D&D is For Nerds - Hus Firma Pride #15 Jack and Coconuts

Episode Date: December 24, 2016

Hus Firma PrideIn which our heroes try to tame some wolves. We deal with some wolves that refuse to listen to reason, return home to get yelled at about our stupid decisions and get the healer to take a much needed break. Cassius returns to his childhood home, Zillie has knitted many outfits for her familiar and Edrik Good Will Hunting’s a little girl. So join us as we finally write stuff down in our character sheets. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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where Adam gets to tell us everything he knows about Dungeons & Dragons. Want to know about kobolds? A little more about the war between the elves and Hus Firma? Or just how to be a better barbarian? Adam's got you covered. That's patreon.com slash sanspantsradio. Welcome to episode 15 of Hus Firma Pride, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Previously, Misfits. Misfits is like, I don't know what's happening. I got the skinny on this one.

This fucking town is tearing us apart. It is browbeating me down. I can't wait to get out. What do you do? Do you turn into a wolf and... I go out there, I look for wolves, talk to the wolves, see if I can strike a deal. Canvas them for information. Jess left the end of us all getting mauled to death by wolves. He's going to go the way of, you know...

Old Yeller. Griff Pum, Grayson, you know, all of the people who died. Grayson, heart attack after we last saw him on the car. Tom the leader. No, I know you were like, Cassius, he's going to try and fucking fight the leader. And maybe later to get a pack of wolves. Right now, I know that, like, I'm, like, on thin ice with everyone. So we solved Adam's wolf riddle.

The riddle of the wolf. We're trying to get a wolf pack. Wolf allies! Raven Feebleman. With a couple of the wolves trapped and calmed, our heroes need only deal with the remaining three lupines, one of which... Goes after Edric.

One of the ones that was attacking Zilly that got hit by the Raven Feebleman. How did it nap? The other one attacks. Oh. Again. I thought it was going to nap. Okay. One of the ones that was attacking Zilly that got hit by the ray of enfeeblement bolts. The other one attacks. I thought he was going to nap. Okay, so two of the wolves in the web just get super calm and stop struggling.

And they just sort of lie You know how a dog lies down? Alright, good, good. Two little wolf pals. Zilly, you get bit. And Edric, you do you get bit. Yeah. And Edric, you do not get bit. One like leaps up at you

and you're like, ah! You put up your arm and it just bites your arm instead. You're fucking destroying these wolves. But yeah, you know, you've got like the arm,

the arm armor. The shoulder guard. The wolf shoulder guard. The arm armor. My armor riddle. I thought we'd solved Adam's wolf riddle. You take five damage, Zilli. Is the one that said kill still there? I thought we'd solved Adam's wolf riddle

You take 5 damage Zilly Is the one that said kill still there? Or was it squished? I'm going to say it was the one that got smooshed in the web Alright, no that's fine I have a dumb plan And then The wolf is still trying to drag you to the ground

Zilly The wolf is still trying to drag you to the ground, Zilly The wolf is still trying to drag you to the ground, Zilly But with a free leg, you're able to stand properly You got this And now it's my turn? No, it's Edric's turn My turn? Can I do this? Well, that's what I thought you were telling me

I was like, great, the little shithead has gotten off me Now do I get to punch it? No, it's Edric's turn, then it'll be your turn Punch him, how good Warhammer, the one that just tried to attack me shithead has gotten off me. Now do I get to punch it? No. No, it's Edric's turn. Then it'll be your turn. Punch him. How good. War hammer, the one that just tries to attack me? You hit.

We're going to end up with three wolf pals. We've got food to take back. Two wolf pals. Could have been both. We've got two to take back for food. Okay. You swing downwards. You come down with the hammer. The first thing you feel like, there's like, so you know, like breaking a toothpick?

