D&D is For Nerds - Buried Beneath #5 Shadow Sand

Episode Date: April 4, 2017

In which our heroes fight a wraith in the worst possible place and at the worst possible time.Shane is everyone’s eyes on the battlefield, Anton makes some bad choices and Squim starts to love and elf.Want to help support the show?Patreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeJackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadShanks: twitter.com/timtimfedZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SANS Paints Radio, 22 exciting new flavours and one exciting old flavour, vanilla. Hello and welcome to episode 5 of Buried Beneath, a D&D's for nerds adventure. I'm your dungeon master, Adam. I'm Jackson Bailey and I'm playing the part of Anton de Saussure. My name's Michael Shang so I'm going to be playing the part of Squib Norton. And this just in, I'm Joel Zammett and I'll be playing the part of Shane Noll. Previously. I'm glad someone else does the fucking action.

Nobody else ever does the fucking actions in this goddamn room. I'm just going to say times and see how many black pearls we end up with. And one final black pearl. So your student has died, clearly. Having plunged her hands into one of the beetles, Lilip walks over and just smears the blood over. Gloom starts distributing little

sets of goggles to all of you. Expect better reviews, Amber. Shane and Swim, you both spot wandering in the dunes, a figure moving towards where you guys have come from. They're a race called Yanti. They're descended

from humans whose bloodlines have been mingled with snakes. A lot of blood over time. A lot of blood going on. And for just a dollar a day, you can help people like Jackson here, who have a condition known as slow brain. I think it's quite possibly shadow sand, and the sun is setting. Should I just get off this?

Well, if you like to hold on to your warmth, yeah. I'll get off the sand. With no choice but to sleep near the potential shadow sand, how do you want to rest? Setting a watch? Yeah, I'll take first watch. First watch?

Who takes second watch? I can, I'm immune to sleep anyway So I can just like I nap soundly And who would like to take third watch? You're right Is Lilip taking a watch? If you ask her to

We would She can take fourth watch Gloom can take fifth watch Alright Gloom dies Damn Oh fuck yeah Because if you He has not power alright gloom dies damn oh fuck yeah cause if he

aww he is not powerful he hired you guys for a reason if he notices the danger and the danger can get to him before he can say anything

he's dead yeah straight up nah gloom doesn't take a watch anyway roughly in the middle of the night who would have been at watch around there

probably this one yeah would you be wearing your armor in the night? Probably not, to be honest. Is it hot or cold? It's cold. Yeah, then yeah.

All right. Put on your armor. Nice. Fine. Got to keep warm. Because the reason I'm not wearing armor is because it's hot. So I'm a sweaty boy. Now it's cold.

Put it on. Because if it's on watch, then I'm taking guard. Don't pay too much attention to what I'm doing. Oh, sure. I don't know what that was, but don't pay too much attention to what I'm doing. I just forgot a thing existed. And now I... Salivating at the mouth for whatever is going to kill us.

I know. I don't even know what it could be. I sort of assume Adam knows the Monster Manual, like, back to front. There's a dance song going. We could have just traveled through the night towards our... Yeah, I know. Oh, well. Oh, that's fine.

I like that I have made you guys travel during the daytime, which is the dumb time to travel. Yeah. Fucking damn true. Yeah, why are we traveling during the nighttime? Because I made sure no one here knew to do that. That's fucking damn true. Yeah, why are we traveling during the night time? Because I made sure no one here knew to do that. But I, Jackson, know to do that.

Sam, you... I just never... Fucking hell. Anyway, did you know to do that? Because you didn't realize until I said something. No, I was saying when I was getting a drink, I was like, oh, maybe we should be traveling during the night time. Then you sat down, I'm like, oh, sick, I got a drink. And then I just forgot.

It's funnier if I can throw encounters at you during the daytime. So I made sure the NPCs didn't know, and I just didn't say anything. You got us good. I'll cop it. Take it. Take what? On the chin. Yeah, take it on the chin.

