D&D is For Nerds - Fall from Grace: The City #5 A Bloody End

Episode Date: October 3, 2020

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Sands Pants Radio, Australia's least coherent podcast network. Once, many years ago, when the sun still shone brightly, there lived a brave and cunning adventurer named Sir Jordan Grace. Having just saved the town of Ampwick from the great and terrible Necro Wizard, he decided to celebrate with his good friends and companions. But unbeknownst to him, something terrible was awakening deep beneath the earth, and his time in Ampwick was far from over. Welcome to episode 5 of Fall from Grace, part 2, The City. Do I know what, if there would be any political implications to, say, a member of House Grace marrying a member of House Inel?

You head instead to the Harbour Master's office. Eris Arell is a busy, busy woman. She has multiple, like, she is surrounded by, like, helpers, assistants, PAs, that sort of stuff. We'll turn around and we'll walk into the Gnomish HQ. You get through the gate in the wall without too much trouble. When you get to the front door, however, there's an armed guard standing there. You didn't see him here the other night. There's a piece of paper in front of him. He is writing on the piece of paper, but is just like scribbling. It is not gnomish. It's not a language you don't understand.

He's just drawing on the piece of paper like loops. It looks... It looks similar to a creature you've only heard of called a beholder. And you see in the middle of the mass of all those tentacles, directly underneath it, is a beak. It shoves your head into that beak. Fuck. A yellow liquid

starts pouring out. The creature stops hovering and hits the floor. Lifting up the carpet, you find a recessed and semi-hidden trap door. Open the trap door. Head down into the depths. So, Grace, you're traveling down for...

There's a set of stairs. The set of stairs are poorly made. They're made out of wood, and they look kind of hastily constructed, or at least constructed by someone who doesn't understand a lot about building, basically. Immediately, though, you hit a large open that you can tell that the the foundations of the the building are in among this like large natural hole you would you don't understand a lot but you can

kind of surmise that as they were digging this place they must have digging the foundations they must have hit this hole okay there are lots of smaller holes going down deeper into the darkness but there's one big central hole it looks like it's been widened i'd like to turn to to line and be like how long have you lived in the city? My whole life. What was here before the gnomish building? It was just blank space. Okay. All right.

I mean, obviously this depression in the earth has been here the whole time. Was it a notable space? No. I suppose that's a weird question. They would have had to, she looks up and she says, they would have had to do a little bit of digging to get down to this. I would assume, well, no one's really dug this deep down before. We would mostly assume that this place is,

because it's so close to the shore, it's basically not habitable for something that needs foundations those big. But the Nomish Merchant Company wanted to be close to the docks and they thought that they could overcome it she pats one of the foundations gnomish architecture is unconventional but when it works it works pretty well yeah evidently i i guess yeah because no one else had dug this far down no one no human thought they could build something here like this yeah yeah yeah it must have been the first one cover this hmm all right well we'll keep descending as you descend immediately as you get into the tunnel you see thudu put a hand on the wall like i said it looks

like it's been widened and you can see that there's a worried look on her face something wrong thudu the widening it she gestures she makes you look really closely at it you can see little rivets all where the widening is the little rivets seem it seems like the it's stained you put a hand to it pull it away you can smell the dirt but you also smell blood with the dirt thudu says whatever creature widened this, it was about human size and it did it with its hands. Oh boy, that is unsettling. Oh boy.

So something physically widened this with its own body. Just digging into the wall. Possibly somebody adult forced to do this by something? Maybe. I'd like my countenance, which was quite confident to waver somewhat um nevertheless we've got to anyway i'll march on zimulin holds up a hand and magical light sprouts out of it does anyone else want to thudu can see in the dark

Does anyone else want to? Thudu can stay in the dark. Richard Ware, you and Lieutenant Line all need light. You could rely on Zinmalin if you want, or you can light your own sources. I would say that Lieutenant Line maybe lights a torch and slots it into a space on her shield designed for it. Cool, I'll just light a torch and hold it above. You venture deeper underground.

You're walking down for maybe 20 minutes before you can hear a soft sound i'd like to put up a hand like a hold up can i can i tell no i guess there's not much I can tell from it other than that somebody digging and also presumably the person who wired into this tunnel. Yes. Perhaps the third gnome. Maybe torches out. Everybody hold on to Thudu and we'll approach closer in the darkness.

You douse all of your torches and with Thudu in the lead, you approach Thudu in the darkness. You can tell that you've kind of rounded a corner because of the way the sound works. It sounds a lot louder really suddenly, so you can tell that there's now no longer any sort of barrier in between you and the sound.

When that happens, you hear Thudu mutter under her breath, you do not know Dwarven, do you? That's rude. You'd think I would have learned some of it. You recognize Thudu swearing. Yeah, okay. And then she hisses as quietly as she can back at you. It's the gnome.

He's dug his fingers down to the bone. He's a path off to the right. I think it empties into a large room. I see some figures standing. Okay. Well, that's the way forward. We'll head into the room. Oh, so basically the layout is that you will pass the gnome into that room.

So what do you want to do? You could try sneaking past him. Thudu maybe says, he seems pretty preoccupied. I feel like he won't notice us. Yeah, we'll sneak past if we can. You enter into a larger room, and you can kind of immediately tell the way that air...

There's not a lot of movement of air down here, but you can kind of feel the air get bigger around you. You're still in pitch darkness, though, and Thudu, you hear hiss, there's a bunch of people. They're all just standing there, doing nothing. Human. Some of them. One of them is Miss

Quamesalt. There's another doorway as well. Not a doorway, a passageway. Yeah, alright, alright, let's head for that passage. Do the people i mean i guess i can't see them in the darkness but are the people just standing stock still if you ask fudu she maybe at first you can feel her moving her head and then she says yes okay all right in the darkness you have only your ears and you can hear up ahead of you like a crunching sound thudu you feel like lowering and you may be also low your hands on her shoulders you lower with her she says something's coming we gotta hide that's on you, Thudu. All right. Thudu hides each of you.

