D&D is For Nerds - Hus Firma Pride #12 One Eyed Daniel

Episode Date: December 10, 2016

Hus Firma PrideIn which our heroes discuss war and who they've killed. We interrogate the Paladin, find some anti-toxin and Adam gets revenge for Dustin. Cassius isn't sure they can offer safe passage, Zillie isn't looting but is distracting and Edrik thinks they should trust justice to the locals. So join us as we learn about magic bags. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

San Smith's Radio. A journey to the sun may seem like a good idea, but it's not. It's that time of the year again where Christmas carols have been playing for at least two months, so I'm assuming December 25th can't be too far off. And as such, a bunch of our affiliate sites where we sell our wares are having some sales. Want some $14 tees? Well, just head on over to teepublic.com slash stores slash sanspantsradio and they've got everything there from mugs to tees to hoodies. All our digital content on sandspantsradio.podkeep.com is 20% off, including the complete Hus Firma Pride campaign.

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we're planning our next live shows, both in Australia and internationally, we've got a bit more of an idea of where to go. Links to that and everything else that I've mentioned are in the show notes, so go check them out. Thank you all for being bloody amazing, and now, enjoy the show. Welcome to episode 12 of Hus Firma Pride, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Previously. Don't kill the plateless paladin paladin why i want to ask questions ah daniel has shown a new side of himself so daniel's got issues guys like i think we should maybe talk to daniel after this i mean no no no you have a problem with daniel

daniel's gonna need to sit talking adam Adam Cannavale is so tired. When will we let him rest? The unicorn is gonna fight the crocodile. There's a line you just never thought you'd say. You never expect- Even playing D&D, you never thought you'd say it. Hey, with the lowered armor that Paladin now has, he hits! Of course! I wanted to question something. Can we question the unicorn? Can't help but, as Jax inside with the elves... And a little bit as Cassius as well. You approach with like a spell ready to cure and the unicorn like stamps its feet taking umbrage in this. Oh! You got critted.

How many fucking crits can one have? Oh god goddamn. This fucking unicorn. Smash his horn into its brain! Our heroes stand in the aftermath of their fight with the paladins, nursing wounds and looking at the charmed elf girl. Heal Daniel Cassius. All right.

You do that. I'll heal. I'll help him. Silly. I'll heal Daniel. No, you simply come with me. We're just going to have a chat with this beautiful elf. Hey, elf. In fact, Silly, can you talk Daniel. No, you simply come with me. We're just going to have a chat with this beautiful elf. Hey, elf.

In fact, Silly, can you talk to the elf a lot? Yeah, sure. Cool. I can. Just try and find some information about the ground. Hi, elf. Elf, can I speak to the elf? Yeah.

She's still pretty severely wounded. She's like moving seriously gingerly, holding a hand to her side. Can she heal herself? No. Oh, yeah, can she? She's finished healing herself. Okay. I would like to give her a potion of cure moderate wounds, please.

Kill moderate wounds? Cure. Kill moderate wounds. Okay, I would like to give her a potion of Cure Moderate Wounds, please. Kill Moderate Wounds? Cure. Kill Moderate Wounds. Nah, I'm trying to get the phone. Nah, I'm running out of spells. I know, I've got to use the first level. I've got to use the Cure Light Wounds. I'll Cure Light Wounds Daniel, and then I'll come over and Cure Light Wounds Elf Girl.

Oh, you can do it, whatever. Three. Whatever, Trevor. Your potions, your potions, your spells will regen. So. Yeah. All right. Daniel is like alive, but he's not conscious until you rouse him.

That's good. Let's just leave him like that. That's not rousing. Yeah. I'd like to, I'd like to kind of help her up and get her. Okay. You like move her over to a rock. People don't really start dissipating yet.

It looks like people are like doling out bets. But the crowd is going to slowly disperse. Yeah. I'd like people are like doling out bets that they've done. But the crowd is going to slowly disperse, you think? Yeah. I'd like to ask her, like, I'd be like, hey, are you all right? Are you all right? My friend's going to come over and help you out a little bit. Are you all right?

Do you speak Elven? Yes. Okay. So you're talking in Elven. That never works. Yep. Go on. She nods a little and says, I just want to go home.

Yeah, I know. We'll find a way to get you home. Look, we justs a little and says, uh, I just want to go home. Yeah, I know. We'll find a way to get you home. Look, we just need a little bit of information. Uh, you look like a super smart, happy chap. So how about you answer the questions that my friend asks you? That's it. Cool.