All right. Take what? Where? Shane, you notice around roughly maybe 1am, there's this small gust of breeze that turns into a little tiny little cyclone in the middle of the sand, the patch of cold sand. And out of it springs forth a creature. No thanks. Just tell it no. Alright boys.

This creature is a sinister spectral figure robed in darkness. It has no visible features or appendages except for the glowing red pinpoints of its eyes. Everybody, wake up. Ghost, you and me. Don't wake up when you don't even sleep. And open my eyes. It looks like just a spooky Grim Reaper.

Show it to us. Without the scythe or legs or skeleton. It's like Grim Reaper's coat. Oh, right. It's... Yeah. How do you know if like... We're finding a coat.

It's easy. Okay. So you know when you blow your nose? Oh, yeah. Then you put your tissue in your pocket. Yeah. Then you forget about it. Yeah.

Then you pull it out later and it's all frayed and lumpy and a mess. Yeah yeah that's right it's that but gray oh it's beautiful that's all i have to say and as you wake up you're like ah shadow sand oh shadow sand i knew it i was right i called it there you go i'm very happy with myself My HP goes up permanently by 10 You can do that if you want We'll see what happens Maybe this wraith doesn't like you No You know what, this wraith can drain your maximum hit points

So we can even you out Oh no I don't think so Speaking of which, let me just quickly roll knowledge checks Alright, I'm going to say Roughly at the same time don't think so okay speaking of which let me just quickly roll knowledge checks all right i'm gonna say roughly at the same time squim and lilip you both yell don't let it touch you don't let us touch you you both know that a wraith which is what this creature is a wraith if it touches you it can drain your constitution from you making Making you physically weak. Yeah, pretty much.

Higher level versions do have pretty much a Dementor's Kiss. Alright. I crack my neck, pick up my shield. Alright boy, you and me. Always bad. On piss? I'll be piss brown.

Yeah, good choice. I'll be piss blue. If your piss is brown, see a doctor. Piss blue, thank you. Piss blue is fine. It just means you're consuming far too many Smurfs. Exactly. All right.

I expected it to go, but I'm glad that this is where it went. Incidentally, if you're wondering what that roll was about, that was to determine who goes first, second, third. Oh, right. I've written down two elements of mirror image, and then I stopped writing down. I was like, I should know what it it does i know half of what it does i assume adam knows the rest squim you go first all right how far away am i from the wraith you're roughly 70 feet this is longer than i want to be i um i i quick draw my crossbow, which has a range of 80 feet,

and I let loose a bolt at the creature. I know that non-magical attacks have no chance of hurting this creature. Right. Would I also know if whether or not a kind of spell of darkness would confuse it? A spell of darkness would confuse it, yeah. Okay, cool. Because I'm too far to deal any damage, I put up a defensive spell of darkness would confuse it, yeah. Okay, cool. Because I'm too far to deal any damage, I put up a defensive

spell of darkness where I create a magical ball between... surrounding us so that the wraith cannot see us. Although... No, I don't.

I do it just in front of us so the wraith cannot see us. But we can still see although Shane can see through it anyway. Yes. I know where he is.

Good ass. The magical ball of darkness appears in between you. Shane is still able to see through it, but it's obscured your vision, and you have obscured its vision. So let us know if it does anything, Shane. Give the thumbs up.

You've got our eyes in the bedroom. No worries, boys. We've got this. Loose lips sink wraiths. You can also move if you'd like, just if you want to stand next to anyone in particular or anything like that. I'm going to hang out with old mate Gloom

just because he's weak. Yeah, he needs protection. Gloom is struggling to get out of his sleeping bag. And I'm like, it's okay. And as that happens, a bit of ant blood from my head spills out of his head. And Gloom faints. Just wrap him up in the sleeping bag. Bit of ant blood from my head. Scalls out his head. And glooms. Faints.

Just wrap him up in a sleeping bag. Hopefully the wraith won't eat him. Just won't know he exists. Okay, Anton, it's your turn. I'd like to cast Mirror Image on myself. All right. Three Antons appear. It's 1d4 plus one, Adam.

