D&D is For Nerds - Buried Beneath #13 Don't Kiss Dice

Episode Date: May 2, 2017

In which our heroes fight from a higher ground. Shane stabs a worm in it’s stupid face, Anton is eating melon lollies and Squim does not give a fuck.Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets for the Sydney Comedy Fest and Brisbane show right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeJackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadShanks: twitter.com/timtimfedZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio, you can't prove they're not random. Dean Rankin, host of the smash hit show Comedians Against Humanity, Yanni Ajizulu, cosplayer and host of Kapow, Feisty Cuffs and maybe a couple of otheries. It's gonna be a couple of comedy packed shows and you can grab your tickets right now over at sanspantsradio.com slash live and follow the links. I can guarantee that at least one of those nights, I'll be talking at length about War Horse and what superpowers that proto-Nazi-hating horse may or may not have. So, once again, head to santspantsradio.com slash live to grab your tickets today. We also might not be able to record these ones.

We're going to try our best, but like, this might be for your eyes and ears only, we guess. Anyways, enjoy the show. Woo! War Horse! Thank you, Adam. War Horse enthusiasm aside, one more thing. Our producer of our show is also doing these fine shows at the Sydney Comedy Fest, so go check out the worldwide smash hit Yo Mama Battle on May 3rd and 5th, Seizure Kaiser's dark comedy Kill Yourself on May 4th, 6th

and 7th, The Bogan Philosopher on May 17th and 19th, and finally, best friend of the show, George DeMorelos with his show Self-Sabotage on May 11th, 13th and 14th. Now, enjoy the show. War Horse! Yes, yes, War Horse is great. Warhorse! of uh channel previously you find another room with another mosaic it looks like the next part of the story this looks like several pictures it's uh groups of elves coming together for some sort of council meeting the great minds the great elven minds of the time come have come together for some sort of meeting to discuss their war where there was a war between the elves and the

dwarves a brutal war Both sides took many losses. This creature is bigger than a horse and has a thorny lion body. You guys don't know types of sphinxes, but you know it is a sphinx. It looks like a machine that someone has made a very lifelike body around. That's very unfortunate.

This place can be quite treacherous. I am the guardian of this level. From around its neck, a key you can see is on a necklace. Zuki! That is a key, we're looking for that. A single syllable do I claim. Black is my most famous name. Fatal to mortals here below. Thousands I have slain in a single blow. What am I? What if I convince it I'm a spanker and it must answer my riddles? Yeah, it's a spanker. Oh, we're all sick.

Oh, shit. Resting in the room with the unbroken seal, none of you feel particularly well. For some of you, it's a feeling of ill at ease. For others, it's a sickness. For Anton, it's both. So Gloom rouses on the next day. He's like, what happened? I'm still not asleep. We defeated him. We Gloom rouses on the next day. He's like, what happened?

We served the shakes. Do you need the cure? Bedrest? Bullshit. We can carry on, but I'm not in a good way. Why don't you wait up here? Nip. I sleep.

Sleep away the sickness, Adam. You only have so many rations left. You're actually running out now. If you keep doing stuff like this. But we don't need to eat. We don't need rations. And Lilip's gone. I don't need to eat.

It's a less of a mouth to feed. Well, true. Yeah. Well, you do need to feed two people, which I guess is not nearly as much. Yeah. All right. You can do that if you want. I'll take another.

You can go. We'll go down. He can keep napping up to stop. Yeah. We'll just be a person down for a little bit. Alright, you want to do that? You bring Gloom with or is Gloom staying with him? Split the party? What do you want to do? You can do it. I'll stay here and sleep. Send Gloom with you because

he knows that to break the seal, he knows what's going on in the dungeon. But I am literally a hindrance at this point. Yeah. I find just like a corner of warm sand and curl up and sleep. I help him identify the warmest sand. It's hot. This sand's too hot.

This sand's too cold. But this sand is made of glass. Should I read the inscription yeah yeah like a little bit like a lullaby for old anton gloom translates the third inscription traveler when you read this i will be long dead my body dust and all my living memory gone. Lillip. These words are all that is left. Why would I lie to you? What cause have I to hurt you, traveler?

