D&D is For Nerds - Cult & Roses Chapter 1: What Happened to Jocelyn Solverson?

Episode Date: May 30, 2026

As if the city of Fairburn Point didn’t have enough problems, tragedy has struck the prominent Solverson Family. Their daughter, Jocelyn Solverson has gone missing and in a city so awash with darkness, the poor girl could be anywhere. Leopold’s Errant Mercenaries have sent their most discrete agents to solve the problem: the self-serious Ephraim Red, the ever-distracted Sticks and her goldfish Twigs, and Tyke Baphammer a textbook Dwarf. There’s always a chance that Jocelyn has merely run off with a boy, but in the city of Fairburn Point, nothing is ever so simple.If you want to hear more of Ellie Morris and Henry Shields go check out the Hell or High Rollers Podcast!And if you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fairburn Point is a city famous for two things. Fish and coal. It is famous for these two because that is all they export, because people born in Fairburn Point tend to spend their entire lives here, and people who travel to Fairbarn Point don't tend to leave. It is also the only major city in the nation of Kandor to not be connected via the King's Road, which is how they prefer it.

As far as they are concerned, fish and coal goes out, And in exchange, nothing disturbs their solitude. You are members of Leopold's errant mercenaries, a group famous for two things. Discretion and a willingness to get your hands dirty. Everything okay, Jack? I don't know where my pencil is. Go on.

Do you need... You are here in foot... Wait. Am I sitting on it? I have a pencil case. Guys, I'm prepared. Oh, my God. Tadda.

Officially my favorite. They're never this prepared. This prepared being brought their own pencil. You are here in Fairbairn Point to speak with Sir Lewis Solverson and his wife, Lady Alyssa, Solverson, about their daughter. Rumour is that the child has run off with a heretical sect of priests. You have an appointment with them at their estate in town, and the hour steadily approaches. You have been informed the time is of the essence. Who are you?

Please, Jackson, would you like to begin? I've got to think of a voice. I kind of, maybe something like this. I am Ephraim Red. I like to think I'm sort of like a fixer, you know, like a kind of gentleman, an older gentleman, perhaps somewhere in my 60s, tall, lithe, and blind. Does sunglasses exist?

We can say they do for this. Frosted glasses. Does that please smoke? Does that please you? You know, like they got that smoked, like smoked glass. Yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah. They can do, what is it, for inner church?

Yeah, lead-lined. Yeah. Perfect. I have stained glass sunglasses. Oh, amazing. That's awesome. Do they have a little image on them? Yeah.

Uh, yes. Little detailed stained glasses. Yeah. In my detailed stained glasses, I have a saint being anointed in one. And then the same saint being beheaded in the other. Okay. So nice. Wow.

Those are, but you have to get really close to notice. Otherwise, it just looks like staying. glass. Yeah, and I have a cane and, yeah, I'm wearing a, you know, like a nice suit and I'm a fighter, a champion specifically. And I'm neutral evil. Would you like any more details? Neutral evil is interesting.

Evil? Yeah, neutral evil. Well, I'm a hitman. Yeah, I guess we're all mercenaries, aren't like? We're all him. Yeah. You don't have to be evil, but it... But it helps. Okay, we're evil. No, let's go for it.

Anyone else? Who wants to be next? Yeah, I would go. Okay, so kind of shambling up from behind is a small kind of bundle of like cloths and and like pages. And yeah, like I think she's got a lot of like books kind of coming out of every pocket of her cloak. And she's a small wizard woman. She's quite dishevelled. She's got kind of pencils coming out of her hair, some like kind of broken glasses. And yeah, she's got kind of reddish hair.

Nice. Hell yeah. What's your name? And my name is sticks. Stick. One, like share. Just sticks. She's very forgetful, and I genuinely think she has forgotten her second name.

So she's like, sticks. She's going with like a, yeah, she's going with a share thing, but it really is because she forgets everything. Great. Which is where she takes copious notes because she's incredibly forgetful. Like a goldfish. Oh. And she also carries a goldfish.

She has a pet goldfish in a little baggie. Because they export fish, right? Yeah, that's true. Absolutely. So she's got her gold fist, which is called twigs. Twigs and twigs. Sticks and twigs. And they're best friends.