Plus my caster level. How many of me are there? With a maximum of 8. Why are you giving me dirties? 5. Anton's appear. That's 6, including me. Nice. Zip boys. Would you like to move?

We'll charge through the darkness. Yeah. Are we just going to get lost? But look, now I've given him a one in six chance of touching me. That's true. Would you be in the center of these guys? I think I can move through them. I can swap between them so that he's confused.

Oh, nice. So if he picks me out, I can be like, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Which one am I? It's the ball and cup game for a human. All right, all right. Roll up, roll up. Which roll up roll up which one am i which one am i the rain gets a nickel the wraith just inherently knows you like i do not like how happy adam is oh so i remember when we were talking about the shadow sand yeah i said it

was very cold and could drain the heat out of you uh-oh oh no you charge on onto the Shadow Sand, and as soon as you step onto it, you realize the mistake you have made. Why was I born dumb? For just one dollar a day. Dang it. Are they all just gonna disappear? They are all just gonna disappear. Anton, you take eight points of damage.

Oh boy. Okay. Putting you on 12 hit points. And your five illusionary Antons disappear. You need more protection than Gloom. Fuck. I do, though. Like, Gloom at least isn't charging into a fight.

Like, if I'm anywhere near combat, I will die. He's so squishy. It's good. I like it. It's why he gave you like distant spells and you're like, no, no, no. I got rid of him real quick. Shane! Alright, can I like move to where Anton is? Can I grab him

and just fling him back? He's too far in. You son of a bitch. You dumb son of a bitch. It's good. It's good. It's good. Alright, I'm going to knight challenge Wraith. Yeah? Yeah. Is that a turn or anything? No, that's a swift... Yeah, you can do that in the

rest of your turn as well. Alright, boy, let's do this. Bang my shield with my sword and just get in there. You want to charge the Wraith? Yeah, I know it's going to hurt me, but I've got to get this dickhead protected. As I see this happening, can I interject? Yeah, go ahead.

Can I say, I'm pretty sure non-magical attacks don't hurt the wraith. Your sword is magical. And I say, well, I guess I learned something. Your magical attacks, if you shoot a bolt of energy at him, it'll do full damage and just be fine. His sword has a... Because it's a magical sword, but it's not pure magic, it has a 50-50 chance. Okay, so where's the Wraith?

Where's Anton? Where am I? If you want to give me a bit of an idea. It would be Wraith... It's like a line, I don't need to draw a picture. It's Wraith, maybe like a line, I don't need to draw a picture It's Wraith Maybe 40 feet, Anton The end of the shadow sand

You and then everyone else So how much distance is it Between me and Anton And Anton is about 15 feet Man you I went Guns blazing as they say Alright I'm going to try and get Towards Anton I judge for I went in. Guns blazing, as they say. Yeah. All right.

I'm going to try and get towards Anton. All right. Yeah. Take some damage. Cheers, biggies. You take one point of cold damage. You take one. I take a hot eight.

And from a percentage of full HP, like, that's massive. That's, oh, man. I'm nearly half. His total is 56. His total is 20. Good. Would you charge in? I forgot the sand was there.

No, but even if it wasn't there, why would you charge in? Actually, you can't see, Anton. He's in the... Oh no, you can see, Anton. He's in the darkness. Anton, you can't see. I'm blind. Yeah, I'm here. So you're blind and cold. And alone. Get behind me and then just run'm blind. I'm like, yeah, I'm here. You're blind and cold. And alone. Get behind me and then just run that way.

Eyes are closed, Anton. Close? Come on. Don't make me nearly die again. Once again. Darkness upon darkness approaches you. Oh, no. The wreath reaches out.

Oh, shit. Ah! Please. No. I only want to wreath reaches out. Fuck off. Oh, shit. Ah! Please. No. I only want to... What's your constitution now? Oh, if it kills you, you become one. Can I just play as one?

No. Damn it. If you become one, they have to fight you as well. My constitution is 12, so it will take you down to zero. Oh, jeez. Oh. I guess you're playing some Lillip thanks for playing Anton so it goes out of the 12

not the 1 4 points of constitution so you're on 8 which gives you a modifier of negative 1 which means that your maximum hit points go down by 2 times 4 is 8 so your maximum hit points go down by two times four is eight.

