D&D is For Nerds - Hus Firma Pride #14 Animal Companions

Episode Date: December 20, 2016

Hus Firma PrideIn which our heroes seek help from the Winter Wolves. We talk like Scooby Doo, get rid of their opposing ideals and try to get a wolf pack. Cassius doesn't really know wolves, Zillie doesn't feel it happening and Edrik has mixed feelings about killing the wolves. So join us as we throw people into rivers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SansPants RadioScope and subscribe to keep up to date with all our video nonsense. It's like a podcast, except for your eyes. And also your ears. Welcome to episode 14 of Hus Firma Pride, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Previously. You know, within seven days, around the edge of Lor McCain, there was a planned meetup with the Brat. To tell you that it's burning buildings, you need to understand that to see burning buildings in this means it's an intense fire. Any message we send, we're pretty sure is intercepted,

and we really just lose people doing that. You're pretty sure that whatever has happened to these people has happened super recently. Within that is this little glass ball with a smoky substance inside. You identify it as some sort of divination object. You're not sure exactly what it does.

Some sort of magical fire that burnt from devil's flame, she says. I'm just gonna go over and say my goodbyes to Mistra, because she's dead. She's dead. That's our mom, dad. Doable. We could try and take them through the night. I mean, we have 15 men,

but then we also have, like, fucking 100 wounded. I'm about to get to that. It means abandoning our wounded. It means giving them an honorable death. I just want to tell Daniel that it's a really bad idea to split up. It's not going to help him find Karhoff. Remember Karhoff?

Yeah. Karhoff! We return to Lor McCain where our heroes are trying to evacuate the city. So 40 people who can't be moved, 15 people who can fight and about 10 odd who can't fight but can move.

So options are we can pretty much move 25. Yeah. Basically what will happen is if we can get word to to lock fort uh we'll probably start the war again don't want that these people um this isn't like any npc talking this is me talking uh these drow aren't like with the elf like the elves issued an official like withdrawal of all forces these drow are not working like none of the people you've been fighting are working anymore officially with the elves we could send a message to lockford but with the blizzard are they gonna even hear is it gonna even arrive how can we send a message? Well, exactly. Animal messenger. I'm like, exactly. Wait!

I do have animal messenger. You have an owl as well. I'm not sending him out in the blizzard. It's cold. Where is it? Ghost sound. No, I have message. I have message.

Great. I think message only works for like 100 feet odd. Okay. Whispered conversation at a distance. Why would I ask for that spell, Adam? What's the range on that spell? I actually don't think I have animal messenger. Medium.

So that's 100 feet plus 25 feet per level, so level 5. I just didn't lie. So 225 feet, you can whisper a conversation with someone. Hold animal, reduce animal. Why did I pick that spell? Because at 225 feet, you can have a whispered conversation. It's not a long distance message, but you know. You're across the room and you're like, I don't have animal messenger.

225 feet, do you know how long that is? I was telling a bad lie. Yeah, it's a lot more than a room. If you are across the room, you can be like, kill that cat. And they can be like, okay. Oh, I do, there it is. There you go. Sorry, I found animal messenger animal messenger. I thought I'd lost it. Are there mice around?

No, bunnies. I'm not finding a bunny in a voice. It's not even that a mouse won't make it in that much time. A mouse will die before it gets there. So, for the listeners at home, animal messenger, he, um, like, gives an animal a message magically, and the animal is compelled

to deliver it so like with a mouse so there's a limit to like this spell lasts for 5 days a mouse isn't going to make that in 5 days and a mouse isn't going to make 1 day in the snow Mr. Fist isn't going to make it either is he uh Mr. Fist might

like the blizzard is dying down once it's died yeah are there any like crows or blizzard is dying down once it's died. Are there any crows or birds? None that you can find right now. Help us out here, Adam. No. Okay. I could send a message to Lockford, but... Bugs? No, they won't. But what?

Well, what would it achieve? If it's happening tonight, they're not going to be here and die. We don't know if it's happening tonight, plus, at least it's a three-day trek. We might be able to hold this town for a couple of days. If it's every other night, tonight we might get a reprieve. Reprieve. Reprieve.