Nice. Yeah. And I am playing Tyke Baphammer. Oh. Tike Baphammer. I said it wrong. Baphammer? Baphammer.

Baphammer. Just call him Tyke. Baphammer. He's a hill dwarf, cleric, and a failed merchant. And I think he's wearing a lot of heavy armor, carrying a big warhammer. your classic dwarf and dwarf. Nice. A real dwarf's dwarf.

A real dwarf's dwarf. Can you say dwarf? This is what you think of. Yeah. Okay, cool. Perfect. Tike Babhammer and I think he talks like this. Oh, yeah.

Because he's basically a dwarf. Yeah, yeah. You see the theme here. And he's a dwarf. And he's good. He's good aligned. Oh, nice. He's a group.

And I think he's here to try and convert you guys. Because he's a cleric. So I think he's got to be. Oh, yeah. Yeah. In some way, a religious kind of good guy. Sure, absolutely. Dwarves typically worship their ancestors.

Is there a specific ancestor that you think Tyke are reveres over the others? His uncle Bert, who is still alive and lives on his. But he worships him, reveres him. He was like the first guy to ever show him a porn magazine. He really likes his uncle Bert. Okay. Yeah. He worships Bert.

You're a colorful cast and this is a dark story that we have that like today. I'm excited. So, you are passing through, or you have just passed through into Fairbairn Point through what's called the Fuelman's Gate. It's where, as I said previously, fish and coal. It's where most of the coal gets exported out of Fairbairn Point. And the Fuelman's Gate, you can see it's covered in soot. It's stained black from the millions of tons that have passed through. here, the many wagons

trundling their way inwards. As you come in as well, you can see that there are guards here checking papers for anyone they don't recognize, which the three of you would mark as unusual. That causes a lot as a bureaucratic nightmare that they are making

for themselves. Okay, I turn to Six and Tiger, I say, do you have your papers? Oh, um, yes. Uh, yes. She's got a list. Yeah. I'm going with it. You have a lot of papers.

Will you be able to find them in time? I think I have this. I think I have this. Just give me a second. And she just rummages around and just like takes out of time. Do you have all of our papers? I think so, unless I left them on the train. And yeah, maybe she produces a couple of papers.

Sure. Are they the papers? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. They're the papers. We're got them. I mean, you know what?

We were right to do it. You're our administrator. Yeah. The woman who's forgotten her last name, we're like, yeah, we'll give them. I think, are these them? And she gives you like a few options each and you can look and see. Some options. I'll pick a random, these will be my papers today.

It's a receipt for fish food. Good. Do we think it's the kind of thing where we will need, it'll be beneficial to us to give a fake identity? Yeah. Oh, good question. You know what? Actually, as you're watching, getting closer and closer in the line towards where papers are being checked, You notice that obviously, as I said previously, they're checking anyone who they don't recognize.

But beyond that, you can see specifically that mercenary or adventurer types, it looks like they're giving extra scrutiny to them. You think giving a fake name and saying that you're not mercenaries might actually help you here. Are there any large groups of people that we could, like, slot on in with? Yeah, that's a good idea. Is there a group of schoolchildren? Some kind of, yeah. Out on a day trip. A school trip.

Not a group of children per se. But there is a, you would see, like, a large wagon, a series of wagons coming in that are presumably coming here. They're empty now, but they're probably going to be picking up coal or something to travel onwards. And that caravan has a bunch of guards with it. You think among them you might have, or if you trick people into believing you're with them, you might have an easier time. Is it the kind of thing where it's like, say, three, like, carriages, and we could just slot ourselves in between, like, two of them to, like, so that...

I don't want to the people in the carriages to be like, who are you? Yeah. But if we slot ourselves in between them, then people just might assume. All right. So, our... I'll see you... Are you about to... Yeah, please, go on.

Sorry, I was going to say, do I have any spells that I can, like, shield us, but let's carry on. I'm not going to... No, no, by all means, if you want to flip through. Yeah, what are you got? Do I have? Disguise self? In your spellbook, you would definitely have the spell, disguised self. Yeah.

