D&D is For Nerds - Buried Beneath #10 Just for the Knowledge

Episode Date: April 22, 2017

In which our heroes sleep for exactly eight hours. Shane wishes badly that he’d brought arogue, Anton attempts to set some traps and Squim has like good vision or something.Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeJackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadShanks: twitter.com/timtimfedZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio, keeping it on as water weight. Hey everyone, a few announcements to get through before we get into today's episode. First off is that our sister show, Plumbing the Death Stars, performing at the Sydney Comedy Fest on May 6th and 7th, and then heading up to Brisbane a few weeks later on Friday the 26th. Just head to sandspantsradio.com slash live to purchase your tickets. Also, we've launched our new membership service, Sans Pants Plus. It's very similar to Patreon.

In fact, you can use your Patreon login on the site if you'd like. But to reflect the new service, we've made some changes to the reward structure. And while the $5 tier remains mostly unchanged, for $10 a month, you'll be getting a heap of bonus content in the future. The first is titled The Plumbing Boys Play Slash Ruin Sunless Citadel, as well as suggest a topic for any of the shows in the Sandspants Network. And for $25 a month, you get to suggest an NPC for Adam to use in future campaigns and a D&Ds for Nerds season pass,

which means as soon as we have a campaign ready, you'll be the first ones to hear it in its entirety. Just head to SantsPantsPlus.com and sign up today. Welcome to episode 10 of Buried Beneath, a D&D is for Nerds adventure. I'm Joel Zammett, and I'll be playing the part of Shane Noll. I'm Michael Shanks, I'll be playing the part of Squim Norton. I'm Jackson Bailey, and I'll be playing the part of Anton de Saussure. And I'm Adam, your dungeon

master. Previously I'm doing my best to aim properly A beam of pure magical vampiric energy soars perilously close to your head Oh my god. Strikes the creature dead center in its

chest. So it's like cutting somebody with a sword that then becomes a shotgun and you shoot that sword into them. It looks like magic either does extra damage or somehow it's just affecting it more maybe. Cheers Lil! Why are we calling it Lil? That's a good name. There's many different Ion Stones. Oh really? I hope this one was like

plus constitution. That'd be nice. And I'll take it because I need the help. And say Salah Litherona! You can say that, It doesn't help. In the chapel is a long, disused figure of some sort of god, perhaps, with its arms outstretched. Some sort of prayer of protection of an area, possibly this area. And binding.

You're not sure binding what, though. What's your rooster's armor class? My rooster's armor class? Oh, no. Anton, your rooster is lying on the cold and sandy floor, dying. I'd like to rush over to my rooster. I'd like to try and heal. Help stabilize his rooster.

Everybody gets around. Romeo, do not die on me. You're like out of like, because you're bonded with the rooster. I'm like, he'll become so much weaker if it dies. The rooster bleeds out a little bit. Negative four. Oh, no. Now, Anton, I'll allow you the first heal check.

Do I have a health potion? I'll feed it to my rooster. You fail to heal your rooster? No. Shane? Do I have a health potion? I do. The potion of Cure Light Wounds.

Are you going to waste this on a rooster? I've used both my moderates already on this, so you're better. Wait, the rooster has four hit points. Oh, I don't have any. I'll just try to stabilize it. You failed to stabilize the rooster. My rooster's going to die. Please.

Negative five. I don't have any healing things. No, you can attempt to stabilize, so just like hold, staunch the blood non-magically. Or should I probably more in character do that to Lilip? It is an excuse to touch her. Probably. She doesn't need it, but you can do that.

Like, you touch her chest to, like, figure it out, but then just stroke her hair. Yeah, I do exactly that. And I say, it's okay. You do a very poor job of doing any medical attention to Lilith. Accidentally get a finger in the wound. She's kind of not noticing, but she's worrying about, too much about her

own wounds. She knows that you're helping. Oh, but she's not like us. Hey, that's enough. She's not like, he's just trying to cop a feel. Can I once again try and stabilize my rooster? Come back to me. No. Come back to me, Romeo. No. Negative six.

