D&D is For Nerds - Buried Beneath #3 Fire Beetles

Episode Date: March 28, 2017

In which our heroes try to exterminate some beetles. Shane always wants the bad news first,Anton gets cooked and Squim makes an amazing joke that no one gets.Want to help support the show?Patreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeJackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadShanks: twitter.com/timtimfedZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio, I wear the Queen's Slipper. and together we recorded one of the greatest adventures in D&D is for Nerds history ever, maybe. If you signed up to Patreon before April 1st, you'll get exclusive access to what we are calling D&D is for Dad. Links are in the show notes below, so make your way to Patreon right now and help support the show and feast your ears on something very special. Welcome to episode 3 of Buried Beneath, a D&D is for Nerds adventure. I'm Jackson Bailey, and I'll be playing the part of Anton de Saussure. I'm Michael Shanks. I'll be playing the part of Squim Norton. And I'm Joel Zammett playing the part of

Shane Knoll. Finally, I'm Adam, your dungeon master. Previously. This is an ancient elven tomb. It's not lost on me that you've hired an elf and a half-elf. No, no, no. 50, 50,000 years. There'll be no bodies. Skeletons. Not even skeletons.

Philip nods and says, I doubt he could take us in a fight. More words! This journey has only been taken once before by a surveyor who first found the location. There'll be seals placed upon this burial site. Oh, oh. Seals? I want to say swordplay,

but that kind of sounds like gross and sexy. Shane and Squim. You both begin to feel the desert heat beating down on you. The third day goes significantly worse. Yeah, I'm going to get off too. But just like sexually. Get off on the count of nine. You got a 20 on that, Roy.

Everybody gets off by like osmosis. All right, Magic magic boys Everyone just chill I reckon it's ambush so everyone get prepared The wreckage around you The bodies next to you The strange mound before you And Shane and Arma behind you What's your move?

Now I'll investigate the mound Once he's good We're just gonna leave the gold tooth You can take it You're investigating the body mate You can just pop it out to leave the gold tooth. You can take it. You're investigating the body, mate. You can just pop it out. I loot the gold tooth.

Sneakily put it in one of your... Yeah, you just get it out. It's no stress. Nice. Good hours. Gold tooth. Put it on a necklace. Pretend you killed him. Got him.

Victory from a battle. How many characters are we going to have that collect elephant teeth? Well, too many, I reckon. It's good to do. Oh, what are you doing? Rip out one of your teeth. It's in there.

That's it. You approach the mound in the middle. And when you get close, you think to yourself, huh, it looks a lot like an anthill. And then... Uh-oh. Like a big anthill. This is like a little anthill, but of size.

Goodness. And then about the size of Labrador's. Oh, boy. Beetles start pouring out of the hill. It was beetles, not ants. Cuteness. Ah! Two of them immediately attack you. I mean that's fair i was i was just fucking right

he's like hey where are you going where are you i am so sorry i'm done oh no imagine if i just died i should say these beetles are like i said the size of labradors but they've also got red bright red shells and these massive horns that they gore you with. Uh-oh. Like, what is it? Hercules beetle, but red. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gee whiz. Ventriloquism.

It's not gonna help me now. No. Now there's mirror image. Get got, motherfucker! Damn. Oh, that's a lot of ones. Ha ha! Fuck you, beetle.

He's like, no, no, no, for you. No, I mean, that's a lot of ones. 68 then. You take 8 points of damage. That's still like... I've only got 20. I think you're at half health now. No, no, no.

No, you are, because you took the 2 damage from before. Oh, yeah. Shit. Goodness gracious me. What can I use to get this little fella? Ten of them in total spew from the hill.

Run. Everyone run. Excuse me. I need to get away. I'll be... Green. Blue. Blue. And which color would you like? Black. Black. Cool. I feel like I should have been more clever about releasing the beetles. Yeah.

Release the beetles! It's like we're still investigating the bodies of like, oh, I reckon this is pretty fucked. Something's going, hey, where are you going, Anton? Oh, and we're fighting. No, no, no. That seems like a beetles time. I got grenades. Throw an alchemist's fire down the hole.

Oh, perfect. Shane, you're first to react. All right, I'm going to try and rush to my good friend Anton's side. Thank you. Yeah, you charge up the ant mount. Yeah, try and... Have your beetle mount. Beetle mount.