If you don't have it prepared, I will allow you to cast it, but it'll require like a role because you're like, oh, I haven't, nothing's prepared for this spell. I assume your spell book is spread out across your entire coat. Yeah, true. Okay, well, yeah, do we want to, well, could I disguise, I can only disguise myself. I can't disguise. Yeah, we're too low level to be able to do. Yeah.

Yeah. I have a spell called Ogg's Comical Door. What the fuck is that? I didn't realize a sign. That's a spell I made. I see. Now, let's use that. Ogg's comical door is a short-range teleportation spell, which could bypass this entirely.

The problem is it's a lot lower level than it should be. But the way it works is you create a door, and the door is, you know, you open it, you can step through, that's how the teleportation works. But because it's a lower level than it should. should be, there is a 50-50 chance that the door is locked, and you can't open it if it's locked. Okay. Would you like to try casting that? Yes. Okay, hell yeah. You, maybe you, you know, hide yourselves a bit from the arts. Okay, yeah, we're behind a bush. Yeah. So, call it. What's it? What's the range on this thing? Like, what, when you say short range? It would be 120 feet. Oh, that's enough to get you. That's plenty. Yeah, enough to get you inside.

Nobody, everyone. We're going to use Ogg's comical door. Not again. Oh, every time. No. Always, it's always locked. Would you like to, the door is described as being ornate? Would you like to describe what your door looks like? Oh yeah, it's inlaid with gold filigree. Yeah. Showing a beautiful rendition of the face of Uncle Bert.

Like holding a beer. Seems like a nice guy. Forgot about Uncle Bert. She is. Odds or evens? Odds. Odds? You sure about that?

Evens. Evens? You don't move for it! That's great. You've never got a game of D&D without a book. you already know he's tricking. And your instincts are correct. Recently, we...

We started doing the Monty Hall problem where he'll go... Because sometimes he does like a luck check where he rolls a dice and we have to decide whether it's highs or lows. But he started to introduce Mids and then he does the Monty Hall problem where he goes, well, I've removed one of the bad ones. Oh, dear. So, evens, you open... Oh, sorry, you test the doorknob and with a click, it unlatches and opens.

Oh, okay. Wow, you did it. I'm not sure what are you? Through the door, everyone. I think I'm annoyed because it hasn't worked so many times. And now that it's worked once, he's going to be talking about how good it is. Yeah, that's true. We'll never hear the end of this.

I placed the other side of the teleportation door 100 feet in the air. Oh! A hundred feet in the air means you go like nowhere. 20 feet forward, 100 feet up. What? No, not that really. Okay, all right. Just about, you might have just calculating.

Now, if you didn't get past the wall, how far you fall. Okay, you place it somewhere logically on the other side of the wall. Maybe it's, you know, a little bit off the ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we have to step down. Yeah. Uh-huh. And you bypass the security checkpoint entirely.

You're inside Fairbone Point. Wow, Tyke. Well done. I was about to disguise myself as a lump of coal. Waste of time. I'm going to be using this Ogg's magical door spell for every single encounter we come across. Do you prepare to lose 50% of your work as a DM?

I'm very excited to play this game of odds or evens with you. Yeah, yeah, lose fair. 50% of my job is trying to trick you into saying the wrong one. Don't worry about that. Do we have like a location that we need to head to to to speak to these people? You know you're looking for the Solveson estate, and you've been given, like, broadly speaking, where in town you can find it. As you make your way into town, maybe just looking back over your shoulder, you double check to make sure the guards at the checkpoint haven't spotted you. And you, sure enough, you look like you're safely inside the city.

You do very quickly spot that some of the guards are wearing the insignia of Fairburn Point, which is a fish leaping over a rock. but some of the guards have a very different insignia. It's a rose beneath a bed of flames and you're not sure what that's about but that is highly irregular. So it's not familiar to us at all? No, you don't know this insignia. A rose beneath a bed of flames.

You're burning rose. Oh, I think that's a band. I think, is that some kind of band? Rose under fire. You have rose fire. Is it a band tea? That is a familiar name. You have rose under fire.

I think I've heard of them. She just likes to feel like she knows everything and when she doesn't know something, she maybe makes up what it is, just to feel and control. Is it a compulsive liar? She's a compulsive liar. She's a pathological liar, yeah, sure. You make your way towards what you quickly work out is the wealthy part of town.

