D&D is For Nerds - Hus Firma Pride #24 Underground

Episode Date: January 24, 2017

Hus Firma PrideIn which our heroes interrupt something going on between the drow. We loot some magical items from the wolves den, hurt an adorable rust monster and try to get a drow to stand down. Cassius has heard of rust monsters but only in passing, Zillie has a club that she doesn’t use often enough and Edrik is a little mad at you but it’s alright. So join us as we imagine playing drag queens. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

San Spence Radio, be a Sergion, not a Sergioff. Hey, everyone. Just before we get into today's episode, I just want to pop in to announce the winners of our Let Me RTX competition. These lucky people will win a weekend double pass to the RTX in Sydney, and hopefully we'll see you there. All right. So we've got Sarah at Squiggy, Jodie at WeAreJodie,

and A PileOfTrash at Travis E. Jordan. Congratulations, guys. You're going to RTX Sydney. We'll message you on Twitter to get your details and sort out the tickets for you. And until then, enjoy the episode. Also, if you missed out on winning in today's competition, we've got some good news for you.

If you come to either of our Sydney shows, we're going to be giving away a few more passes at each show. So if you haven't already bought tickets, head to edgetix.com. That's T-I-X. And just a heads up, tickets are moving quickly now. Only down to like 20 per show. It's starting to get pretty hectic.

We hope to see you there. Of course, unless you're listening to this on Monday or following week, or we've already been to Sydney and the show's sold out, in which case... Oops. Welcome to episode 24 of Huss Firmapride, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Previously... There's touch AC, which is just how hard you are to touch.

Doesn't usually include things like armour. But if you're a ghost, I imagine it's high. Yeah, it's... Yeah, I'm sure, Jackson. No, actually. And in the three seasons we've done, I've never heard that out of noise before. What a odd thing to happen.

I've been, like, just spinning around killing wolves. Cassius, you do you. No, why waste an alligator? You're right. If the wolves kill Cassius as a bear, does she say as a bear, as a corpse? No, it reverts back. It does an insta-kill on every bad guy.

And we win the game. And then Adam calls us all handsome. He kisses us on the forehead and tucks us in and we get a nice sleep. He feeds us chocolate so we have chocolate drinks. You made a wolf zombie! Stop that! I'll heal us all up. It's a little disconcerting when a bear reaches out to heal you.

You spend the rest of the night in the cave healing the wounds you sustained in your fight with the wolves. The next day... You get killed in the night? No.

You get killed in the day? Among the caves you actually find what you assume to be the winter wolf den. Sick! Give it a hot loot. There's like

three wolves in there. Female wolves like laden heavy with cubs. Can we just go in there around them? They don't react to you. Well, they are obviously aware of you, but they don't do anything

about it. I'm wearing the window of that belt. What do they do to that head? I just told you, they are aware of you, but they don't do anything to you. So you're avoiding them or not going near them? Yeah. Yep, they allow that.

Cool. Let's give it a hot loot. At the back of this cave, there is treasure. Let's get some treasure. Yes. Treasure. You guys are my treasure. You are mine.

Aw. So nice to meet you. That's nice. What a love. We have a little bear hug in this night. Jackson, you are a national treasure in that I'm afraid you're going to be stolen. I am. Nicholas Cage is going to come.

He's going to lift up my shirt and be like, what's this tattoo on your back? And I'll be like, it was a birthmark. And he'll be like, it's Abraham Lincoln's secret diary about where he hid a magic train. And off we go. Nick Cage with Jackson under arm. I've been like, no, no, we've got to play D&D.

Ah, gee. God damn it, Nick Cage. Who's marking down party cards? He's taking another one. Yeah. 600 gold pieces. That's a fair bit. What does a winter wolf need with gold?

Come now. Nah, you don't know. Probably just an honour thing. Not an honour thing, a... Status. Pride. Yeah, status, pride, whatever. Kind of like a dragon.

