D&D is For Nerds - Hus Firma Pride #4 Werebear

Episode Date: October 15, 2016

Hus Firma PrideIn which our heroes venture into the dark. We fight a giant worm, fight a giant spider and consider putting one of their own down. Cassius turns into a bear, Zillie is really new to magic and Edrik swings for the bleachers. So join us as we deal with some scary ghosts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sans Pants Radio, I discovered one long blonde chest hair on my chest earlier today. It's fucked, itooks, as in Jackson Bailey Spooks America, one of our favorite Patreon-only shows featuring Adam. So not only will we be doing a live plumbing the Death Star, but your favorite dungeon master will be taken to the stage for the first time without the comfort of his DM screen or trusty dice to put his opinions in a box and put that box under the table to talk ghouls and goblins. Details to purchase tickets are in the show notes, so come on down and get spooked.

Now, enjoy the show. Welcome to episode four of Hust Firm at Pride, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Previously. You remember sitting on a boat with him? A boat? Yep. Could I get wolf allies is my question. I've lost a father.

What if we kill the son? I'm going to ask Daniel for a high five. Does he respond? Will he high five back? Daniel's like in a pretty serious mood. Okay, so you open up the hatch. Cassius with me. Daniel behind.

Zilli, rear guard. I can talk to my animal. What's Wesley saying, Adam? I give you a puzzled look and go down the right path. From previously unseen perforated holes in the walls, arrows start shooting out at both you and Cassius. I'd like to detect magic. This is necromantic magic.

Would I be able to give any other information than stuff from two seasons ago? Within the elven tomb, you face that door, carved with the elaborate visage of an elf. What would you like to do? Kind of poke the door with the warhammer. As you get, like, up, right up to the door, you see that it's, like, frosted over. There's, like, frost at the edges of it, and the door handle is just completely covered in ice. Yeah, warhammer and just smack away the ice.

Okay. Cancel cold with cold. Yes. Elsa style. I haven't enchanted it yet. I haven't said the special words. You haven't said it. Ice.

I haven't said cold. Cold. Cold. Cold. I do actually, like, when I picture my character being Nordic, I do picture kind of like a bit of a braid going on, long blonde hair. Yeah, that's what I imagine. And I'm looking at my spells and I'm like, hmm, Ray of Frost, Charm Touch.

So you are Elsa. All these cold-related things. I am Elsa. You do love the snow. You strike the door with your warhammer. The sheet of ice covering it shatters and just falls to the floor. Good bloody job. Champion just falls to the floor. Good bloody job!

Champion! Apache on the back. Or the bum, I guess. Thank you, Cassius. I just open the door. It's still cold to the touch when you grab it. And when you open it up, you can tell immediately that this room has seen better days. Half of it is completely collapsed and there's snow just everywhere.

More importantly though... Look at all this snow! Wait, a ghost! The ghost of my elven brethren. The ghost of fallen soldiers. Where are you? The stink of rotten meat.

Guys, guys, description's happening. The stink of rotten meat. Oh, God. Guys, guys, description's happening. The stink of rotten meat surrounds this multi-legged creature with a segmented 10-foot long body. Oh, graciously. A writhing tentacles protrude from its head. Oh, my God. Growing directly below. Oh, wait.

Growing directly from below its cracking mandibles and tooth-filled maw. Oh, no. Is this a spider? It's like some sort of hideous green slug thing, but with all these tentacles at its mouth. And it's got like a rose of teeth like a shark would. Adam. Do we know what this is?

Are we fighting Cthulhu? No, this thing's slug-like. Is there a picture? Yeah, there's a picture. I'm not going to help the people at home. I thought it was an octopus, and then I was like, oh, it's a frozen octopus. Imagine, I'm going to try and describe it for you listeners.

Go ahead. So you've got a slug. Easy. Everybody's picturing a slug. Done. Bright green. Bloody crayon vivid green. Okay.