The northern part of Fairburn Point, everything's covered in soot, and some things are covered in ash as well from the incredible amount of coal that this town produces. The southern end, near where the docks are, stinks of fish. But you make your way to a place that neither stinks of fish, nor. is covered in Switzerland. Oh, my God. We're winning. Hell, nice.

The Solveson Estate, and you can tell it as such, because of a huge wireframe door gate, I should say, out the front, that has Solveson in the framing of it. You can see the Solvison Estate has a huge lawn out the front. The fields of this lawn have been set up for, you can see there is like a horse racing area, place for dressage, and you can see there is a huge lake in the center of the field as well.

a bridge stretches over the lake and reaches from the gate to the house itself, to the manor. There's some house guards here who greet you at the gate. Have we been given like a code word? Or like if we say we're from Leopold's mercenaries, that's not going to raise the alarm or anything? You probably, actually, there's a good point. You probably have been given a code word. You can, Leopold's errant mercenaries would have assigned you a code word. You can pick what it is and what the counterphrase is.

Ah, does anyone remember the code word? I lean down, I remember it. Yeah. I say bananas, and they say foster. Bananas Foster. It's a dessert where you light a bunch of bananas on fire. Oh, wow. Okay.

All right. The guard responds with Foster, and you can see he considers for a moment, thinks for a moment, and then he says, one moment. And he leaves and comes back with, you can tell immediate, it's a squire. He's wearing kind of like a little pompous sort of uniform. The squire as he walks, you see his eyes. Yeah. A very strange feature. Rather than regular pupils, you can see both of his eyes are shaped in blooming roses. Whoa! Okay. That's so cool.

You can't see this at all. Yeah, I am. I'm blind. I'm fine. You can't see this, yeah. Is he normal, I ask? What are his eyes like? This man is extremely unnormal. No, I don't say anything. Wow, okay. Yeah, we, I just kind of, yeah, peer a bit closer towards him.

The gate, the guards finally open the gate and the squire approaches you and asks, are you from the errand to mercenaries? Yes. All right. I am Master Locklear. Please follow me. The Sir and Lady Solvisoner will soon see you. you. Fantastic.

Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. As he walks you through the beginning of the estate, you can see he very cautiously eyes the lake and he stops before you step onto the bridge. He, like, looks on both sides of the bridge very quickly. And then looking back at you, he gestures for you to follow him over. Is there something in the lake? No, he says, in a very unconvincing response.

Okay. She's also very gullible. Maybe I put my hand on his shoulder as we walk and I say, son, if there's something in the lake we should know about, who should tell us? Nothing in the lake, he says. Once again, very unconvincingly. Do I think, from his voice, can I discern if he's like afraid of it or is he like guilty or is he like, yeah, like, what's the, what's his... He looks afraid. He looks afraid.

Yeah. Oh, wow. Can I cast a test? Well, you sense that he's afraid. He doesn't look afraid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, can you? He smells afraid.

Yeah. I smell the sour sweat on his neck. Can I cast Detect Good or Evil? Detect evil. Sure, absolutely. Obviously, I'll detect you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, obviously, as always, look of a bonfire in the night.

What's your character's name? Ephraim. Ephraim lights up under a detect evil. Yeah. The Squire, if you detect evil from him, you would get a faint aura of evil, kind of wafted. over him gently. So, you get the impression that it's not coming from him, but he is acting as like a magical conduit of some sort. Okay. Wow. You also get, it's, you get a very similar, from the lake itself, you get a very, not similar, sorry, you get a very different, but also

evil energy coming off it. Once again, it feels like a conduit, but these are two very different Oras. It's two different but distinctly evil things. Okay. Okay. Yeah. We're in some sort of evil melange here. What are you sensing, Tyke? There's evil around us and in front of us, there's evil sort of seeping through the air here. Oh, well, it's not the first time we've dealt with evil. I mean, we are evil. You are evil. Well, yeah, that's true. Yeah. But we're going to change that, though. You're both going to. Don't buddy. We're working on it. You're going to. I've been assigned you guys. Oh man, it's long-suffering.

