D&D is For Nerds - Into the Island Jungle of Dendar #1 The Titanic

Episode Date: November 10, 2018

Where we get to know the different characters (and animals) of the ship.Sign up to our newsletter here; http://eepurl.com/cM3in9Join our facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/Watch us stream here; https://www.twitch.tv/sanspantsradioYou can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Reservoir East, Victoria, 3073Give the gift of Sanspants! https://sanspantsplus.com/give-the-gift-of-sanspants/Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: https://sanspantsplus.comPodkeep: https://sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: https://audiobooksontape.comMerch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter:  https://twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: http://www.sanspantsradio.comFacebook: https://facebook.com/SanspantsRadioReddit: https://reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Adam: https://twitter.com/RetroArchetypeCass: https://twitter.com/JacksonBBalyTom: https://twitter.com/AwkwardTreedShanks: https://twitter.com/timtimfedJackson: https://twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadCass: https://twitter.com/JacksonBBalyZammit: https://twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SANSPANS RADIO. No shirt, as well as joining the stage to play some D&D. To grab your tickets, just head to santspantsradio.com slash live. And in some less live show news, myself, Jackson, and good friend of the show, Joel Dusha, have started up yet another podcast, this time about all things video games. So if you want to hear our opinions on new releases, indie darlings, and retro games, just search for Thumbcramps on iTunes, Stitcher or directly from our website, sanspantsradio.com.

Welcome to episode one of Into the Jungle Island of Dendar, a D&D is for Nerds adventure. the three of you are all aboard or stepping aboard a giant ship you're in a city known as appleville which is in the kind of in the heart of the nation of kandor it's a big bustling city it's a vibrant happy place and you are setting setting forth to kind of parts unknown. You are, the three of you, adventurers who seek your fame and fortune abroad. You aren't really sure necessarily of the destination, but all three of you are very aware that it's the journey that matters. Oh. Handsome Tom, your character?

Yes, my character is goodness gracious. Tom, your character? Yes, my character is goodness gracious. I'm a monk, and I brew good drinking times for good people. My friends call me Goody. Goody. Goody, Goody, Goody. I'm looking forward to saying, oh, Goody, in a very sarcastic and mean tone.

Oh, no, don't do that. That'll make me very upset. Shanks, what's your character's name? Oh. And basic principle. Okay, do I do my character voice now? I don't know. I'm just going to be like this.

Hi, my name's Molto Bene. I'm a little boy. I'm a little halfling. I'm a little boy. I'm a little halfling. I'm a bard, and I'm level three. Hey, I'm a tiefling. I didn't say that. Well, no, fair. That's good to mention.

Actually, the default image for you are a drunken master. That's the type of monk. I just remembered that the default image is of a tiefling stumbling around. That's very funny. I didn't mean to, but I made the picture that the class comes with. Good. So, you are a bard, did you say? I'm going to slightly tweak my voice.

Yes, I am a bard. I'm a bard halfling. Molto Bene is my name. I love to sing and my friends. And I'm a sucker for a pretty face like adams get a good boy card i'm gonna do so well a compliment that i believe and uh no i don't cast don't don't look at me like that of course i don't i. I know compliments aren't real.

Cass, it's your turn. Hi, my name's Lunarbon Strawberry. I am a half-orc, as you can probably tell by looking. Lunarbon is an influencer. I have taken it upon myself. I'm part of the circle of the shepherd. I'm sorry. I didn't mention I'm a druid.

I have taken it upon myself as part of my druidic circle to care for all the animals that can't care for themselves. And I really, I'm really, I just have a lot of issue with a lot of the development that's happening because I'm really destroying a lot of the lands. And I'm very excited to help with that and sort of of the development that's happening, because I'm really destroying a lot of the lands, and I'm very excited to help with that, and sort of against the development. I mean, I kind of... I moved out to nature after... I had a failed...

I'm just really excited to go on a new adventure. I haven't been around people for a long time. This is my rabbit. Her name's Paula. I am genuinely unsure of when Lunabon stopped talking and Cass started talking, but I know there was a switch at one point. No, that's excessively rude, Adam.

