D&D is For Nerds - Hus Firma Pride #11 Keeping it Druid

Episode Date: December 3, 2016

Hus Firma PrideIn which our heroes are very worried about Daniel. We get a lot of criticals, discuss putting down a unicorn and sit in the dirt. Cassius is not a very good druid, Zillie has a nice hair and cape combo, and Edrik tries to resolve things peacefully. So join us as we wish for a better world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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where Adam gets to tell us everything he knows about Dungeons and Dragons. Want to know about kobolds? A little more about the war between the elves and Hus Firma? Or just how to be a better barbarian? Adam's got you covered. That's patreon.com slash sanspantsradio. Welcome to episode 11 of Hus Firma Pride, a D&D is for nerds adventure. Previously. I was told I was going to fight fucking unicorns. None of it's happening.

The crowd part and sitting astride the most magnificent unicorn you have ever seen. Yes. Maybe the only unicorn you've ever seen. I have teamed up with evil and scum, have I? Would we like to discuss the millions of dead elves? Some of whom were warriors. Kill the wizard first. Oh, well I'm not a wizard so it's fine!

Did we at least buy a potion of cure like we were? We got potions of cure moderate. Daniel foaming at the mouth charges with Edric at the unicorn princess. Charmed fucking unicorn the Unicorn Princess. Charmed fucking unicorn.

Unicorn's a creature, not an animal. It's fine. It's not as bad as last time. And takes 15 points. It's pretty bad. It's pretty bad. Spiked chain. Oh, my God.

I thought I was imagining. Those spikes right there, those spikes that look like a man's forearm, are wrapped around this elf's neck. That's what I was imagining. You're in trouble. No, I figured. I figured. Just that you're not going to come out of this well.

This is your first year of combat, though. Our heroes are in the arena of their creation fighting the elven paladins. Daniel steps forward. Grabs the torso of the unicorn princess. Tightens the chain until the head pops like a cork. That guy needs to reassess his priorities. He could have come and saved.

Daniel has anger issues. Sassiest. I'm within range of the unicorn. Yeah, you could snap back at it if you want. Am I within range of the paladins attacking? You could attack one of them if you wanted to move over yeah to help she's screaming she's in pain i want to look after her okay you want to fight one of the paladins yeah cool you attack horror you get you bite it it's bit chewing his bits off chewing hiswing his legs to shreds.

13 points of damage. That's pretty good. Motherfucking alligators. It's a crocodile. It's not an alligator. I'm still not convinced. You bite another leg. You don't tear it off, but the paladin nearly crumples in onto you. I want to death roll someone in a river.

I don't know what fucking circumstance that would... I skipped you, Adric. I just realized. I skipped your, Adric. I just realized. I skipped you a last turn. Have a turn. Have a turn, mate. Enjoy. Help out old Zilly here.

You want to fight another paladin? Yeah. Okay. You did such a good job with the last one. You bring the hammer down. You can get four to paladin. On a paladin's head. Good.

Does it crumple like a walnut? We'll find out. Walnuts don't crumple. Does it crumple like bok choy in a fry pan? On a cotton-picking man. Does it? Eh? Okay, yeah.

You bring the hammer down on one of the paladins. It's like his helmet just crumples from concave to convex. Oh my. For those of you who don't know your shapes or whatever, he turns the helmet inside out. Oh, gross. And by extension, an elf's head.

Oh, gross. You don't even see where the head goes. You think it just disappeared into the chest cavity. You fucking whack-a-mold that guy. You whack-a-mold a fucking elven paladin. One elven paladin down. Paladins are usually really good people, aren't they? Yeah.

They have to be lawful good, yeah. I'll simplify. You need to go on a holiday after this. A holiday very far away. Zilli, it's your turn. One paladin is being eaten by a crocodile. The other one was just killed. I would like to use Ray of Enfeeblement.

You'd have to do a concentration check again. Oh, wait. No, hold on. I can't. All right. No. You can just hit one with your club. I've got a club.

Your club. Your club-em. I've got a club-em. Club-em. You know where I want to club him. In the face. What? You like swing up into the junk of this elf.