And try and protect him. Thank you. I guess, yeah, fight. Challenge the beetle to the fight. You swing your bastard sword. Yeah, that challenge, can I just challenge beetles? Or is it just like, no, no, no, no, just that one beetle. You challenge only one.

Oh, never mind. Also, your night's challenge will not work on the beetles. The beetles will be like, what? But you're like, I'm a beetle. Yeah. You strike one of the beetles with be like What? But he's like I'm a beetle Yeah You strike one of the beetles With your bastard sword And He knows I'm there right?

Oh jeez Yeah he knows you The beetles are well aware of you You don't so much strike it As more As you're charging up the hill You use your shield To scoop one of the beetles up

Flip it onto its back And then you stab Through the beetle Into the sand The beetle does that thing Where its legs all curl up. And you know you've killed one of the ten beetles. Nine left. All right.

Easy done. Then, Anton, it's your turn. I would like to chill touch one of them. All right. Grab it on the horns and freeze it. First off, you need to do the defensive casting thing. So long as your body allows it You can just not allow it

Because you got that thing Mage Slayer Not in my fucking books mate That's No thank you Nah you're right I assume you do He's the good kind of wizard

Yeah I'm just doing good Like wizards are fine It's just Wizards you know That's what it's about Shield touch is a D6, right? It is.

I'm after evil wizards. 1d6 damage. Negative strength or panic undead. Are they undead? I know they're not. You grab one of the beetles and you channel... You take the magical energy innate in the... Oh, no, you picked the conic.

No, I got dragon blood. Yeah, all right. You take the magical energy innate in your blood, channel it through yourself and draw... Not dry, but take the heat out of the beetle. Yeah, all right. You take the magical energy innate in your blood, channel it through yourself, and draw, not dry, but take the heat out of the beetle. Oh, yeah. As you're doing that,

you notice that there's a lot of, you've chill-touched people before. Oh, hey. I've taken the heat out of them. It's the good, yeah. You notice that there's a lot of heat in this beetle. It's an unusual amount. And then you think about the charred remains around you.

I'm assuming I didn't get it either. You kill one of so yeah no it's all right but also they're gonna burn us to death probably ringo squim it's your got your ringo uh i i i just target the closest uh am i in with these other two guys am i you're down the bottom of the hill still so you've got some range on them you can charge in if you want but you might be endangering yourself by doing that. I'm a coward, that's fine. I get ready for an eldritch blast towards

the nearest beetle. Yeah, you can throw that at range if you want. You draw magical energy similarly to the way Anton does. You draw it into your hand and hurl it with might at one of the beetles. Just one next to them or one up the back. One next to them. I'm looking out for a voice.

Magic boys, stick together. Beautiful magic boys, B&Bs. Anton, a bolt of magical energy slams into a beetle next to you. Sacre bleu. Probably does surprise you a little bit. The beetle explodes. Beetle viscera on my face. Yeah, there's a red and green smear in the sand where it once was.

And I'm like, did someone say it three times? Because I see some beetle juice. And nobody gets it. It is a reference to ungot by everyone. You want to drink some of the beetles? You would like to drink the juice of the beetles? Yeah, I'm fine. Yes.

Seven beetles left. I guess you eat sand, maybe. Yeah, you eat sand, you eat maybe beetles' guts. Drinks beetle juice, yes. He has a confusing gut. Two beetles attempt to gore you, Anton. Half housemate. One of them hits.

Oh, shit. You take a further six damage. Oh, lord, I should not be in this fight. Merde. Merde. I'm not designed for combat. Keep her home, you might. I might run down to our friend, Scrim, because...

Oh, hell. Two attempt to gore you, Shane. Yeah. Oh, fuck off, no. Smack him with my shield. No. You set your shield against them, and you just feel... It's like...

It's almost as if rain were hitting your shield. And it feels as much like rain was hitting. You barely even notice their strikes. Two... No, wait. One. Charges down the hill towards you, Squim. With his little beetle feet?

Oh, with the momentum it gets from charging down, it strikes you solidly in the chest. You feel the wind leave your lungs. You take seven points of damage. Oh, boys. These beetles are fucking us up real bad. And then, finally. Finally? Wait, hang on.

