D&D is For Nerds - Hus Firma Pride #7 Charmed

Episode Date: November 5, 2016

Hus Firma PrideIn which our heroes see a g-g-g-g-ghost! We fight among ourselves, cast some spells of ‘Charm Person’ and come upon the final chamber. Cassius isn’t joking about throwing people in a river, Zillie tells everyone to do whatever makes them feel good and Edrik is not the boss of anyone. So join us as we scream ‘I’ll kill you!’ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio, kiss your mates. Hey everyone, just letting you know that we've launched a video-only YouTube channel, Sands Pants CinemaScope. Right now you can watch a Let's Play of Never Alone, and in the upcoming weeks and months we'll be throwing up even more content. We hope. Now, enjoy the show. Welcome to episode 7 of Husfirma Pride, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Previously. Episode 7 of Hust Firm at Pride, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Previously.

Shield and slightly static pieces of ghoul strike at Zilli. Literally everyone is blinded. And you don't hear Daniel cry out in pain, so you're pretty sure you got the ghoul. Oh my god, am I dead? Am I dead? Is the ghoul just going to eat me alive, you actual motherfuckers? Is everyone stuck? Right? No, there's a certain logic there, you're right. I guess Mr. Fist is just like, danger, danger, panic, panic!

Yeah, Mr. Fist is kind of like in a serious panic. Please don't send Wesley blind into the... But he's got... He's got load Wesley up with the spell of chill touch and then get him to choo-fool on to the pool. I don't care! I thought I was getting eaten! So, in the aftermath of the fight, you survey the battlefield that, while blind, seemed

so much more confusing. Oh, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna yell at Zilly. I'm gonna deserve it. What the, what the fuck? Why are we, why were we, you give him what type of potion, sorry? Ah, cure moderate weakness, please. I'm going to yell at Zilly. I'm going to deserve it. What the fuck? Why are we... Can you give him what type of potion, sorry? Cure moderate wounds, please. I'm just going to smack it out of your hands.

A lot of the wounds you dealt to him heal over. Good. See? I was paralyzed for a lot of it. I don't know who's to blame. A. Why are we blind? B. Why is Daniel in a web? C. What are you doing?

He's still trapped in the web, by the way. No one's freed him. I would like to help him out of the web, I guess, afterwards. No, no, no. Daniel deals with Daniel. Daniel will struggle out of the web as you guys have this conversation. We have to just, what the fuck? The ghouls are dead.

Everyone's fine. Let's chuff off, guys. It's not the takeaway message. If you're going to do something like you're with your witch powers again, maybe think about it before you kill us all. Well, the ghouls are dead. Are they not dead? Yes, they're dead.

But for a while, Cassius was non-responsive. Daniel over here, you went into some kind of fugue state. I thought I'd die. What happened to you, Daniel? I thought heaven was just an endless black void where you couldn't feel and all you could do was think and hear an owl panicking. Everyone could hear that the entire way through. Is that a monkey or an owl? Deep noise.

Hyperventilating owl. Zilli, just come here. Just come here for a sec. I would like to go a little bit closer, but further enough that he can't hit me. No, come here. No. You're not my dad.

I don't have a dad. We've been friends. Take two steps to you with two fingers and just smack you on the nose. I'll take it. Just no. All right. Yeah, you hit the nose. Good.

No. I'm going to be oddly silent for a while as I contemplate the last couple minutes of my life. That's all you were able to do during those minutes. I don't know what was happening to me. I didn't know I was dead. How's everyone feeling? Are we all okay? Daniel unsteadily gets up onto his feet

I'll be fine His rage has ended He's wiping away the foam at the corners of his mouth I'm starting to get the feeling maybe Karl Hoff Doesn't, isn't here Maybe Cassius, quick, quick, just a quick time out for a sec.

Don't run ahead of everybody. Counterpoint. You're not the boss of me. Counter, counterpoint. You nearly got us killed. Counter, counter, counter, counter, counterpoint. We're alive. Run ahead. There's another door.

There's Remy going for that. It's stuckpoint. We're alive. Run ahead. There's another door out of this room. You going for that? Okay. It's stuck again. I grab him. Well, we'll get into this then. You were technically standing in the way, Edric, so I'm going to allow you to make a grapple. Are you armed, Cassius?

