D&D is For Nerds - Hus Firma Pride #2 Getting Out of Town

Episode Date: October 1, 2016

Hus Firma PrideIn which our heroes reacquaint themselves with their history. We meet our stepmother, try to talk Daniel down with little luck and have trouble getting rations. Cassius isn’t just going to leave a friend behind again, Zillie tries to prove that she is ready and Edrik was at war. So join us as we talk roses. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SansPence Radio 100% Prime Reeb. Welcome to episode 2 of Hus Firma Pride, the D&Ds for nerds adventure. Previously. We're going to focus on Cassius. That's right. You were raised by one-eyed Mistra to find this Daniel character. I figure he's probably around here. I'm just backtracing my steps. My name is Zilli Heskavad.

My name is Edric Gvaldason. I shall name him Wesley. Wesley the Weasel? I would like, when I ask him to do things, to respond with, as you wish. Your people just recently finished a war with the elves south of you. You guys grew up with Daniel. What? He was one of the kids at the orphanage.

They jumped us and I had to kill them in self-defense. Yeah, he's around. That's how I'm justifying it to myself. Remember Karl Hoff, the blacksmith? Yeah, I remember the blacksmith. He's been captured and with a couple other... Not Karl Hoff! Edric, you're following Daniel on his way back into town,

unsure of his current plans. All right. What do you want to do? So, Daniel, what I was thinking is that if we maybe try and get a little warring party to maybe do a... To track Carl down? Yeah, of course. Yeah, and rescue, yeah.

So, where you going, buddy? I'm going back to the forge. I'm going to pick up supplies and then I'm going to get going. Do you want to think maybe just to wait for a sec so we can kind of get some reinforcements, buddy? Uh, I guess. Like, is that your weapon you've got?

Yeah, he has the chain. I can use it all right in a fight. Can I inspect it? Yeah, sure. Do I know much about this kind of stuff? You don't know much about much. I don't know much about fighting. Um, you like hefted.

The weight is odd. Oh, hang on. Let me roll something. Uh, it's not the type of weapon you would use. The weight is odd. Hang on, let me roll something. It's not the type of weapon you would use. The weight is odd to it. So you imagine, like, if it were used as a weapon, it would need, like, special training. But the spikes and the big heavy ball on the end of it look like if a guy got hit with that, it'd fuck him up. You've used this a lot, Daniel?

No, I've never used it. I've trained with it. Yeah? You good at it? You good? Well, yes. You want to see? I'd love to, please.

Okay, well, we need to get back to the forge. This is where I got the test dummies. I have a quick glance behind me. Can I see these bugalugs? They had a bit of a talk. Yeah, we had a chat. You probably don't see them. I detailed our adventures awkwardly.

All right, let's go to the forge and do that. Okay. Oh, by the way, you have a magical weapon as well. Probably made by Carl, actually, to be honest. Good job. Great sword. I have a... Sorry, it's not a sword.

It's a... Warhammer. Warhammer. Ooh. Warhammer. So it's a plus one item. That means it gets a plus one bonus to attack and to damage. And it also...

It's also of cold. So when you hit someone with it, it deals cold damage to them. An extra D6 of cold damage. I imagine myself, or at least Edric, as this sort of almost Conan Barbarian-like just muscle of a man with like great big dirty dreads just all tied up. It's kind of grey and white. But kind of super good. Yeah. So whenever you hold the weapon, like this magical, your warhammer, whenever you hold it in your hands, you basically, you say a word and then it gets imbued with that cold energy.

Oh, cool. you hold it in your hands, you basically, you say a word, and then it gets imbued with that cold energy. Oh, cool. The cold energy doesn't hurt you, but you sort of like, the weapon becomes like chilled iron in your hands, so you can feel that the magic is there, but you can't like, you don't get hurt by it, basically. The cold is in the head of the war animal. Yes.

It's a bit in the shaft, but mostly in the head. So the head is what you want to work. Does a hammer have a head? Yeah. Does a hammer hammer a head? Yeah. Does a hammer have a head? Oh, my God. It's a big, it's a, what? Hey, I'm pleased myself. Go on.