Yeah, I do hit him in the dick. It rings out like a loud peeling sound. You look into the elf's eyes and you're like, ha ha. And then you realize it's a girl. And you've done nothing. Oh, hold on. That doesn't, it does damage though. Metal cup.

Why would she? She's in armor. They're all in armor. Does nothing? Yeah, does nothing. Crocodile. Give your little all in armor. Does nothing. You look down, little crocodile. Give your little crocodile eye roll. Come on, the fuck on. They're in armor.

Warhammer in better in an elf's life. I am disappointed. Oh, my gosh. One of the paladins. What the fuck? Sorry? One of the paladins switches target from Zilli to Edric. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yes. Yeah, Critsad. That could have gone so much worse. Critsad for the paladin. Who is the dick? Go. Foof. Foof.

He kills himself. I don't even know how this happens. Paladin swings. And somehow the swing goes awry it goes funny and then the paladin's armor falls i'm not even kidding that happens like he swings and catches like it wasn't tied properly he goes a little bit too far on the backswing cuts some of the straps holding his armor together and when it comes back her armor, and when it comes back, her armor together, and when it comes back, the armor just falls off. That's the best.

The other paladin attacks Cassius. Can't kill an alligator. You can't kill a crocodile. I think you can. Impossible. All right, then. You get hit. That's all right.

You take seven damage. The toughest animal there is. Aside from bears, cheetahs. Hey, if they just by chance, like while he's a crocodile, if they just happen to cut off like an arm, does that mean when he turns back? He loses the arm, yeah. Oh, okay.

I was like, hey, maybe when you're a crocodile. Or a vague approximation, like a tail, maybe you lose a leg or something like that. My butt cheeks. Probably not. He's annoying. Just flat. The unicorn also stabs at the crocodile. Probably not. Just flat. The unicorn

also stabs at the crocodile. Rude. Rock and roll. You take a further 12 points of damage, Cassius. Don't even care! Maybe don't kill the plateless paladin. Why? I want to ask questions. Wrestle out of the plateless paladin. Why? I want to ask questions.

Ah. Wrestle out of the ground. I will. Somebody ought to. Yeah, so that was the paladin's turn. Edric, it's your turn. I'm going to leap at the... Actually, is the paladin still holding the naked one, basically? Holding a sword and a shield?

Didn't lose his sword. Her sword. She has a sword? Yeah, a long sword and some basic underclothes. No, I was thinking, does she have a shield? Didn't lose, uh, didn't lose his sword. Her sword. She has a sword? Uh, yeah, a long sword and some basic underclothes. No, I'm saying does she have a shield as well? Uh, she would have a

shield, yeah. I'm just gonna just try and break the, um... Sword? Sword, and in Elvish tell her to stand down. Like, I don't wanna kill you.

Basically intimidate her to be like, just stop fighting and you won't die. Uh, you break the sword cleanly down the middle, like the long way of the sword. That's pretty amazing.

It doesn't cut it, actually. It just crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, and it just compacts it. That's awesome. And I tell her to stand down. Okay, well, that'll be your turn. Yep. Daniel's turn.

Daniel's done defiling a corpse, and he's going to move on to the next one The next horse? The one that's fighting you, Cassius No, go for the horse, Daniel You crazy son of a bitch I've got the horse, it's fine He hits

Daniel has shown a new side of himself Daniel's got issues, guys Like, I think we should maybe talk to Daniel after this I mean, nom nom nom. Daniel's, like, chain, like a sword might, cleanly cuts the, like, not the head off, actually, like, from about where the ears and eyes are, cuts that part of the head back.

Oh, boy. Brain matter and gore and grizzle are exposed. The elf drops like a puppet with its strings cut. Alright. Cassius. I'll attack the unicorn. Chop its legs up. Horse legs. Delicious.

I think if the horse tasted like anything, it might taste like meat. What's that? Adam made a good face. A great face! The best face! Crit hap! Yes, hap! This fight has been like crits everywhere. I know, it's fucking weird. Unicorns. The magic of unicorns. Yeah, I like to think if you eat the unicorn that it tastes like candy.

