either, Tarpos said. And it's very fascinating to watch He does the wing thing you do But he keeps doing it
Starting point is 00:11:27 I love to make the wings Now I am the one above I can eat below me now Used to be this one Had to eat only what lived underground But now I can eat things that live on ground It's like a very like a, like a very sad smile. It's a very straight, like, yeah, it is an experience.
Starting point is 00:11:54 And some birds. Bird is weird. He didn't pick the feathers out. You're just. You need to. He didn't pick the feathers. Tongue. Strange.
Starting point is 00:12:08 It is. You need to. La. It doesn't do thing. No, you need to. You really should cook this. You need to cook things. No.
Starting point is 00:12:16 Sometimes you've. vomit. Yeah. It is... If no good, stomach, tell. Good to see that you're alive. I guess I keep giving pieces of myself. If I die, don't bring me back.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Do not resuscitate. So I would say, due to just the size of your party, you, Hector would note... I don't know, actually. I can't remember if we have decided if Hector has been in, like, an army before.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Or any, like, large... procession of people. You've definitely talked about going on like expeditions, I would say. But I don't know, like, I would say, probably. Yeah, I reckon, again, he's very inexperienced, very young. I would argue, like, you know, he's done the whole Squire thing and maybe like 15, like probably maybe a little bit bigger than what the shot companions were. But like if they're a pallet in training, those kind of things, oh, there's this ogle we got to deal with,
Starting point is 00:13:13 you know, some kind of stuff, like, sure. But I think it would be small scale, right? With, there's not like a terribly lot of druids following Tarpos, but there are enough that both of you, and I think Pip, if you have any military experience, it would be in much smaller. Oh, yeah, I think I've like, I've been around armies, but I don't think, you know, you would call it like,
Starting point is 00:13:36 like before, I guess the, what happened a few years, a year ago, so we say. Because you were just like, the sharp shot, I imagine it would be like a company or an army would be like, we need a specialized force. Absolutely. And so, like, you're a very small unit as part of this larger. Absolutely. Sharp-shot companions typically get used as skirmishers if they are part of a larger arm.
Starting point is 00:13:55 A hundred percent. Smaller skirmishing units. Anyway, neither of you, I guess, then, have much experience with this. But the laboriousness of so many people needing to stop, make camp, start again and move means that you lose basically a day to just preparations and the druids setting up a camp to then take it down that night. And imagine kind of this almost eye-opening of like, because like you've probably heard the expression before
Starting point is 00:14:25 about how like a camp marches on its stomach. Yeah, yeah. And just like, you know, you have that as a, you know, oh, in the back of my mind. I believe, probably, elf-polians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, but seeing it, because it gets like, he's like, oh, you know, again, big game.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Like, you know, big picture situation here. It's like, well, we need to probably mount some, level of an assault if we ever make it back to like home and be like if there's an army we got to feed them and just like I think probably spending a lot of the time noticing that and maybe just kind of like taking a mental note and seeing I guess how Tarpos reacts to it how Pip reacts to it how well I guess because I've again like
Starting point is 00:15:10 as part of the Sharp Sheptsch companions we've been in skirmishes before and like kind of pop up of an army, but not part of an army. I feel like I just fall into that pattern. You know, like the like setting up camp and stuff like that's all pretty... Not rote, but I'm like, oh yeah. Yeah, maybe seeing how Cavendish reacts to... Because he's like military.
Starting point is 00:15:31 And from my perspective, future military, although... He is... He's got a little glimpse of what he's done. He is Tom Clancy's future soldier. I see how he is, I guess, reacting with it all. Well, looking around the camp, you could see, first off, maybe the weight of a proper military campaign feels a little heavier when it occurs to you as you're watching the druids,
Starting point is 00:16:03 set up camp and prepare themselves to stay the night. You can see the druids obviously have a much easier time living off the land than a traditional army would. You watch as maybe in horror, I don't know how you feel about this, as using their connection to the nature, a druid lowers a deer close. Your reaction. Oh, no. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:29 And then, because my mind went certain places. Let's see what happens. And then slits the deer's throat. Yeah. So that the camp can eat. Oh, okay. That's not what I thought was going to happen. I thought like, and like they enticed the deer to come over and using some sort of druidic magic.