I don't even. Okay. Let's go to the forge, Daniel. Yeah, you go back to the forge. Out the back of the blacksmithy, there's like a bunch of straw targets set up. Yeah, just let's see. A bunch of them have like this charred look to them. And from like puncture holes in the straw, it looks like the chain wrapped around them.

That's cool. Daniel like swings up. The way he moves with the chain, it looks like he has practiced a lot. Well, he hits, but it's a straw target, so it's not very impressive. What's your defensive maneuvers like, Daniel? I just don't want to get you killed. You don't want another body on your concha. I don't want another blacksmith death on my hands.

As the chain strikes, Daniel says, in Nordic, in your home language, he says the word for electricity and sparks crackle along the chain. That's rad. That's super cool. Yeah, well, you're definitely sure what made the char marks on the other straw. I was thinking it might have been Zilli, but no, it's that. Yeah, I thought it was me too. Theyilly, but no, it's that good. Yeah, I thought it was me too.

They don't let Zilly into town, guys. I hate this place so much. He nearly breaks it in two. If you don't take me away, I'm your thing. I'm just like, you're my only hope. Very impressive, Daniel, but let's just maybe speak to the town guard. Herja. Herja filled her in.

A big, strong Nordic woman. Awesome. A woman I love. Let's speak to her first and maybe let's see what we can do to get a rating party. Because if you go by yourself, I think this is, let's not leap. Fine. Fine. Let's go. Yeah.

Let's go to Herja. He like opens a backpack. He goes back into the smithy where he was living uh he opens a backpack and just starts throwing like random supplies in let's again time out daniel let's you go talk to her job packing a bag you obviously have your one yeah yeah it's on my but sir just think before you we don't we don't need a kettle but but I'll be back. Sick, mate. Bring one along. He is throwing random stuff in. Candelabra.

He's like throwing some tongs for the forge. They might come in handy, I guess. I can't wait for someone to be delivering a baby, and it's like, it's stuck. What do we use? Forge tongs! Well done, Daniel. That's how you crush a baby's skull.

You've done it again. You killed that poor elf child. Nah, dwarf child. They're stupid. They're tough. They've got tough little skulls. Or a dragon. No, they're in eggs.

But I guess they're going to be birthed somehow. Yeah. They're going to pop down. I'll be back! Edric, you're going to go see Herja? Yep. From what you remember about her from, it was only three years ago. Yeah. She'll be in the tavern. Cool.

Drinking, probably. Awesome. House of Firm of Pride. House of Firm of Pride. I hate this podunk town as well. You get in. She's, you notice her immediately, like very strong blonde hair, all of it in braids. Love you.

Yes. You become like, you're like this big Conan-esque guy, but in her presence you just become jelly. She turns around as you come closer. She says in a very cordial, pleasant sort of voice, Edric. Herger. Hi. Hey.

Perhaps you're on the back. Love. Good to be back home. Quick problem, though. We were raided and Karl Hoff has been kidnapped along with a bunch of other people we haven't got names for yet the tavern goes silent

Karl was pretty well liked around the town the tavern goes silent and everyone listens to your tale as you tell it pumpernickel crossroad pumpernickel crossing okay so you finish the tale and then Herger, who has been listening very patiently the entire time,

nods and says, Daniel's packing candelabras. Are you going to go with him? Of course. We still have problems around here. There's a wolf pack that have taken up residence, a big wolf pack, we believe led by a winter wolf. Let me see.

Oh, you know what? You live around here. Winter wolves are like regular wolves, but bigger, intelligent, and they can breathe, like, frost. Oh, God. Oh, that's so cool. Let's get one. They often, like, do this sort of thing where they find a pack of regular wolves and then dominate them and control them.

And it's like a serious hassle that comes around every now and then. Any forces I have must deal with this. Plus, elves still raid every now and then or raid the surrounding area. I cannot spare the men for this. If you want to go to help, you can go, but I cannot spare anyone. I am sorry. Okay. Yes, it's me and Daniel, so no one else can come with us.