I am put together. Actually, all three of you can ultimately get a good boy card. I'm very happy with all three of you. Thank you very much. Good. Boy boy card that's what you received yes so uh for just as a quick explanation when the players do very well or play very well to their character make me laugh something like that or just when i fucking feel like it i will allow them to take a good boy card from the good boy pile and it's just a little bonus that they can they can use it anytime and i have here a bad boy pile if i do pretty well or if i make myself laugh or if i just feel like it i will give myself a bad boy card every time you take a bad boy card does the

song i'm a bad boy for love just play? I'm sure Zamet will add it. Good. Zamet knows he should add it. As I said, the three of you, you've known each other for a little while now. You kind of like started to meld together. Maybe because Goody, you and Lunabun, you're both kind of outcasts for your race. Races are both not really welcome in quotation marks polite society. That's true.

So you both considered outcasts and maybe you bonded a bit over that. And molto bene because of your, the lifestyle of a bard means that you travel around a lot. And it's nice to have good friends who seem intimidating as well. But also I'm sure you perhaps admire the freedom in their lives. Yeah, and the friends of Molto Bene are very good.

Does Lunabon mean good in a language? No, it doesn't. Because it's goody, Molto Bene, which means very good. And Lunabon, what was your full name? Lunabon Strawberry. I can make it Lunabon, that makes it... Lunabon. Good moon. Sure, all right. Lunab name? Lunabon Strawberry. I can make it Lunabon. That makes it. Lunabon. Good moon.

Sure. All right. Lunabon. As I said before, you are all three of you embarking upon a ship. You're not really sure where it's going. You were in Appleville and all three of you agreed that you wanted to kind of like a change of scenery to go somewhere, another continent even. And so Lunabon was sent out to just grab some tickets for all

three of you lunabon you went to the harbor master you asked for the next ship leaving he told you about it and told you how to get tickets you listened to how to get tickets but you didn't listen about it you're more interested in the journey the tickets turned out to be quite expensive really hella expensive and you're finding out now why the ship is it's not wooden it's made out of metal to make a ship out of metal in the current period is kind of a big deal it's either wood or like a lot of money and even wood can sometimes be better than metal there's a type of wood local to this area known as ironwood, which is basically the same properties of steel, but it's wood, so it floats. To make a ship out of steel means that you want to show off. You imagine that this ship was definitely made by someone who wants

to show off. It's maybe the biggest ship you've ever seen. You fancy it could carry maybe 200 passengers. It looks like, well, you don't know what a cruise liner is, but it looks almost like a cruise liner. As you stroll aboard, you can see the sailors all about you in blue uniforms. There's a big band playing a nice song as everyone boards. And you can see that there are two, now that you're on the deck, there are two gangways allowing people onto the deck of the ship. There's the one that you three came through which looked kind of just like general rabble like people who were either traveling or holiday making or anything like that but kind of the general common folk and then there's one that is quite obviously roped off and quite obviously for first class ticket holders as you board one of the

sailors gestures towards you and says welcome Welcome! Welcome to the Titanic! Well, that sounds like a fine name for a ship. Wow. Nothing could ever go wrong on a boat. Biggest ship in the world! Unsinkable! Now, he sounds like a trustworthy man, and I do believe everything he has said to us. And it seems even bigger for me, because I'm a little halfling guy. Hey, what's up?

You do well on these tickets. Oh, goodness. I haven't seen this much metal in, God, 20 years. Please, please, your tickets. He gestures outwards. You all have your tickets. Good. I panic.

They're like, wait, do we have tickets? Here's my ticket. And I give him my ticket. He punches a little hole through it. Along with you, young boy. Okay, and I go stamp, stamp, stamp my little feet. He is aware that Malta is a full-grown man, right? He does not look like it.

He stamps both of your tickets and lets you on. You mean we could have gotten cheaper? We could have got a discount if we pretended that he was a boy and that you were my pet cat. Oh, that's fine. Well, not for next time. Sure. Yep. Cool.