Like, what's a dragon to spend gold on? Adam making noise. What does that even mean? It means you did well. Aw, man. You guys, you know, you rag on me. We do. I just flipped randomly to try to get to a place,

and it just landed randomly on cursed items, and I just went straight past it. Okay? So every time you fucking, like, Adam, you having a go at us, I went to the cursed items page and I didn't even think and you just went back you just defied fate

I didn't even think I looked at it and went good I looked at it and went yes I didn't even think and I'm still on the page right now you find a little bag when you open the bag it's got this purple dust in it

the purple dust has this nice sheen to it can we know what it is so i don't know if i've mentioned this before because you guys don't get magical items very often because i'm kind of stingy with them you are but i was you want me to go back to the cursed item i was agreeing with you because i wanted to think out you i'm using a uh a rule i made up where i'm allowing appraise checks to determine magical items like if you know what a magical item is

I'm going to call it somehow Edric knows this I know what this is it's dust of appearance it makes us look super good looking well I don't need that then. You're already there, silly.

You absolute babe. Do parents have two peas? Yes. All right. This fine powder appears to be a very fine... Very fine powder. We'll use fine once in a sentence, mate. This fine powder appears to be a very fine...

I'm talking to the book, by the way. We know. Very light metallic dust. A single handful of this substance flung into the air coats objects within 10 foot radius, making them visible even if they are invisible. So ghost powder. It likewise negates the effect of blur and displacement, which make people hard to see. The dust also reveals figments, mirror images And projected images for what they are

So it like reveals physical illusions So if we're going to like fucking up an illusion A creature coated with the dust Takes a negative 30 penalty On it's hide checks The dust effects last for 5 minutes Sick, alright It's good to have, I guess

Probably not going to help us much, but good to have What happens if we eat it? How many uses do you get out of it? It's like... I'm going to say you get five uses out of it. Alright. I think that's a fair amount. I like the idea of you trying to figure out what it is like a cop trying to figure out...

Like cocaine. Like a cop film in the 80s. Alligator's gone! We're going to go guys. I'm going to have one again. Oh, baby. Okay. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. If you figure out what this one is, I'm going to be the game. Oh, baby. Okay. Oh, no. Oh, my God. If you figure out what this one is, I'm going to be super happy. Yep. Edric. You know what it is? You know what I know? I know magical fucking items. That's another bag.

You open it up. Instead of purple powder, it's blue powder. Dust of Disappearance. That's ridiculous. What the fuck are these random rolls? We're having a weird day. I'm not even... No one's going to believe.

This is really just happening. This is just the world we live in. I guess we go invisible? I think it does the opposite, but I'm going to read the rules. That's great. Times five, I guess, as well. This dust looks just like dust of appearance. Sorry, they're the same color.

My mistake. And is typically stored in the same manner. A creature or object touched by it becomes invisible. Oh, there's greater invisibility. That means you're invisible even when you're attacking. Normal vision can't see dusted creatures or objects, nor can they be detected by magical means, including sea invisibility or invisibility purge spells.

Dust of appearance, however, does reveal people and objects made invisible by dust of disappearance. Other factors such as sound and smell also allow possible detection. Greater invisibility bestowed by the dust lasts for 2d6 rounds. The invisible creature doesn't

know when the duration will end. Another five uses I'll say. Can I take that one for surprise bear attacks? Yeah, I was thinking how great would it be if it lasted like 12 hours? That's what you get. Cool. Alright, yeah. I'll chuck it down. Surprise

leopard attacks. Disappearance times five. How good. Cool. Now, with that, now we'll consult the map and try and find the entrance to the underdog let's get this shit on the fucking road adam what are they so they're like the the the winter wolf den mothers are like whatever they they just don't want to bother you guys you stink of dead war they got cubs to protect. Aww.

Alright. We'll head on in. We should have made them owls. I was about to try to make you feel bad by taking their horde. They're not. What were they going to do with it? Charm Animal will have Jack Toogaloo and Coconuts too. They're pregnant. We don't want to make pregnant she-wolves

fight. Do we? They would fight ferociously. They would. Let's not do that. You make your way to the entrance, like the entrance cave. You're standing before it. It's by far the largest of any of these caves.

