D&D is For Nerds - Buried Beneath #20 The Gloom

Episode Date: May 27, 2017

In which our heroes find Gloom. Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets for our UK tour right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradio Want to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradio Or individually at;Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeJackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadShanks: twitter.com/timtimfedZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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and follow us on Facebook and Twitter for the most up-to-date information. Welcome to the final episode of Buried Beneath, a D&D is for Nerds adventure. This is great because it means I don't have to hang out with Adam anymore. I'm Michael. I'll be playing the role of Squim Norton. I'm Joel. I'll be playing the part of Shane Noel.

I'm Jackson. I'll be playing the part of Anton DeSorcia. Are you all right, Adam? I'm Adam. I'm very hurt. Previously. There's a light in the distance. I can see everything by that light.

Does Hellboy 2, The Golden Army on HD DVD glow? A human could bear it for a while. It's freezing down there. It's very cold. Oh, wait. Do you have handle animal? Romeo is just a chicken. I land like a badass and say,

keep your eyes peeled for that slippery fuck from before. I thought you were going to be like, I land and be like, keep the change. Can I do that again? Yeah, sure. So I need to know what everyone's height and weight are. A very familiar looking black glove poking out of the sand. You are standing on Romeo.

After a couple moments, the unstableness of the chicken, because he's struggling and stuff like that, just stops. We should push down on our possessions. We could take, we've got backpacks full of shit, right? Maybe this is just meant to kill people. You have very negative thoughts. Taking whatever belongings you have left, you try to stuff them beneath you as stepping stones in an endless sucking sand. Shane, you lose the bedroll. Dang.

Oh, that's a shame. Scrim and Anton, you both gain a foot. Hey, does that mean I'm up? Yep, you're out of the sand, both of you. Oh, sweet. Super good, guys. Hey, mate, well... Yeah, this happens. Sorry. Ah, it's fine. Hey, you got other stuff to

push down? Yeah, just a backpack, Neil. Is it the kind of thing where we turn around and just Into the sand again Here, I'll use my backpack Alright It's all about creating surface area Just the backpack? All I have is a water skin, a flint and steel and my backpack

Can I really use flint and steel? Ah, yeah, fair, fair, fair Alright, you put yourself up a foot Does that mean he's only four feet under? Yep I'll throw you my backpack Ah, yeah, fair, fair, fair. All right, you put yourself up a foot. Does that mean he's only four feet under? Yep. I'll throw you my backpack. Oh, yeah.

Thanks, mate. Can I use my composite longbow? Probably not. There's not enough mass to it. If I threw him my backpack, do I lose all my possessions? What do you have in your backpack? If you can carry it on your person, then you're fine. Right. Can I go through and say what I got? Yeah, go for it.

I got two wands. Yep. You could just tuck those into your pants. Flint and steel. Back pocket? Yeah, pocket. Grappling hook? Hook it into your back pants. Yeah, you could hook that on. I could tie that kind of around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like a bandolier. Three torches. Torches I could tie that kind of around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. Yeah, yeah.

Like a bandolier. Three torches. Torches are going to be kind of hard. Tuck them into your pants. Torches are too long and heavy. You could tie them in with a rope, I'd say. Well, are they long and heavy torches? Yeah.

I throw them a torch. It lasts an hour. One, two, three. All three? I throw them one for now. We'll see how we go. We'll try a torch. You probably won all three. All right, three torches.

I throw him three torches. See how that can get me out. But first I do a little bit of juggling just to impress him. Now, I clap, but my hands are not good. So you're using the backpack and three torches? Yeah. All right. Anything else?

No, we'll see how that goes for now. All right. I mean, like, anything else that you need to carry. Oh, no, because I'm not throwing the backpack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm using his backpack and three torches. You don't get any height. You just push it down.

Man. Just go on. Losing them in the sand. What about my heavy steel shield? You could use that. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, losing the shield. That'd be good as well.

Yeah, I'm going to do that. All right. You got your armor as well. I think that would be, like, six feet of good. I'm going to use my shield and my armor if I can. Using your shield, you gain another foot. Nice. I've only got three down.

Yeah, three left. Well, look, for now, do you want... Hang on. I've still got Lilip's half plate. You do what? You bloody do. Lose it to the sand. So I'm going to lose two sets of armor.

Are you using the Lilip's armor first? Yep. Yeah, you gain another foot. And I'm going to use my chainmail. Can I say, I see you're using your chainmail. You can still move. You're only one foot down. I'm two feet.

Well, I suppose it's pretty incumbent. Oh wait, and I guess my backpack. Do you want to use it? I'll use it. Never mind. I only have a lot of things to throw you. I only have a portion of... I think it'll help me. I don't think I have anything left. It doesn't even help to throw you in my pocket full of sand.

I can throw you that old syringe we found. You still haven't used that, have you? Let's finish the quest and just the final thing we do is use that syringe. I just jab it into my arm. And we finally did it. Yeah, all right. I'll leave the chainmail on then and I'll use that next time I'm sinking. I bet the syringe is some fucking impervious to sinking in sand.