Starting point is 00:16:49 They just basically make a like a hovel. No, like a house. Like using the rib cages and just making this weird, awesome look intense. I'm like, fuck. That would be cool. Man, I wish I'd thought of that. No, they just slaughter it for food. Okay, that's good.
Starting point is 00:17:10 That's fine. That's, yeah. With the number of druids you have, it probably happens a few times with a couple different animals. But yeah, they move trees using wood shape spells. They divert water from like maybe a nearby little stream so that there's a like a stream now runs kind of through the camp almost. I hate to ask this.
Starting point is 00:17:31 How does that make me feel? Oh, good question. It's hard to describe, I suppose. Are you connecting to that? I don't want to deliberately, but I'm guessing, like, if it's in, like, that kind of, like, it's a little bit ambient at the moment of the moment. It's kind of, like, innate or the moment in time to kind of, like, have that weird connection. It's a very distant sensation for you. If you're not, like, actively tapping into it, you're not, you're not enough of the land yet, yeah, yeah, to innately feel these things. So it's a, it's a distant sensation, but it feels a little bit like your flesh is shifting, but not in an uncomfortable way.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Okay. Okay. I guess I'm starting to maybe understand Tarpos a little more about the whole, you know, it's the land. It's the land. It doesn't matter really who's in charge. This is this, this, this is that, et cetera, et cetera. So I'm kind of, I guess, all right. Yeah, yeah. Getting a feel for that. All right. And then to beyond that, Arnold, ignore me. I forget I said that. The engineer. The engineer, you watch as his me, goes around. helping where it can. The engineer himself sits in near the center of camp. There's a big bonfire there that's been prepared. And near that bonfire, maybe using the heat from it to assist in his preparations, you can see that he is making himself what is clearly a new hand. One of his hands, as I mentioned before, has been, well, his arm has been torn away. And he is constructing.
Starting point is 00:19:06 You can see it looks similar to, because he was missing both hands when you first met. him. It looks like he's constructing a second hand, but this one would basically be an entire arm instead. Okay. You could hear like a tiny, he uses a small hammer, like a jeweler's hammer almost, and you hear just as he slowly works. Elaniel and Iona are sitting not too far away from the engineer. You can see they're just sharing a quiet moment together. Iona is maybe kind of You can see she's dozing off a little bit And she's leaning against the lanial as she dozes
Starting point is 00:19:43 Okay Fastriel Not here Yeah, fair enough What about And Criott is with us And Cribbitt is with us but as me Well, yes, yeah
Starting point is 00:19:53 I think I'm just What little army training I have Is probably like, you know I'm remembering it or whatever At least remembering Working with the SharpShop Compagnon So I'm doing my best I think With Tiny I guess Shadow
Starting point is 00:20:07 to just like get people digging latrines, to get people setting up tents, to making sure that, like, you know, people have their equipment in order, that kind of thing. You see that the druids appear to kind of have this down pat a little bit. And from both of you watching John Cavendish walking around, you get the distinct impression, he's kind of already been drilling these troops a little bit. Okay. You watch Tarpos wonders around also in a leadership capacity. not in a military one, maybe more as like a spiritual leadership capacity, going around and speaking to the different druids. And you can see she has some sort of relate, each druid she knows personally. And she seems to have some sort of a relationship with them. And in the same way the tiny shadows you, Pip, Goroblush and shadow her. You can see in their tan bark armor they follow behind. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:21:01 Cribut is probably in his tent. He seems shy. Oh, okay. That's cute. I guess at a certain point, I was like, there's a few things I'd like to do, but I guess whatever would be going to crib it if he is in his tent, just to kind of checking in on him and maybe just, I guess, one, I guess, the selfish reason of like a forloin, like forloin,
Starting point is 00:21:27 forlorn, yeah. Reason of like, looking at, I guess, this weird carnival mirror of what was, as well as, I guess, the non-self. thing of being like, how is he adapting to being an Asimar, and also wondering, like, if he's hearing any gods. Yeah. Because that's an aspect of the problems of Asimah sometimes is the screaming in the head. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:52 You open the flap to Krivitz tent and catch him looking at his own reflection in a mirror, prodding at what was once your features. God. Uh, uh, uh, cribbyt. Hello. Uh, how are you doing? I just came to check on you. Oh.