And standing in its moor intimidates you guys guys a little bit you know you're in for a fucking hassle going in here i'm ready to fuck these cunts up or die trying i'm so at that point in my life uh start the journey in let's go okay sue uh who's navigating cassius yeah i suppose i want to zap everything i see it'm going to say you've spent some time because you rolled really high I'm going to say you've spent some time studying this map and so while you've never navigated by a map like this

you're doing it alright You're pretty sure you're going in the right direction or you rolled really low and I'm just fucking with you Either way are you better as a tracker like as a wolf uh to navigate this or what do you want to do probably better as is i reckon as is that's my feeling anyway okay so you're traveling i just want to point out i've given you permission to turn to an animal and you're like no odd i just don't want to waste a

wolf that's all. That makes sense. After a day of travelling, you're pretty sure you're getting close to where this drow encampment is. And, oh, the torches. Who's got light? Oh. I do. I have the, I think I've got some cantrips that just are light, so I'll just use them. I got nothing.

I have light. A torch? A torch? Are you just lighting my gauntlets? Make them shine like torches? Do you still want to have your torch? Yeah. Oh, wait.

You can just drop it if the fight started. Oh, no, no. If he's sliding it the way, then she's sliding it the way, then there's no need to. It's funny, because you're the only one who can see in this. Yeah, that's true,

but I'll do it for my mates. Anyway. That little bear hug, you know. You come across... At first, you're a little startled,, at first you're like a little startled, like you think you're about to be attacked, but you realise quickly, you come to this small drow camp. It's before the proper one,

but you think it might be some sort of lookout camp. There are drow here, but they're dead. There's four of them. All four lay slain on the ground. They're like just at the edge of your vision, though. You can get closer if you want. You're in this massive tunnel. The tunnel is maybe 15 feet across,

and somewhere up ahead you can hear, like, dripping water. Let's be cautious about it and slowly walk towards the dead. Okay. You maybe draw weapons, and you, like, just steel yourselves ready for a battle. As you approach, you approach you're like scanning every like nook and cranny and this tunnel is not like this tunnel was not made by people so it's like you know all craggly and very poorly made so you're like watching all of those little

dark corners and nooks for anything uh you come into the camp proper there's maybe like some uh there's an overturned like little wagon type thing that they were using to keep their supplies in. And there's the four corpses scattered around it. Even from this distance you can quite easily tell all of their weapons are rusted away as if they've been here

for years. You can go get a closer inspection on them if you want. I think so. Okay. This is weird. Do we know what does rust monsters help? Rust monsters. You laugh, but they exist. Not here, but... You've probably heard of them.

None of you have knowledge of engineering those. Actually. Rust monsters. That's fair. What's a rust monster? Can I get... Rust you up. Fox your equipment. It's not a thing. Zilly, can I get a high or low

yeah none of you have ever like you've heard of them but none of you have ever encountered them so you know basically anything that the name rust monster implies okay so I'm guessing a monster made of rust or that causes rust and you're getting a closer look, Cassius?

Okay. I kind of draw a bow and arrow. You kneel down. The corpses haven't been here for as long as the swords imply. That much you know, but you can't determine cause of death. They're bleeding from wounds, but that's all you know. Or they bled from wounds. I'd like to sort of scan the area.

Can I look for tracks of something? In this dirt, it'd be super hard. I mean dirt. In this rock. Stone, yeah. Yeah, you can't find anything like tracks. It's a bit of a mystery, to be honest. Their armor is also similarly rusted away.

It's weird. Now that you're up close. Rust monsters that could be whatever that is, only in passing. I say that if we want to be clever about this, everybody should stay behind me. I don't have anything that can rust. All right.

Okay. I'll lead the way. I'll lead the way. Lay on, Macassius. Lay on, Macassius. Lay on, Macassius. What a line. What's, no, Dame Cassius? Dame.