No, no, no. Use it, though, because it would be funny if you used it now. I don't like that. Funny for me. Oh, no, it might help you, though. because it'd be funny if you used it now. I don't like that. Funny for me. Oh, no, it might help you, though. Or you might be like, I wish I'd saved this. Or you might be like, I wish I injected that.

You were going to inject something earlier. What was it? It was an enemy. You're like, let's inject the enemy. I do remember that. Oh, man, I wish you'd done that. Oh, that would have fucked you guys good. I'm confused about this magic. Yeah. All right., I wish you'd done that. Oh, that would have fucked you guys good. I'm confused about this magic syringe. I'll tell you some other time.

All right, we'll wade to the light. I'm going to say you're going to try to move from corpse to corpse, and your idea was to push them down. Yep. All right, so it's going to... Well, actually, I'm going to give you the choice so to go straight to the light i will only need to roll once so in one roll you can get to the light or you can move from corpse to corpse and it takes you three rolls but it gives you that safety net risk it for the

biscuit i'm gonna do one roll all right anyone else yeah one roll'm going to do one roll. Alright. Anyone else? Yeah, Wenru. One roll? One roll. One roll. Alright. One roll. That's what it's all about. Gloom's going with you guys then. So we didn't... No, Gloom! We didn't get Gloom out of the sand, did we? Gloom's only a foot in. He's fine. Shane, you go first. Heise or Lowe's? Heise.

Alright. Anton? Heise. Heise. Scrimp? All right. Anton? Highs. Squim? Highs. And anyone for Gloom? Lows. Lows.

Okay. Shane? Ye. You, I forget which one you said, but you were good. Highs. Squim? You said highs, and I got lows. So, you're going to sink.

Gloom. You said lows. Gloom got lows. Squim. You said highs. Anton, yeah. Anton, sorry. You said highs.

And gosh golly, if I didn't roll 100. Oh, boy. Oh, shit. You're fine. If you were a foot in, I Oh, boy. Oh, shit. You're fine. If you were a foot in, I would have put you a foot out. I just sprint across the scene. Anthony is fine. But Squim and Gloom both...

Oh, sorry. Squim sinks a foot. It's fine. Just a foot, man. You get to the source of the light. The source of the light... Wait, all of us get there? Yes, all of you get there.

The source of the light is this ancient and heavy looking sarcophagus sitting at the peak of one of these sand dunes what i say demon thing hey it throws you inside this sarcophagus is has this massive massive crack going down through it so it's completely open and exposed. And the top part of the sarcophagus, the lid, is slightly ajar. From this crack, slowly but unendingly, sand is spilling out. You can see into the sarcophagus. There's nothing in there but sand. From at least where you can see through the crack. Can I see any writings, markings on the sarcophagus that I might recognize? The sarcophagus has no markings on it other than the visage of an elf carved onto the lid.

Well, Gloom, may I present to you Gloom. Gloom's here. Yeah, yeah. There it is. This is Gloom. This is the Gloom. We found the Gloom. We found it.

Gloom reaches out and puts a hand on it. As he does that, you all see do you know what i think it's called desiccation when all the water is drained from the thing that's desiccated that happens to gloom oh jesus oh my goodness uh monday gloom collapses backwards he's dead okay well it's better than I'm turning into a demon. That's my bright side of life. Look at this. Everybody does a silver lining. Wait, so he's just dehydrated to death.

All the water is gone. I'd like to just scan around for any other landmarks. Is it just us on top of this little hill with a sarcophagus? You can't see anything around you guys, but you do notice that a lot of the, you specifically, Anton, you notice that the face, the hand, all the little bits and odds and ends, they start shifting and moving. Wait, the corpses.

Yep. They're coming back. Somebody chop off this one's head, Gloom's head. All right. In these arms and legs in case he's going to come back. Not too bad. Just like shit, shit, shit. I'd like to smash his legs up with my morning star.

All right, you break Gloom's body. Detect magic. I can't. I try. I detect magic, but I'm still in a... There's no magic. You can't cast the spell even. What the fuck is this? We have to wait for the urks. The urks will come down and save us.

Oh no, Adam's farting. Fuck you. Let me have a little gravitas, you son of a bitch. Adam, is there... Oh, fuck. Is there room in the sarcophagus? Wait, what did he touch? What did he touch?

He touched the lid of it. The lid. He touched the lid. How ajar is it? Was he wearing gloves? It's pretty ajar. You could slip in if you wanted to. So he was wearing gloves, yeah?

Yeah. And it still got him. Yeah. Shit. Is there sand inside? Yeah, it's filled with sand. On on the floor it's filled with sand so i could conceivably slip inside without touching it yeah and just stand on the sand so what are you trying so imagine so you get the base of the sarcophagus yeah yeah yeah that's full of that's sandy yeah yeah so that's sand that's of the sarcophagus, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's full of... That's sandy. Yeah, yeah. So that's sand that's not the sarcophagus itself.