While she's got her. So, Grace, she pushes you up against the dirt somewhere. You can feel something soft to your left. She hides where? She hides in Willin and she hides Lieutenant Lane and then hides herself. All right. So you have been pushed kind of into a ball yeah you're sitting the the wall the dirt walls of this big area or somehow bigger area are kind of curved and you can tell that it's like a like a bubble like a naturally forming bubble in

the in the earth you have that soft dirt before you and you can feel something soft uh just just like touching you in the dark okay it's thin you maybe deduce that it is a leg i try not to touch it as much as possible and i stay quiet and like try to keen my ears to hear exactly what is happening in this room. You hear crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. It walks up to where roughly it, you can tell that it's walking past. I hold my breath. It walks roughly up to being in line with you. You can hear something.

Yeah. You hear, you hear snatches of words spoken not telepathic or anything like that okay spoken words which does strike you as odd yeah illithids have the capabilities of speech but they very rarely use them speech is only for basically when they can't telepathically communicate whatever the speech was as well you can't you only catch like little snippets of it but none of it is in the language that you understand then crunch crunch crunch it gets very close to you you hear something like clothes are being ruffled and then something hits the ground near you. Then crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. It walks out to where you can hear the gnome digging.

Okay. I'd like to ever so gently and quietly reach out to whatever just dropped. You have trouble finding it in the dark. Do you want to keep moving yeah yeah let's give it another go all right you find it and pick it up in your hand you can feel that it is cool and soft to the touch it's got like a teardrop shape to it you can bring it as close to you as you want but unfortunately in pure darkness you can't see it. You can't exactly tell what it is, but whatever it is, it's small and it's hard.

It might be a rock. Okay, I'd like to then just slide it back and put it where I found it. Okay. Yeah, and then I'm just going to wait for whatever came through to leave out the other side. All right. You hear it coming back from where the gnome was, and then as it passes you, the crunching stops.

It walks over to somewhere else. You hear some more strange words. This time you pick them up. You can hear it sounds like an incantation. It sounds like magic being cast. And then crunch, crunch, crunch then crunch crunch crunch crunch whatever it is it leaves do i have any idea what kind of magic you understand a an arcane mark when you hear one it's a very basic simple spell you've heard it uttered before maybe by zillaualin sometimes. It's a spell that's used to just like mark a creature.

You know that it requires, part of the spell is you need to like mark with like a solid little stone when you're drawing. Okay. So these people have probably been marked. All right. Okay. Cool.

All right. I'll take that information and I'll just wait for them to leave. All right. The creature leaves. And after a little while, you feel a hand on your hand. You maybe fight for a second. And then you hear Thudu whisper to you, it's me. Okay. Okay. I think the creature is gone. I think it's marking these people somehow with a stone. I'd like to like scramble on the ground and hold it up this stone i don't through do crawls away from you before crawling away from you through do says wait i'm gonna check to see if it's gone and then through do crawls away from you okay she comes

back and says i think it's gone all right i reckon we can we can risk some light now all right but but but let's let's just call it sin if you can cast light it'll be quieter than torches you see a faint light shine from the other side of this room zinbalin has cast light but cast light like and then covered it with her hands so that it just you just get like a faint red glow from in between her fingers. The room is cast into stark relief. You can see the room is maybe five meters by five meters. Oh, okay. There's two entrances slash exits.

One goes out into the tunnel you were in before, and you can see through that hole, you can see a gnome covered in dirt on his hands and knees, scrambling against the opposite wall there just slowly clawing at it with his hands you can see even in this light there's bloody marks all over the walls and you can see that his hands are slick and red with blood you maybe even see some bone shining through god you can see four people human beings two humans one dwarf one halfling in this God. spaced look in front of her the other three are in a similar manner you can see that all four of them have written on them in arcane lettering were not arcane lettering but written in in magical

font yeah words the words on uh actually no wait you wouldn't know the words but you know that they're not words of magic it's just a language maybe zin will then decipher is it for you yeah yeah she points at each of them in turn and says it's written in under common the language of creatures that live underground sure this one well it just says their names and jobs i think someone's just trying to remember what they did it's just categorizing them, I suppose. Okay, well, clearly, we found the culprit. Whoever or whatever is living down here. It was an illithid, Thudu says. I saw it.

Okay, well, it's good to have that confirmed. We still don't know why it's here or what it's doing. It had a book. It was reading from a book. Zin-Wil-Lin looks very strange at that. I don't know what that could mean. Reading from a book? It looked like it was casting magic.

Zinwilin nods, yes, it was definitely casting magic, but I've never known an illithid to use magic. Not arcane magic. They have their own. Sure. Well, you said it was a different sort of magic, didn't you, Zin? Earlier on, you said that whatever the magic was here, it was nothing typical.

Well, that could be explained by an illithid psionic magic. Oh, okay. Sure, sure. But it also seems to understand arcane magic. Yeah. I've never known an illithid to know both. Well, I've never known an illithid to know arcane magic. That's very strange.

Does Manuel say anything? I thought you might say that. Bring your hands over here. I'll crack open Emmanuel Demonstra and I will... I feel like I've looked at the illithid page already, so maybe I've got to doggy it. So, there and thine of many type of illithid. Upon the illithid types there is the illithiard,

if very welleth a tatteth pole of the elder brain's brine pool transforms an individual illithid into thine illithiard, a larger and more potent of mind flare that may boast up to including and is six tentacles. There is thine elder brain, the ultimate expression of the Illithiards domination. An Illithiard brain elder sprawls within a vat of brine, touching the thwarts of thine creatures near and afar.