You enter into the Solverson estate, and the squire leads you to a drawing room, which he opens the door for you and gestures for you to enter, but he does not himself enter. Inside through the doorway, you can see, presumably, the knight and the Lady Solvison. Lady Solverson is sitting kind of almost comatose in an armchair, staring into the fireplace of the drawing room, which is not lit. Sir Solverson is pacing back and forth in front of that fireplace. When the doors open, he stops and looks over expectantly at the three of you. We are here representing Leopold's mercenaries. My name is Ephraim Red. This is sticks. Antwigs. And twigs. Holds up the fish. Goldfish. Of course. And this is Tyke Baphammer.

Greetings. And he bows. I believe... Sir Solverson, Bavis. in response. Perhaps I should have bowed. I am, of course, so Solverson, are you aware that a fish in a bag will not live long?

Oh, really? It needs air, doesn't it? She just opens the bag and wafts some air into it. Does the little golfish... Please, come in. Close the door after you. No need for anyone else

to hear this. Oh, okay. Yeah, we close it all. I am, of course, Solverson. This is my wife. What do you know already? Just you forget her name? This is my wife.

No, I was thinking of the next thing I was going to say. I know my wife's name is Lady Alisa Solvers. Of course. Good old lady Alyssa Solverson. A woman whose name I remember. Yes, what do you know? What did Leopold's tell you? We were told that there's something wrong with your daughter.

She's run off with a priest or something like that. Well, that is what we thought at first. Our daughter, our eldest, Jocelyn, two nights ago, went missing. From these premises? From these premises, indeed. Her room was empty in the morning, and at first we thought she had fled with a local boy, Eugene. You see, he says Eugene the way Lex Luthor would say Superman.

Okay. Some lower class trash, son of a fisherman. Also, apparently, a member of the cult of sale and salt. You have not heard of that. Okay. Yeah. We are unaware of this cult. Could you give us a brief overview?

I know little. There are some dooms, led by some doomsayer. there are a heretical branch of the temple of Ahealia Ahealia you would know is the goddess of the sea Okay Okay You if you want to learn more about this Anyway I believe I don't know if Eugene is involved directly

But I believe the cult may be involved We found Like I said we thought it was Eugene at first But then that morning after discovering her room empty We found one of the squires dead in the lawn. Oh. How had they been killed?

Strangled, it appeared. Oh my God. Please. Hold your daughter. 17. 17. Strangled by human hand? Well, that I cannot say.

You can, if you wish. I have spoken with the house of the dead. And the priests there will allow you to examine the body before they inter it. Oh, was your daughter acting out of character at all in the last few weeks? I would say yes. She had been acting or perhaps... Evil.

I would not say... Well, I would not say that. At first we thought she was just besotted with this boy, a teenage fancy. But perhaps it was more than that. Perhaps it was magics. Does she keep diaries? I don't know. If you wish, you can inspect her room.

Yes, I think, yes, we should do that. And... And then yesterday we received an anonymous letter delivered directly to the house. There was a ransom note demanding more than we have to pay. He says that and immediately sticks. You pick up on the fact that he, oh my God, you're so gullible though. You pick up on the fact that he is, when he says more than we have to pay, You get the impression that he's not telling you everything.

Yeah. Hmm, okay. How much did they ask for? It was an amount. Crazy amount. He ums and urs for a little bit. If you want, you can keep pushing him. He seems uncomfortable to respond, though.

Yeah. What do you think, guys, he seems uncomfortable to respond? I sense he's hiding something. How much are we being paid for this? That's a good question. What kind of a contract is this? Is it a high-paying one? or Leopold's, you don't know how much they're being paid,

but they are, Leopold's in turn, is paying you 500 gold upon successful. Wow, we need this. Not too bad. We need that money because we are, I think we're pretty poor, right? Yeah, yeah. We're down to our last wagon. We're living out of a wagon. We're living out of a wagon together.

We go from wagon to wagon. As we go, we shed wagons. We trade them as we go. Down to our last wagon. We need to get together 20 wagons so we can make our next journey. Live good again. Flush with wagons. Okay.