Yeah. Okay. So if I slide in... You want to lie in the sarcophagus on the sand. I just want to stand there. Oh, is it on the ground? It's flat. Yeah, yeah, the sarcophagus is laying on the ground.

I'm also picturing it like a golem. Standing. No, no, no, it's lying on the ground. Oh, well, still, if I slid inside and just lay in the sand, then they couldn't get me without touching it. How big is it? The sarcophagus, it's roughly elf-sized, so slightly smaller than a human.

Oh, sorry, I was picturing like a skyscraper sarcophagus. Oh, no, no, no. So it's a sarcophagus that is, like, it's there in the sand, and in the side of it is a crack. Yep. I could draw a thing for you if you want. Because if I get in, what is there? What if it's, like, the control room for all these corpses?

They're, like, getting in the sarcophagus as, like, being in the driver's seat of, like like a swarm of reanimated things. Then I can go upstairs and fight the orcs. Yeah, that'd be sick. Maybe I'll give that a go. I just think... So kind of like this, Adam. Yeah.

So for side view, you've just got like... Something like that. All right. Yep, yep, yep. So basically there's a surface lying down. There's a big crack in the middle. Is there anything... Can we look inside the crack?

There's sand. It's a big crack in the middle. Is there anything... Can we look inside the crack? There's sand. It's filled with sand. Nothing else. The sand is slowly spilling out. Can I grab the water skin that I have and just pour it on the sarcophagus? The water disappears as it touches the sarcophagus. Just drop the water skin. Water skin's already got no water in it So nothing happens to it

But the water skin You drop the actual matter Onto the air I'd say it ages instantly Oh okay If I pour the water in the sand in the sarcophagus Like where the lid is ajar It seems fine

The bodies are slowly rising out of the sand I climb in, doing my very best not to touch the sarcophagus itself, only the sand within. You feel awful. As soon as you're, like, halfway in, you feel absolutely like your life force is slowly being drained from you. Squim and Shane. Anton ages like years were seconds.

You're aging real old, mate. Get back out. I'm going to get you to roll a dexterity check to get out quickly. I'll take my time. I'll take the age. You will literally take your time. I'll take the age to take my time. All right.

You age. Oh, God. 47 years. Mate. Everybody. my time. Alright, you age Oh god. 47 years. Mate. Everybody. That was a mistake. So the aging rules.

Uh oh, what have I done? You take penalties to your physical stats. Yep. But you get bonuses to your mental stats. Oh, that's good. But you didn't live the years to get those bonuses. Yeah. I just get the negs. That's fine. Of course, though.

So I want to just give you the penalties. That would be fair. Like, Halfling, they're not a sprightly race. You take negative three to your strength, dex, and constitution, and that is permanent forever. What? How many years did I age? 40?

40. 47. So I'm currently 40, 50, 60, 70, 79. But what's that in halfling? Like, what's that equivalent? Halflings live long. Your strength is six? Bilbo is 111.

Yeah. Strength is six. That's fucked. Strength is six. That's fucked. At negative three. What's your health hit points now? Like four? Your dexterity is twelve.

Okay. Your constitution. Well, it would be nine if it weren't for the fact that you also lost another 2 points Otherwise if you'll recall Yeah Negative 2 to that So that means

Your hit point total is 10 Oh god And you are currently on 7 hit points God damn it And then when If you survive Another level loss because of the chick and ah good um does do any of us have any quest items are we missing something obvious

do we have like a crack shaped piece of sarcophagus that we need to plug into this thing does anybody have anything gloom's words echo back to you through time. Maybe this is just meant to kill people. Yeah, maybe we're not meant to be here, which is kind of like, to be honest, maybe good. Hang on. This is meant to kill people, so it's still protecting something. So whatever it's, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They didn't just bury this, or did they? Anton, you're probably somewhere in the range, somewhere between 75 and 100 years old. Christ. You're an old bitch. Right now, after that thing that happened to you. Yeah, but you are right.

There must be something. At 100 years old, you start needing to worry about dying of old age. I was always worrying about dying of old age, Adam. Really? Because of all the fears that you should have had, dying of old age is probably not one of them. You're right, there must be something. So, like, if this is...

So, everything here was to protect whatever was down here, but I don't know if they were just protecting this or were they protecting something else? Something lower. Or were they trying to just stop this from getting out because this is just... It's already cracked. Like, what?

Because this is anti-magic. There's no magic here. Is the sarcophagus causing this? What the fuck is going on? Hit the sarcophagus causing this? Or what the fuck is going on? Hit the sarcophagus with your sword It's a pretty commonly known fact Yeah That the desert you guys are in did not always exist

It just suddenly happened one day And the elves died out when it happened So this caused it Mixed deserts. This desert is very different to the dry gulch. The dry gulch the halflings happily live in, but this desert just for some reason will not support any type of life. I don't know what is happening.

