D&D is For Nerds - D&D is for James #1 An Unexpected Beginning

Episode Date: February 6, 2016

In which our heroes go looking for specifically chubby strange. We learn about some character traits, discuss working girl wages and meet out new employer. Hya gets a man killed, Buckle cuts his losses and Gurg doesn't understand relationships. So join us as we have a serious think in naming our three retainers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SansPens Radio, the password is password. Hey everyone, so Ali is still away, but our good friend James, or Mr. Sunday Movies, is here. Hello, it's me! So we're going to do D&D we'll just quickly go around the table. Everyone will describe their character and we'll go through your personality trait, your bond, your ideal and your flaw. And then I'll explain to you how those work in the game. Gotcha.

We'll start with Joel. Who are you playing? I'm playing Gerg Froats. He's a bit of... He's not smart. No, he's not. He's a half-orc ranger. His personality trait is that he's driven by a wanderlust.

So I guess he's just a little bit simple. So he's like, what's over there? I'll go over there then, yeah? Is that what that is? Just a real dumb guy. Just a super dumb dude. His ideal is might, the strongest I'm meant to rule. Go over there and kill shit.

So simple. Complicated idea for such a simple orc I am the last of my tribe and must continue them so I've got to find a wife so I'm going to go over there and find a strong wife and my floor is at Vance's the answer

so I'm going to go over there Kill everyone to get your wife Or kill your wife Yeah You're definitely going over there What happens from that to get your wife. Or kill your wife. Yeah. You're definitely going over there. How you interpret your fucking roleplaying statistics

is up to you. If you choose that, that's what's gonna happen. That's fine. James? I am Buckle Tough Nickass, named by Jackson. Yeah. I wish I had thought of it.

Rogue, Halfling, brackets Lightfoot. Oh, yeah, there are two different types of Halflings. Yeah, the Quick kind. Halflings are like Hobbits as well, just an FYI. Yeah, sorry, go on. I've seen all the Hobbit movies. Yeah, you're that. All an FYI. Yeah. Sorry, go on. I've seen all the Hobbit movies. Yeah, you're that. All 15 of them.

Personality traits. I always have a plan when things go wrong. Doesn't specify good or bad. Ideals. People are unloyal to my friends, not ideals. Bonds. Something important was taken from me. And flaws, which like I said before the show, not really a flaw.

I turn, tell, and run when things look bad. Just like a good plan in case of... Basically, it was selected so that you could have two personality traits. Run when things go south. And finally... Can we kill each other? Can we kill each other?

If we'd like to. If you want, we can begin the game and you can be like, Adam, I'd like to stab Jackson in the back. In fact, if you could. This is like Streets of Rage where you turn on where you can hit each other. Yeah, yeah. We've gone for like two player plus.

Awesome. Like in Joe and Mac. You can do anything your heart desires and I allow. Okay, good. Those are your limitations. All right. So, Jackson. heart desires and I allow them alright so I'm playing Hjalungfellor and I'm going to be doing a Scottish Brogue for the whole series

yeah it's going to be amazing I'm a knight, I'm a human, I'm a fighter I'm the best my personality traits is that the common folk love me for my generosity my generosity. My generosity in doing things that will eventually benefit me.

My ideal is that family blood runs thicker than water. So I guess I love my family wherever they may be. This is my bond. The common folk must see me as a hero. So if they see me as anything less shit's about to go down and my flaw is that in fact the world does revolve around me, which it does so it's going to be good That's a flaw

I mean it's just kind of the case It's the twist in this game that the world literally revolves around him I'm the sun in this game I get hot! Anyway, just giving you a quick explanation of what those are. Those are things that form your character, not necessarily define your character,

but are formative things about your character. And if you play to any of those things, you get what's called inspiration. You can use this inspiration to get a bonus on pretty much any role you want. Sick. So basically as long as this role is in regards to that. So if I wanted to make the common folk see me as a hero,

I'd get some bonuses. Yeah, so if you're standing before a crowd and you're going to be like, we're going to slay that monster because you want the common folk to see you as a hero. Because I'm a hero. And they'll be like, yeah. You get a bonus to the role.

You get a bonus to the lie. And I'm like, that's because he's mighty. Let's follow his thing. Exactly. Do what he's doing. And I get a role. All right. Boss.

And I run away. He's mighty. Yes. And then I run away. Yeah, like, screw this. Originally, your floor was so close to being, if there's a plan, I'll forget it. If I remember it, I'll ignore it.

But then I remembered that your personality trait is I always have a plan. Always having a plan, and then immediately rescinding on that plan when it happens is so funny. You're like, anyway, we'll go into the castle from the top, you go from, and then you just aren't there. I could have that, but then be like, it's

only my plans that I pay attention to. No, no, running away is a solid move. But yeah, so say for example, like your floor is you run away when shit hits the fan. If you needed to roll to run away from the dragon while these two fuckers are still there, I'm like, yeah, sure, get a bonus on that. Now, hopefully, I will be able to pick situations where you're playing to them, but that's in an ideal world, and that's not the world we live in. So if you guys think that you're playing to any of these ideals,

let me know, and I'll decide whether or not you're right and give you the bonus. Also, something I should mention, one of my features that I have three retainers. Can I name them? So I got three common folk with me. It's like commoners that follow me around. That Adam's taking out a pen. Oh, he's gonna write the names down. That's a knife!

With a due sense of dread, I will allow you to name your three retainers. Guys, help me count. I want three that rhyme. With a due... I went to the DuckTale Kids, but nah. Two. Yeah, that's the only three names I know that rhyme. But no, let's avoid the DuckTale Children.

And no, fuck it. Mark, Bark, and Dark. Nice. Three common folk. Who I've been given by the king. I'm a knight. Or they just love me. You can be a knight of an order, or of a king, or of a lord.

I'm of a king, but I'm on holiday. I'm a loose knight currently. You're loose or you're getting loose? Bit of both. How do we know each other? Oh yeah, I'm a loose knight. You're loose or you're getting loose? Bit of both. How do we know each other? Oh yeah, that's a good question. You can decide to just know each other if you want or you can be meeting at the beginning of this adventure.

So if you want, you can be like, I know you guys or you can just meet up and then you'll learn about each other on the way. It's up to you. How about... Where are we starting? That's the question. We're starting in the. How about... Where are we starting? That's the question. You're starting in the city of Lithgow. John Lithgow?

