D&D is For Nerds - Hus Firma Pride #18 Captive

Episode Date: January 3, 2017

Hus Firma PrideIn which our heroes ambush the people trying to ambush us. We all get blinded again, use the experience we used from being blinded last time and interrogate a Drow. Cassius creates an earth elemental which she loves, Zillie has to keep doing this shit and Edrik wants to talk with the captive. So join us as we use Westley as our scouting party. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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where Adam gets to tell us everything he knows about Dungeons & Dragons. Want to know about kobolds? A little more about the war between the elves and Hus Firma? Or just how to be a better barbarian? Adam's got you covered. That's patreon.com slash sanspantsradio. Welcome to episode 18 of Hus Firma Pride, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Previously. Zilly. Yeah?

Do you have any sort of, like, magical alarm, if anything, anyone trips it up that we can be alert? Alarm is a spell? Check your spells. Arcane mark? Arcane mark doesn't help. No. This is where we had fun.

And now it's going to be a mass grave. All three of you can probably remember, like, coming here and playing games as kids. Poppies don't exist in an arctic environment. We have never heard of poppies. Milk of the poppy. You ask a Serbian if he's ever heard of poppies. I've read it down and it says horse, chestnut, dash, possibly.

I hope Bertram didn't die. I mean, I'm not that attached to him, but like still. Still, yeah, like that brings it down from 15 to 14. How many did we see? We said three. You see the hole that had opened up the pit trap and you see one drow. He turned into a wolf or something and then followed.

Fine. I think they smell like incense. I think they smell like incense and sweet sweat. Adam looks mad, so I think I won. Yeah. A drow screams as it goes up in flames. Zilly, you wanted to use web against the drow blinded ahead of you, right? Sunlight.

I don't have it. It's a third level, and I only have one. So I'm fucked. Well, hey, we're blind. They're blind. Everybody's blind. Everybody's blind. Duck for cover.

God damn it. How powerful is this goddamn spell? Wesley is in your pocket. Wesley is going to be my scouting party Wesley is the only one that can see God damn it I'll be able to talk with Wesley It's fine

Everyone don't panic We've done this before I gave you fair warning Hey no Daniel here to kill this time Yeah exactly good Poor Daniel So everyone hunker down Defense is up Daniel here to kill this time. Yeah, exactly. Good. Poor Daniel. So everyone, hunker down.

Yep. Defense is up. Let's just ride this out. Hopefully, maybe it'll be like the last time. They all die and then that's it. With the alchemist fire, does the fire just stay for a bit? I think so. I think it's supposed to be like oil that lights.

Hopefully, they'll stumble a bit and be like. I'd um prepare wesley with touch of fatigue and then tell him he's you already did that oh yeah you remember when you like entering the game i'd like to be like wesley please go fuck some guns up okay wesley goes does that yes and and wesley keep me informed of what you were doing because i can't see wesley we're all blind help wes Wesley help Wesley's like yeah okay Are you sure that's what he says Adam? Yeah Are you sure? Yeah he's kind of scared

Are you sure that's what he says? He doesn't say As you command Ah you're a bastard I'm trying to see if I have anything that will not make me blind Wesley's like yeah I fucked him up You hear a drow. Oh, no, wait. You hear them screaming.

A drow groaning as it gets weaker doesn't really stand out right now. It's the drow's turn. Wesley's just... Wesley says... No, Wesley says to you, yeah, they're just stumbling around. Drows spend their turn in pain.

Cassius? I'd like to summon Nature's Ally too. Okay. Number two. Number two, yeah. What are you going to summon? Or as a man would say, what are you going to summon? What are my options?

I always forget. Is Justice Bee one of them? I'll have a look. I feel no. Justice Bee again. I think it was like summon something else. It's summon creature, I think. Yeah, this is Nature's Ally, so this is an animal, clearly. Lizards. Come on, something else. Summon creature, I think.

Yeah, this is nature's ally, so this is an animal, clearly. Lizards, come on, lizards. Baboons. Lots and lots of lizards. Fireflies, they don't like light. I summoned that baboon last time, I hope it's the same baboon. So, with summon nature's ally, you can summon any one second level one, because you're casting the second level one, or you can summon a d4 first level one.