Do I? Because I'm, like, smart. I'm an intelligent, guy do i suddenly figure it out can we get some like what's it called a spot check uh intelligence check something to be like the fuck brain check squim it's not an unreasonable association to make that because you guys saw murals about the elves war with with the dwarves before, and you know that these elves did not used to live in this unhospitable desert. They used to live in kind of a lush, sandy, not sandy, sorry, a lush, grassy area. But when the desert came, it ended the war with the dwarves,

but the elves also died out because of the desert. It's not unreasonable to believe perhaps that they created this as a weapon to maybe combat the dwarves but the weapon turned not turned against them but was more than they could handle they couldn't stop it and they buried it beneath ear yeah okay and we've or is this the weapon is the sarcophagus a weapon the sarc, that's what I'm assuming. Sarcophagus was designed to destroy the dwarves, but imagine nuclear arms. It bit them in the back as well.

So basically, I'm going to say that we're dead. Yes, but there is a whole bunch of people coming down here. Yes. People who are more competent than us. Yes. Okay? We don't want them finding this. No, that's what I mean.

Like, we need them to stop. We need to stop them coming down here. Yes, we do. And also, we need to probably somehow make this... The dead begin crawling their way towards you. They're at the base of the hill that the sarcophagus is on. This is a rather dire situation We find ourselves in lads

So I'm prepared to I guess we're all prepared to die here Because we have no choice But I guess The idea here is to try and At least stop Whatever this is getting out So how

What if We push with our swords in the morning stars the sarcophagus down the hill, it hits some of the dead, careens into the sand and sinks, the same way we did before? You all right? Would it not just keep making sand?

I'm an old man. The seals have been broken, gentlemen. This thing has been unleashed. So is this just going to now fill up the entire world with sand? I don't want to say yes. This is essentially a boat that is releasing the ocean. That's a very good metaphor. So it's going to float on top and just slowly get... a boat that is releasing the ocean. That's a very good metaphor. Right?

So it's going to float on top and just slowly... So what we need to do, it's a leaking boat. We need to plug the leak. Plug the oil. Look around. Is there literally anything to try and... A lot of corpses that are all moving their way towards you and a lot of... I try and use my wand of burning hands

because I can't draw from my magic but i have a wand is that something when you try to cast from the wand the wand just sort of fizzles out the magic in it is gone as well i inject myself with the syringe it doesn't work now i'm peeting for no reason all right you used it up let me tell you what it was all your stats temporarily this is a temporary it's like taking uh bloody yeah steroids or something like that all your stats temporarily 20 you get like a massive bonuses to attack and damage and stuff like that but afterwards you take severe penalties for a little while you're exhausted from the fast like drugs or something like that.

Magical drugs. You're like, damn. Oh man, if you'd used that on an enemy. How about we try and make it back to the hole we fell down? At least get out of here. Okay. How are we going to re-put the seal? I think we've got to plug it. I don't know how.

Plug it from upstairs. There's still room in this room to fill with sand. I will be long dead before the world is full of sand. Well, you're half right. You will be long dead. So how do we deal with the... You can't plug it. Look, look. I'll get like fucking... I don't plug it. Look. Look.

I'll get like fucking... I don't have anything. I'll take off my shirt. All right. Push it in the hole. What do you think? The thing is the shirt ages. It does.

You don't think... Whatever this is, it's beyond you guys. All we have... You don't think you can stop it. The only option we have is leave. Anton makes a certain amount of logic. I have aged 40 years.

I've become sick. I will not be getting care. I do an intelligence check to figure out my instinct. Is it that I should stay and try and figure this out or run with Anton? Staying here seems to be a lose scenario. I begin hobbling away. You can't see any way

of fixing this. Let's get this. This has been unleashed and you guys don't even know how you'd stop other people from coming down here. Like, maybe you can stop the people upstairs. Maybe. But from speaking with Gloom and from speaking with that halfling,

this is something that people do not understand but want very badly. So they're going to keep coming. We get out of here, okay, and we tell them there was nothing. I quickly loot Gloom's dehydrated and dismembered clothes. Did he have anything? Because now we're not going to get paid our millions. I know, we're not getting any money for this. Why are we sticking around?

Let's get out of here. I think the gloom is going to overtake the world. His backpack is just filled with soap. Okay, filled with soap and cleaning products. Fucking guy. Just soap and cleaning products. We'll slide down the mountain and try and avoid the Zambos And get our way to the hall

Let's get the hell out of here Let's do it Okay, so it'll be two rollers back to the ropes Kill some Zambos and use them to push ourselves up Are you going to stop the fight? No No, no, no, no, no, goodness no I'm so, so weak

So, to get around the Zambos Halloween Magma rod And Prompel Anton, you're going to take a cop I'm sorry So, to get around the Zambos. Halloween. Magma rod. And... Purple. Prumple. Anton, you're going to take a cop. I'm sorry.

You're going to get hit. That's fine. I don't care. I'm hobbling alone. I hope they don't have a grapple attack. I'm going to quickly walk. If I get fucking grappled. Just leave me for dead.

I'm so scared of this room.'m really like oh god i'm on edge what do we do what can we do oh if they kill you you become one because i'm like all right if we get up then i'm guessing over time the sand is going to keep going and it's going to rise and rise and rise and hit that and it's going to keep going it's like global warming you don't think about it. You think, I'll be dead when it happens. Is that something my kids can worry about? I guess.