Starting point is 00:22:09 How you're dealing with, um, your new body. This is a setback. But not a terrible one. Um, cribbit maybe now, uh, this one can enter towns and people will not be like, monster straight away. Right. I, I think to a few towns. Um, and I keep my mouth shut.
Starting point is 00:22:32 Yes, yes They will Depends who you are They will go with you for a different reason Kribert like being a bit bigger now Now ones who eat Krippet must be bigger And Krivet can eat more ones Yes, as if I've said before
Starting point is 00:22:50 Just make sure you cook it I don't think you have said this before Definitely have Just right Yes I don't think we have the same Stomic as you're used to.
Starting point is 00:23:03 No. Disagree. Yeah. Egg just as good. Yes. It's just you're eating the shell in all. Why? Shell is where all protein is. Why waste egg?
Starting point is 00:23:17 Fair enough. That is definitely not where the protein is. He doesn't know. He doesn't. Is that a nutritionist? Yeah. Neither am I. Yeah, he could be right. Maybe. All right.
Starting point is 00:23:30 Shell keeps yoke safe. Shell keeps crudibutts safe. That's more true. Yes. I guess I take him through some of the innate abilities, I guess, of an azimia. You see, he has no ability to do those. You have a connection to the divine of any kind? No.
Starting point is 00:23:52 Oh, okay. He can't do any of the spells that you do. But you can do the wings? Yes. This one like to fly. But you can't do the... Right. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Can you heal? Any little bit of... He looks over at a egg that you see... Well, the shell of an egg that you see here. Somehow you could just imagine crack and then yoke straight into open mouth. He puts his hands out as if he's trying to heal the egg. Nothing happens.
Starting point is 00:24:24 Right. Interesting. But you have the wings. If you have any Any problems adapting I'm sure I can help you if you need it What? Cribut
Starting point is 00:24:37 In the way I am right now scratches his chin What What do you think Is fun to do In this body Well what did you do for fun in your old body. Kribbitt liked to
Starting point is 00:24:59 throw tongue out that thing let tongue stick get stretched tongue, then tongue come back. Right. Well, I can't do that now. No. Yes, no, we cannot do that. I guess if you like the... Kribbid like
Starting point is 00:25:15 to be upside down sometimes holding onto ceiling. Can't do that now. No, you... Flying fun. Anything else? I guess, I mean, you can climb, but you can't stick to things. things. I guess it's very similar to... Oh, Wing Limited.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Kribut thought he'd just not know how. No, it is a brief moment. So don't... So do not fly too high. I also learned that problem. Just like tale of a person who flew too close to sun. Yes. Astronauts.
Starting point is 00:25:47 Yes. I knew that I'd get you. I was going to say Alpharchus, but I've not heard of astronauts before. Right. What do you do for fun? Well, I guess I'm trying to think of the frog body. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:03 I guess, you know, like physical activity, like stretching, doing kind of calisthenics is something that... Privet writes down the word calisthenics. I'm like, I don't know if we did it for fun. It was just a thing we had to do that kept the body limber and strong. Cribut feels like this one must now be more active in story. Right, yes. Did you feel desire to be a protagonist? No, no, not at all.
Starting point is 00:26:39 Oh, come with body, natural. I guess so. I don't really have a desire to be a protagonist. No, I am not entirely sure what you mean. Did you, this one confused. Did that one forget or lose protagonist's desire when nobody? Or did that one never have protagonist's desire? What is it?
Starting point is 00:27:08 What do you mean when you say protagonist desire? I think this is. Well, this one, he says gesturing to you, this one is faithful, important. When he says faithful, you don't think he means like destiny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To be honest, Cribbutt, I've never had that before. I thought I may be with... You tell this one, this and he gestures all around you.