Yes, you're starting in the city of the actor John Lithgow. Oh my goodness. Is time cyclical? So, it doesn't matter. That's awesome. What's this city about? Well, it's fighting Dexter Yes

No It's the Trinity Killer It's a massive train city Okay Lithgow is a bit of an oddity In that it doesn't have one set person in charge of the town But there are a lot of people There are a lot of people... There are a lot of people who...

Just, like, very powerful and influential people who kind of form a council, really, more. And they make decisions as a group. And, like, maybe one of them is, like, responsible for the city walls and stuff like that. And then he, you know, talks with the guy who pays at City Guard and stuff like that. It's he, you know, talks with the guy who pays at City Guard and stuff like that. It's a lot of back deals and corruption.

A lot of underground, would you say? Actually, it's not even technically corruption. Smuggling. Yes. Interesting. I was about to say corruption. Corruption isn't really the word. It's more just the way things work.

It's how things do. Do we want to say that maybe we shared a boat here? Yeah, sure. And we just met along the ride? That's fine. You know, hey, it's like it could be a year together on the boat. Is it coastal? It is coastal.

Okay. Let me write down your names. Buckle and Gerg. Yep. Buckle and the Gerg. Would anyone of you have been here before? You can just say no or yes, it's up to you. I feel like it's a place I've probably been.

It's a pretty big central cosmopolitan and economic hub. First time I'm here. So if you travel a bit, you probably... Coming for a bit of food. Here, H-Y-A. Here along for it. So when you come in, you come into... There are three different districts to the city. The Common Grounds is the largest district, Long for it. So when you come in, you come into the...

There are three different districts to the city. The Common Grounds is the largest district, and that's where the docks are. So your ship pulls in there, and the three of you, you're all... Yeah, we're together. Cool. You all step off. You're at the city docks.

All right. Is there people about? Yeah, it's pretty busy. I'd like to go to the nearest person and be like, where's a place a fella can have fun in a city like this? The sailor awkwardly puts down the box he was carrying. What sort of fun are you looking for? I'm looking for women.

I'm looking for booze. I'm looking for fights. He looks you up and down. You have fine noble clothes. Are you wearing those? Your armor? I'm looking for booze. I'm looking for fights. He looks you up and down. Are you wearing, you have like fine noble clothes. Are you wearing those? Your armor? What are you wearing?

Probably my armor. I got a big fat moon face. I'm slightly tubby. Like I've let myself go. Like in my youth, like maybe five years ago, I was doing well, but right now, hmm. You're Robert Baratheon. Yeah, I am Robert Baratheon. Do you look like a noble?

I've got like a noble expanded I used to have a nice neat beard but as my face got wider the beard's become like a bloaty instead of a goatee what sort of women are you looking for? I lean in close I like them chubby how close?

The chubby are the better Who am I playing? What is this? Adam's rifling through something Do you have pictures of chubby women? Chubby brothels Let me get my chubby brothels like let me get my list of brothels out

that cater to men of your particular tastes I'm on holiday there is a lot involved in this game man it's an intense time you covered every possible scenario we could be like Adam we get back on the boat and Adam could be like, Adam, we get back on the boat.

And Adam would be like, that's fine. You did that. I'm so okay with this. I guess we're doing a boat adventure now. Are you finding me brothel prices or brothel names?

I'm finding you a brothel. What time is it, by the way? It's probably around midday. Oh, that's fine. That's fine brothel time. It's a good time to come in You can drink after midday

Don't want everyone to look at me like Yeah along fellowies Bit of an alcoholic drinking before midday That's not me Even though you are drinking The harlot's flask Oh And I'd like to take

You're looking for chubby women. He, he like leans in and I'm not looking for chubby women. Like to interject, I'm not looking

for chubby women. Like I'll go, I might just have a drink though. You listening in on the conversation? Yes. Well, you don't hear this part

because he leans in and like whispers. Ask for Marion. Will do, lad. Will do. Thank you very much for your advice. All right, lads. I found this a brothel that caters to my particular tastes.

You're very open about this. No, he's not. My particular tastes. I'm very open about this. No, he's not. I like how you think this is... My particular taste. This is something that I've talked about a lot on the boat ride. Do you just keep calling your particular... My particular taste? I'm so mad I can't speak right.

Yes, we know you like chubby women. It's fine. I don't know what you lads were planning on doing, but it's meant to be... Big women. Big women. The bigger the better. You're looking for a bride there I know her

So you might be able to find one in the city Maybe not in Brothol A lot of people here are straight up racist Just letting you know You probably won't find You might I don't know you can find a lot of things in Lithgow I was about to say you probably can't find an orc or half-orc.

Also 16, so a 16-year-old orc looking for strange. Are you like a teen? Orcs come of age at 14. They're a lot shorter-lived race. Oh, that's sad. You're going to die soon. Because of all the racism? Yes.

They're actually long-lived. Maybe. No, they die of old age at around like 40. Should we cover him in a sheet? What? I'm a spooky ghost. Oh, as a half-orc, people will discriminate against him, but no one will be just sucking him in the face.

He's not a crime. No. Okay, that's fine. All right, we'll go and search for the harlot's flask. I mean, I don't know. You were given directions. Unless you want anything you'd like to do before I go and get my film. I guess we'll go

for a drink. Sick. Maybe a new wife? I do want to continue my... I am the last on my drive and must continue the... It's a part of you but it doesn't define you.

Does that mean I need to spread my wild oats? Yes. That's what I'll have told you. What is that? Yeah, that's a term. Spread your wild oats. He means sperm. Only sperm. He needs to spread my wild oats. Yeah, that's a term. That's what I'll have told you. What is that? Yeah, that's a term. Spread your wild oats.

He means sperm, only sperm. He needs to spread his sperm around. On to the lady's skin, yeah. Or men. I don't know, I'm 16. I don't know how things work. It's an intimate moment with a lady, and then you misunderstand what spreading sperm means.

You're like, there we go. You got it. There you go. Tribe safe. I'll be back in however long an orc takes. And then the children come out like plants in your chest. Yeah. Tribe safe?

Tribe safe? I did it? I did it. Orc win. Anyway. All right, let's jog on. Let's find us a brothel. Yeah, all right.

Okay. Here we go. I'm having a good time. Didn't think this was where we'd start Welcome to the game James You are? You got the map I assume Yeah he gave me the directions

It'll be good You find it It doesn't have a It's not It's like a tavern No door to knock on The place doesn't have a... It's not... It's like a tavern. No door to knock on. Okay.