You might want to ask Zilly. Zilly is friends with him. Yes, I have some friends. Guys, come on. Zilly's good. I ran into her. People see. People are much more excited know Cassius is back in town I ran into her people see yes good

alright people are much more excited about Cassius apparently I've been gone 10 years well they know now they're just

catching up they gave him a warm welcome when he came in yeah she's a good dwarf I am a good dwarf okay Zoe pat you on the head good dwarf do am a good dwarf Zoe pats you on the head

Good dwarf Do you know much about elves and kidnapping And hostages You've fought them more than I would I know but I've never Do I know much about elves and hostages This particular elf You know a little bit about him

You know a couple of his number two guys uh one of them is actually probably nearby that you know that um because he's like a he was an elven cleric and there was like this particular grave site that he gravitated towards that's how you you raided this grave site um they might have taken him there because it is a pretty close base of operations for them. Okay, so look, I think there's a base of operation not that far away that he might have gone to. So we're going to go there. If we're not back in... How long is it?

It's like a three-day trip to get there. It's a three-day trek. If we're not back within a week and a half, can you send a couple of guys down? If I have men to spare, yes. Thank you. Soldiers to spare. Thank you. Like, as I leave Zilly's place, I'm like, are you coming?

Like, I'm not just leaving you again. I'm not just double abandoning you. I'll open the door to the cold and be like, are we in the town? I like the idea of you turning around and I'm fully packed. Like, fully packed. I've got a backpack on. I've got my cloak. I'm set.

Wesley's sitting on my fucking shoulder. Wrap around your neck like a scarf. With a scarf. We might be in Hosfirma for, like, another week before we choose. Maybe. It could be months. That would suck. I know, but... Did me and daniel what i make gestures with my hands

the ones he's making in the studio are very crude listeners did we fuck is what i'm like fingers is that jackson jesus christ five so i'm like did we i i don't know um daniel's never brought it up with me at all we he's like a brother i don't want to know that stuff about him i ask him about girls he's been seeing but he's pretty roses i don't do i know anything um hang on roses might mean something to you no no it doesn't mean absolutely nothing to me do roses even grow in hospital i don't think they do you would love to see what's a rose up until when you left roses are not like a thing you would have even encountered oh you're gonna be like oh this is magical this is magical everything's mad i like step outside and be like what the fuck is going on? And walk into town.

I'm having a time. Okay, so you're heading into town. Yes, before you leave, Edric, Herger says to you, before you do this, you might want to talk to Mistra. Don't know what accent that was. Will do. General Nordic. General Nordic. Don't know what accent that was. We'll do... General Nordic. General Nordic.

Yes, I will do that. I just got to make sure that Daniel doesn't get himself killed. You talk to Mystra. I'll talk to Daniel. Good idea! How scary is it? Oh, no. I'm going to go off to Mystra. This is why we need NPCs to keep us in line.

And now we've got an erratic one and we don't know what to do. Like, put him on the harness. I know. Aren't the NPCs supposed to tell us where to go? All right, guys. I got this. We're fucked. No, if you, like, look historically at it,

the fighter in the party is the one who keeps you on track. That's true. Good luck. All right. I got this. Wrangle you motherfuckers. Mistra has gotten those three students that tried to leave back into her study area. And she's like instructing them on how to strip a plant or something like that.

Like knock on the door and just be like. It's open. Walk in. Ruffle one of the kids' hair. Hair's up. I'm just like, hang on a sec. Ah. Walk in. Ruffle one of the kids' head. Hair's up. I'm just like, hang on a sec. They get super excited, like we're about to get out again. I just need to talk to Misstra for like a couple moments here.

You guys go have fun. All right, Misstra. Hey, so. You explain the situation to her as well. She gets like a very grave expression. Like just when you were telling her about Carl, similar sort of expression, she nods and says,

I thought he might do something like this. Yeah. Carl or Daniel? Daniel. Keep up with the story. I'm sorry. Carl might just get himself kidnapped. Oh, that Carl always getting himself kidnapped.

I remember back when he was a kid. Getting in all those hostage situations. No. No, guys. Anyway. What I was thinking of doing was I might grab Cassius and Zilli and

we maybe try and protect Daniel while at the same time getting back our raiding party. That'd be lovely if all things work out. Lister nods. She goes over to the table. There was something on the table, but she bundles whatever it is up in a little

cloth. She has a cloth thing and she bundles it up making a bag. Do you understand what I'm saying? A hobo bag. Like a bindle. Yes! Minus stick. She hands that to you. What's the point?