Starting point is 00:27:34 Coincidence? Maybe. I mean, if it wasn't for me, I'm sure somebody else would have done it. This one, he says pointing at you, walking on street. Yes. Regular day. This one busy. Must go to work in, I don't know, what boring job.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Baker. This one must go to bakery. Yeah, okay. On street, little boy you pass, sitting in street corner. He cry, big tears, boo-hoo. What you do? You're late. Is he by himself?
Starting point is 00:28:07 He by himself. I guess I will go over and see if his guardian is nearby or if he's using. This is protagonist behavior. I think this is just a good person behavior. That's where we differ. that's where these ones differ So you would go to bakery This one would write down that one's story
Starting point is 00:28:29 Right But this one's storyteller But now maybe me thinking This one must be protagonist like you So you want to help Not saying that I perhaps it is maybe innate I do not know
Starting point is 00:28:44 I honestly didn't Didn't give it much thought To be honest Just innate part Of that one's nature says, as if kind of answering his own question. I guess by your definition, Kribert, yes. I suppose so.
Starting point is 00:29:00 Well, this one still wants to write story. So maybe this one stay right story. I think that is for the best. I agree. I think that is for the best. There's part of me that could easily, I could tell him some things that I've experienced, but I don't want to because then I'm just going to be here.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talking to Krivet, dude, it's like talking to anybody in this party. It's annoying. But it's in a cute way Yeah, oh he's adorable No one's denying that Much of joy this
Starting point is 00:29:29 That Gorb would last It any day of the week Or tapos Or tapos Tarpos is annoying too That's very, very true Self-paren Yeah
Starting point is 00:29:36 They're all pretty up much up there Yeah Well if you have any A truly forced family Yes Yes Well I'll let you get on with it
Starting point is 00:29:47 Good luck I say these words As they're falling out of my mouth Good luck exploring your body. He nods, not picking up on that. Didn't mean it in a. This one will continue to explore body. He says, turning back to the mirror, he begins to prod his features again.
Starting point is 00:30:08 As I leave, I'm like, I probably got a muttering of like, yes, when he discovers his penis. Oh, boy. You leave, Cribut, not discovering his penis, but trying to pull at his tongue to see how long it can get. Similar action Right Okay Are we stopped down for the night? Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:30:29 You're betting down for the night Okay, cool I guess At a certain point I'd like to Yeah, chat to The Engineer And
Starting point is 00:30:38 I guess hopefully the Engineer and Cavendish As one Sure By the time By the time you get over To the Engineer After this
Starting point is 00:30:47 I would say Cavendish is probably done With setting up the camp And Pip, same with you. I think I'm just hanging out with, I think I'm rudely using Tiny as like a sounding board. Like talking to him, but really only talking to hear myself talk, if you know what I mean? Tiny, if you have stopped moving, Tiny sits cross-like. Maybe he found like a smaller campfire amongst them and I've sat down to like warm myself.
Starting point is 00:31:13 And I think I'm just talking about what happened to Cribut. I think I'm just being like, I don't know if it's because he's an A's mirror or I don't know if it's because he's corrupted in some way, but I mean, I, and I'm not saying, Tiny, that I would have let Cribbitt die, of course not, but to transform him like that. And then on some level, it's narcissistic. Let's be honest. You know, on some level, you know, I imagine, and he would never admit this, but like, Hector's got to be loving this in some, some small strange way. You know, you know, sort of, I mean, you know, it's not as though there's enough of him around or he's not important. And also, you know, I mean, what does this mean for the sort of like the cards? You know, is Kribert his own man or is he some kind of extension of Hector now?
Starting point is 00:32:01 I mean, I don't know. And I think that's just the kind of thing I'm going over chatting to Tiny about his little cold insect eyes, you know? Yeah, he stares. He has eyes for no one but you with his, yeah, a black shell-like eyes. He stares at you and you see nothing but your own reflection within one way. One way or a... Talk about narcissists, really, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:23 As the night progresses, Pip, you notice, is making like a low humming noise. You get the impression, sorry. You believe his, like, wings are just very quickly and in very short measure vibrating. Do you need to go somewhere? Is that what that means? Or are you sleepy? I don't know. Bugman.
