D&D is For Nerds - Buried Beneath #2 Carpe Diem

Episode Date: March 25, 2017

In which our heroes discuss their adventures, future and past. Shane has some assumptionsabout life and death, Anton is worried about money and Squim is very anti-virus.Want to help support the show?Patreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeJackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadShanks: twitter.com/timtimfedZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sans Pants Radio, fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman! But after much convincing, they agreed and together we recorded one of the greatest adventures in D&D is for Nerds history ever maybe. If you signed up to Patreon before April 1st, you'll get exclusive access to what we are calling D&D is for Dad. Links are in the show notes below, so make your way to Patreon right now and help support the show and feast your ears on something very special. Welcome to episode 2 of Buried Beneath, a D&D's for nerds adventure. I'm Joel Zamet and I'll be playing the part of Shane Null. I'm Michael Shanks, I'll be playing the role of Squim Norton. I'm Jackson Bailey, I'll be playing the part of Anton Desaussières. And I'm Adam, your dungeon master.

Previously. The three of you are working as mercenaries for a tiefling archaeologist. Well, I'm Shane Noll. My name is Anton Desaussier. There are a lot of dragons where we are. Somebody boned one. Now I've got magic. Shrek drinks this potion that makes him, like, perfect.

He becomes a human. Fiona becomes a human again. Donkey becomes a hawk. G'day. My name's Squim Norton. That's right, Norton. You'll know of me from my long lineage of the Norton family. Lilup sounds like a girl's name, right? All right, Lilup's a girl. I don't mind.

An ancient elven burial ground of some sort. I need you to help me. Shall I order us some drinks? The three of you are sitting in the coiled leaf, poring over the map of your target, a long, disused elven tomb. I take gloom aside just so no one else can hear, and I'm like, hey, Lilip's here, right?

Yeah, Lilip, a little elven thing. And I'm like, look, this is an ancient elven tomb. It's not lost on me that you've hired an elf and a half-elf. And I'm just letting you know, I'm not really into the whole elven tomb it's not lost on me that you've hired an elf and a half elf and i'm just letting know letting you know i'm not really into the whole elven thing i like i'm kind of self-loathing in that but if lilith's maybe a little you know if he's gonna think like this is two or she doesn't matter i'm cool very open-minded she's gonna be like oh this is my people i don't want to like bury like dig into their tombs like i can take care of her it's fine it's okay i see

how much money you got was uncomfortable that you took him aside when you mentioned killing another member of the party he positively bulks you see him start sweating bullets hey we're mercenaries all i'm saying is sand don't come for free maybe maybe you've seen a tiefling before they're not exactly common they're quite rare actually but the image of a feminine hell boy sweating bullets and umming and erring is quite startling to you i'm picturing woody ellen Oh, gosh. You're right. There's no greater podcast moment than when four people all burst into Woody Allen impressions. And nobody says a word. Everyone just goes.

And that's all he says. He doesn't say a response. He just seems terrified that you would suggest this. I have a very dry swallow. Oh, God. He doesn't say anything. He just gestures back to the table. Do you suppose they're talking about?

I guess maybe. Shannon. Shane? Shane. Shane. Oh, all right. I don't know. I reckon maybe something to do with the.

Banquet? I point at the table, and then I just move up to where the map was, where I'm guessing a pile of dates is resting on. No, no, under the date. Shift the dates towards me? While this has been happening, the waitress has been steadily bringing out plates of food. Most of the map, yeah, has been obscured by food.

Yeah, I reckon something to do with that thing there. When Gloom sits back down next to Lilip, he looks at the map and the mess that's getting on the map, and you see him go a little pale in the face. Oh yeah, like

the food would just be staining it. Yeah. Like pick up a date. You want one? Liv, eat, gloom. I put it on his leg in front of him. To be polite, he reaches out and grabs a new date that you have not touched and eats that one. That's right. Eat, enjoy life. Do you think they wash their hands?

