D&D is For Nerds - Fall from Grace: The Dungeon #4 A Strange and Dangerous Life

Episode Date: May 1, 2021

Help Kickstart Tavern Tales now!Sign up to our newsletter here. Join our facebook group here or join our Discord here.You can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Reservoir East, Victoria, 3073.Want to help support the show?Sanspants+ | Shop | TeesWant to get in contact with us?Email | Twitter | Website | Facebook | RedditOr individually at;Adam | Cass | Tom | Jackson | ZammitTheme music by the wonderfully talented Mia (AtomicCupcakes). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio, Australia's most cowardly podcast network. Once, not so long ago now, there lived a retired adventurer known as Sir Grace. Haunted by who he once was, he had left adventuring behind and dedicated himself to his wife and his unborn child. An unexpected call from an old friend, however, once again plunged his world into turmoil, as his services were called upon one final time. Welcome to Episode 4 of Fall from Grace, part three, the dungeon. Previously... That goblin collapses over, unable to breathe.

Technically, the reason it's unable to breathe is that its mouth is full of snow. Oh my gosh. While its throat is full of snow. That's so grim. Okay. Okay. How's everyone doing? Well, Halfplate is fine now that she used her second

wind. She's basically as good as she's ever been. And Melky is pretty... He's wounded. Her skin is gone. All of her skin has been teleported off of her body. Oh, fuck. You've never seen a teleportation trap work like

this before. Halfplate, as you're putting your armor back on, scowls and says I don't like letting him get away. What's he gonna do? I'd like to just sit on the bed for a bit. Would anybody else like a breather? You also begin to notice that the vines that are draping down,

you're like trying to get past them but you can't. And you grab them to move them away. But when you grab them, they stick to you oh fuck you start lifting off the ground you know what a cave fisher is oh dear a terrible albino lobster the creature is laughing and crying out of its four eyes quite obviously upset to die in pain but chuckling away It's still chuckling away. So Grace, the space is covered in the thick blood of the cave fisher

you've just slain. Okay. Well done. Collect its blood. Alright. You collect its blood. How much blood do you want? How many vials do we have? Well, what do you have to contain the blood? I've got empty health potions.

You can fill two health potions. Write that down. The other two, Milky and Halfplate, both have water skins. They might need the water. Two health potions will do us. And actually, Milky has an ink well. Sure, yeah. Just an ounce of blood.

Has anyone taken damage? Yeah. Pippi's taken two points of damage. She could drink. Just an ounce of blood. Has anyone taken damage? Yeah. Pippi's taken two points of damage. She could drink another. Drink a health potion. We've got 28 of them. You're down to 27. Drink a health potion.

Fill it up with cave fish and blood. All right. You got three potions full of cave fish or blood. That's flammable, yeah? Yep. Highly flammable. Great. Fantastic.

Does anybody have... I've got a flint and steel. Does anybody else have any means to produce a flame pippi has sorry half plate has a torch great she can light and yeah uh uh milky has nothing that's okay here's a trick that i say this to them there are so few things that you're going to encounter in this life you've chosen that don't die from fire. Fire should be always your backup. If a spear doesn't work, if magic doesn't work, everything fucking burns to death in the end. Get a good boy card.

That's clever. All right. Let's head into the next room. All right. This room is a little... Oh, actually, before we do, have we got any means of washing the blood off us you have water skins all right use your water skins and clean the blood off you all right i know i said we should keep the water but everything dies from fire all right you wash

the water off yourselves yep do you want to fill those water we might as well all right we might as well you have you also have a water's gonna. Well, I need to do the same thing too. Yeah. One water skin. Your water skins are now full of cave fisher blood. Of blood. Sick. So the next room is massive.

Almost insultingly massive considering what it contains compared to the orc and goblin barracks. But yeah, it's like double, maybe triple the size of any one of those rooms. There is a set of double doors on the other side of the room. And apart from that, there are eight mirrors, just freestanding mirrors in the middle of the room. Yeah, this is definitely a trap. Oh yeah, absolutely. I say that to the two of them.

I'm like, don't look in the mirrors. Don't go near the mirrors. If you can avoid them, if possible, do. Don't smash the mirrors. That might seem like the mirrors. If you can avoid them, if possible, do. Don't smash the mirrors. That might seem like the move here. I'm telling you it isn't. We're going to aim for that other door. And if it's locked, we'll figure something else out.

