D&D is For Nerds - Hus Firma Pride #9 The Big City

Episode Date: November 19, 2016

Hus Firma PrideIn which our heroes go paladin hunting. We gather provisions, has a potato eating competition and put out the word that we want to fight. Cassius has the skills but not the potions, Zillie really wants to have party funds and Edrik talks about the tactics of magic. So join us as we buy some dead men's horses. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Look at that guys, we got through the last room, we killed the zombie elf guy. From the pages you get it's like some old elven god, long disused. This man was driven insane by the loss. The last correspondence was him trading Karl Hoff off to Pabonet. Your characters do not know what happened. I'm mad. Are you? Yeah.

Are you? You get back into town, and as soon as you get back into Lor MacCain, it becomes very quickly apparent that something has gone wrong while you guys were away. Strower, like, dark elves who live beneath the earth. How'd the wolf problem go, by the by? As an aside. It's not dead.

We haven't had time. Between you guys and the... She's so tall. Evakoa is a druid. And he has like an enclave of druids that surround him and protect him. You know precious little about him. Not many people like talking about Drow. And just like challenge them to fair combat.

And they've been doing pretty well against that. Those are our options. Those are the three, unless you wanted to track down the possibly, yeah, the possibly cold tracks of Pabonet. Can we go off to Mystra and see if she's got any potions? We rejoin our heroes in the wreckage of their town looking for Mystra. Mystra's set up in like basically just the next biggest house she could find and she's uh cleared away this massive section of the house and there's just all these

like makeshift stretches and beds and cots and there are people who are either suffering burn wounds or there's a lot of poison victims here drow like to use poison a lot of that as well she's just tending to the wounded and lame and stuff like that. Fair number of the burned victims are children. Survivors from her house when it burnt up. I feel like Adam doesn't want us to deal with the paladin.

No, go ahead. I'm just saying this is just how it is. She's the one healer in town. She has to handle this. Now we're the not the bad guys. All right. Okay. Yeah.

That's going to be a fun fight. I would like to speak to Mistra and ask if we can procure some potions. Maybe some cure light wounds. She looks at you. She looks over all the wounded and sick and injured. What are you doing? No, no. Shut the fuck up. She shakes her head. I looks over all the wounded and sick and injured. What are you doing? No, no, shut the fuck up. She shakes her head.

I'm sorry. Where do we get them, though? Can she tell us where we can get them? She shakes her head. Can she tell me how to make them? Your friend Cassius already has the skills. Cassius has the skills and we didn't know? Not to make the potions, but to heal people, yes.

Oh. Oh. So how much is a gold going to buy me of rations? A gold will buy you two days. Okay. That's enough. We're good. I'll spend ten gold.

Okay. You're getting a lot of rations. Twenty days of rations. I'm done. You'll need a separate backpack for that. Awesome. I'd like to buy five. No, like 20 communally.

We'll share them, alright. My rate, uh, okay. You can halve travel time if you buy horses as well. Do they have horses? Yeah. Hey, some just recently came for sale. Their owners don't need them anymore Dead man's horses Let's buy some dead man's horses

It's 75 gold for a horse Done Let's find out I do, do we? Well, everyone lose 75 gold and you got yourself a horse Do we want a party fun? Nope Why not? I was so good at it last time

We never went broke. That's true. Individual people went broke but the group never went broke. I'd like to name it. Fine. I believe it's pre-owned. It would come with a name. What's Adam's name? No, don't let him know.

Five. That's your one, Cassius. Ainsley, your one's name is Five as one And Edric, your one's name is Three Five, five and three

Five, one, five, two and three You say five and both horses come No, I wouldn't Which is confusing because one of them is three. This guy had five horses, right? One of them left and he's like that's sad, he bought another horse, named it five and then his original horse came back.

That's how he's got I figured it out. I figured out your riddle out. You get the gold, Jackson. Yes. And can we buy some potions of Cure Poison? Mistra is the only person who would sell such potions. She's out.

Adam hates us. Maybe we... He doesn't hate you. No, she doesn't. Adam does. No, Adam does. Adam does. Oh, Adam does.