It sprawls upon the canvases of their minds, rewritingeth thoughts and authorizing their dreams. Emmanuel. There is, of course. So many D-H's. There is, of course, the mind flayers that pursueth arcane magics. So many D-H's. The Riddith of Korthith, the mind flayers that pithueth arcane magics

that are exiled as deviants from their home, and may haveth no external communications with an elder brain if and or possible. The road to becoming such a creature eth often leads the Lithith There were three of those. Is that a typo or a personal? The road to becoming such a creature often leads the...

There were three of those. Is that a typo or a personal? Down thine road of lichdom and offers a way of permanently escaping the permanency of death. Such creatures of cold, of course, alhouns. Okay. Thine... Yes. So of those three which one do you think is correct do you think it's A

the elder brain that must live in a brine pit do you think it's the Uthiard which is a bigger and stronger illithid or do you think it's an Alhoun a mind flayer that pursues arcane magic and is exiled from the rest of its colony?

I'd like to underline Alhoun. Thank you very much. Would you like to learn about Alhoun? Yes. Yeah. Arcaneth temptations and eldreth brains forbiddeth thine mind flayers from pursuing any forms and all forms of arcane or magical power, aside from thine psionics.

Psionics, it's crossed out. But it isn't an interdiction that they must often enforceeth. Illithid zith brooketh no masters, but memberseth of their own kind. And so it is not within their nature to bow to any god or otherworldly patreon. However, the wizardryeth schools of magic remain a rareth temptation for illithids, and so within the spaces of a spellbook, an illithid might seek a system to acquire their own authority over the dominion of humans and elves and dwarves and gnomes and such. Existentialeth fear.

The Arcanist Mind Flayer, or as they are always known, Alhuns, thank you very much, have deviant upon thy illithid tastes and seek freedom freedom from the colony and reactionary ways of viewing the world. They prize their privacy, and often seek to commune with similar minds, though they still seek to dominate a colony. However, they of course cannot find illithids of their colony, and so sometimes simply seek to dominate and lead potentially other creatures they are dreadful in deliverance and often seek the knowledge that comes with being a lich or having a lich or are a lich okay and so one must be careful because while they have still to feast Okay. upon the destruction of thy body, which may be taken from a human, an elf, or other. Their brain returns to thine phylactery,

and so it is important to destroy an alhoun's phylactery if one is sick and tired of an alhoun. The alhoun will never keep its phylactery in a convenient place. Preferring instead to convex and convince and infuriate thy writer, dear reader. This cat's been struggling, man. It's clear. All right.

Okay, well, I think we found our culprit i say but do i do i think that it has well i guess i'll ask i'll ask um uh fooder did the uh illithid or alhoon did it did it seem um what do i know about liches actually it's probably a good question because i want to say did it seem undead but i don't know if that's what a lich would look like liches are creatures liches are actual undead this alhoun creature does not sound like it is properly undead it sounds like it's on the way yeah okay cool that's what i wanted to check does not sound like an actual undead cool alhoun presumably has other abilities and trappings and such. Yeah, sure. Though it does seem similar in many natures.

They are obviously very clever, though they're not very physically strong. They are resistant to cold, lightning, and necrotic damages. Okay. So while they don't have a lich's immunity to necrotic, they are still resistant to it. They are absolutely immune to poison,udgeoning piercing and slashing from non-magical attacks oh okay so only a magical weapon can pierce their hides they are immune

to being charmed exhausted frightened paralyzed or poisoned they have true sight so they can see through any disguise thankfully you were physically hidden which is the only way to bypass true sight. They are resistant to magic, not immune to it, but resistant to it. They have, in addition to the illithid, like, psychic magic, they also are skilled at divine magic, at arcane magic. Sure, sure. Wow. It seems like we're in a pretty good position to take care of it.

I say it's not quite a lich yet. If we don't stop it soon. Yeah, if you don't stop it, it will become a lich, and then it will be out of your hands. Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's close Emmanuel de Monster with a gentle, like, foof. Okay. It's now or never.

Lieutenant Line says, are we fighting it here and now? Maybe that's stupid. Maybe we've got to trap it. I'll defer to my companions. Zinvalin says, whatever we should do, we should do it quickly. We don't have a lot of time before it discovers what we've done upstairs. You're right. Maybe there's no time for traps we we will want to figure out something to neutralize its arcane magic

i'll turn to lieutenant line you you have anti-magic cells correct yes is there some way we could bring that effect down here? Yes. I think I can figure out something about that, but it might take some time. What some time? What are we talking? Maybe an hour, maybe more.

I look to Zyn. I think we can afford an hour. Zyn will nods. We should, it needs to come up to feed sometimes, Zyn will then says. So maybe we can lay a trap for when it comes up. It's going to come up to feed sometimes, Zinmalin says. So maybe we can lay a trap for when it comes up. It's going to come up eventually. Well, the moment it sees what we've done to the Gnomish trading company headquarters,

presumably it'll be able to define where we are. So maybe we set a trap there. Maybe we anti-magic that whole building. Which building? The Gnomish trading company. Oh, yeah. magic that whole building which building the gnomish trading company oh yeah or is there a way to is there a way to bait it to a specific location my thought is i say to everybody what if we get it on a boat what if we get it on a boat and we take it out to sea

then there's no harm it can do to anybody in the city. We've got it trapped in a single location. Doesn't look like it can swim either. Thoughts? I like that idea, where it says, I like fighting at sea. Yeah, me too. But how to get it to a boat? If we had something that it needed, Lieutenant Lyne says, maybe it would follow us.