Two, four. Six. No, only one charged him. Five. I've got two beetles left to play with. Two beetles left in play. Those two beetles. Much like reality.

Fuck, yeah. Absolutely. Those two beetles rear up on their back legs. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Tiny maws open up up on their back legs. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Tiny moors open up just below their horns. That ain't right. And bursts of fire bathe everyone on top of the hill.

Oh. Well, I ain't... Bottom of the hill represent! Antoni's cooked. So I got three HP left, so I might just be dropping right now. Like, hey, look at this stuff you see up here. left so i might just be dropping right now like hey the first burst of fire deal six points of damage to both of you oh no negative three negative two oh so not dead yet we'll explain how that works by this point i think jack could explain this quite comfortably

you've spent enough time here basically once i hit negative 10 i'm done for right um but up until then up until then so at negative two you're still fine you're not like yeah at negative the way it works is when you get to negative numbers you start dying so you're not dead you're just lying on the ground bleeding out so zero is unconscious yeah zero is not unconscious. Zero is staggered. So you're like, oh, God. You can only do one action at a time. Coughing up blood, stumbling around.

Negatives, you're unconscious and bleeding out. Then the second burst of fire straight up kills me. Rest in peace, Anton. Yes. We quicksave deals another 6 points of damage to both of you not dead yet

negative 8 every round you lose a hit point unless an ally helps you how many more so wait there's 2 beetles remaining that's it there's 7 beetles left just That's it? No, there's like seven. There's seven beetles left. Oh, God.

Just roll me down the hill to Gloom. I was going to say, get... What's her name? Get Lilip. Lilip's got a child. Lilip, who is helping out Gloom right now. We should have brought Lilip. Fuck Gloom, I'm dying.

All right. Oh, happy day. Oh, I had potions of Enduro Elements. I could have. Don't worry. Lilip has a character sheet, so you'll be able to play her when you die. Yeah. I mean, I guess.

So, then it is. Oh, actually, you know what? It's Lilip's turn now. Lilip, heal me. Heal me, heal me, heal me, heal me, heal me, heal me, heal me. Someone's got to call out for her. She didn't see. Lilip's turn now. Lilip, heal me. Heal me, heal me, heal me, heal me, heal me, heal me, heal me. Someone's got to call out for her. She didn't see. Lilip, close.

Like the proverbial father at the side of the pool, she was not paying attention to your dive. And what a dive. Shane, so you could spend this turn fighting more of the Beatles or... What a lie. Beatles or... I know, I'm always imagining. You can spend this time capping George McCartney.

George McCartney? George McCartney. George McCartney. The hybrid Frankenstein of the Beatles. Him and Ringo Lennon hanging out. You can either cap Harrison or you can help out your good buddy here. All right. I am going to try and shield my good buddy with me

and pour a potion of Cure Light Wounds down his gullet. That'll be your turn. I have a potion of Cure Moderate. Can he take it out from me and use it? I'll allow it, yeah, sure. He can waste his potion. Beatles come. You recover 14

hit points, so you'll be on because the first point just takes you to zero, so you'll be on 13 hit points. So you'll be on... Because the first point just takes you to zero. So you'll be on 13 hit points. Oh, thank God. I'm fine. You're conscious. Doing okay, but you're on the ground. Okay.

Then it is Anton's turn. Is it an action to roll down the hill away from the Beatles? I don't know. Just to be like... You spend your entire turn doing that, though. That's fine. Anton rolls to a gentle stop near Squim and the beetle that he is fighting. Squim, it is your turn.

Right. My spell, Earthen Grasp, can I only do that to one enemy at a time? Yes. Okay. Letting you know as well, if it doesn't have an enemy to grab it just grabs whoever's nearby. Oh shit. You can only control it if there's an enemy for it to grab. So it's that scary hand that gave me nightmares from Ocarina of Time

when you're in a shadow temple or whatever it is. Oh, see. Use it. How cool. I've never heard of that spell. I would, but I've got someone right in front of me, and I'm just, this is boring, but I'm going to do a repeat of my Eldritch Blast.