She gives you both a, well, she gives Edric a dark look. Yes. What do you want to know? I'm like, I'm so saved your life. So, just information about the drow, information about Karl Hoff, anything that might be relatively useless, particularly about the underdark. And again, yeah, underdark, drow, and Karl Hoff.

My kinds don't know much about the underdark. I couldn't tell you. His agents come to find us, so we don't really know how to get to him precisely. Alright. Karhoff, please tell us about it. Have you heard of him? Have you seen him? Have you seen him last? Is he live? He's with our leader, Pabonet.

He's with Pumpernickel! And where's Pabonet? Good stuff. Pabonet? I don't know. We keep things segmented so that... This doesn't happen. Yes. Yeah. Okay.

The only thing I could tell you, or hopefully that might lead you in the right direction, is drow are crafty ones. I wouldn't be too surprised if the drow... Hepiad. Hepad. Hepatitis B. Hepied. The moon something Hepid moon wanderer

Moon wanderer The assassin just happens to know his location Simply by Being conniving I guess I guess anything more And also the next time we were Scheduled to meet with one of his agents Is about a week from now.

We'd get some more details about that. At X location. Somewhere like very close. Actually, like near the edge of the city of Lorne McCain, your hometown. Okay. I'm super scared to go back there because it's been two weeks. Here's what we'll do is we'll go back and then wait for that bit for them to rock up. And then we'll just send a messenger.

Any other information we can kind of get from this woman? Just any kind of miscellaneous stuff that might be able to help us fight the drow? Because, again, someone who doesn't know much about the drow. She seems hesitant to give you much, like, information. She's, um... Sounds silly you ask. Yeah, I would like to ask the same questions,

but with a nicer smile and maybe just like a gentle, like, you're all right, lady. She refuses to tell you anything. How rude. No, I'm sorry. I'm afraid that you might do evil. We don't want it. We just want our town to be safe again.

We even want to make a pact. Like, if a pact is on the table, we might take it. Like an elf human. I don't think Pavanet would accept a pact. Well, we'll give it a go He's been driven maybe a little Too insane with revenge You're not a fan?

Well no but I'm not a fan of your people either The war is over Neither am I don't worry We won Did we though but the war is over Not for Pabonet Not for Pabonet. Not for Pabonet.

Great. But I would like the war to be over. We all have families to go back to and try and convince them. I had a family to go back to, she says. Yeah, so did I. I lied. Bluff check. Good.

I'm pretty sure you're good at bluff because I know she's good at sense motive. Oh, man. She shoots you another dark look. You don't think that life flew. I then... All right. Okay. We could probably let you go. However, if you don't answer these questions...

Yeah, sure. I'm sure I'm quite safe to go. She looks... A lot of the crowd is dispersed, but very few. I'm sure I'm quite safe to go. She looks. A lot of the crowd is dispersed, but very few Nords have left. You're free to go. We'll grant you free passage. Yeah. If you can help us. Can we do that?

Get some information. Can we offer free passage? I'm not sure. Are we the law? Yeah. Or if you don't, we'll take you back to the town we just came from and you can deal with their prison system. I'm assuming we have some sort of judicial prison system, yeah? It might appear.

You know, there's like a lot of soldiers among the Nords. What do you want from her, sorry? Just more of the information she doesn't want to give us. She shakes her head. I'll die first. I'm so sorry. That's very honourable of you, but dumb, but honourable. That's all I want to tell her.

Yeah. Yeah. How do we get her home safely? Hostage? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I was going to rise up and be like, we have a hostage. Let's not give her to these animals.

Yeah, we'll keep her. At the very least, take her with us. Do you loot the bodies of her compatriots? I was about to say, I want to have a look at the bodies of her compatriots. I'm going to take her away first. You take her away, I want to have a look at the bodies of her compatriots. I'm going to take her away first. You take her away. I want to have a look at the paladin stuff. Those Nords are watching you super closely.

Anybody make sure of shackles? A rope. I'm going to tell her, I'm going to tell her, like, here's the deal. Do I have, like, a shackle spell? Shut up. Yeah, I'm going to tell her, like, we want to get your home safe. We're going to try and get your home safe. Obviously, if we just leave now, like, the other people will take you.