Now give it like a cheesy smile. Right? In its mouth. It's got a little cheesy grin. Right? And then, you know, like bean sprouts? That's what its tentacles look like. Like alfalfa coming out from under its cheesy grin.

That's what we're fighting. An alfalfa slug. When you first started describing it, I was like, oh my God, we're fighting a frozen octopus. And then I was super pumped. And then you said something else. I'm like, oh my God, we're fighting a spider. I can't deal with this Ali can't deal with this

fuck everyone else I don't like spiders oh slut ew so everyone here has heard of this creature before none of you would have

ever encountered one though it's called a carrion crawler they're basically they're basically like what do you call it a vulture like what's a vulture? It's the thing that feeds on dead things.

You mean carrion? Carrion, yeah. Hence the name, yes. Right there. It's in the title. Yeah, they they basically just feed on dead bodies. Anywhere you find large amounts of dead bodies

underground especially you find these things. This isn't a ghost at all! No, it's not I turn into a bear we'll come to that in a fucking second that's awesome it's gonna happen and it's gonna be the best

turn into a carrion crawler and confuse us don't do that I'll seduce it with my feminine charm your feminine bear charm. Okay, bear or mandrill? I mean, I have a lot of options. What's a mandrill?

Like a baboon. That's a monkey. That's a monkey. Bear. If there's room for it. That bear. There's room for a bear. If there's room for a carrying crawler, there's room for a bear.

Gang, come on now. All right. Yeah, be a bear. I hope that when you become a bear, you keep your beard. I hope I'm like a Cassius-looking whatever I become. And you still can say, fuck boy. Yeah. I can't talk, actually.

I can only make bear noises. Hey, can I talk to all animals or just my animal, Adam? Just Wesley. Yeah, just him. It charges at... Who went through the door? I forgot. Edric.

It charges down Edric. Edric, you're standing in the doorway as well, so no one else can get to this thing right now. Edric, don't take it from on you, fuckboy. I don't want to fight it. It slams into you. Is it wet and gross? Oh, it's going to be so slimy.

Oh, it's going to be like somebody just shoving a stick of butter into you. No, butter's all right. Slimy. More solid. Oh, there's butter on me like somebody just shoving a stick of butter into you. No, butter's all right. Slimy. Like butter's like, oh, there's butter on me. Like butter that doesn't melt. Yeah. No, it's going to be like someone put a slug on your face. Yeah, effectively like a slug barreled into you.

But like the size of a bus. Yes. A slime bus. Slime bus. Classic old slime bus. Slug bus. Can we mention the size of a Volkswagen? Slug. Slime bus. Slime bus. Classic old slime bus. Slime bus. Slime bus. Did they mention the slime bus? Volkswagen? Bug.

It slams into you and rather than using its like massive teeth or anything like that, it just wraps tentacles around you. The tentacles just blow its mouth. You feel like little tiny stingers on the tentacles penetrate your skin. Oh my god. You don't deal, it doesn't deal any damage, but wherever the spines pierce your skin, the skin there stiffens and goes numb, and you realize it's paralyzing you slowly. Oh, good.

Jesus Christ. Now I'm going to call it a Zilly's turn. Woo-hoo! How does my weasel feel? It's terrifying. Well, maybe I won't get it to do chill touch. Gee, Ali. Is that how the weasel sounds? Zilly, I'm so scared. Terrifying. Well, maybe I won't get it to do chill touch. It seemed like a good idea. Gee, Ali.

Is that how the whistle sounds? Zilly, I'm so scared. It's already primed with. Yeah, it's got fatigue. Baboo slime. No, fatigue. No, no. I don't know where you got that from.

You fatigue it to go down the tunnel. Oh. So you may as well use that or else you waste it. Yeah, true, true, true. I'm going to ask Wesley if he could just chuff on and touch it. Touch the gooey slug. When you were talking about the thing, you were like, it's already charged with, and I was like, oh, the slug?