The ice caps are melting. They have not melted. That's the philosophy here. Adam, please. Good news, Vatnas. Good news. Good news.

You're not dead. Hey. Bad news. As you run past them, one of them grabs you and just absolutely chows down at your neck, tearing out your jugular. You take seven points of damage. I was on seven. Yeah, so you're on zero.

I guess that's the bad news. The bad news is you are staggered, which means that you cannot move at full speed. It will take you 3 rolls to get out, not 2. Is the Zombo still attacking him? No, he can

clear it. Oh, that's good. Alright, highs or lows? Highs. Highs or lows? Lows. Highs or lows? Lows. Squim, you sink a foot, get into the base. Fine, that's

whatever. Now you're sprinting towards the rope. You've passed the zombies and you've taken the damage. You've passed the zombies, sprinting the rope now. Shane? Highs. Anton? Highs. Squim? Lows.

Lows. Shane and Anton both sink one foot. So three for Shane, one for Anton. Squim, you sink two. Oh, fuck. Fuck off.

Fuck off. So how much have I sunk now? You're four feet in by my count. Four feet in, shit. He's four feet health. Am I? You're three for Shane, one for Anton, four for Squim. Oh, shit.

All right. Just keep moving. Are we near? You hit this particularly like soft, soft patch of sand, and you just fall as if you were in water. God damn it. Now, however, Shane and Squim both are at the rope. Anton, you've got to make another roll.

Okay. Blood trailing highs out of my neck. You're two feet down. Head above the sand. A hundred years old. A hundred years old. Jugular removed. Potions that don't work.

Yes. Are we at the ropes? Yeah, all three of you are at the ropes. So, however feet down you are is a penalty on how hard it is to climb. I'm glad I'm little. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Because it seems like a lot, but it's only a neg two. No, no, no, no. It's a neg four. It's negative two. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to take off the chain mail I have. Just leave it. And just push it down.

Can I push with a sword? If you use the chain mail and the sword, I'll make the check easier. No, no, no. Can I use a sword by itself? It's a difficult check. All right. You have to get pretty high, but you can. How about this?

I'll use my chainmail, my sword, and my longbow. All together? All together. All right. You raise a foot, so you're two feet now. I guess it was worth it. Two feet's not too bad. Yeah.

I'm only four. That's a neg four. Anyone else want to push themselves up a little bit? Did you say we're at the ropes? Yeah, you're at the ropes. Can I just grab the rope? Yeah, you can start climbing up. It's a difficult check, though.

You'll be taking negative eight, which means that you have to roll pretty high. In order to not sink further. Oh, to just not get nothing done. I guess i'm trying to use the road just to pull me up like like like not to climb but to get out of the sand so yeah it's difficult but how many feet in you are is makes it very difficult so you could be there would it be less difficult to use my backpack which i still have to push down yep you could uh kill the backpack to give yourself less of a penalty yeah cool i'll kill the backpack but give yourself less of a penalty. Yeah, cool, I'll kill the backpack. Can I just take a 10?

No, because you're under duress right now. Alright. Oh yeah, zombies. I'm like, why? What's gonna... Alright, Squim, you push yourself up a foot, you're three feet in there. Can I take off my clothes? Use them?

I have nothing. With a difficult check, yes. Yeah, but like, is that check easier than no clothes? Any... I guess then it's just like I just lost my clothes. The numbers of it are... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any amount out you are is better than just trying to pull yourself up. Well, I'm two down.

So I might as well. I'll take off my clothes. Give it a go. Strip down to your skivvies. Yep. You get nothing out of it. What about gold? How much gold do you guys have? How much gold do we have? I got 250.

250 is enough for one person. Yeah, I was going to say, do we need Luke more or was that it? We didn't need that much. Just push ourselves down. Don't you wish you'd kept it in bronze and silver now, don't you? Yes. How about my fire necklace?

Can I push that down? Fire necklace does not have nearly enough. I'm going to just start climbing. I'm just going to start trying to get out. Let's get the fuck out of here. No one wants to use the gold? Whatever. I don't give a shit.

You can use the gold. I'll give it a go. Wait, no. You give it a go? Yeah. Give it a hot bloody Jimmy. Nope. You get another foot out. Hey, whatever. And now I'll give it a go why not you give it a go yeah give it a hot bloody Jimmy nope you get another foot out whatever

and now I'll climb cause hey none of us fell for the no I'll keep my gold in this dying well well done for all of us

then good fucking job 69 gold is that enough for anything 69 it's a difficult check but you could 69 gold 8 silver and 7 copper if you want to get rid of? 69? It's a difficult check, but you could...

69 gold, 8 silver, and 7 copper. If you want to get rid of all of it, it's a difficult check. I have 15 gold I can throw to his way. Help him out. All right, that makes the check a little bit easier. I'll throw it in my morning store. No, no, no. Keep the morning store.