I hope so. I hope also it's one of those terrible sins. Like, you eat the unicorn that it tastes like candy I hope so I hope also like it's like one of those terrible sins it's a terrible sin to feast upon a unicorn's blood you're a druid you should be like unicorns are nasty yeah I think you're kind of what you fight for not a very good druid evidently

yeah uh you bite one of its legs and you do the death thing. Good job. You, like, hear bones snapping. You don't, like, you don't bring the unicorn down, but you've broken one of its legs. Like, proper broken.

Bone is sticking out of skin. Broken. Good question. Unicorn horn. Worth anything? Quite a bit if you can salvage it properly. All right. Well, let's see what we can do.

We'll see what we can do. Cool. You are bad people. I've started to realize that this party is not a good party. What are you, chaotic neutral, Cassius? Yeah, I'm chaotic neutral. Chaotic neutral? Do you know if you become too evil, you become chaotic evil and then you lose your druid

abilities? Can't turn into a bear. Will killing a unicorn count towards that? I'm going to say yes. I need to commune with nature real quick. Can you talk to the unicorn? Zilly, it's your turn. No, unicorn's too clever for me. You can talk to it.

Zilly? Anyway, who's left? There's an elven paladin wearing no clothes with no sword and just a shield. I would like to tell her to stand down. Yeah, I'll tell her to stand down. And also the horse. Oh, and the horse, yeah. I think the horse has elvish pride.

The horse will fight. Elven pride. Elven pride. Elven pride. Is that all you're going to do? You could still fight at the horse if you wanted to. It might, like, ruin your attempts at peace, though. Give me the horse or the unicorn?

I can talk to animals, can't I? I don't know. I can talk to my weasel. Can I talk to the animals? No. Just my weasel. The unicorn can probably just understand you, though. It's probably pretty smart.

Why is that? No, I'd like to also tell the unicorn that we have no issues with it. It's about as smart as you, Casius. Sorry? I'd like to tell the unicorn that we have no issues with it, and that he should stand out and we'll help him. I just tried to tear its leg out of... We've got healing potions.

Sure, it's fine. If this was a regular horse, you'd have to kill him. Yeah, but unicorns, we don't want to go crazy. Dungeon dragon shotgun to the head style. Big old fucking blunderbuss to the head. Gnomish blunderbuss to the head. Sell it for glue. But it's not a horse, it's a unicorn,

so we have to save it so that we don't lose all of our classes. I don't want to end up being a non-druid. You just discovered how great it is. You don't want to lose it. That'd be sad. Also, I'm just going to point out, we have a problem with Daniel. Daniel's going to need to sit talking too. Okay, then that was Zilly's turn.

It's the paladin's turn. Okay, then that was Zilly's turn. It's the paladin's turn. The paladin, like, drops what's left of his... Her? Yes. Her. Her, that's right. Jesus Christ.

Elves, you know, I can never remember. They're androgynous. It's fine. Drops what's left of her sword onto the ground. Stands firm and says in Elven, I'll not surrender to the likes of you. Slams her shield into your face. Oh, that's rude.

You can take her. You get hit. Oh, no. Shield to the brain. You take six damage. That would have killed a normal man. This is a perfect time to use charm person. This is.

Paladins have strong mental defense. You got it, you got it. Don't listen to Adam. Yeah, don't listen to me. What do I know? I'm just the DM. I'm not. It's not. Adam Cannavale

is so tired. When will we let him rest? Never. Never ever. Not once. Nope. tired when will we let him rest never never ever not once not once nope um couldn't make me sorry and then it's the unicorn's turn the unicorn is gonna fight the crocodile there's a line you just never thought you'd say no you never expect dnd you never thought you'd say it a unicorn like back down now everybody cassius, you take 14 points of damage. I feel like if I back down, the unicorn will just kill me. You need to turn back and fucking be a human and heal yourself.

I'm stronger as a crocodile. I don't know if that's true. I've got better teeth as a crocodile. We don't want to kill the unicorn because you don't want to become a non-tru. I'm sure, though, if the unicorn's's attacking us it's now a self-defense. Okay, that puts it at Edric's turn. I am going to get in between Daniel and the

paladin because I just have an inkling that he's going to try and- A bit of an inkling. The horse is going to get a free attack if you do that. The fucking unicorn. God damn it, it's a unicorn. A unicorn. A unicorn. How's a unicorn?