I don't know if you have the power to do that. Yeah, well, you'd think so. But tell her that, you know, we're going to take you, like, hostage. We're going to, like, obviously you have a degree of self-will. We're going to take you hostage. Is that cool? So sorry. Soz, lol, we're going to take you hostage. We're going to take you hostage. But we don't use the H word. How about we say, we're going to tell. Is that cool? Sorry. Soz, lol, we're going to take you hostage.

We're going to take you hostage. But we don't use the H word. How about we say we're going to protect you. This is a dysfunctional team. Very dysfunctional. But I'm going to say to her, look, we're going to tell them that we're taking you hostage to get you home because I think that's the only way we're going to get you out safe.

And that's what we want. We don't want any more bloodshed. We want this war to end properly. So if you can help us, we'll get you out of here. We just want Karl Hoff back. We do. All we're looking for is Karl Hoff. We want Karl Hoff and then I'm moving away.

So don't you worry about that, little lady. I don't know why I said that because I'm a lady too. She's a lot older than you are. She's an elf. They is. Wow. So now we're going to get to the part everyone wants to hear, the looting. Oh, for goodness.

Well, I'm not looting, but I'll be distracting her so it doesn't look like you're looting corpses in her direction. I'll loot. Is someone going to do like a party loot? Who wants to write down what you get? I'll do it. It's fine. While you're doing that, I'll ask her if it's okay if we like tie her up.

But like super loose, obviously. Like just her hands. Among their effects, you find 500 gold pieces. Oh, yes. Neato, pepito. Hey, party fund? Mm-hmm. I will win this. 500 gold pieces. Neato. Pepito. Hey, party fund? I will win this.

I will wear you down. You've worn me down. I know. I'm sad we couldn't get the unicorn horn, but I feel like that might have sent me to druid hell. It would. Like if I'd taken the unicorn horn after destroying it. Yeah. You would have just gone, boop.

No, I'd be like, look, loophole, you kill the unicorn. Great, cool. You've killed the unicorn, take its horn. Sorry, what, Cassius? Just take its horn. Fine. I didn't kill it. But if you want to take its horn, I know someone you can sell it to.

I'm not stopping you. Cassius Christie's going to have to do some long, hard thinking after today. That's like my god. Yeah, but we didn't kill it. No. I healed it up in the end. That was close. We knew we were going to fight a paladin.

There was a 50-50 chance. You find one, like, between, because they've been out basically on the road for a long time. On the land. So they're sets of full plate. While they look amazing still, they only have cobbled together bits and pieces. So between all four of them, you find one full set of full plate. It's for an elvish woman, isn't it? Pretty much.

Damn. You also find... A true love. A, oh. Like a magical sword, maybe? One dose of antitoxin. No! Hey!

Good stuff. Just randomly rolled that. How about that? How about that? What a world we live in. What a time to be alive. That's what we wanted. Wouldn't have really been that useful.

Not right now, but for the drow. For the drow, it's going to come in. And two bags. When you, like, little, like, soft leather bags, when you pick them up, you can feel there's something moving inside them like thousands of little bugs moving around you open it? Sick. Yeah.

Yeah? Like dozens of little tentacles start sneaking their way out I imagine you immediately close the thing they don't look like octopus tentacles or anything like that they're just like rubbery appendages. Zilly to ask the paladin, what the hell are these?

Zilly herself might know. Yeah, would I know? I read books. Well, Cassius might know as well. Cassius, what the fuck? Well. Cassius is there, so I'm going to get Cassius to do it. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you know what they are? They're Tanglefoot bags. Tanglefoot bags. You like, you know how you used to have that spell as Ainsley? It's sort of like that. That I never used. I know I used it once. Yeah.

Exactly. Two Tanglefoot. Cool. And did the, you said Paladin maybe have magical armor and sword or no magical armor? You're just hoping for magical armor and sword. I said maybe. Or have a lock. Rats. I said maybe. Or other luck. Rats.

Rats. That's all right. Two bags of entanglement. I'm not done yet. One copper. And a solitary copper. All right, all right. I guess that's not bad.

It's better than no copper. It's true. Better than no copper. You pick up, like you're just going among their effects. One of them had this like just satchel bag. You pick that up. And as you pick it up, you're like, hmm, it's got an odd warmth to it. You open it up and inside the, it's like, ah, Jesus Christ.