Is there anything that i could discern from a manual demonstra that it might it might require it requires its phylactery uh yeah i was thinking that but i'm like oh but where where is it okay it's phylactery what does a phylactery look like the path to lichdom is very well guarded by those who know how to do it that's fair so it's hard to know that you it's deep in law that you would probably not know but zinmalin says whatever it is i'm sure we'll know it when we see it okay perhaps perhaps we venture deeper okay all right how about this lieutenant line you go and set up a ship in the dock with anti-magic, however you can arrange that. Pick the biggest ship out there, the one we'll notice.

We'll venture deeper, collect the phylactery, take it to the boat, lead it there. We keep it contained in an anti-magic zone, and we end this. Okay. All right. Break. We'll head deeper into the cave. Guided by Thudu and Zinwilin. Zin, who we're called, you know.

Yeah, who just remembered that she can see in the dark. So maybe because it's you and where, maybe Thudu leads one of you and Zinwilin leads the other. Do you have a preference? I'll go with Zin. You go further in. You hear Zinmalin whispering to you, the path branches off into two ways.

Which way should we take? I guess any. Well, can we look at the ground for tracks? Zinmalin inspects the ground and she says, she shakes her head and says I don't know that's okay one goes to the left and slightly down

the other goes to the right and slightly up I guess any directions as well Voodoo can you make out anything tracks wise Voodoo shakes her head as well alright any directions as good as any alright we'll go right you go left Take out anything. Tracks. Thudu shakes her head as well. All right. Any directions as good as any.

All right. We'll go right. You go left. Splitting up? Yeah. Highs or lows? Highs. As you go to the right, you're traveling for maybe an extra five, ten minutes before you hear or you feel Zinwulin in front of you.

Stop and stiffen. She says, I can see it. Can it see you? No, it's looking away. It's reading a book. Let's back up.

You and Zinwilin back up a little. If Emmanuel Demonstra is anything to go by, the phylactery wouldn't be in the same room as the illithid. No, I think I saw it. It was on. There was a container of some sort. A small cage. I think it was magically enchanted.

I think it's in a magically enchanted cage. Could you break the enchantment? I could try, but it might be hard in front of the creature. I think that's its bedroom. If I distract it, would you be able to? I could, yes. Okay. Okay.

We'll back up, back to the fork. I'll send Zin down the left path. Okay. We'll back up, back to the fork. I'll send Zin down the left path. Okay. We took the right path, yeah? Yeah. I'll send her down the left path. With the plan being, I am going to go into the main room, knock over a body, and hide,

and hopefully they can, or at least Zinin can deal with the enchant the the cage around the phylactery and and take it and then we can all flee together okay so you go back into the main room are you using light at all uh no because i want to fumble? I don't know where my hiding place was. Oh, use a light to, like, see the room. No, my plan was not to. All right, well, in the darkness you can fumble and you can find one of the people. Can I find the body near where I hid?

Yes. Cool. Okay. Well, maybe I knock one away from that body so that it's not so suspicious. And I'd like to give it a bodily shove. You push it over. The person kind of silently,

well, as in without saying anything, hits the ground and then you go and hide. Yeah. All right. You hear crunch, crunch, crunch,

crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. The, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and you hear it walk over to where the body was.

Then you hear spoken, spoken words. You're here somewhere. I hold my breath and pray that it does not find me. A light illuminates the room. The. A light illuminates the room. The second the light illuminates the room, you can tell that it is looking directly at you. That is unfortunate. All right, we're going to go to initiative.

Hokey dokey. Ooh, you both rolled five. Ooh. What's your initiative modifier? One. What's its initiative modifier? 20. No. One. Huh. Paper initiative modifier? 20. No.

One. Huh. Paper, scissors, rock. All right. Paper, scissors, rock. Paper, scissors, rock. You go first. All right.

Gosh. Spotting you, it actually goes defensive. Okay. It waves a hand in front of itself, and you can see that a shimmering white orb appears around it. That's its turn. And now, a word from our sponsors. Also, what's up, dinguses and dingettes?

It's your favorite boy, Adam. You know, when I was young, my mother always used to tell me, Adam, if you won't play in the front yard like a man, then at least have the common decency to step aside so we can focus on your brother. Now, I don't know what that meant, but I'm here to let you know that I'm streaming now from my own personal channel on twitch.tv forward slash retro archetype. If you loved the crazy antics of Adam Falls Out or my complete mismanagement of the tropical paradise in Tropico 4, then drop by to see some stupid fun.

There's a consistent schedule, but I will sometimes be doing surprise streams at otter hours. So follow me at twitch.tv forward slash retro archetype. A-R-C-H-E-T-Y-P-E if you want the notification. Hope to see you there. What's the light? Where's that coming from? The light? Oh, there's a light in its hand. Okay, so it's a

magical light. Yeah. Alright. Okay. Okay. Oh, a magical light has to be cast on an object, so he's holding a rock and that's what it's coming off. Fabulous. Alright. I'm gonna go for... i'm gonna whip out my longbow and try to shoot the rock out of his hand all right swing knock draw fire you strike the

rock in his hand breaking it and the light goes out cool and then with my extra attack i'll try and plug where he was you fire but in the darkness you can't tell that's all good i'm just keeping him occupied and then what do you do can i barrel into his legs give me a tick yes but let me uh let me check the effect of his spell oh that's fair all right yep you can cool good good good roll very well oh that's a. All right. Yep, you can. Cool. Good, good, good. You don't roll very well. Oh, that's a shame. But he is quite weak. You barrel into his leg.

It is in the darkness, I guess. And you ball him over on top of you. Okay. He's prone. You're standing over him. What do you want to do? So he's not attacking at all? He hasn't.