The place doesn't have a proper sign. Just like above the doorway, someone has, with a dagger, carved the name very poorly into just above the door. One of the windows has been broken and boarded over, but through the other one, you can see general rowdiness going on inside They're not really hiding the fact that this is part bar, part brothel Okay What does it smell like? I imagine gross

You open the door and go in? You said there was no door No, I said there wasn't a sign You said there was no door before He said it's heaven No, I said it's not like that sort of... We go in. I said it's not like you knock on the door

and they come answer it. You just open the door and go in. Okay, cowboy style. I'll walk in. It's a very casual brothel. We'll saunter. We'll saunter in. When have you ever needed to knock on the door

to a bar cabinet? It's a brothel. It's different. Or a brothel maybe, so they can be like, yeah, you on the level? You over 18? It might be a code. We might have to knock on the door to a bar It's a brothel, it's different So they can be like, yeah, you're on the level You're over 18, it might be a code You're over 4

You know We've got a halfling and a half orc How far in are we? Do I need ID? I'm done I'm done at this point I am actually ready to get going What time, dinner? I just wanted Dungeons and Dragons.

I haven't seen either. This is it. This is it. The game has started, ladies and gentlemen. The game has started. I'll walk in. The moment I walk in... It smells like beer and sex.

There you go. Gross. I hate it. I walk in, I want to put my hands on my hips and try and pose a striking figure and hope that the people in the tavern are impressed by my stature. You know they will be. Yeah!

I hope it was a 20. I hope it rolls super well. The music stops. Yes! Everyone turns I hope it was a 20. I hope it rolled just super well. The music stops. Yes. Everyone turns around and looks at the very nicely dressed man who just stepped in. Maybe you aren't actually that nicely dressed and maybe it's just a trick of the light. But in this moment, you look like nobility. I'd like to nudge you both and be like, soak it in, lads.

Soak it in. You can have any woman you like in this place. Does this afford us any benefits in terms of handjobs? Well, maybe not you guys, but... They don't even see us. We're like,

it's like a spotlight waiting to see some of that. I'm Hya Longfellow. How do you spell that? H-Y-A Longfellow. Let's see how far we can take this. What was your name? My name was Buckle Tufnikas. Tufnikas.

It's a very proud halfling name. One of the best. Gerg Throats. Everyone asking me to name their characters, Adam. I don't know what to tell you. Sorry. I appreciate a sorry. I was going to go to Dungeons & Dragons name generator

and do something dumb, but then you're like, no, you don't like it. So, well, Jack. Throats is what you got. He chose Gerg. That's not me. Adam, you don't do something dumb but then you're like no you don't like it so well jack throats is what you got he chose gurg that's not me adam you don't like something dumb so i asked jackson to name my character is not the right course of action um is there like a bar uh yeah there is who's playing music what instrument uh some guy just on a uh piano call out and be like play a particular song. Yeah. I don't know. What's the end of this song?

Play some T-Swift. Not a thing, so I'm not even going to roll for that one. Play the ballad of Feel free to make, no. T-Swift. I fell for that joke earlier. Play the number one track in Lithgow Yeah

Whatever that may be He starts playing the song again Play the ballad of Yalongfellow I'm like play the ballad of Yalongfellow And then as I say that I want to put one leg on like a bar stool And pose again

And hand him some music There's the music to play I don't have any music sheet leg on like a bar stool and pose again. And hand him some music. There's the music to play. I don't have any music sheet written down. He just continues the song he was playing before. That's fine. That's for me. We'll go up to the bar, I suppose.

There's a young man standing behind there. He looks probably too young to be in a place like this. But here he is. Three ales. He nods. Good, good, good.

There was a pause there. I was like, is this guy going to fight us? Yeah, what is this? They don't do bad. Did I do Dungeons and Dragons bad, Adam? Did I do it wrong? Well, you didn't do it good.

How much does an ale cost? Superman does Dungeons and Dragons good. I't do it good. How much does an ale cost? Superman does Dungeons and Dragons good. I just do it well. It's going to be like three bronze or whatever. I'm just going to give him a gold. Because it's simple. Just knock a gold off now if you want. Yep.

He's got it. I'll pay. It's all right, lads. Thanks, man. So you pass him a gold coin. Yeah, I flick him a gold coin. He tries to give you change I'm like no no lad don't even worry about it

Does he think I'm a hero Well he's impressed I guess You paid a lot more than you should have I'm good at that Basically Three beers you paid like The equivalent of maybe $500 Am I around for the tavern Get the people to love you I Buy a round for the tavern.

Get the people to love you. I'll buy a round for the tavern with that gold piece. You probably don't have enough for that. I'll buy a round for a quarter of the tavern with that gold piece. You probably do that. Wait, with that gold piece? Yeah. Oh, okay.

You can choose the people. Okay. He starts drinking an ale and he starts passing ales to other people. That's fine. So lad, I'm a man of... It's going very well for you. Things are good.

Told you. Told you things would work out for us lads. How nice is this buckle and gurg? So lad, I'm a man of particular tastes. I was told this is a kind of place I could find women of particular size. Have I been misinformed? The kid likes to have us a little bit.

Yeah, if you'd like any of the ladies out there, you can just... I'm looking for a last name to marry him. Oh, she's not here today. Sailor. Sailor fucked us. I'm looking for a last name to marry him. Oh, she's not here today. Sailor fucked us. Sailor fucked us. That sailor fucked us last.

Who's your second chubbiest then? He like leans past you to like look at the ladies there. Can I get a highs or a lows? Lows. Please tell me there's somebody here that fits my needs. Yeah, just over there. He like points towards one of the corners. There's a pretty plump lady sitting alone,

just sipping on possibly a... I'll put my hands on like your shoulders, like one really high and one really low. Like Gurg and Buckle. I'll see you lads in a moment. I'll saunter over to the plump lass. Let you guys do whatever you want while I chatter up. Buckle, what are you doing? Look, man. You've got an ale.

I've got an ale. I'm obviously drinking that. Is there anybody around who looks like, I don't know, somebody interesting? How can I put this? I've never played this before. Someone with a tail to tell? Yeah, someone with a tail to tell. Someone looks like, yeah don't know, somebody interesting. How can I put this? Someone with a tail to tell? Yeah, someone with a tail to tell. Someone looks like, yeah, he's got some miles.