It's like two- if you do that. The fucking unicorn. God damn it, it's a unicorn, a unicorn, a unicorn. How's a unicorn? Oh, am I close to the unicorn? Uh, it's like two, you'd either like, have to do that next turn, or, like,

you can go the long way, and that's next turn, you get in between of them, or you can do it the short way, and the unicorn basically gets a free attack, because you're moving through area with threats. Sam, the unicorn's already fucked you up once today.

Let it fuck you up again. Isn't it like a broken leg on the ground? Uh, that doesn't mean it can't attack. Sam, the unicorn's already fucked you up once today. Let it fuck you up again! Is it like a broken leg on the ground? That doesn't mean it can't attack. Oh, stupid unicorn. But basically it disadvantages itself on the ground. No. It's got disadvantages, but not to attacking. I'm just gonna try and sunder the... Unicorn?

Sorry, go on. The elf's shield and just be like stand the fuck down that was an alright face kinda look like a guy from trailer park boys a show I

don't see the appeal of okay you break the shield as well yeah this pal came into this fight with a shield

a sword and armor and has lost all of them. Here she is with nothing. Okay, you break the shield. Stand down. That was Edric's turn. Daniel's turn.

Can I get highs or lows from Zilly? Highs. I've been saying lows a lot and it hasn from Zilli? Highs. I've been saying lows a lot and it hasn't been working. Highs? Yeah, going after the paladin. Fuck you. Me?

Fuck you, Daniel. Oh, Daniel is. I was like, I didn't say that. In Nordic, he screams, I'm going to kill you, you child-killing fucks. Fuck boys. I like, oh no. Hey, with the lowered armor that

the paladin now has he hits of course I wanted to question something can we question the unicorn technically yeah

we can try he doesn't straight up kill the paladin though good but he mortally pretty much mortally wounds her his chain like

tears you can see lung exposed lung that's a dead that's a dead paladin that's a dead paladin that's a dead paladin much mortally wounds her. His chain like tears. You can see lung. Exposed lung. That's a dead pally. That's a dead pally. That's a dead pally. She screams, falls to her knees, but she isn't dead. Right? She should be. She should be someone killer.

She can lay on hands on herself. It'll be fine. Uh, that puts it at Cassius is done. Gonna fight a unicorn? If I kill a unicorn Adam what's that do for my druidisms I'm gonna say it's not good but it won't

you gotta maybe do something else killing a unicorn is a bad thing but I can fix it maybe I just if I turn back into me it's just gonna stab me again it's just self to stab me again.

It's just self-defense at this point. You can talk to it, though. I can't. It's too clever. Right? What? Well, you can't talk to it, period. You're a crocodile.

If you turn back and talk to it, you could. All right. All right. Let's do this for you, Edric. No, no. Let's see what happens. I turn back. You're a crocodile.

You do what you want. You do you. I'll turn back into Cassius. I'm just thinking for your druidic abilities, but if you want to keep biting a fucking unicorn, that's on you. I'll turn back into a Cassius and I'll say, Unicorn!

Peace! Heal yourself. I can't because I turned back. That's my move. I'm just trying to look up how many hit points you've regained. Because I know you do. From changing back from a thing to a thing? Yeah, I do. I do transform.

I think it's full. I'm willing to bet a dollar or two. Like you're willing to bet a dollar that there's no female Scooby-Doo? I lost a bet. I lost Scooby-Dee, ladies and gentlemen. Actually, I was looking it up on the wiki. There's multiple female Scooby-Doos. I can only remember Scooby-Doo and Scooby-Dum.

And Scrappy-Doo. You mean Scrappy-Doo? And Scooby-Dum. Scooby-Dum's Scooby's hillbilly cousin. That wears a hat? Yeah, he wears a hat? Yeah. He wears a hat. Dogs can't wear hats, listeners.

Remember that now. Are there any dogs in Scooby-Doo that aren't related? Oh, heaps. There's heaps of just regular basic dogs. So they can't kind of speak and have sentences. No, they can't speak. What happened to the Scooby-Doos? I don't know. What is a Scooby-Doo?