Starting point is 00:32:47 I don't know though. Is everything okay? You can, it's hard to, you obviously can't say anything, but there's nothing? No response. Well, whatever.
Starting point is 00:32:57 It's got nothing to do with me then, I suppose. Vibrate away. If it weren't for that buzzing noise, you could easily assume tiny to be made, to be an obsidian statue. Maybe they just need to stretch.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Maybe that's what it is. They get old cramped up inside your back and you need to let them out and vibrate. I mean, fair enough. I do a big yawn. I need to stretch. So I get it, yeah. Could be keeping warm.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Yeah, I mean, sure. At one point, one of the druids comes past with a little wooden tray and food for you. Thank you very much. I like take some and start eating it. Then I like just, the druid awkwardly leaves one, kind of looking up at Tiny, like expecting Tiny to have a response and then leaves a little tray in front of Tiny. I don't know what he eat. I don't know what you eat, Tiny. I mean, have I seen you eat? Have I?
Starting point is 00:33:48 I don't think you have. No. Well, what does a bug eat? Other bugs? Other bugs? But then I suppose I'm sort of like a dragon born, you know, and I'm not eating gold or whatever. You, the druid wanders away, and you have, you have like a, is connipion the right word? When Tiny suddenly, it's not actually a huge, it's because Tiny has been, Tiny has been so still for so long, that all Tiny does is turn its body to the West.
Starting point is 00:34:17 and you nearly die. Oh my God. Is something wrong? Tiny stands up completely and takes, not leaving the camp, just takes a couple steps to the west. I'll get up as well, I guess, put my plate down and go stand and, like, look in the direction he's looking. Try to see if I can make anything out. It's a strange but very familiar noise.
Starting point is 00:34:39 You hear like a rolling noise of rain hitting leaf, and you realize a rain cloud is about to engulf the camp. Ah, okay. Well, I guess I'll start trying to round up everybody and get everybody in their tents and get everything that will be damaged by the rain inside. Storm coming! I say, there's a storm coming. Round up all of your, you know, everything you want to keep dry. Get it in a tent.
Starting point is 00:35:04 And I'd say the same for everybody else. Get it in a tent. And let's put more logs on the main fires so that it can stay nice and lit. All right. People, you know, the camp, it's not like a flurry of activity. a rain cloud is not a huge deal. And in Borovia, it was kind of a little expected. So the rain cloud hits.
Starting point is 00:35:22 You see Tiny has not moved at all. But when the rain cloud washes over the camp, Tiny does lean a little bit back and you see rain cascading down. It's huge carapace. I guess is it drinking? Cooling down? I just will never know
Starting point is 00:35:46 Unless I learned to speak bug, I guess I'm like yelling over the rain to tiny I'm going to bed tiny I'm gonna get in my tent now to the rain Carry on And then I'll go find somewhere dry Meanwhile, Hector You find by the bonfire
Starting point is 00:36:05 The Engineer and Cavendish This is a few moments before the rain cloud hits Ah right I see you've lost your Oh, I adjust it to the engineer. He grunts. Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. So you've had experiences with Boucher, yes?
Starting point is 00:36:26 His hand flips around from the little hammer that he was using to, I don't know if you remember this, but the hand that he still has is mechanical and can change between a bunch of different things. It's like a no-mami knife, sorry. No-mami knife, yeah. It changes to a little power drill, and you hear,
Starting point is 00:36:43 V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V-V. Ooh, it tickles my lips to do that. The engineer is saying this. I'm just trying to give you a clean one. Forget it. I can't do it. Sorry, what did you ask? Yeah, you're very familiar with Bortcher.
Starting point is 00:37:06 Yes? Mm-hmm. Is there anything... It switches around to something that I don't need to do a lot of noise. That's like a wrench now. Did she put the... I described that the heart device that was on me, like,
Starting point is 00:37:20 did she do that to you as well? Nope. Do you, if I describe it... Is his, like, coldness? Is that just him being him, or is he a little bit shitty? Yeah, that's what I want to know too. Yeah. That's a good question.