You're leading the way again? Mm-hmm. On your way across the room, you hear Milky hissing something behind you. You turn around, and Milky is hissing at Halfplate, who, against your warning, has approached one of the mirrors. What are you doing? Turn around. Halfplate looks at you and says,

I don't take orders from you. And at the exact same moment, Halfplate's reflection in the mirror launches out and tries to grab Halfplate. Let's see what you've fucking done. Halfplate is grabbed and then pulled into the mirror. Oh my God. Oh my God.

After a short scream, there is nothing. Have I encountered any mirror traps in the past? You know a little bit about mirror traps, but not enough to be confident about anything. You're unsure. Well, when the noise cuts off, that is probably not a great sign. are a couple of different things that this could be this could be a simple magical trap and now now she's just trapped in a small extra plane or location it could be she's dead she's just

outright dead that is also a possibility it could be you know that there is a plane of existence that occasionally comes up in the wheel of cosmology that is the plane where mirrors lead yeah okay so like when you look at your reflection you are actually gazing into another plane of existence okay or at least that is a magical theory yeah you probably know that it is definitely more than a theory, but you don't know much substantial about it. It is possible that Half-Plate is now trapped in that mirror world. We're not getting Half-Plate back.

You don't think you are. You certainly don't know enough about this, and neither does Melky, to save. Yeah. The only person who ever knew anything, the only person who you knew who ever knew anything about the mirror plane or mirror traps very well was zin willin who has died more than a decade ago she's been on my mind though maybe i can we approach the other door without like milky's

not doing anything foolish it's just the two of us yeah no milky was never going to a price yeah he's okay i'd like to turn around to him and be like milky the chance of the chances of you dying are so high right now the traps we're about to face are only going to get more and more difficult i don't want to come out of here alone i don't want to come out of here alone because you died so i'm giving you one last chance turn around walk out of here don't come back find some other way to live your life okay milky grips his staff and says there are other ways to die a worse death i just don't know if that's true death. I just don't know if that's true, Milky. I just don't know if that's true.

Lead the way, he says. Okay. All right, I turn around and I open the door. You enter into what is quite obviously a planning and or war room. There's maps and all sorts of detailed equipment around here for planning a campaign. You can see there's definitely here going to be information about troop size and number though you're not sure how useful that's

going to be after the battle yeah but it might be useful to grab anyway collect some documents i think are relevant this room is otherwise empty you upon entering this room though can hear the sounds of distant yelling and shouting you assume the battle has begun and that any any creatures that were here have been drawn away you think that you're going to face a lot fewer enemies than you could have okay luckily the battle yeah the battle the distraction that was the battle seems to be working it's happening all right fantastic all right i'll collect whatever sheaves of paper or whatever battle maps or information I think is relevant,

put it in my bag to deliver to the king. But other than that, we'll carry on. Okay. Unless there's anything that Milky wants to do here. No, Milky doesn't. Milky pours over the information with you, but doesn't do anything himself. If you keep walking down the,

oh, and then there's another set of double doors beyond this room as well. If you open those double doors and start walking down that corridor, you find that you come to a cross section. You could go forward, you could go left, you could go right. To your left and right,

you see glittering shimmering gold down both of those corridors straight ahead of you past the intersection you can see another stone door okay treasure that you get from a glittering room is never treasure worth getting i'd like to also maybe check for traps i know there's not a thing i can do i never really had a rug i said a milky it just never really came up did you really never canonically yeah that's crazy how did you get through so many dungeons richard where sometimes you don't need a trap finder you see no traps but you know the necro wizard could could have laid a magical trap so well. It just very easily is possible that there is a trap here that you cannot see. Okay.

I'll go first. All right. I'll go first through the intersection. Stepping into the intersection, you immediately know something is wrong. You feel a string wrap around one leg, then a string wrap around another leg. You feel yourself fall forward, but then you were caught around another leg. You feel yourself fall forwards, but then you were caught by further strings.

Tiny little red strings are coming out of nowhere. Like they were just always hanging there. They wrap themselves around your arms and legs and head and neck. Every part of you is wrapped and they slowly begin. You slowly begin drifting upwards, held aloft by these red strings you feel no pain but they begin cutting into you oh my god okay like diamond wire they they saw through you like you were just butter fuck fuck fuck you take

you take 29 points of damage oh fuck what do you do cut the cut the strings milky i'd like to if i move my hand do i get cut yes okay i would like to uh which bolts just electricity yeah yeah okay okay ray of sickness isn't going to help, nor is chill touch. No. Well, you're not sure. You're not sure of the exact nature of the magic. It might, but it might not. Okay. I'm going to cast green flame blade and try and I'll just cop the pain,

slice some of the red strings just to get my hand free, basically. Okay. You cut your way out of some of the strings but they continue to wrap you up and lift you up and cut through you like i said there's no pain but you are being absolutely torn apart absolutely absolutely then milky what is milky gonna do he just gets out that small dagger and he starts cutting but that's the only blade he has. Fuck. God. There's a lot of ones here.