So your maximum hit points are now 12. Your current hit points are now 12 minus eight is four. Fuck. If I move in the sand, do I get damaged again? You will take damage one more time before leaving. You're an idiot. again you will take damage one more time before leaving you're an idiot and then when your body falls over unconscious and lies in the cold cold sand every round you will take damage and not just cold sand but cold dark sand oh man both the shadow sand and the wraith will turn you into a wraith. They both have the power. Fuck, I love this game. Okay.

Jackson. Double wraith. Alright. Pick you up. Then it's Lilip's turn. She moves. Heal me! I have a clamber on my back. I guess they just hear that. Heal me! I once again become

stuck. Lilip looks you squim in the eyes, rolls her eyes, and then charges in. I roll back, by the way. This is my arc. I'm starting to love an elf. That's truly beautiful. How's the list?

Lows. God damn it! From somewhere else in the darkness, you hear Lilip yelling, I can't find you. Where are you? Here. I'm here.

I'm like, all right. So you're going to take a left. Not until our next turn. Then a right. Then here you are. Squim. Can I see Anton? You cannot.

You know that they're in the darkness with a listen check or with a roll. Actually, you know what? I'll do that now. Also, you can dispel your darkness at any oh yeah you can all right and that's not a whole turn yeah and then you can just do it again if you want because you got those spells infinitely okay but is it a whole turn if i dispel the darkness you're good all right cool it'll be a turn to do it again well i i'll dispel the darkness all right you can You can all see again. And I'm going to throw my... Can I throw my grappling hook at Anton

and try and pull him off the sand? Or will that embed in him? Do you have armor that I can hook into? Oh, shit. Wait, do I? No, you do not. Okay, so you are just a Shireling hobbit. You're just like in a fiddle-dee-dee.

Oh, boy, I forgot you were a hobbit. You're tiny. You're punishing a child man. I'm in strife right now. There goes my grappling hook thing. That was clever though. You could try. Not many. I don't want to be responsible for killing you. That's Adam's job.

And gosh, do I love my job. Well then I'm just going to go attack and then I'm just going to do a classic Eldritch Blast at the wraith. Yeah, all right. Bzzap. You fire a bolt of magic, a bolt of magical energy. It strikes the creature. That was the other reverse angle of the impact.

Yeah. Eight points of damage. Eight points of damage. Eight points of damage. It does not die. Yeah. But you have hurt the wraith. Nice. That's my wraith pain sound.

Something like that, maybe. Anton. So, first things first. So, it's a fortitude save. If you fail the save, you take the damage. So, you're unconscious. Well, let's find out. Gosh, are you?

Oh, happy days. Negative two. Why? What's the F again? Negative ten? Negative ten, yeah. All right, negative ten. But I'll take damage every turn, lest someone kills me.

Anton falls unconscious. Lilip's aware of where I am now, though. Yeah, Lilip can see you. I was going to ask, and this is just from my knowledge later on So prestidigitation It's assuming you're still around later on That's an assumption And with prestidigitation

I can just like make business happen Could I use prestidigitation to send like The sand all around me so that I fall Through the cold sand No Damn It doesn't matter now. I'm like, oh, she's anyway.

Shane? I've got another cue. You want to pull a sneaky? Lillip probably has it on her turn. Unless she hates Anton. I'm going to try and distract the race and

try and smack with my shield. Shield or sword? Shield will just go through it, guaranteed. Sword has a 50-50 chance. All right, dab with my sword. You move maybe a little around it so that to turn to focus on you, it has to turn away from Anton. Thank you.

You hit it. Oh, well, hang on. Sorry. Hold the phone. Heyselos. Heys. Heys? Hey, you did. Sorry. Hold the phone. Heyselos. Heys? Hey, you did. Hey.

Good as. Hey, Macarena. And? You deal... Why'd you deal so much damage? Eight damage. Okay, the same amount of damage. That's still good.