That's a little sparring. You keep going. So, you know, like, have you ever held like a small tumbleweed and crunched that in your hand? That's the rib cage. You keep going into the ground Have you ever like pushed Play-Doh? That's you driving The chest cavity of this wolf

Into the earth You drive it like a good Solid foot down Cleave? Yeah, yeah You can't hit anyone else, joke's on you I was gonna say, I didn't think there was anyone near me There isn't

Hey but on the plus side guys We can take this wolf meat back to town That's true Yeah it's provision And now it's Zilly's turn What's happening? How many left? There's a wolf still biting at ya

One wolf fucked off One wolf's biting you Two are in the web There's two in the web that have gone calm Wagging their tails Oh maybe they are I got two wolf pals that's a win

I'm gonna call them nuts and coconuts no buds? yeah they're only got two otherwise I would animals that aren't allowed to attack

animals that don't like that aren't violent or trained to attack don't get a saving throw against calm animals. Oh, that's cool. So, like, if I calm animals on a cow, it'll just, yeah, it'll, like, a horse that's, like, whinnying. Yeah, I was thinking, well, a cow eating its card, like, oh, that's pretty sure.

Oh, man, I'm feeling funny. But, yeah, against, like, a horse, big spooks. So, Zilly, what are you doing today? I feel as though charm person would be more powerful. It doesn't work against animals. That's not how I wanted it to go, Adam. Does that get charm animal? You need specific charm animal.

But I thought it was like, oh, you need to be smarter to charm person. Basically, I'm better than Cassie. Yeah. No, more like it's like if I can charm people, then I can clearly charm animals because they're super dumb. This spell isn't designed for something with such a low intelligence. I'm Zeta. If I can charm people, then I can clearly charm animals because they're super dumb. This spell isn't designed for something with such a low intelligence. I'm thinking maybe Web, and then we get a third?

Yeah, do it. Web, please. You'll potentially hit Cassius. That's okay, I'm not going to fight anyone. I'm also going to hit yourself. Nah, you can't hurt yourself. I'm not going to fight anyone, I just need to talk to them. Web, please. Okay. So you hit yourself? Nah. Nah, you can't hurt yourself. I'm not going to fight anyone. I just hit yourself. Talk to them.

Web, please. Okay. Because then I can trap this one. We get three. We get to call them. Cassius, you managed to, like, some web falls over you, but it's just spider web. And you're like, get off. What is this? The wolf has stuck fast, though.

Sick. See? Now we have three, and we can call them butts, nuts, and coconuts. Cassius? All right. So, am I still talking with animals? That's still going on? I'd say yes.

Wolves! Did you see that? We are your alpha now. Edric killed your alpha. He is now your alpha. Looking around. And all these dogs like... Come on, Adam!

Gotta wait for the wolves, though. It's their time. The one that Ali trapped tries to get free. Rude. Frees itself. No! Zilly, sorry, not Ali. Zilly! Frees itself and attacks Zilly. No!

You get bit! Goddammit, these wolves won't listen to reason! Do they seem... It feeds itself and attacks Zilly. No. You get bit. God damn it. Get bit for three points. Do they seem... Well, that one didn't. That one didn't. We still got two wolves who might be like, yeah, sick. I'm going to squish that wolf. You get that.

I'll just have nuts and coconuts. That's fine. No butts. The two on the web are like... They don't respond. But that could just be because wolves are dumb. they don't respond but that could just be because wolves are dumb like your ability to talk with wolves

does not confer intelligence upon them so you're like we're your masters now and they're just doing the dog imagine you said that to a dog and the dog just didn't make any sound that's essentially what has happened cool

that's alright though I'm going to go attack the wolf alright essentially what has happened. Cool. Okay. That's all right, though. Ed the Rick, it's your turn. I'm going to go attack the wolf that's attacking the zilch. All right. You step over, and it's a really shit swing. Damn. But wolves are not great at defense. They're like, oopsie-dipsie.

Oh, well, it's dead anyway. You catch the wolf. You swing down and upwards. And your swing catches the wolf in its hindquarters. The wolf yips for the brief moment that it's still alive. Oh, for goodness sake. The wolf flips end over end over a zilli and lands with a flump on the far side of you. Cool.