Turn back while you still can. Methinks thou dost protesteth too much. Obviously they're hiding cool party supplies down here. I'm like, hang on a second. CPSs. Can we... I was like, hang on a second. CPSs. Can we... I was like, can we lock the door and give the key back to the Sphinx, but then how do we get out? That's annoying.

Why don't we just lock the door and keep the key? And then it's locked on our side. Nobody can get through. The keyhole is only on the other side. Bullshit. Nobody can get through or out. Dang. All right.

That's a good plan. Yeah. Oh, well. So, Gloom cracks the seal. So, Gloom, don't... dang alright that's a good plan yeah oh well so Gloom cracks the seal so Gloom don't okay I guess you're right

oh well no it takes him a while to cast this spell so you can't interrupt him if you want like Gloom do you want to just leave

people might find another way around the expression point of no return comes to mind. Yeah. Abandon hope ye who enter. I don't think we can prevent anyone else from getting in here. Yeah, nah, fair. Like, we're dickheads and we got here.

Maybe we don't have to deal with the riddles because the door's unlocked. Yeah, like that was the biggest challenge. they could have all just gotten the shakes yeah so yeah right yeah right you're right here yeah just leave me for a moment i will lie here i will get the powder i need so we'll go down and see what's going on once you have completely gloom here as well and when we need like if we need either of you then we'll come down and see what's going on. Once you have completely gloom here as well. And when we need like, if we need either of you, then we'll come back up and grab you. Yes. Adam, what's the range of message?

100 feet-ish. Can I cast message on myself and Zom so that I'm like, if anybody comes, I can be like, oh, shit, and you will get the message in your head. No, you can't. You got to like cast it on the spot. That's bullshit. Also, I think if you can't see them, it doesn't...

Yeah, no, if you can't see them, it doesn't work. Never mind, I'll just yell. We'll leave a rope as well, so you can just retreat to us. Yeah, hang on. We're potentially full. How much rope do I have? Do I have 50 foot of rope? I don't know, do you?

Well, you never wrote it down. Yeah, you don't have it. Because I could borrow one of... Actually, Gloom would have a lot of... Because I was like, I do you? Well, you never wrote it down. Yeah, you don't have it. Because I could borrow one of... Actually, Gloom would have a lot of... Because I was like, I could tie a rope

around one of your waists and hold onto it and then tug on it. They can't go further than 50 feet. Yeah. I feel like we will. I feel like just

down the hole. It's a 30 foot... I will yell. I will yell if anyone... Leave me. I'm sick. Climbing down is 30 feet of line.

Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. Can we take your chicken, Howard? Your chicken's going to of wine. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. Can we take your chicken, Harry? The chicken's going to get up. Yeah, never mind. You'll be fine. Take your chicken.

I've got an empathic link with it. Gloom says, why don't you just go down and stay in the first room? All right. Okay, I'll do that. Fine. Yeah, I guess that's more. Thank you, Gloom. That's our bad, Gloom.

You're right. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, Adam, can I have a melon lolly While we're recording How loud are you going to be I'll be very quiet Then yes Yay

Jackson gets a melon lolly I'm having a melon lolly You're the admin you can't Already He's already It's going to take him forever to finish that You're the admin, you can't Already He's already It's going to take him forever to finish that, you know Let's take forever to finish Like for the rest of today's episode

Potentially Alright, we'll go down Crack the seal And we'll put like a little nap bed For him, and then he can just rest Yep, I'll sleep Gloom puts his hands upon the seal and begins the rite to break it open.

When it cracks, it falls to the side, just like all the other ones have, and it reveals the hole below. All right, do we still have a sunrod? Yeah, you can crack one and let them down. I think I have six, so... No, I've got four now, but drop one down. How's the load?

Load. How do we fuck that up? It goes into my sleep. Red. Brown? Poo brown? Sorry, but the choice was made for you. What?

What are we? How do you fuck this up? How do we fuck this up? Or do we see something down there? I think we're going to see something down there. You crack the sunrod. It flares. You let it down.