Okay. Wow, yeah, there's a lot of ones. Wow. You take seven points of damage. Okay, that's not so bad. That's not so bad. All right. What are you doing?

All right. I would like to bonus action second wind uh-huh to get some health back you recover 13 hit points okay can i see where the strings are coming from you you can see they're coming off the walls yeah okay does it does it i mean i guess maybe i don't know but does it seem like the kind of magic where if i were to shoot where the strings are coming from, that would, like, are they... You feel like you cut some of the strings off and you are taking less damage. Okay. So you feel you just need to really quickly cut your way out. Okay, sure.

Then I will use it. Is my blade still green flame blade? You got to cast it every time. It's a bonus action. Whatever. I'll do that as a bonus action. Unfortunately, you can't do it as a bonus action because you bonus action to second wind. Oh, that is...

But you can still cut. I'll still cut. I'll still cut. I'll still cut. All right. And so Milky's trying to help, but he can't do much. That's okay. You take 15 points of damage. You're on five hit points.

Oh, fuck. It's your turn. Did my second wind help? Yeah, you're still conscious. Okay. How many strings do I have on me now like am i dangling you're still being wrapped up by four strings okay how many strings have i been cutting away a you started with eight okay okay that's not good to hear um um god damn it we lost

fucking half plates torch when she went into the mirror world god damn yeah you're down six health potions as well so you had 27 i think so now you've got 21 okay i'm in real trouble i'm in real trouble why did i pick no spells that could help me out in this specific circumstance do i think that uh i guess I've been cutting with a spear, haven't I? Yeah. Okay. You might have been more effective with a bladed weapon, but you don't have a bladed weapon.

I guess I kind of have no other choice. Let me have a look at my spells one more time. Nope, I guess I got no other choice. I'm going to just try with my spear again. All right. You keep cutting. You're only being held aloft by two now. If Milky can just cut a fucking string,

you might be fine. Yeah. He cuts one string. Okay, great. Dangling by one string. You are only being held by one string. You take one point of damage. Okay.

It's your turn. You could probably cut yourself free. I cut myself free. You're free I fall back to the ground When you hit the ground you take another point of damage You're on three hit points Health potions

You start downing health potions It takes you seven health potions But you're back to full So you have You have 14 health potions left but you're back to full. So you have, what was that? You have 14 health potions left. Okay. I'd like to just sit up against a wall and put my hands on my knees.

And even though I've recovered physically, sure, I would like to recover emotionally. Okay. I didn't want to do this. I said to Milky. I didn't want to come. I didn't want to. She could have been born without a father

you know she could have i gesture to it why are you here that could have been you you'd be dead you're an idiot you're an idiot if you're here right now for what some king to make up for something you've done who cares you could be dead go away milky panically looking ahead at the door ahead of you hesitates for a second but then wordlessly just turns and leaves okay i'd like to using my spear write myself up hope that he doesn't look in a mirror on the way out or whatever there's so many places he could die going back and i'll head down the corridor you get to the the door the door has a giant bass relief carving like i said it's been getting nicer and fancier as you've been getting further and further along. This is a very beautiful door. It's a stone door, but it's got a silver inlay upon it,

and the silver has gold highlights upon it as well. You'd think this door is maybe worth thousands of gold. It's insane that the Necro Wizard Norton thought it was important to do this. Yeah, in this dungeon to make this out of gold. I just open it. The sneering dragon you identify as a silver dragon. Okay. What do I know about silver dragons?

You know they're good aligned. Silver dragons are very kind creatures. Okay. You know that silver dragons love people love people like they will often insert themselves in human society their their hordes typically contain things that not devoted to human society but they find like human but humanoid so like elves and dwarves as well humans specifically but humanoid they find their lives fascinating. So they will often hoard things. They might have a collection of coins that are like coins minted by different human societies throughout the ages.