You recover five hit points if you change. So are you changing? Yep. You recover five hit points. Mm-hmm So, you changing? Yep. You recover five hit points. Mm-hmm. Hey, I'm... Peace, unicorn! Don't kill me!

You're gonna get me killed. Seems like a valid, like, request. Okay. Well, we'll find out what happens. Next time. Zillian's your turn. What are you doing, man? Web.

Web? Stretching her clothes. I am. What are you doing, man? Web. Stretching her clothes. I am. I'm trying to stretch. If I was your mum, I'd be super mad. You're going to stretch them out. You're going to spoil your dinner. Oh, my goodness.

You're going to get a tummy cramp if you swim. You've got to wait 30 minutes. Thank you. That's the rules. Thank you, my D&D mums. Have you cleaned your room? Listeners, I am the mother of this group. Outside of this room, I make sure all these fucking morons.

Who are you going to cast the web on? The mortally wounded and completely unarmed paladin or the horse that's fighting a crocodile? The horse. The unicorn. Goddamn. The unicorn fighting a Cassius. Let me try and whip.

No. What? You do. I was going to say, try and whip Daniel. Oh! Where's he? He's bearing down on an elf. Yeah, but she's already dead, isn't she?

She's pretty much done. Is she dead? Maybe. She's not straight out dead yet. You reckon she's going to... She might survive. She'll need medical attention straight away. We've got potions.

It's fine. She's not going to give a shit, though, really. They're expensive. Oh, wait. No. I know. Right. We'll save her. Heal herions. It's fine. She's not going to give a shit though, really. Oh, wait. No, I know. Right. We'll save her. Heal her up.

Charm person. So you have six seconds to make this choice. Sorry? Web on Daniel. Web on Daniel. He's going to be so angry at me. It's the web on Daniel. You'll need to make a concentration check or the horse gets attacked.

Oh, actually, no, wait. You can take five foot step now. The herd has been thinned somewhat. Ever so slightly. Daniel is becoming such a fucking hassle. Daniel just breaks out. He's gonna be angry at me. You cover him like fucking Spider-Man with the balls

of web. You like, twist it around him and he's like in a big ball of web and he just breaks out. Done. Not even a hassle. I tried. Okay, that was Zilli. It's their turn. Oh, the unicorns. The paladin puts her hands on herself and prays for her god to give her life.

To not let her die. Let's see how the gods feel. I can't help but, as Jackson, side with the elves. And a little bit as Cassius as well. I think Cassius is just uninvolved. Side with the elves. Then the unicorn, like, sort of stamps its feet at you, Cassius, and then turns around and stabs Edric in the back.

It hits. You take 10 points of damage. Why me? Because Cassius made peace. Time for the party, you piece of shit horse. You're on 18 hit points, according to mine.

I know. That's not too bad. It's fine. Is it my turn yet? It is, yes. I get between... You get super mad at a unicorn? Is that what you do? Daniel...

Because you should be. I should be. Or super mad at Cassius. Either way. Either way. Daniel and the paladin who is healing herself but dead i know whatever free hit and just tell everyone i'm gonna say actually because it's been two rounds i'll say like every round you made like five foot step just to get in so i'm gonna say no attack of op because you were just slowly moving

your way there and just in between daniel and the paladin and just be just like everyone calm down ready to face off against Daniel if he goes to attack the paladin okay you try to try to reason with Daniel and also peace at the fucking unicorn okay um then it's Daniel's turn what exactly did you say sorry again just everyone

back down and unicorn peace be with you Daniel doesn't attack, but he says, why? We need to find out information, you son of a bitch. Cassius, what are you doing? The Unicorn's just left me alone. The Unicorn isn't attacking you anymore.

Yeah, I'll cure... You approach with a spell ready to cure, and the Unicorn stamps its feet, taking umbrage in this. Just tell the unicorn to back up. It's druid stuff! What can I do?

What are you doing? Oh god, I don't want to have to fight the unicorn again. I'll heal you up. Can't you communicate with the unicorn? No! You need to make a concentration check or the unicorn's going to get a free hit. Because it's too smart. Can't you with the unicorn? No! You need to make a concentration check or the unicorn's going to get a free hit. Because it's too smart.