Fucking hell. I didn't want to go down 11. Negative what is death? Negative 10? Negative 10. Lilip heals herself. Lilip, heal my rooster. Please.

He recovers. Otherwise, we'll hit a point where it is actually better for me to be dead. Why do I not have healing spells? Are you still worrying about Lilith? No, now I try to stabilize the chook Everyone gather around this rooster No Negative whatever it is There's gonna be something we can do

All three of you are crowded around a rooster Trying to prevent it from dying I'm looking at health potion No no no Lilith heals your rooster Oh thank you thank you I wanna go over to Lilith And just embrace her

When you embrace her she does like And so do I. For an entirely different pain, you do that. And then I'd like to go over and pick up Romeo. You dang fool. I'm kind of out of healing, she says. That's alright.

I've exhausted my magic. Forever. No. For today. We could nap somewhere Out of the impaled Yeah, yeah The spears retracted after they set It looks like you can set them off again accidentally If you're not careful

Hey guys, let's not do that Good plan So do they retract? Can we see the spears? You can see the tiny little holes that they came out of It's very hard to notice But because you saw them come out, you know now. Is it possible to, like, deliberately set it off and... Spike the trap, it's referred to as. You can.

It might just be easier to not bother. There's only one... But if, like, a creature comes in, we can lead it towards it. If you guys just jump from the doorway into the room, you avoid it entirely. It might be easier to just do that. Okay, I say, but in Hebrew, Jehovah is spelled with an I, and then I jump over it.

I've always wanted to set that as a trap somehow. You just want to jump over it? I'm not going to make you do that. No, I actually just walk around it because it's safer. Actually, yeah, you can even just step aside and not walk on that all right um although considering we can see the hole in the ceiling i use my like i have like good vision or something i've got a uh low light vision can i look around on the ceiling to see any other similarly shaped holes in case there's more traps to try and inform that uh you don't see any other perforations in the hole in the ceiling so

you don't think there's any other traps? Okay. Do you want to rest? I said to Lillip. Is that what you're saying? I think before we break the next seal, we should probably take time here. Have a quick nip.

We'll have a rest. Gloom can keep observing his statue. Gloom rushes into the room. Very pleased. Yes, I would like to analyze the statue. Thank you, thank you, thank you. All right, mate. It's fine.

No depression. He moves over to the statue in the center of the room and starts deciphering it. By the way, Gloom, trap. Don't touch. I know. I'll flump down on my ass and nap. All right. Grab Romeo.

Fuck, I love D&D. Like, do you have trouble getting to sleep? No, no, no. No, no, no one ever does. Sleep forever. Sleep for exactly eight hours. Exactly eight hours.

And then, ding, eight hours, bang, standing. Every person in the world of D&D has an incredible internal law. It's like, there's no windows,

there's no source of daylight. We just know. We just know. We're just good at it. It's like there's no windows, there's no source of daylight. We just know. We just know. We're just good at it. I was like, oh, heal up to... Lilip goes from person to person checking to make sure that everyone's okay for health and such. She's the only one who's been gravely wounded

though, so everyone else after a short nap is at full hit point. Seek! Full spells. We can move everyone into that room and probably just get rid of this because you're not going back. Not after what I've done. But I've got a plan for you guys. Oh.

Dios, Dios. Did Gloom find anything interesting on the statue or did we just... Well, there's another inscription he says. Would you like me to read it aloud? Yes. Absolute. Fuck, I'm glad you said yes. Absolute. Absolute. He's like, would you like me to read that? No, I would'm glad you said yes absolutely it's like would you like to read that no i would not no i kind of spent a lot of time writing these we're good and it's a very appropriately like nice leather bound book why have you come here traveler why

did our warning not deter you this is not a place for you to live, nor will what lies beneath fulfill you in any way. In my time, we did not know if these markers were wise. Perhaps, we thought, our pleas would be heeded. Others argued your curiosity would get the better of you, as it did us. You stand in a place where you should never have come. Um, it's a gloom. Alright, let's, uh... Maybe we should just... not?