We're going to need it. Might need to fight your way out. I'm naked. I'm naked. No sword, nothing. You get another foot out. Hey! Let's get the fuck out of here

Okay Oh god Alright so Time for climbing Here we go No Oh god Anton

Nope Squim Nope The zombies have turned around And they're making their way towards you Bullshit Fuck off Fuck off zombies

I've got I'm gonna call it as Three rounds Three more rounds Until the zombies begin to get to you And you will need to start fighting them Okay With what?

I I I I I use my crossbow To push myself out a little bit more. Okay, because you're a halfling. But that'll be your round.

That's fine. Oh, you're out. I'm out. You're standing on the sand. Yeah. All right. So, Shane. How many down am I?

You're two down. That's all right. I'll try to pick myself up. It's caught. Nope. Squim. Can I push down on my chain shirt? Are you rid of my chain shirt armor?

I'd allow that, yeah. Oh, yeah, my chain mail. Yeah, cool. Let's see. Yeah, you get another foot out. So you're only one foot in. One foot, all right. So you got two turns now

until the zombies reach you. All right. They've actually got a funny name. Hang on. It's a cool name. I like it, but you guys will call it Dom. You guys will bully me when you hear it ashen husks no that's all right makes me think of old fruit but i still like it don't blow smoke up my fucking

ass adam kind of i'm not gonna save you best bong okay so two more rounds uh everyone just want to keep trying to climb yeah i'm I'm going to use my chainmail out. So my chainmail. Did you not already use your chainmail? I used the plate mail. I used Lillip's. He used Lillip's, remember? He used Lillip's armor, and he's got the chainmail.

I'm going to use my chainmail and get out of there. Yep, you're only one foot in. Now I'm naked and have no weapons. Are we all naked? I think so. Anton? I'll climb. I've got no penalties now.

Aside from... You're still gone. God damn it. You're just a bad climber. I know. Squim? I only have one foot, so I'm going to climb. I'm going to try.

Squim! Hey! You're legend! When you're out, you've got spider climb. No. No, I can't use magic. No, but when you're out, you can. Oh, yeah, right.

We'll get magic back Yes That'll be nice What's the point to that Oh you just can cast magic You can just cast The fuck out of these spells I would imagine

If I went up And cast spider climb And came back down You'd lose it I'd be able to Oh would I lose it Well you don't know Where the walls are

So like It might not No I mean like Would I be able to walk on the sand You don't think so Alright okay Yeah Oh on the sand you're saying Yeah But wouldn. All right, okay. Yeah. Oh, on the sand, you're saying?

Yeah. But wouldn't it start to tempt us? But you might lose the spell. Yeah, yeah. Not worth it. But just go. Just go. Just start climbing out.

Just get out. That was another round. Okay, we've got one more round before the zombies come. Shane? I'm going to try and climb. You're up. Oh, God. Okay, everybody, here we go.

I'm coming as well. No. You're up. Oh, God. Okay, everybody. Here we go. I'm coming as well. You needed at least a 10. Yes. You got 19, mate. Thank God. Everyone's up on the ropes. Get the fuck out of here. The zombies are at the ropes, like clawing up to you guys.

They're underneath, kicking them with my foot. My old man foot. My wife back at home, she will be so shocked. I'm kidding, I don't have a wife. What are you doing? I'm everything. You need to climb. Yep, you're midway at the rope.

Anton continues to climb. Anton makes no progress. That's okay. At least I'm not getting eaten by zombies. You're halfway up at the rope Anton Okay Anto makes no progress That's okay At least I'm not Squim You're halfway at the rope Hey Highs or lows

Oh what do you mean Why Highs Highs Oh no Can zombies do that math Oh shit Zombies begin to climb the rope

Fuck off No I don't think so You know how you were kicking down Yeah You're actually kicking at them now because they're right below you, Anton. Fuck off. Bullshit. No thank you. This is garbage. Zombies are magic.

They should not work. Shane, it's your turn. Oh, shit. Are we all on separate ropes? Yes. You had enough ropes. We had Andrew Denton's enough ropes. That's fine. Gloom brought a lot of ropes.

Keep climbing Alright, you're three quarters of the way up Good Anton? Yep God, let me climb You're halfway up I'm like just neck and neck with the zombies You are three quarters of the way up as well

If you guys want to do anything else, by the way. I don't have. What else? If you wanted to try it, like, I don't know. Yeah, if someone was like, I had a dagger, I want to cut the rope. I don't have a dagger of a morning star, which doesn't cut. How's the lows? It hits.

Lows. The zombies make no progress. Thank God. They just mar, mar, mar at each other. They're, like, trying to climb, but they can't. They're stumbling over each other. Alright, Shane. You keep trying to climb.

You make no progress. Bullshit. Fuck off. Swing it around. Climb. Shut up, Adam. You make no progress. No, they're going to get me. They're going to get me. Adam.

Squim? Yeah, keep going. Yeah, whatever. You also make no progress. Well, it's still three quarters, so I'm feeling pretty cool. Highs or lows? Lows. They won't make no progress.

No sirree. Piss. Great. You always bet on piss. Piss. Piss yellow. Piss yellow. Always bet on piss.