I thought you were talking about the slug, and I was like, oh, slug, baboo slime. Yeah, makes sense. He gives a little bit of a mmm, mmm, but he goes and does it. Oh, he's so beautiful. And what does he say, Adam? Sorry? What does Wesley say?

What does Wesley say? He gives it a bit of a... I feel like there's something Wesley often says before he does all this. I'm a Wesley. That's not it at all. I actually don't know what you're talking about. Adam, Wesley's meant every time I ask you to do something, he's meant to say, as you wish.

You wish. God, Wesley got attitude. Wesley got tewed in buckets. I like the idea of me reading. What spell did you prime in it? In him? In Fever Woman. What?

What was the spell? Touch of Fatigue. Touch of Fatigue? Yeah, touch. Yeah, rave in Fever Woman. I do myself. Ah, shit. Touch of Fatigue?

Yeah, I did because I wanted to send an elf to sleep. Well, it's Fatigue. send an elf to sleep. Well. It's fatigued sick success That's gonna eat your weasel Surely nice quick. It's fine. Mm-hmm No, it doesn't actually get a full-time Really good I can mr.. Fist or not Should have traded him for an ape I would also like use... That's super good. That is really good. I can miss the fists or nothing. Oh, no, I use that one. I should have traded him for an ape.

If I use Raven Feebleman, this is going to be more tiring. We could just put him to sleep. Raven Feebleman lowers its strength score. We might do that. Whereas Touch of Fatigue just makes it tiring. Yeah, okay, all right. It's just like... Just shot bolt. I am pooped.

Yeah, basically. Cross bolted. Do I have one of those? Oh, I guess I have... You've got a magic missile. Yeah, all right, magic missile bolt it. I am pooped. Yeah, basically. Cross bolt it. Do I have one of those? Magic missile it. Yeah, all right, magic missile. Small spice would be fine. Might you hit old Edric over here, though? No, a magic missile always finds its target.

That's super good. What a rad time. Because it's a magic. And it's a missile. Why didn't Griffpum have that, Jackson? Let's not forget. Let's not recall the sins of Griffpum Pumgriff, who's rotting in a barrel far away from here.

Who no one here knows. Yeah. No one here ever met him. I've heard tale of Griffon. I've forgotten a lot of them. Guys, imagine if people wrote stories about our original season one crew, and then they got into books, and that's what Zilly read.

He was reading stories about tales of nobody's nobody's telling the story of a team of adventurers who killed wizards poorly yeah so three magical uh bolts of arcane energy leap from your hand, striking the carrion crawler. It makes this awful screeching sound, like you imagine something that a creature like this would make. Ah! Curls the blood out of your fucking nose. It's D&D After Dark, guys.

Hi! Hi-ya-ya! And you see like sizzling bubbling shit coming out of the wreathing mass that it is Guys, I'm wrong, Mr. Shit It's Daniel's turn Daniel can't actually get in physically to hit it

so he just draws his bow and tries to use that instead I can't get around you, can I? I can pull you away Take a step back, but it depends on my turn. I think you're still getting it. I am. You are.

You're getting jabbed in the neck by bean sprouts, mate. I imagine if we killed Edric. Edric, it's your turn. Can I break free and attack? It's not like latched onto you. You can just attack. Okay, I'll attack and then take a step backwards. Okay.

Stab it with a hammer. Not how a hammer works. Oh, and I can say the cold thing, yeah? Yeah, go ahead. Cold. I want to give it a bit more emphasis than that. Brr. Brr.

I'm pricking up my thumbs. Something shit just came up. What's the Nordic word for cold? Brr, it's cold in here. Brr. It is cold in here. Adventures in the atmosphere. I say a birch.