No, fair. It's a good spell. That works pretty well. Yeah. Wait, am I close enough to the beetle to, like, put my hands on it? You can. Well, can I aim it, like, right at his head and be like, this is just, like,

insert John Lennon's assassination name here. Mark Chapman? You're gonna scream, Yoko, oh no! And then I shoot my load. The camels are very impressed. Well, it happens. Whatever you just described happens maybe in the order you described it.

A sex, sexual thrill. Which means I've already attacked it and then I'm trying to work out the line afterwards. I've already attacked it, and then I'm trying to work out the line afterwards. So you know how people have that part in the head that when you hit it, it explodes their head, you know? And you might not know this, but that's actually a trait that, it's not because we're human, it's because we have a head. So all creatures with heads have that trait.

That's amazing. Nature's amazing. You shoot the beetle directly in its abdomen and blow its abdomen up and start. Nothing but the beetle's head remains. Collect that head. Yeah, I put it on as a hat. Or maybe I have to wait till my next turn. Wait for your next turn, then wear it as a hat.

Six beetles remain. Now it's their turn, but hey, I'm alive and away from them. For now. For now. I will die soon Bottom of the hill, can't get cooked All six of them Attack our good friend You're in trouble

I'm fine, I'm on like full hit points, I assume Yeah, whatever I know I took like I want to say 16, but I wasn't paying attention You're fine Lilip's alive But my max health is 56. I'm good.

What? What's your max HP? I'm 32. What? I'm a tough boy. You're a little half. I guess I'm... You're only half of a Ling.

Yeah. I'm only half of a Ling. This isn't a Seinfeld bit. Is the... What's a full Ling? Is a full Ling a thing? Are there Lings? I don't...

Yeah, I never really understood what I was half of. Yeah. Or what halflings were halflings. Oh, they call them halflings because they're half the size of a person. Of a human. But what do halflings call themselves? Do they... They would refer to themselves as...

Do they call humans double-lings? Yeah. No, they just call them humans. Because it would be weird to describe themselves as like... Halflings might refer to themselves as hobbits or... Oh, there's another one. Shire folk. Sorry?

Shire folk. The wee lads. The wee ones. They or... Shirefolk. Sorry? Shirefolk. The wee lads. The wee ones. They're not Shirefolk. Tiny gents. No. They'd probably refer to themselves as hobbits or they might say halfling, but it would be their word for them.

Halfling is its own language, so they would have a word for themselves in their language and people would translate that as halfling. The free folk. Sure. Whatever. I don't fucking care anymore. Whatever. Anyway, carry on.

What was I even going to say? It'd be nice if I could halfling this guy. Hang on. You're calling us half people? I'm adding gold tooth to my possessions. Feel free to. Just in case. Later on.

Shane, no. I know you're hurting. Don't know the next line to that song. I know you're hurting But now you're learning For a squirting You have a beautiful voice Is this the

This is the Song? That classic Shannon Knowles-y hit I think it's called No, Lift The song's called Lift Yeah, yeah But what about me?

It isn't fair I've had enough And I want my share. Anyway, Shane, good news, bad news. Which would you like first? Always the bad news, mate. Always the bad news? Always the bad news. Oh, hang on.

That's not good. So this is a... I've got two decks of cards in front of me. One is for a critical hit. One is for a critical miss. Critical hit is with a little head. Critical miss is with a little one on the die. So a critical hit... That's pretty self-explanatory if you've played a critical miss. Critical hit is with a little head. Critical miss is with a little one on the die. So a critical hit, that's pretty self-explanatory if you've played a game before.

Oh, yeah, I know all about crits. Yeah. And would you like the good news? Yeah, right. Oh, critical fail. Oh, all right. So one of the beetles, when it pierces your forearm. Forearm piercing. Double damage and you are disarmed. Bullshit. Uh your forearm. Sure. Forearm piercing.

Double damage and you are disarmed. Bullshit. Uh-oh. Run! It pierces you solidly through the arm. You drop your bastard sword and... Oh, no. Is that your only weapon?

Yes. I have a shield. First one of the game. So, this is kind of essentially like a luck roll. I ask highs or lows, and you respond highs or lows, and depending on how the dice roll, either your good friend Shane here was lucky,

and the bastard sword falls point first and is just stuck in the ground next to him, or he was unlucky, and it fell flat side first, and now slides down the anthill. Highs or lows? I'll go highs. Your good friend Shane was lucky. Oh, thank god. down the anthill. Heis or los? I'll go heis. Heis.