Okay. Dame Cassius. Dame Cook. Cassius leading the way. Yeah, Cassius, up ahead you spot like a, it looks like it could be a boulder, except from the chitinous outside, you're pretty sure it's actually a creature. Okay. Has it noticed us?

Hmm? Has it noticed us? It's like shifted a little bit. Hmm. We're not an initiative. I'm gonna cast Natural Fang, the Greater Magic Fang. You don't have fangs yet. Because you're a hooman.

Become a bear. Of course. Roar. Roar. Do you're a homin. Become a bear. Of course. Roar. Roar. Do you tell us that something's ahead? Yeah, I'll like crouch down and be like, I'm just going to become a bear real quick. You whisper.

We are learning. Probably echoes. Oh, yeah. I'll let you signal if you want to. Nah. Let her yell. The creature like gets up, turns around to face you. This creature seems to be about the size of a pony. It has four insect-like legs and a squat, humped body,

protected by a thick, lumpy hide. Its tail is covered with armor plates. I hate it. And ends in a bony projection that looks like a double-ended paddle. The creature sports two long antennae on its head, one beneath each eye. Come on. You know what I'm hoping for, guys?

I'm hoping that it's going to ask us for a rooster. You know when you get caramel popcorn? You have caramel popcorn in a bowl and you get a huge clump of it together? Imagine that and then also some popcorn- colored grass has gotten stuck on it i was like mixed with like uh and a shovel at the end and and a fishy like a like a fish a fish tail but mostly bone

yeah that's as tall if you google that you could find the picture also kind of pretty looking like a a moth yeah or. Or butterfly antennae? It turns around to face you, and then you guys can do what you want. Is it gonna ask us a riddle? You're thinking of sphinxes. Again, is it gonna ask us a riddle to get past Adam?

The answer is man. The name Rust Monster, and you know what it looks like, Ali. Zilli, whatever. And is it this? Oh yeah, I don't know shit about rust. I'm assuming though that it'll rust shit. That's a fair enough assumption. Is that to you? Considering what I've seen, I'm gonna be like try not to hit it with your weapons

I'm gonna put my hammer in my bag the bag of holding and just fire an arrow I'm gonna cast Magic Fang Greater on myself. Become a bear cast Magic Fang Greater. Charge You gonna charge in yep i hope there's not thousands of them i bet there's thousands of them god damn attack yep oh wow fuck right off yeah no you like slam into it but it like tucks in almost like you know how

butchy boys get into what's the actual name for Butchy Boys? Butchy Boys? Rollie Pollies? Well, imagine like it sort of forms a ball a little bit. Like braces itself. And you just slam hardlessly against it. Fuck. Then I'm going to call it, I don't know, Zilly?

You can have a go now if you want. I'd like to... Actually, I was going to use lightning bolt but you'll hit Cassius yeah maybe magic missile

is that like touch of Wesley what's Wesley I have no idea man Wesley can go in you do do magic

oh Wesley's fully healed now actually Cassius healed another six hit points as well bitches good that I remember at least something as if I played Cassius

or like super like a drag queen look out for boys imagine if like not only offensive but hey anyway annoying

Zilly what do you want to do magic but also annoying okay please three bolts of magical energy once again

leap from your hand striking the does it do anything Ross Monster who knows it's fucking Ross Monster in powers magical energy once again leap from your hand striking the rust monster it's a fucking rust monster in powers the rust monster lets out this awful squeal and when I say awful I don't mean like you're like ah my ears

you're like oh I heard it oh um fire my bow and arrow. Okie dokie. Are you sure we can't just ask it for a riddle? It's a monster. Like if it solves our riddle?

You hit it twice. There's no riddles. Is the answer the wind? I'm hopeful. Or is it nothing? Is it money? Is it teeth? Dealing 14 damage total.

Sometimes it's an egg. Sometimes it is an egg. I'm just thinking of riddle answers. The rust monster turns around and runs away. Oh. It skitters off into the darkness. You can chase it if you want. That one would come back and bite us in the arm.