Guys, get in on it. I would rather not. So that's what I've got to do every time I... Birch is cold in here. There must be some adventures in the atmosphere. Carrion crawler, just hold on. Just a moment, mate. You bring your mighty warhammer down on the carrion crawler,

and you paste that fucking slug. The front half of it is just an ugly smear on the ground. The back half writhes upwards and it starts squirting out fucking goo and bits and you see parts of dead bodies come out as well. Oh, super gross. Is it dead? Oh bodies come out as well. Oh, super gross. Is it dead? Oh, it's super dead. Oh, good.

I'd like to offer a high five to Eldrick. Eldrick? Eldrick? Edrick. High five? We just fought, Eldrick. I just nod at you. Nah, high five.

I was there. Well, high five. Well done. Bang. Yeah. And then, like, one by one, you grab at the tentacles on your back and just, like, oh, gross. and then high five well done bang yeah and then like one by one you grab at the tentacles

on your back and just like guys have a like a cursory look through the stuff if like the dead bodies

if there's anything looting just to like see what's there half digestive if it's elves if it's if it's

oh they're all elves here this is like a massive burial chamber if there are any like fresh dead or if it's all old. Is it hard to tell? No, even like in advanced decomposition, there's like definite elven features to the bodies.

Okay. It's kind of pretty gruesome work. And even with your history as a soldier, you're a bit tentatively, you're pretty tentative with like moving up the body um anything that could have been of worth probably rot oh no i meant as in like if it was eating corpses or if it was eating oh fresh people no i was just eating these rotting corpses that were buried basically so it's not there's no fresh there's no carl there it is kind of hard to tell

with some of the ones that ate though they're pretty well digested But he's not eating Carl You don't see anything that could be Carl Did I change into a bear or did I just not get a chance You didn't get a chance Oh thank god, because I was going to be like Everybody stops and I'm like Anything else in this room Or is it a continue on or has it stopped

Because of the cave-in You're pretty sure there's no other way. The cave-in dominates this room. Unless you wanted to try excavating it, there's only one entrance and exit, and you came through it. Let's go back to the webs. We've got to deal with the webs, clearly. Oh, we'll use the torch, put it on the floor, and then I'll use my motherfucking pyrotechnics.

Burn those webs? Oh, right. Yeah, all right. On the webs, yeah? Yeah. No, just pour water on the torch. Put it on the floor. And then I'll use my motherfucking pyrotechnics. Burn those webs. Oh, right. Yeah, all right. On the webs, yeah? Yeah. No, just put water on the... Put the torch to the webs. On the...

Well, I'm just saying, whichever works. All right, we'll chuff down the left path. As you're walking back, you hear the whispering starts again. The carrion crawler was not the ghosts. And then when you get to about the point where you guys came down, you can see the staircase. You just... Super haunted.

Edric, you just hear someone whisper the words into your ear. Get out. And then the torch goes out. Fight me, ghosts! Spectral fuckboys! What happened to the light? That was Daniel. Yeah, Daniel.

Because of the light coming down from above, you guys left the hatch open, right? Yeah. Yeah, you can see a little bit, but not perfectly. We have nothing to help us with. We got more torches. I light the torch again. You light it?

Yeah, it just comes back. Did anyone else hear that? I just saw your torch go out, mate! Something whispered to me get out and blew out the torch. Daniel, I don't know if anyone is here, but I don't know any other leads for Carl. Daniel turns to you, Cassius. You saw that there was activity above in the snow, right? Yeah, here and there. If I have to tear this place apart,

I'm not letting some elven ghost scare me, he says. He beats us just a little bit. Let's grow our pride. Let's grow our pride. I'd like to hold Wesley real close. Sorry? I'd like to hold Wesley real close. Don't get spooked, lads.

It's just a ghost. Daniel, stay close to Zilly. All right, Cassie, It's just a ghost. Daniel, stay close to Zilly. All right, Cassie, let's go. All right, let's chuff on through. I'm going to punch some webs down. Good. Who's leading again? Sorry, it's Cassie.