There's a big group of people just dancing near where the instruments are being played. You can hear the sounds of children playing in the distance as well. Also, you're instructed where to find your rooms below decks. You can just go straight to your rooms if you want. Hey guys, I'll be there in a minute. I'm gonna join in. And I go to where they're playing music and I get out my lute and I just start like da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da join in we're on a boat exactly yeah you are by far the best player in the band hey yeah and i do like a little you know skippity sort of dance with my feet at first maybe the other the other uh what

do you call it band members the other band members are a bit hesitant when a halfling just jumps onto the stage and starts playing but maybe maybe like six bars in they realize that you're quite good and they're happy to have you up with them whoo yee howdy and then i say something like hey cast do you want to check the recording still going the screen is black okay good it's so organic yeah i keep playing the song about check the mac is not turned off hooray hooray hooray hooray you you're playing maybe begins to bring more people to the dance and it's now this entire section of the deck is just people dancing it's become a big party people are having fun great can i see rose and jack like sort of having a little dance a little skidoo you see neither hide nor hair nor sweaty palm print on a car of either of them oh well i don't

care i keep playing um i would like to take out paula and have a jig with her i'll take pick up a little front paws and i'll get on the floor we'll have a bit of a dance you get down onto your hands and knees take your pet rabbit out set her down on the on the deck and as you're dancing with her you can hear her because you you um spoiler alert you understand animals one of your powers for being a druid you can hear paula saying no no no there's a lot of people here a lot of stamp and feet paula is safe but she's worried you're fine pa, Paula. I mean, I hate it too. Like, I'd rather be in a hill. Paula calms down when you console her. And she dances with you.

Yeah. Did she do the bunny hop? I'm sorry. I'll stop the record. Lillibond dies mysteriously. I formally introduced paula to everyone yeah you might have you probably would have met paula before you probably met her pet rabbit i make i asked paula to politely shake their hands she does because she's clever and an angel

well i can't because i'm still playing a loot i'm still yeah i wave i make i'll make her wait she it's coming we've acknowledged that Paula is bad. I do a real big wink. It's not very nice. I try and make Paula catch the wink. Paula tries her dauntus to catch that wink. I hope this whole quest is this cute. Yeah, me too.

Is there a bar on the deck of the boat? You asked one of the sailors? Yeah. Of course, of course. Please, follow me. Oh, wonderful. I'll be back. I'm going to wet my whistle.

Sounds unpleasant. Oh, it is. He leads you inside, and inside there's a bar with a large glass window, like a curved glass window, facing outwards onto the deck of the ship. The curved window, like a curved glass window, facing outwards onto the deck of the ship. The curved window, you realise from the outside

it looked like just a mirror, but on the inside it's a two-way mirror, which just doesn't make sense because it's only a one-way mirror. Why do they call it two-way mirror? This is part of Adam's tight-fives stand-up routine. Why do they call it a two-way mirror? It's only got one way. It's like two atoms. That-way mirror? What's the deal?

It's like two atoms. That's uncanny. What's the deal with two-way mirrors? Who are they trying to keep out of there? That's my one joke. I just do that for five minutes. Just getting higher pitched, higher pitched, higher pitched.

Until everybody else in the room pops. Higher pitched and faster. I'm trying to go for a record. Anyway. Why didn't I make my character Seinfeld? That would have been great. The whole time. You're inside.

There's the bar there. There's a big, large stage on which a grand piano sits no one's playing it but you can hear the music coming in from outside there's a bunch of people sitting at the bar i'm gonna go order myself a drink that i'm gonna make up right now off the top of my head i would like to ask the bar keep bar keep may you make me a rusty dwarf on the rocks? The bartender looks at you dead-eyed and says, potato or not? Potato, please.

What am I? An animal? He makes you a rusty dwarf. Grain alcohol and a potato. Yeah. Sets it in front of you. Thank you, barkeep. Do you mind if I duck out and see what the seabirds are up to? Sure, ducking out where?

Are you going off the boat? No, into the deck. Oh, you're on the deck already. You're on the deck dancing. You could just walk over to the side and cast an eye outwards to look for seabirds. Can I say some sort of bird equivalent of oi birds? There's no birds within earshot which is what a line okay there

are birds obviously but just none of them they're all too far away to hear you trying to talk to them any fish you're way too high up for fish okay i guess i just sit disappointedly there's no animals on the deck where there's like a couple people have dogs and such. People brought their pets with them. I would like to talk with them. Okay. What dogs do I see?