You know what I mean? Someone weathered, someone haggard. See what's around. Okay. I don't even know what that meant. You look at one of the... Shut up. Shut up. I guess.

Okay. You look at one of the... Shut up. It's a thing, I guess. Shut up, guys. Okay. You look at one of the tables. There's a guy in very odd-colored robes. They're like... He's got kind of like a... I was about to say Jackson's. Technicolor dream coat. It's not Jackson.

It's Joshua's? Jasper's. No, it's a Bible tale. It's Joshua. Yeah, Joshua's... Jasper. I was confused because at first you're like, Jasper, like being super serious about it,

but then you're like, no, actually, I do know this. I don't. And that threw me for a loop. That threw me for a loop. I won't lie. No, it's Joshua. Anyway, yeah, it's got a bit of like a Joshua's Technicolor Dreamcoat sort of vibe about it, like the robe.

Sure. So it looks super interesting does he look magical um it's hard to say like uh when he shifts the robe you almost imagine that the robes colors themselves are shifting so he might be or it might just be once again like the same light trick of light that made Hyar seem like a noble. He is chatting. He's in deep conversation with another gentleman. The other gentleman looks like he's quite obviously here for the women

and is not interested in the conversation. Is there any chance that I could sidle up without being seen and be like, and just listen in? Yeah, you could try. See how you go. See if you just alert him to you standing right next to him. I'm sorry, I'll go. While that's happening, what do you want to do, Gug?

Grug? Gurg. I want to be a little bit... Do I know this is a brothel? How worldly are you? Not very. What's your wisdom? That's true.

That's a good point. Wisdom is one, but intelligence, negative one. You have no idea. Something's frightening Adam about the group sheet. What's going on? Can I see your character again? What is this? So it is.

I would have loved it if you just drew a dick across it. Sure, Adam. Adam is here. Sure, Adam. Adam is dumb. Got you there, son. What's going on? Okay, cool. I made a mistake.

I will rectify this mistake. Good. I want to say I don't know it's a brothel. You can say that if you want is there any women in there that are not sex workers or is it only sex workers

hazelos let's go with lows yeah there's a couple women I want to go is there any half any half orcs ladies I'm just going to try and awkwardly awkwardly chat up someone I want to go, is there any half-orc ladies? No, neither of them are half-orcs. Both of them are human.

I'm just going to try and awkwardly chat up someone and try and fall in love. Aww. With one of the human women? Yeah, why not? You're good. You need to carry on your species, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.

All right, then. This has been a game about, well, not love necessarily. Physical love. Yeah, physical love. Kinds of love. Fulfilling needs. Yeah. See how well I strike.

You just, like, bundle your way over them, towering above these. Hi, I'm Girk. What's your name? We'll jump back quickly to Buckle. Hello. Buckle, you... Wait, I don't say hello because I'm being quiet.

Hello. You, my young Padawan, have already learned the first lesson of being quiet, to not speak. Okay. Yeah, you sidle up near them. So that guy with the weird coloured coat is talking uh in rapid fire six like rapid fire succession just throwing facts at this guy here from the first couple facts you immediately uh realize this guy is talking about some crime some sort of theft that has happened

okay and he's trying to give information to this guy who just isn't listening um he's talking about uh it was at the tower last night. No one saw them go in. No one saw them come out. Don't know how many there were. Just like facts. Some theft has occurred at a tower. They don't have any details about it, like how the person got in or how the person got out.

And for some reason, that's super surprising. The other fact that you learn is, once again, just that this guy is somehow involved in the investigation and just not interested right now. Gotcha. So one is a cop of some description. Yeah, the guy with the girl.

Yeah, the other guy, I presume, is associated with the tower, maybe some kind of wizardy-looking fuck or some shit. Some wizardy fuck. I fix this riddle. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Interesting. And we'll move away briefly from the plot

to jump to Hyah and his quest to get some chubby love. Some chubby love. We'll sidle over to her. Great lass. Can I ask, are you actually going to make me do this? You can fade to black.

Tastefully, Adam. Unless somebody calls me away before I seal the deal. I'm too busy trying to be in love. No, you know what? I've solved your riddle, Jackson.

She turns around and it is very matter-of-factly. There's a transaction happening here and it is happening before anything else does. How much are we talking? I'm willing to pay less. Adam's getting a book. There's rules for this. That's the best. I hope it's like

sex worker, skinny, chubby obese extra obese I'm looking for an extra extra large loss I'm sorry we'll have to wait for an expansion back for that of course

a wizard of the coast approved how about that much it's not going to be much for that? Of course. My goodness. A wizard of the coast approved. I doubt that much. It's not going to be much. It's going to be like a gold again. It's going to be less. Life is cheap in Loco. The question is, do I consider her skilled or untrained

at what she's doing? Skilled. She sounds skilled because she's like, up front. For the night, two gold. Done. How much gold's she's like, up front. Yeah, yeah. For the knight, two gold. Done. How much gold's he got? I got 24 gold.

You got it down. There you go, 15. 15? He's bloody buying booze and women and he's still got more than that. I know. He's a noble. Oh, yeah.

That's 10. That's 10. Poor. I'd say that you have, like, you make up for the less gold by having, like, skills in other places,

but you just have a better head on your shoulders. I mean, have you been paying attention to Jackson so far? I'll give her the two gold and then I'll just spend like time flirting and stroking your arms and stuff. Get him out of trouble. I'll give her the two gold and then I'll just, you know, flirt with her, tell her she's the most beautiful woman in all. Are we going up to a room or here?

Calm down. Romance me first. I paid two gold. You just paid two gold. Romance is gone at this point. I'd like to look over at these two lads and try and give them the like... I'd like to imagine she's like sitting on your lap and you have to lean around. Oh, yeah.

This is what I was after. But I'd like to look for the two lads and give them the, I don't know what you call it, like the... Okay. The okay symbol, like how... Gotcha. Okay, that happens. Good.

I'm living the dream, boys. I feel like a young adolescent teenager laughing at this nonsense. I don't know why. It just happened, and here we are. I'm so sorry. This is on you, Jack. I didn't mean it. I just...

Here we are. Anyway. Okay. Yeah, you look over. You see... Buckle? Yeah, you see Buckle. He's, like, surreptitiously listening to a conversation.

And you see... Gurg. Gurg. I'll never get that right. I like that Gurg isiously listening to a conversation. And you see... Gurg. Gurg. I'll never get that right. I like that Gurg is an anagram of Greg. I know. It's what started us. Gurg.