Same deal. Same deal, but not appeal. Okay, so your first indication that you're walking into webs is when you literally are in the webs. Like, they were so fine and hard to see, especially in this poor light, that you do literally walk into them. No, no, no. It's like you're a fly trapped in a web. Oh, no.

Oh, gee. That happens and then you hear... Spiders! Oh, no. This is the bit where Ali freaks out. I hate spiders so much. what if they're scorpions I was looking through that and I'm like scorpions would be super funny to throw at them

but it is spiders scorpions web making scorpions guys I can use pyrotechnics and hopefully set the webs on fire but we might get set on fire or I could add more webs that's what I would like to try now it's the adventures of Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us.

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Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us.

Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us.

Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us.

Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us.

Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us.

Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Us. Of, well, they're medium sized, aren't they? About the size of a dog? I don't know why I'm talking to you about it. You're not the fucking Monster Man, you're... Back to fucking front, aren't you? They're medium sized, so these spiders are about as large as a person. Other than that, just picture a spider. Alright, done. Please do not give me any more description, I'll feel more scared as Ali. Zilli, you take it like a champ, but Ali.

Okay, Cassius? Become a bear. Mmm. You still trapped, you know that, right? I'll fight them off as a bear. I'll have a better chance. Well, you're stuck in the web. You're a bear, though. Imagine if I become an alligator, Adam. You start thrashing in the web, and you all see that Cassius becomes a lot hairier

than Cassius strictly has any reason to be. What happens to your armor? It goes into my body. That's right, yeah, it does. All of Cassius' equipment gets absorbed into his body as he becomes... Her body. Her body, sorry. As she becomes a bear.

Okay. Shut up. So it's four spiders. I didn't know you could do that, Cassius. Two of them go at Cassius. A bear thumbs up. Candy. Andy. Fuck.

They both missed the bear. Yay. King bear. I can't say that. I can only say it in bear. Bears don't have horns. And then two go for Edric. Are you trapped in the web?

Yeah. Is Daniel and I trapped in the web? No. It was just Cassius and Edric. Son of a bitch. Yeah, because of your thick armor, they can't get to you either. They like try to chomp down on you

but you bring up your fucking armored gauntlet hand. You're pushing one of them off and the other one's like trying to nomp down on your shoulder plate. Stop it nomping, mate. I will. Don't you get nomped by no spider. Now it's Zilly's turn. I would like to use Ray of Frost.

Please. Yep, on one of the ones attacking who? Yeah. Yeah, Cassius. Alright, then. Oh, did you say you're right? I said I'm right. Oh, sorry. It's fine. I'm sorry. I thought you were like I want to be saved.

In the shorthand version of Ray of Frost, does it say how much damage it does? One Ray of Frost's worth. 1d3 cold damage. 1d3? Yeah. Cool. I mean 7d3.

A billion d3 frost damage. You deal two points of damage. Yes! But it's cold damage. It doesn't keep, like, every round. It's cold damage. What? What?

That's poison. What the fuck is the point of this? My spells suck! What is that, a cantrip? I literally asked Adam as Crypt Pump Pump Crypt for the worst spells, and I did five. Your spell's useful, Ali. You're actually hitting the creature.

That was a level zero spell. You want to cause some real damage, you better start busting out your real spells, Ali. Alright, nobody explained how being a sorcerer's way. Lower level spells do less damage. I didn't think that needed. Day one, SpongeBob! I'm sorry, guys. Just break it down

Barney style. Right! Yeah, well, I've used it, so I guess it's done. Edric, it's your turn. You can try to break your way out of the web If you want Or you can escape artist or just break Or you can just attack the web

Alright we're going to break free of the web Break free I want to break free You try to pull at the web But it just stretches That's all that happens All you end up doing is getting yourself deeper in Taffy

Daniel's turn Is the web flammable? Probably yeah All you end up doing is sort of like getting yourself deeper in. Yeah, more taffy. It's Daniel's turn. Is the web flammable, though? Probably, yeah. Because I have the torch. You can try using the torch if you want. Yeah. Next.