It hits the bottom, and you see thick sand. The other two times you've done this, you've had to climb down 30 feet. This one, you think you only need to climb down 20 feet because the sand is so thick on the floor. From a cursory look look you think you're going to need to do some basic excavating to get at the doors man crazy can we roughly see the whole room from up here yeah you could pretty much see so we as far as so i i look at the room as much as i can to see if there's maybe some sort of creature or some sort of thing in there some kind of sandworm after spending some time observing,

you notice the sand shifts or... You know when in the movie there's like something underneath the sand and the sand ripples? Fucking tremor bullshit. Yeah, yeah, like some tremor bullshit. Throw my alchemist's fire down there. You know what was going to happen? It would have been the arm.

I was going to... You would have been first, and I would have asked, so you take your armor off to climb down, right? I would have. Yeah, and then I would have had you got. Yep. I would have had first, and I would have asked, so you take your armor off to climb down, right? I would have. Yeah, and then I would have had you got. Yep.

I would have had you got. Okay. You solved my riddle. So with that composite longbow, I have a longbow, but I can't use the magical one, can I? Actually, I think you can. I might have been misspeaking earlier. With the longbow, you probably can use a composite.

Is it better than what I have? Yeah, it would be than yeah we could throw the alchemist fire down there fuck you up this time right yeah is that we do it put the alchem's fire on the edge of the oil. Get your sword and boop. No risk of danger. What is it called? Take a 10 or some shit where I can just drop it? You can't take 10 with attacks. So you probably don't know this term. Taking a 10 is, you know how I roll when you're doing things to determine your success? So I roll a 20-sided dice.

Taking a 10 is basically what you're saying is i'm very careful i'm very slow and methodical and i just carefully do this thing and so instead of rolling we just assume you got a 10 because you were careful about it nice there's also a thing called taking a 20 but taking a 20 has a lot of very strict rules about it yeah because these are like mulligan rolls yeah it's like basically it's like come on adam we could sit here and i could keep rolling until i get a 20 or you could just accept that i'm gonna get okay right yeah yeah but there are there are like rules to when you can do these things for example your deceive item is basically just lets you take a 10 on a use magic device

whenever okay so that's just what thatwise, that's what that ability actually does. All right, so. Are you going to drop that out of the fire? Well, when, I assume you pointed out. Yeah, I'm like, hey, there's Tremors. The movie is happening in the next room. Hey, Bakes. For some reason in this medieval society,

the movie Tremors is a cultural touchstone that all of you are aware of. Yeah, I'm aware of that. A phenomenal film, yes. Tremors and its many sequels, one of which was in Cowboy Times. Kevin Bacon fucking did not like that movie. Really? It's great. Like after, in retrospect, he's like, yeah, fine, okay.

But when he was making the movie, he's like, what has become of my career? Really? He thought it was going to be a dumb schlocky horror movie. But it was a comedy horror. It was a great schlocky horror movie. He did not know it at the time. Oh, wow. Yeah.

So this thing we've got to deal with. Yes, right. Can I, I'm assuming it can't jump out of the sand and get me. Yeah. I could kind of spider walk. So I'm sort of on the ceiling. Maybe survey for a ledge or something that you guys could then try and rope to or something? Well, my longbow is 100 feet.

Oh. No one's going to throw the alchemist's fire. Well, look, I might miss him. He's a hole. He's a hole. No, but he's moving down there. Yes, but he's a big... Look, mate, yeah, I can get the bow.