Well, maybe let's not push him, right? We need this money. I think it's not relevant. I mean, if it's not relevant to the job, who cares? We're here to do the job and get out, right, Tyke? Right. Yes, we'd like to inspect your daughter's room and maybe chat to this Eugene boy

and then perhaps see the body of the deceased guard. Well, I can escort you to my daughter's room. Jocelyn. I remember her name. He was meant to be upset, but I guess he once again came off as not knowing the woman in his life. Sorry, this is your acting choices. Upliterated. Apologies.

Yes, as I said, I've arranged with the house of the dead. You may go there and inspect the body. And if you wish, you can see the site of the murder as well. and then I can tell you where to find the temple of Aheelia. They might know more about the cult. Do you have the ransom note? He's forgotten me. He gives you the...

He quite obviously is hiding something when he says this. He says, I burnt it. Okay. What a weird choice. In the fireplace here? Yes. Does she? Do either of you have like a mending spell?

Hmm. Sure. Let's flip some pages here. Surely I would. I would. I've got... No, I have a locate object spell. Well, we'll keep that in our back pocket. I don't think it's in the fireplace. No, no, no, me neither.

I don't really have anything. Yeah. I'll just lie. Well, not to worry. I can cast a spell that will reform the ashes into the letter. Fantastic. He, Sir Solverson goes pale, like parchment white. And he says, I can pretty... much explained you exactly what it said.

Remember it's word for word, do you? Pretty much. Almost exactly, actually. It would be unnecessary for you to fix. I like lean across the table to him. If there are elements of this situation that you are keeping a secret for fear, perhaps, of retribution

onto yourself, worry not. We care not what you might be involved in. We're here to find your daughter and nothing else. All right. They didn't want money. They wanted a relic. I have limited access at the Temple of Ehelia, access to a chalice, very important religious relic.

They wanted the religious relic, but while I have access, it is not something I will give. And I cannot explain further, only to say that a much worse fate would before me and my family should I surrender this. Completely understand. I am a religious man myself. I would not give up. What are your holy objects type? I have Bert's bottle cap collection. And I have his old fishing hat here.

With a little hook on the front. It's lovely, isn't it? Yes, no, you do love that hat. Yes, Uncle Bert. Yes. Would you like to first inspect my daughter? Jocelyn. Sorry, I have two daughters.

Yes. What's the other one called? Penelope. Penelope. Well, I... I had two daughters. Oh, she gone as well. Oh, no.

Is there a queue of mercenaries outside? We need to get moving. There's a whole stream of them coming in to deal with the different problems. Penelope a few months ago was taken in a similar matter, a manner in a similar ransom note was given. Oh. You didn't connect to this? You still blame Eugene? Well, that's why I said at first we blamed Eugene.

but then that was when the death and the ransom note we deduced that it was something else. But because they keep asking for this chalice, we assume it might have something to do with the cult. Does the chelis have magical properties? I mean, other than it's religious. It supposedly, he says, and once again, you get that there's like some depth to this

that he's just skipping over. Supposedly it contains saltwater from Ihealia's domain itself, from the original sea. Right. The first one. Okay. Lovely.

Yeah. Yes. So your other daughter, your other daughter went missing months ago, was kidnapped. You've got her back? She's still gone. We refused to pay the ransom. Oh. Contracted the town.

The reason why I'm hiring you is we went through the town guard. And she was found face down at the pool in the temple of Ahealia. Okay. Well, that's something we maybe should have known before. we took the job. Right, so you're a daughter down already. And you lost the other one too. You didn't think to put a lock on the windows.

The guard, the house guard, it was doubled. You're gulls and rubbish. Well, that's okay. We are here. We are here to help and we promise we will bring your daughter back in one piece, if not two. One would be preferred. That's fine.

I'll note that down. One is preferred. One will be the goal. And I think we'll end. it there. Thank you so much for joining us. If people want to hear more of you, where can they do that? We have a podcast called Hell or High Rollers, which is set in D&D Hell, and there's multiple sequel series to that. You can find us on all podcast platforms, Hell or High Rollers. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Do you have like personal social medias or anything?

If you particularly like either of us, you can find us on social media. I'm Henry Shields. My name's Ellie Morris. Yeah, search us on Instagram or you'll find us tagged in all of the hello Hi Rolla stuff on our Instagram page. Great. Thank you. Thank you so much.