Tomorrow they attack. The next day we might get reinforcements. Jackson's got the biggest salty look on his face. What do you mean? I don't know if it's Cassius or Jackson So if we can send a message to Lockfort Go send a message to Lockfort How?

The impromptu guard captain turns around and says Yes, if you can send your owl, send it now Why wait? Alright, alright, alright I'm going to turn around, speak with animal And be like Mr. Fist Mr. Fist is like, I know what's happening.

I got the skinny on this one. I don't want to do this to you, Mr. Fist. You know, this whole situation is fucked. Yeah, because all we're hearing is like things Cassie said. But would you do it for me, Mr. Fist? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Mr. Fists? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Mr. Fists loves you so much.

Yeah, I can't talk to people, though. You've got to give me the note or something. Yeah, all right. No, he just goes there and tries to do owl charades. Owl charades. That's a good word. Charades. Owl charades.

Hey, guys, do you guys want to play a game of owl charades? I'm pretty sure owl charades was just killed in a strike against ISIS. I don't have anything to write a note down with. I thought it was funny. Oh, no, I do. Oh, you do? Yeah, yeah. Oops.

I dropped my pencil. I have. I'm sure it says. Pen for a pen, I see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I'm going to draft a message to Lockfoot. Be like, Law McCain in danger. Send reinforcements.

Pretty please. Drow attacks almost nightly. Cassius. Stop. Stop. The war is harsh. Stop. I miss your sweet embrace.

And then I'll tie it to Mr. Fist's leg. Leg. What are you going to tie it to? His eyeball? You just paused like you didn't know what to tie it to. I was trying to help you out there. Like Ali said earlier, give me a hand. I could give you a hand, give you a leg. Yeah, I'll tie it to his leg.

Okay. Mr. Fist flies off into the night. Day. It's daytime. Into the blizzard. It's his nighttime, though. It is. I want to turn around and angrily yell,

It's his nighttime, you know! There are 15 people here, able-bod know. There are 15 people here able-bodied. There are 40 dead. I'm going to slap Cassius. Whoa. Are you looking to fight, my friend? No. Oh, no, Cassius.

Actually, can I, as he goes to slap me, can we roll initiative? Because I just want to put a hand in his face. Like, don't you fucking do that. If he gets a surprise attack, then if this continues, we can we roll initiative because i just want to put a hand in his face like well he gets a fucking do that he gets a surprise attack then if this continues we can go to initiative good uh like a hard slap just a clip a clip on the ear clip this fucking town is tearing us apart it is brow beating me down i can't wait to get out i don't know why you like slap at cassius and maybe it like Bounces

The slap isn't necessarily well placed And it just skips off your shoulder Poldron Cassius and it doesn't actually Hurt you The fuck is your problem there are people dying here He makes contact but no damage I'm gonna just turn to the guard What can we do to set up reinforcements

To barricades you know what can we do here Also if wements, to barricades? What can we do here? Also, if we get all of us sick in one building, it's easier to defend one building than a town. Not everyone will fit in one building is the problem. Not even if we squeeze them in tight for the night? Not even then. It's like you'd be piling people on top of each other, essentially. Yeah.

And we need the second level of the smithy because it provides a strategic advantage. And there's nothing else out there. There's no trees and shit we can try and... No, they've leveled pretty much everything. Anything that did exist has been leveled to make barricades. Herge is out there, the guy says. Somewhere out there.

She's a while away, though, yeah? We don't know. She went maybe about a week ago. We haven't seen her since. Worrying. I can still go and ask the winter wolves for help. Just saying. It's able-bodied wolves. on okay there are worse ideas in the

world okay they're also to the north yeah but how how far out before i'm hitting winter wolf territory hard to say they've been like uh loma cane hasn't like had hunters out in the wild for a while now so it's hard to say like they don't have any, I hate to say the word necessarily, but they don't have any intelligence on the area around Lorne McCain. So they couldn't give you any type of detail to that effect. Well, you can do that. I mean, what do we need? How do we help you with that?

You don't need, there's nothing really. What do you do? Do you turn into a wolf? I go out there. I look for wolves, talk to the wolves, see if I can strike a deal. Canvas them for information. Good. Have you seen this winter wolf?