What were you doing again? I was just trying to fall in love. Gurg is doing basically the same thing you are. He's chatting to a lady who is quite obviously not interested. Do they notice me? I don't know. Are you guys keeping an eye out for him? I'm being very still.

If he's in front of me, yes. You're probably paying more attention to the conversation, to be honest. If he's not... Definitely not. Yeah. Okay, so no one... Buckle! Go!

You actually... Like, how animated are you about this? Quite animated. I want them to see that I'm... Do you point to them? Yeah. Like, how animated are you about this? Quite animated. I want them to see that I'm... Do you point to them? Yeah. The two people that you are listening to realize you are there.

The town guard. Well, you recognize him now as a town guard because he leans away from the woman and you see an official stamp on his chest. That is a symbol of the town guard. So he turns around to you and says, what the fuck are you looking at, mate? Could I just say, first of all, great coat. My understanding is something has gone missing. My friends and I are adventurers? Question mark?

Is there anything we could maybe assist you with? At the same time, the town guard says no and the guy in the coat says yes. What are you doing, Bokko? They look at each other. I'm fed to gold. The guy with the town guard pushes unceremoniously, pushes the lady off him and says,

there is no way, and then the guy just cuts him off. He gives you an address and says, meet me there in three hours. He gets up and leaves. Enough time for alright! The town guard is just watching this with a really

angry expression on his face. Awesome. Alright, I'm gonna fucking bail because I'm about to get stabbed. So I'm gonna use run away behind the orc. Nice. You don't need to roll anything. You can just duck around behind him.

The town guard is like livid at you and at this guy, but he's not gonna cause trouble just yet, at least. Without provocation. Back to that young lady I was talking about and use the line, I am also an adventurer. It's like you just learned this. Try to impress her with my adventuring. Is that, um, I think you did what?

Nah. Oh, man. Highs or lows? Let's give some highs Highs? Okay She throws her drink in your face Gets up and leaves

I look at buckles Is that good? Yes? You get some of a free drink So that's always good That sounds good So should I? Like a

You let it go And if it's meant to be I give that speech. If you love someone, let them go. Okay. I went, like, looking over at you. Can I hear them over the tavern? Probably not.

It's pretty rough in here. You can see that play out. You can see what's happening. What are you lads conspiring about? I yell over. He got a drink thrown in his face, but he's letting it go. Good for you, God.

I'm going to continue my try. I'm going to go upstairs with this here prostitute. I'll see you guys in like an hour or two. You can make it three. Three hours then. Two and a half. Two and a half. For travel.

Two and a half. They're very specific about how long I've got with you. You said the night, but whatever. I'll head upstairs and bang. You don't have to roleplay that, Adam. You can if you want, though. I don't even... It passes un- you could roll to see how well I perform.

That might be funny. You're down in ten minutes. You could roll to see how well I perform. That might be funny. You're down in ten minutes. Come back. I am chuffed as hell. I will walk down the stairs. Over to you lads. Next round's on me.

She got down as well. She looks somewhat disappointed. She got paid and she looks disappointed. Jesus, I am a terrible lover. But I knew that. I'll sit down between the two of you, wherever you're sitting, in 15, 10 minutes. We're on the floor.

Sitting on the floor. Just trying to strike out. You don't know if you want to sit on this floor. We're crouching. Just find a table. I want to be talking to a prostitute, but not realize she's a prostitute, but definitely not give money to this transaction, but try to chat her up.

See what happens. Have you told us about the job yet? I've told Gerg that he's... He's like, yeah, in a minute. I've got to continue my tribe. He got bits and pieces of it. Got it. Tower guard.

Some of it sunk in. Some kind of wizard fuck. We've got two hours and 50 minutes to get there. Got it. We've got some time. Some time to kill. He's doing something. He'll be back in two hours.

Talk to her. I'm like, hey, what's going on? I'm Gerg. She doesn't realize that you're not a paying customer or whatever. So the conversation goes for a little bit. It's not going to go anywhere. No, Gurg is what I wanted. All right.

I want this awkward conversation. Awkward. Just to be like... Yes. Just to be like... It's a little awkward on your side, but she's professional. I like the forests. Forests are neat.

Oh, that's embarrassing. She doesn't get out of the town much. I start describing what a forest is. Almost like she doesn't know. I'm sure she does know. She's read books. She's probably aware of what a forest is. I keep describing what a forest is.

Most people are aware of forests. So, what are you guys going to do? I'll just bask in the afterglow. All right. Until it's time to leave. Is there anything worth stealing in this bar? Or anyone worth murdering? Anyone worth murdering?

Oh, you know. Well, probably not here. But stealing? Maybe. Should have stolen that guy's coat. Yeah, I know. Probably not here. But stealing. Maybe. Should have stolen that guy's coat. Yeah, I know, right? You, like, have a little look around, try to case the joint. Doesn't look like anything worth.

This place is mostly inhabited by sailors who have just spent their pay here. That means the money must be somewhere. Behind the bar. You don't know where, though. Okay. Possibly behind the bar, but just steal it. I'll distract the guy. Okay.

Wait, is there anything in that for me? That's what I've got to be thinking. The admiration of my friends. Maybe you could tell a tale. An amazing story of your lovemaking. You know what? To be honest, it would probably happen. At that point, I'd get bored and I'd stand up and

be like, who'd like to hear a tale about me? How long, fellow? Literally no one. I'll sit back down in a hop. In a hop. Sure. I'll probably just drink and kick it for the next

couple hours. Are you actually going to try to steal money? Maybe I should just let it go. It's up to you. Don't be afraid to steal money from the bar. That town guardsman is still here, though. Is he? Yeah, he hasn't left. Can I stab that guy?

Because I've got sneak attacks. Yes. He was mean to me. He was mean to me. Retaliate. How funny. Yes, you could. Do you want to try and surreptitiously stab him?

Yes. I do. Okay, well, surreptitiously stab him Yes I do Okay well he's with the woman again Yes I've never been more excited To just Randomly stab him in the bar I do have a rapier Oh what are you stabbing

With the rapier it'll probably be a lot more With the dagger you have a lotier. Oh, what are you stabbing? With the rapier, it'll probably be a lot more... With a dagger, you have a lot less chance of being noticed. Also, we have two of them, so you can just stab him with the dagger, leave the dagger there, and just fuck off, and maybe he won't know it was you. Can I stab him, twist it, then leave? Yes, you can. I'll do that.