The unicorn's too smart. Can't you talk to it, like, as a person and be like, Unicorn, chill the fuck out. That's not, unicorns are unreasonable. You can't concentrate enough on the spell while the unicorn is there. He's like, unicorn's like watching it. He's like trying to pee when someone's watching. It's not coming out.

I'm sorry. I don't usually have's watching. It's not coming out. I'm sorry. I don't usually have this problem. It normally doesn't happen. Zilly? I'm scared if I force it, I'll break something. Oh, the web's on work. Oh, no, because Daniel stopped. Yeah.

So, oh, what can I do? Oh, charm! Wait, is the chick dead? No. She's healing herself. She healed herself. Okay, so she's okay? She's not okay, but she's not going to die straight away.

So do I need... My question is... She said it was too smart to be a creature. No, it's too smart to be an animal. No. That's the sneaky unicorn trick. Bloody unicorns. I'd like to know, would it be better to give her a potion of cure moderate wounds

or to charm her first? No, charm. Charm person first. Please. On who, sorry? On the lady paladin who hates us. Okay. Just letting you know, when you're in combat with someone, they get massive bonuses against this spell.

She's not in combat. She's fucking dying. Kind of are in combat. She's not in combat. She hasn't stopped fighting. You's not in combat at all. Kind of are. Yeah. She hasn't stopped fighting. She just don't know that yet. Okay, fine. Back to her.

Why are they- I like to use charm person. Son of a bitch paladin. Trying to save a life. Do you remember what that DC was? Can you look on that page again? She's so- Literally nothing.

Yeah. No shield, no sword, no armor. She's just a guy. 16. She's just a person. 16? Yep. Uh-uh. A? She fails guy. She's just a person.

Yep. Uh-uh. A? She fails. Yay! Now I got a friend. Oh, wait. I don't have many.

Shut up. She fails. Hang on. Wait. No. Let me look up something. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

I forget what bonus they get for this. You might end up incurring the wrath of a god. That'd be a bummer. Then I'm going to kill it. I feel like we're going to have to have a little bit of a debrief at a tavern after this fight. I feel like we're going to need to talk to one another. Be like, look, here's the state of things. You know, what do we think?

No, not charmed. Sorry. Bonus was higher than I thought it was. Like a slippery fish. Like an eel. Like she looked at me, she's like, your hair looks good. No, I hate you. It's a nice cape.

No, I hate you. Yeah. Well, that's my move. That sucks. Yep. Then it's the paladin's turn. Oh, I should have used. Next turn.

I should have used one of those things that we talked about before that I forgot entirely about. The unicorn attacks... Daniel. It's all right. Well, it's not okay. It's not okay. If Daniel gets killed by the unicorn, if Daniel takes the unicorn...

Oh, that stupid unicorn. Oh! Daniel got critted. How many fucking crits can one guy have oh god damn okay thing is so bad Adam made a cow noise this fucking unicorn oh my god I think Daniel's gonna die

Jesus fuck oh no oh no oh no oh no like dead dead or like dead we can revive a little bit Jesus fuck Oh no Oh no Oh no Guys Dead dead Or like Dead We can revive a little bit

You didn't get a lesser restoration potion I have I have a spell You have it as a spell Yeah You are the only person Who can save Daniel now That's my next turn

This fucking unicorn Just back the fuck down unicorn Oh my god Um Adam gets so involved Like he's having a little bit of a moment. Oh, jeez. I think I just killed Daniel.

Oh, no. Oh, my God. Adam. No. So close. Adam makes 39 damage. Holy shit. That's a lot.

He's on one hit point, and then I'm not done yet. Oh, my goodness. It's negative 10 when he dies. It's negative 10 when he dies. It's negative 10 when he dies. We're fine. Daniel is like facing... Oh, this is weird. Facing is weird, but we'll try to work it out.