Chase it. You chase it? Okay, Cassius, I'll give it to you. You can charge into it again if you want. I'm wearing like... If I get the half plate rusted, I'm fucked. Yep, you bring it to the ground. Cool. Kill it? Yeah. I'm wearing, like, if I get, like, the rust half plate rusted, I'm fucked. Yep. You bring it to the ground.

Cool. Kill it? Yeah, like, straight up. Like, you just slam into it, crush it onto the ground, and there's, like, this green blood that oozes from it. Well, I guess that's that problem solved. We fixed your rust monster riddle. Adam, we solved your riddle.

It was full. Ah, of rust? Can I collect the rust from inside? No. Don't touch it. I'm going to say you give the corpse like a birth, even after it's dead, just in case. Yeah.

All right, I'll carry on. I'll stay bare for the mo, though. Give it a birth. Okay. Give it like a wide birth. Oh. Not like a water birth. Give it a a wide berth Not like a water berth Give it a still berth

You get a little bit further Same day still You get a little bit further And there's this tiny little turn off That you're supposed to go down And it's like maybe 50 metres down This little turn off That's when you get to the drow encampment proper

The turn off is actually a little hard to find, but Cassius, you find it without too much difficulty. So, what's your plan here? This tunnel's a lot smaller than the big tunnel you've been in. Only one person can get through at a time, and the bear will have a tough time getting through. Can we see what's through there? If you shine your light down, yeah.

I might alert them, though, eh? They might have already seen you approaching. You're not sure. I'm like Winnie the Pooh. We'll just push you through. Or I could become a leopard and go invisible and wreck shit. You could be invisible as a bear. I'd have a harder time getting through.

What's more powerful, a leopard or a cheetah? I would have said leopard. But I have no way of backing that up. Just leap from one to one. Or a baboon. Just rip their faces off. I think baboons. I could become a baboon.

Summon a baboon. Arguably about the same. It's like he turns to a baboon Summon a baboon Go invisible They're gonna be fighting a baboon And invisible to the baboon As a cheetah you'll be faster

Okay As a leopard you'll do more damage I'll change back into Cassius Change into a leopard You can just change into a leopard Okay and I'll get some powder on me Make me invisible You heal some hit points

And I'll fuck my way inside And just rain on their parade. Okay. Wow, wow. You turn through. You sprint down a 50-meter passage. There's like this makeshift little door that they've set up at about that point. There's a drow standing guard just before the door.

Or there was. He lies dead in front of the door. Is he also rusty? Is he rusty? No, his weapons seem fine. You get to him. You give him a cursory look over? Yeah.

Blades, like actual sharp, very precise blades. He looks like he went down to three precise cuts. One from behind, and that's a big deep cut. And then two in the front. Are they like, alveolus? From the position of the body as well.

You're doing a little CSI shit here as a leopard. You can tell that the blow from behind was the first one, and then that was like a mortal wound, but the two that,

after he spun around from behind, were the killing blows. Huh. You know what I should have done before I became a leopard? Got an zillion of it here to cast message so we could talk to each other from afar. Oh, wait, no, I still couldn't.

I'm a leopard. You communicate to the leopard. I'll do you with message. Dang. Oh, really? Whispered conversation. What am I thinking? Sorry, yeah, you're wrong.

I'm wrong, you're right But I can't, ah fuck If I turn back No, don't turn back Can you go through the door? Can I carry on through the door? You can try to break it down Will we shuffling along behind you?

Okay I want to think like, man Cassie's good Man these look like actual fucking blades It's not just like the, like Jaguars must have like blades You strike the door but it doesn't break Man, these look like actual knives. Not just like the... Jaguars must have blades. You strike the door, but it doesn't break. I guess you guys just see the door be like... What do you want to do then?

These guys are here, right? Are you guys following after? No, we're following after. Okay. Here they are. Open the door. I'm going to point to the... I definitely know that it wasn't Cassius that killed that drow, right?