Believe me. Adam's mad at you still from trying to buy that coat. But we bought it, and that's important. I'm just going to say, if you don't need anything else, let's chuff off to get this fucking pally. Yep. Okay, so on horses, it only takes you one day. What color is my horse?

Your horse is? Blue. If you say seven, oh. Red. The dice is red. No, I don't know, chestnut? All right, I'll Red. The dice is red. No, I don't know. Chestnut? All right, I'll write that down.

All right. On the way, I like to imagine that I'm just glancing at Daniel, still trying to figure it out because I thought I'd know after that would venture, but we didn't find Karl Hoff. And during that ride, I'm going to be telling Daniel, so Daniel, what happened back in the crypts where you kind of just blacked out a little? Is that what he did?

Did he black out? Does he go into rage? He went into a bit of a non-responsive rage. Yeah, he should have really told us that he was alive, even if it was just by grunts. Yeah. Hey, Daniel, what's that about? Hmm? Like in the battle, you sort of lost the ability to communicate.

I was mad. Yeah. You can't control that, can you? I find I don't try to. It helps me in a fight. We can't get a safe word for you. Because, again, it's quite hard to... You do you, Daniel.

Let's go. He nods. He seems pleased with himself. He will do. Do I remember anything else, Adam? You do you, Daniel. Let's go. He nods. He seems pleased with himself. He will do. Like, I fucked you. Do I remember anything else, Adam? Probably at some point, like, when you're riding, you're, like, giving Daniel, like, furtive glances.

He looks over to you. He sees what you're doing, and then he's... And then he says... And then he says, rowboat. What? I like to think he's like rowboat and I'm like I'm gonna fall off my horse That means none to you

Rowboat, roses Rowboat, boats and roses Or just like stop the boat as everybody I mean the horse as everybody moves on without me Rowboat There is like a large enough body of water Near Lor MacCain that people Rowboat

And could throw people in rivers. Robots! Look back at you and shrug. When he sees that you don't recognise what that means, he shakes his head. What the hell is going on? He loves a little bit of a cryptic puzzle, doesn't he? Well, he wants me to help him out.

He's got to keep some cards close to his chest. Feed him your breadcrumbs so you help. God damn it, Daniel. Okay, so after a day you see the massive stone walls of Lockfort. Partially, um... You okay there?

Yep. What are you doing? Making notes on things. In my sheets? Yeah. Anyway, go on. Partially obscuring the city. None of you, except, I would imagine, Edric, understand the true extent of what the war did to the city.

Nothing. The war did nothing to the city. Once again, the elves were wiped out almost completely without fight. Hustle for my pride. I like to think as I ride past you, patch in the back, you're like, hustle for my pride. Hustle for my pride. We killed our kids, though. Hustle for my pride. Hustle for my pride.

Mm-hmm. We killed our kids, though. Hustle for my pride. Hustle for my pride. Hey, it's war. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Freeing slaves.

That one. Sometimes. That one. Liberating a country. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes just for goofs. Sometimes just for yucks.

Okay. Oh, I see. Ali's writing down Daniel clues for me. Well, that's sweet. What was the second one? It was boats, wasn't it? It was rowboat. Rowboat.

Rowboats. Roses. Something else. I thought it was boats and then it became rowboat. No, it was rowboat. Roses, rowboat. You remember music? Yeah.

Loop music? I believe it was, yes. fuck what the fuck i love the i'm thinking like maybe you guys have like a romantic night but i'm hoping it's just not that at all yeah you punched his bride-to-be and also like the night before You two were salty at each other What the fuck Okay So you get to Lockfort

Are you just going to trip on in? Yeah So that's controlled by Nords Lockfort belongs to the Nords He's a Huskerman pride What's the other one? Huskera Huskera Huskera pride. What's the other one? Huskera. Huskera.

Huskera? No, I'm a bit more worldly. There's a big main street that you guys are traveling down, and the big main street ends in a massive courtyard near the center of the town. And in the courtyard, there's all these market stalls set up, and there's a massive statue to the pantheon of gods that you worship. Cool. Thanks. Good to be here.