It doesn't get up. And you don't think it ever will. Okay. Good. I walk over to the edge of the web, then. Combat ends. Adam, I'd like to go home. Can I give the dogs a bit of... In game, or not? A little bit of both. I want to give each

dog... Cassius, am I the alpha? I told them you were. Get a bit of rations out and feed the dogs. Well, the wolves. Just like out of my hand. See what happens. See if they bite me.

I guess something like jerky they'll eat. Yeah, that. So yeah, that happens. Are they our friends now? Sorry? Are they our friends now? I think they're your wolves now. Sorry?

Are they our friends now? Well, it would appear that Cassius successfully made them believe that Edric or Cassius maybe is the alpha. So instead of eight, we've got two. Hey, that's pretty good. Cassius, can you tell them, like, two legs good, two legs that darker colour bad? What? They're not

These are wolves These are wild animals You haven't even stopped them from like Hey he's the alpha But if I kill him I'm the alpha You haven't even stopped that They're just calm for right now How long does charm animal last?

Not that long You haven't charmed No I. How long does charm animal last? Not that long. You haven't charmed. No, I know, but how long does it last? Forever, Adam? No. For eternity? No! Till I go to sleep? No! In real life? Maybe. Because we could take them back on like a leash or whatever

whilst they're calm, put them in a cage and then when the time comes charm them. Yeah, but I killed so many like that. A drow. An hour per level. By the way, you have like four good minutes of calm, by the way. A drow's going to real kill these good.

Well, Superman would kill those wolves good. Well, I mean, it's still it's a help you don't know I don't know I'm correct I don't know don't you shake your head

at me Adam we're all shaking our head at you too do you know me I don't know what I don't know what's going on that makes four of us

no I know what's going on Cassius what do I Cassius I've never been this close to wolf without it trying to kill me let's release them from the web three good minutes build trust between you and the wolf in three minutes okay how do I build trust do a three minute montage yes let's montage help building trust with these wolves in three minutes i don't know i'm gonna scratch him behind the ears adam they allow that yes i'm like good boy and or girl they allow that i just want to spend the lot the next three minutes being like he's in charge in charge alpha better than you you You shit. Him fucking great.

He's your boss. You are his employee. Feel free to ask for pay rise after three months of probation. I'm going to say your time runs out. The wolves like you end the spell as well, Zilly. Once we get to the award rates. You end the web? That's when they lose it. You end the web, Zilly?

No, I'll keep it on them. Okay. So it runs out by itself. Just in case they attack. They start struggling to get out again. Okay, but do they look like they're going to attack us? They just want out right now. It's hard to say.

Because my plan was if they instantly got aggressive just to walk away. No, it's a bad woman. So if they're... They can't get out. Okay, so I would like to try and scratch them behind the ear again and see what happens. Adam has to think. I'll scratch behind the ear because I'm the alpha.

Well, they allow you to scratch behind the ear. Yes. Okay, definitely should take the web out, guys. Yeah, they allow Zilly as well. Yeah! They're still trying to get out. They want out. All right, we'll take the web off.

Okay. Yeah. Attack. No. We have that tentative moment where the web disappears and they land and we're like, fuck! We're good. They're like, I don't know, one of them freaks out and tries to run away. The other one's like, they're both freaking out.

One of them freaks out and tries to run away. The one's like, they're both freaking out one of them freaks out and tries to run away the other one freaks out and is like, what's going on? except he doesn't say words more jerky speak with animals as well I hold up more jerky he like jumps up on you and tries to get the jerky aww

I push him off he jumps back up and tries to get the jerky we have just an annoying dog. I give the wolf the jerky and like... Damn it, coconuts! You know what? You have two of right now. The listeners don't understand.

Except worse, because... They're wolves! You have two incredibly poorly behaved dogs that might try to kill you. Vicious animals. Hey, it's a start. It is a start. Let's load up the wolf meat.

I'm going to call one Jack. Jack and coconuts. I know. We should cut that out in case Jack listens to this podcast. That poor puppy. In case anyone's wondering, I recently house sat for a beautiful puppy. It's not a beautiful puppy. He was like what Adam is describing.