Your good friend Shane was lucky. Oh, good. Thank God. The bastard sword falls point first into the ground. You can pick it up

on your next turn. It's like, fuck you. It's just like a half foot below your hand. I've got to wait a whole turn to do this. Oh, very lucky. With a beetle

through my arm. Minimum damage for the critical hit. Four points of damage to you. Lucky boy. What am I on, actually? 36 by my count. God damn it, you fucking healthy sons of bitches.

I'm dying all the time over here. Beetles have muscles, right? They have like an exoskeleton. One of them pulls a muscle trying to attack you. Like one of its legs pops out because the hydraulics that operate their body goes wrong. Yeah, beetles work on hydraulics.

What? Fuck the lot of you. Beetles work on motherfucking hydraulics. You're not thinking of the car. That's why you sons of dirty bitches when a spider dies or a beetle dies, its legs curl in. Oh, right.

Because the hydraulics stopped working. Fuck you guys. I don't know if hydraulics is the right word. Hydraulics. I don't. Okay, Google. Do beetles work on hydraulics? Not the beetles rooftop tribute.

That's not what I wanted. Just trust me Beatles are a hydraulic exoskeleton That sounds plausible Yeah, like, sure Anyway I have doubts, but hey So, another set of bad news

Who wants to Well, there's no good news I'd like it, please So the bad news is On all of your turns No one called out for Lilip. And so she is still unaware of your plight. Pay attention, Lilip!

Surely she's heard the screams of people dying. Ah, no, she has. She's charged with Beatles. Oh, yes, she said it. She heard on her own merit. When she gets here, she's going to ask why you didn't call out for her. We assumed you were looking. We did, mate.

When I was ran through by a beetle's own, I yelled, ah! It's going to take her a round to get here, though. Shane, it's your turn again. All right. Six beetles left. I pick up a sword and attack? Is that all right? Yeah, you can still do that.

I want to like... You can't move, though. Yeah, that's all right. I want to like shield up and try and... Sear him in the brain. Yeah, get him in the brain. I want to like... You can't move though. Yeah, that's all right. I want to like shield up and try and... Scare him in the brain. Yeah, get him in a brain. Get him in that beetle brain. You step on one of the beetles, pushing its head into the sand.

Then you skewer it good and true through its abdomen. Twist your bastard sword and just work it in real good. The beetle squirms and spasms but then goes very still all right another beetle down anton can i put chill touch on romeo and send him in all right so the way this works is here's oh wait no you can't why i don't think so do you i don't think you have that ability yet for anton Empathic. Deliver touch spells. Yeah. Oh, never mind.

All right, fine. Gotcha. So you're cooling down your familiar. I'm like, I put the spell in the chicken. So the chicken can cast the spell. The chicken runs in because it's a touch spell. I have to touch them. But I don't want to go in there because I'll die.

But Romeo, my rooster, he's got it. Can I chat to him? You have an empathic link so you can communicate feelings and emotions but you cannot yet talk although your chicken has a human level

intelligence it is a clever chicken yes well like a human who needs to go to a like he needs to go to a special class

not a super clever chicken intelligence 6 so imagine a Jackson of chickens yeah imagine an iq of 60 that's what this chicken has wise as shit though is that like an idiot savant kind of thing it's like all animals have a high wisdom they need to be able to because they need to be able to like sniff trails animals fucking wise fucking yep audio whatever they can't talk so

hey that's a pretty good trade i guess they're really good for swings and roundabouts doesn't it your chicken jumps i guess chicken rooster rooster it's a rooster the pockerel jumps onto one of the beetles and you can feel the the cold well you from a distance can feel the cold energy being sapped into McCartney. Got to get him. Going to run out of names. I've already got too many. Yeah, well, there was the one that left. Yeah, Pete Bess or whatever.

Yeah, Pete Bess. Also, George Martin, their producer. Yeah, their producer. He died recently. He did, yeah. That's sad. This beetle freezes solid. And then shatters.

That's the best. Controversial. Controversial, yes. And I guess, hey, you can go with the suns. Come back to me. Return, Romeo. He'll have to do that next time. I have the worst suns. Julian Lennon's the worst dude.