Or dwarven societies throughout the ages. Huh. I don't know why you would have this on a door. You also notice, maybe it's something that Thudu mentioned one or just like time spent with thudu but you can see that this door is carved in a different style to where you've been before it looks like it was a different worksman that made this maybe i'm in an older section maybe he built on top of something i don't know potentially possible i'll push open the door this room is massive the largest you've seen so far.

Dominating this room is a silver dragon bound and shackled to the floor. It's unconscious. Is there anyone else around? Nope. It's broken and bleeding. This far into the dungeon, you can hear the deafening din of combat happening. That battle is happening somewhere very near. Then you hear

charge and stampeding feet. You can hear a cavalry charge happening. When the cavalry charge happens, the roof clatters a little bit, and you realize it's happening directly above you. Oh, fuck. I'd like to go over to the dragon. A health potion. Would that do

nothing? A health potion won't mean much to the dragon. You might have to spend a couple. Okay. I'd go over to it maybe i'd like as i walk over to it i like put my speed like drop my speed of the floor and i'm like you poor soul you spend four more health potions so you're down to 10 but the dragon's eyes flutter open it shifts a little bit and tries to move but the dragon has been badly broken and beaten. And you can see that its tongue has been like it's in the beating. It must have bitten its tongue more than once. Its tongue is swollen and bleeding.

And when it tries to talk, it just comes out as like a. Hey, hey, hey, hey, don't don't worry about talking. You can quite obviously tell that this part of the dungeon is less imposing as the rest. There's like lots of carving reliefs of dragons and people. This is quite obviously a dragon's like treasure, not treasure room, but a dragon's like abode or whatever that has been repurposed. You can see there are piled weapons and equipment meant to stock for many, many soldiers. Wow. There is obviously, there's like a couple of coins about.

You immediately realize what's happened. The Necro Wizard Norton found this dragon, captured this dragon, and has been using its horde. Oh. Oh. Oh my god. The shackles trapping the dragon. Yeah. Do I think that I'd be able to break them open?

There's some sort of magic scribbling on them. You don't think you can. You think you'd need a spellcaster of some sort. Well, you are a spellcaster. But I would need a- You need someone more adept in Arcana than you. Okay. Who, I know you're struggling to talk there, buddy,

but Necro Wizards had you trapped here it blinks yeah yeah blinks once yeah that's um i don't know how to get you out i don't have the magic i don't have the i don't have the skill to to free you but i if we get the necro wizard which i hope we do i'm sure we'll come back for you in three year the dragon's paw rolls over and opens near you there's nothing in its paw but it reaches out meaningfully as far as it can towards you i'll i'll go over and put my hand in its as you reach out and touch the silver dragon's hand you feel energy suffusing you the dragon is giving you what little energy it has left it's not much but it it's all it can do you now have the charm of heroism oh for the next hour every round gain 10 temporary hit points but they don't stack yeah yeah so you

just every round you get 10 temporary hit points that i can burn through yeah yeah yeah but they don't stack. Yeah, yeah. So just every round you get 10 temporary hit points. That I can burn through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but they don't start stacking, basically. And for the duration, you are under the effects of the Bless spell. So what the Bless spell does is that every time you roll an attack roll or saving throw, you roll a d4 and add that as a bonus.

Thank you, I say to the dragon. I'd like to sit down at the dragon's feet. Maybe even like I sit down and rest my head against its hand. That effect lasts for an hour. Okay, I won't be here long. Yeah, no, no, I just was reminding you in case you took a short rest. No, no, no, no. Between now and the end.

And I like to be like, I used to have this book, I say to the dragon. just was reminding you in case you took a short rest no no no now at the end and i'd be i like to be like i i used to have this book i said to the dragon this stupid book by a guy named emmanuel the monster uh and at the end of the book one of the last chapters talked about a monster called a tarasque and it's some kind of creature undefeatable there's only oneasque, and it's some kind of creature, undefeatable. There's only one of them, and it's never going anywhere. No matter how many times you kill it, no matter what you do to it, it comes back. I don't know if that creature's real. I look up at the dragon, I can't imagine it is. Sometimes I wonder if it's a metaphor. I'd like to just gesture to the dungeon for this. I gesture to where I came from for that.