Good question. You can't tell. As far as you're aware, Cassius completely silently took down this drow. Zilly, it seems a little odd, the wounds for a leopard. It's fine. You know what? Edric didn't ask me questions. I'm going to ask Cassius.

You open the door and I'm going to go to initiative. I'm going to be like, good, open the door. Okay. Are all of my attacks surprise attacks? Given that I am invisible? First couple, maybe. Depends how long until they realise that you're invisible. And a leopard.

Is that worse for us? No, no, no, it's a lot better. Alright. You did good. I'm excited. Is that worse for us? No, no, no. It's a lot better. All right. You did good. I'm excited. Let me describe the room as well before you leap in. I'm going to just destroy everything. Leaps in.

It's a moat. Drown to death as a Lepard. Invisible Lepard. You'd never find the body. Never ever. Oh, you will. It wears off. Okay.

So there are in total six drow in this room. Six drow alive. There's 10 drow dead, lying on the floor, like completely broken and bloodied. One drow, one of the six, is on the ground. You can see she's wounded. And she's on the ground in front of the very mangled body of Herja. Oh, no. Even from here, Herja is definitely dead.

But look at the amount of people Herja took down. Five other drow, as you open the door, turn to face you. Combat begins. Cassius. I'd like to... Stab my god neck. Who's the closest one? Actually, you know what?

I'll go around the back. If they're all facing everyone else, I'll silently pad my way around back to get the guy from the back. As you do... Oh, no. Okay, no, never mind. None of them notice you. You're a silent predator. You can go for the, like, the female.

There's one female drow and five male ones. Okay. The female one is, like, kneeling in front of the corpse. She's the furthest, like, the other five were right next to the door. Does it look like she's of... She's kneeling down and she's saying something under her breath. She's, well, you can't tell. She's muttering something under her breath.

Might be a spell. Might just be talking to herself. She's pretty you can't tell She's muttering something under her breath Might be a spell, might just be talking to herself She's pretty badly wounded Already I destroy her No mercy No fucking mercy Wait You pounce

I'm just like Are they all elves? They're all drow I don't know that Star Wars stole them some fucking stormtrooper This has happened. Are they all elves? They're all drow, right? They're all drow, yeah. All right. They definitely killed her. I don't know that Star Wars stole them some fucking stormtrooper fucking... Oh, no. What's this? No one likes some Star Wars stole the stormtrooper outfits but are actually good guys.

They stole the drow outfits. Yeah, drow skin. You tear her to shreds. Yes. If she is the one who killed Herja, you got your fucking just revenge. A little mad at you, but alright. Who knows? Here we are.

That puts it at Zilly's turn. Lightning bolt. Fuck everyone up. You could hit maybe two. If you went into the room and positioned yourself, you could hit two. Magic missile. Okay. A bunch of the drow here look like of the five maybe three of them look a little bloodied like they've already been in a fight or possibly with her

that's good do you want to target just one or uh three different drow three different ones three different ones change it up okay it's a three three wounded one, you blast his chest open, and you can see rib and gore and grizzle. He falls over. His mouth moves like he's trying to scream, but you get the impression that no air is passing through his mouth anymore. Another one, you blast, knock onto his ass, and he looks like he might give up the fight at this point. He's pretty broken.

Another one just rolls with the blow and keeps going. Is that all there is? There's five, well, five drow, or four drow left alive. One of them you knocked onto his ass, another one you hit. Um, and Edric. You can charge into the room and potentially kill three drows.

That, do that. That one? If you do that, you can hit up to three drow, but one you do that you can hit up to three drow but one of them will get a free hit on you nah blind rage nah I'm like that is my hopes and dreams gone dashed

did I get a crit they got a crit a bad one yay a good one for us. This sword is heavy. You are fatigued. Yeah, no, I don't even need to explain. You guys probably know why he's pretty fatigued.