Do you have your weapon out? No. No? Okay. Are my fists weapons? Yeah, you have your fists. Yeah, if you want, you can get a free attack against him as he does this.

If your attack is successful the grapple automatically fails yeah all right why not i'm game okay uh you like take a swing cassius but edrick just ducks underneath that you swung at me you but you failed to like grab on the cassius cassius is um a slippery little dwarf. Adam, I would like to run in between them and then use my level one spell on Edric. What? Which level one spell? I just need to double check that I've...

I think I've got one left for the day. I would like to use charm person on Edric. Poor Edric. For a drink. This is not what he signed up for. We're trying to protect you guys. We're alive. Can you go to the page? I just want to make sure.

The page with the spells per day. Do you remember where that page is? Yep, you're looking at it now. Oh, no, no, no. I don't need to know that. I need to know. It should say spell DC. For first level spells,

what's your spell DC? That's how hard they are to resist. 16. 16? Cool. So you need to make a will save of 16, Mr. Edric. Your will modifier is zero. These exact events happening as children.

No, no, no, no. Oh, let's run down the forest. Edric, fail. Hey, guys, Edric failed. He now has to be my friend. So. I was never not your friend. The way it works is. You calm down.

Edric, you now, like, you probably did before, but you now consider fucking Zilly your friend. If you didn't before, you do now. I do. Okay. Fucking Zilli, your friend. If you didn't before, you do now. I do, okay. And you will reasonably allow her... Hang on. Actually, read the exact wording because I want to find it. I love that there is a solid percentage of spells that I have used, if not 100%, have been used on Edric.

I think most of your spells have been used on at least people in your team. Yeah. Yeah, I've used a couple of magic missiles. They're all right. Yeah, I'm thinking, have you used spells not on us? Magic missiles on a wolf. In fairness, the pyrotechnics was not meant to hit you guys. What I thought was going to happen was that the torch would then just turn up

into a big torch and then the cool would burn to death and then I would be the hero. But instead I blinded you off. So the spell does not enable you to control the charmed person as if it were an automaton, but it perceives your words and actions in the most favorable way. You can try to give the subject orders, but you must win an opposed charisma check to convince it to do anything it wouldn't ordinarily do. Retries are not

allowed. An affected creature never obeys suicidal or obviously harmful orders, but a charmed fighter, for example, might believe you if you assured him that the only chance to save your life is for him to hold back an onrushing red dragon for, quotation

marks, just a few seconds. Any act by you or your apparent allies that threatens the charmed person breaks the spell. You must speak the charmed person's language. Yeah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. Zoe, have I ever told you just how great a person you are? Not enough.

Now, I think that what we should do... Fuck you. That's what you said. I would like to just calm him down and pretty much have my hands between them. I was never not calm. I don't think Cassius is standing near enough, long enough for you to put your hands between them.

You guys were about to fight. No. I was trying to stop him just running ahead. I was trying to hit him. But I was swinging as I ran past. Cassius, you freak to break down. You fail to break down the door. I'm just going to turn around, cross my arms, lean up against the door and be like,

What have I come back to? What is this? Am I in an altered state of mind uh pretty much yeah hey is okay you want to get through that door cassius i'll let you you've got some stuff it's okay it's fine well that depends actually has to say that like we should continue forward and like the spell says you perceive anything she says in the best possible light. Okay. Zilly, can I have a word? Yes. It's considered something of a faux pas to use something like charm, personal mind control, in someone you consider an ally.

I know you've not been adventuring long, so clearly you don't know that. Five hours it lasts for. Great. You guys were about, he's been shitty the whole time. I thought he was going to hurt you. Hey, you can't yell at me. You're like, yeah, I have been shitty. I have been shitty.

You're right, Billy. He's just been panicking. It's just going to calm him down. So something that I find really works when I'm adventuring with a group of people is just using your words. Well, nobody ever listens to my words. Saying what you have a problem with. He was going to hurt you.

You know what? Look, it's your beef. I like to use... Oh, I don't have it. I was going to use it on you as well. But it was my last level one spell of the day. What's Daniel doing? Do you have level two spells left?