I doubt it very much. He's like, why would they? To do what? I don't want their miasma? I don't want their... Miasma. I don't want to catch anything. Do I know what a miasma is? Do I know what a miasma is?

Just make a science roll in D&D. I'll be right. I'll be blue again. I'll be black. My process of elimination. Oh, wow. Good, you got black. So, you two are unaware of what miasma could possibly be.

You, however, not. Oh, hang on. You know what? I didn't write down your full name. Squib. Squib. Squib. With an M for forthcoming.

And Jackson, what was your first name? Anton. Anton de Saussure. Which just means Anton the Sorcerer. And that's all right. That's sick Squim you're the only one

who's possibly done any studying in their entire life naturally and you have heard of miasma it's a lot of

very learned people believe that sickness is this is bad air basically the bad air that comes off

sick people and you know that when he says I don't want to catch their miasma or anything like that he's worried that the miasma will comes off sick people and you know that when he says i don't want to catch their miasma or anything like that he's worried that the miasma will come off a sick person onto the dates and he will eat the miasma and get sick himself and get sick himself yeah of course i know this i'm norton i'm very anti-virus i mean yeah i sort of planted seeds for that joke before we started rolling. I thought full disclosure.

Gloom waits for you guys to be done with your meal. Do you eat anything other than sand, by the way? I'm going to just say no. My favorite thing is that I actually don't need to eat. I was about to say, you don't need to eat. Get the stove. But, hey! It's going straight to your hips.

It's fine. I'm already a little overweight. Eventually, the meal concludes. And Gloom has been waiting very patiently. Shifts whatever he can out of the way. And that's very little, because a lot of this meal was messy. And he does not want to touch that. Fair.

And once he's shifted it out of the way, he explains, out of the way. He explains, so I had... We'll actually be meeting one of my students there, actually. I sent him ahead with some other mercenaries. He's

gone off to set up a dig site, so we can begin uncovering. The place will be covered in sand, he says. Hey, that will be good for you, Scrim. Hungry boy. Shouldn't have filled up. So it's an ancient burial

elven. There's very little information on this location. We don't actually know what it probably is. Sorry, sorry. We don't know exactly what it is, but we know it's probably a burial. The elves don't record their burial grounds because they're afraid that they'll be dug up. So they were afraid that they would.

Funnily enough, that is happening. Rightfully so, you think. This is a branch of elves who have long since passed away. No elves here at this table would be related to any of the elves from here. Or so we think. There's no reason for any hostilities.

Yeah, why would there be? I don't understand. Lilip, her face is just this stone blank sheet. None of you can read. But it always is. So we're just going to find bodies?

No, no, no. 50,000 years, there'll be no bodies. Skeletons. Not even skeletons. Skeletons. Dust. Do you think? Well, I suppose the natural cycle of any creature is alive.

Skeletons. Ghosts. Followed by ghost skeletons. Yes. Well I suppose The natural cycle Of any creature Is alive Skeleton Ghost Followed by ghost skeleton Yes Or perhaps a zombie Or See I always assumed It was like alive Yes

Then you die And then you have a skeleton But no Zombie And then you kill the zombie Then you have a skeleton And then you have a skeleton And a ghost

At the same time So Who has a thousand yards of hair right now. In our travels, we have been through dungeons and burials before, I'm assuming. And in them, I fought skeletons. But I always wonder, was this skeleton so hostile in his life? Or is it only upon death that he decides to attack me with a rusty sword? Yeah, because I always figured the ghost was the calm one.

And that's why you never fight like the same person as a ghost and a skeleton. You always have an evil version. separate from the body?

Yeah, if you've got an evil When you lose your skin? If you've got an evil skeleton Do you become mean? If you've got an evil skeleton,

you've got a good ghost but if you've got an evil ghost, you've got a good skeleton. This is why I've asked my family to bury me with a lot of weights on my body so that I cannot rise.