I really don't do people too much. I'm really more... What if the dog eats the rabbit? Um, no. No, animals are good. Eyes or lows?

Eyes. There's a German shepherd Well sorry I mean a dwarven shepherd Walking around on the deck of the ship Being led around by a dwarf of all things Hey Hey buddy The dog looks up at you and cocks his head to the side

How you doing Alright thanks They feeding you well Yeah pretty good Hey, dude. All right, thanks. They feeding you well? Yeah, pretty good. That's good. If you need anything, come find me, okay? All right.

Spread the word. Let's go this way. The dog wasn't talking to you. I know. He starts pulling on the lead. Whoa there! Whoa! The dwarf is dragged slowly along by the German shepherd this way this way this way what a strong boy

there are maybe some other pets like some people have eagles not eagles sorry birds i should say okay all right hi so what's highs highs highs fuck off i turn around like i don't have magic powers and walk away All right, heisel works. Hives. Hives? Hives. Fuck off! I turn around like I don't have magic powers and walk away. He was so rude, Paula. Did you hear? Can Paula... Paula can't understand birds.

You can understand birds. Paula can't. What did he say? Something very rude, Paula, that I will not burn your beautiful, beautiful ears with. Where do you keep Paula? Um, kind of like when you carry a sack of potatoes under your arm. You know, that thing we all do.

Carry sacks of potatoes. Oh no! You know, the thing we all do. Carrying a sack of potatoes. Rock-a-bye potatoes. Potatoes is over the shoulder, flowers under the arm. I'm thinking of a sack of flour. Right. Another thing I do frequently.

No. For I am Peter from The Hunger Games. Typically, when I'm carrying a sack of potatoes or flour, it's in a shopping bag. Yeah. That's hardly a sack. What? What's a sack of flour? You get like a kilogram.

Like a big sack as opposed to a small sack. Yeah. Put in a bag. Yes. Look, I carry Paula on my person. In your hands. Yeah. Like sort of.

Cradled like a babe. No. Like in the crook of my elbow, kind of. Like a, yeah. Like a sack of flour potatoes. Sure. Like a small rabbit-sized sack of flour potatoes. All right. Damn. We don't have of flour potatoes. All right.

Damn, we don't have, like, anything to... All right, hang on, wait. Hang on. Fire blanket. There you go. Yes, yes. So suppose the fire blanket is the rabbit. Show me.

Okay. That's a really cute rabbit. Now... All you need to do is pull out tabs, and then you'll be safe. Fire. So, Cass, for future reference, that is referred to as under my arm. Okay. If you ever need to make reference to that one in the future, just to help you out there.

Okie dokie. I'm so sorry. Like you'd hold a rugby ball when you're running. I've never done that. I guess that works. That's very funny because that's something Cass has never done. Yeah. Ah, that's great.

The ship's engines belch smoke. I thought you were just exhuming a demon. That's really great. It goes, To continue. The holy water finally got into his fist. We got rid of it. We got him, guys.

The chimneys begin to belch smoke as the engine starts... That was my version, sorry. Is there a foghorn as well? Sorry? Is there a foghorn as well? Yes, there would be. What does that sound like? I say, I say so.

It's foghorn, leg on. I'm getting a bad boy card for that. All right. Dejected look. Think about what you have done. Guys, I have to catch a long train ride to come here. Oh, shucks. And you'll catch one home.

Yeah. You'll have a lot of time to think about what you've done. Yeah. I'll give you a lift. Like a can of soda? Yeah. This is stupid. Yeah, like a can of soda.

And then you can catch the long train ride. But you'll at least have caffeine and you'll be hydrated. Exactly. You all three of you feel the ship moving. Some of you get to see the effects of it. You, for example, Goody, you in the bar, you see all of the drinks like chinkle and then all the liquid sloshing around in it.

Lunabon, you hear Paula whispering somewhere in the crook of your arm. Moving. You are so right. And Motobene, you... Hello. Moving. You are so right. And molto bene. You have to hold your loot extra tight when the ship jerks just to keep from mistringing or misplucking. You do pretty well, actually. You're really good.