This terrible, endless, infinite thing that eats foolish men for breakfast. I don't know. Thank you. I get up again. Thank you so much. Gods, I hope I can free you. Okay. You got a daughter to get to, so grace. You got a hope I can free you. Okay. You got a daughter to get to, so Grace, you got a daughter,

you got a wife, you got a house. You got Richard Ware, you got Thuddu. One last room, let's hope. And I'll open the door to leave. There's two doors out of this room. There's a easterly door and a westerly door. Maybe ask the dragon. Where do people tend to come from the dragon looks

blearily at both doors and shakes its head slowly that's okay um i'll go up to the what door feels like it's continuing deeper beyond this one is that like a did you say there was an easterly and uh easterly and westerly it's impossible to tell tell. Whatever, I'll pick one. Easterly. As you put your hand on the door to open it, you see the, you see, you feel movement behind you. You turn around, the silver dragon has turned to face you one last time. And before you leave, it, with as much strength as it can muster, says to you, No matter where you go, you will never leave yourself behind.

I become very pale and shakily, very afraid, open the door and leave. And now, a word from our sponsors. A unique tavern placed into your 5e campaign world wherever and whenever you need it with over 200 pages of content including 12 adventure modules written by members of the 5e community. Over 15

unique NPCs, adventure and tavern maps, 12 interchangeable travelling merchants in stores outside the tavern, exclusive new items unique monsters special events including the traveling circus pub games and more a trip away in is a circus themed tavern run by flip the gnomish bartender who's adorned the tavern with relics of their past life whether your drizzled heroes are returning from their latest fight or are just

hungry for second breakfast. Tavern Tales offers Game Masters a secret weapon for role-playing and engagement. You'll return to time and again. No longer is the tavern a place to simply regain hit points and spell slots. A trip away in offers a venue for your players and their characters to merge and grow. So grab a seat at the bar and reserve your copy of Tavern Tales Volume 1 today before there's no more room at the inn. Tavern Tales, a circus-themed tavern

packed with adventures, NPCs, items, and more. Available right now on Kickstarter. You travel down a long, lonely corridor corridor you can hear it's just like beautiful exquisite artwork on both sides but this time not of the dead or or demons or anything like that but a dragon that you realize is the same dragon in every painting and every single dragon it sorry every single painting is the dragon meeting someone. Oh, that rules. In various incarnations, the silver dragon is shaking hands with goblins,

with hobgoblins, with kobolds, with humans, with elves, with all sorts. And you see the painting is obviously a... There is obviously a trade happening in every painting. The silver dragon is giving the creature, the silver dragon from the room before, is giving the creature something and accepting something of the creatures in return. Cool. You would normally feel very comfortable and lively in such surroundings.

Yeah. But the area here, the floor is stained with blood. You're not sure where or when that happened, but it is now. And there is obvious misuse happening around here. Several of the paintings have fallen over. Some of them have been taken off and just broken. You're not sure why someone would take a painting and just fucking break it. But these goblins and orcs and maybe the necro wizard have been.

It looks like something just came through with the intention of destroying something else as you walk as well you can hear the sounds the din of combat is getting so overpowering it's loud you can almost make out individual people in combat above wow okay eventually you come to another stone door this This one, you realize is, like, it feels like it happened very suddenly, but the corridor is now super wide and big. The set of double doors look like they could accommodate the silver dragon in its dragon form. Well, if I can, push the door open and walk inside. They push open easily, as if designed to to open at the

slightest touch the room beyond is it's like an active war zone you can see soldiers and knights of carcery in addition to soldiers from the halflings the dwarves all sorts are mixed here fighting with orcs and the dead and goblins and even some weird demonic looking creatures you spot in the din several creatures that you definitely do not want to tussle with but there are a lot of people here fighting them as well when you first open the doors the first thing though the thing that dominates the room the only thing that you can spot right now is the back of the necro wizard norton as he faces the fight well i i guess i approach from behind maybe put a hand on his shoulder bring the spear up and stab him in the

back as you do so you stab straight through him and he turns to smoke. The entire room turns to smoke and you hear laughing. Of course. Very funny. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. You thought you might defeat me so easily. The blackness begins to coalesce back into a, it's the same room. Yeah. blackness begins to coalesce back into a it's the same room yeah but now it's just you the necro wizard norton and an army not an army but 10 undead minions standing in between both of you okay

you think that you might kill me so easily i who have killed a thousand men and more with the simple snapping of a finger. Above him is a giant clock. Of course. Hanging in midair. Of course. My undead minions will. Witch bolt. You never let me finish.

Shut up, I say. Just shut up. We'll go to it. You go first. You cast Witchbolt. The Witch of Electricity bathes the Necro Wizard Norton. Ah, why? And you get another turn because that was a surprise round.