I turn to the... And then he talks like Scooby-Doo. I don't know what to do. Okay, do that. Cassie is a zoo. We love you. I'm going to head out to find wolves. Just on your own?

I'll bring one of the able-bodied men with me. Well, why don't you bring one of us with you? All right, come on. I can talk to animals. No, can I? You can talk to your weasel. I can talk to my weasel. Yeah.

Fine. Do you need us with you? What do you need? Maybe for defense if the wolves attack. Alright. The winter wolves are vicious. I think all three of you should go, says the impromptu captain.

You should really get a name. Someday. Jasmine. Jasmine Thunderfist. No. Jasmine Thundercock. No. Jasmine Cockthist. No. Jasmine Thundercock. No. Jasmine Cockthunder. Yes. I don't even know why I suggested it to you guys.

I should have just thought of one myself. That's on you, Adam. Yeah, that's a little bit your fault. All right. Well, we'll have... Ali's drawn a picture of a ghost dinner party. Everyone, listeners, well done, Ali. Congratulations.

Show the ghost sci-fi. We want to be back though before nightfall clearly so it's about midday now let's give ourselves until say like 4 Bertram his name is Jasmine Bertram Bertram

just Bertram Thunderfist Bertram call him anything else and I'm gonna kill you. It's aneurysm city, bitches. What's that? It's pollen in the air. It's aneurysm season.

Can you smell that? All right. Let's give ourselves about three hours to find some wolf allies. Yeah. Let's head out into the snow. Didn't see it going this way, did you, Adam? Daniel is back at the camp. Yeah.

Good. No, Daniel's going to come with. He wants to be involved. Damn it, Daniel. God damn it, Daniel. God, Daniel. Captain said three of us, not four. Well, you can try to convince him to stay.

Daniel. I try to convince him to stay. Daniel. I try to convince him to stay. Maybe just in case something happens. No. Can I try and intimidate him to stay? You stay where you fucking are, Daniel. No. Oh, wait, actually.

Hang on, let me check. Wait, actually, yes. I don't know if you have points to intimidate. I think I do. I can't remember off the top of my head. You don't. I don't. Goddamn. Zilly might want to try. Yeah think I do. Off the top of my head. You don't. I don't. Goddamn.

Zilly might want to try. Yeah, I do. Convince him. Convince him with your love of Daniel. Yeah, there we go. Once again. He loves you. Yeah, that's nice.

Once again, you use your friendship. You're like, hey, you need to defend the town. They need as many people as they can. We're just taking as few people as we can to go do this he's like unhappy about it

he's super like fired up he's ready to kill right now but I guess maybe you remind him that killing isn't necessarily what this mission is going to be about yeah true this is a peace mission with the winter wolves fuck a week

it'll work desperate times lead for desperate measures with the winter wolves. With the wolves. Fuck a week, dude. It'll work. Desperate times lead for desperate measures. Sometimes you've got to get wolves to defend your town against drow. That's true. Do the wolves hate drow? Let's convince them they do. Yes.

This might go so wrong. This might go a bit... It's not going great. It's definitely not going great. Just like the end of us all getting mauled to death by wolves. It's fine. We leave this godforsaken place and that's a relief. We'll shovel off this mortal coil.

I had an adventure planned. I thought I knew what was going to happen. This will only take a couple hours, Adam. We'll be back for the adventure. Don't worry. I had pages marked. Yeah. On the way here, I'm like, yeah, just quickly make sure I've got everything ready.

Oh, he's moving his little stickers. They have stickers to mark pages in books. He's taken them out. He's taken his tabs out. We've seriously pissed him off. I reckon I know what's gonna happen. They're gonna go there, they're gonna see this, they're gonna be like, fuck that,

and they're gonna go there. They're gonna be like, drow, definitely a big problem. We should do something about them. No, packed with the winter wolves. Winter wolves kinda die down as a problem. Why even mention them? They're gonna help with the drow problem. As once our town is secure,

then we can do the adventure that you want. Adam, we gotta protect the town with winter wolves. You killed, you killed Mistra. You killed our ma. I haven't killed her yet. She's going to die. She's going to go the way of, you know, Griffpum, Grayson, you know, all of the people who die.