Can I come clean with you? Says Gloom. Absolutely. Of course. So, the surveyor who came through here, he, uh... He didn't work for us. He worked as a surveyor for many different people. And he sold this information to many different people.

Okay. Oh. I'm... Fuck. I am racing many other people to this find. So... So all of our naps are probably not... At any moment, we could be interrupted by other people.

Are they... How dangerous are we talking? Well, some of them are other arcane... At any moment, we could be interrupted by other people. Are they dangerous? Are we talking? Well, some of them are other arcane universities, and they might, well, they will probably just come here to study and learn about what is beneath them. That's all right, yeah. But there might be some slightly more, slightly less, you know,

moral people here for whatever lies beneath. All right. So, okay. Well, I'm glad I'm here so I can at least know what's going on to try and stop things from escaping. I didn't want to tell you at first because I was afraid you might... They can offer a lot more money than I can. You are a bad businessman.

Normally, when you are having a discussion like this? You say, oh, they cannot be anywhere near as much as I can. I am the best. Can we go back? He says. We'll just wait around for the next guys. Team up with them. No, no, no.

Anton, he looks like he's about to cry. Do not cry. Please don't. I'd like to embrace him he embraces you back I'm characteristic you can hear him like it's so important for me

you guys be like where the fuck look alright looks very like what is going on? I ask Bloom, why is this so important to him? Is it just for the knowledge? It?

It? It? It? Oh, that. It's not. It's not. It? It?

Bloom takes a moment to compose himself. Let's go with you, Anton. Okay. It's a very rare find This is the only one of these temples That we have ever discovered Alright look mate It's in my opinion that we should probably

Board this up and not come down here However If you don't Others are going to That's what I said with the first seal. Better we're down there so we can have a look. And again, if something is awry, we can try and stop it. So I'll be like, since other academics are coming and checking it out, it's fine.

But if you're saying mercenaries, other thieves, that kind of thing, should we be setting traps? Well, I suppose. Do the seals move? How did we open the first one? Gloom broke the seal. Yeah, but what happened to the actual tablet? The stone split in two and fell

aside. Oh, so when that happens, okay, here's the plan. It happens, it breaks, we get to two sides of the seal, push them in front of the door. Like the doorway and talk through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good plan. It happens, it breaks. We get to two sides of the seal, push them in front of the door. Yeah. Like the doorway and talk through. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good plan. Thank you. I am more than just a portaface. So if we can... And that terrible hit points. If we can board up our progress, I guess that'd be good to stop people from coming in.

Yeah, because it's been a linear series of events that have gotten us here. If we haven't seen anybody come past, then they have to come this route. Although anything that we can move to board up the entrance can presumably be moved by a force of equal strength. Correct. But, you know, why not? But, hey, it'll slow them down. Yeah.

It'll slow down anything weaker than us, says Willow. That's true. Is there anything, like that giant armory we fought, the sentient armory, can we kind of make traps out of this? How about this? Yes. Again, another clever plan from me. So we find the broken spear traps and then remove the spear,

put in a sword from the armory or a better spear from the armory. You kind of need the spear. The spear needs to reach a long distance. Are there spears in the armory there wouldn't no wood would have survived in the armory bullshit uh yeah but can we kind of make some makeshift traps at all try setting some stuff up like that none of you have any training or well not that you know there's any colleges that offer training and trap making but none of you have done any work

like this before though you could slap together some basic traps. Something with alchemist fire, perhaps? Yeah. Like... You can use some of the rusted old weapons and armors. Like, oh, you know when you have a door and you put a bucket of water on top of it? Yeah, that's pretty good. Alchemist fire that.

Put the alchemist fire above the door so when they open it up, oh, shit. Got him. This is my plan. I feel like this is just going to land on me. Oh, yeah, so you could accidentally set off your own trap while making it. That's a thing that can happen. I will not. I pass my alchemist's fire to you, or my son, Rhodes, and I'm like, good luck.

All right. If anyone has the best making of a trap, Adam, who would that be? Best at making a trap? What skill would that be? There's craft. So it's governed by intelligence, but I would say dexterity factors in as well. I have a very high dexterity. I have a 14.