Shouldn't struggle, idiot. I mean... So with like two mighty swings Of his spiked chain Edric You find yourself free He like cuts the web off on either side And you can move freely now Cassius

You can break free now Can I use spells? You need a special feat for that That's fine, I'll break free then Whatever, whatever I'll break free then. Whatever, whatever, whatever. I'll just maul some people. I don't mind. I'm a bear.

I'm a bear. I'm going to do some bear stuff. So sweet. I think I can also become a hawk if I intend to, but I can only become an animal once a day, so this is my once. And I can do it for like, I think it's like seven hours, so I'm not going to be a human again for a while, Gary.

Because I feel like if I do, what a waste. You're a black bear, aren't you? Yeah, I'm a black bear because that's a small one. This while, Gary. Because I feel like if I do, what a waste. Yeah, I'm a black bear because that's a small one. I can't wait if we survive this. You try to roll yourself out of it or something like that, and now you're just off the ground and wrapped up. Give you that bear look of like, oh, no, guys. That bear look of, oh, no, guys. I think you knew what I meant.

I'm familiar with this. I think everybody knows the bear in trouble. Okay. Spider's turn. Two of them try to attack Cassius again. Now that she's like, belly up exposed. That was close for you.

Guys, if I- I just think you're tangled up in like a web Like a rug and like on your back Just like flailing at the nothing I just climb onto my back and I'm like yeah sick Good Cassius you take 8 points of damage Oh you would have healed 2 hit points as well From when you changed into a bear Oh yeah that's right it heals me

Aww cute I think a druid's great Why don't you get in touch with your druid side more often Um, from when you changed into a bear. Oh, yeah, that's right. It heals me. Aw, cute. I think a druid's great. Why don't you get in touch with your druid side more often? Yeah, I should. Because I want to punch shit. I use your wristband. Oh, no. Now you can punch him with a bear.

Guess who's getting weaker? It's Jack. It's the bear. I'm still Cassie. Four less points of strength. Oh, whoa They must be enfeeblement It's poison

And then 2 try to chomp down That's gone forever 2 try to chomp down on Edric Oh, fuck Oh, no If you were a bear, this wouldn't be happening to you No, your armor doesn't save you this time, Edric Oh, fuck. Why can't I be a bear? Oh, no. If you were a bear, this wouldn't be happening to you. No, your armor doesn't save you this time, Edric.

Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, no. How quick can we kill a character? Eight points of damage to you as well. How many points do you have? He's tough. He's a tough cookie.

62. Yeah, he's a fighter. 62. How many have you got? Like 30-something? Yeah. 35. You're a sorceress. I'm pretty sure I had 38 as Ainsley and I was like stoked. Probably. Okay, um. You got spells mate.

Do I lose strength? Ooh, you lose some. Fucking hell, these goddamn dice. Just run on a bloody wave. Just stay on the thing guys You oh man for for you as well Zilli it's your turn. I would also like to Fuck some shit up and use magic missile, please. Okay. Which one are the spiders? There's four of them. One of them, do you want to hit the one you hit before?

Yeah. You dealt two damage to one. Yeah. Same one? Bust his bloody chops. Bust that one's balls. I fucking hate spiders, guys. I want this fight to be over soon. Don't worry.

Hey, you kill it. One spider down. Woo! Pew, pew, pew. Did you magic missile it? I did. I always imagine magic missiles like a punch that you send. Kind of is in a way.

Yeah. So the three bolts of magical energy strike one of the spiders, I'll say, on Cassius. The spider lifts off into the air, snaps through some of its own web, hits the ground on its back and does that, spider crawling thing where the legs come in. I love that spider curling. Edric, it's your turn. Do you want to try breaking out again? Oh, no, you're free.

He's free, mate. I'm just going to, like, power attack. Cold. Brr, it's cold in here. And then power attack one of the fuckers. Just wail on that spider, mate. Power attack for how much? You can do it up to five.