The rest of the band do okay, but you do really well. I keep playing. I say to the band, we're doing a 12 bar. Watch me for the changes. And we keep going. Hey, elf. It's me, your cousin dwarf. You know that new cursed ring you've been looking for?

Well, listen to this. Very good, very good. Yeah, thank you, thank you. I get a good boy card. Give him a good boy card. Johnny the good boy card. I'll pay the confidence. Johnny the good boy card.

Okay, you get the good boy card for that. Good boy, transference. We all touch that one, it's special. It is. That one's a friendship good boy card So, what are you guys doing until the night? I am currently doing it and I will continue to try to continue to do this Excuse? I'm getting drunk

Alright, how much gold do you have? I have no idea, it doesn't say It should be in the bottom middle part There should be like the bottom middle part. There should be like a- GP. Yeah, GP. Yeah, not a lot. How much do you have?

I have 15. 15? 15. You, highs or lows? Highs. Highs? You're going to spend six gold getting drunk tonight. What if instead of just-

What if I landed my expertise behind the bar and taught them how to make more high-end cocktails or specialty drinks uh that's what they need they that's what the guy wants he wants you come around showing him how to do his job yeah that's what he wants i'm that kind of ass you ever done that at a bar handsome i don't i don't go out much no fair same i was just asking because i wanted to know if it worked so I could... Well, then I might not get completely drunk. I might just get a little bit fun. All right.

You spend three gold. Great. I'm a woman. First, I'm going to talk to other people in the bar, find out where they are headed because we don't know. The first person you speak with is a lady by the name of Abella. Well, hello, Abella. My name is Goodness Gracious, but my friends call me Goody.

Where are you headed on this fine vessel? I am on my way to Elvenlands. Oh, I've never been to Elvenlands. Is it nice? It is wooded. I specifically wish to go to Witchland, the city. But it will take this ship some time to reach there. So if we stay on the ship for as long as you do, we will also get to Witchland?

Presumably. Where does your ticket say you're going? I have not even had an inclination to look at my ticket, as I did not know that that information was printed on it. It is. I'll look at my ticket then. Your ticket says end of the line. Oh boy, that sounds like an interesting town. Have you ever heard of end of the line? I believe your ticket means that you are going the full trip.

Does that back to where we started from? Yes. Okay, okay. We could choose to get off at any point, though, I believe, with an end-of-the-line ticket. Well, you would be wasting a lot of money, but yes, you could. Fair enough. Presumably you paid a lot of money to get that ticket. Oh, no, we did.

I have barely any money for drinking. Well, you seem to... She gestures to the many empty glasses already in front of you. You seem to not have had too much trouble oh no i'm very good at it uh-huh she looks you up and down you you're not sure you're drunk you are uh you yeah you're i wanted to be fun not drunk she looks you up and down and you you don't recognize the expression on her face, but when her eyes flip back towards you, you can see for a brief moment,

you think it must be a trick of the light, but they look like slits, like cat eyes, not human eyes. But in a second, not even, in less than a second, it's gone, and her eyes are normal. Would you consider yourself a particularly wealthy person? A particularly wealthy person? No. No. But a good time? Absolutely.

You are an adventurer? Something like that. All right. All right. You begin, you're just like having nice, pleasant, small talk with her. And while that's happening... What was that? Thanks for making funny faces.

Sorry, I was kind of stretching my face. Oh, okay. I hate it when my face cramps. It looked like you were almost trying to roll your eyes, like, bleh, boring. Chatting to a girl. Where's the action? Yeah.

Well, what do you want to do into the night? Eventually, no matter how good your playing skills are and they are quite good eventually people kind of want to retire to their rooms so the party begins to die down i think i'm just like i've maybe i've already been to my room and now i'm just like wandering around being like wow this is so cool oh look at ah look i'm just like really overwhelmed by how cool this is uh this is so cool. Whoa, look at... Ah! Look! Ah! I'm just, like, really overwhelmed by how cool this is. This is, like, my dream. I love this. All right.