What are the first level ones? That's what I'm doing. Eagle, monkey, owl, snake, small viper. Yeah. Or wolf. And then second level ones are black bear, crocodile, dire badger, dire bat, a small elemental of any type, fire, earth, wind, that sort of stuff. A hippogriff. Yes. Hippogr that sort of stuff. A hippogriff? Yes, hippogriff, hippogriff, hippogriff.

Or a wolverine. A wolverine? Earth elemental. The punching elemental. I was like, come on, bring your jacket. I was thinking fire element. Wesley's like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What did you do?

He created an earth element It'll properly form on your next turn Alright Wesley come back Anybody else just imagining a boxer made of rocks Pretty much Oh that's so cool I'm gonna hunker down and get into defensive mode That's your first round

I'm gonna do that for every turn by the way Just like in a panic You're like I know what to do Until I'm not blinded anymore I think I want him to do that for every turn, by the way. Just like in a panic, you're like, I know what to do. Zilly, it's your turn. Until I'm not blinded anymore. I think I want him to come back. Just tell him to bite some cunts. Actually, get him to fight.

Seriously. They'll be like, they don't know what's happening. We're going to get weasel bit. Can I prime him with touch of fatigue again? He has to come back to you. Yeah, I'd like to get him to come back. He comes back to you. You prime him with touch of fatigue again.

Yep. That's your turn. Drow, continue to stumble around. Now they're getting their asses beat by an Earth Elemental. Cassius, it's your Earth Elemental's turn. And your turn. What do you want to do while I'm looking at your Earth Elemental? I will...

Chill touch. Sorry, but I figured like... Do you have a chill... Chill touch is like cold damage. Yeah. Look at me, knowing shit. Yeah, I was going to say, you're damage-posing one rather than the weaky one.

Your earth elemental assume you get it to attack them. Yeah, but I have this feeling that they're like, because they hate light so much that they like cold I will still do damage Yeah I know but I just assumed in my brain You hear Wesley say Awesome Good on you earthy

One drow stops moaning Oh dear I will go Touch bark skin Just in case they attack. Okay, so your AC increases by four. Edric. Hunker down. Okay, cool.

I'm just hunkering down. Zilli, you can see again, there are four drow stumbling around. There's two dead drow. One of them is like a smoldering corpse. The other one is on his like so you know like a boxer will punch someone and they like the opponent like lands on their feet like arms spread out at either side and like feet like in that position where like the the feet are like doing that like yeah like up against a wall oh that's so yeah like that

i love my little uh there's four other drow. They're all stumbling around still blinded. I'd like to use magic missile, please. Against anyone in particular? Like, you're looking for something? Yeah, I'm looking for drow to fuck up, Adam. Fine. You can target one...

You can target, like... You get three missiles. You can target three drow if you want, or, like, two and one, or just one. You can make up to three drows day unpleasant. Three, yeah, no, one each. One each? Are we fair?

We'll be fair. I made some words on my piece of paper. Whoosh, whoosh, and double whoosh. You say that in Draconic, I guess. Well, no, that's the noise they make in my head, Adam. And I would like to say, Kablamio in a dragon-style voice. Kablamio.

That's Batman, idiot. It is. Kablamio. Kablamio. Anyway, Kablamio. That's a mummy. I don't know what I'm doing. Thanks, Voldemort.

That's what you were. Oh, Voldemort's little giggle. How good. Okay, so your first magic missile strikes a drow. Like, it bangs up against the wall. Like, cries out, but, you know. Well, you can tell that you hurt him, but it's, like, probably just some seriously bad bruising on his chest.

The second one, you're like, your bolt strikes him straight on in the face. Oh, boy. And you, like, carve a large section of his face away. He falls over, his face smoldering, very dead. Yeah. And the third one, like, knocks another drow onto his ass, but doesn't kill him. Good.

Still good. Still good. Still a win. Is this, like, the epic battle at the end? No. Okay, it's the drow's turn. Why do you keep doing this shit? All three of them lift hand crossbows and fire them where they think you guys are.