Basically, yeah. Just like a rambunctious dog with no training. Half dingo, ladies and gentlemen. Who was adorable, and I love him, and I miss him so much. He only took half of the baby. The rest of us tolerated him the best. He was the best. Anyway, we've got Jack and Coconuts.

Jack and Coconuts, good. We'd like to take them home, please. And I'll collect as much water as you need. This is what you've done! Let's maybe... You go back! Do we take the wolf meat? Yeah, you can take the wolf meat if you want.

I mean, we could soldier on, but this bugger leg over here is out of spells. I'm pretty sure Cassius... I'm pretty sure Zilli is bleeding. As you're collecting wolf meat, the wolves start eating as well. Of the other wolves? Yeah. Yeah, good. You probably don't want to take those.

Even if, Edric, even if you try to skin meat off the ones they're eating, they start growling. Yeah, they can have them. So you have four wolves worth of meat. Okay, do all of you try to do the skinning stuff? No. Yeah, I guess. Not me. Okay, just Cassius you try to do the skinning stuff? No Not me Okay, just Cassius

Why aren't everyone else skinning? Can I? Is it survival? You keep alternating between It's survival You keep alternating between fucking up and doing super well That's the wolves Some of the wolves are hard to skin

You fuck it up a lot So you don't get nearly as much meat as you could have. Hey, it's enough. It's more meat than they have back home. That's true. You're like, every now and then you're like, wait, can you eat lung? I'm pretty sure you can. You're just going to be like, can you eat wolf meat? Every now and then you're like, I don't know which parts of the wolf I can eat Native Americans

Use every bit of the wolf We'll take it back You get sick wolf pelts You should wear one Yeah they think I'm the alpha Wear the alpha pelt You didn't know which one was the alpha I did

That's not what I said. We wear that one. We fixed your riddle, Adam. We fixed your riddle good, Carnivale. You get back with two wolves in tow. How long did that take, BTW? Couple hours. Okay, that's fine. Can we use the rope as leads?

They're not going to let you put a lead on them. Couple hours? Okay, that's fine. Bertram... Can we use the rope as leads? They don't... They're not gonna let you put... They're not gonna let you put a lead on them. Bertram, like, greets you at the wall. How did your envoy go? He says, looking at your wolf belts. You got two, Bertram! Me jack and coconuts!

So the wolves, like wolves run into the town. Yeah. Bertram is just like, they run past Bertram, and Bertram is just staring at Eucasius, and he says, are they tame? Say yes. I'm just going to run. You hear a scream from in town

Not Jack and Coconut Ronan you're the alpha Long story short they get killed They're killed by town's guard Because they try to take meat from town members From their flesh From the bone They try to attack town members

Because they're hungry And the guard have to put them down. That's what happens. That's what happens. I need a pee. I feel like I'm being punished. I'm going to go pee. Oh, no.

All right. Adam, why? They're wolves, that's why! What did you think was gonna happen? They would be my best friend. They're dead now. Oh no. I'm mad at you guys. You better leave all of this.

You better leave this in. We're so in trouble. So, hey, on the plus side, though, now we've got two more extra wolf carcasses for the townsfolk. Are they happy? We don't have to carry all that meat now. I feel like I'm going to be mad at you, Cassius. Wolves are unpredictable.

But that's my bad. But at least they've got some wolf meat to eat now. Adam, how angry are the townsfolk? I don't even know how the townsfolk are going to react to this. Angrily. What was our town guard called again? Bertram. Bertram.

Yeah, what does Bertram say? Highs or lows? Bertram. Bertram. Yeah, what does Bertram say? Highs or lows? Lows. Lows. Bertram is, like, annoyed at you guys, but no one got seriously injured. And now there's food. Do you actually explain what your plan was? Yes.

Are you taking points? Absolutely. I explain what my plan was. Well, he thinks you're a fucking idiot. Well, that makes two people. Bertram, come on you're a fucking idiot. Well, that makes two people. Bertram, come on. He shakes his head.