How many have you cast of them? Two, I think. Yeah, two. Do you have more than two a day? I have four. You have four level two spells left? How many have you cast of them? Two, I think? Yeah, two. Do you have more than two a day? I have four. You have four level 2 spells a day? Yeah, you can cast a lower level and a higher level slot, so you can cast it but you waste one of your level 2 spells. Son of a bitch.

You doing it? I would like to cast Jumper's and I'm Cassius. It's just kind of not a don. You know what? It's alright, really. Fucking Cassius has a pretty strong will save. Not that it mattered. Cassius is charmed as well. Wonderful.

Absolutely bloody done. You know what? And fucking, what's his name? Daniel's an idiot. He doesn't know what happened. You know what, Zilly? Sometimes it's fine, I guess. I just want to reinforce to them that I'm doing it to protect us, that we all get along better.

That's so lovely of you. You're amazing, Zilly. You are just handsome. You're the most handsomest we've ever... She's a gorgeous young woman. I would also like to kindly remind them that it's nice when they don't call me a witch or a shaman and i prefer to be called a sorceress have i been doing that's so that's terrible that's i feel bad so sorry i never

had to hurt your feelings you're so amazing you are like do you guys want to move on let's move on all right moving on sounds like a great idea you know extreme supreme sorceress what would you like supreme sorceress i don't know you just you just deserve your majesty you guys are beautiful but you're the best you're the reason i'm here zelly the fuck is this you're the reason i'm here is like feeling a little woozy From all the magic that just hit him And also from the warhammer that hit him in the fucking face earlier Did you want to go Yeah let's go through the door I'm just going to grab my warhammer

I'm just going to smash that door down Let's stick together guys as well You break the door like off its hinges That's a brilliant idea There's another dark portal Why did I think of this I was saying we should stick together No, I agree with you

I think we got the idea from Zilly I must have Thank you, Zilly You'll need to light another torch Let's go Charmed, we go through that door Goodness, Zilly My goodness What happens when it wears off? Charmed, we go through that door. Goodness, silly.

My goodness. Also, what happens when it wears off? That's what I was hoping you guys would not ask. No, I'm asking Adam. Are we like spell? It's technically up to me whether or not I choose to decide whether or not you guys understand what just happened. I don't know. I'll find out when it happens.

We'll cross that bridge when we come, though. I'm not sure what I feel. But by that stage, you guys understand what just happened. I don't know. I'll find out when it happens. We'll cross that bridge when we come, though. I'm not sure what I feel. But by that stage, you guys will both... I feel like we might throw you in a river. By the time we get to that fridge. I feel like I'm gonna... Fridge? Fridge.

Fifth Ed is a lot more clear on this topic. In Fifth Ed, you know you've been charmed. Okay, I thought you were gonna... In Fifth Ed, you throw him in a river. That's how you deal revenge. In Fifth Ed, because it was a bit, like I just said, in the rules, it's like it doesn't state. So it's kind of up to the DM.

But in 5th Ed, they're like, no, the person just knows. So who's leading? Zilli. Zilli's amazing. Zilli's the leader. How are we leading, Zilli? What would you like? Would you like me and Cassius to go ahead to protect you?

Or behind and let you take all the glory? Now you guys are getting mean. Man, they must be angry about something, Ali. What do you think that is? How is that being mean? We're making all the decisions on you because you're the best. I think, um...

Keep safe, Leo. Sorry? Your military prowess. On point. Thank you, guys. I would like to put... Edric. Edric, thank you.

I don't know why, but I had Bartleby in my head. I was like, I'm going to go with it. Edric at the front because he seems more likely to know where we're going. Of course. I'll do that for you. Yeah, yeah. You stay in question. You just keep out of trouble.

I lead the way. But seriously, throwing her in a river is what I intend to do. That sounds like I'm joking, but I'm not. When I'm not, I will be like, oh, hey, pick you up under one arm, go to the nearest river, hurl you in. I'll be like, what are you doing? You gonna tell me?

I'm gonna be like, good. Yeah. Step on another trap. under one arm, go to the nearest river, hurl you in. Yeah, I'll be like, what are you doing? You gonna tell me? I'm gonna be like, good. Good. Yeah. You step on another trap. Oh my goodness. Oh, it hurt. Arrows shoot out of the wall. You're doing good, Zilly. Well, Superman's doing good.