Yeah. So I want to be cremated. Simple as that. Then to come back as a skeleton. Do you think the zombies might have disease? Well, they are dying. You don't want to get a zombie to bite you. I mean, that's pretty sure how you become a ghoul.

Gloom, zombieism is a disease. Gloom faints. Gloom faints. He faints. He faints. Fucking hell, Gloom. I pour sand at his mouth. Wake him up. He wakes up immediately.

You're welcome, boss. Please don't do that again. Did you touch that sand? Sand is hygienic. Yeah. Everyone's walking around and it's fine. It is the restroom. Glim gets up and leaves.

The restroom. What, like a bloody outhouse? I turn to the lads and I'm like, so what are we thinking about this mission? We all good? We've been on adventures before, I think. Yes. It's pretty standard stuff. Look, it's standard. We go into this desert.

We go to a tomb and fight the skeletons. There's no way we're related to anybody in this tomb. It's pretty standard. We go into the desert. We go to a tomb, a phantoskeleton. There's no way we're related to anybody in this tomb. It's fine. He's human and I'm a little affluent. I mean, I doubt it. So we come back. We get the reward, which I do not know what it is.

He's promised you all a handsome sum of gold. Have we worked with Lilith before? That's up to you. Well, the mercenaries just run in the same circles. Is it entirely possible? We might have met her in the past. Why not? You might have. Lilip would be fairly new to all of you.

What was Lilip's reputation? And then we will decide. Lilip's reputation is just kind of, she's a good sort of support. Like if we were like, hey, we're going to do this little adventure and we need a blah, does she fill in that blah? She can hold her own in a fight, but she's not a fighter. And is more there for when you get wounded. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I see. Yeah, right here. I'm going to say that, I assume the way that Antoine de Saussure takes jobs is he just accepts all of them and then chooses the most exciting one. So he's like, yeah, I'll do that or that. Then he goes through them. So what you mean to say is

you just accept the most exciting one because if you're accepting all of them but then only taking the exciting one, technically aren't accepting them. That's true. A lot of outstanding sidequests. of them but then i'm taking the exciting one technically aren't accepting them that's that's true again a lot of outstanding side quests i'll get back to this yeah if i look at my side quest list there's like miscellaneous just yeah it's like your reputation is terrible i feel like he's good on the ones he goes on but like you better make it sound good. It's just in the fucking coiled league. That's what you are.

I've just decided that this one is worth my time. Hey, 50,000-year-old- That sounds like it's going to be a blast. Yeah. This is basically my gap year, so all right. Are we going now? Is that the understanding? Well, Gloom's in the bathroom. I'll? Well, Gloom's in the bathroom.

I'll be 22. Gloom's in the bathroom. Gloom hasn't exactly entirely outlined his plan just yet. So just whilst he's away, I'm like, hey, so we trust in our boss? Are you getting a good vibe from him? He looks like a mess, Phil. I mean, he's got his ways. He's clearly not strong enough to take us down if he wants to pull anything.

I've got a good feeling about that. We can trip him up. We can throw a grape at him and he'll melt'll melt exactly we need to only but touch him and we'll be okay like we don't we probably don't need to spit in his face i like that lilip is just spitting i'll gesture to a spit in his face lilips and says, I doubt he could take us in a fight. Yeah. He's definitely going to pay us. It's going to be. He seems rich, I will say. Paid for the oatmeal. I was going to, but

then eat it. That was lucky. Unless it's an act, she says, just as an afterthought. Nah, he seems pretty on the level. I trust him implicitly. As I trust everyone. Hooray! Hooray! More wine! More wine is brought over. as I thrust every hooray hooray more wine more wine

is brought over I drink you're getting raucously drunk aren't you I'll have to remember that for later

I nurse a wine cup all right to live in the moment carpe diem as soon as

the new wines are poured gloom he sits down and starts explaining. Past the sauce stain there. I'm not put up with a finger. Past the sauce stain there, we'll take us about roughly five days,

and that's roughly halfway. So while this journey has only been taken once before by a surveyor who first found the location he he estimated two weeks but I think we can do it in ten days sure you're sure you're coming yeah yes yes yes of course there's all right there'll be seals placed upon this burial site. Oh, oh, seals? We're in the desert. There are no seals in the desert. No, no, no, no, no.