And high intelligence. I see. I'm 16 dexterity, 11 intelligence. See, I'm 18 dex, 14 intelligence. So really, it's up to you, Jack. Unless Lilip is real good. Lilip has no- No.

No, Lilip's got good dexterity, but not as good as intelligence's. But a smarty pants over here. I will be dimmed to set some tropes. What trap would you like to make first? Is there a way I can create a trap that will set off my sun rod? Do you know what your sun rod does? It's like a flashbang, yeah? It's more like a flare.

So really it's more alchemist. Yeah, okay. Like an instant torch. Yeah, yeah, never mind. Then I'll just do something that'll maybe, again, something over a door. When you open the door, the alchemist fire falls on your head. Goodbye, guys. Okay.

Like, maybe using some rope to tie it up or something like that. Be careful. Can I say, before this happens, I tie my silk rope 50-foot feet around Anton. So if it goes wrong, I can, like, yank him out of this. It's, like, quick. Quick So if it goes wrong, I can yank him out of this quick. Quick save. You can try, yeah. I mean, you can wrap around him. Obviously you can tie a rope around

him, and you can try to pull him out of the way, but whether or not it works, it'll work 100% of the time. Don't give me that sly grin, you old dirty fox. How's it look? Alright. Okay. So, you old dirty fox. How's it look? Hi.

Okay. So, you set such a trap. Okay. Looks good. Is that this one? That's all we should have on this. I think that's enough. There's a man who is terrified right now, I assume.

I just imagine the whole thing of, like, standing on the stone door with the alchemist's fire. Slip. Everyone's like... Get footing. Put it back. Get down. Just imagine the whole thing of standing on the stone door with the alchemist's fire slip. Everyone's like... Get footing, put it back, get down. There's just a uniform... The only shame is that you'll never know what just happened. You'll never find out. That's true. Something, though.

He just lands perfectly in their hand. Neat. I guess. Anyway. Just the one trap, or are you making another? You could, actually. I would allow you to try and work out the mechanism behind the traps that haven't been working and see if you can activate them properly.

Yes. Okay. Similar problems, though. I will. Okay. Sorry. You go back to one of the earlier ones. This has been so stressful. You know, one of the traps that leads off to those workers' rooms?

You're resetting that one. And you know that you can take a stone out of a wall, and you can access the trap through that. Okay. Like a control panel. Not really a control panel. More just you tear a rock out of a wall, and you can see

inside the mechanism but control panel isn't entirely dissimilar so you're working with some of the gears there and you you see that there's a a bit of rock has come loose and fallen into the gears and you're like oh i just need to remove that rock simple you take the rock out the gear because it has already been tripped, spins and the spear juts all the way out of the wall, piercing you. This is on you guys. I yank on my rope.

You yank on the rope. The spear gets him and then you track him off. You yank on the rope, the spear gets him, and then you track him off. You take 11 points of damage. You're on one hit point. Just dragged into the other room. Oh, Lilip.

The trap resets. But now it's working. Yay! Lilip heals you for 11 hit points. Okay. Is that it? That's exactly what you want. I'm fine. Let them make a request.

Yeah, mate. That I never have to do that again. Fuck, my clothes would be so full of holes and cuts. Let's go and crack this seal Okay Alright, yeah Gloom, you know what to do Is it possible for him to have Oh, I know how this trap works

And then get someone else to do it Yeah Can I learn how the trap works and then instruct someone else? I would allow that at a penalty Yeah, I'll take that Alright, so do you want to keep working then? How many more traps was there? There's another trap that leads to the other worker's room.

Yeah. Yeah, right. I'll help that. Okay. Basically, if there is a rock in the gears, he pulls that out. That's pretty much the instruction he gives you. Sick. And if there's not a rock, then I have no clue.

Okay. Good news, bad news. Which would you like first? Bad news, mate. Bad news? Okay, so the instruction that you are given is incorrect. It's actually the worst thing that you could do. You accidentally set off the trap.