He's just like, I've got to go deal with this. Imagine if it had worked, though, guys. Come on. It would have been, it never would have worked because Adam is punishing us. Cassius, how does- The punishment begins now, actually. How does Judaism work? I thought you said this could have...

It could have worked. Just unfortunate circumstances, that's all. I'm going to go check on the injured and see how they're going. Fine. You go back in. Once again, you think it might be a magic of the devil's flame or whatever it was called. Whatever it's called as in you don't

know what it's called. Because Adam knows what it's called as in you don't know what it's called so um because adam knows what it's called yes he just won't tell uh so the wounds all still look super fresh like they were just burnt how's the uh the the the mistress apprentice going and have a chat to her and see if i can assist in any way even if it is just changing some cloths. It's a kid who's maybe had a year of study. She's doing what she can, like I said. You could probably do better, but you don't know if this is necessarily the best place for you.

I know. I ask her if we could capture a drow or something like that. Do you reckon that might work? You ask this 13-year-old girl what she thinks of the situation. What's going on? I missed this. It's great to imagine a giant fucking Nordic guy, place your hammer down, hoist up your pants and be like...

And talk to a little blonde Nordic scared child. I didn't say she was blonde. She is. She's Nordic. But I decided. You're the town shaman now. You're the wise one. Whoa, she is.

Did you say that? Yeah. Whole hog or no hog. She starts crying. Oh, God. Drops the tray she's carrying and starts crying. I hug her and start like, it's not your fault. Yes, yes, yes. You're goodwill hunting a little Nordic girl. I'm her and start like, it's not your fault. Yes, yes, yes.

You're goodwill hunting a little Nordic girl. I'm goodwill hunting a little girl. She has completely lost it. She's just out of it. You have actually incapacitated the town's only healer.

Oh, no. Like, she won't pick up the thing again. You're like, you know, trying to console her. Like, no, you can do it. And she's like, no, I can't. No, I can't.

It's not your fault. Well, I guess that's all you say. Adam, I'd like to cuss talk with animals and just have like a little pat. Oh, no, Mr. Fist isn't here. No. You can talk to Wesley. I don't want to talk to Wesley. Wesley doesn't know the situation. I was going to be like, Mr. Fist, what do I do?

I'd like to ask Wesley what to do. Mr. Fist drops his tray and starts crying. It's not your fault, Mr. Fist. I'd like to talk to Wesley. About? Just see what he thinks. I've never had a pet weasel. Wesley's like, this is kind of fucked, mate.

In not so many words, but yeah. Like weasel talk. Yeah. In weasel. This kind of fucked, mate In not so many words Like weasel talk Yeah, in weasel This is bloody fucked, mate What else do you guys do? We don't know what to do Can I try and get the little healer Just to perk her up a little bit

Trying to comfort her It's going to be okay, we're going to do our best You managed to get her to stop crying going to be okay. We're going to do our best. You managed to get her to stop crying. That's a good start. Yeah. She attempts to re-administer salves and stuff like that, but her hands are shaking now.

Her nerves are shot. Oh, man. It's going to be okay. You guys want to get filled with fury and then blindly go into places so we can try and fix this godforsaken town? A little bit. I'm going to chat to the town guard

and find out where the best place to set up to defend the town come nightfall. We can't do anything tonight, can we? We can't go anywhere tonight. The time is roughly around after four. I'll be like, look, clearly Bertram Yeah, we can't do anything tonight, can we? We can't go anywhere tonight. The time is roughly around like 4.

After 4, isn't it? And I'll be like, look, clearly, Bertram, we probably should have a bit of a nap. So maybe. Oh, yeah, sneaky nap. Sneaky nap. Can we have a sneaky nap, Adam? To just kind of rest up for tonight. You don't need to have a sneaky nap.

You can just take a nap. Yeah, I know. All right, we do that. Actually, you know what, Adam? Before I have a nap, I want to go and look at the burnt out orphanage. It was my childhood home. And it's burnt to shreds. Hang on, give me a sec. Can I go back to my little shack and pick up, like, rations and potions and shit?