Are they still blind? They're still blind. The drow. We're powerful humans and a dwarf. A game of fun. Ali gets hit so three crossbow bolts go flying one like Edric

maybe they thought you were I don't know a mile away from where you are right now and the bolt completely misses you Cassius one like by the hairs of your chinny chin chin and i mean that literally it goes through your beard whoa missing you luckily and uh zilly you however get hit by one giant man you take three points of damage yep and you feel a wave of sleepiness wash over you i like i'd like to uh Well, fine. Is that how it works?

You just like this? You're able to stay awake. Good. I'm so tired. Um, then it is... Oh, who took the hand crossbow, by the way? I did. Oh, you can't use it, never mind.

None of you. The bolts are poisoned. We were gonna... Throw the bolts at them. You could throw a bolt. Then it is... Cassius. Yeah, is my Earth Elemental still around?

Your Earth Elemental's like, you know, giving it a little bit of the shoulder. He's like doing the one and two. One, two, one, two, one, two. He can attack another one. Yeah, that's what I'd like. God damn. I love this Earth Elemental.

Rocky. He moves up to one of them. Rocky! Rocky! Bang, bang! He goes in with a one-two. What a champ! The drow takes the first one.

You see teeth fly out of his mouth. And then the second one is like an uppercut sort of thing. The drow's eye flies out of its socket. The drow collapses dead. I can see now, yeah? Yeah, you can see. I'd like to run up to the last drow and just punch him in the face. There's still two more drows'd like to run up to the last round just punch him in the face uh there's still two more i'll run up to one i just want to fight alongside my earth elemental in the same box back to back you know yeah back to back like can we have like me and

my earth elemental have like a dance in a in the fucking beach like in rocky yes yes cassius and rocky living a dream fighting back to back exactly you running the beach to the hug i'll be great you i'll use bull strength as well make it harder you can't attack if you use okay then i'll just attack that's fine okay you punch and your like fist meets solid A-grade, unexposed-to-sunlight drow armor. Uh-oh. And just, like, crumples. Oh! Oh!

Okay, uh, Edric? Ow! You can see the drow now. Oh, awesome. No, you're blind permanently. No, you can see the drow. Sorry, Edric. You're just unlucky, I guess.

Uncle Dan! Is blood wearing off, guys? Is blood wearing off? We. His blood is wearing off. We're good. The fight's been over for ages. Everything's wonderful. Oh, no. Your vision sharpens.

You're like, oh, I needed glasses. We got your vision. You distribute it. Can I go up and attack one? Yeah, sure. Yeah, I'll do that. Just hammer him. Hammer a cunt.

Bruh, it's cold in here. Smack. Bam. Slam bam. Thank you, sure. Yeah, I'll do that. Just hammer him. Hammer a cunt. Bruh, it's cold in here. Smack. Bam. Slam bam. Thank you, madam. Okay, yeah. Leave? No, they're too far apart for that.

You catch the drow's head, slam it against the wall, and you just, like, paste his head. It just smears up along the walls. That's so gross. Oh, so good. So good. Your hammer comes away with brain matter attached to it. It's like slowly dripping off the flood head.

Phosphorma can see us now. You guys know what I mean. This is all for Meestra. Zilli. Yes. Who's left? One drow. One very scared looking drow. Let me decide how I'm going to fuck him up. Club him in the chest.

Nah. Do we want to keep one of them alive? Nah, I've already got one alive. You've got one alive back at the camp. Well, two alive isn't going to... Magic missile. Magic missile again? Can I even speak to this?

Give me the old one, two, three with the magic missile. I am. One, two, and a three. Rock monster. The first magic missile, I am. One, two, and a three. I was like, why is he... Rock monster. The first magic missile, the first bolt that leaves your hand blows the half-length... Anyone here seen... I forget which Godfather it is where Sonny gets fucked up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sonny gets fucked up at the... The gate thingy. Yeah, the gate. The first arcane bolt blows his shoulder away. His arm falls to the ground. And you can see exposed lung and bone and shit. The second one blows his leg away.