He was not expecting you to not let him finish. I'll fire another witch bolt at him. Stop. Oh, you can just maintain it. I think you can attack and maintain it. Hang on. Let me look that up quickly. Oh, no.

So you use your action to continue to deal, but you don't need to roll again to hit. You just hit. Stop coming back. You deal another three points of damage. Now it's his turn. You never let me finish, he yells. Undead minions, kill this fool.

All right. And he's going to get his proper turn. Oh, that's so funny. All of the zombies are wearing a medallion. Yeah, of course. And so is he. Of course. Actually, no.

He's not wearing a medallion, sorry. An aura of magical energy is connecting him to the... To the clock? To the clock, yeah. For sure. He is going to fire magic missile at you. The most basic of all bitches. at you. The most basic of all bitches.

Three bolts of arcane energy strike you dealing two, four, and five points of damage. So that's two, six, eleven points total. And then the zombies charge in. Only four of them are

actually going to be able to hit you this turn, though. Cool. That's okay. That's good. Two of them strike you each dealing you oh sorry one deal seven the other deals four points of damage okay so that's 11 total you're being overwhelmed as the zombies launch on you and start grappling and biting and slashing and gnashing at you. You, Sir Grace, are enough of a knowledgeable sort that you know that these are not regular zombies, but ash zombies. Okay. So it's like flesh containing a strange magical sand. strange magical sand and the first time they take damage it ruptures that skin and sends a huge cloud of that ash and sand up into the air and living creatures are basically incapacitated by it

okay time to avoid interacting with the zombies basically at all all right And then it is your turn, Grace. How wild upon will I become if I just try to keep marching towards the Necro Wizard? How many attacks of op is that? Five. That's a fucking lot. But if I turn around... You'd get all around them, though. If you wanted to, you could spend your entire action

and you'd be standing next to them. Yeah, let's do it. Alright, you're gonna take five attacks of op, but at the end of this, you will be standing next to the. Yeah, let's do it. All right, you're going to take five attacks of all, but at the end of this, you will be standing next to the necro. I just march forward. What? What are you doing? One, two hits. Mercifully, you only take three than seven points of damage,

so ten total. Oh, that actually doesn't hurt you. On your turn, the charm of heroism hell yeah let me rest stay dead you're standing next to the necro wizard who takes a five foot step back and as he does so he says what are you doing he points a finger at you and a an aura of cold engulfs you. You need to make a constitution saving throw. You pass, so you'll take half damage. Minions, kill him.

Slay him. Minions, I am immortal, but I don't want to feel death. 10, 20, 30, 15 points of damage. I have a pregnant wife and a castle and servants. I have a family to get back to. And yet, here I am. Three zombies strike you from behind. Only one of them manages to catch you under your armor

and deals four points of damage. Am I standing under the clock? Yes, you are. Am I being bathed in the green light? No, it doesn't connect to you. Okay, just checking. You could try to do something to change that if you wanted to. How is the green light working?

It's your turn. You get ten temporary hit points, and you are still under the effects of... How is the green light working? So is it coming from the clock down? How much did you listen to Xin Wulin when she explained what was happening? All I seem to know is that time magic is a bastard magic.

Get a good boy card. Fuck yes. Time magic is a bastard magic. Yeah. So whatever that, whatever you think that that would give me. All right. The only thing then is you know that when Richard Ware grabbed it and dragged it down, he was able to break it on the ground and that ended its effect. Okay.

Do I think I could just stab up with my spear and break it in the same way? Absolutely. I, with my spear, drive it into the clock. You get, well, you don't roll very well, but you're under the effects of Bless. Give me a 1d6 after making an attack roll, baby. All right. With that, with the effects of Bless,

you launch upwards. Your attack is very misplaced because you've got arms grabbing you and dragging you. They're throwing your aim off horribly, but you get lucky and you are still being you still feel the energy of the silver dragon flowing through you you stab upwards into the clock shattering it it ripples outwards and strikes all of the zombies as each of the zombies gets struck by the reverberations of the energy instead of reversing damage, it goes the other way.