Let's see how well this goes down for you. That's a curious Adam face. Okay. You jab it into his, like, he's, like, sitting on a chair, but the chair, you know, it's one of those ones that's got, like, part of the back isn't there, you know what I mean? Sure, yeah. Yeah.

So you, like, in that hole, you, like, jab the dagger. The dagger wedges into his armor. Oh, no. And. Oh, no. How's all those? How's? He doesn't notice.

Do you want to try and pull the dagger out? Yes. I do. I'm not wasting the dagger. Oh, you're lucky. Okay, yeah, you pull the dagger back out. In my mind, you're like doing this as you walk past. So you walk past just quickly, try to jab and then...

You too probably see. You like see him walk. He does the jabbing thing and then stops for a second. He gets caught and then he for a second he gets caught and then he's like but no one notices okay I'm gonna cut my losses

but if we see that guy again he's on you better believe he's gonna get stabbed alright so time passes and you guys

can head to that address you were giving did I throw out that young girl's name? After a little while she realises you're not a paying customer and gets up and leaves. Let her go. If you love her, let her go.

If you love her, let her go. Okay. I got this. I hope so much that one of you is dangling off the side of a building. He is holding you and he's like if you love it let it go and you're like no no no why did we teach him any lessons my life we means absolutely everything that's the lesson you need to teach him exactly i am the best That's the lesson you need to teach him.

Exactly. I am the best. Give it to someone else. Trash. Got it. You get to this tower. It's made of this very dark looking stone. So the entire thing almost looks like a shadow reaching out of the ground.

It's got this odd, very mystical sense about it. And as you approach it, you've got, not a sense of unease, but like a, what do you call it? Like static electricity goes up your spine. Oh, hello. Alright. Is it like, what kind of an area of the city is this? This is a very nice area of the city. It's not the, there's a separate district of the

city called the Young Z section, which is like the upper class section. This isn't in there, but it's next to, adjacent. Is this tower just part of the town? Yeah. Cool. Does it look like it's been there longer than anything else? A lot of the buildings in this part of town

are super old. It's hard to tell. It looks like it could be from the same time as the other buildings. And how tall are we talking? Maybe about... How many stories? Ten stories. Whoa, it's a big tower.

It was big for a tower back then, man. A lot of buildings here are built very vertically. So this is unusual. Okay, sure. Somebody broke in. Let me get things clear. Somebody broke in, stole something, got out, nobody sort of thing.

That's what I'm to understand. Oh, it's a pretty big tower. I mean, you could really get in anywhere. You could come in from the top if you had... If you had... I don't know what I'm to understand. Oh, it's a pretty big tower. I mean, you could really get in anywhere. You could come in from the top if you had... If you had... I don't know what I was doing with that. It's taller than any building near it. Okay, so you can't jump in.

Okay. Is that guy around? He's not out the front. You guys haven't got him yet. Should we knock? We got Chester. This time, make me feel that maybe knocking is appropriate. Let's have a look through the keyhole buckle first.

Good call. Not in case somebody shoots a narrow through a keyhole into my brain, something I'm always frightened of. Buckle if you'd... I would love to. Look through the keyhole. I guess on the other side, you see like a little hallway. That's about it.

I didn't get shot? No. Excellent. Your brain remains free of arrows. Looking for the thing over the top, just... You hear footsteps on the other side of the door, and then the sound of a heavy bolt being shifted, and the door opens,

and that guy who was in the tavern is standing there. He looks like a little relieved to see you and you can see he looks at you guys, is relieved, and then looks past you guys, like eyes darting about looking for maybe someone followed you or something. I also look behind me. He opens the door, large enough for you guys

to come in, just large enough for you guys to come in and then like gestures for you to come in. You go in? Yes. Fools! He closes the door. You die. No.

It's like those two of your own adventure books when you were a kid. And you're dead. What? You chose the wrong one, idiot. Do you ever like read that book? And I remember reading one once. And there's like a section where you're... There was a section I was in a store.

And the storekeeper like casts a spell on me, steals some gold from me. I'm like, bullshit. I go back to the last one. Do you ever do that? Absolutely. You always give me a bloody thumb in the last place. Yeah, just in case you don't want it.

You're like, no, that, no. Whoops. You don't want to vampire eat my face. No, I chose the wrong one. I didn't choose that one. Takesies backsies I always felt super like sus as well about myself

if you have such and such magical stone go to page thing but if you don't go to this page I'm like don't have it but I think I'll go to that page anyway the book police I will stop you Okay, so

He closes the door after you And you see the hallway now Proper and full The hallway spans the entire length Of the bottom of this building And there's a lot of doors going off To either side and then there's like this nice Grand staircase that spirals up the entire thing

He just used for you to go up the staircase what was stolen out of curiosity lad and also what's your name and also where'd you get your coat three questions yeah he shakes his head and puts like a finger to his lips sexily no is he no he like makes a shushing sound. He doesn't make any sound. He just makes a shushing gesture. As you're walking up as well, you notice he's creeping, making a super big effort to be quiet. I don't.

Do we all notice this? Yeah. Alright. He's making an effort to not be quiet. Of course you know. Hey, I know what you meant. Yeah. All right. He's making an effort to not be quiet. Of course you know. Hey, I know what you meant. Okay.

You get to the top landing, and there's this big brass door, like the entire door is made out of brass. And in the middle of it, there's a knocker in the shape of a dragon's head. The guy moves past you guys and just very lightly and then he waits very patiently. This isn't your tower.

He shakes. The listeners can't see that. He shakes his head. You're waiting for maybe a minute and then the door creaks open a little bit. The guy takes this as an invitation to go in and he very carefully pushes open the door. Beyond this room, there's some sort of alchemy lab there's like tables all over

the place bubbling away with different reagents and stuff like that and all of them seem elaborately connected to each other this entire room and it's a pretty big room is just one massive alchemy path for some chemical to get from one point to another point. And at that end point, there's like a bracket for some item, some very large item, but whatever it is isn't there. Here's a question. How do I feel about magic? I should probably sort that out.

You should. I don't like it or trust it. That's fine. A lot of people are very distrustful of magic. Ranger, also dislike. That's weird because you get one more level and then you get... Love magic. You get nature magic.