He falls onto his one arm and one leg. And then as he looks up, the third one drills a hole straight through his head and out his spine. I'd like to look real stone-faced and then say, for me, stone. Thanks for ruining that. I'm so sorry. I was like, no, a sneeze. I was like, it was this beautiful, epic moment. Come back over.

Emotional and everything. And this fucking moron in the background is like, I got this nipple. Pull it in my beard. Pull it in my beard. I tried to hold it as long as I could. I was like. We have a cursory look at these dead drow to see if they got any information before we head on back.

I high five my rock monster before he jogs along. Okay. I'm like, well done, gang. Zilly, good work. Well done. You're good. I did. Okay. I'm like, well done, gang. Zilly, good work. Thank you. Well done. You're good. I did do good.

Good, like, pat on the back. I'd like to do that little bit where you're like, oh, fell forward a little bit, but I'm okay. But you're okay and you're like, hey. I like to think I didn't see that. It's like, just well done, pat, pat, and as I walk off. First time we've ever really worked as a team. Even though we've blinded ourselves still, we came out on top.

We got a couple of team issues. But at least we knew what was going on. You weren't paralysed this time. Plus, you knew. You're like, I'm blind. Okay, hunker down. Daniel wasn't there ruining everything for us. Jesus Christ.

Okay. Adam's worried. Never mind. You find 2,300 silver pieces on their corpses. Can you please put that in? How much was it? 2,300 silver pieces. Are we doing party fund again?

No, I picked them all up. Oh, damn, Zilly. Is that the case? So I guess we're having a party fund again. I have written it down. Don't fuck with me, guys. Fine. Good. Hooray. We'll sort it down. Don't fuck with me, guys. Fine. Good.

Ah, hooray. We'll sort it out when we get back to town. Slash I'll keep them all. Are you like secretly getting a fund to buy a ship out of here? To get to fucking Azamoril. We're going to get to Azamoril and it's going to be equally as sad. That's what's going to happen. We're going to get there and we're going to have island problems.

I mean, forest problems. Jungle problems? Jungle problems. happen we're gonna get there we're gonna have island problems i mean forest problems jungle problems jungle problems i just realized i was like why don't i have the list i've written from before in the the unicorn fight like i wrote in the back of my sheet you silly doofus uh on one of them you like from like the one you blasted apart silly you find like a very blood-stained emerald oh i'll take it um on another one you find a uh like a very a very like cloudy looking um uh azurite oh man i find a lot of gems on these fucking guys uh uh hand weight yeah and you take emeralds, Zilli? You taking everything, Zilli, it seems like? Hey, I heard this. You find an amethyst as well.

So with your careful dwarven eye, Cassius, you can tell that the azurite is worth maybe 10 gold to sell. The amethyst is worth 100 gold, and the emerald is worth maybe 1000 gold. I share this information. I should have written all this down. I'm like silly. As we stand there in the cave surrounded by the

corpses of the drow. Yes. That's enough to buy you a ticket out of here. A ticket anywhere. A ticket literally anywhere. When this is done, we are out of here. You also find several sets of manacles with arcane symbols written on them. Yeah, let's see. And a note.

In, does any, what languages does it, actually I haven't written down. I know all the languages. Nordic, common, German, elven. You know a handful of languages. I know. Where are my languages? I know elven and goblin. Common, dwarven, Nordic.

Oh, rad. I'm going to say no one here knows the language. What? God damn it. Do I have a spell that lets me read other languages? There's also a map attached to it. The map is super complicated to read, though. You realize immediately it's a map of the Underdark.

Oh, God, yeah. The Underdark maps are like 3D because tunnels can exist on top of each other, and you've never had to deal with a 3D map before. All right. It's like some sort of Escher fucking sketch. So you've written down how much those gems were worth. Oh, Ali.

No. Zilli has. Ali has not. 110,000. Wait, so you're just saying that your character wrote it down, but you didn't? That's what I'm hearing. Yeah.