Grayson, heart attack after we last saw him on the cot. Shut up. I just wanted to say, Ali. I say Ali. Who's this? I'm not an emperor. I just wanted to say Ally Ally and then Ainsley spends the rest of her life this part's gonna get cut okay um so uh Zilly and Edric

you're like out there and you're like we don't know what to look for Cassius however has got your back Cassius is like And Edric, you're like out there and you're like, we don't know what to look for. Cassius, however, has got your back. Cassius is like, I know what wolf tracks look like. We're flanking Cassius, I'm assuming. I'd like to cast attack to animals. Okay. The blizzard is almost completely coming right back.

Oh, no. Shit. In my head, I'm like, oh, man, it'd be amazing if it did. And it did. Could we have done everything differently, guys? So, yeah, it's back to hand in front of face conditions. Literally, we step out blizzard. Oh, it's like maybe within another hour or so

That's just you're like Oh Mr. Fists I thought it was going to die down But it came back How's my connection with him doing? Sorry? How's my connection with him doing? You lost it a while ago

No it's got like a range of I think a mile or something What's my connection with him doing? Oh, you lost it a while ago. Severed because he's dead. No, it's got like a range of, I think, a mile or something. Let me look up what a range it is. I need to know. I need to know he's safe out there. If he dies, I mean, I'll be able to get an ape, so that's good. But sad. Good for Jackson, sad for Cassius. Yeah, exactly.

Jackson's like, yes, ape body. Cassius is like, no, heartbroken. I know, you've lost everything. I was a child. Mr. Fists, two. Ape edition. Ape fists. Can you be like Mr. Fisty Cuffs?

Yes. I think that's a good idea. Mayor Fisty Cuffs. I can't believe you're not Mr. Fisty Cuffs. I know. be like mr fisty cups yes yeah i think that's a good idea mere fisty coughs like mr fist lost the wind sign our monsieur fisties it's it's time for you to go right you did all right you're gone now call him one-eyed meester and poke out one of his eyes when we get an eight. No. We're like, in memory. Jam! It's because Daniel also has one eye. How adorable. He's only this fucking down has one eye.

It's all just lose one eye just for camaraderie. For the sake of the team. Yeah. We are not a great team. I'll say it. But we are going to become a great team. When? Any day now.

Because I don't feel it's happening. Any day now. You just got to believe. Once we defend this town. Once we get through all the kind of just like, hey, I care about my owl more than I care about a whole town full of people. And like, hey. Once we get rid of that nonsense. Once we get rid of our

terrible opposing ideals we all we are all in such opposition. I just can't wait for this to end so Zilly can go off and live in motherfucking Azabarill and have a beautiful time learning wizard magic. You'll be accepted for the

first time in your life. I know. I'm excited. Where are you from? There's a lot of time in your life. I know. That'd be nice. I'm excited. Where are you from? Oh, there's a lot of elves over there. I'll just not bring it up. Banish! No. Me and Wesley will travel the world. Sold to the Pirate King.

Oh, I would reign supreme in the Pirate Kingdom of Zilli. Zilli? Yeah. Yeah, you're so naive. I know. You'd be like, I guess I'll come on this ship. Slave ship, would you say? So I can't find the rules for it.

So I'm going to assume you've just lost contact in the last hour or so. That's fair enough. All right, I cast detect animals. Do I notice any wolves? Just like a rabbit. Highs or lows? Lows. Okay.

Yeah, you spot, like, with your detect magic, you spot some wolves, like, maybe 50 feet away from where you guys are. Yeah, super close. Oh, no. Because of the blizzard, you can't tell. Like, you wouldn't have been able to see them otherwise. And you're pretty sure they're unaware of you. They're, like, hunched over, like you wouldn't have been able to see them otherwise, and you're pretty sure they're unaware of you, they're like hunched over

like marching in a direction there's uh, uh, eight of them in total like a proper pack okay, uh, I wanna use my nature, whatever that one is the survival one, to try and tell which one is the alpha in the wolf pack what?