They get future damage that was going to happen to them. Oh my God. Every single one of them explodes into puffs of smoke and ash, which you are bathed in. And through the coughing, you can see the energy slam into the necro wizard Norton as well. He looks at you and says, no. As stab wounds from a plus one spear begin opening up on his chest,

he falls to the ground as they begin snaking up towards his face. What are you doing to me? You made it a clock, but so on the nose. He collapses forwards dead. The wounds do not stop. They keep opening on him. That's disgusting. You imagine maybe in a different timeline,

you killed him and then kept going. Then his head gets caved in. Then an arm is torn off. I sit and watch. I watch until he's a red smear on the ground. Eventually, over time, there isn't a lot of him left, but the magic ends first. Hopefully, the next time you come back,

I've been dead for 10 years and then i will leave that room and i'll try to get up to the upper levels to let people know you can you come now out from behind uh you come from behind into the the combat itself you can see that by the time you've gotten there the the zombies when when the necro wizard died the zombies kind of became free agents they started attacking what they like they started attacking their former allies in addition to the to the confederation of uh of uh races against them so they kind of became more of a liability than a help. And the orcs, the goblins, and then the undead finally crumbled. And by the time that you got up, they're kind of just mopping up the rest.

Okay. I'll try and find Cutter, I guess, or whoever I think is in charge at this point. Like a knight or someone hails you and pulls you up. They know who you are and what your mission was. The necro wizard's dad. You're led through the and pulls you up. They know who you are and what your mission was. The Necro Wizard's dad. You're led through the battlefield until you come. You see the king's entourage long before you see him. Royal guardsmen are beautifully resplendent

in their various arms and armors and weapons. You can see that they had some hard fucking fighting, though. Their beautiful armor and gorgeous weapons are marred by mud and blood, and more than a few of them are sporting wounds. The king himself is similarly armored, but you see that incorporated into his helmet is a crown. Great. Fantastic. He slowly dismounts off his horse with some help.

You can see that he's taken a crossbow bolt to the side. You shouldn't be fighting my leash. You're right, he says. We're too old for this. The necro wizard is no more. Slain? For now, yeah. You have done a service to the crown this day.

More than you understand. He falls to his knees and his guards are immediately around him. Yeah, me too. I'll try to raise him up. He's like dragged away very quickly. As he's dragged away, you see one of the guards pull out the boat, look at it, and with a dark expression he says, poison. Oh, my God.

Well, you've got to have healers, clerics? We do, yes. Okay. Do you follow the king? Yeah, absolutely. The king is dragged to a healing tent where several clerics, more clerics than are needed.

Yes, for sure. But enough to make sure he's fine are brought forward. They work on him for some time. It takes maybe an hour. I sit with him the whole time. He talks pretty cordially. At some points, he asks that some of the clerics

be diverted away, but no one listens to him. He tries a couple times, but if he if no one's listening to him after a couple of times, he gives up. After an hour, the clerics have brought him to a stable condition, but unfortunately, the poison

he got shot near the beginning of the battle the poison has had a lot of time through his body yeah his when they take his bits of armor off and remove his like padded clothing beneath you can see that one of his legs is shriveled and destroyed you have no idea he must have been in agony the entire fight well well i i maybe i don't say but like i look to one of the clerics questioning to just make sure that the king is even damaged he is he's going to be okay the cleric nods assuredly but still has kind of like a worried expression after the hour when they've brought him to like kind of a stable condition one of the guards one of his royal guards pipes up and asks is is how and without the guard finishing the question the the cleric says

he'll never walk again but he will live that's as good as any of us can hope for my leash you turn to the king and you see that he's kind of slipped away as in not dead not dead oh my god he's asleep yeah that's more of an unconsciousness than sleep but yeah he he's okay but he's weakened is there like a god or like uh somebody else of authority a general is nearby i'd like to maybe turn to him and be like we need three graves or three plaques or something to honor some people that died in the pursuit of vanquishing the Necro Wizard. One for Jackie Mello, one for Pippi Onderfell, and one for Dane Brasilla. Boffril, I don't know if anybody's seen or heard. The general shakes his head and says, no one's seen him.

You, this general is a soldier. Yeah. The chances are that he's, yeah. You have, you maybe much, I would say you must much prefer speaking to soldiers who just do not come with the faff that you come with. The general just nods and goes to follow your orders. Okay. I sit back in the chair, maybe wait until the king is at least conscious again to let him know that I'm going home.

After maybe four hours, he rouses again. I'm leaving my leash. He removes from around his neck his house crest, a sigil. It's a dragon made out of silver and dragon made out of gold laid upon each other stamped into a a wooden amulet he passes it to you and says you can use that to take my carriage back thank you that medallion marks you and your house as great allies of mine. If you ever have need, any assistance, none will be spared. I close my hand around it.