My maximum damage I can inflict is six. Whose fault is that? You can't inflict any damage and you have no health. Who gave up a max damage 24 spell for fucking ventriloquism? So you can throw your fucking voice. Have you used ventriloquism? I have not had an opportunity. You know halflings get a racial bonus to do it non-magically?

I was not aware. Now I am. Oh, I'll come into my own, don't you worry. Will you? Will you just? Are you aware of what this adventure is? You've started yourself out as a funny, happy-go-lucky motherfucker. I'm doing an old-fashioned dungeon crawl, motherfucker.

I'll be right. We got Lollip. Uh-huh. I'm doing an old-fashioned dungeon crawl, motherfucker. I'll be right. We got Lillip. Speaking of which. She's just your IV. She's just following you. Pretty much. All right. So, Shane, that was your turn.

It's the creature's turn now. The wraith. And I'm pretty sure it does not care about your armor. And it does not. Oh, that's rude. Oh, that sucks. Oh, not. Oh, that's rude. Oh, that sucks. Oh, wait, constitution.

Oh, no. You need that. I need that. That's why it's my, well, that's one of my highest stats. Oh, you are a very, very lucky boy. One point was all that separated you. It reaches out, and you're like, no, I got this. Its hand goes through your shield, and you're like, yeah.

Terror makes you jump back a little bit and so it misses you when it tries to grab you. And Lilip. Lilip moves over to... Yeah, she's fine. She moves over to you, Anton, and heals you. Why was I the only one taking damage from this cold sand? Fortitude saving throw.

Oh, actually, no, you're right. Shane, you should have... That's right. Shane, you're fine. Pulling everyone down with... That's right. Shane, you're fine. Pulling everyone down with me. That's right. I'm the cold side. No, you're all right.

Yeah, you can fire from the edge. So you recover 13 points, which puts you at 12 hit points total. Now to get damaged again. Oh, you're at full hit points. Full hit points of 12. Oh, I want to drop you to like one hit. Oh, no thanks. That's my goal for today.

Can you heal constitution damage? Lilip can, but slowly. Jesus. Fuck my life. That's fine. Then it becomes Squim's turn again. I am going to try and keep the wraith

down with an earthen grasp, which I summon from the sand and I encourage it to crush the wraith down with an earthen grasp, which I summon from the sand and I encourage it to crush the wraith and maybe take some damage. The earthen grasp has a 50-50 chance. It's not the same as a pure magical bolt because it's made of... It's magically infused, but it's actually still

just earth, so it's got that 50-50 chance. Okay, sure. And gosh, if it misses, will it go after an ally? Is Anton gonna die? He's perfect! Again. It's fine. Sorry, guys, I might have just killed. It's fine, it's fine. It's alright. It's fine. Highs or lows?

I'm getting a highs. Lucky boy! Oh, thank god. A fist made out of sand bursts out of the earth, grabs the wraith, and holds it fast. Fantasy is awesome. Fantasy is cool. It's a blast.

Anton, it's your turn. You take. Oh my god. Lillip, just stay on me. Four points of damage. Please leave. I'm dry! I would have left last turn. What do you do?

Can I leave the sand? Yeah you're out Oh thank god Oh my fucking god Do you have like a wand? I got something I want to use but I can't Can I? Can I use an attack still? Yeah you can still attack

Disrupt undead A beam of pure energy Strikes nothing an attack still? Yeah, you can still attack. Okay, disrupt undead. It's a ray. A beam of pure energy strikes nothing. I'm disrupting you, mate. Like the last time you fired a ray. You probably just hit the ray. You've done some damage.

You're hurting it. Where did I hit it? Not you. It's just the slow process. It's just the slow process. It's the slope, not you. It's just the slow process. It's just the slow process. It's the slow. You've got the cool kid. Shane? Want to keep fighting?

Yeah, I'll keep trying to get distracted. Kind of go, all right, come on, boys. Highs or lows? Highs. I'm sorry, but your sword goes through the head without passing through, without dealing any damage. Fucking got. Nah, nah, nah, didn't bollocks.