Whatever, I have the shakes. Then I'll grab the alchemist's fire. Then I can throw it down. Oh, your accuracy will be rubbish. I just don't have to give it to you. It's your accuracy will be rubbish I should not fire rays at this point Sending the chicken down Pouring it down on a rope Jurassic Park, this bullshit

Put the alchemist's fire in the chicken's mouth Didn't you have grenades? Is that alchemist's fire? Yeah Can we have an attack of opportunity? The bow and the grenades is that today is that alchemy's fire yeah yeah um just like yes yeah well um can we have like a attack of opportunity the bow on the freaking aldrich blast our opening salvo you just you just want to attack yeah yeah are you wait sorry i sort of phased out of your conversation for a brief moment are you lowering the chicken down no you just want to fire at it yeah you heard

what you wanted to hear we said like 30 things and you were like So you're lowering the chicken Which I think is something you suggested Alright so Who's going to attack the creature? I'll attack him with my bow So are all three of you though? Not this shaky boy I'm also keen to protect the creature

I'll be green Green? Alright Oh boy Both of you know the general area that it's in Both of you fire but it's like kind of a bit of a guess Really Bit of a crapshoot as it were I would like to gesture from my shaky position

My alchemist fire There's no time on the alchemist fire It's alright It will just get him in fire. There's no time on the alchemist fire. It's all right. It will just get him in one. It does such a lot. What's this? The alchemist fire.

Will it get him in one? It'll certainly hit him. It hits an area, so you're more likely to get him with alchemist fire. Hey, alchemist fire, dude. Alchemist fire doesn't do nearly as much damage as anything else, though. Could we lower you down on a rope so you're kind of above, like too high for it,

and you can just like, you know. Pew, pew, pew. Yeah, just do that. We've got to be careful. We've got to be healer. Hazel Lowe's. Hang on a second. Can I.

Are we doing that? Hang on, hang on. You've already made your attacks. As a knight. Okay, right. Yeah. Can I? What is my.

You don't know if the creature is aware of you. So my knight, I'm like, it's down there. I can't. All right. Fuck. Knight's code is kind of stupid when it comes to animals i just want to point out you i would allow you to attack if you want to you could say like i reckon this thing knows we're here all right yeah then yeah

i think it's i think i straight up don't give a fuck i kill babies i'm gonna go heist okay i want that one Heiss or Lose? Heiss You kick up a lot of sand And create maybe the Eldritch Blast It has enough heat to it to create some glass Even in the sand You're not sure if you hit it though You can still see it squirming around down there

So you're not sure what exactly is going on Drop that Artemis Fire I'm glad to be helping I'm glad to be helping. I'm glad to be helping. You drop the alchemist fire down. Heiselos. Not me.

He's doing it. Oh, you do it? Yeah. Sorry. Why would I? I got the shakes out. Heiselos. Heis.

Heis. Okay. The alchemist fire bursts into fire, obviously, when it hits the ground. The fire, because's fire bursts into fire, obviously, when it hits the ground. The fire, because it's like Greek fire, so it's the liquid inside it, like napalm, when it just comes in contact with air, it just bursts into flames. You've kind of started a little bit of fire on the sand, which is just burning away merrily.

You're, once again, not 100% sure if you've hurt this creature. All righty. It's hard to tell. We'll just keep firing arrows and electric blasting for a bit. It's actually probably going to be very hard to spot now because it doesn't... It's afraid to get near the top. I know I'm crunching it, but that's me. It's finished. Well done,

Jackson. It was good and I liked it. That has been a review of Watermelon Lollies. Of the original lolly shops, watermelon rock. I know I said that it tries to dig down deeper, but what I actually meant is that it bursts out of the sand

and you can see it proper. Got him. It's another one of these diddly-doos. It's one of these bad boys. Ashworm mates. Is that the one that real fucked us before? Oh yeah. It got us good. It bursts out of the sand. This is what destroyed my con. Do we know if they're smart at all, these things?

I mean, hot boys? I'm not sure. Do I know if it's smart? I'm an intelligent one. They're just monsters. Right. They're just wild. It's a creature.

It's an animal. It reacts as an animal. Okay. Okay. Bad pitch. Do you have any grenades left? No. Ah, damn it. I was going to say we could. Piss yellow. Always bet on piss. P. Bad pitch. Do you have any grenades left? No. Ah, damn it.

I was going to say we could- Piss yellow. Always bet on piss. Piss? Blue. There's no blue? What's that color then? Black?

Or green? Blue is the one that looks like blue to my stupid shitty eyes. No, no, no. Jackson way. The black. It's a black. Is that black? Yeah.