I'm honored. And then I'll slip it around my neck and give him leave and make my way to his carriage. One of the six carriages are nearby. You hop into one and in five days time you're back home i immediately leap out of the carriage and rush rush for the like the the door to my manor the doors to your manor swing open before you arrive and you see the worried looking faces of several of your house staff you can tell something's wrong is she born is she born uh we don't she born through to ask this out of the room something happened i don't know push past them all right you start bang on the door you rush to your bedroom you're hammering on the door what

do you say let me in through through through opens the door a crack and looks at you then when she sees it's you she opens it enough for you to come in. I burst in. She, well, you can't, you are unaware. She closes the door behind you, but you're unaware of that. The second you step in, you see your four poster bed, the bed that you and your wife have shared since you, since you began living here together.

The bedroom of your forefathers, the bedroom that the Grace family has slept in for since the grace family was a thing lying on the four poster bed covered in blood is your wife she breathes raggedly and heavily you can see she's incredibly pale i i rush over to her my darling she's holding in her arms a bundle of rags which you can see is moving softly and now that you're close and the world is kind of like slowly coming back in you can tell that the bundle of rags is crying i i i look to food it is there were complications she'll be okay though she'll be okay through through shakes her head slowly she'll be okay through i'd like to go over to through and like grab her on the shoulders but she but she's i would not be holding me right now but i came back

i'd like to rush over to my wife but i came back i came back gently reaches out with one hand shakily and brushes it along your face you can feel the wetness of her own blood slowly on your cheek i'd like to look down for the first time at my new baby daughter you see a blue face looking up at you you are what if if it weren What? If it were not for the fact that she was currently bawling her eyes out, you would be certain she was dead. What? I look up at Thudu.

What? A monster? What is- What? That's your daughter, Thudu says. No. No, it's not. That's not my daughter.

And Nell, Isabella, gently pulls on your clothes. What's going on? What's going on? Isabella, my sweet, what's... Isabella falls back into the pillows. I stand up. And then I'd like to push past Thudu, like barrel out of the door, maybe barrel back out onto the front lawn of my house,

get down on my hands and knees and throw up. One of your servants comes over and pats you on the chest gently. I'm sorry, my lord. But I came back. but i came back i maybe i it's the worst he says yes yes it is then then we shall build a grave i i'd like to just like not even comprehending what's really happening sit back in the in the grass the wet grass of my front yard, and put my head in my hands and just weep and weep and weep and weep. After a time, an amount of time that you do not know,

Thudu comes over and sits next to you. I don't understand, I say to Thudu. What did I do? You did nothing, she says. Nothing that you were not very aware of at the time. What do you mean by that? She grabs the hem of one of your sleeves and pulls it up, exposing the tattoos, the magical arcane sigils scrawled across your body. This is

a result of that. Quite clearly. I don't know if you knew, or if you didn't, but you have made deals, contracts, they're written upon your skin. I know. Of course I know, Thuddu. I'd like to stand

up. She's not evil, you understand. She's a tiefling. Thuddu stands to stand up. She's not evil, you understand. She's a tiefling. Thuddu stands up as well. She's not a tiefling. She's your daughter. That's not my daughter in there, Thuddu. That couldn't be my daughter.

How dare you? Turn around. Excuse me? Turn around. You're not welcome at House Grace. Thuddu brings herself, as a dwarf, she does not bring herself up to a great height but doodoo brings herself as like big and high as she can and says i hope for her sake you learn how wrong you are right now doodoo turns around and leaves. And so, when presented with the chance to love, Sir Grace instead chose scorn, and deigned to hide Tiffany's true parentage from her for the rest of her life,

and with this act retreated into himself, hardening like a lump of coal, until all of his soft edges, what little were left, had gone. Hey, are you just fucking starving for new Sans Pants content? Like, you've listened to every episode of D&D is for Nerds twice, you've devoured all of Shut Up a Second, you can recite Plumbing the Death Star episodes word for word. Well, do you know where there's a bunch of extra content you haven't heard yet? Sans Pants Plus. For as little as five bucks a month, you can gain access to an arseload of new shows. Just an arseload. Want to hear me get bullied as I try to explain unsolved mysteries and monster sightings? Baby, that's Jackson Bailey Spooks America. You want to hear Adam guide you lovingly and gently through the confusing world of D&D? Well, guess what, son? That's Hey D&D, it's me, Adam. And that's just

the tip, the very tip of the iceberg. So head to sanspantsradio.com forward slash plus and sign up today for more content than you frankly deserve. Thank you. adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice, and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast

discovery.