Anyway. My turn. Oh, gosh. I have so many cool spells that are irrelevant at this encounter. I know, right? I want to just spider walk because it's the coolest spell in history. Nothing really spider walk up just yet. So I'm at the bottom of the hill with old mate Frenchie.

How you doing? What's your name? Anton. Anton, yeah. And where are the beetles in relation to us? The beetles are all at the top of the hill tussling with your good mates. Shane. You can fire your crossbow at them.

Curtis is lower damage. Yeah, fuck it. I just Eldritch Blast them. Yeah, good. I'll do it. Why would you imagine your hand move? Because I've had Eldritch Blast in the past and I did it like a point.

What would your hand move be? I'm never a fan of the point. I'm more of a fan of the kind of open hand cast. Like one hand out, one hand back behind your head for some reason. Yeah, I'm kind of Kamehameha-ing or something. Oh, yeah, good as. Like Ryu.

Yeah, exactly. I just think it's like a cool little... Aldrich Blast. Yeah. I like to imagine I'm like gesturing like, done. Like a waiter. It's an Italian insult. You're like, fling it out of your chin.

Fling out that chill punch. You draw the magical energy reserves to your hand and burst it forwards at one of the beetles. Oh. Oh. All right. Good news, bad news. It was like, great.

I'll go with good news first. Good news first? Ooh. Ooh. Critical hit. And the bad news? Just kidding. No bad news.

All good news. Hurrah. What an emotional rollercoaster. Bad news. You hit me. Huh. And the bad news? Just kidding. No bad news. All good news. Hurrah! What an emotional rollercoaster. Something bad news. You hit me. Huh. Have you taken damage? I have taken...

Yeah, you have taken damage. A vampiric magic. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yes. So, normal damage, but you heal the same amount of damage. Great. That's the best.

There's that demon blood. Hey. That's it. It's good. It's got its... You find an unknown reserve of magic within you, and using that, you're like, sick. I think I can use this particular spell.

You deal more damage than really you have any right to do. And you heal 20 points of damage. Does that mean I've gone over my original? No, you don't go over. So I cap it. You just fully heal. There you go. All right. It's like, fuck, that was delicious. It's my original? No, you don't go over. So I cap it. You're just fully healed. There you go.

All right. It's like, fuck, that was delicious. Actually, if it just killed you. Like, you just, you got too full of life. You just exploded. There are ways to go over your cap. And if you double your hit points, you explode. Like, just die.

Yeah, you die. You explode. I was wondering. I just had a thought. So if you had done that, you would have died. I would have definitely gone. Potentially. Fuck just had a thought. So if you had done that, you would have died. I would have definitely gone. Potentially. Fuck, that's funny. So say I put chill touch in my chicken.

Yeah. Is there something else like another wizard can do where it makes the, like, is the spells in the chicken? Is there like another wizard could be like, and the chicken just gets the effects of the spells? Do you see what I mean? So like if I think about chill touch as like there's damage, potential damage in chill touch. There are ways to reflect spells, yeah.

But what I mean is, say I put it in Romeo. Yeah. And I throw it at another wizard. Is there a spell that lets you make the spell in the familiar go off? I guess is what I want to know. Say I gave a grenade to a chicken. And I was like, go blow them up. And then somebody was like, oh, pull the pin.

I don't know. Because there should be. Because how funny. Because my rooster would die like that. Anyway, just a thought. But Romeo, he's... I love him. I don't want it to happen, but he's a great chicken. Until we get hungry enough. He's alright. And you kind of got to get him

away from poison. Just letting you know that eating Romeo is very traumatic because you have a mental link with this chicken. So you would feel like the bites in a sort of... Can I bring him back? Can I do that thing? Where I'm like... Got him again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The elemental plane of chickens. When he dies, he disappears.

And you can re-summon him. He doesn't actually technically die. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. So, that was Squim. It's the Beatles' turn. No, no, no They play a delightful song That I like to call Cook the Night

Why would you cook the night? There's two delicious wizards down there You'll be fine, you're on 35 goddamn HP They're technically mages See if they can cast I think it's a natural thing that happens within them Well, so. I notice, Scream, you're yet to put that head on your head like a hat.

That's true. I'm sort of, I'm worried that a better head will come along. Fair. No, I can understand. At the end, I'm planning on doing like a surveillance of all the, I might even choose one of the elven heads from the ground. Just pull it off. Pull it down.