No, no, no, no. Inside the bag is like a space as big as a room. You like freak out a little bit, look underneath the bag. It's like outside, it just looks like a regular bag. You open it. Yeah, like Hermione's bag. You open it up and inside it's the size of a room. Is there anything in the room?

That's a good question. Let's find out. Do I know what it is? Next time. Can we hide in there next time? We're like, oh, no. It's just a satchel bag. How do we get out?

We don't want to spend a whole adventure trapped in a bag. Basic equipment, like supplies and stuff like that. I'd say 15 days worth of rations. Oh, that's good. Take the whole bag though. And I'll use that later. I'll put that bag in my bag. It's like if we go to a party, but we only have an invite for one and no plus ones, like I'll just put you guys in the bag,

we'll walk in, what a time. I like that you assumed you were the one who got the invite. I'm pretty sure that Edric wouldn't know this. No one likes me. I think Zamet has an idea, but bag of holding is something I am familiar with. Is this that? Is this they?

No. I can't imagine it being much else, but I think a bag of holding is like a much bigger area inside. A room is pretty substantial. Like a small bag of holding. Yeah. Bag of room? Ooh, that was a bad one. That would be like, oof.

And there's a beholder in it as well. It comes out and you turn to stone. Beholder would be all right if we just kept it in there. That would be good for like like, fighting bad people. But bad guys, in quotation marks. Bag over the head. Take it off. Stonehead.

Stonehead. And we just crush that with a sledgehammer. Okay. And you find, like, an easel and painting supplies. Oh, cool. What the fuck? Are they magic paintings? Can I roll to know what it is

uh well you like maybe you pick up the paints are in like little pots you pick up the pots open them up and when you open them up the magic like the magic the paint sorry glistens with some sort of magic all right um you don't know what that's about but it's some sort of magical paint oh cool let's keep that do i know what the bag was, but it's some sort of magical paint. Cool. Let's keep that. Do I know what the bag was? The bag is a bag of holding. Yeah, cool. I figured.

So do we know what it is, or are we all spooked by it? I feel like I've seen bags of holding. I'm well-travelled. I'm worldly. We'll fucking find out, won't we? I don't. Ah, demon bag. Throw it in a river.

Actually, no, yeah. All three of you know the basic concept of a bag of holding. Cassius, you actually rolled super high, so you know the exact rules for bags of holding. Ah, yes. You don't want to puncture them, ever. It's not a good idea. You puncture it from the outside,

and it just becomes a regular bag, accounting for everything that's inside it. Oh, no. You puncture it from the inside, and it opens a portal into the astral plane. This is a dangerous bag. From which you will have trouble escaping. Gotcha. We'll just put it in the bag. If you turn it inside

out, it becomes just a regular bag as well. That's cool. If I turn it back the other way, does it work? We can put Daniel in it when he's being a dick. This bag weighs about 25 pounds, but it can hold up to 500 pounds. That's awesome. Without changing weight. That is awesome.

We get a good loot from these guys. My God. I mean, I don't know what the paint does. I don't want to test it. I'm just going to put all of that in the bag of holding, and then just off we chuff. Oh, wait. Speak to the pallet.

Yeah, yeah. So I asked her if it was okay if we bound her, like just her hands, and then like to not tie. The next five hours, she's totally down with that. Yes. Ooh, okay. We'll find out five hours later what happens. Here's my plan, guys, is to make real good friends with her in five hours,

and then we'll be fine. Also, maybe you want to rouse Daniel and see what's getting him up again. I have to deal with him now. I'll rouse Daniel. I'll go squat near him, slap his face a bit. Fuck boys. I know Daniel. He wakes up.

How you doing, mate? What happened? You had a unicorn horn through the back of your skull. He like touches where his eye was. Wait. Or is it empty? You lost an eye, guys. He is cool.

Can we put it back in? Can we put him back in? Can we put him back in? Not without a special spell. Don't you have a special spell? No. I don't have an eye putting in a spell. That's regeneration. That's the spell.

It's pretty high level. Do I have a heal? I have a heal check. Can I just maybe just bandage up his eye? I'm going to presume that was part of bandaging his eye. So we don't have to look? What happened? He says he's like panicking, touching the eye. I'm going to presume that was part of bandaging his head. So we don't have to look. What happened?

He says. He's like panicking, touching the eye. Look, look, look. I grab him by his shoulders. You lost an eye. You got another one. Hey, can the paladin help us? What? Can the paladin help us?