So negative five to your likelihood to hit, but positive much? You can do it up to five. So negative five to your likelihood to hit, but positive five to your damage. Or up to five. Two and a half. Yeah, two. Two and two.

2.5. 2.5. Keep it even. 2.5? Is that a thing? You can't do 2.5. Ooh, this is going to be a close one.

Oh, boy. Hit that spider. Don't glance off its back with your hammer. Ka-ting! I'm just going to wrap a close one. Oh, boy. Hit that spider. Don't glance off its back with your hammer. I'm just going to wrap myself further in this web. Nah, you try to bring the hammer down, but the spider, like, crawls up onto the ceiling above you.

Oh, spiders are so gross. And you miss it with your war hammer instead. Silly, just bolt for it. Nah, this is all Ali. It's all Ali. I'm so grossed out. Daniel frees Cassius as well. BWAAAAAAAHHHHH! Uh, Cassius, it's your turn.

Can I grab one of the spiders? You're a bear, you have no thumbs. You can try. How? Fine, I'll bite one, I'll maul a spider then. You're welcome, everyone. I just... You get two claw attacks and a bite attack yeah i'll bite

it can't wait at the same time yeah oh you get three attacks more than more that shit jesus christ yeah you get it with all three of your attacks. Cassius the bear. Cassius the bear. I don't care. I'm Cassius the bear. I sing it as the bear. You literally tear another spider apart.

You grab one of each legs in tow, you tear all of the legs off, then you tear, like, the parts of the body off as well. I turn and give the thumbs up to Edric. Bear thumbs up again. Cassius has, like, a mouthful of spider as he does that. Okay. Good job, Cassius. Good job, Cassius.

This is great news. Okay, it's the spider's turn. There's still two of them and both of them are going on Edric. Edric, you're fine, though, right? Right, mate. Okay, this time you're a little bit luckier than the last round. The one on top tries to drop down onto you,

but you knock it, or you grab it and just push it aside. The other one tries to bite at your you, but you knock it, or you grab it and just push it aside. The other one tries to bite at your leg, but you put your foot on its head and just push it away. Ew. Spiders are gross. It's a gooey. It's Daniel's turn.

It would be gooey. Oh, no, sorry. It's Zillia's turn. Zillia. I would like to use magic missile again. You don't have to use all your spells in one fight. What? No, you can.

You don't have to use all your spells if you don't want to. But if you want to, you're an experienced. No, you do it. No, do you. No, this is what Zilly would do. Zilly's never got a chance to use her spells. Exactly. That's what I'm saying.

I'm probably going to use it for the seventh time and be like, bleh. Like nothing will happen. It'll just run out. It'll be super exciting or super funny if you for like the seventh time, it'll be like... Like nothing will happen. It'll just fizz out. It'll be like, it's run out. It'd be super exciting or super funny if like you get to the seventh spell or something like that. And then you're like... You just never cast that many all at once.

So you didn't realize it made you throw up. Is that what actually happened? No. I'm sorry. I'm new to this as silly as Ali. It'd be funny though. Anyway, I think I'm going to use magic missile because that did such a good job. Okay, you want to help Edric out now, I assume?

Well, you really can't help anyone else out unless you're actively targeting a party member. Hey, I'm magic missile. You never miss. Nah, you're fine. Okay, the three magic missiles strike the one that dropped down from the ceiling to try and get you, Edric. And it knocks it back a couple feet,

but the spider looks like it's ready to fight to the death, basically. It's a spider. It's got no concept of honor. Yeah. A what? You agreed, Adam. It's too late. Adam Connival believes spiders have no sense of honor.

Edric, it's your turn. I'm just going to normal attack. You want to finish that one up? Yeah. Because I've got cleave. Teamwork. What's happening? What's happening, Adam?