I wrote... One person writes down equipment. Otherwise you didn't. That's what I'm hearing. Yeah. I wrote emerald. One person writes down equipment. Otherwise, item duplication glitches. I did it. And I wrote emerald, cloudy gem, amethyst. Good. I forgot what you said. So basically 10, 100, 1,000, I think it was?

Yep. 10, 100, 1,000. If I use owl's wisdom, owl's wisdom. If I use owl's wisdom, will that help me comprehend the map better? No. Okay. It's another language. You'd need a spell called maybe Comprehend Languages.

I thought I had that, but maybe I don't. I think that's a cleric spell. I don't think you get that. I can't believe that's actually a spell. I think it's a warlock one from memory. Comprehend Languages gives you written, and then Tongues gives you verbal. I'm going to grab the manacles and the note and the map. And let's say if we chuff on back to the prisoner.

Yeah, he'll be able to help us out. Wow. No, you don't think he's going to help us out? Oh, you also find, sorry, I should have said this. You find, how many were there, six? You find six hand crossbows, the bolts to match. We'll take more. And six short swords.

Oh, six short swords and six sets of drowcraft leather armor. If you want to write those down. In sunlight, though, you can just, looking at them, you can just tell that they're drowcraft. Can any of us even wear them? Leather armor you can wear, but you know if you expose it from the last one, if you expose it to sunlight, it'll just disappear. It's kind of worthless to you, to be honest. Once we go to the underdark maybe you can use it but at this point fucking leave it

maybe you like stash it somewhere in case you need to come back later if we go back to the drow that we have tied up or trapped we could maybe get him to decipher the note for us assuming he speaks common we don't assuming he's still alive assuming Bertram hasn't

given him the old sneaky stab in the neck killed bertram as well probably has let's go check it out let's go back you head back to town um oh you go back first off i guess it's on the way anyway to that rock outcrop area no one's there you go back to town uh there's like as you're approaching town, you can see a big smoke column. A lot bigger than the bonfire usually makes. And you can hear a lot of shouting. You get in. They're having a raucous party. The bonfire has been made super large.

And they look like they're burning the drow on the fire. It's clearly dead. It's dead. You get a closer look. Oh, no. Please don't let it be alive. That's almost worse. No, I want it to be alive.

Okay. You get a closer look and you're like, oh, thank God. It's an effigy. Oh. Oh. Okay. My heart. Can I see Bertram in there?

Because I was ready. Because I don't want to have to be like, I'm going to have to rescue a drow. You know what I was saying? You can't see Bertram. I'm going to have to put it out there with my water spell. I would've just shot him in the head. No, we need him to... You can't see Bertram, but you can see

some of the other guards. They're all getting pretty raucously far. I'm gonna head up to one. You know where they're keeping the filthy fucking drow scum we got? He points to just one of the four buildings that are still around. You going there? There's like sort of a small-ish crowd that have been, like, surrounding this building.

Unlike the other sort of revelers, these people are not celebrating or cheering. All of them look pretty somber and have, like, very stern, serious expressions. You part your way to get through them. You get into the building, and as you're getting in, you can hear, like, just wet. Oh, no. Oh, them. You get into the building, and as you're getting in, you can hear, like, just wet. Oh, no. Oh, no. You get in. They have the drow tied to a chair, and they're just,

Bertram specifically is just laying into it. I'd like to stop him, please. Grab him. Chum person. Whoa. You come in, and Bertram just stops. Okay. The drow's face is like a broken, bloodied mess.

I'd like to ask him what the fuck he's doing. One of his cheeks is nearly concave. Good. His eye is big and one of his eyes is super big and puffy. And the other one looks like it's completely dislodged. His nose is just nearly flat and broken. And he has three teeth left, maybe. I tell Bertram the others...

What the fuck are you doing? Bertram's hands are like super fucking bruised and bloodied. Ah, never mind. I'll continue. Unless you're angry, Zillian. Whatever, if you want to be. Bertram, those other drow are dead. Good. You're good.

This one doesn't speak any language I understand. We can talk to him, though. Maybe. Like, the note. It's like, I'm looking. Bertram, can you read this? Bertram checks his head. He speaks Nordic, and he doesn't read or write anything.