It's very small, like it fits in the palm of your hand. She closes over both of your hands on it and holds it tightly and says, Do not open until one of your body is in grave danger. Open it now. Got it. Got it. What's inside? Open it now, Sam.

I'm not an idiot. This character is an idiot. What's our intelligence, actually? How stupid am I? Intelligence 14. That's not bad. 15. But my wisdom is 8.

10 wisdom. 16. Cassius, wise! We're not wise, but we're intelligent. I'm intelligent. I don't know why I gave you a high intelligence, but a low wisdom, Edric. Yeah, why did you? It's done.

I don't know what these things mean, but good. This is the grave we've dug. Exactly. All right. Thank you. I won't. I go in to give her embrace, give her a big old kiss, and be like, we'll be back in hopefully a week.

She nods. Wrinkly old forehead. She's still got like that sort of grave expression. And before you leave as well, she like grabs your hand one more time. She pulls you in and says, Cassius left one time before. Don't let him leave forever. Let's never come back. I intend to never come back to this place.

Don't worry. We'll always come back. Does she want me never come back to this place Don't worry, we'll always come back Does she want me to come back? You were talking so you didn't hear it But she said, and the same for Zilly Oh, okay, good And that goes double for Zilly, I think is the exact word Which doesn't really make sense

Because you haven't left But she's worried you might, you always talk about it It's true She's a little torn because you do kind of belong somewhere else. Aw. Where do I belong, Adam? We'll kidnap an elf. You should find the Isle of Natura.

Yeah. I've heard a lot about these foggy feathers. Maybe I'll join them. Yeah. The royal family. Not the outcast chick who got married. You made that an official surname. I ruined your world, Adam.

A little bit every time, yeah. So, we're back. I'm chuffed off. Okay. So, Cassius and Zilli, where do you... We'll head to the forge. Okay, yeah. That's, I assume.

That's probably where we'd head when we came back, because I want to see where everyone went. You come there to find Herger talking talking with uh daniel you remember herger she like wasn't in the orphanage but she was like a prominent figure in town growing up nice to me uh nice enough she's like got some of those prejudices of the town but being like the captain of the guard here means that she needs to take an objective stance on things cool Cool. I don't embrace it or anything. I give her a curt nod. Yeah, she does the same.

She seems to be talking Daniel out of something rash. You're not sure exactly what. Without much luck. Daniel at this point is like, his bag is like 90% superfluous material, 10% stuff he might actually need, and now he's just trying to find other stuff that he might actually need. I'd like to go up to Daniel and just be like, this is it, Daniel. This is it.

We're going to go and save Carl and this is going to be our adventure. We're going to do it. And I'm here for you the whole way. Carl doesn't seem like very, not Carl, sorry, Daniel doesn't seem very, like, you seem pretty happy about this. Actually, you know what? Daniel picks you up on that. What are you happy about? We're gonna save you,

Daniel. We're gonna save you, Daniel. You're gonna save your car. I just appreciate if you were a little less happy and grateful about this. Well, maybe you don't need a bloody pot plant. Alright, alright, everyone. How about we calm down? I've been reading about this. You do not need a pot plant. Zilly, Zilly. Unless I learn Entanglement. I don't think I ever

used Entanglement. You did. You did once. You did once yeah we killed a wolf all right good no it wasn't a wolf it was a well lizard that's right you used it on the well lizard good job guys fucking crocodile it was a crocodile get caught up in that. Anyway, I'll get between them and be like, alright, alright, everybody calm down. Zilly, have a time out. I'm gonna make a cup of tea. Where? We're in the center of town.

He packed the kettle. He packed the kettle, we're fine. You can't do shit. He doesn't have a kettle. So you're just heading out. I'd say you get here as well. You're just heading out, I take it, to find Frank Hoff. Guys, just everybody.

Daniel, Zilly, hey, everyone. Uncle G here. So anyway, we're going to go and try and save Carl. Daniel, did you want to just maybe stay here and we'll be back? No, I'm coming with. He's my dad. He's tough. He's a big man. We don't understand, Edric.

We never got adopted. You haven't been into the war, Daniel. I don't know if you're ready for it. Well, that side is not. I mean, don't get me wrong. Haas Firm is shit. This is a

podunk fucking town. Huss Firm of pride. Huss Firm of pride. But, the outside world's... I like that that would be a phrase in Nordic or something. Just translate star. That's great. It's just like a, home's good, but translates to Huss Firm of pride.