It's black and gray. It's not even like- I'll go green. In my bad eyesight with the colors, it looks a little bit blue. Fair. I forgive you. That's all I ever wanted from you. Sorry, I got you back.

Thank you. What's your pitch anyway? I'm out of grenades. I want to bait it. I want to tie something on the rope and lower it down because it's a dumb monster. It might bite it and then blow up inside. I think that'd be pretty cool the only thing I've got is a flare

that shitty syringe of healing oh shit alright so what we've got to do what if it just shatters and gets in your mouth I'll see you soon little

souls shall fuse in heaven. Who are you? Oh, that's right. I guess this was their honeymoon. You're that guy who had bleeding hands for a while. He kept showing them to me for some reason. Scrim, you go first. Oh, shit.

Okay. Well, so that pitch isn't going to work. It's got us. What have I got? Yeah, you could tie a ration to a rope and lower that needle in. Yeah. Or is it... I guess we know it's burst out,

but does it look like it's coming out of the hole? What do you mean? Can it reach 20 feet up? Yeah. Or is it more like... Up it was the other ear. The other ear was huge. No.

Was it 20 feet? Was it kind of condescised? Well, actually, it's visible for now, other? The other was huge. No. Was it 20 feet tall? Was it like anaconda sized? Well, actually, it's visible for now, right? It might borrow back later. Yeah, it might just go down on its next turn. Okay, well, I'm just going to be safe then and just Eldritch Blast it because whilst I can see it, I imagine that's probably the best. It probably can't reach up to you guys.

Okay. In fact, I'd say it's only half the height it needs to be able to jump. Oh, man. Eldritch Blast down and get that height benefit. I reckon we just play it safe. We're not normally a clever group, but let's decide today to be

clever. And look, if you rave and people, it's just down. You can't get us. There's no way I can miss. We're not going to stay clever for long because clever's boring. I want more silly bitches. You can miss, but you can't get us. I intend on my turn to crawl over to the lip and raven people like some old mafia style just point down execute fire execution style yeah you blast it straight in its

dumb head it rocks backwards you deal four points in total of damage to it it looks pretty badly hurt at this point between the attacks. You can see your arrow is sticking out of it, so you know you hit it with the arrow earlier. And it looks a little singed, so maybe it also got hit by the alchemist fire. Mad. Great. Awesome. Then it is Shane. Yeah, so the

magical composite longbow thing. Fire that again. Do I need to write stats down? I'm just going to write CM. It's fine. I know. It's just a plus one, yeah? Just remind me every time you use it that it's a composite longbow. You hit again. It does extra damage. Neat.

A composite longbow, there's longbows and then there's composite longbows. Yeah, cool. A composite one has a tighter draw or harder draw, so it requires a higher strength score to use, but because of that, it does extra damage. Yeah, cool. Plus magic. You fire a bow also into its stupid head.

Good. Dealing five points of damage. Getting him good. What's the magic of it? Is it just like a plus one? The magic just improves its natural abilities. Just like a plus one. Yeah, it has no special fire damage or anything like that.

That's curious. It's just magically enhanced. Zeke. Then I'm calling it out. Anton's turn. Can I crawl over to the lip and ray of enfeeblement in? This could be your time to shine.

This is my time to shine, ladies and gentlemen. I can't really hit anybody else. No way! You want to kiss it? I do, give it here. I did that once long ago and you yelled at me. In like season one, you're like, don't kiss dice. You don't know where they've been you shouldn't

it's good advice you get it yes imagine it's like bounces off its chitin and i'm so hoping for a one to be honest just blows up in your hands fuck you you blasted draining it of its strength you remove three points of strength from its total see how good that is when I can actually use it? Yes, I agree. It's very good when you can use it. However, history has shown. These things are remarkably easy to ride. I'm looking at the rules for them. Oh, really?

I have a mad ride modifier. Do you? You've got to tame it first. How do we go about that? I don't have any Pokeballs. There's a skill called Handle Animal, which I don't think any pokeballs there's a skill called handle animal which i don't think anyone here is particularly good you just pester it enough with your pestleball till you can take a photo handle animal gonna let you know even if someone wants to try that handle animal is

a thing done over much time like weeks months yeah even i have no handle animal yeah i have a hot one well i know everyone's checking because I know you guys want this. I want a worm, pal. Yes, please. Well, now that you mentioned it, yes. And it's its turn. It burrows back underground. That piece of shit.