You're welcome. There's a bunch of taverns around here if you want to, like, it's kind of late in the day when you arrive, so you might want to, like, stay the night here and then start tomorrow. Do you want to say? Please, no. First thing, can we buy some potions of curing poison here? Yes, please

Because that seems like, I feel just, I have an inkling In the back of my head That we're gonna need that Hi, so Lowe's, Zilli Lowe's Lowe's? Yes Nope, no one here selling that

Selling anything? Yeah, but no magical goods What about We want to draw up a picture We want to say, hey, we're ready for a fight It's on anything? Yeah, but no magical goods. What about... We want to draw my pictures. We want to say, hey, we're ready for a fight. What about if we each go into one tavern? Is there like at least three taverns in this courtyard? There's a lot more than three, to be honest.

So yeah, but at least... You're not going to go into a tavern and find out about this guy. Elves are not welcome in this city. Yeah, but there's a war. What are we doing in this city, then? We stop here overnight city then we stop here overnight then we keep traveling on correct yeah just like uh around the outskirts of lock fort you'll find this guy like on one of the roads maybe just ready to ambush or not really

but don't we have to spread the word that we want to fight him yeah if you spread it out to like the merchants coming through yeah right yeah all right we'll do that then okay so some of the merchants been like hey do you have any potions of cure poison? Like, no. And like, okay, well, by the way, do you see that fucking Alpina? That dirty little... That's a chick.

Alnipa. Alnipa. Alnipa. To wreck her day. Hey, nice gems that you're selling, but what's more interesting is that I'm going to fuck up Alnipa's day. So we can just spread the word that Cassius Christi is going to beat the ever-loving shit out of Elnipa with her bare fists. That'd be swell.

Literally bare. It takes four hours just to spread or seed the word throughout the town. But you feel pretty confident that you've done a good job by the end of it. And then it's probably pushing 11 o'clock at that point. You might want to go to sleep. Yeah, right. Let's find a tavern and bunk down for the night. Bunk down for the night.

There's plenty of... There's a lot of good feelings in the air. A lot of people are very proud to be Nordic right now. Oh, that's good. That's nice. That's, you know... Because, you know, we're going to fuck up that elf. There's a very comfy's, you know. Because, you know, we're going to fuck up that elf. There's like a very comfy looking tavern.

You step inside and there's like several elven helmets mounted on a mantelpiece. Are the heads still in them? No, but there's like a little blood around them. That didn't get washed off. White people are so dirty. Why would you wash it off? Why would you? You wouldn't want to.

That wasn't a person that probably had hopes and dreams at all. At all. It's two gold per night for each of you. Done. Deal. I miss party funds. You're not getting a party fund. Just charm them.

No. I just think it's nice, you know? It's like we're a group now. Don't you guys think it's nice, you know? It's like we're a group now. Don't you guys think it's nice? Charm, personally. It's great. It's the best thing in the world. Zilli, I'm surprised I didn't think of it.

What a great idea. I'm happy to give. I just feel like Party Funds makes sure that none of us can leave at the end of the day. I don't want any of you to escape. Yeah, it's like, you guys can't leave me. I have all your money. What's the kind of class of tavern we're in?

It's super nice. Yeah? So we're getting like the, not wealthy people, but like, you know. Merchants, lots of merchants. Oh, okay. I want to say super nice as well. I don't mean like super fancy. I mean like you get ale and it's like

fucking stellar ale you get like meal meals and it's like the potatoes have been like cooked in alcohol or something like that and i've got this amazing smell about them eat hardly drink hardly and flirt hardly you came to the right place for that i'm gonna speak to some of the merchants to see if anyone has any dealings with drow, knows anything about the Underdark, just to try and get some intel out. Not like being like, yeah, Underdark. You meet a couple of merchants who on the road

were approached by this group of Elven paladins. And it was basically like, all of the merchants you talk to about this have the same story. The Elven paladins stop their caravan, check to see if there's any of age, might look to be warriors, Nordic people. And if there isn't, they let them go.