You see some people playing shuffleboard. Hey, guys. I see you're playing shuffleboard. A man, a swarthy-looking male, turns around to face you. You are a halfling? Yeah. You're swarthy? Yes, I am.

Great. My name's Molto Pede, and I think that's very good. What are you guys doing? Can I join in? Yes, of course. Woo-hoo. I am Berat. Berat.

Nice. That's two animals. Yes, it is. Yeah, that's great. I love animals. I'm with a friend who can talk to them. Maybe he can talk to you. She's not really here.

I don't know. Hey. Would you like to play a round of shuffleboard with them? They're playing, not for keeps. What is it? For money. Oh, yeah, sure. It's a gold coin to enter.

Okay. She's, I don't know. All right, maybe just one, one gold coin. Don't tell my my friends they'll look a while yeah i check on a coin it's five of them so six people in total i'll roll to see who goes first but before we get into that here's a word from our sponsor maybe also tickets for our live shows are still available over at sanspantsradio.com forward slash live and if you like what we do on the show why not check out some of our other shows on the sans

pants radio network like shut up a second a show where i count down the moments until the inevitable heat death of the universe because god damn it i'm not gonna die on that fucking episode, ever am I? Just head to sandspansradio.com or search for us on iTunes. Now, one of them goes first. He... I don't know how to play shuffleboard. Dizzle right. It's your turn. I love that you picked a game that you don't know how it works at all.

It's the game that... What? Would you like me to have picked Polo? Yes. Yeah. Do you know how Polo works? A little, yeah. that... What? Would you like me to have picked Polo? Yes. Yeah. Do you know how Polo works? A little, yeah. Okay, go.

I've played it before. Oh, really? No, we're playing Shuffleport. Like on a horse? No, no, no. With just the... Well, I guess all forms of Polo are played with mallets, except water polo, which is just played with the horses.

Oh, you get a good boy card. All right, give me a good boy card. All right, give me a good boy card. You can't even get good boy. The rules are whatever I make them. But does that mean he can help us with his good boy card? I suppose. You think he's using them on our characters? Oh, wait.

I thought he was using the bad boy cards on us. Who knows? Fuck. The rules are whatever I decide at the time If we lose and it's because of that good boy card I'm real sorry Yeah It's your turn

So Oh, what is shuffleboard? I don't know It sounds like You gotta slide a puck or something, I think Right, so it's like curling Yeah Okay, cool

Yeah, cool, curling, yeah You do pretty poorly Oh, well I still got 14 more gold I loudly say One of them wins Would you like to play another round? Oh I don't know

No I think I'm happy you're watching Hey do you guys like the flute? And I pull out the flute and I start playing I have a lot of rhyming instruments You do really well You're a very good musician. You do far better at the lute than you did at shuffleboard. Great.

And do I get tipped my dollar back? My gold coin? It's okay. You don't have to. If you want to, it's fine. Highs or lows? Highs. Highs?

You get tipped. You only get tipped a silver coin. Thanks, guys. Maybe out of pity, Chuck's a silver coin your way. Woo-hoo. And I run away like Charlie with a golden ticket. It's like scampering off with glee. Am I just sitting in the bar looking through the curved window

and I just see him run past carrying a silver coin like Charlie with a golden ticket? Yes, you do. Oh, well, he's having a good time. Yes! And I keep running. And, um, and... I sleep in full off the ship. Oh, please don't do that.

Can't fade over. Fuck, maybe. Yeah, he's the destined one. I didn't tell you guys this. But the destiny of the world rides upon you, and I can't change that even though I haven't said anything about it. It's very important. Lunabon, what are you doing?

I really disdain the man-made things, so I'm going to have a walk around this ship to really solidify my choices in life. And it's nice to get out and see everything. I spend as much time as possible on deck, but I'll walk around the inny bits. God, I hate machines. The inny bits.