It would have been Lilip's turn then. It would have been, usually. You can still spot it, Shane. Sick. Composite longbow. Here he is. Squim, it's your turn first oh i can't see it anymore no it's borrowed down and you do not know where it has gone you can fire wildly into the sand but there's a very poor chance you'll hit it uh if i got a bit closer would i have a better because i can't do spider walks i'm on like the ceiling and maybe

have a bit of a bit of a bit of a better i'd allow you to get in a little bit closer and make another check to look for it but that'd be your time. Okay. Well, in that case I'll just blast randomly. Why not? What if? Who knows what'll happen? Exactly. Heist.

Alright then. Well done! Hey! You deal 7 points of damage to it, and Shane, as the only person who can see it, you notice that it's stopped digging. Got him. It seems very dead. We got it.

Right, nice. I fire an arrow just for safety. Yeah, I don't like the seams of that. It seems nice. You hit it again, or you hit it with your arrow, I should say. It doesn't squirm or move or react when it gets hit, so you're fairly certain it's dead. We're about 80% to 90% sure we got it.

You are 3% sure it's dead. Rope and lower down. Okay. Having just done that, do you remove your armor? No. Best not. Even if you fall, it's better than... You're not landing on anything too tough.

I should have lost your armor. You fall. You're like, it's fine, I don't... You impact heavily on the sand, taking three points of damage. That's fine. On the neck. I'm gone. Bruise spine.

Adventurous bruises. Then the sand rumbles beneath you and another ash worm appears. Watch your good! Fuck you. Fuck bullshit. Hey, you kept your armor on this time. It attacks.

That's pretty good. Be proud. I can't ray of enfeeblement because it's you or him. What else do you have? Nothing! Like I could throw my chicken down, but then my chicken's just gonna get it. You can feel its stinger pierce

deep into your shoulder. You take ten points of damage and then you feel it pump poison into you like the dickens. Can I roosterfly? Well, you got a good con so lucky. The poison passes harmlessly

through your system. Binds with the plague you probably have. That's gonna to happen. Oh, God. Then it is... Shame. Your turn. I'm going to keep the same initiative we had last time.

All right. Shield block. Is shield block... What is shield block again? Is it a move itself? It means that you specify a single enemy and you get extra armor class against them. Well, him.

And, yeah, can I try and stab him in his stupid face for rusing me? Get this stupid Ash Worm. You stab upwards and you feel you've got the shield raised above your head so you can't see properly with the blow. But when the sword stops suddenly

and you feel it connect with something you know you've found your mark. You deal 10 points of damage to it. Nice. Pretty good. It deals 10 to you, you deal 10 to it. All right. And Anton, you've seen what's just happened.

So, is passing a potion an action? Could I pass a potion to him or is he too far down? You could drop a potion and he can roll to catch it. It's a potion of bull strength. I'll chuck it down. No, it's fine. You're fine? Then I'll go acid splash because it's something I just don't use because it has garbage

damage. I don't think it's the kind of thing we can hit him. It's a splash. It's in the name. It's like a vat of acid. It does that max three damage. You're fine. How's the lows? Lows? Come on.

Come on. Be a pal. I'm sorry, Shane. No! Wait. Wait. Against me or against the worm? Against me.

Him or the worm, Adam? Him or the worm? You got a crit. I got a crit. Oh, no. That's against me. Funny bone. Double damage.

And the target spends one round laughing. Okay. I want to hear a worm laugh. I want to hear that worm laugh. Please be the worm. What a funny worm. Yes. I want to hear a worm laugh. I want to hear that worm laugh. Please be the worm. What a funny worm. So you draw the energy similar to how a swim does into your hand. You chuck it down.