So Daniel is facing you, Ederek. The unicorn like gored you from one side last round and then like comes back around with its neck. But instead of goring Daniel, and Daniel's like looking you in the face like, why? Why should I stop? The unicorn's horn pierces the back of his head,

pops out his eye socket, skewering his eye. Oh, he's definitely blind. Do you reckon we could just pop it back in? It takes two points of constitution damage. We'll just pop it back in and we'll have a moderate whatever. It's fine. Moderate wounds. We'll just pop it back in and we'll have a moderate whatever. It's fine. Moderate wounds. Oh, God.

Pure moderate wounds. Oh. Oh. Okay. What's happening? I don't know. Adam's making all these fucking noises. I thought I'd kill them, but no.

He's on negative nine. You have literally one round to save his life. How did he get a negative? Oh, yeah. Because he took con damage Goddamn god damn unicorn this fucking unicorn smashes horn into its brain Is that true yes well technically you could either kill you no, but if I do it Oh, why don't you fucking bad Well, it's also just because it's an evil act as well. But you, you're not going to lose your fucking abilities.

I'd feel bad. The Paladin's going to try and punch you, Edric. You get a free attack if that happens. Do you want to take that free attack? No, I'm just going to stand the fuck down in Elvish and pony, please be just chill. I'm surprised that worked. I was like the pony, please be chill bit.

I'm going to say five points of non-lethal damage. It's non-lethal. It's just like, yep, good. Just smack me in the mouth. You're doing great, paladin. Real classy shit. Yeah, like you're a virtue of good. You smack me in the mouth. You're doing great, Paladin. Real classy shit. Yeah, like you're a virtue of good. You think this is great now?

I'm saying stop fighting. You're punching me in the face. Good on you, buddy. We learned a lot about ourselves today. I'm just trying to be like everyone. Can I like pony stop? Quit it, pony. Quit it.

Pony, please. Pony, please. Pony, just please. Come it Pony please Pony plus Pony just plus Come on It's Daniel's turn Oh my god Paladin No one

He's not gonna do anything He's just dying What can he do What can I do Oh you could've made Actually You could've made a heal check I'll say we'll

Go back and we'll do that Yeah Just like Everyone calm down I'm just gonna heal the guy who's dying Maybe we should Sort that shit out. I think I have like

a negative one on heal. You have a positive three, actually. I have a positive three on heal, what the fuck? What, what, what? Yeah, no, you stabilize it.

That was touch and go, mate. That's good, stabilizing is good. It means we can leave him in the corner to not die. Not die. He's nearly so dead. That was his turn,

and then it is Cassius' turn. I'm going to cure moderate wounds. On? On. On. There's a lot of people who do need unicorns. The unicorn. That's a good way to endear it towards you.

Actually, then I could have a unicorn pal. Ah, do the unicorn. Who are you healing? Can I heal the unicorn? Unicorn isn't going to stop you. I heal the unicorn. What spell do you going to stop you. I heal the unicorn. What spell do you cast? Cure Moderate Wounds.

Cure Moderate? I think I'm about to lay my hands on Daniel, the unicorn's like... Unicorn's fully healed. I hope it doesn't just attack again. Okay, Zilly? If it does, we just run? Charm...

Can I use Charm Person again? Yeah, but with the empowerment addition? The empowerment does not help you, unfortunately. Doesn't up the DC. Is it likely that it's not going to work? Would I know that?

Well, I'd say you lose. I'd say they lose the bonus now because you guys are like, you didn't take that free attack when you could have had it. You healed the unicorn. I'd say so you got a higher chance, but still paladins have strong mental resistance. I'm going to risk it.

I'm going to give it one more go to be like. Risk it to get the bloody biscuit. You passed this time. Biscuits all around. Biscuits for everyone, yo. It's the paladin's turn. The unicorn, with like a popping sound, teleports away. Ah!

Good. Well, I mean, it survived. And I'll say combat is over. Rather than cheering, though, people are just super quiet. Yeah. Oh, there's like a couple like smattering of applause. There's like a lot of Nordic people who are like, Nordic pride, yeah. You fucking killed them.

That's not my pride, we did uh but a lot of the merchants especially are like not a lot of good stuff happens just now i'm gonna just like sit cross-legged in the dust and be like hmm what will our heroes do with their new paladin friend find out next time on husk firmer pride a dnd is for nerds adventure. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com. On each step with Peloton, from their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so.

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