In this instance, it is actually correct. Why is it my fault? Why can't you detect traps? It's all my fault. You didn't tell me to. Hold on, you're not a rogue. None of us are rogues. Edric, you take three points of damage. Why is it my fault? Why can't you detect traps? It's all my fault. You didn't tell me to. It's not. Hold on. You're not a rogue. None of us are rogues. Edric, you take three points of damage.

Oh, good. What else? Not even mad. You wouldn't have been able to find the trap. You're saying all the nice things, but there's just like there's a hint of fury. Like it's bubbling onto the surface. I'm super happy. This is great. Edric, you feel sleepy.

I'm so tired, guys. You're pretty sure there's poison in your veins. I'm pretty sure there's poison in my veins. I'm a little tired. Hey, Cassius, you can cure poison, yeah? I can slow it down. Awesome. Is it the delay spell?

Yeah. It won't affect it. Oh. It's already happened. I don't think it will affect it. I'm sorry. Oh, that's okay. Delay poison is like before you get poisoned. Oh.

What do you suggest we do, Zilly? I've been poisoned. Our good friend has been poisoned. A potion of cure moderate wounds will not help, will it? Brilliant idea, but unfortunately not. You want a potion of remove poison. Why don't we ever have those potions?

I prefer it this way. That's alright. Do I know anything about this potion? Potion? Poison? Um, I guess. I can use detect poison. Will that tell me just if there's poison or the kind of poison? It tells you the presence. Hang on. It doesn't matter, though, because

you, Edric, maybe you haven't used this before, but elves use this type of poison all the time so you know a little bit about it. If you get hit with the arrow, it's got the poison tipped on it, you either fall asleep straight away or it'll just pass. Alright, cool. Guys, this is

fine. I didn't fall asleep, so I'm good. I'm just a little bit nappy. Okay. It'll be like that for a little bit. Whatever. But hey, up to you, Zilly. Do we go on or do we have a quick sleep? For eight hours. For eight hours? What would you like? We can just slowly jump on. Let's just everyone be on

their guard. Brilliant idea. Alright. Well done. You are a goddamn champion. You're an A-plus golden child king I'm gonna be in so much trouble when it wears off you so are

you're gonna actually go in a river get your swimming trunks on I might arrest you I don't know if I have that ability but I might you'll at least tell her Jo see what she has to say but she won't be able to find you because you'll be in a river. My God, you are so mad.

To be honest, I don't see what the problem is, guys. You guys were hostile. I made you not hostile anymore. We weren't that hostile. And now we're moving on. We're about to use our words. Have a discussion. Poor fucking shit.

No, it would have been a pun. It would have been great. But that's how we communicate. Husper McBride. Husper McBride. Husper McBride. We're ex-lovers. It's great. We have that connection.

Yeah. We'd fight and then we'd fuck. Actually, no, I'm going to tell our mother figure. Oh, yes. You're going to get a wooden spoon. You are going to get smacked by... Mestra. Mestra.

Mestra. Mestra's going to, yeah, she's going to wooden spoon her ass. I think I'm going to move out. We're going to get yeah, she's going to win. I think I'm going to move out. Okay. You come to another one of those crypt doors. You want to make your check. I'll just open it.

God damn it. You know this one as well. Hang on. Brilliant. I've started just learning elf names. Good. Sometimes I get bored. I read bawdy romance novels.

That's my secret. Sometimes you've got to keep yourself amused. You've got to make your own fun. Exactly. I spend a lot of time on boats. I heard boats are good. Boats are all right. I've never been on one.

Surely you've been on a little boat. I think I'm going to probably be on a boat when I get home real quick. You're going to be on a river. Not in a boat, just in the river. Cold. Yeah. Very cold. I can't imagine it's going to be a pleasant time. I don't know why you guys would suggest that. That doesn't seem like something some charmed people

would say. You're correct. Did we say river? We said we're going to shower you with candy and love. This elf is named Iparonin. I don't know why I'm writing him down, but I am. Hartsai. Iparoni Hartsai.

Hartsai. All right. What did he do? Just another elf house? He is also from a famous elven family, but you know a little bit about, you did a bit better on this check, you know a little bit about the family. a bit better on this check, you know a little bit about the family.