Now I'm a real elf. Is this your student club? Oh, look how good he looks on my head. Did it. One of the four jumps up onto its back legs, and when it opens its maw, instead of just the fire coming out, you hear like a chattering. They all jump up onto their back, open their maws,

chatter together, and then the fire comes. No, thank you. You're going to just cook. When all is said and done. How many are left? Four. All right. That's not too bad.

I'll get one with 13. We need some more splash damage-y kind of attacks. Yeah, I don't have- I've got acid splash. That's an orb that deals 1d3 damage, but that's like nothing. See, all I've got is Fire. Burning Hands that'll do that, but they'll be fire-resistant because they're fire-resistant. Yeah, you could give it a go, though.

I've got Raven Feebleman. I'll choose that. We'll see what that does. You take 16 points of damage. All right. That's not too bad. As you get roasted alive within your armor. Hot.

And Lilip is among you. Oh, Lillip! Lillip! Bloody hell, Lillip. She's standing next to Anton and Squim. Do either of you need healing? Yes, we. She heals...

A little bit. She heals you for five hit points. So now you're on, yeah, technically full. So really? No. I needed to be full. Five hit points is more than're on yeah technically full yep so really no i needed to be food i was five hit points is more than a quarter of his you're a weak boy come on 18 right now because of the heat stroke true well not heat stroke yet i've got to roll for the end of the day no wait it is heat stroke sunburn is what i roll for at the end of the day

oh but i have my parasol. You still get the reflection. Yeah, no, fair, fair. Sand fucking fucks you. No, no, I'm with you. Yeah, yeah, shut up. Should have got two parasols, mate. Should have covered myself in parasols. Shane, back to you.

All right, all right, all right. I was going to hunker down. Oh, sorry. You know what I just remembered that we should point out? I don't want to necessarily tell you what you should be doing. Yeah, I don't want to tell you how to adventure. But if I was adventuring. Literally do whatever you want. You don't want to necessarily tell you what you should be doing. Yeah, I don't want to tell you how to adventure. But if I was adventuring. Literally do whatever you want.

You don't want to backseat adventure. Your friend Shane over here has this special ability, which we did discuss earlier, but if there's some sort of magical darkness or concealment around him, he doesn't take penalties for that. Oh, yeah, I remember planning that. Just a little bit of a hot tip. All right.

It's almost as if Adam helped synergize your characters. And then Jackson just picked a bunch of new spells five minutes before we started recording. I could use mirror image now. I want to throw something at you.

Throw a dice. I got a lot of dice. I don't want to lose any of them. I could use mirror image now. I want to throw something at you. I got a lot of dice. I don't want to lose any of them. It's a good little hit. Take out one of Jackson's dice. Alright, I reckon I'm going to go for the one that signalled the others to fire, because I'm assuming he is their leader. He is slightly bigger.

And I'm going to get him good. Take his out. I'll cleave get him good. Take his hat. Yeah. I'll cleave him in half. As in like separate his neck from his abdomen. That thing happens.

Sick. Hey. You kick it up into the air and cut it in half. That's gross. Oh yeah. Three left. And Anton.

Raven Feebleman. Sorry. It's like, I feel weak. Got the magoo. A burst of magical energy, a beam of magical energy sprouts from your arm, tracks along the sand, and misses anything.

It's an eagle in the sky. Ah, nerd. Squim. It's an eagle in the sky. Ah, nerd. Squim. Gosh. Feel free to do whatever you want. Golly golly gosh. Oh, yeah, you have the burning hands. Oh, I do have the burning hands.

I've been planning. I've been wanting to try that, but I'm like, oh, they're fire resistant. But I've got 50 of them. So I think I'm going to go. Test it. See if they're on. Wand of burning hands and try and. You'll need to go test it, see if they're on. Wand of Burning Hands and try and...

You'll need to charge up the hill a little bit, though. Okay, okay. I charge up the hill as much as I need to in order to try and Burning Hands... You're still pretty close. Just letting you know. Alright, cool. Close enough to cook some beetles, but is Squim also close enough to get cooked in return? Find out next time on Buried Beneath,

a D&D's for Nerds adventure. Thank you. adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice, and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.