He's had a bad time. It's been a long, hard fight. Yeah, no. Then you get your attacks. My hopes and dreams of perhaps settling down after the war are just gone now. Like, the one thing I was actually genuinely holding onto, not just as, like, Edric, as, like, Zamet, to be like, maybe we'll catch up, maybe she'll be captured,

maybe we can make a bargain or something, and we can just kind of, like, maybe a happy ending for this character. No, no. Chaotic evil? The first hit, your camera actually only catches the drow on the arm, but it shears his arm clean off. He spins around, hits the ground, and just lies still. Your second one strikes the drow in the legs.

You knock him, and he, like, spins head over heels, hits the ground. And when he hits the ground, well, even when you hit him, you hear, like, bones snapping, and he screams. And when he hits the ground, you hear more snapping, and he continues. He's just, like, broken and he screams and when he hits the ground you hear more snapping and he continues he's just like broken bloodied and screaming on the ground yeah just the third one because you hit low with the second one your hammer actually skips off the ground and for a terrifying moment you think that you're about to lose balance from that sudden jarring blow but you manage to right yourself. You miss on the third attack, but you get your- oh no, you moved. Nevermind. Yeah.

Soz. So that's another two drow dead. So two left? Yep. Cool. Soz. Drow's turn. I was gonna be like, I hope one can stay alive, but oh well. Hey.

Both of the drow- oh, one of the drow- oh, sorry, they're already armed, what am I talking about? One drow moves in And he's got two short swords Edric And he like moves them In this weird Fucking criss cross fashion Double short swords

How cool Both of them like Rake against your armor But neither of them penetrate That's awesome The last drow Backs up wildly Pulls a hand crossbow

And fires it at Edric He hits you Whatever I'm not mad Whatever it's fine Whatever I'll take the hit Astral backs up wildly, pulls a hand crossbow, and fires it at Edric. He hits you. Whatever, I'm not mad. Whatever, it's fine. Whatever, I'll take the hit. You take three points of damage. Good, and I'm sleepy now.

And you're a bit tired. A little tired. You can have a nap. A nap will do you right. Yeah, you feel that wash of sleepiness wave over you, but you just fight through it. Just rage. Rage, dog. That brings us back to Cassius. of sleepiness wave over you but you just fight through it just rage rage dog um that brings us

back to Cassius how many attacks do I have as a leopard a leopard the one that backed up with the hand crossbow

yeah you can get a full attack against him which is a bite and two claws yeah okay yeah I'll do that

also uh do I get any special leopard abilities yep um you can never change your spots all right Do I get any special leopard abilities? Yep. You can never change your spots.

All right. I look forward to this leopard ability. I hope it's something ridiculous like flight. Like Tigger? Like there's a spring on your tail? So what happens is when you attack someone, you can just grab onto them and grapple them. If you do that, you get a fourth free attack done That's like fucking see it just shot like a crossbow like

God damn try to claw him. I feel like he's like motherfucking champion his back kicking him I feel like he just, like, chomps on his back, like, kicking him. You know, like a bunny. Yes! That's a lot of bowling. You leap onto the back of this drow.

As you do it, you become invisible. Okay. So you're invisible at the end. Oh, my God, that's terrifying. The drow's like, ah, fuck, as you just tear his chest apart, he drops to the ground and is writhing underneath you.

You bite into the back of his neck and predator style, you tear out his spine. He goes still. One drow left. Zilly. That is not a leopard sound. I don't even know what a leopard sound is.

It's more like a cat. I don't think zepids... That's more like it. Zilly, it's your turn. Who's left? One drow left. He's the one with two swords. He tried to do a fucking fancy fighting pattern with Hedrick.

Oh, no. I don't want to ask him a question, but I have nothing to ask. What should we ask? How do you want to die? Yeah. I'll pad up to the two of you. Just Elvish, just surrender or whatever. Yeah.

You say in Elvish, surrender? Elvin? Yes. Whatever. Yeah, I do. I look him right in the eyes and I put my, I don't have a sword in my mind.

Oh, I do have a sword actually. Yeah. Maybe I do have a sword. No, I don't. You had a club and you've never used it. I did once. Clubs are great.