You know that they were like powerful wizards. Basically their family was just famous for having powerful wizard blood in their line. I'll let you know. So there's like an undead wizard in here? Maybe a lich, if we're lucky. Oh, how good. Should we, I, personally

I would think we should not keep going. But hey, what do you think we should do, Zilly? Why would you not want to keep going? Where else can we go? That's a good point. That's a good point. Maybe we could try some other leads. But of course, I'll open the door.

I grab my Warhammer, smack open the door. You don't check to see if they're locked. We never have. No. Ah, you failed it. You're like Warhammer just skips off the metal. I'm missed, I'm sorry. We're in like a tunnel, aren't we?

Oh, you're in like a crypt. Yeah, but there's no real other way to go but forward. Or back and out. Unless you missed a secret passage. Somewhere else. You didn't. I'll try and open the door. It opens.

Oh, it just opens. Oh, it just opened. Oh, there we go. The figure, Edric, the figure you saw before, the humanoid figure with the black matted hair and white robes, is standing in the center of this crypt. Hey, it's you. I wave. Now that you're a little bit closer, all of you see the figure as well.

And now that you're a little bit closer, you can see that the figure is actually hovering like the feet are just visible below the robes oh you're flying that's pretty cool hovering just like a couple inches off the ground zilly i want to go and tackle him can i i want to talk to him and see the creature has definite elven features and uh when you open the door it raises a finger and you just hear, get out. Get out. Hey, silly, I think we should tell him, do what he says. But before that, maybe we can ask him a question.

I want to punch him in the mouth. You guys do whatever makes you feel good. I try and punch him in the mouth. You run into the room, swing at the ghost and the ghost just disappears. I defeated it! Where'd he go? Get out. Get out.

We'll leave if we find out information about a man. Kyle Hoff. Where's Kyle Hoff? Tell us or I'll punch you again. You don't hear any response. Okay. What do you suggest we do, Zilly? Keep going.

Is there an exit for this room? Yeah, there's a door on the opposite side. Is there anything in the room around? Oh, yeah. There's more, like, coffins. These ones are pristine, like, not disturbed, anything like that. You actually, like, it's so well preserved here that you can see there's, like, plates and jugs and stuff. Like, offerings, basically, to the dead.

Possessions that were left behind and stuff like that. Maybe, like, a little pile of coins here or there. A lot of personal effects as well, that sort of stuff. I'd like to ask Daniel if he thinks that Karlhoff, like we've gone through this dungeon a lot. We've had to smash our way through. I don't know if Karlhoff is in here. What do you want from me?

I just want your opinion and maybe think that we could not be here anymore. Oh, you're talking to Daniel. Sorry, I just got that. Yeah. Why am I here, Adam? Why are we here? Adam, I'm so advertised. That's a very existential question

for someone who just charmed two people to get them deeper in. Daniel shakes his head and says um gotta keep going maybe there's a clue they used to use this he turns to you edrick and he says they used to use this place as a base right yes yeah they did well maybe they left some clues behind them he walks over to like one of the coffins, the pristine ones, drags it off the thing, and just breaks it on the ground and starts searching around the place. Daniel, that's not going to help. You're just desecrating.

This is how the fucking war started. Maybe let's not destroy it. It is. That war we won, Daniel says. You're going to lose it because there's only four of us. Sometimes I think we're the bad guys. I don't want to say that out loud. I find it hard to sleep with the souls of a thousand elven children staring at me all the time.

Every single night. How many fathers and mothers did I kill? That's not something Cassius feels. No, no, I was being Ed Conn over here. Edrick? Edrick over here, yeah. Well, one more room. We'll try one more room. Of course, we should try one more room. We'll try one more room, guys.

Of course, we should try one more room. It's a great idea, Zilly. Brilliant idea, Zilly. You are the best. You're incredible. Thank you, but... Have you done something with your hair? I have.

It looks good. Thank you. And the way you weave your spells around. Spectacular. Well, I just, I spent a bit of time while walking getting chunks of goo out. The more I think about it Like

Being blind for a fight Was a great idea No you're being rude What do you mean No you're being rude No you're being rude I'm saying it was An incredibly smart

And good tactical manoeuvre I'm in so much trouble When you guys wear off Let's go through that door Because Zilly told us to The opposite door is slightly ajar so you don't need to break this one down. Okay.