But Daniel, you've, you know, what kind of combat have you seen? That's the question. It's not about what combat I've seen. It's about my convictions and my convictions are strong. War doesn't care about convictions. Let's just go. Like we're wasting time. We're not fighting a war.

We're fighting some fucking owls. Yeah. And they've fought a war. I'd like to turn a full 180 and then be on Daniel's side and be like, guys we gotta go carl's probably in trouble where no cassie let's go take him on daniel like stands face to face with you um uh edrick did i say yeah i'm saying your name right edrick um he's taller than you but you're bigger than him uh but he's like it's sort of like you're facing off like this, intimidating each other, and it's kind of even. Yeah, it's pretty like neither one of you want to back down, but neither one of you, well, yeah,

neither one of you want to back down. You can't do it alone. You have to take us, Edric. You have to take us. Wait, hang on. Cassius, yes, Zilli, you are not prepared. I am ready. I'm going to give you like the chop at the neck.

Like, look, no, Zilly's confident. She's green as well. I'm going to make up for lost time. Adam, while they're fighting, I would like to send Wesley to do chill touch. Is that what it's called? Yeah, chill touch. That's going to hurt. Like, it causes damage.

Yes. Okay. I'd like to put that on Ed joke to prove a point that I am Ready. Okay, so you cast it on to you cast on the Wesley Get like well, she obviously costs a spell you guys notice that Still I'm proving a point. I'm ready for this mmm yeah yeah they don't notice you cast a spell yes who um Edric to prove that I'm ready. And then when he gets cold, I'm going to be like, I'm ready. Let's go.

We're fine. I'm a weasel. Ah! Oh, look, Wesley. Hang on. Now you're going to freeze to death. I like that. Whereas the first meeting of our first party was super friendly.

We all met and we were like, we're mates forever. This meeting is a fight. The first time we're all together as a team is a fight. I hope that's a portent of things to come. I'm trying to be like, guys, you are unprepared for this. I made a commitment and I realised

I'm not sure if Adam gave me the spell to fix it. So, this could be an issue. Imagine if you just killed Zamet right off the bat. Zamet's got full hit points, it's fine. Crits. Yeah, like...

Damage to the leg. What? What's happening? Okay. So, Edric, you take three points of cold damage. Yes. Dropping you down to 62. And then your strength goes down by one.

Forever? Just temporarily. It'll take a day to pass, but your muscles freeze and seize up and you feel weaker. What the fuck? Do I see the weasel? Yeah, it's obvious. I punched the weasel. You punched my weasel? Instinct, I will punch that weasel.

Or I gotta kick it, as instinct does. Is Daniel just like watching because I'd like to sidle up to Daniel and Daniel like doesn't know

what the fuck's going on I'll slide up to Daniel and just roll my sleeve up Daniel I'll try and sort that out now well we got well we got time Daniel

oh uh this and roses what's going on here? I mean, anything to you? I wouldn't have a clue. Nah, you miss. You, like, try to quit a kick, but he dodges.

He's a sneaky little boy. Cool. He misses. I draw my war hammer. Are you going to squash a weasel? I'm ready. Point it at fucking Zilly and be like, this is why you don't fucking come.

You try that shit again. Don't you try and pull rank. We've been doing this for years. You left. I got stuck behind. I left for a war, Zilly. I wanted to go, but they wouldn't let me. I could have helped, and this wouldn't have happened

if it was just you, which it was. Things went wrong. Take me with you. Wesley and I can help. Herja steps in between you all. Herja, slightly taller than everyone in this room. Slightly larger than everyone in this room. I love this woman.

Puts her hand between Zilli and Daniel and fucking Edric. And she says in sort of like a bit of a gruff voice to Edric, take them. We need the help. She's right. She never likes me need the help. She's right. She never likes me. She's your responsibility. Sure, I'll accept that.

But they are strong. I'd like to be very giddy and then ask Cassius very quietly, remember how you were telling me about how you had that spell cure light wounds? Can you please go and fix that? I'll sort it out. That's like the help with the strength damage. It'll come back.