It's all right. It's turn. It's still just struggling to get out. Nice. Good on you. Lilip. Heal me a bit more. Actually, she's going to spend a turn outside.

She tries to grab the creature. Lilip, dumb. An idiot. What? She holds on to it. You can see that she's magically charged her hands with some sort of spell. Classic Lilip. That's a classic Lilip move.

I'm going to marry this girl. 13 points of damage to it. More useful than our sorcerer. I'm fine. After she does that, though, she looks to you, Shane, and she says, I'm out of magic. I used up all her spells. Okay, and...

Does she have a magical mace or something that she's weaponed? She's got to leave now. There's nothing she can do. No worries, mate. I've got this. I'm just going to Eldritch Blast him. Cool. Time to take the trap and knock it down.

Actually, you know what you should Actually, no, you should do... Oh, you could do the darkness, because no one's there, but... Either or, like, it doesn't matter. Yeah, I'll just attack. I wanna kill this thing. Well, you hit, and you... Deal... Eight points of damage.

Hey! All right. Which... Oh, wait. Is he done? yeah you kill it the wraith just disappears into

air pretty much we probably should have camped oh no wait you dismissed the grasping thing it doesn't attack it's a free action I assume you do that.

Yeah. I'm like, thanks, Han. We're good. Give it a high five. Give us a little wave. A little thumbs up. And a high five. Don't high five it.

It attacks you as well. If it doesn't have an enemy to target it, just target whoever's next to it. God. Bastard. All right. He's back. Cool.

So, plan. Meeting. Let's maybe camp away from this sand. Yes, it is very cold. Yeah. I don't know why we didn't do that in the first place, to be honest. I'm so glad you didn't, though. Like, we're idiots.

Lilip, I've taken some terrible permanent damage. Possibly you can fix me right there. Tomorrow we can begin. permanent damage. Possibly you can fix me right there. Tomorrow we can begin. Begin you say? How long do you project it will take? It depends. The magic that I

use is not very powerful. So I could get it done in one go or it could be over a couple days. All right. Cool. All right. Anton.

Yes. Is this kind of like a moment of our performance review? Performance review. All right. So look. Lilip goes to 10 to gloom. He fainted at the beginning, if you'll recall. All right.

So it's 1 a.m, whatever time it is now. Alright, so Anton, look at me. Okay. Alright, what am I wearing? You are wearing a mirror. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

What are you wearing? I'm wearing a cloak. Yeah. Yeah, you see, you see. So, when there's a potential enemy or something to maybe attack. Where do you think you should... What do you think you should do? Well, I put it to you that my strategy would have worked had I remembered that the sand would damage me.

Yeah. Then I would have not run in. Yeah, but you get there, and then what? Then I use one of my many spells. Okay. I attempt to daze the enemy. You can do that. Okay. I tempt today's enemy. You can do that. Yeah.

You have to be close to him, yeah. I mean, I suppose not. I don't mean to question that you're beautiful and that you're magical. Thank you. Or they're a boy. That's not a dispute. However, do you have any offensive attacks? I can do some things, yeah.

I have rays, but apparently my aim is garbage. Twice. You got a two. I got a two. You're right. So I will take your notes on board. Maybe stay behind me. Let me give you some advice as to what a performance review.

You must provide me with what is known as a compliment sandwich. All right. All I received was M. Not Z. All right. Sorry. That's on me. That's my bad.

So compliment, compliment. And we sing a song of camaraderie. You are beautiful. Okay. Then what we said. Yes. And you are very magic. You tanked that damage pretty well, Lil Obsess.

Thank you. I mean, that could have been a dedicated fighter taking that damage. And it's good that our dedicated fighter did not take that damage. Thank you for saving me the damage. You're welcome. fighter taking that damage and it's good that our dedicated fighter did not thank you for saving me that damn you're away I gotta sleep with a big smoke more drama to the fight everyone was set to Darrow it on the edge of their seat I think your rooster yes it has a very nice plumage is very lovely looking and a beautiful name Romeo it's great lovely very lovely looking. And a beautiful name.