Dang. What's the good news? I haven't rolled for its attack yet, but it's probably going to miss. Unless it gets a critical. Which it didn't. It misses. Fuck. That's the edge of your seat stuff.

The spear trap is set off, or you're not supposed to take the rock out. Instead, you're supposed to push the rock through. Taking the rock out accidentally trips the trap again on you, but the spears just bounce off the back of your armor. I guess you're right. You think there's some bruising on your back, but it's no damage. It's bruised my spine, but it's fine. Not the problem.

You're going to have back problems later in life. As an old man, you're like, but every dungeoneer, like adventurer, must have arthritis in their old age. They call it gold digger's back. It's all the gold you have to carry. Oh, true. Man, their posture would be wrecked.

That's wrecked. Almost everyone would have to invent a pocket dimension you could just store your gold in. Nobody thinks of the physical damage, the physical toll being an adventurer takes. Hi, I'm Jackson Bailey. No one says this exactly, but positive energy healing, magical healing, imparts a slight radiation damage. An adventurer is exposed to three times the regular amount of radiation. Weirdly, all adventure is sterile.

Yeah. Magic makes you sterile. All right. We'll break this deal. Is that now a set? Yep. So you've set three traps. Two of them don't go towards the ultimate goal, but they are traps in the way of foolish adventurers and such.

All right, it'll do. Yeah, nice. Good job, team. We've already taken enough damage setting these traps. Let's break this seal. Yeah. Gloom puts both of his hands on the seal, says the same ancient prayer or ancient spell that he said last time,

and with a tremendous cracking and thunderous sound, the stone splits in two and falls to either side. Shall we put these up against the door? Is that going to trigger your trap if we do that? It probably will trigger the trap.

Never mind, let's go down the hole. Let's go down the hole. It's identical as last time, you need to lower some rope to climb down. I have 50 foot... Actually, I have a grappling hook and 50 foot of silk rope. I also have three on my use rope ability. Plus spider climb. Well, yeah, so I might spider climb down simultaneously,

but I can give you guys the rope and the grappling hook. Thank you. I can set that up for you. You guys have plenty of climbing equipment. You're a champ. You're a hero. But they use your grappling hook and rope. Yeah.

I'm struggling to be part of the team. Actually, silk rope is nicer than regular rope. It's easier to use. Your skin is welcome. So soft. As you're climbing down, all of you are like, oh, it's super soft. And I'm spider walking, so I kind of, I'm on the. Yeah, exactly.

Walk as if you are always walking on the floor, no matter what you are walking on. All right. So who wants to climb down first? This bugger lug. Do you remove your armor? It gives you a massive penalty. Yeah. Just drop your armor down.

Yeah. Also, is it light in there? Can we see anything? Oh, there's no light. No. Can I crack one of my sun deals? Sun rods? And drop it down?

Yeah. So the room is now properly illuminated. Oh, great. It's another large square room. I should actually. What are you doing, friend? How does my chicken get down? You throw it, it glides.

Yeah. They kind of put it in your backpack or something. Yeah. Does that chicken like. Sits on your shoulder. Oh, yeah. Or I just. Oh, yeah.

With the white dice, there's a door Joelwoods and there's a door Shankswoods. Other than that, the room is piled very high with sand. It's kind of ankle deep, the sand here. Who said that you were climbing down first, Shane? Yep. It's not glass sand, is it? We're not going to cut up our ankles. You need to have a closer look.

I'll have a look. Sand expert, resident sand expert here. That's where you were hired, mate. It's not glass sand, is it? We're not going to cut up our ankles? You need to have a closer look. I'll have a look. Sand expert, resident sand expert here. That's where you were hired, mate. It's regular old sand. Regular old sand, all right. You would see some glass in it, which is probably a little unusual, but the vast majority of it is just regular sand.

All right, cool. I don't put any in my pockets. It ain't no magical sand. This ain't nothing. I like to imagine you're reaching your. It ain't no magical sand. This ain't nothing. I like to imagine you're reaching in your pocket to get something. You're just cutting your hand up. Well, there goes me. It's been laid out.