No, she doesn't have the power. So we won. Are they all dead, he says? Yeah. Except we captured one for questioning. Why? What do you need to ask? We're trying to find all dead, he says? Yeah. Except we captured one for questioning. Why? What do you need to ask? We're trying to find Karl Hoff, your papa.

We now know of a meat spot. He looks over to where the paladin is. And then what are we going to do after we find out? We're going to take her and then we're going to try and swap. You're probably with the paladin. This is a conversation between Cassius and Daniel. We're probably going to let her go. Chances are.

Daniel's like, hang on. Is Daniel going to punch me in the mouth? Is he going to kiss me in the mouth? Daniel looks at you and says, oh, okay. But his grip on your arm tightens a little too much. Daniel, you've got to make up for this war somehow. Even if it's just one person at a time, come on. I don't have anything to make up for.

Am I there? Um, I'm gonna say you're lewd. Fair enough. Hey, God, that's about as easy as paint. Sick! Okay, um, you all, like, gather back back to Daniel doesn't say anything else about it you all gather back together um a lot of those Nords

still haven't left they're like standing there watching what you're doing shows over gents no I go over to the Nords I'm a soldier I know one of them like a grizzled soldier maybe you know him yeah he's uh the uh knight commander so not knight commander um sorry I'm thinking of a different Yeah, he's the Knight Commander. Not Knight Commander.

Sorry, I'm thinking of a different one. He's the Captain of the Guard here at Lockfort. He approaches you and says, What are you doing with that war criminal? We're going to take her back to our... Our jail system can handle her. Yeah. I'm not there.

Oh, no, you are here. Just explain to him that this... No, you're right. Your jail system can't handle her. She's been there. Oh, no, you are here. Just explain to him that, like, this. No, you're right. Your jail system can't handle it. She's been attacking your men, correct? Yes. What are you doing? What are you doing?

Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. No, we need her. We're going to use her. Why do we need her? Because we're going to use her to trade. Trade who? For Karl Hoff.

That's not going to work. It'll deal. It's one paladin. Yes. Agreed, says Daniel. You guys, shut up. Agreed to what? Agreed with you, he says. It'll deal. It's one paladin. Yes. Agreed, says Daniel. You guys agreed to what? Agreed with you, he said. This person can help us.

We will get closer to Carhartt. She's given us as much help as she can. You know they'll kill her, right? She's killed how many of us? How many have you killed, mate? Eight. Well, you know what? Eight, I know for sure. I know their names.

We have done just as many crimes. Imagine if you just broke down crime. I know their names. Their eyes watch me every day. Every day. I see them in my dreams. I hate you guys so much. I see you.

I kiss you. Zilly, this is the price of war. Yeah, you're right. You guys paid that price. We don't need to kill another one. We're not killing her. You're sending her to the jail where she will die. This is our law.

She will be tortured and she will. No. Husk for pride. No. No husk for my pride. I'm liking this term. No. This is our law. No, Husk Burma Pride. I'm liking this term. No. This is our law.

No, she helped us. The captain of the guard gives like a little gesture with his hand. A lot of guards are materializing out of the craft. No. I'm going to stand in front of her. No. Back down. No.

I will not. She doesn't deserve to die. She doesn't deserve to go in there. I look at the captain of the guard. We can use her. We promise to save her. Cassius. Someone who's not fighting.

Heist? Okay. I've stepped back. I hate this world. I came back into it. Is she going to be put to death or just put in a jail cell? Yeah, to be tortured and probably attacked by Nornish people. They're us.

We're Nords. I know. They're barbarians. That's what Nords. They're us. We're Nords. I know, they're barbarians. That's what they are. Yeah, well, they rejected me. Enemy combatants and then war criminals all serve the same punishment. Zilli, ask her

how many Nords has she killed? I'm not going to ask her. It doesn't matter. How many Nords have you killed? I ask the paladin. She stands forward, like raises her head a little bit and says, 22. 22. Zilly.

22, ladies and gentlemen. Right. I can tell you these cards have probably killed more than that in a night. It's fine. This is war. This is war. This is what happens. The war ended.

Yes, it ended. These people continued. It ended and it's done. All right? We're trying to get back our people. We're going to walk out. She puts a hand on your shoulder and says, it's okay. I'll go with them.