And if there is, they challenge them to a fight and pretty much always win. Okay. What do we know about Paladins? Well, you know Paladins are holy warriors. They're given agency by their god to do the god's will on earth unlike a cleric a cleric is more of a not necessarily a book smart but someone who might live in a church or a chapel or something like that and people come to them

they heal them they're more of a like a defensive character paladin's like i'm gonna go out into the world and i'm gonna do my god's will okay During this night, I want to have a chat with Zili. This is in terms about spell use. And I'm going to call her a sorcerer. Oh. Sorceress. Sorceress. Yeah, not going to do it.

I don't know if it's gender specific. Like for some reason you remember that. I was going to. And just start talking to you about maybe proper use and maybe tactics. I feel like this is influencing you to not charm him again. And I, for one, find this disgusting. Charm him right now.

I want to challenge the fattest guy in the tavern to a potato eating competition. It's not about not charming me because I'm thinking you're growing as a person. I would like to... Hold on, we'll wait for the potato eating and then we'll do it. The more potato eating happening. Nah, the fattest guy in the tavern is pretty full. Second fattest guy? Lose.

You're in a potato eating contest. Loser has to pay for all of the potatoes. Deal. Done. You got a done deal, mate. Oh, it's so starchy. Let's go. Everybody bet on me because I'm going to win this one.

I like to bet five gold. I can put them away like the best of them. I'd like to bet five gold against hopefully someone who will pay me five gold. Because I'm like, who am I betting with? Adam, will someone take my bet? Give me a sec. Adam's got to figure out potato stats. There are several layers of stupidity to this fucking shit.

He's like, oh, I've got to confer this sheet, this tome that I've got. Adam's kind of all I have to take out the D&D Elder Scrolls. Okay, sorry, Ali, Zilli, what did you say? I would like to put bets on Cassie's Christy's behalf, as in I would like to bet to her, and hoping that someone in the thing will bet with me and bet on the other guy. So you're hoping somebody will start taking bets.

Yeah, pretty much. Most people understand that Cassius, as a dwarf, and also as an experienced-looking adventurer, probably is going to win this. She eats a lot of potatoes. So no one's taking... She could pack a couple of potatoes. There are people who are betting,

but a lot of bets are favoring Cassius. right no you might lose out on this yeah sorry true but on the other guy i'll take a dive you have to pay for all the potatoes so well that's we'll just win that money all right well if there's anyone in the club that would like to bet against the potato guy there are a a couple, but not enough. You can spread rumors that I'm not good at eating potatoes. Are you going to wait long enough for that to happen, Cass? No, no, no. The potato eating contest begins.

I am shuffling them in. I was going to make this my second source of income, guys. Potato swindler. What? What happened? Like, ten potatoes in, you chuck. Oh! Oh! swing lock what what happened like 10 potatoes in you chuck oh oh you're like uh the fat guy like goes past 15 just to like show you oh yeah you're so good at eating potatoes well done to you fucking i'll throw'll throw the coin on the table.

Hooray. The second fattest guy in the tavern. I'm going to say at the end of the day, Cassius, this little stunt has cost you two gold. Oh, that's fine. That's not a problem. I'll just shake my head at you, Cassius. You've changed.

Come. Ainsley? Have you, Cassius. You've changed. Come. Ainsley? Have you changed? Jesus, sorry. Zilly, you earn five gold. Yes! Aha! I'm going to write that down.

God damn it. I'm so sorry. Talk to you, Zilly. I would like to, before I get in trouble, before I get in trouble, what I was planning to do is to speak to you guys about tactics and be like, all right, guys, this is the thing. We're a little bit half-cooked when we went into the dungeon.

The look on Jackson's face is like, I'm not paying attention. Cassius isn't. Cassius is sitting in the booth at the table being like, could I not eat 10 potatoes? That's what I'm saying. 10 potatoes is enough. Yeah, yeah. 10 potatoes. 10 potatoes, could I not eat ten potatoes? That's what I'm saying. Ten potatoes is enough. Yeah, yeah. Ten potatoes. Ten potatoes is, I could eat ten potatoes for breakfast.