I guess you just travel around. Any animals? Hives or lows? Hives. I guess I'm more looking for animals. If you're looking for animals, specify that. Yeah, I'm going to look for animals. Because I won't roll for animals otherwise. Please roll for animals Specify that Yeah I'm gonna look for animals Because I won't roll for animals otherwise

Please roll for animals Adam If you insist Heyselos? Heys You see that German shepherd again Sorry dwarf and shepherd again Hey How's your day been? Pretty good thanks

Good what did you get up to? Uh, sniff some things. He's- The dwarf is trying to pull him back. The dog is obviously trying to get at something. What do you- What do you need? Smells. What-

What are you smelling? Smells. He buries his nose into a corner and starts sniffing at it. Smells. The dwarf is trying to pull mightily against the force of the dwarven shepherd. What does it smell like? Is it food? Maybe. You don't know? I don't know.

It smells good. Okay. Whereabouts are you staying? Uh, what? Oh, dogs aren't clever. Yeah! I get this problem all the time. Never mind, it's fine. Oh, dogs aren't clever. Yeah. I get this problem all the time. Never mind. It's fine.

Okay. Okay. You having fun? Yeah. What's your favorite part of being on the ship? Smells. There must be so many smells for you. Yeah.

That's so good. Yeah. Cool. Have fun. Thanks. Have our fun. Oh, shit. All right so good. Yeah. Cool. Have a fun. Thanks. Have our fun. All right. Thanks, Peyton.

Have a fun. I was going to say day, but it's night. Sometimes I like to, I don't actually like to do this. This is a joke. Sometimes I like to, when someone serves me a meal and they say, have a nice night, I like to say, and you enjoy your meal too. That's great. That was nearly framed as a

how embarrassing, but you're like, this is what I intentionally do. This is how I have my fun. Then nobody reacted and he said, it's great. We're all having trouble here. Come on. No seabirds or anything like nothing flying around certainly not in the ship no and outside i'll try the deck as well i just want you walk out onto the deck yeah you spot a seabird a seagull flying around hey hey hey what you doing looking

for food cool oh do i can I go steal food for him? Sure, yeah. Yeah, I'll be right back. One sec. All right. Steal some food. You get him, I don't know, maybe... I can just buy the food.

No, I'm just trying to think what you could get for a seagull. Shrimp? Maybe you get some potato. Like, just baked potato. Bring that back to him. Thank you. You know, just pull it out of a rusty dwarf. That's what I was going to say.

Find a rusty dwarf that someone hasn't finished.. Thank you. You know, just pull it out of a rusty dwarf. That's what I was going to say. Find a rusty dwarf that someone hasn't finished. A cold potato. You want hot potatoes. I don't think seagulls are picky about their coal. Yeah. I want to pick a potato out of a rusty dwarf. Excuse you? Nothing. I'm running around with the...

You go grab a potato from a rusty dwarf and bring it back for the seagull. The seagull swoops, grabs it, and then flies. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. They don't really have talons. They can't hold on with their feet.

Adam put as much of his fist in his mouth as he could and tried to talk. Sorry? No, I was just going to say, how could a seagull talk with a potato in its mouth? How could a seagull talk? Yeah, exactly. I kind of got myself. Because if you've got like a... Yeah, but...

Yeah, that's as good as you're going to get. Yeah. It doesn't have lips. But it's not like it's actually pronouncing things. No, I can just understand. Yeah. So it's not like it's actually pronouncing things No, I can just understand So it's just going I saw a fully dead crow today

And it looked perfect It was just like lying like And it just was so dead Like legs in the air? Yeah, like it just didn't care That's the line, legs in the air Like you just don't care Let me see your crow

It just looked so perfect I kind of wanted to take it I was like, just don't care let me see your crow it just looked so perfect i kind of wanted to take it i was like your free taxi to me no it's just a dead bird anyway oh don't pick up a dead bird but it was so perfectly preserved usually we see a dead bird it's like rotted or it's got like i don't know three like little cherub children picking it apart. But no, this is the perfect show. You're talking about that, wait, what? Cherub show? You know, bird pickers. Yeah.

That great TV show. What side of town are you guys from? Yeah, fuck. So, at some point, all three of you will reconvene at your... What are you looking at? Nothing. You kept glancing at my book. Don't look at my book.