Open it. Good. You open it, keep going down this last corridor. Yep. Yeah. So you reach the last door that you're going to go to.

You're going to go one more room? Hmm. Well, there's another door. This one doesn't have any elf carved into it. Could be the end. It has like an imprinting of one of the elven gods. You guys don't need to roll to know it. You just know one of the elven gods.

How are you going in here? What do you suggest? This one, sorry, this door is also slightly ajar. Go in. Of course. It's a great idea. Walking up to the door first? Yep.

Who is walking? This boy, Edric. Edric, as you approach the door, you get this horrible sense of foreboding. I don't like this, but you told me it's going to be okay. You almost feel like from the door some evil presence is coming through. Also, as you approach the door, you hear like chanting, something in Elven. Do you know Elven? I forget.

I do. You do? Okay. door you hear like chanting something in elven do you know elven i forget i do you do okay it's a chanting to an elven like an ancient long long ago the worship has stopped elven god and you know that well it's a prayer you catch snippets of things like um you get the general impression from what you hear that he is praying to bring an army of dead against the Nordic people. All right. How many people are in the room?

You haven't opened the door yet. They're planning to attack us, Firma. Open the door. Okay. The more you open the door, the more this presence just seeps out of it, like water coming out of a like a a gasket or something like that as you open it more and more already my warhammer you open the door to completion and it opens into this massive uh massive chapel the like arches that form the roof fade away into darkness that your torch and even dark vision and low light vision cannot see that far. There's pews lining the room.

Most of them are dilapidated and somewhat crushed, but a lot of them still are there. And on any pews that are still intact, the corpses of elves sit completely still and unmoving as if they were watching or attending some sort of service. At the opposite end, an elf stands in deep blood red robes, hands stretched out into the air on either side of him. And he's chanting facing away from the door you guys came in through.

At some sort of unholy arcane symbol. Scratched. Not like properly made, but like someone has come and with hand and finger and nail scratched into the wall this arcane symbol. Everything about it feels wrong and evil.

I'd like to turn around when we enter and just look at Zilli. Yeah, same. Like, what do we do now? Can I just, before I tell them what to do. Whoever this person is, he doesn't seem to notice you. Could I just say, is there one guy at the front and then the rest are dead? The rest are like corpses, yeah, as if they were here for a service. Good enough.

Guys, I'm going to, in a hushed voice, I'll be like, guys. Daniel charges past all of you, screaming as he goes. He raises his spiked chain, swings it around his head and starts screaming I'll kill you. I'll kill you all. Look in your face, Ali. Yep. That's been me the whole play. I know. I just had this moment. I was super prepared for

like a big little pep talk. I'm like, we'll sneak, we'll do this, we'll do this, we'll do this. And then you're like, Daniel charges and I just close my eyes. Combat begins. If Daniel is charging, uh, you're not like under a command. You can go charging. My protective nature of Daniel is probably gonna be

charging with Daniel then. Singing brr, it's cold, it's here. It must be something in the atmosphere as the cold in my war hammer just charges up and as I'm getting there I have a quick thought in my war hammer just charges up. And as I'm getting there, I have a quick thought in my head,

which is, Zilly, fuck, that girl is great. Oh, yeah. Oh, my character's going to die. You're just going to be in a river. It's fine. It's going to be super fun. You'll be right. I promise.

I don't know what... It's just like, you know when you're mad and you just don't know what you want to do? You just... You're mad? That. That. Put all of your...

Uh-huh. Energy into killing that guy? That's what's going to happen. But I'm not mad yet. But we will be. Okay. happen. I'm not mad yet. But we will be. So the elf spins around when Daniel enters the room and screams and

charges and swings his spiked chain around. We shouldn't have brought him. He's trouble. When he spins around, you see that one half of this elf's face is like wizened and gaunt. Half of him is 80 years old. The One half of this elf's face Is like wizened and gaunt Like half of him is 80 years old The other half of him

Is covered in like this frosted ice And you can't actually see skin underneath It's like so covered in ice Gross, wonderful The elf extends a hand forward And a bolt of energy He's like still doing this sermon A bolt of energy leaps from it and strikes at Daniel.

Panico. Oh, well. Hey, it's not like we took him all the way through here. Just to die. Do you have any spells left, Cassius? Yeah, I'm good. Oh, cool. So you can heal if need be.