Starting point is 00:37:34 I'm intrigued. You do pretty well on this check. So, you dimly remember the first time you ever met him, he while a fight, while a full combat encounter took place, he was continuing to work on his little project at like a desk while you were fighting. You get the distinct impression that when he's working, he's like locked in right now.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Gotcha. Gotcha, gotcha. Right. I turned to Cavendish. Cavendish you see is smiling and he says, he gets a bit like that. I like it. I appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:38:12 it's in a traveling companion. Yes, I can imagine. Can imagine. How have you been since we last spoke? I suppose Bertel, he says. It's been a mostly quiet trip here, not a lot of resistance. Well, that is good. Well, I wouldn't even really call it resistance.
Starting point is 00:38:30 More just the incidental nature of Brover itself. A question to ask you. You were in the Roy Conjured, yes? Yes. What did you do before you came to Brovia? Well, as I said, I had a few jobs. I worked as a sailor, then as a, well, a pirate, I suppose. I've been a farmer.
Starting point is 00:38:53 You left the Roy Conjubljian to become a... No, I didn't leave the Roy Conjubljord to become a sailor. No, I left it to become... I was briefly an accountant. Right. It wasn't terribly good at it. So you joined the Roy Conjkehger, then left to become an accountant? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:11 And from there you end up as a parrot? No. A few jobs in between accountant piracy. I was worked very briefly, I would say maybe literally a few months as an accountant. Then I became a farmer for a little bit, quiet life. And some issues with family forced me, forced my hand. I couldn't, I didn't want to live in any major cities. Why is that?
Starting point is 00:39:43 My family are big. My father was of his day. He would, I don't know if this is a term you would use, but he was a titan of industry. I kind of shake my head, but like, you're like a titan of industry. It's probably like a Monsu, Ford. Yeah, yeah. But then I guess I'm like, again, the experiences that I've experienced, like, Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:06 The being oil for 100 years, I like to think that I don't remember everything. No, I would say absolutely not. Like there's glimmers, there's glimpses, there's bits and pieces, it's like broken imagery. But I'm like kind of grasped that as a concept. No, I don't think I would use the term, but I understand it. It is like when things are moving along. Yeah. Yes, you owned a very big company.
Starting point is 00:40:36 Right, right, right, like the electric company. Yes, not as big as the electric company, but certainly someone you wouldn't want to compete with, or just frankly, couldn't. Right, right. Anyway, yes. So I had a, I guess you'd say, falling out with my father and with my family at large. They felt dishonored by me. Right, why, why is it? You've done by me asking.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Well, because of the first. career change. The Roy Kondgarde is a very prestigious position within the military. And to give it up for an account, well, yes, it's not. Why did you give it up? He said you would
Starting point is 00:41:17 because again, look at his age, where he is now, he still wears the uniform from time to time. Going from being part of this military unit to be in account for a few months to then going on being a sailor and then a pirate. How many and then here in Borovia, That's like a lot of, like, it's hard to, I guess, gauge,
Starting point is 00:41:37 but I'm like, how many years am I imagining is going from Roy Kongegir to, I guess, not all the time in Boreauvia, but being in Boreovia? I guess, I'm just a question to ask. The shirt, which is the only thing that he, oh, well, no, sorry, he does have his full uniform, you're correct. But the uniform, you get this. I'm very good at uniforms. That's canon.
Starting point is 00:42:03 Okay. I'll give you advantage. The shirt, which is how you identified him in the first place, you can see that while it is well cared for, the shirt has been something he is consistently worn. His full uniform is probably not something he wore since he was in the Roy Conjure. You can see it's still like...
Starting point is 00:42:24 But he kept it all that time. And I guess the glimpse is the imagery that I got of him in Kabosh, is that a very, very, like a much younger... younger cabin dish? Yeah, he would have been in, he would have been a teenager at the time. Oh, no, a bit older, sorry, early 20s, early 20s. Okay, and he's currently like 50s, 60s?
Starting point is 00:42:43 Okay, so it's like a few decades past. Yeah. Yeah, okay, okay, okay. Just wondering like how recent was that. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, okay, okay, so yeah, okay. I asked the question, like, yeah, why was the career change?