I got a plan here lads! hard to say, they're like moving in like a I think I know where your brain is going and I'm not liking it they're not moving in any rough formation that you can tell they're just like all moving together basically hard to tell oof oof oof oof

because I want to charm one and if I can charm the leader that's not what I thought you were going to do I know you were like Cassius he's going to try and fucking fight the leader and maybe later to get a pack of wolves That's not what I thought you were coming for. No, I'm not- I know you were like, Cassie, she's gonna try and fucking fight the leader. And maybe later to get a pack of wolves? Right now I know that like, I'm like on thin ice with everyone, so I'm gonna try and do this properly. Um, okay. I'm gonna cast Speak With Animals as well. Although, would that have carried over from when I did it back at town? That was only like- It's like an hour or two long.

It's probably... It would have ended. It's like an hour. We were in town and then we left. And it's only like an hour later. I am so certain that's what was going on. It might have just ended, unfortunately. I think it may have ended like an hour and a half.

House rules. House rules. D&D house rules. Adam's like No They don't exist No House rules

Huh? Minutes per level Fine Wow really Yeah That means five minutes Sad Let's do this

You better talk fast Okay I'll speak with animals Yep And I'll be like Wolves I mean you no harm And I'll be like, uh... Wolves! I mean you no harm! And I'll just try and project an aura of love.

You call out, they don't notice you. You both hear him, though. Alright, I'm gonna keep walking forward. I've only got five minutes. I'm gonna walk up to the wolves. Do the wolves want rations? Do you want to give them food? I don't have any food. I've got rations.

The wolves turn as they notice you, and you hear them growling. All three of you can. Okay. Can I tell which one's the alpha now? Now that they've all turned, is there one leading it? Still hard to say. Goddammit. I'm clutching my hammer.

It occurs to you that you don't really know wolves. Who's in charge? I ask the wolves. Who's alpha? Who's the leader? Who's the big wolf on campus? Yeah, they attack. Oh, no!

Now we have to fight wolves. God damn it. Fuck, Cassius. God damn it. We were going to have wolf allies. We charmed them. You have charm animal? I have charm one animal I can charm. Charm one animal.

Oh, wait, no. Calm animal. It's just a spell. Wait for your fucking... Calm's 2d4 level, so 2d4 plus 5. I'm gonna kill you. HD of animals. You're a dead man.

All eight of them are going after you. They're going after me? But that aura of love. I'm so friendly. Wolves, come out and talk to me! I'm so lovely. So shit. Be my friends!

Well, they are shit, but I remember I sent Leo Shadow having a tough time with a wolf. Yeah. Edric? Oh, yeah. What are you? Eight wolves attack. Cassius, what are we doing? What are you doing?

Just buy me time? Web! I'd like to use web, please. Well, it's not your turn yet. Don't worry, you're next. No, I rolled shit. No, the wolves rolled shit. I stand near Cassius, ready to guard her, but not attack.

Just hunker down. You can just go into, it's called full defense. You basically get plus 40 or armor class. All right. Okay. Zilly? I'd like to use web, please. All right.

We're going to piss these wolves right off. What are the wolves saying as they charge at them? They don't say things. They're like, fuck you guys. Don't yell at us. No, they're like, just one of them is like, kill. And the other ones are like, they're just like, meat, food. I'm going to charm the one who said kill.

We fixed your riddle, lad. What did you do? You webbed them good, Ali. Webbed them good. Pretty much... Like four of them. A full half of them are completely immobilized by your web. You're welcome.

I'm just laughing at the idea of making an uneasy alliance with the wolves. I would like to charm Animal, but I'd like to charm the one who said kill. Because he's in charge. He told them what to do. He's the alpha. Tell me this isn't reasonable. We've got some good deducing. We solved Adam's wolf riddle.

The riddle the riddle the riddle of the wolf Conan this you can understand I feel like I fucked up so bad what makes you think that Jackson we get back and everyone's dead I understand if you guys throw me in a river.

That just seems to be just like, that's the base punishment. We all know. Yeah. It's there. We don't have to say it. Like, if you fuck up, river. If you fuck up, it's river times. Nope.

Passes. God damn it. Get fucked, mate. God damn it. Nah. I'm sorry, guys. Wolf's turn. Four of them are still free of the web to attack you.

They probably try to flank around you to try and get at you from different sides. Hooray for this guy. Zilly, you're the only one who's done anything that they find threatening, so two of them are coming at you from either side. Oh, Zilly. I would like to use... You came and you got bit by wolves. Does that mean I become a wolf?