No, you can't. We just became friends. Really. She's not your friend. You've charmed her. Stop it! Zilly. I like how he knows, like, that was rude of you. And I'm like, hmm, it's not like you know. It isn't. Zilly.

Cassius doesn't know either. Yes! God damn. Constantly getting away with it. There was a war. Things were done. We finished the war. These people continued it. These people attacked us on the road.

I'm going to put my arm around Zilli. And I'm going to be like, Zilli. Get on with it. Let's go for a walk. Zilli, let's go for a walk. And I'm going to try and lead her away as best I can with my hairy dwarf arms. Cassius, not around your shoulders because she can't reach there, but around your waist.

He puts a strong arm and tries to lead you a little bit. Are you going to fight really hard? I'm just going to look at the paladin lady. She has like a grim set face. She's like trying to keep a step up her lip. She's ready to die. No, she doesn't need to die. You guys also killed people.

You guys are cunts, all right? You guys messed shit up bad. Cassius leads you away. I look to the guard. Do you want what's happening there i think um i like hands you maybe like five gold pieces in like a little sack he says go to the tavern he gives you like a name of a tavern um and tell them i sent you that that's the front and that you have carte blanche for the rest of the night. Where's your moral code?

What's it doing right now? I can see it in your face, Adric. I mean, I'm not there. Did we know the pali's name? No. We never asked. Yeah, you never asked. I did that on purpose.

I don't take the gold and I'm like to the paladin, get on your knees. You're going to kill her now? Oh my god, no. No, where am I? Where am I? You're probably being led away by Cassius. I'm leading you away. I'm going to give you the world is gross talk.

Then you'll put the arm on your shoulder. I want to do it. I'll make it quick. I'll make it quick. Together. No. From either side. Whee!

Daniel, back away. You're gonna need to make a either diplomacy or intimidation check. Intimidate. Okay, he like nods. His bloodlust has been satisfied enough that he knows it's gonna happen. It's fucking bullshit, that's what it is. He stands away, but he's watching keenly. The elf, the paladin, she gets on her knees.

She bows her head. And does a little bit of a whipping motion so that her hair isn't in the way. In Elvish, I say, I'm sorry, but this is probably going to be better than if I gave you to them. Any last words or any last requests? Yeah, don't kill me, you cunt. My gods, watch me happily. Do yours. I hope that haunts you at night.

I say yes and I just hammer down. God, I hope it succeeds and you don't dismiss. This is called a coup de grace. So there's no real damage. Well, you do immediately maximum damage, and she needs to make a fortitude save of, I believe, it's like 15 plus the damage you dealt. Maximum damage for you is 6 plus 6 plus 6 plus 6.

So 6 times 4 is 48. Yeah, plus 15 plus six plus six. So six times four is 48. Yeah, plus 15. That's 24. Sorry. She's not going to make this. She failed. You cut her head off cleanly. With a war hammer?

Fuck. Oh, you smash her head into the ground. Oh, God. Cleanly? That was all super quiet. Did Zilly hear? Did I hear it? Hang on.

I would have led you as far away as I possibly could. This is war, Zilly. I want to sit you down and be like... Anyway, I'll give you the speech. It's bullshit. You don't hear the hammer coming down, but you hear the cheer from the Nords when it happens. I just want to stop for a moment, close my eyes, and hang my head

because I don't want to turn around. I don't, but fuck, I'm angry with him. Well, it's- Shut it. You can't- What does Edit Star say when he like- 100 it's shut it you can't what's what does Edith Stark say when he like

100% of the shots you don't take said the sniper to his target what does Edith Stark say when he sort of just lops off the head

like you have to be the one to like carry out the judgment a man who delivers a sentence should carry out the

no the one who delivers the judgment should carry out the sentence or something. Exactly. I look at the guard captain and I'm like, we good? He puts his hands on his hips and says, you sure you don't want that carte blanche? We good. He gives a little bit of a shrug. He seems pretty satisfied.

Food and drink from the tavern. He's trying to bribe Edric over here. They were basically going to probably torture her. Yeah, I know. I am well aware. Because she killed 22 of their countrymen. Well, you fucking killed 8 of hers. So, it's fine. And I bet your squad

killed a lot more than 8. I'm a soldier, Ellie. You're not a soldier, you're a force. Anyway, I want to sit you down and I want to be like, Zilly, the world is gross. You've been living your whole life, you know, in Hoss Firm or in fucking, what's the name of our town? Lor McCain.