Oh, sorry. That's right. It's his turn. Fuck. I was going to say. Whoops. In the darkness, he reaches out and tries to grab you. You feel a cold, awful hand wrapping around your ankle,

and you take 18 points of damage. Holy shit. Okay. Xin Wulin, hurry the fuck up. What are you doing? Do I have any indication of how Zinwulin is doing? No, you can't see. You can't tell.

Okay. Great. Obviously, I don't think I'm going to be able to kill it. I suppose I should try and get as far away as possible, to be honest, and have it. Can I run and hide? You could try. Yeah, I'll give that a go. All right.

If I can make it cast light again, that's presumably that'll take, you know, time. So that'll give that a go all right if i can make it cast light again that's presumably that'll take it you know it time so that'll give me a chance yeah okay you start sprinting away from it you are on the other side so you're closer to the fork you'd have to run back past it if you wanted to get basically out okay so are you running towards the fork yeah i suppose just to wherever i want to disappear into the darkness so that it has to cast light again. Okay. Yeah. You sprint off towards the fork. You turn left or right? I'll go left

this time. Left? Alright. You sprint down that way and you... in the darkness you try to find the best place to hide that you possibly can. You hear from behind you, once again, that croaky voice. Where are you? You hear in the darkness crunch, crunch, crunch,

and you remember it as true sight. Oh, that's right. The light was probably just for effect. That's a crying shame. The creature walks straight past you. Okay. You can tell it didn't spot you oh oh man i must have been hidden well you did all right then i will slide out of where i was hidden and move back into the

room i was in before okay you're trying to do it stealthily yeah okay you get back into the room you were in before the whole time keeping an eye out for zin will live uh when you get back into the other room maybe when you get back to the fork you feel a hand grab you in the darkness it's me where are they i don't know they came they were going down the tunnel you went down fuck fuck that's right i thought they might have joined you. Fuck. Okay. Head out. Get to the ship. Okay. Assuming you are successful. Yes, I've got it.

Oh, thank God. Okay. Yeah. Head out. You go to the room where, you go to that big room. Yeah. The main room. And Zinwilin swears in Elven.

The people aren't here. Oh, fuck. Okay. Okay. You can't, you just notice now, you can't hear that scrambling gnome. The people aren't here. Oh, fuck. Okay. Okay. You can't- You just noticed now, you can't hear that scrambling gnome. Head to the ship. It's our only option.

Okay. I gotta save Thuru and Weir. Okay. You're going to stay. They'll die. I say. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Um. Um. Um. Okay. Okay. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.

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Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.. I'm going to get a shot. I'm going to get a shot. I'm going to get a shot. I might be able to teleport around it, though. Sam. Come on. Okay. If you're sure. I guess I'm not. All right.

She casts a spell upon you. You are hasted. Cool. Great. Your speed is doubled, plus two to your AC, you advantage on a dexterity saving throws, and you gain an additional attack each turn. Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, no, sorry. Not an additional attack, an additional action. Oh, Jesus. That action can only be used to take the attack action. So you can only get one extra attack out of it, but you can also use dash, disengage, hide, or use object. Great. All right. All right. You split Zinmalin heads up. of it yeah but you can also use dash disengage hide or use object great all right all right

you split zinmalin heads up i would like to with my spear like spin it around so that the arrow is pointing down oh the earth is just it's just dirt isn't it yeah okay i was gonna try and make a loud noise whatever then i'll just bellow from this room i'm here you fucking wretch. Okay. Do you have any light? I've got a torch. All right, so you light your torch? Yeah. You can hear, paf, paf, paf, paf, paf. Then the Alhoun is in the opening.

The Alhoun looks at you and gives you a withering stare. Let's go to initiative again. What kind of a fucking name is Alhoun? You go first. I'll rush at it. All right. You charge at it with your spear. Yep.

You get it in the gut with your first attack. You deal 11 points of damage to it. Hell yeah. Then you drag your spear out, attack again, and you strike it a second time, dealing another 11 points of damage. Hideous fucking monster. The owl hoon. Oh, do you want a picture? Yeah.

Oh, yuck. The owl hoon. I'd like to also on my turn bellow, Fudu, we're ahead for the boat. Actually, if you yell that, as the owl hoon is about to reach out for you you hear a bellowing behind it and then where appears out of nowhere great sword in hand he brings it down upon the creature twice he strikes it but both times the great sword just rebounds off and you can tell that sir richard where's non-magical greatsword has not harmed the creature at all.

How many times do I have to tell you, Ware, your sword isn't magic? Head for the boat. It's infused with the blood of my ancestors. No, it's not. Richard Ware runs past as the Owlhoon tries to swipe out at it. The Owlhoon grabs Richard Ware

and deals him nine points of damage. Richard Ware cries out in pain, but keeps moving. Good, good, good, good, good, good. Then it's the Owlhoon's turn. The Owlhoon looks at you and you feel a wave of psychic energy assaulting you. You can feel blood oozing out of your ears and the alhoun

standing over you it reaches down and you can tell that it doesn't understand kind of the danger that it's really in yet it doesn't understand that its phylactery has been taken it wraps its claw around your neck what do you say grace where's your phylactery idiot the owl who's eyes widen and then it closes around your esophagus so grace you die what what so grace you're alive again. Thudu is standing over you. What the fuck? What the fuck?

You have one hit point, Sir Grace. Where is it? What's happening? It went past you. Okay. Whatever you said to it, you gave it a right spook. Oh, fuck, Thudu. Oh, fuck, that was too close. You were genuinely dead. Thudur casts

Revify, which brings the creature back to life. I'd like to collapse into Thudur's arms. Thank you. While you're collapsed into Thudur's arms, she casts Cure Wounds upon you. Oh, fuck. You recover another 32 hit points.