A magical seal. And I'll... Oh, oh, seal! There, there. The seals are magic. I like when he's like, no, no, no, a magical seal. You're like, oh, yes, still a seal, but a magical one. I guess that's how they survive in the desert.

Yeah, so magic. No, it's not an animal. It's a magical placed upon the tomb. Oh, like a seal. Yeah, right. Sorry, I just went. We are with you now. Because of my high intelligence and wisdom, I've just been shaking my head through the whole seal discussion.

Fuck, I hope so. I am aware. I'm pretty clever, but still an idiot. That's just yuck. A good description of me. Yes, I'll need to be there to break these seals, to get through the magical enchantments laid upon this place do we have like uh horses yes i will not horses no no but camels i will be providing us with camels

magnificent all the equipment we will need i love camels no other animals spit in your face what no llamas do you mate. I do not know what a llama is. Oh, good. No, no, no,

camels do it as well. Yeah, camels do it as well. Camels are a filthy animal. Can we get ones that don't do that? Can we get a muzzle? You can.

Sure. I'll buy muzzles. Are we editing out today? Tomorrow. Tomorrow. No, we'll want to head out tomorrow

when we've all had a chance to rest. No, I'm... If we're not heading out now, we might as well... I'm going to go get a room. He gets up and leaves. I drink raucously into the night. Will I be hungover in the morning? Yes.

I just sit in the bar and phase out because i'm immune to sleep so i just you just trance in the bar yeah i just have like the waitress comes over and nudges you and says no trancing in the bar please and i say you'll need to purchase a room if you want to stay the night i would say i'll buy the room but i'm sleeping here. Except I'm not sleeping. I'm sitting. The waitress considers that and she's like, well, that's okay, I guess. I guess you paid. Still coming out of Gloom's place.

I assumed my wine was as well. Yeah, I did. Everything you guys do tonight is paid for by Gloom. I buy all the other rooms in the hotel to fill with nobody else. Gloom does not have enough money for that okay uh damn i don't he's working right now on a on a university grant that's the best i have money i'm doing okay i got like letting you know that because it's

he's got a limited amount of money whatever you you can buy as much wine as you want but this is technically coming out of what he's paying you. Yeah, that's true. Oh, damn. No, that's what I would have bought anyways. I was going to buy wine anyway. In fact, it's diluted by four, so you come out on top. Yeah, I know.

It's good. Is there anything else in this town to do? Yeah. Do you like cattle? Because if so, there's a lot that you can get done. Like what? Go see some cattle. But there's a lot of them.

So I can just go sightseeing and looking at cows. Yeah, that's all right. That's pretty fun. Just go to bed early. Cow tipping? Yeah, so nothing else. All right. Cows in the desert.

Wow. It probably wouldn't be. It'd be like camels. Yeah. Not quite like desert. You're not in. Yeah, you're in plains right now. You're not in the desert yet. Well, I will go to bed early so I can get up even earlier and practice my sword stuff.

I want to say sword play, but that kind of sounds like gross and sexy. I think it's still sword play. Is it sword play? Exercises. Exercises. say sword play, but that kind of sounds like gross and sexy. I think it's still sword play. Exercises. Sword techniques. There we go. I like to imagine getting drunk as you trance. Like around you and still talking as though you're not trance.