And as you're chucking it down, you're like, that's a little bit of funny magic there. It tickles a bit. You kind of drop it down. At the same time, Shane, you were stabbing upwards, not really looking up as well. You stab, you feel the connection. You jerk once and its head turns to the side.

Its head turns to the side. And because of that, the acid orb just drops straight onto your face. Feeling four points of damage. Well, it's only four damage. It's like nothing. And you're not mad. It just splashed you in the face and you're like, what a joke.

Your constitution is great. Oh, no. I got that wrong. You're not incapacitated with laughter as I wish had happened. But you're just fine? You just find this funny, not mad. Okay. Fucking Anton. What a mate.

What a practical joker. Good bloke, that one. Good bloke. Useful. Squim, I accidentally skipped you. No, no, no. I was after Anton. As in before Shane, I think. I haven't had a turn against this.

Squim, Shane, Anton. Squim, Shane, Anton. So it's still the same order, but we started in a different spot. We just started. No, no, no. I think I haven't had a turn against this Squim Shane Anton Squim Shane Anton so it's still the same order but we started in a different spot we just started yeah but I no no no I think I did actually accidentally skip you

because I'm like and now back to the beginning I don't know Adam I did skip you I did skip you so bloody heck I'm going to give you

a free turn here oh free turn what does that mean just double damage I get it I get a turn oh damn it

no you wish I think you're going to get a second time immediately. Oh no, it's going to be Ash Worm, then you again. I'm going to... I want to Earthen Grasp it, but you're so close to the worm that it's not worth it. Fuck, imagine if you were laughing. The Earthen Grasp will always try to target the worm first.

Okay, cool. Well then, yeah, I'm going to Earthen Grasp at the worm. Do you want to know how stupid I'm gonna earthen grasp at the worm. Do you wanna know how stupid I am? It's always good. Please. So, earthen grasp. Can we guess what, until this moment, I thought that was?

Those words. Earth and grass. Oh, earth and grass. I thought the move was called earth and grass. I turned the sand into a lovely lawn. I always wondered why. Not earth and grass. I thought the move was called earth and grass. I turned the sand into a lovely lawn. I always wondered why. Not earth and grass. And it never occurred to me that, of course, it's earth and grass.

Anyway, just a little insight into my slow, terrible brain. Round of applause. A sandy hand bursts out of the ground and grasps for the worm. It grabs the worm solidly within its grip and starts dragging the worm down under the sand or trying to. Oh, nice. Drown it good. Do it as. I mean, can you drown in sand? Because it was burrowing under there.

It's home. It's time. Same. Yeah. Oh, piss. Yeah, always bad on piss. It's like the number one rule around here. The worm cannot get free of the grass.

See? What did I say? Piss. Spim, it's your the number one rule around here uh the worm cannot get free of the grass great i spider walk into the room can i then do a thing if i if i do that first uh did you have to cast spider walk did you have it on already i don't know i don't remember i think i had to cast it so nope i don't cast it i just i just eldritch blasted good eldritch blasted down just keep pow pow pow, pow, pow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can get... Can you...

I don't know if it's the same as 3.5, but you get like additions to Eldritch Blast to make it better? Yeah, you can. That's cool. There are a couple, actually. And when you guys level up, I'm going to be going through...

I'll give you like the full... If we get a chance. Assuming we don't cost you. Assuming you don't die. I'm going to get out the full list of all the different Eldritch invocations and we'll go through it assuming you don't die I'm gonna get out the full list of all the different Eldrick invocations and we'll go through it

and you can switch out now that you know the rules a little bit better switch out and see if there's something you like better nice yeah and there's

different types of modifiers you can put on that Eldrick blast oh cool and so you can you know mix and match see if there's something you like

cool and when that happens we can just slit Anton's throat and he can make a newie I mean it's an idea. I'm enjoying this. I mean, Anton might be just like for the greater good.

Grab your glass spear. I mean, knife. Anyway. You fire downwards. The Eldritch Blast kicks up a lot of sand. It misses the Ash Worm, but it also misses any bodies as well. So everything's good. Then it is

Shane's turn. From the start. Remember, the Ash Worm is being dragged. Yeah, it's grappled up. So you actually get bonuses to hit it now. Good, I'm going to stab him right in his stupid face. Fucking worms, man. Bless you, Adam.