Okay. I'd like to stand up with the spear, like place it in the ground to give me some leverage. We got to follow it. It's only been a minute, he says. Oh, thank God. Quick, and we'll head out of the tunnel. All right.

You sprint out of the tunnel. Once again, it takes you like an hour to get back up in that hour you find the four bodies that were in that main room two of them have their heads burnt off one of them was literally torn in half by someone i wonder her and the fourth one the owner of the axe of lightning rsalt, she has been picked up and shoved into the wall so hard that it killed her. Oh, fuck. Richard Ware is a maniac.

You also see a little bit further along, four of those brain slugs that have been, all of them have been stepped on. Great, great. All right. You burst out into the nomish merchant trading company there's the office is empty all right to the boat all right you race to the docks okay you when you get to the docks you don't see it or you're looking around panicking

unable to see it but then thudu slams her fist into your thigh, kind of painfully, and points towards one end of Castle Pier. And you can see at that end of Castle Pier, it's nighttime. So everything, oh, it's not nighttime, actually. It'd be daytime. It started in the morning. You did a lot of walking. It's been a couple of hours walking down there, a lot of hiding.

I'd say it's late in the day, but it's not night yet. Yeah, for sure. Anyway, you can see that one end of Castle Pier is kind of like lit up, and that probably strikes you as unusual because it's daytime, but torches are lit. You can see that there is a path of destruction. Scanning a little bit closer, you can tell that those torches are in fact small fires

and people are fleeing from that area of Castle Pier. Okay, we'll head in that direction. We'll sprint through the chaos. As you approach, you can see that there's one big boat and on that boat, on the back end of the boat with a big flag waving it backwards and forwards for your attention is Lieutenant Lyne. Cool, I'll run of the boat with a big flag waving it backwards and forwards for your attention is lieutenant line cool i'll run for the boat and as i approach lieutenant line i'll be like

is it in there it's about castle pier somewhere my people are searching for it right now okay everyone else is here richard ware and zinwilin zinwilin is holding very gently in her hands it's like a long purple pendant within the pendant you can see that there's a swirling vortex it attracts the eyes to gaze upon it okay it is it could be nothing else except a phylactery cool i try not to look at it um okay i'd like to like from the pier just just scan uh you see maybe coming out of one side alley in between two buildings a bunch of like civilians run screaming then behind them holding its hand in like a claw up in front of it, like force choking, basically a guard. The Al-Hoon steps out. The Al-Hoon with a final like flourish opens his hand and the guard's head explodes. The Al-Hoon makes eye contact with you.

I'd like to, with a crack in my voice, be like, over here, over here. Xin Wulin holds up the phylactery so that the Al-Hoon can see it. It starts making a beeline for you. There's Lieutenant Line and five of her soldiers here. Great. She starts ordering them to make the boat go, basically. Am I on the boat at the moment? You are on the boat.

Yeah, everyone's on the boat. As the boat starts moving away from the port, the Alhoun gets close enough to level a spell. It points a finger and the back part of the boat dematerializes. It doesn't explode. It doesn't get hit with cold energy or anything like that. It just disappears. It fucking infinity war turns to dust.

Dust into the sea. Okay. Is the boat sinking? The boat isn't sinking. The Alhoun is not a seafaring creature. It doesn't know. It's just getting rid of boat. Yeah.

It didn't know to hit it where the water line is, I guess. Cool, cool, cool. The Alhoun, can it fly? Yes. The Alhoun lifts up off the ground and starts flying towards the boat as it sails away. At this point, the boat has left the docks and is in, not in open waters. But just in the bay. But yeah, it's certainly in the bay now.

Okay. All right. Lieutenant Line looks at you and says, this, she holds up like a scroll of paper. Yeah. This scroll has a spell of anti-magic upon it. Great. The moment it lands, we get someone reading that. Okay.

Everyone gets ready. The Al-Hoon gets closer to the ship and maybe, I don't know, the guards open up with their weapons, but none of their weapons are magical. Yeah. A couple of arrows bounce off the creature.

Maybe Xin Wulin casts a spell, actually. She casts Scorching Ray. Bursts of fire launch from her hand at the Alhoun. Her first attack is a hit. Her second attack is a hit. Her third attack is a miss. She deals 10 points of damage. You can also see that the Alhoun's that shimmering energy field is gone

it's been too long which is good because that makes it invulnerable to magic oh that is good the alhoun for its part as it approaches the ship it waves a hand and one of the guards drops dead all right we're gonna go to initiative as the the alhoon starts to touch down cool great great all right as it starts touching down thudu is first she is going to cast she casts bless so whenever your party makes a attack roll or a saving throw you add a d4 and add it to the result. Great. All right. That was her turn. Then it's Ware's turn. Ware...

He charges forwards for his part. Unfortunately, there's not a lot he can do. Well, look, hey. God bless him for trying, you know? His sword bounces off the Alhun twice uselessly. The guards also charge in for their part, but they cannot deal damage either. Then it is your turn, Grace.

Okay, is it touched down? It's like hovering down. It's basically there. Can I grab its leg and pull it down? Sure. What's your intention here? To get it... Well, I guess the anti-magic zone will just go around the whole thing, won't it? Yeah, it's an area. He doesn't actually have to be touching the ground. I don't know where I got

that notion. I'd like to tentatively approach it still quite frightened because it did kill me and then try to jab it with my spear tentatively you strike out because of your fear your first attack is a miss maybe on the second attack you manage to like find some form of bravery within you you manage to deal seven points of damage with your second attack great good as you get it through the thigh then it's its turn the Alhoon waves a hand before itself and a wall of scintillating energy appears kind of like in a line along the deck. It doesn't form instantly, but it doesn't form slowly either. It like passes along. It hits one guard or it forms underneath one guard.