One of the zombies grabs you by the leg. Oh, no. And pulls. No! You fall off the rope. I'm going to get eaten. You're only a hot zero. You take five points of damage when you hit the ground.

I'm unconscious. Yep. That's you. Ladies and gentlemen. Once again. On their next turn, the zombies will tear you apart. Do you have some final words? I think it's just sacre bleu!

As I fall towards The desert below To be consumed Once again Jackson Bailey has died In a game of D&D He's aged 40 years this time Which is new

A little disappointed I didn't get to kill you with age At least I didn't lose my eraser, Adam, which you were worried about at the start of this session. Look at the bright side. You're going to join them now. Hey, I'm going to eat you. Good luck. I'm going to eat you.

I'm not scared. Okay. Oh, jeez. Shane. I'm going to keep climbing. You're out. Oh. Squim.

How close are the zombies to me? They're pretty far. They're maybe midway. So you've got a good 20 feet away from them. All right, cool. I'll keep climbing. You're out as well. Is anything around?

Do you have a knife? Yeah, I've got a shiv. I've got a glass shiv. As soon as you climb out, there's a fight happening kind of around you. There's maybe three distinct groups of people i'm like someone give me a knife no one does that give me a fucking knife i grabbed the nearest person give me your fucking knife uh halloween halloween best day the person i say it's like an elf it's like oh jesus all right whatever he hands you a knife cut the fucking ropes all right and i get my ship out and i'm also i'm cutting the other ropes as well so it's a group

effort uh heisel lows for you squirm quickly uh heis heis all right you take one point of damage because the glass ship is improper but uh you manage to cut a rope as well and all three both of you sorry i should say are able to cut all four as well. And all three, both of you, sorry, I should say, are able to cut all four ropes well before they can make it out. Look around. All right, lads. The fight seems to kind of disregard you. What are we going to do?

We're fucked. We have no knowledge of this place anymore. It's just the two of us. It sounds like a war's going on, to be honest. Yeah. You can hear it echoing from upstairs i'm just gonna just like okay everyone oi hey oi oi there's no intimidation check that could stop what's i'm not starting to intimidate oi everyone just stop for like 10 seconds you could 20 seconds

whether or not people are listening because no one wants to back down from this fight whatever is down there is gonna kill you trust me but um good luck i'm fucking off anyone out here who wants to fuck off with us raise your hand anyone i raise my hand in support hi zelos you get no support from anyone all right good then, guys. Good bloody luck to you. Any scholars here? You see a couple of people clutching books. Similar, like, gloom-esque types. Yeah, yeah. Who do not want to participate in the fight.

Let's fucking kidnap one. All right, you, oi. Or not kidnap. Just, yeah. Oi, you. You grab one. What's your name? It's not important.

We already met him. Tobias, he says. Tobias, right. So down there, explain what the fuck is going on. What the fuck it is. It must have been their weapon. Their secret to defeating the dwarves. He seems kind of more interested.

Yeah. They're zombies. It'll keep happening. It's going to kill us all. We've got to stop it. We've got to close it down. We've got gotta undo what we did we gotta control z this motherfucker broken this thing's getting out make some more

i want closure on this fucking story we ain't dying here this wasn't all for nothing i ain't got a reward i ain't got my girl i ain't got my beautiful magical I ain't got my girl. I ain't got my beautiful, magical boy. Maybe, he says, maybe if we went back to a university or someplace like that, we could find someone. But I don't think anyone here has that type of magic. God. What type of magic? Powerful, ancient magic to seal this place up.

All right. Who's the, so what's the room? I detect magic to try and find powerful, ancient magic to seal this place up all right um who's so what what's i detect i detect magic to try and find powerful ancient magic what's the room who's going on sorry like what did describe the scene what's happening in this room like a absolute free-for-all of a fight is happening the people are fighting all around the broken remains of the stone seal. There's, like, it's absolute pandemonium. There's a couple people with spider walk abilities fighting on the ceiling. That's sick. There's a halfling somewhere in a corner.

Every now and then he'll just appear out of invisibility and fire a longbow, then disappear again. Fuck, I was like, guys, the hole's open. That's not the same halfling, is it? No, it's a different halfling. disappear again? Guys! The hole's open! Get in there. No, it's a different halfling. So I can not a lawful move to grab someone and throw them in the hole.

I want to do that! I want to do that just to give old mate something to chew on while he's a zombie. A group of dwarves in shield formation are slowly making their way towards the hole anything that comes near them, a spear

will just jab out of the formation and kill them pretty much instantly. Alright, I'm just gonna be like dwarves, good bloody luck You don't want to do it, but hey, dwarves dwarves. An orc tears an elf literally limb from limb. I keep imagining a massive

orc fighting a halfling with two other halflings. You'll probably find that somewhere. Tobias, where can we find someone to stop this? Because that's fucked. You'll need to... You guys know where you can find... There's a handful of magical arcane universities.

You guys know where they are. They're kind of famous. So it wouldn't be hard for you to find such a place, a place of magical learning and power. Finding a person who can fix this is another matter. Right. So can you just quickly on the DL, what the fuck is going on here? What the fuck is going on here?