I'd like to talk military tactics. Ten potatoes. Yeah. Yeah, like, Zilly, I understand you've got some stuff, but maybe blinding us wasn't the best maneuver, and did you web us? I mean, there's no way to confirm it, but maybe. What was your thought there?

I mean, because Daniel was just covered in web. Yep. Well, see, here's the thing. We were blinded by some very effective pyrotechnics, and then I thought if we web, then I could stop the ghouls and we could just wait until we recovered. I knew it would be short term. Did you tell us this?

Well, yes. That would have been a good thing to let us know. Also, I've recently found out that Daniel, I think when we start fighting, just doesn't listen. That was scary. Again, that fugue state, which is not great for me. Anywho. I've heard some things.

So I think everyone just needs to really pick up their communication. Do you guys think less of me because I couldn't eat more than 10 potatoes? Not at all Cassie Daniel nods I do Shoot him like a look like you son of a bitch I could have beaten that I'll challenge you to a potatoing competition After you just lost one?

Yeah Okay Don't you call me out Daniel I would like to leave the conversation Daniel loser pays yeah yeah loser pays

get ready to pay Daniel oh my goodness silly let's just go up and we're gonna go up in our we're gonna go have a conversation

talk military tactics I'll tell you some stuff about magic let me a little bit sorceress yeah because I'm a little bit like what is this

what you lose again. You get maybe, oh, geez. You get like 20 potatoes down. But it happens again. I can barely eat like a half a potato sometimes. You lose four gold now, I guess. What is wrong with you, Cassius?

There's not going to be a mirror in the bathroom. Fill up some water. Look in the reflection. Look and be like, who are you, Cassius? Who are you? You fill up a little bowl of water, a bowl full of water, and there's just potato chunks from where you were chucking. Comb out your beard.

Cassius, I remember when I was a spring chicken, I could eat 50 potatoes. Daniel leans back, he looks super sick, but he won, and he's got a smile on his face. I'd like to give him a low high five, like under the table, just be like, good job, man. Yeah.

Stomp up to bed full of fury. And potatoes. And fuck, I feel sick. God damn it. So at the end of the conversation, well, I'm hoping that myself and Edric are like, you know, I've taught him a little bit about my magic and I've learned some military tactics and stuff, like good ways to flank.

I don't know how to flank. Not blind us, hopefully. That is a good thing. Maybe we'll have a code word for web. Maybe just know what you're supposed to do. Just say web. Look. Yeah.

That's what pyrotechnics does now, isn't it? That's fair enough. I do. Funks with your party. Yeah, anyway. Maybe it's bedtime. Have an angry sleep. Have a good night.

Have a good sleep. Have a good old sleep. I had to think Mr. Fist was also mocking you. How's Wesley going? How's he feeling about everything? I'd like to talk to my animal. He just curls around your neck, I guess. I don't know what he does. How much does he love me?

I'd like to get all of my sense of self-worth from my weasel. I don't even know. Roll for me. Don't roll for me. He could hate me. It'll be super sad. I'll roll and I won't tell you. Roll for me. Don't roll for me. You could hate me. I'll be super sad. I'll roll and I won't tell you. No.

No. Adam. He's giving me a look and I don't know what I mean. It could be anything. I know. I know. Anyway, we'll have a bit of a sleep and get up first light. Sure.

Literally eight hours later. Yeah. Okay. On the dot. Spring upright. All adventurers in D&D have that amazing ability. Just sleep for exactly eight hours. We do.

No alarm clock, but somehow we know. No one's sure how. I think that you two have an alarm clock of an animal. An animal? What? I guess Mr. Fist, it's his daytime. He's like, I'm going to sleep now. I'm so tired.

Mr. Fist, when you go to sleep, wake me up. Yeah, I was just about to say, that's probably what happens. Cute Mr. Fist being like, tap, tap, tap on my face. And I'm like, what's going on? Who's fighting me? Oh, it's just Mr. Fist. Okay, let's get up. All right, let's get up.