Uh-huh. No. Yes, it does. Shit, don't listen to fucking that. You are now a wolf. Zilly, you take a total of 12 points of damage. That seems bad. It's not great.

I'm not going to lie. Isn't that the best set of circumstances? Like, it could have been better. Do we want to kill all but one wolf? A codpid in second. A codpid in second. I still have animal trance up my sleeve. What's that do?

Fascinates some wolves. So one wolf bites one of your legs. The other wolf bites the other leg, and they both try to pull. Uh-oh. You're still standing, but for how long? Hey, Adam, how good am I at the splits? Well, we'll find out in the next round. I know you're all mad, but imagine if this had gone well.

Jesus Christ, everyone's going to get bit. Cassius, you take four points of damage. Not this beautiful baby boy. Not my glorious man legs. And Edward. What? They went for me. Yeah, they went for all of you.

They've fallen super well, though. Oh, wait. Actually, with the plus four, you're right. The wolves are just like, I guess I'm not Adam. They like Jesus Christ. With the plus four, you're right. You're fine. The wolves are just like, trying to eat your bloody arm. I'm sorry. I guess I'm not Adam. They like Jesus Christ.

It's winter. They're hungry. I get it. Three 18s and a 19. Oh, fuck. I guess, hey, three 18s and a 19. They didn't do that well. So they're just wolves.

You take two points of damage. See? Fuck, you're fine. I lose 12, but that's fine. You got bit twice, and they rolled super high on those bikes. Just wipe them again. Then we go back to Edric.

Cassius, are we killing? Oh, God. I think at this point, yes! Do you have any other traps? Yeah, I do. I got one last fucking thing I can do. Swing and kill the one that's attacking me. Or try to kill with my war hammer. Forget how much damage you do. You do a lot.

And burr, it's cold in here. It must be something in the... I've used all my first level. I really didn't need to roll that one. You kill a wolf. Cleave! He's going to cleave all the wolves in twain you um just like crumple one of like we just fought wolves for no reason fuck it's not over yet you swing your mighty hammer you catch one of the wolves like wolves mid-leap you feel like its entire ribcage just powder, just turn into powder from the force of your swing.

Like blood comes out of every orifice a wolf has. And you did not know how many orifices a wolf had. I would have said four. I think you made more. There's a secret three that you didn't know about that blood comes out of. And then you

continue with your swing you get another one I'm gonna say the one attacking Cassius and you kill that one as well so Cassius the wolf like on front of you you're like friends friends friends friends and then he like slams it's as if like

a clean sword had cut through it the head just completely disconnects from the body and sails off into the blizzard. It was all white before, it's all red now. Does Cleave like work? Cassius, you're covered in gore.

Does Cleave work infinitely? No, no. That'd be so funny. There's a feat that does do that. There's, um, I'm pretty sure you have, if you check your feats, Cleave and then... I have a Great Cleave. Great Cleave. Great Cleave, I believe.

Does? Hang on. I know you can get, like, Great Cleave, Amazing Cleave, and fucking Sick Cleave and shit. Like, it gets... Wicked Cleave. Wicked Cleave, bro. It's like, yeah, guitar licks. I'm sorry, I'm-

Yeah, so Great Cleave allows no limit. But the two attacking Zilli are too far away. That's why you want to be packed- To be fair- In a room packed full of kobolds. Like, tight with kobolds. Kidnap kobolds. One of the wolves on the web is in range

Yeah right Yeah you wanna hit that one No I'm not telling you that so please You were yes until he said no So I'm gonna say you hit it He told me to kill him all Yep there's another wolf

I figured I'd like run over to the silly Okay so with one mighty swing You kill two wolves, and then on the back swing, you slam one of the wolves caught in the web. Why? So the wolf stretches out with the web. It's just a wet smear in the web. Is it dead as well?

Oh, yes. Oh, I killed three wolves. Hey, you killed three wolves. Hey, you killed three wolves, though. So, win. Zilly? I'd like to use Ray of Enfeeblement. On?

Probably the one north. If you cast a spell, the two wolves next to you get free attacks. What other bloody options do I have? You could try using a melee attack. Do you not have a melee attack? Club them. Club them. Club a wolf.