I hate an alligator. Just be like, well, you say surrender. It seems very intimidating to you, but you got to wait until his turn if you want to see him surrender. Edric? Just kill him.

Basically, stand down and sunder one of his weapons. Oh, yeah. So I was like, his arm? You're going to cut off his arm?

Sunder his arm. Whatever to attack, yeah? Sunder both. Okay, you swing down, but you're like, so blinded by your rage.

It's all power and no substance, really. So your hammer just slams into the ground. Sparks go everywhere, but you miss. You can try again. Yeah, I'll try again. This time you strike it. Gerald, Gerald, Gerald! Yeah, you break one of his swords in two.

Cool. If you'd hit the first time, you could have broke both of his swords in two. Cool. If you'd hit the first time, you could have broke both of his swords. I know. That would have been great. Would have been a nice moment, but anyway. The drow takes a step back, drops the one sword that he has left, and then spins around to fucking Cassius, draws a dagger and throws it at you with lightning speed.

Oh, it likes to jump in front? I hope I chase it like a cat. It's like the other side of the room from you. Where's it going? Oh, no. Adam's happy. No! Fritz had for us.

Punctured lung. Double damage and target begins to drown three rounds later. Mios, Mios. Good luck. We're going to work three rounds later. Mios, Mios! Good luck. We're going to work out this one. Yeah. Yeah, we do. You take seven points of damage.

Oh, sorry. 14 points of damage, and I'll start marking rounds until you start bleeding. All right. Okay. Drowning, I mean. That puts it at Cassius' turn. I'd like to retaliate in kind.

I understand. In that I throw myself at him. Sit on him. Yeah. Sit on his face. Sit on his face and take the air out his lungs like cats do in myths. You rip him to shreds. He dies.

Well, good. Now, taking full account of the room, you notice that this larger room has another corridor that goes off into darkness. I'd like to turn to you guys and sit on my haunches and be like... I'd like to give you a potion.

I'm assuming there's a torch here as well, because Cassius would have had to end the light spell to become invisible. So I'm guessing maybe Zilli brought a torch with her. Yeah, sure, I would have. I'd go over to Herrscher. Yeah, there's like, her body is very badly wounded. Not wounded, sorry.

Dead, like very badly dead. Yeah, like it's... She'd suffered a lot of nicks and cuts and bruises and damage. Any other of our people around? You just see her. Yeah, it's like the wounds are so plentiful and clustered together, it's hard to gather any information from this. You just know that she's dead. Close her eyes with my hand.

Have a moment. Be all sad. While that's happening, I'd like to give Cassius a potion of cure moderate wounds, please. Because I am sad. I know you are. Because I am a little sad. What am I? Adam, why you do this?

Because he has no soul. Cassius, you recover 11 hit points. And does he stop bleeding out? Oh, no. Hang on. How do we cure drowning? Oh, no. Hang on. How do we cure drowning? Quickly, turn to a squid. I thought that would have helped.

Because it would have fixed up the puncture, wouldn't it? Let me revisit that thing. Yeah, you're going to start drowning, but... Don't drown a cat. I might just have to use lesser restoration. Maybe not, actually. Just wasted a bloody potion. Are you doofus? I might just have to use lesser restoration Maybe not actually I forgot that Just wasted a bloody potion

This is what I do to be on your good side again You are Yeah but As I'm a real mate Now that's still not happening That's what I'm working for Zilly doesn't know that Yeah Zilly has no idea

I was ever going to take Well I did say I was going to take you. Yeah. No, you're probably right. Yeah, the healing would stop it. Okay. I'd like to go over to Hersha as well and put my cat head on her chest. Let's all just take a moment.

Well, I'm definitely taking a moment. Oh, God damn it. I will as well. Adam, you hurt me. It's getting super personal. All three of you can vaguely hear sounds of fighting from down the tunnel. What more tragedies lie ahead? Find out next time on Husfirma Pride, a D&D is for Nerds adventure.

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