Starting point is 00:42:54 Yes, he, he seems sheepish in the answer. And then that, at that point, you hear Pip yelling across the camp rain, there's a storm coming or at least rain. Everybody pack up, let's try and keep things dry. Hector,
Starting point is 00:43:13 Cavendish, as soon as you hear Pip calling out, Cavendish is also a flurry of activity and you lose him as he is helping people set up for the rain squall that is coming. I don't know if squall is the correct term. I don't know if it's a squall if it's on land. Could be.
Starting point is 00:43:29 What's a squall? Squall, I believe, is like a kind of rainstorm at sea where the waves going to get high. But that's based on pretty much nothing. Let's keep it to rainstorm. You lose him in the commotion that is setting up for the rainstorm. As slight as it is, you lose
Starting point is 00:43:47 him nonetheless. Fair enough. And by the time the rain has hit, the engineer, you see he is thrown like a little leather cloth over his work and he turns around and he says to you, I made it. Oh, you made the device, right, sorry. Oh, right, right.
Starting point is 00:44:06 I designed it. I made it. It's just to be like staring off with the rain. It's not feeling the cold to be like, my own little mind somewhere else. You're like, I made it. What? Yeah, I saw you working on it. Oh.
Starting point is 00:44:22 Oh. Oh. If you have any remaining pieces from it inside your chest, I can remove them. I don't know. let us get out of the can we go yeah let's just get out of the rain or the up he turns to his little mech which
Starting point is 00:44:40 takes two steps over towards you reaches out one of its arms and it sometimes uses a shield that shield chunk tut tut tut tut tut tut kind of like a I don't know how you would describe
Starting point is 00:44:54 this kind of like one of Captain America's shields in a later MCU movie where it like expands out yeah yeah yeah from like nothing Yeah, I was like when a sci-fi door dilates kind of stuff. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:45:08 It does the little anus dilation, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The shield unfolds itself and acts as a little umbrella shielding the two of you. It's very impressive. It's really a simple mechanical mechanism. No magic required for this.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Right. I unbuttoned or like I take like, you know, Like, you can examine me, sure. I don't know exactly what remains, to be honest. You, it's a strange sensation. He, the engineer, without any anesthetic or anything, he opens you up. You don't know if the engineer knows your condition and knows you won't feel this pain, or if he just didn't care. Either way, the effect is the same.
Starting point is 00:45:59 He opens you up. You get the sense. You can still feel like hot, cold, pressure, those things, as the engineer begins working on you. But you don't feel pain. It may be a very strange sensation. You can hear tinkering noises as the engineer slowly removes pieces of metal from within you. I guess it was taken out in a pretty slapdash, haphazard way. As he's, I get, oh no, because he's concentrating.
Starting point is 00:46:24 So I'll save any chit-chat questions after he's done, to be honest. At a certain point, the engineer gestures at his mech and a, like with his arm, but with his hand, but much larger. Like mech sized, a little arm stretches out from the center part and he starts indicating with the stump of his right arm. He starts indicating with it so that it does jobs for him as well. Okay, okay, okay. At a certain point, he retracts that, and then to finish everything up and to reclose the hole, you see a second arm comes out. This one is holding that. I think you've seen this already.
Starting point is 00:47:11 It's holding what is a wizard's head. Yeah. A bellows powers through the wizard's lips, and you hear the spell false life being cast. Okay. Except instead of temporary hit points, it just reseals the hole that the engineer made. All done. Thank you very much for that. You see, the engineer looks at, in like a, you know, that kidney-shaped metal tray that people will put, like, doctors when they're taking stuff out of you.
Starting point is 00:47:45 He looks at one of those, which is full of metal shards, metal and wood maybe as well, shards. He looks at that and gives a little wry smile, the most emotion you've ever seen him, What cowboy did this? Uh, hip's sister. Now that, he says, handing the little metal tray to his mech, which puts it somewhere away inside it. Now that is the scariest thing I've ever heard.
Starting point is 00:48:12 Music

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