I'm surprised. I killed him. Backpack. Liluk makes her way down as well. I guess it doesn't actually matter when I go down. Yeah. Because I'm in trouble either way. Yeah.

It's nice to have the healer at the bottom, though. Yeah, true. I'll go down. While they're doing that putting back on my armour You get down Then gloom Get on me Cursory look around the room You leave the rope there like last time

It's easier to climb up at some point I guess actually no they've got you So you guys can take the rope down. I take the rope down, so I still got a grappling hook. Yeah, right. Plus then, like, the people coming after us, it'd be like, oh, seek a rope,

and they'd just climb down. Like, damn. Although that would maybe be another trap, is to leave, like, a badly tied rope. Yeah. Incidentally, all of you give, just while you're in this room now, give a quick thought to your camels

all the way upstairs with all of your equipment in them. Your food, your water. We should have brought the camels down. How? Lots of ropes and pulleys. Or at least the equipment somehow. You guys have enough equipment or Gloom brought enough equipment for you guys to stay here for an extended period.

But if you were to travel back across the desert, if that if anything happened to those camels, you guys are in trouble. So we didn't just kill the camels, we did it's good to have camels. More camels are better. Yeah, but they might take them for their own uses and have moved them. Chances are, if someone's coming

here, we can take their camel. Hey, yeah. I mean, the best case scenario, we head back up and. I mean, the best case scenario, we head back up and when we arrive, there are like 50 camels and we tie them all up and go across the desert field. By the time we get back up, I expect a burning man to just be

happening around this tomb. I thought you were saying just a burning man. I was going to make a burning man joke, but you beat me to it. The name of this tomb is Alapalanda, right? Alapalooza? Alapalooza, yeah, that's the name of the festival.

Alphapalooza. Fuck. Oponia? Alipomanda. Pomanda. Alapomandalooza. Don't confuse me like this, James. Which means secret place in ancient Elven What's Oponia?

That's the town we came from Gotcha Elopomunda That wasn't very good, that could have been more Elven Elopomunda There you go Now you're like Elrond I'm just getting launched into an Elrond impression

And then I was like, I've never done that before I'm not going to give it a try. It's hard to do any sort of impersonation of Hugo Weaving without saying Mr. Anderson. Mr. Anderson, you're a lovely boy. It's like if I close my eyes, he was right here in this room. Is Hugo Weaving as Elrond in this room? Yeah, I guess.

There's not much we can do. It's kind of like, dang, why didn't we mention this before? Nothing we could have done, even if we'd figured it out at the moment. We can't bring the camels down. We just all have a moment of sadness. We could have hoisted the camels up to maybe a column, tied them up with rope and just pullied them up. So it was like...

The whole room is just more for the camels anyway. Oh, there we go. So you're just making us feel guilty for no reason. What are you doing? I'm just saying it's a thing that you guys consider. At least we've got the rooster to keep us company. So now you have the rooster. I'm going to kill that rooster, Jackson.

No, no. Please don't, mate. It's gooses cooked. Roast chicken. I will eat it. If it dies, I'll cook it and eat it. Might as well. It's good protein.

Look around the room. Is there anything going on? There's a door to the north and a door to the south. That's it. Or I should say a door to Shanks and a door to Zamet. All right. We want to go Shanks or Zamet way? I don't mind.

All right. Let's go. We went Shanks last week. Let's go Zamet way. A corridor further along to Zamet with a left sort of option, I guess. It's a T intersection that turns left. All right. I'll go to the T intersection,

have a look quick. The light illuminates two doors. A door at the end of that corridor, and a door at the end of both corridors. Do I even have light? The spell. God damn it, you're the worst.

Fucking time. You're not even noticing how I'm getting mad at you, Jackson. You're doing it. All right. I'll go to the one. Head off the left branching path. Adam would. And get people to follow behind me.

Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty close behind. Everybody's behind? Except for Gloom and Jack. Maybe stay around the corner. Just in case. So you're not like Directly behind us Yeah

When I You and Gloom Should be building up A very good relationship You've been hugging You know I'm probably telling him Stories about my childhood

You never explicitly said That you let him go Like you might still be hugging I like to imagine Still holding his hand He's just like Happily doing it I don't really know

If I consider myself You know Like into men Or women I think I'm sort of really know if I consider myself, you know, like into men or women. I think I'm sort of, you know, like sort of gloom. You know, you get that? You know, you're kind of like, yeah, whatever. Whatever's there. I'm here to experience life, gloom.

Do you understand that? You know, whatever comes. Life is a bounty. Gloom runs to you and says, yeah, I feel I can really talk to you. You can. Anything you have to say, you know? Having overheard this, I'm silently giggling at whatever comes.

Me and Gloom, we're mates. Friends till the end. Open the door, Adam. Heise los. Heise. Heise? Okay. So, knowing that... Heise. Stay at Heise? Yes. Okay. heist okay so knowing that heist stay at heist yes okay when you open the door you see the

remnants of a magical sigil formed half over the door and half over the wall and you notice that you have broken the seal when you open the door oh no there's a There's a whip-crap- Whip-crap? Whip-cracking sound, but nothing happens. Hey! I mean, maybe. Maybe a little bit of fizzling smoke as the spell, whatever spell it was, fails. Classic alt magic. I like that spells fade.

Yeah, that's all right. This is, like, easy for trap finding. Should have got a rogue, anyway I mean it's lucky we'll say that a massive sand filled room the back wall the far wall

of this room has collapsed away entirely and the desert has fallen into this room oh man oh it's like that

that room from Andrei Tarkovsky's Stalker if you've seen that Russian film I have not keep going it's great that's exactly what I'm picturing toalker, if you've seen that Russian film. I have not. Keep going.

It's great. That's exactly what I'm picturing. To any of the listeners that have seen that film, I'm picturing that room, and it's great. That's delightful. You see, kind of in the centre of the room, a nest with several eggs in it. Uh-oh.

I don't like the look of the figurine you've just put down. Neither do I. Oh, no. This creature shares some traits in common with a scorpion, but one that has grown to monstrous size and adopted a partially upright posture, allowing it to bite foes with its dangerous

mandibles. Fuck off. Give us a gander. That's pretty sick. What? He looks like, uh, so imagine like a scorpion with sick hair who's about to like launch into a rap video. Like he's like leaping up like he's about to cross his arms over and be like,

meanest gangster from the desert. He's, yeah, he's alright. He's the most gangster scorpion I've ever seen. See what I mean? He's like about to be like- Or he's like timidly sneaking, because he's really on, like, two... perched on, like, three tiny little legs. Maybe he's, like, launching into a sprint.

How is he balanced? Yeah, he looks very top-heavy. Like, that's just almost... You know those, like, shitty websites you get, like, oh, these 20 photos were taken before a giant fail, and then it's that. Because, like, about a millisecond after he's toppling face first into sand.

Also got like insect eyes. Like what are those thousand eye... Fly eyes. Yeah, fly eyes. These 15 scorpion fails will make you laugh. Doctors hate him. But this scorpion man has discovered the secret to nature's

eternal bounty. You know arctic foxes when they do that pounce? Oh, yeah. And into snow? Looks like he's about to do that. And that's so cool. Imagine somebody doing that in the desert. That's ill. I haven't really thought about this,

but a lot of the creatures I'm throwing at you guys do constitution damage. You know, you don't think about this until it comes up. Look, this should be easier than... I bet it's not. It isn't. I charge. I just stay here with Gloom. It looks a little surprised to see you.

You look a little surprised to see it. It's this whole awkward scenario. Hey, buddy. All right, so he hasn't attacked? Oh wait, there's initiative first. Never mind. Initiative. And then we'll see what happens. I want to go swamp green, please. I'll go semen red.

I'll go poop brown. Champion. Good on you, Gann. I'm proud. I've got pride in my heart. But will pride be enough to get our heroes past the giant scorpion creature? Unlikely. But find out next time on Buried Beneath, a D&D is for Nerds adventure. Thanks for listening.

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