Hate magic. You can just whatever. You don't have to hate or love magic. I'm neutral. That's fine. I'm going to walk over to the... Whatever, magic is fine. One of the tables with the reagent thing. Well, I'm not done yet. I know. I'm going to walk over to the... Whatever, magic is fine. One of the tables with the reagent thing.

Well, I'm not done yet. I know. I know. I'm going to walk over. I'm curious. Sitting in the middle of the room, staring up, just above him is the bracket in the middle of this room,

is a very old-looking gnome. So gnomes are like halflings in that they're about the same size, but gnomes are like halflings In that they're about the same size But gnomes are often considered very eccentric And Slightly different in a couple other ways Like this gnome has bright Vibrant green curly hair

And a similar beard And his skin is like an Earthy brown color Is he wearing any armor? He's not wearing armor He's wearing a winged cloth And that's it. You're a loose cannon.

I love it. He's wearing a loincloth and nothing else. Gross. Have I seen a gnome before? That's up to you. Gross. What is it? It's like a halfling who's gone wrong.

No offense. No, no, that's what it is. No, no, that's what it is. No, no, that's a gnome. So I'm assuming that thing taken was what was in the bracket before. The gnome turns to you and nods. Yes, my assistant Lex informs me that you were interested in retrieving it for me. Yeah, sure. I'm on holiday, so I'll reward you handsomely

I'm already handsome enough but no I'll take the gold seriously I can offer you more than just gold I'm a powerful magician I can offer you all manner of magical curiosities immortality, bring back my dead tribe

clothes for yourself. No, I don't like clothes. He, like, scratches his face. You are disgusting, sir. You know that. We live in a civilized town. You could be wearing clothes, or at least wash.

I can resurrect the dead, he says, pointing at you. Pointing at you, um... Gerg. Gerg. Wait, does he know stuff? No, Ger at you. Pointing at you. Gurg. Gurg. Wait, does he know stuff? No, Gurg said. Oh. You can say.

Gurg was like, bring back my dead people. Oh, okay. I cannot make you immortal. I have a new mission now. Yeah. I cannot make you immortal, but I can show you where you can become immortal. I'll take it. And I forget what you said.

As it close. But what's some shit you can do? Give me like your best thing. Whatever's the best one, I'll take that. And not with like a weird ironic punishment where it comes back. This isn't fucking, was it, bedazzled with fucking George the Jungle.

No, no, no, no, no. Nothing with a weird loophole. What do you want. No, no, no. Nothing with a weird low poll. What do you want, Jesus? Ah, Jesus. Where am I from? That's entirely up to you. What type of place

would you like to have been from? A small town, I guess. Some kind of weird little... Small town? The Halfling Nation exists mostly as roving tribes

in a desert. Or pirates. Okay, I don't want to say any of that shit. I don't want to say that shit. They're too different. I don't want to borrow that. You can just come from, there's a couple nations, Presella and the Union.

Both of them are just big mixes of a lot of different cultures and races. So you can come from one of them. Okay. What about just, if you could sort out my friends with their problems and maybe I'll think of something down the line. Because I am loyal to my friends.

Aww. Aww. Says this piece of paper. Very well. He like waves a dismissive hand. Whatever you want. I just need you to retrieve my gem for me. Okay. Who do we kill? You need Sade. I don't know. You need to find the person. I don't care if you kill them. I just want

the gem back. Good. I stroke my sword. He gets up from where he was, moves over to one of the desks, comes back with a scroll to you guys. As he approaches you guys, you get the distinct smell of unwashed gnome. He's got a bit of a...

Do you love running water? It's a lot of liquid, but what is... He's got a very of a... Do you know of running water? It's a lot of liquid, but what is... He's got a very distinct... What was that nutty guy, the guy who made planes and stuff? Howard Hughes? He's got a very Howard Hughes sort of vibe to him. I'd like to take out my water skin and squirt him with it. He's like unrolling a piece of paper.

You might get the paper are you gonna do this do I risk it it's your call man I'll wait but it's gonna happen he unfurls the scroll and on it is a rough sketch of a very large looking gem

it would appear to be some sort of diamond it would roughly be as long as a human forearm large looking gem. It would appear to be some sort of diamond. It would roughly be as long as a human forearm and maybe as wide as a human hand. Roughly from this sketch, you imagine it belongs in that

empty bracket. Alright, gotta get a diamond. It's not important what the diamond does to you. To me, it is not important who took it or why. All that matters to either of us is that it is returned to me in a timely fashion. Got it. What kind of...

Find timely. Give us like a ballpark figure. The gnome makes a little gesture with his hands, like a sweeping gesture. And the roof above you guys turns completely clear and you can see the sky above you. Maybe it startles some of you, fair enough. You magic fuck. He squints up into the sky about a week.

About a week. I have a question. Have you got any stuff for us to maybe aid us in our quest? Just even some food or whatever. Actually, nothing you've handled. No treasure. No treasure until you come back with the gem. I'm not talking treasure.

I'm like any knickknacks, any kind of potions you can throw away, maybe a map. He turns around, stomps off to a chest, starts rummaging through it. While he's doing that, you can hear him mumbling like, thieves, more thieves, more adventurers. He's just fucking gone. I know, right? A rude piece of shit. The guy with the coat makes like a cutting gesture. Like, I'm like, did I stab him?

No, like a neck snake. No? Okay. Are you seeing some of this? Stab him in the butt? He leans in very furtively While the gnome is rummaging around in the chest He says, my name's Lex, by the way I heard Quick little thing

I'm super appreciated If you could not say the C word Crazy The gnome turns around from the chest What did you say? You said crazy. He called you crazy. Let's distance ourselves immediately.

You don't have time to distance yourself. The gnome points with his hand, wiggles his fingers, and where Lex was, there are just smoldering boots. Sweet boots. Are they good boots? Smoldering Stamp them out Alright then I lose a lot of helpers like that

Of course I understand Someone has seen us He comes back and hands each of you a potion Health potion That's all you get for now Come back with the gem One week Each of you a potion? Health potion. That's all you get for now. Come back with the gem. One week.

Don't say me crazy. I'm just going to have a quick... Can I have a quick look around to see if there's any clues? Don't touch anything. Scout for clues with our peepers only. The gnome sits in the middle of the room and once again gazes up at the pocket. Yeah, let's all search the room.

For clues as to this mystery gem thing. I'm a right down. You're searching the room as well. I'm searching the room, mate. I'm bloody into it. Just checking. You're looking around. Shall we do an accent?