It's tickling. It's not going to come out in a minute. In a minute, whatever. Anyway, you get aling. It's not going to come out in a minute. In a minute, whatever. Anyway, you get a critical. Let's find out what the critical was. Oh, nice. Oh, yay. Hey. Fuck, don't you wish Adam ran the game that disinterested.

You get a critical. Let's find out what the critical was. You're only excited when it's against us. It's true. Can't do that one. Not allowed. Banned. Illegal move. Can't do that one. Not allowed. Banned. Illegal move.

Can't do that one. Illegal move as well. Doesn't have an Achilles heel. It's got no legs. It doesn't make sense. They have several Achilles heels. Doesn't have lips. What would that have been?

Kissed to death. All right. Momentum. Double damage and plus two to all of your attacks for one round. Oh, see. Shit. So, you deal 14 points of damage to it. Hey, nice.

Oh, it's dead. Hey! You cut its head off. The fucking hand. You gotta dispel that hand. You better dispel that. Yeah, you dispel the hand. Bye, hands.

It tries to... It waves back at you. Yeah, it does a little Terminator 2. It turns into a thumb as it burrows back into the sand. You know, there's a deleted scene that explains why... Yeah, yeah. Why what? Why...

You know the line, I know now why you... Cry. Cry, but I cannot do it. Apparently, there's a deleted scene where they hack into the Terminator or something like that. Yeah, they reboot him so that he can learn human emotions. Because in the original cut, they don't do that.

But in the extended edition, I think that's in there. I think in the extended edition. I love that that's just a thing. They're like, we got emotions in them. It wasn't like they made them and emotions happened. It was like they made him with emotions. We're like, that's probably not good for our death machine. Just chuck in a subroutine and it gets rid of them.

I think the way they explain it is that the files are read-only, so he can't change or can't learn emotions or anything like that. Oh, okay. So it's not like they make it capable of knowing emotions. Why even give it the capacity to learn sadness? I guess they didn't mean to. Well, they didn't. That's exactly it.

No, no, but he can. It's just an intelligent robot, I think. It's foolish. You don't need to make Terminator should have been just like a tank. It was weed only. They were like, we got this. But they're simply like, oh, you're using our 1990s PC sort of hacking skills. Because he hacked that ATM.

Yeah, he did. He did hack that ATM. John Connor, good at machines. That's what the movie was trying to tell us. John Collar? John Collar us John Collar John Collar John's Collar They should have just sent back like an attack helicopter Sure at least a drone

A bomb They say that in the film It's like why not just send back a bomb It has to be wrapped in organic tissue Wrap it in skin It's easier than making a fucking ball They forget that rule immediately In the second movie

Yeah Or Get like say The liquid robot What's he wrapped in Oh that's true They forget that rule immediately I was gonna say like

Like a mustard bomb Yeah A mustard bomb Wrap it in skin Yeah Or mustard gas bomb Wrap it in skin Mustard gas isn't deadly

Is it No Just a nuke Nuke it Nuke it Fuck it I was gonna say Cause like hey You know

Nuke will also destroy the robots But like a deadly gas I see what you're saying Robots are immune to gas Like robots don't need to breathe Yeah It's like take the air out of the planet Destroy the

Do the robots need Not need humans To still make them? No That's true i wish i could be as interesting as the indie game as you are in this explanation that's true i guess terminator aside all terminators aside notators. We have felled the beast. Excellent. Congratulations.

Man, one day we should play that, like the way a TV show would depict Dungeons & Dragons. We felled the beast, roll for experience. Ah, thou art my friend forever and a day. So like a 60s TV show. Why don't we? My next character. That's a guarantee. Anyway like a 60s TV show. Why don't we? My next character.

That's a guarantee. Anyway, I go to sleep. But what are Jackson's promises worth anyway? Find out next time on Buried Beneath, a D&D's for nerds Adventure. Thanks for listening. If you want to help support the show, why not become a member at SandsPantsPlus.com and get early access to our shows,

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