Okay, you wake up, which is always super good. That's always a fucking plus. Just a good time. What's the plan beyond that? Well, I guess we'll chuff on downstairs. Yeah, chuff on downstairs. Did we learn anything about Elnipa and being like, she just is outside the gates and stuff like that?

Yeah, we spread word. I'm assuming if we go out- She's not like just outside the gates. It's like on the road. On the road. So let's just- Did we give a date? Like, did we give a-

No, we're just gonna fuck her up. Rumble in the snow. Yeah. Rumble in the snow. Yeah. Rumble in the snow. Yeah, so let's go and... You have to do the weigh-in first. Yeah, let's just go out into the road. And search for her?

And just go along the road. Yeah, all right. Maybe see some merchants. Maybe try and see if we can get some of them sneaky... You probably try to hitch up with a merchant caravan that's on its way out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then again, see if there's any sort of them sneaky. You probably try to hitch up with a merchant caravan that's on its way out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then again, see if there's any sort of potions of poison.

All right. Come on, man. We've got gold. We need this. Highs or lows? One of you. Highs. Highs.

Highs it is. Yep, they do. Yes. Thank God. Good. How much are they? 400 gold. Oh, never mind. Don't worry about it then. Thank God. Good. How much are they? 400 gold. Oh, never mind.

Don't worry about it then. We'll be good. I'm like poison immune, I'm pretty sure. I'm fairly sure I can't die. What type of potions are you looking for specifically? Just the cure poison ones. Cure poison. Like an antidote.

Does no such potion exist? Not in Adam's world. Does no such potion exist? Not an atom. Like, you could get a... There's no, like, cure poison, I don't think, potion. There's an antidote potion. Just the one if I'm poisoned, I'll be like, oh, fuck, drink, drink, drink, no, no, no, no, no.

Does such a potion exist? There are things that come close. You could get, like, somethingesser Restoration as a potion. Yeah, all right. Deal. That'll set you back. Sorry. It's all right.

What's Ali drawing? I'm drawing my spells. Looks like a ghost smoke and a doobie. No, the ghost is saying I'm a ghost and I have a sound because that's my spell, ghost sound. That's my little arcane mark. I don't know what's going on with that. I'm giving myself little spells. No, that's my spell, ghost sound. That's my little arcane mark. I don't know what's going on with that. I'm giving myself little spells.

No, that's good because then you can give yourself some visual reminders of what you can do. Yes, yeah, yeah. I had to write them down like on a separate piece of paper because I got confused all the time. Jackson was saying you've got like the silent spell and that kind of stuff. Yeah, have you seen this shit? I'm sure Adam explained it to you, but you may have forgotten.

That's true. I have written notes as well. So pyrotechnics, not very helpful. So see how you have silent spell, still spell, and impale spell. You can use them, I don't know how often, you'll have to ask Adam.

Silent spell means that you can curse a spell without anybody knowing. Oh. I don't know what still spell does. Like charm. Still spell means you don't need to do magical arcane hand gestures. Yeah.

So if someone's, like, looking at your hands or, like, you know, paying attention to your body language, you'd still have to say the words. Silent spell, you don't have to say the words. So I either have to do the hand movements or say the words. I can't just be like, I'm doing magic. I think under the ones, like, I marked how many. One level, two level? Yeah.

So you know how you have first level spells, zero level spells, second level spells, that sort of stuff? Mm-hmm. What I've marked there is a silent first level spell. What does it say? Is it one level there? Yes. Yeah. So, a silent first level spell actually counts as one of your second level spells.

Does that make sense? Oh, okay. Yeah. And then there's one, I don't know, one of them says, like. Does that make sense? Oh, okay. And then there's one, I don't know, one of them says like two levels, right? Yeah. So a zero level empowered spell counts as a second level spell. An empower spell means it doubled the damage or something?

Empower, it doesn't double the damage, but it increases effects by 50%. Oh, that's rad. That sounds pretty damn good. There are other more powerful ones, like Maximize Spell, Extend Spell, that sort of stuff. And you'll be able to get them at later levels. I think Maximize requires, like, four levels.