You've been living your whole life in Lor McCain. And, you know, it's not great there, but it's not this. You know, if you want to leave Lorne McCain, if you really want to get out there in the world, this is the kind of stuff that happens. Yeah, well, you know what? There's probably more honour on the other side of the world. Well, you would think so.

When you spoke about all those people you travelled with, that Ainsley chick, she sounded all right. Grayson sounded dashing. They told me once of this adventure they had. They were in the pirate keep, and they decided that they needed money or something. It's hard to recall. And this cleric, he said that if they killed the cleric next door to them, that he'd give them money.

So they did. They killed the cleric and from memory his son. And then they went back to the first cleric and killed him as well. The world's ugly all over, silly. You can't escape it. You're safer. I just walk away. I just walked away from Cassius I'm done, I don't want to hear her bullshit

It's fine, I'm going to go and think about Saddling up the horses White elf blood from my war hammer I'm going to talk to Mr. Fist I'm going to be like, remember when we were just hunting wizards Mr. Fist is like, that was some seriously heavy shit that just went down, wasn't it? I know, like... I'd like to get on my horse.

Like, we killed wizards. I mean, it's my night time. Guys, I'm not ready for this. I'm not going to be able to sleep. I roll up a sleeve, revealing eight. And just add another one. As a reminder. I'd like to, when we all pack up and leave,

I'd like to be on my horse and sit very upright ahead. And then any time they start to talk to me, I'm just like, don't. I'm not talking to you. I know you won't. Daniel comes up and pinches your bum. How do you feel? How do you feel, you fuck? What?

What? How's it feel? Hold on, what? Hold on, hold on, hold on. How's it feel? What is going on? I didn't hear the first part. What? You pinched my butt? Daniel comes up and pinches your bum.

How does it feel? How do you feel? This is what you did to Dustin. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. This is what happened. This is what you did to Dustin. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. No, Ali did. But Lily didn't. I would like to just consistently.

I'm having a joke. No, you're not. Yeah, I am. Anyway. So we saddle up and go on our merry way back to our town. Yeah, a merry way. Are you going to Lockport first or just straight home? Let's go straight home.

I don't want to go to Lockport. Yeah, we're done with Lockport. Okay, cool. So on the ride home, I kind of want to saddle up to Zilly over there and just have a quick conversation about the world and that I'm sorry that we had to do this but it was the only sort of

possible solution that was there and try to at least give you a small comfort, not a big one because I don't think there is that in this world we're living not in this season the sad season.

But at least be like, look, I'm sorry. I know what you wanted to do, but there was just no way we could do it. And at least be happy in the knowledge that she got a quick death. I'm going to be pretty salty back. But I kind of am coming around. I don't want to admit it. I don't want to be like I understand, but I'll just be like, I get what had to happen. I'm still not happy with it.

And I don't, I just I don't understand this world. Let's just keep on, keep it on. Again, this is why I wanted you to stay in the village. Well, it's not like they like me there, so. Adam, I'd like to have cast talk with animals again and just be chit-chatting with Mr. Fist being like,

see this, Mr. Fist, is why I fucking hate coming home. Because it's always bullshit like this. Can you talk to Wesley as well? Yeah, probably. Can I? If you cast speak with animals, yeah. Yeah, all right. I mean, I'm not chatting to him now,

but if Wesley engaged me in conversation for the next hour and a bit, I could chat to him. How are the horses, Adam? Yeah. I'd like to bend down and be like, how are you doing, horse? Horse number three. What's the horse up to? Horse light and tired.

Tired is cold. I'm not a winter animal What are you doing here? I don't want to be here Why didn't we get winter animals? Why are we riding snow leopards? There are no winter equivalent of horses Rams? Moose

Reindeer Could we ride reindeer home please? Not to you sorry A roll I made is bad for you Moose. What? Moose? Moose. Reindeer. Could we ride reindeer home, please? All right. Not to you, sorry. That's a rule I made is bad for you, so I'm pretty happy. Okay. This is such a good time. Oh, Adam.

Will our heroes find any winter animals to take them back home? Find out next time on Husk Firm of Pride, a D&D is for Nerds adventure. pride at D&D is for Nerds Adventure. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com. Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content, we have just what you need to scratch that itch. D&D is for Nerds Plus, the symbol, not the word,

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