See if it's even there. Yeah. Adam, can that happen? Yeah. The little girl's name is Zira. X-E-R-A. That is a nice name. It's going to be okay, Zira.

We'll get through this night. Okay, so you're consoling Zira You're going to the child Cassius is going to the child at home And Zilly, what were you doing? I'd like to go to my shack and see if I can get some more provisions and rations and potions Good idea You'll have to navigate the blizzard I'd like to see if there's any tiny little scarves for Wesley.

I'm sure you've knitted countless ones in your years of solitude. You probably knitted him whole outfits. I'm probably very good at crochet by now. Little like sailor outfits for him. Zilly, you get to your little shack, okay? But that takes you a while, so I'll jump back to you in a second. Wonderful. Cassius, you find the remains of your childhood home.

It's, um, there's literally like you find the plot of land that it was on. Jesus. There's a lot, a whole lot of ash. Let's just walk away. Oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, what did you say? Uh, I'll just,

I'll just like find, is there like anywhere that I could just sit and be like dang son have a little dang son moment it might be like a boulder or a rock nearby you like the rocks are like a little it's big so you need to like clamber a little bit to get on top

of it you sit down and maybe you have like a flashback to a time outside because this was the backyard where one eyed mister would stand near or on the rock and like would draw things on it to basically using it as a school board, like a blackboard. Adam, you hurt my feelings. You put your hands like down next to your sides. And when your hands like you feel like an odd lump on it, you come away and there's just a little piece of chalk on the rock. Adam, I'm getting full of rage.

And Edric, quickly, you just consoling the little girl, anything else? Helping her out, and she's like, do you need me to do anything? And it's helping her out. Well, you probably... Playing nursemaid. Yeah, she's not good at this anymore. I'm playing like big seven foot nursemaid. She's not good at this anymore. I'm playing, like, big seven-foot nursemaid.

You do what you can, but all you can do is slow death. All right! You can make them maybe a little comfortable. No, you can't do that. Then maybe I'll just try and make Mr. and the people that I've known comfortable then I'll go see Bertram you probably also have to stop actually just

physically stop the girl from trying to help like because her hands are shaking she like touched she like tries to rub salve onto a wound but she's not got such a light touch anymore and I don't know if you've this is gonna be unpleasant for you to hear so I don't know if you've, this is going to be unpleasant for you to hear.

So I don't know if you've ever seen this, but when someone's hit by napalm and you touch their skin a little too forcefully, you can actually just tear flesh off. Oh, Adam, why? Adam,

you control this world. Why do you do this? It's making us sad. Yeah. So like she tears flesh and tears flesh and exposes bone. Oh, God. Let's have a couple of sneaky words with her to be like. Have a nap.

Tell her to have a nap. After that, she's pretty much done. She's never seen bone before. Let's have a break. You've done as much as you can at this moment. You need a break. Just, yeah, go to your. is there somewhere where she can rest? Is there?

You just get her to lie down in among some of them. Yeah. That's really the best. I don't know why. I'm going to pocket the chalk and go find somewhere to have a nap. Okay. That's going to be my plan. Or try to fitfully sleep.

I hope you get to use that chalk as a weapon. How? It's a piece of chalk. You'll find out. you get to use that chalk as a weapon. How? It's a piece of chalk. You'll find out. You can actually just add chalk to your inventory. Yeah, I will. I'll chuck it in. Well, you might actually write it down this time.

Rude. You never write down anything. And you just go to Bertram. Who had the thing that One-Eyed Mixtra gave you, the little orb? Who has that right now? I do. You do? Okay, cool.

My character sheet's falling apart. Not for nothing, just asking. Just wondering. It's not relevant. It's alright, we can't make the connection between what you're thinking and what we should do, so let's move on. I want to say I whip it out and look at it, but I wouldn't. Yeah, we wouldn't. It's fine.