The guard rolls away and manages to not touch the wall of energy a second guard is fine the third guard though doesn't move in time and the energy strikes him he explodes and gore goes everywhere oh fuck the fourth guard is also similarly unlucky there are two guards left the wall of energy does not go away as well it's like a wall of just pure magic richard where also rolls out of the way just in time and then sir grace it comes to you oh fuck you pass okay okay all right and that was its turn. It properly touches down. Lieutenant Line casts a spell from the spell scroll, and you feel the hairs on the back of your neck prick up, and then you can feel that the magic around the Alhoun dies immediately.

The Alhoun's robes stop, stop like billowing out with some ethereal nature and the alhoon becomes a lot stiller than it was before i would also say that that line of energy disappears in a bubble area cool so it's like on either side and it stops in the middle then zinwilin's turn unfortunately i have also robbed zinwilin of her abilities in this zinwilin is not in the area yeah that's good zinwilin throws a ball of fire at the creature oh does she want this will it go through the anti-magic field yes uh it will yeah okay good she casts because it was cast outside yeah i'm going to allow it to go once it's left her hand it's actually not a magical spell it becomes just cold energy yeah sure sure she causes frost to

appear around the alahun's arms or the alahun just barely fails it takes only four points of damage, but you can tell that its arms are moving slower now. Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Then it's Thudu's turn. Thudu's going to hold her turn until after you, Grace. No worries. Ware keeps hammering away at the creature. God bless him, you know his first strike deals 12 points of damage this time he draws blood hell yeah hell yeah richard where when that happens rich where has a big shit eating grin his next attack is a critical hit richard your champ time to die he calls out bleeder make a dc12 constitution saving throw on a failed save you take a d4 damage at the start of your turn for the next d4 rounds the owl hoon unfortunately makes its saving throw but richard ware still deals 11 points of damage.

Richard Ware still very happy with himself. Then it is the guard's turn. There's only two of them left, but both of them attack. One of them manages to score a hit, dealing three more points of damage. Then it is, that was the guard's grace. It's your turn. All right, I'll rush up to it now, invigorated by the anti-magic shield, and kill it. I slay monsters, I say to it.

You hit twice, thanks to Thudu's blessing. Your weapon, however, is no longer magical. Oh, that's true. You deal 18 points of damage from two decent hits. How's it looking? It's looking tired and weak now. Voodoo, seeing your success, also wades into the fight. She swings with her mace, but misses, unfortunately.

Then it is its turn. unfortunately. Then it is its turn. It can't cast any spells, but it can nonetheless use its chilling grasp. It rolls, but its arms are weak now. And when it tries to reach out

for wear, wear grabs its arm and twists. No, you silly creature, it's time to die! Didn't you hear? Classic wear. It's line to die. Didn't you hear? Classic wear. It's Lion's turn. Lion charges in. Her first attack is a critical miss.

That sucks. Oh, no. Lion's attack is a critical hit on you, Grace. Oh, no. Internal bleeding. You take a D6 damage at the beginning of your turn for the next 1d6 turns. She deals you only 3 points of damage. What?

Lieutenant Lion looks you in the face and you see her mouth the words, I'm sorry. You missed! She pulls back and strikes the Owl Hoon, dealing also it 3 points of damage. Not a great turn for a lieutenant line no hey pretty embarrassing i would say and zin will in zin will in charges in screaming as she charges in oh wait no she charges in but she stops as she approaches and throws a ball of fire at the creature. It will hit. Hell yeah, Zyn.

Zyn Willen deals 10 points of damage. And that was her turn. It's Richard Ware's turn. Dickie, you got this. Richard Ware, oh no, Richard Ware is grabbing the Elhoun on the arm right now Richard Ware lowers his greatsword and then Richard Ware's greatsword

is not made for stabbing no it's made for slashing so the head of it understanding that the head of it has a like a decal basically on it

his sword is like a regular greatsword until it gets to the hilt where it has a very phallic like head to it it's got like a bit of it has a very phallic-like head to it. It's got like a bit of a bulb.

A little bit of a knob. Yeah, like a knob, yeah. And on that knob, there is like a figurehead of a boar rearing backwards. That boar rearing backwards, that knob, and then the entire greatsword shoved through the alhoun's chest oh boy then richard ware lifts the out letting go of the alhoun's arm he lifts it off the ground puts it on the other side of the ship so that it's over the water and then slowly dragging it off his sword he says, thank you for a good fight. Richard Ware is very happy.

Did the Alhoun look like it was dead? Oh, the Alhoun, just its lifeless body hits the water. Well, actually, it's in saving throws, so it's going to drown. Oh, okay. Yeah, good. Good. How's everybody doing? Everyone seems okay.

Lieutenant Lyne orders the ship return to dock, and as it returns to dock, you, Sir Grace the Chivalrous, veteran of the Mondale Madhouse and savior of Shabrook, Thudu the Bold, veteran of the Mondale Madhouse also, friend to the poor, Zinwilin, honored among elves, That rolls. torkel son all add to your names alhoon killer that rolls it feels like the party was being prepared when you left on the ship everyone is celebrating rejoicing people shout your names from the rooftops down at you you are heralded as heroes and standing on the dock as you approach is lady enel i uh when you get off the boat she embraces you and the crowd cheers urged on she kisses you

i am shivering the whole time from the panic and horror of dying the people do not care horror of dying the people do not care all four of you are lifted up and born towards the like the center of town where the town like has already officially worked out how to honor you you are given keys to the city thank you people start chanting speech um i sort of look to the rest of my party and know that it must fall to me uh i get up in front of the crowd and i say um just some of you probably already know me um my name is sir grace and these are my companions when we defeated the necro-wizard, Wade and Norton, we, I suppose,

thought we were done in this city. Yeah. But it turns out that beneath the streets the whole time another great evil had reared its head. And once

again, we gathered together to vanquish it and save this fair city and hope hopefully this will be the end of uh not to be rude but the end of our time here in this fine city although part of me fears that um that that there may never be an end and then I'll sit down it's like a smattering of applause but then people are kind of quiet I'd like to lean over to maybe Thuddu and be like

I fucked that up, sorry. Thuddu shrugs and says, Richard Ware stands up and says, who wants to hear about the time I killed a dragon? The cat loses their fucking minds. While that's happening, Zinwilin leans into you and Thudu and says, perhaps we should check the creature's lair as well.