Why is everyone fighting? Why is everyone after this? Oh, you're talking to Tobias? Yeah. Oh, for the treasure buried beneath. It's not a treasure. It's death. No one...

Everyone has a different idea what it is. No, we don't have an idea. We have fucking knowledge, motherfucker. We went down there. Do you not see us come out of the hole? Well, I don't know if that's another... Well, no one knows if that's another... No one knows how deep this thing is.

They don't know if it's another level or just... Treasure's subjective, man. I'm just going to pick Tobias up and just, like, push his head... Please, please stop. ...into the hole. You push him under. And, like, pull him back up.

Did you see? Yeah, I saw it. Yeah, what did you see? It's a lot of zombies that I like. Yeah, push him back down. Pull him back up. I look at Shane and go, I'm so proud. Yeah?

Alright, I saw it. Please stop. So maybe we get the fuck out. Alright. You've convinced me. I'll leave. Alright, anyone else wait convincing. You. Grab someone. You're just gonna one by one push him in the hole. Are you grabbing someone who's fighting? Because you're gonna start a fight. Nah, another scholar.

Make your way. You push through the fight start a fight. No, another scholar. Make your way. You push through the fight. Excuse me. You grab another scholar. You know how to stop this. No one knows. You can grab as many scholars as you want. You guys know more about this than anyone else.

It's even more futile than when we were in the hall. I feel like we must have missed something in the hole. You grab scholar after scholar. Maybe once or twice you grab an elf to see if they know anything. You guys know more than anyone else does. Sarah's like, right. And you can't convince anyone here. There's a group of dragon cultists come through,

and you hear them chanting about how they can't wait to see the sand dragon that lives under here i'm like all right boys clamber down this is some fucking cannonball run bullshit that's going on yeah we could sell like a travel agency business where we guide people through the dungeon because we fucking know it you're like these are they go to the sphinx the sphinx is like ah answer me these you just say the three riddles it It's this. It taps you on the back. If you want to... I can try to help you find someone, but such a person is not here.

All right, where are they? We need to leave. Then let's get the fuck out of this stupid place. All right. You're wasting your fucking time. You make your way through the fight. All the levels. All right. You're wasting your fucking time. You make your way through the fight. All the levels. Every level.

It's packed. We make our way through every level? Yeah, you make your way. You're back outside. On the way, I want to get Lilip's corpse. All right, that's fine. I want to get it from out of the sand. You know how you're maybe at high school or something like that

or someplace like that. One person will put down a piece of paper and everyone else is like, oh, that's a pile. Yeah. Oh, jeez. Someone who seemed to... There's a pile of beautiful elven corpses. You need to dig through the pile to get her at the bottom.

Jesus. Also, at the same time I want to be kind of like Not looting But like grabbing a weapon Of some kind Yeah some armor Some clothes

Yeah fucking You can get your hands on a sword Just a sword You've got a long sword Like a fucking Hell I'll call it a bastard sword Alright Because that's what you're good at

Yep bastard sword And some kind of armor They'd be like Alright just as long as I Armor is a big deal Alright just a bastard sword If you stop to don armor Tobias is like, we gotta

go. No, I don't. Just pick up a sword and be like, fuck then dickheads a lot of you. I like to imagine that zombie me has a zombie rooster as well. Yeah, can we do a meanwhile with Henton? Meanwhile? It's just me with my zombie buddies being like, they cut the rope.

What? Moaning dickheads. What? Moaning. Deer heads. They're so rude. They cut the rope. Do we just get back to lying in the sand? What's the go? You burst out of this underground

or this complex. You see the sunlight again for the first time in weeks. Mum. That's my big sigh of seeing the sun. It was gravelly. Gee, was it? Tobias is the last one to climb out. And he says, all right, do you have your own transportation?

I look around. How many camels are there? There's like a small city has been set up around this place. Jesus. How far to this university? How far to this university? How far to this place? Many months. Well, the closest one would be an elven town of Azamarill.

That is maybe a month's travel. Well, I go and find three nearest camels. All right. Anyone there? The camp is also kind of in pandemonium. There's fighting happening everywhere. Fighting everywhere? The nearest person.

The fighting here is a little less intense. It's more like someone will be like, that's my fucking food, and it's like a fist fight might start. Right. But there's a lot of chaos going on in the camp. It's a massive western saloon. Yeah. Sure. All right.

Let's try and somehow, but in the middle of fighting, rope three camels, maybe some food. Let's get the fuck out of Dodge. As you set off back towards Opona, both of you have heavy in your thoughts three questions. What is this that we have unleashed? Can we stop it? And do we have the means to stop it?

All of these questions will be answered in time. Thank you for listening to Buried Beneath, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Thanks for listening. If you want to help support the show, why not become a member at SandsPantsPlus.com and get early access to our shows, a bunch of exclusive content and much, much more. That's SandsPantsPlus.com. Hey there, fellow adventurer. and much, much more. That's Sants Pants Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests,

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