Romeo. It's great. Very lovely. He's a bit of a Luthier amongst the hands. Nah. Ah. I get it now. So, um... No, I'll take it on board.

Yeah, no. I'll take it on board. If you want to have anything against us, or we did... No, you did fine. Wonderful. No, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll point to you.

Gloom, though, just passed out like a dickhead. Is that the man as... Like, is he sick? He hired you guys to fight for him. He's not a fighter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. image of him as an old man as well. I mean, I've seen him, of course, because we are existing side by side. We are alive. He's a professor. I kind of imagine him looking like Indiana Jones if you took the muscles out. I'm kind of picturing him as Marlon Brando in The Island of

Dr. Moreau, but like with all of the fat sucked out of him. Oh man, that's a look. I also imagine, because tieflings have horns, I imagine he just has knobs. Like, I'm not imagining full proud ram horns, just two little, like, little Darth Mauls just at the front.

Do you ever get ones that have little giraffe horns? No, that'd be cute. Giraffe horns are very odd looking. They are. Do they use them, or are they just like, what, just like there? What are they for? I don't fucking know. What's the sign?

What's a giraffe's horns for? Yeah, right? Because they attack each other with their necks. Like a fork for getting leaves? I think you, by Jove, you've done it. Maybe. Who knows? Giraffes are a mystery.

I tell you what, though, I sure do miss Orpona. Those princesses at the retreat. Gonna hit some elven mattress tonight. Oh, yeah. Coil that leaf and take lots of notes about the exposition. So, I have the next morning. Lilup addresses you. I have good news and I have bad news

I would like the good news first It's the big D It's ability drain I cannot heal this What? For the rest of this adventure you have 12 hit points Lilip how will I survive? Lilip

This is not a joke! Just, uh... Jack, take note on how Lilip is acting. Just her character. Just for some reason. Okay. Yeah. This is this tiny Frenchman with no armor.

No armor and terrible spells terrible spells facing his own mortality was we're like adventure yeah i thought she could heal it but she can't i just looked it up while you guys were talking what do i need to kim you need a more powerful cleric she says i'm so i'm sorry she puts like a hand on your shoulder. My God. So, yeah. Stay in the back. Maybe with Gloom. Keep Gloom company. I might just keep Gloom company.

I don't know the ways to do this to you. That's a weird thing to say, Lillip. I wasn't Lillip. That was Adam. No, that was both. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Well, severely shaken. Right, mate. Well, you're all on full hit points. That's pretty good. Uh oh Well Severely shaken

Right mate Well you're all on full hit points That's pretty good Well it didn't take much for you to get there Give me an eraser please Max HP Oh it's a hot 12 mate Is there anything like spells that can like

Boost that? Raise it? Like an enemy that'll give me more? There's no enemy that gives you constitution Is there like a reverse wraith? Yeah. Like a cleric, I guess, is what you want. All right, then.

Oh, you know what she can do? She can temporarily boost. That is your job now, Lilip. That'd be like all of her spells in a day, just doing that. It's fine. I'm like, behind Anton's shoulder, like shaking my head. Like, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. It's, uh... It's fine. I'm like, behind, yeah, Anton's shoulder, like, shaking my head, like, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't, don't do that. It's fine. Not the problem. Sometimes D&D just makes me want to cry with happiness. Not the problem, I'm fine. Not that I can't permanently dab in that. Alright, um... What does it look like? Hollowed. You look like you've become, like, hollowed out a little.

Wait, wait, what? He looks thinner. You can see bone and there's less muscle mass on him. Are you hungry? No. His cheeks are gaunt. You don't look great, man. Not gonna lie, you don't look good. Like Cell from Dragon Ball Z came along and did a little bit of a number to you. This is finally like, just punishment. I mean, you could have been useful. I could have been.

Now I will be a burden. And what a burden. With that in mind, we jump on off. Just how much of a burden will Anton be? Find out next time on Buried Beneath, a D&Dist for Nerds adventure.

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