And then, you know, when she comes to the town, she says, Oh, where is Anton? And I say, Mama, you have to hide me under the floor because, you know, her brothers, they were coming and they said, we will lynch you, Anton, because you have hurt a little sister. And I said, oh, you know, when my mother, she says, Anton. And I'm just like,

Eventually you get cut off. I fall asleep in the bar unless they shuffle me up to the room. Then they pass out. They don't. So I sleep. So we're just kind of yeah we're the two magic boys magic boys having a nap in a bar all right lads i'm off to bit you guys are yeah right magical beautiful boys having a snooze in the book yeah that's the mantra i recite while i'm in a truck beautiful boys having aze in the bar. Yeah, figured it out. That's the mantra I recite while I'm in a trance. Beautiful boys having a sleep in the bar. No, I'm enthusiastically like, ah!

I'll sing along. Yeah, you're a... You fellas have a good time. Anyway. Have a lovely week. Have a lovely week. The next day rolls around. Anton, you have a stiff neck Have a lovely week The next day rolls around Anton, you have a stiff neck and a hangover

Good morning I come out of my trance like Magical beauty Morning Morning magic boys, how you going? Beautifully Is there like a trough of water I can dunk my head in? You go outside and do that.

There's plenty of sand. Just dunk my head in the sand. Ah. Soak it all up. Refreshing. I'll dunk my head in a trough full of water for the camels. You'll meet up again outside with Lilip and Gloom. Gloom has, as part of his morning ritual,

gone out and gotten some mules and the best muzzles that money can buy. All right. And has saddled them all up. Do you mean mules or camels? Camels, sorry. Yeah, my mistake. So there's six camels in total, one for each of you, plus one that is just laddened down with your supplies.

I'll find a camel, jump on, chuck my rooster in one of its pockets so I don't have to carry it. That rooster work you up this one. That's not a rooster noise. That's this one's noise. That's like prep. That's like preschool bullshit that you learn.

Roosters go cock-a-doodle-doo, I know. What the fuck goes brap brap brap Like a military horn Yeah like the last post Fuck I hope my jacket just does the last post Ravelry

That's a real well Sounds like Sounds like almost a duel of Fates then for a sec. Classic Romeo. That's a good rooster. Anyway, help on them camels. Off we go. That's Lawrence of Arabia, this shit.

I'm guessing we're dressed up in Lawrence like, yeah, Lawrence of Arabia gear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I imagine myself like a tan wizard's robe, dusty, sort of like, what do you call it, like when the hem of a robe is, like, fraying? Yeah, nice. Like, yeah, real desert-y. Lilip has provided you with some basic loose-fitting clothes

that you can wear. I don't have my chainmail on. About to say, you probably should take that off. Oh, it's awful. Clever. You have it just in a pouch on your camel. The first day is spent just going from plains to desert, and then by the second day,

you guys start to really feel the heat. So I'm going to start rolling for heat strike. Uh-oh. Bullshit. Did none of us bring umbrellas? I assumed you would have. Could I have brought a parasol? Yes, you can.

A parasol strung over my shoulder as I ride the camel. To keep the heat away. You said oh, al dente of you. Oh, wait. I didn't give you a chance to check the colours. I'll be light blue. I'll be red. I'll be black. You said Oh Al dente of you Oh wait I didn't give you a chance to check I'll be light blue

I'll be red I'll be black Black is your heart Everyone says Al dente Parasol What are you? A princess?

Well I'm a very very shaded princess If I'm a princess Oh He was red again sorry? Oh I was Oh right You got the heat stroke I don't like the sounds of that

Oh no He's like you with your parasol With your four eyes Spewing rainbows I don't Oh fuck he's hot Fuck it's hot Or is it cold

He's real cold I feel like I got a chump Why am I riding This lizard Where were we going Oh we had camels A lizard cold. It's real cold. I feel like I've got to jump. Why am I riding this lizard? Where are we going? Oh, we had camels. This ain't right. This ain't right.