And I need to destroy the phylactery, of course. You're right, of course. Yeah, look, well, Richard's going to be here for a while. Chances are so. We have the time. In the revelry, you manage to slip out and escape. You go back to the Gnomish Merchant Company. You pass several corpses

that have been lined up outside and you head down into the tunnel. The corpses in the tunnel have not been moved yet. It looks like no one has been here since you left earlier. And you head back to the Owlhoon's home.

In the Owlhoon's little hovel or whatever you can see that there's a bed there's a table kind of set to the Alhoun's home. In the Alhoun's little hovel or whatever, you can see that there's a bed, there's a table kind of set into the wall, and on the table there are several notebooks and messy scrolls and stuff like that. Yeah. Thudu and you search through. You find nothing really of interest,

but while you're doing that, Zinwulin is in that main chamber casting an incantation to destroy the phylactery and kill the Alhoun. For good, sure. When you have finished there, Thudu looking up at you says,

I'm going to go check on Xin Wulin to see if everything's okay. And she leaves, and you are alone in the Alhoun's room. You cast an eye over at its notes and its spellbooks books and you can see that they're still humming with a low energy the illithid is a creature that is already incredibly powerful and this alhoun augmented itself and became nearly invincible actually literally

almost invincible through its knowledge of magic. Maybe a curiosity strikes you. Yeah, maybe I start running my hands across the notebooks and the tomes that have been left there. Within these tomes, there is the knowledge of how to know, how to master magic, how to master magic from someone who had to learn it from scratch. You wonder if... Maybe something like this

could be handy for someone like me. Maybe I'll collect the tomes. Put them in my backpack. As you do it, there's a part of you that feels like you're doing the wrong thing. There's dark evil energy in this. But maybe you ignore that.

When you're dealing with a forest fire, sometimes you need to burn off some woods to keep it contained. I'll go and join Zin and Thudu in the main room. Zin and Thudu finish up the incantation together and the

phylactery cracks open and spills those contents out into the ground. Zin Mulan stands up, dusts her hands off, and says, it's done. Yeah, yeah, it's over. Well, for now. A gesture out of the cave.

Let's get out of this place. You go back out of the cave into the Gnomish Merchant Company, and as you're leaving that building, you see standing just outside, maybe you're leaving that building you see standing just outside maybe you're the last person to see it you're hanging up the back being very thoughtful about the like it feels like your pack is more heavy than it really has any right to be so you're lost in a revelry the last one out you're the last one to notice that standing outside the building is eris arel the that woman who uh who's the harbor master yeah sure you see hanging around her neck is that silver holy symbol the sun and the moon and maybe

a little spark in your brain when you were talking to the mercenaries flares for a second when the mercenary said oh yeah and a woman with a yeah yeah yeah yeah and you're like wait a minute and then she draws a dagger and stabs in the head breaking off the dagger zinwilin collapses what i'll run her through with my spear you kill the woman she has like two hit points i'd get get down lean down zinwilin how is she how is she zinwilin is dead i would like to just like lie back almost in a panic attack you hear thudu muttering next to you i can't cast revify i can't cast revify god I can't cast Revify. Guard. I have to wait. I have to wait a day.

It only lasts. It needs to be a minute. Guards. Guards. Guards show up and, like, the situation is contained, but there's nothing they can do. Zinwulan is dead. I guess eventually we reconvene at the lightning.

You reconvene now at Lady Anel's house yeah yeah zinvalin's body has not been interred but it's been taken into the the crypt for yeah for you know to be nice you gotta put it somewhere yeah yeah and you're having a merry dinner yeah. It's a celebration. I, uh, maybe in the middle of the celebration, I'm like, I think I'm going to retire to my room, if that's okay with everybody. People, Richard Ware

and a bunch of other people seem like, what are you doing? It's a party! Blah, blah, blah. You manage to shake them off and you head to your room. Maybe i sit down at the bed maybe i start pouring through those texts just seeing what the possibilities are you know you see a lot of powerful possibilities these texts contain a lot of incredible magic you're maybe immediately shocked at some of the early chapters that the Alhoun had written down.

You can see that there is a lot of power to be gained very quickly through this. Your revelry is once again disturbed when the door opens slowly and Lady Enel is standing in the doorway. I'll slam the book shut very quickly. You look up at her and you see for the first time

that since she gave you the little pendant with the glass rose she is wearing a little pendant with a glass slipper i'd like to rise from the bed and and take her hands and be like i um i don't think i i was really all there when when you kissed me last. She smiles. Perhaps we should do it again. And so, even with the kiss of a fair maiden and the admiration of the people, Sir Grace found himself suddenly and terribly

alone. In that moment, he made a decision. A decision which would, like a terrible shadow, follow him for the rest of his life. Thanks for listening. If you want to help support this show and all the other shows on the Sandspans Radio Network, just head to sandspansradio.com and consider joining the Sandspans Plus community.

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