Hey-oh. Spaghetti. Crit hat. Crit hat. A spider's having the worst day. It should have had some honor and left. It should. It should have had some honor and bowed down to you.

Then I would have had a familiar. A spider familiar. A spider you have to keep charming so that it doesn't run away and eat you. So what you do is, with your war hammer, you put the war hammer underneath this spider. You lift it, throw it into the air a little bit and then you fucking swing for the bleachers this spider flies across into the darkness and you do not see it ever again all right that's awesome swing about about a cleave as well um yeah you do actually so yeah. Good job. Fucking cleave, mate.

You missed the second one, though. You were worrying too much about style, so you didn't line up the second hit. See, boys and girls, this is why I'm leading the party as a fighter. So I'm in the charge. Is there still one more? Yeah, there's still one more.

Daniel tries to go for it. In my head, I'm like, I'm going to high-five that man afterwards. Yeah, good on you. Which is Daniel tries to go for it. In my head, I'm like, I'm going to high-five that man afterwards. Yeah, good on you. Which is not my usual approach in this game. I'm usually like, I'm going to pinch that man's butt. You replace bum pinches with high-fives. I'm all right with it.

It's pretty good. It's all right. You're evolving. Not just as a character, but as a person. It's beautiful. Daniel kills the last spider. Good. Ah.

I got a gesture to the web. Daniel starts freaking out as well because he turned into a bear. I put my hands up like, it's fine. I shield Daniel from the bear. You've been freaking out as well. You've never seen her, dumbass. That's what I'm saying. I'm shielding Daniel from the bear.

Thankfully, the bear helped us out with the spider problem. You can freak out as well it's up to you you're like oh no I'm gonna try and high five him cause like I wouldn't

no like you're going to I'm shielding both of you away from the bear no if I meet him I guess I'll be like

it's fine guys guys guys I think it's Cassius bear thumbs up I've read about this I've never seen a bear do a thumbs up is that bear doing a thumbs up?

I think it's Cassius. Cassius, Cassius, Cassius. If that's you, roll over. I roll over. Yes, I taught it tricks. I stand up like. Guys, guys, it's Cassius. Let's find him.

Unshield. Drop my arm. Can you turn back, Cassius? What's the floor like? Covered in webs. He's stuck on the floor. No, I'm just like, is there any way I can write? Is there any dirt I could write something in with my cloth?

There's plenty of dust where you guys just were. Okay, I want to write in the dust just like, I? Is there, like, any dirt I could write something in with my cloth? There's plenty of dust where you guys just were, yeah. Okay, I want to write in the dust just, like, I don't know, bear six hours, don't want to waste it. I'm going to turn around and give a bear thumbs up. In all of my book reading, I'll be like, guys, I think, like, as a druid. Let me roll for that one. All right, you do it first and then tell me what.

No, he's never in. Oh, a bear! I think he's a bear forever. You forget that it was Cassius. I think she's a bear forever. We've lost her. Let's put her out of her misery. Someone get the crossbow.

I'll get the war hammer. I'm like... Adam, can I try and mime bear six hours? What if I ask Wesley? I'll ask Wesley to talk to you. Wesley can't talk. They don't... Animals don't have a life. Bear, six hours. What if I ask Wesley? I'll ask Wesley to talk to you. Wesley can't talk. They don't... Animals don't have a life.

Does it actually look like they're about to attack me? I don't know. It's up to them, I guess. Daniel's freaking out a lot. Daniel, I think it's Cassius. A nod, my bear head. Are you going to turn back? Take my head. Are you going to turn back? I hate my head.

Are you going to turn back eventually? Nod my head. What curse is this? Are you a werewolf? I roll my bear eyes and lollipop through the web. She's a werewolf. Werebear, Daniel. Werebear.

Werewolf, werebear, or just plain old witch. Find out next time on Husk Firm of Pride, a D&D is for Nerds adventure. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com. Hey there, fellow adventurer. Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com. available to SansPants Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest.

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