This ain't right at all. I don't like that. Is that a bunion? No, no. I'll tackle him. No, no, no. It's weird. You're like, Adam rolled for heatstroke,

and then he starts looking through his notes, as though it's like, it's amateur heatstroke, the game is ruined. I've got to jump ahead. I'm looking through my notes trying to figure out like is there a way i can like avoid that and i'm like i don't think a crossbow is gonna help what if i chill touch myself to shoot the sun all good all right he's cold and refreshed By the end of the day Before the sun goes down On the second day Shane and Squim You both begin to feel the desert heat

Beating down on you You probably envy Anton With his parasol I am unimaginably smug I shouldn't have eaten that sand My mouth's so dry Shane you will take A temporary two points of damage And Shane, you will take a temporary two points of damage, and Squim, you'll take a temporary one point of damage.

Nice. But the damage goes away when the... Don't bother writing it down, because the damage goes away when the sun goes down. So because it happened right at sunset, you were both fine. Fuck. You take the damage, but then the sun goes down,

and you're like, in the night, you come back. Could I cook up some food for dinner? On like a small, like, trail stove? Gloom has provided you guys with food. Oh, well, we'll just eat that. In little sealed carry bags. Scroggin? What?

Scroggin. Oh, yeah, like the trail raft and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scroggin? Scroggin? I pretend that, yeah, I know what Scroggin is. It's from the Scottish word scrotum. Oh, right. Meaning nut bag. trail ration stuff. Scrogon? I pretend that, yeah, I know what Scrogon is. It's from the Scottish word scrotum.

Oh, right. Meaning nut bag. Is that for real? No. Sounds like it could. I was almost, I was convinced, like,

all right. It's just this little, have you ever heard of trail mix? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it's trail mix. It's not a word for trail mix. Scrogon.

You guys have just been eating these little, basically, rations of llama spread? That sort of shit? Classic. Some fucking Lord of the Rings bullshit or whatever? What would be like a desert-like treat? Like honey locust-esque? Oh, Turkish delight.

Oh, man, yeah. Probably more elven delight. Elven delight. I'm gonna sell my whole family for some Turkish delight. I'd sell my whole family to a snow queen that fucking kid remember in life what the fuck

like not even a good candy yeah maybe for a crunchy bar yeah if she was like Turkish delight for the rest of your life she was like here's some

and there's more where that came from I like some rosy fucking jelly, thanks. Oh, could it be like covered in a lot of flour? Yeah, a little sugary dust. Oh, no, that's fantastic. I would. I would have sold my family.

I'm on that kid's side. Fuck. Derek's life's delicious. Anyway, so the Snow Queen pours up. Yes. You got a deal, ma'am. I think he was offered more stuff. I think he was like,

and plus you can rule Narnia. I think he had already said yes by the Turkish light. I think she felt bad and has just a gesture. She was like... And also you can rule Narnia, I guess. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That too is real good. Sure, I'll take it. The third day goes significantly worse than the second. So this time you will actually... If you want, I can record it. The third day goes significantly worse than the second. So this time you will actually, if you want, I can record your damage for you. But Shane, your hit points are down by four. That heat's getting us. Anton, your hit points are down by two.

Not too bad. Oh, no, wait. And Squim, your hit points are unchanged. Oh, nice. You're the only one who isn't feeling the desert heat right now. I'm just going to get a rag, get some water on that rag. Yeah. Kind of tie it around my neck.

I was born in the desert. I'll go red. Green. I love my ribs making me very hot. Wizards have a lot of layers. All three of you, roughly at the same time, spot a feature in this featureless desert. Mon dieu!

You can see sticks or something like that poking out of the sand at extreme distance. You can barely make out what it is. You're amazed you can kind of make out that it's burnt wood. Hold up, holdap, Eldap. We will go investigate. You stay here, Gloom. You mean Lilip to come with as well?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's part of the bloody team. I just don't want to leave Gloom by himself. He's the money. All right, everyone, let's go. It's the classic problem that we face here in D&D. If you guys go, the wolf will eat Gloom. Exactly.