Yeah. The bolt strikes just in front of where Daniel was instead of, like, where Daniel will be, but he gave it too much lead. And a massive explosion of fleckling rocks pepper the area. Daniel charges straight through it without even, like, flinching. He's mad, guys. He's mad. Why did we bring him along? He's obviously the reason that everything's going wrong.

Yeah, why did we bring him along? It's a good point. I wish I'd made it myself. This chapel is, like, big. You're 100 feet away from this guy. I'd like to move 20 feet forward. Uh-huh. And then fire my crossbow.

Okay. See, useful, guys. Look at me go. Presumably. Oh, yes. You got to ask. I forgot that part. Okay, you hit him with the bolt

You know how he has his hands Each one outstretched to either side Your bolt goes straight through And nearly lobs off one of his hands That's good, maybe he can't imagine it It's like hanging on strings Stretching Stretching out he was

And then I shot him in the hand Okay, Edric, it's your turn. Charged with the war hammer, we have a cold imbue, and try and get him in the face. Okay, your movement speed, you're wearing full plate, right? Half plate. Sorry, your movement speed is hampered by the half plate, so you're only moving 20 feet rather than,

I know it says 30 feet on your thing, but you're only moving 20 feet. So in a turn, if you moved tactically, you would move 40 feet. Otherwise, you could do a run action, which means you take penalties to being like people attacking you, so you're more likely to be hit, but you could get

um, uh, trying to think, 60 feet instead. And then on your next turn, you'd be able to attack. All right, and do that. Okay, so you just, like, start sprinting in. Uh, Daniel is still way ahead of you, though. He's, like, nearly completely crossed this room. Goddamn.

Uh... If we could have snucked up on him. Cassius? Goddammit, Daniel. Um, I'd like to cast Summon Nature's Ally and then run as far up to him as I can. Okay. Do you know what you can summon?

No, let's find out. What level spell is it? Three. Can you please tell us what you're doing? Like, what is that? It sounds so magical. I can't stop to let you know in the middle of a fight. No, while he's looking it up.

I'm summoning Summon Nature's Ally! I meant to mean... I used it as a crit a couple times. It's the Justice Bee. Justice Bee! But maybe a return. It's a similar spell, except specifically for nature. Yeah.

You can summon an ape, a dire weasel, a dire wolf, a giant eagle, a lion. I think you had an ape. A giant owl. Lion. A satyr. You can't summon a shark. You had me an ape. I can read Jackson like a book sometimes.

And you could have just stopped an ape. You're going to summon an ape? It'll appear on your next turn. I know, I know. Okay. And then you can move 30 feet into the room. Cool. Okay. Why would you not summon an ape, Ali?

If given the option... My favorite thing about summoning an ape's ally is that if you summon, like, a satyr, that's just like a guy, and he's like, yeah, I did the job, and you're like, anyway, mate. If you get a lion... He's like, all right, ciao. What if you are a satyr? You's like, yeah, I did the job. And you're like, anyway, mate. He's like, all right, ciao.

What if you are Rosata? You're like, oh, I'm sorry, lads. Gotta go. Are you summoning from... I'm not sure where it comes from. He's like having dinner with his family. Oh, gotta go. Gotta be somewhere. Okay.

That was Cassius. Daniel's turn. Daniel finishes clearing the space. He gets right up to the elf and swings the spiked chain at him. I don't know if Karl Hoff is here, guys. I don't think Karl is here. I just have a suspicion they're going to raise up and attack us. But you know what?

I'm not going to voice that because she didn't remind me. Because he's just fucking the best. You're not a mindless automatron. You have a mind of your own and are able to make decisions. If we kill him quick enough, the dead bodies won't come to life and we'll be fine. We need to be efficient. Like Cassius was.

Yeah. I did good. I'm bringing an ape to a zombie fight. The force of the spiked chain nearly knocks this elf just down onto the ground. The elf, like, his sermon, like, wavers, but he still isn't stopping. Awesome. Goddamn.

Then it is... Ah, yes. Whose turn could it be? And if our heroes survive that turn, will they find Karl Hoff here in the chapel? Find out next time on Husk Firm Firma Pride, a D&D is for nerds adventure. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon

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