I'm whipping it out and looking at it right now. Oh yeah. Zipped. Spots. Interesting. Damn it. The orb had some spots on it, Ali. Gracious. Anyway. Back to the house, Adam.

This is where we get stuff, I guess. Oh. So, Zilli, I'll jump to you now. Yes. You get to your house. Wonderful. Open the door. Uh-huh.

Your place has been ransacked. What? Oh, no. Why to you now. You get to your house. Wonderful. Open the door. Your place has been ransacked. What? Oh, no. Why? Stop it. You're not sure. Everything, like, all of any drawers you had have been pulled over and everything's been dragged out. Tables may be overturned.

You probably had, like, spices and stuff like that hanging from the ceiling. Those have all been snatched off the ceiling. Somebody stole your spices. Someone or something just turned your house over and took anything of interest. All your food is gone. Most of your clothes are torn up as well. It was those winter wolves.

It's not just ransacking. It's malicious ransacking. Winter wolves. Adam, why? Adam, why do you do this to me? I'm so sad This was where we were meant to restock in happiness Adam, can you tell me if there are any clothes for Wesley?

You have a look around Someone systematically found every bit of cloth and destroyed it Why? Torn up scarves and little jackets everywhere You can probably also tell from your search, whatever did this, or whoever did this, it's blade cuts. Like someone's gone through and torn up clothes with a blade. The blade is super fine. Why are they yelling at me?

Winterwolves? The blade is super fine and very well crafted. Potentially elvish work. Fucking elves. Elvish winter woods. The town hates me just as much as they hate elves. I don't know why I took it out of my little shack. All right, so there's absolutely nothing I can salvage.

Is there a little bit of a scarf that I own that got teared so bad it can be a little scarf for Wesley? You could try it. I'd like to do that, Adam. To make a scarf. Yes, I would like to do that, please. Okay. And maybe a little jacket.

Adam, give her this. We need to win. You can make a scarf. A jacket will take some time. I got heaps. Yeah, I'd like to make a little itty bitty jacket. You don't have that long. I think the brow are coming.

Goddamn, it's silly. Now, fuck you guys. Okay, so you're having trouble. You can keep going if you want, but the sun's going down. What's the jacket look like at the moment? It's not a jacket. You've got a scarf. I'll stick with the scarf.

But I'd like to take the tools to make a jacket. You just grab like odds and ends of cloth. Yeah. I'm going to write it down. As much as they, yeah, write odds and ends of cloth, fine. And some seriously basic sewing equipment. How good. Exciting.

Clothes for animals. I'm so stressed about Mr. Fist in the snow. Your priorities is like, my animal. This one over here's priority is like dressing my animal. I'm just like caring for the sick. This is bad. We're all gonna die. I'm just like caring for the sick. This is bad. We're all going to die.

Nah, fuck this fucking adventure, mate. We should have just. I want something nice. All right? Give me something. I never wanted to die for this goddamn podunk town. All I want to do is leave and you won't let me. So I'm going to make a little scarf and a little jacket

and we're going to travel the world. This is a no-win situation. We should be, I don't know what we should be doing. Making the complicated decisions. Bertram, what do we do? Allie, as you're, Zilly, sorry, as you're coming back to town, the storm, the blizzard is dying a little bit and so you can make your way back to town in the dark.

I will, I will. It's fucking freezing, though, when you get back. Am I going to stay in my shack? No, I already said I'd go back. I'll go back. Betrayal of the highest order. No, what I'll do is I'll just fix what I can. Can I get a highs or lows?

Lows. Highs. Highs. I said highs. Too late. Your punishment begins now. No. Is this for the wolf, Saddam?

What about Jack and Coconuts? Jack and Coconuts are being eaten by the gods as we speak. You come back as they're roasting them over an open fire. I give Cassius a dirty look. What the fuck did we do? Have I had a nap? Am I all good again? What do you mean? Oh, no, no one's recovered hit points long enough.

So yeah, go to Bertram and just be like, what do you need us to do? What does Bertram say? Find out next time on Husperma Pride, a D&D is for Nerds adventure. D&D is for nerds adventurer.

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