Give me a moment with this piece of shit. I point to the drow. Yeah, you helped. You basically captured him. I'll give you a moment alone. He closes the door. He's like, oh, you don't have to leave. I just need to. moment alone He closes the door Bertram stands by the door and closes it He just leans up against the door

I speak Elvish to the drow, can you understand Elvish? The elf tries to look at you with seriously unfocused eyes and just slowly nods his head His cheeks his jaw looks like it might be dislocated good you're not sure if he's gonna be able to talk cassius heal him all right

i'll go up and i'll uh use the wand use the wand waste of charge yep uh and the drow like his face completely well not completely actually um reset his face, sort of resets. Like, maybe he can talk now. His tongue looks super swollen still, though. Again? You know, he looks like he... You want to try again? No. Can you speak?

The drow, like, clears his throat, spits, like, a massive loogie of blood. Gross. And says in Elven, yeah. Good. All right. This is only temporary you cave dwelling fuck boy this is gonna go so dark so quick I wanna give you like a quizzical look like

I don't speak Elvish just I'd like to be like super obvious he just asked if he could understand and then the other guy said yes and spat it was really gross you're probably translating for Bertram at the door as well okay does that mean um You're probably translating for Bertram at the door as well. Okay.

Oh, fuck. Does that mean? Okay. How many of us have you killed? I like that this has to be a roll. That's exciting. To remember, I guess. None.

He says, this is my first raid. That's a lie. How many of us have you killed? I just told you. Warhammer, that cold thing, if I place it on his face and activate

the cold, what happens? Good question. It should do damage. Bad stuff will happen. You won't do the damage of the actual weapon, but you'll just do damage, yeah. Bad stuff. Bad stuff will happen, Zamin. It'll hurt him. You won't do the damage of the actual weapon, but you'll just do the cold damage. All right, so I kind of put the warhammer on his face. On his face?

Activate the... What are you doing? Burr, it's cold in here. No, what are you... No, stop it. What are you doing? He screams. No.

I guess you don't... Yeah, it's not... It's cold, so it's not, like, sizzling flesh, but, like, you don't smell burning flesh. But frostbite? When you take it away, his like, any flesh that you exposed it to is just like frosted over. Yeah, like frostbite, just like frosted over. Like kind of pink, like it's cold burn, basically.

Yeah, like a cold burn. I'm going to turn to Zilly and kind of be like, Zilly, maybe you should. Zilly, leave. Yeah. You disgust me. And then I like a walk out the door and a huff. Thank you. Bertram opens the door for you and then closes it.

A lie? That's the last nice thing I've seen all day. I like that I have no idea that he's been lying to us. It'll be the last nice thing you see for a while. I'm just kind of like standing there like protection a little awkwardly. I tell you that he's lying. Okay. How many of us have you killed?

Told you. He says none. Do I have a wild shape left? I can't remember. I think I've used it. Yeah, you've used it. That's a shame. It would be a perfect time to become an ape.

What's your name, soldier? Am I free to go? What's your name, soldier? I don't know. What's your name, soldier? Am I free to go? What's your name, soldier? I don't know. What's your name? Tell him my name. Edric Gveldeson. That's a pretty shit name, isn't it?

Rude. Oh, I'm not there. What's your name, soldier? He doesn't respond. Really, other than that. You do know you're not getting out of this alive. I got to see the town on the way in. I don't think you're getting out of this alive either.

Oh, my God. I'm not there, but I'm so scared. I can make this quick for you, or we can draw this out. I can make this quick for you, or I can give you to the townsfolk. He leans back and in the torchlight of this room you can see the sheen off all the blood on his face and

on his clothes and stuff like that and you can see the sheen off the burn mark you made on him. He leans back and sort of exposes himself a little bit and he says, well, let's get started then. He's got dark so, so quickly. Hey, the drow, mate.

Where's my disease spell? They prefer drow rather than dark. I'm out of the room, so it's fine. I'm sure I have a disease spell. I want to give him a disease. Contagion, it's called. Contagion? You might not have it.