So probably for later. If we get that far. And you can just do those on the fly. Oh, okay. Does she get a certain amount a day? She can do it unlimitedly, so long as she still has the spells for it. Once you run out of second level spells. You're out of body luck, mate.

So yeah, you can get lesser restoration as a potion. And that potion, it doesn't necessarily, it's not guaranteed to cure poison, but it can lessen its effects greatly. Like, you know, the ability damage it does lessens that. How much are they? They're 300 a potion. What? Never mind. Let's kiss Jeff off to kill this paladin.

I got 452 gold. Whatever. You can buy one if you want. No, I'm fine. Potions are expensive, indy, indy. No kidding. We don't need potions are expensive. Indy, Indy. No kidding. We don't need potions. Wow.

It's like an antidote for a poison thing. Just like willy-nilly. They're cheap yet? Nah. No, no. Don't be foolish. Therefore, rich adventuring folk, which we are not. Which we will be one day.

Maybe. Maybe. Well, hopefully if you kill this cleric like the cleric not cleric sorry this paladin paladin you might be able to loot some stuff off them paladins are often equipped

with magical items got a little magic bone on you have to sell those for a Thai prophet Thai prophet

Thai D no a Thai prophet like a prophet of a religion who's from Thailand yes exciting we'll carry on with the merchants whatever okay No, a Thai prophet. Like a prophet of a religion who's from Thailand. Yes. Exciting. We'll carry on with the merchants.

Whatever. Okay. Hope that they... Hope we get this Taiwanese prophet. What's her name? Colindro? That's from Taiwan. El Nippa.

El Nippa. Why am I remembering this? I'm never remembering anything. I know. Well, you've got a whole new character. You've got a whole new brain. That's true. El Nippa.

El Nippa. Hizalos. Not you. You've got a whole new brain. That's true. Elnipper. Elnipper. How's the lows? Not you. You've already done one. Someone else. Lows. Lows? Yeah.

Okay. So you're traveling for like maybe three days with this caravan. Oh, God. And nothing happens. You're like properly in elven territory now. You've left snow almost and you're entered trees. You think you maybe missed the opportunity. Let's go back then. Well, get off and wait for another

merchant caravan, catch it back the way we came. Mark off three days' rations. Oh, God. You do. You've got the party rations. You can catch a... There's like lots of merchants coming and going now that the war's done. You can catch a merchant going the other way, yeah? Yeah. Cool. Lows way, yeah? Yeah. Cool.

Lows. Lows? Yeah. You get back to Lockfort unscathed. This is why we should have gone to Drow! It's in one place! That's another three days' rations. Mark them off.

Adam, you make me... Adam makes us sad on a much bigger level. Now that you get to Lockport, though, you can try spreading rumours again. Okay. Good. I'm just going to buy more rations. Fuck it. Sorry, sometimes D&D is boring.

Now I feel so... Ah, whatever. No, I find it funny. I think it's good. I like it. I'm going to spend another Whatever. I like it. I'mma spend... another ten gold on revisions. I'll say that you, um,

like, before you set out with another merchant caravan, you're gonna spend the night, like, seeding rumors again. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'll give it another hot go. We should set a date, this is what I said.

Behind the bike shed after school. If you want, you might just want to, like, keep... Like, do... Actually, not even joking, do... Not the bike shed after school, but, like, what he said, like, a specific time, a specific date. Give yourself, like, a week and just keep, like, giving rumours to these merchants as they come through. Alright, let's do that. Where's, like, a good place nearby the city?

Like, is it, it like a good hill? You can just do it from like inn to inn to inn to tavern to inn. No, I mean like to set where to have a fight. Town square? What sort of terrain do you want for a fight? You're not gonna get them in town. I just want a nice looking place. Just whatever, on the fucking road, whatever, who cares?

Just like a random, like you get a map put a pin in it and that's there good good crossroads wherever somewhat easy whatever wherever there's been fighting before wherever they thought people before there okay there on the battlefield will our heroes ever find the elven paladin find out next time on husk firmer pride a dnd is for Nerds adventure. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account?

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