It's too late for that. Yeah, you can chuck on in if you want. Go nuts. Do whatever you want. Sometimes NPCs, like, in the middle of a conversation, will get, like, an accent when I feel brave enough to do it, but lose it in the middle of a conversation will get like an accent when I feel brave enough to do it

but lose it towards the end of the conversation when I realize maybe I can't do that yeah it's hard to do one don't do it

it's all good I try to worry about it after the fact yeah gotcha and it's kind of like can you do this in post no

can you fix accents can you add an accent filter to my... That's the thing that can happen, right? In the future. Like auto-tune. Sure, Adam. I'll get right on to that.

Stop this auto-tuning. Okay. Okay. So, uh, here and, uh... Gerg. Gerg. I like how you knew it was Gerg. Yeah.

Think Greg, but wrong. That's the ticket. I tried to just think the... Anyway. Yeah, neither of you can find any clues as to what might have happened. However, Buckle, you find hidden among some books that have been piled up and knocked over at some point, you find a cloak that does not look like it belongs to the gnome. Okay. Visit any cloak.

Probably Lex's. It's too big for a gnome. Gotcha. It could potentially have belonged to Lex. Smouldering part of shoes that To Lex Rest in peace Lex I love you But other than that it might be a clue It just doesn't belong otherwise

Can I just have a bit of a rummage To see what's what in the pockets Or is that not my turn to do that No it's fine So it's a cloak There are no pockets I think a cloak goes over like no pockets. I don't know if a cloak works. I think a cloak goes over like a cape.

It's like a cape. I guess a cloak could have pockets. No, no, it's cool. I don't want to, you know, this particular one. I thought I said the natural order. This is a pocketless coat. Has it got a label or someone's mum stitched a name into it? There is a label, but it just says machine wash only.

And we're all just like, what is this? What the fuck? The top part of the coat, the top part of the cloak, the part where it would collapse around your neck, that part has been torn away. It looks like maybe it got caught on something and then just pulled off. Is there any kind of insignia or anything on there? No insignia of any type.

It's just a black cloak. Have you alerted us to it? Yeah, guys, can you... I don't... Cloaks. I don't know. I thought they had pockets. I don't know what you think about cloaks.

Can we look where it maybe got caught on? It was underneath a pile of books. So you look around. There's lots of that alchemical... Sorry. Lots of that alchemy labs and stuff around. There's a couple odd glass points sticking out here and there. Maybe one of them.

Yeah, have a look. Hard to tell. Oh, yeah, you look at them. And you don't touch them, obviously. No, no, no, I don't even want to touch the cloak. Yeah, it could have been one of them, but you imagine it might have upset the very delicate looking system going on here.

All right, lads. That's the question we have to ask ourselves. Who wears cloaks? Most people. I'm wearing one right now. Right, right, right. How do we know you're not the criminal? Because that's not my...

I'm wearing my cloak. Right, you are. Clever boy, Gerk. Is it uniformed? Is it like a uniform kind of cloak, or is it just a... It could be. Does anybody recognize you? You said you've been here before, right? Sure.

I mean, yes. No, you did. I did say that. Whatever, Adam. That's fine. Like, how much No, you did. You did. No, I didn't say that. Whatever, Adam. That's fine. Like, how much time had you spent here before? Like, would you have gotten any roots in with the local, like, thieves? Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah, that seems like my kind of deal. I'm the one who brought everybody here. Yeah, you're like, come to Letgo. We were like, yeah, all right. So the thieves guild here don't have any type of, like... Uniform? Yeah, uniform per se. But this does look like

a cloak that many of them use to hide themselves in the shadow of the night. Thief about. Possibly. It wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility. Also, the Thieves Guild might be people you want to talk to about this. Sure. Do you guys want to do that thing? You've said that.

Do you know anyone on the Thieves' Guild? Yeah, yep, sure. You have the smuggler who might know someone. That's true. I think there are three guys with you. I do, Mark Barkendark. I'm saying they're waiting downstairs. I don't even think they're here, I imagine they're waiting outside.

They're waiting outside or downstairs outside but I'll send one up and be like that guy inside someone needs to tell him he's crazy he'll give you gold he'll give you gold if you do

no I don't hate these people sort of hate dark but that's fine it's a race thing it's a drow no I love them all equally

okay all three of them are human let's establish that right now. Like my three sons. Do my neglect. All right. Where's the thieves' guild in this town? That's a very good question.

There's another district called the Undercity, which is not so much a district as it is more just the... Slums? Sewers? Gross. Right. Which have almost been

converted into a city proper. There's like taverns and housing and stuff down there. It's like the city from

Demolition Man. I have not seen that movie. Is there a city in that movie? Yeah, underneath where

the regular humans live. Dennis Leary and Rat Burgers. All right. Stallone's like, a muscle car. I'm from the

90s. Sounds amazing. Never mind. It's pretty great. There's three like, a muscle car. I'm from the 90s. That sounds amazing. Never mind. It's pretty great. There's three shells, Rob Schneider's in it. Who was the villain in that? I forget.

Den Zell? No, Wesley Snipes. Wesley Snipes. No, it was Wesley Snipes. Wesley Snipes, yeah, it was. That's amazing. The world's amazing. Yeah, it's a good movie.

That's right, she is too. What a time to be alive. Let's go to the sewers. Let's go to the sewers. Let's go to the sewers. Find out these three shells. I'm confused by them. Okay. You'll just head off?

Yeah. Mark, bark, dark. We're going into the sewers. As you leave that gnome's office, or whatever you want to call it, he calls out to you. One week! Just like one last time.

I fucking heard you. We know, we know. Christ's sake. Christ, you. Yeah, one week. The door slams behind you. He was a very rude man. One week Just like one last time We fucking heard you We know Christ's sake Christ you Yeah one week The door slams behind you He was a very rude man He was

Crazy man Kill that guy Super crazy He killed that guy right in front of us He sentenced him to death Well look You know It was either him or me

And Was it? It was either him or no one. I would rather it be him. Exactly. With a clear conscience, you head to the sewers. Will you get there?

Find out next time on D&D is for James. To be continued... word where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to sans pants plus members the further adventures of the grey hill free company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests and dnd is for nerds not of not where all our non-canon dnd adventures go to rest just search for dnd is for nerds on your favorite podcast app choice and join us on this epic quest of dnd podcast discovery