Club a goddamn wolf. No, I don't want to club a wolf. If you cast a spell, you have to make a concentration check. You can't make friends. He can. I think you're all right at concentration. I'm just letting you know that. No, I'm standing by it.

I don't want to kill him because we're trying to get a wolf pack. We're trying to get a wolf pack. Wolf allies. Raven Feeblement. No, to you. I did it because I'm panicking. To you, idiots. Yeah, no, I'm still going to make friends.

Raven Fibblement on one of the ones I got. Yes. Raven Fibblement. I run from. I run from. I run from. Yes. Ah, you successfully concentrate.

There you go. Look at that. Ladies and gents. The wolves eat you alive. Rinronfrimfram. You successfully concentrate. There you go. Look at that. Ladies and gents. Wolves eat you alive. You hit one of the wolves. One of the wolves like yelps as you bring your hands up, push them down. It's like point blank range.

It's such an easy shot. You just rake the wolf with a beam of energy, and you can see like the- Does it go for a nap? No, it doesn't go for a nap. Oh. But you can see, like, the wolf's grip on your legs slackens, and it lets go.

It's, like, super weak now. Champion. See, look, calmed the fucking wolf. Yeah. You didn't calm it. Cassius, it's your turn. I'd like to use Animal Trance. I'm going to fascinate D6 HD of animals.

What's HD? I don't know. But I'm going to do it D6 HD of animals. What's HD? I don't know. But I'm going to do it. It just says HD. Or I could just go best rank. No. Hot dickings. I don't know.

What does HD stand for, Adam? Hot dogs. Hit dice. Oh, okay. So six hit dice. So, for example, as a level five character, you have five hit dice. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. So 2D6 plus five animals. for example as level 5 character you have 5 hit dice yeah okay cool so

2d6 plus 5 animals and there's only bloody like 6 of them left so done they're gonna be so fascinated with me that I can then be like fellas do you not wanna die today? it's just 2d6 it's not plus 5

oh no that's fine we're gonna die what wolves do you want to target first? the ones attacking, oh Zilly seems like she's kind of got it I'm alright how many wolves are just like loose not attacking anyone

there's one attacking you oh no that one's dead he squished its bits. Three are dead. There's one attacking Zilli, that's the only one that's free. Oh, there's two attacking Zilli, technically. It looks like it's had enough. That's five, so there's another five because there were twelve, weren't there?

Eight. There are three in the web, two attacking Zilli. I'll go the ones in the web. Okay. They're the ones that we can charm! No! I know you're an idiot. It's fine. No, as in I'm out of charm.

Oh. Yeah. Oh, dear. Otherwise, I'd be doing that. Oh, dear. So you are... No, wait. You're not out of charm.

You know, like Crocodile Dundee? Huh? It's a first level spell, yeah? No. Wow. What is it? Charm Animal is a... It's first level, and I have four, and I've used them up. How many second level spells have you got? Yeah, two. That's what I'm using. You can use a first level spell as a second level spell, yeah? No. It's first level and I have four and I've used them up. How many second

level spells you got? Yeah, two. That's what I'm using. You can use a first level spell as a second level spell. Yeah, you can transfer it. So you can cast the first level spell as one of your second level spells, if you want. Do you want to take that spell back? Yes. Okay, what do you want to do then? Calm them instead? I can only charm one, that's the

danger. Can you calm all? Yeah, I can calm all. Alright, there you go. Chill out, wolves. Sorry for turning three of you into smears. Chill the fuck out. But I'm kind of gonna calm them and then be like, do you see what we fucking did? Yay. That'll happen again if you don't come and help our town. Charm only works on one.

Charm does, but calm doesn't. Oh, calm. Yeah. Calm. Welcome to the calm farm. Population? Us boys and girls and wolves. We are so... It's 2d4 plus cast level. So who do you want to start with? I'll start with the ones in the web.

In the web? Okay. Chill out! Everything's fine. We're sorry we killed three of you. Two of the wolves in the web stop struggling. Good. Then it's the wolf's turn.

The one still in the web tries to get free. Succeeds. Uh-oh. It goes after... I'm ready to punch it. Who does the wolf attack? Find out next time on Husperm of Pride, a D&D is for Nerds adventure.

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