If you send the wolf off, Gloom won't pay you. And then the chicken will eat the grain. Exactly. How do you get from one to the other? Yeah, I guess he won't pay us, but also, like, he doesn't look like he can hold himself enough. No, no, he's fine. And worse than him getting killed, he might't pass, but also, like, he doesn't look like he can hold himself enough. No, no, he's fine. And worse than him getting killed, he might get looted.

I hope you're not being subtle about this conversation. Like, yes, no, no, hang on, what? But let's just go ahead. We'll head on to the sticks. All together? Yeah. All right, cool. I assume still Gloom is probably up the back of your formation.

Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Up the front. Are you staying mounted as well on your camel? Yeah, I assume so. Until we get like, well, do we say we stay mounted until we get like maybe 10 meters away, hop off, go on foot?

Nah, stay mounted. Is it nighttime? It's daytime. Okay. Kind of middle of the day. I'm hopping off. I don't want to be on my camel when whatever is going to happen happens.

You guys stay on your camel. Yeah, I'm going to get off too. All right. But just like sexually. Get off on the camel's back. No. I'm going to get off too. Just like sexually. Get off on the camel's back. No, I'm not going to do that. I'm just getting off the camel. Oh, really?

That's a pity. Everyone would have been impressed. The first time for everything. You got a 20 on that, Roy. Everybody gets off via like osmosis Oh my god Desert orgasms For the game Oh that was sensual

Um Nah I'll get close to it And you hop off Like you know Yeah ten metres from the Yeah like ten metres Just leave the camels So that

Like we're attacked The camels don't die too Yeah yeah So yeah Gloom Stay with the camels We'll just It's I reckon we leave Lillip

With Gloom as well Just to Watch you know Fair enough She can protectom as well, just to watch. Fair, she can protect. Just to watch. Just watch me get off this camel. I have a feeling she would have been impressed. Everyone would have been impressed.

The camels. Camels would not have been impressed. We'll head up to the burnt space. If anything happens, then she can protect gloom. Yeah, sounds good. When to the burnt space Yeah, if anything happens, then she can protect Gloom Yeah, sounds good When you get closer, you notice that this is the burnt and charred remains of several wagons You can see bodies half buried in the sand And they're all black and twisted

As if they themselves have also been burnt Touch the wood, see how hot it is Oh, wise You touch it and it's warm to the touch But you don't know if it's any... Yeah, you don't know if that's just the heat from the desert. I touch the sand next to it and do a bit of comparison. I look at the bodies and see if I can identify the race of the victims.

Oh, I'll also let you know that the caravan, or the charred out remains of the caravan, is sort of sprayed around this mound, or there's kind of a sand dune in the middle of it and at the top of the sand dune it looks like dirt has been turned over into the sand i'll investigate that i'll put on my chain mail armor that's gonna take you one minute i figured i was gonna have time before jackson did something no are. Are you going to wait? If he's putting on his chainmail, I'd be like,

I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait. I say you even maybe started doing it on the way here. It's like on the back of the camel being like... All right, magic boys. Can everyone just chill? I reckon it's ambush, so everyone get prepared. Squim, you check the bodies. They appear to be a bunch of different races. You spot a dwarf, an elf,

and a bunch of things that are just so charred it's actually impossible to tell i'll call over to gloom what was your uh student my my student he was he was an elf yeah what was he do you think you found him yeah let me uh i mean maybe he had a gold tooth Gold tooth he said I check the teeth of the elf Yeah One of the elven bodies Has a golden tooth Don't even try and hide it I think he was good

Gloom faints Oh no He takes damage Oh man Lilith has to get off and start helping him. You're not knocked out. What a dickhead. I understand some people aren't built for fighting,

but that's just... That's just not fair existing. What manner of villain or creature are our heroes facing? Find out next time on Buried Beneath, a D&D is for Nerds adventure. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website,

sanspantsradio.com Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content, Thanks for watching. plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.