I'm not sure what level it is. Infect subject with chosen disease. Adam, what's a very apparel disease? I'm relaying this information back to Cassius of what's this. At the same time, did you burn down the orphanage? Let's find out what diseases I can give

him real quick. Cancer. It's not bad now, but in like four years five years you are gonna be like where did this cancer come from I don't know

you can give him blinding sickness cackle fever filth fever mind fire red ache shakes or slimy doom

what's slimy doom slimy doom let me have a look at them or slimy doom slimy doom all these sound great I'm gonna give him the Mindfire That sounds like a fuck his day

Although maybe Fuck him up too From memory I'm pretty sure Mindfire Will make him useless To you in an interrogation Slimey Doom Slimey Doom

Slimey Doom Taste the Slimey Doom Oh it's so gloomy Ew it's grody Fine I'll tell you everything This is gross I hate it, I gloomy. Ew, it's grody. Fine, I'll tell you everything. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. This is slightly uncomfortable. I'll tell you everything.

Slightly uncomfortable doom. So blinding sickness. Makes him blind, I assume. Yeah, it makes him blind. It also, oh, hang on. It doesn't make him blind. Blinding sickness doesn't make him blind. I don't know what the hell that means.

Okay, so he takes strength damage, and if he... Yeah, he takes strength damage, and he needs to make another save, otherwise he becomes permanently blinded. Cackle fever lowers wisdom. No, I don't want that. What other ones have you got?

Filth fever lowers dexterity and constitution. Okay. What's filth fever? Filth fever is spread by rats. Oh, just going back to cackle fever. Sorry. Symptoms include high fever, disorientation, and frequent bouts of hideous laughter, also known as the shrieks. I'm liking the blinding one at the moment.

Yeah, it's spread by rats. It's basically just the plague, to be honest. All right. Mind fire. I feel like maybe not mind fire. Feels like your brain is burning, causes stupor,

so it basically like, you know, knocks him out, yeah. Yeah, makes him comatose a little. Red ache. Skin turns red, bloated and warm to the touch. Hey, all right. The shakes. Causes involuntaryated, and warm to the touch. Hey, alright.

The shakes causes involuntary twitches, tremors, and fits. And slimy doom. Victim turns into infectious goo from the inside out. Can cause permanent ability damage. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Hang on, how many spells do I have? I got two third level spells. No, I'm doing it. Oh, wait, infectious? Is it only infectious if the goo gets on us, Adam? Yeah. But it's slow, right? Yeah, it's a slow thing.

All right. I'd like to walk up to him, Adam. Just letting you know as well, you can do this to him, but depending on the disease, it'll take days for it to work on him. Oh, okay, so the goo one will take days? It's not a straight-off thing.

You infect him with it. The way diseases work is you infect someone with the disease, and then they have an incubation period, and at the end of the incubation period, then it hits them. Incubation periods at a minimum are like a day. All of the diseases work like this? Only some. Some

are only like a day. Like slimy doom, for example, which I know you were considering, only takes a day. Because I have cure disease. I was thinking how good to go up to him, grab him by the neck, infect him, be like, you've been infected with the slimy doom. Over the next day your organs are going to putrefy.

Tell us your name and I can stop it. To be honest, though, you're not sure if this drow is going to last days. Yeah, probably a day isn't worth it. The people here, like, you remember the faces of the people you saw on your way in. You don't know if the drow is going to last days for this. Okay. I'm glad we went through all of that and then I'm like yeah bad idea ultimately not worth it

I'm just trying to see if I can blind him there is a spell called blindness but I think it's a cleric but if I could just channel you Cassius kick him in the dick yeah alright but I'm going to wait for you to ask him if he burnt down the orphanage if he did I'm kicking him in the dick

so first are you a soldier or a commander But I'm going to wait for you to ask him if he burnt down the orphanage. If he did, I'm kicking him in the dick. So first, hang on. Are you a soldier or a commander? He's like a fairy, actually. Pixie. A drow. Who is this drow? Does he get to tell us before Cassius kicks him in the dick? Find out next time on Husk Firm of Pride, a D&D content,

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