It's fine. That was a fucking stupid thing you did, Zilly, just letting you know, but I'll sort it out, all right? Enough of that. We're fine. No, we're not. No, you've been gone for 10 years. I'm going to go over and I'm going to cure Light Wounds on his damage.

Zilly, you're irrational. Didn't roll that properly. You recover all of your hit points, but the strength damage will remain. He just took up for this whole adventure, getting back, you know, fucking Karl Hoff. Sam, it's a strength score lower because of you. He'll get it back. It's fine.

He's going to die, hopefully. Like a permanent one. Magnificent. Okay, yes, you've seen, Zilda, you seem rather packed for this. I'm ready. Okay. You've probably had like a backpack packed for a while.

For the last three, four years. Oh, that's so sad. It's like a backpack in the corner, but occasionally you still sweep the cobwebs away. Cassius is coming in anymore. Every few years you've got to take out the clothes and put new ones in because they've grown a bit. You know, that kind of stuff.

Every couple of months you have to change out the rations. Oh, God. That's so depressing. I've been living off rations. No wonder I left this goddamn town. Daniel, can I look at his backpack and what he's packed? You want to go through his backpack? I'm just gonna, just, just.

Well, he's not letting you take everything out. Eventually you settle on, he's definitely taking the. Let's just help him. Help him, please. He's definitely taking the chain. He has also a composite longbow. So a composite longbow means that if you have a higher strength score it does more damage so basically it's got a tighter pull to the to the string um uh and then basic stuff a bedroll a crowbar flint and steel a

hammer rations for four days silk rope sledge uh someches, water skin And a wet stone Grab some more rashes Herger can you please get us some rashes And while we sort out here Utilize is end of winter right Yeah Rations all time low I've been gone ten years and I knew that

I've been at war You live a little off the land surely you have not forgotten she says with like a little bit of a laugh and slugs you in the shoulder it hurts it's a good hurt though why does that hurt

look at Zilli I just smile like smugly and be like you have to take me with you now you're like the kid that won the fight like the parents came down and you're like the kid that won the fight. Yeah. The parents came down and you're like, you got in trouble. Yeah. Okay, fine.

Let's go. You know what? Daniel has a little bit of that going on. Yeah, yeah. We're both super stoked that finally we're going to get, well, I'm finally going to get out of town. Daniel, stay near me. Don't get out of my sight And try not to get yourself killed This goes for you as well, Zilli

I can look after myself Let's just go How about we just I'd like to look away And then trip over How about off we fuck, lads Off we fuck But don't get yourself killed

Yeah, I'd like to turn away And be like, I'll be fine And then trip over something If you want, I guess Or accidentally drop something And be like, I'll be fine, and then trip over something. If you want, I guess. Or accidentally drop something and be like, whoop, pick that up. Let's go. If you want. It's like I arrive back in town and I'm like,

it'll be super nice to see everyone again. You know, like I've missed them so much. And it gets to this point and I'm like, I remember why I left. This is why I don't come back. Let's go. Come on, Cassius. Let's get out of here. Fucking down.

Okay, so can I get... Be wary of wolves. Speaking of which, can I get a hide or lose? Not Jackson, because Jackson's already done one. Lose. Zilly. Lose? Zilly?

The responsibility. Very uneventful. Actually, I'm not going to make you roll survival checks. You encounter a deer on the way and you just kill it. You're going to use that for food. I'm going to punch it to death. We'll say someone with a bow and arrow gets it. You just punch everything now.

Is that your now? You just punch everything now. Was that your... Now? I thought you were a druid. I've been gone a long time. You forget a lot about childhood, clearly. I know. We scrapped a lot.

I thought you... Turns out if you want to be a druid, you can't just start punching seals. Yeah, we know. Yeah. But you just kept on so it did not change the burial site isn't exactly a landmark that the nordic people use but it's pretty noticeable like when you're just traveling so you find it without too much trouble it's like a um like a mound a high a raised sort of hill almost but but it's too perfect to be natural.

And you know that in the dead centre, covered underneath snow, is some sort of latch to get in. What lies beyond the entryway to the tomb? Find out next time on Husfirma Pride, a D&D is for Nerds adventure. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sandspantsradio.com. Hey there, fellow adventurer.

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