No, I'm not. At some point, all three of you reconvene in your room. Do we have a shared room? Yeah, you have one shared room. Awesome. You can keep in for the night or any sleepover. You can stay up for an extra hour talking. What did you guys discover on this boat? I met such good dogs. Dog, I only met one. I met a good bird. You're really not enjoying this, are you? There aren't as many animals.

I need to go out. Right. I need to start exploring, and that's good. But I hate technology so much. I hate it. I was talking to a lady in the bar, and she said that our tickets are good for a round trip all the way back to the start again, or we can get off anywhere we like. So if you see something interesting on our Johonie.

I would really, really love if we could get off at, like, a forest. Just somewhere with no buildings. Like the dock, but nothing else. I want to see everything. I want to get off everywhere and see it all. Well, mine counts as that. That's two votes. Fair enough.

Then I guess we'll work out where the first port is. Can we get off the ship and get back on it again? The ship will dock at several places. Yeah, you might have asked, perhaps. Yeah, the ship will dock at several places, and they you might have asked, perhaps. Yeah, the ship will dock at several places, and they're going to stay maybe, depends on the place, but sometimes as little as a day, but sometimes as much as a week. So you'll have a lot of downtime.

We can get on and off and, you know, explore, and you can talk to bugs. I would really, really like that. The first leg of the trip, though, is going to be probably the longest. As you sail, the Titanic is doing a course that no ship has ever really properly done before, which is to sail kind of through the middle of the sea just to the west of Appleville, sometimes known as the Big Blue, simply, just because it's the biggest sea that is anywhere, really. It'll take several, possibly several several weeks maybe several months even but uh the ship's quite big so you've got a lot of room

and such it's the first time that uh well it's the first time that a pleasure ship has ever attempted even such a thing and it'll be the first time if it is successful it'll be the first time that it happens ever. Sorry if? You mean when? Yeah. Yeah. We're fine. The man when we got on board the boat said it was unsinkable so we are fine. That's good. That's great

because I can't swim. That will not affect anything in the future. Oh, boy. Said with that face. I guess we go to bed? Yeah. After the lights go out, I say, hey, guys. Yeah? Do you think there's, like, a girl out there for me?

Oh, Motto. What have we told you about that? You know. It's just, you know, back home, there was this one, but she died. Good night, guys. And I sleep with my eyes open. I will never ever get used to that weird boy's eyes. I remember you beginning to describe this

as like a happy-go-lucky, oh, I'm going on an adventure, but now there's a dark twist to it. There's a dark past. All right. Sick. He's such a bleak cheerful boy i'm looking forward to slowly i guess this game is going to become more and more of the skull getting visibly shown as the skin is stretched tighter and tighter over it great i think i'm a tiny tim type character uh tiny tim from christmas

carol yeah i'm not great with literary references. Yeah, sickly. Needs medicine. One leg. But kind of wide-eyed and hopeful. No, I've got no legs. Put that in the character sheet. You got toes, though. Can you have one of those little dog wheelchairs?

I've got toes but no legs. It is coming out of my hips. I've got 40 toes on each hip. That's four. He's just like, sclubbering around. God. Just like, brrrr.

I'm like, oh yes, I should be a centipede too. I turned into a centipede. Give me, it's your only high five you'll ever have. High century.

No, I do have legs. You said something about Seth Century, sorry. No, no, no. I don't know who that is. Oh good, I don't either. He said something about Seth Sentry, sorry. No, no, no. I don't know who that is. Oh, good. I don't either. He's a rapper?

I think so. Oh, you see the fucking like, Oh, I go out for breakfast and there's like a waitress and she's fucking cool. That's like a song. Yeah. Oh, I fucking hate Seth. If you listen to Seth Sentry, come find me. He has a great rap about hoverboards.

He's like, oh dear science Alright, that sounds so insipid Do you know Insane Clown Posse? The only rap Adam reveals the one band he's heard of So, actually I don't know Insane Clown Posse very well But the only rap I ever found very funny was insane oh i ever really liked was insane clown posse came out with a song i think it's called

miracles where they're like you know the classic song things you can't explain that science is bullshit can you explain why my son looks like me and which is the thing that was actually in that song and someone made a rap that was a science responds to miracles by insane clown posse and it's a guy who cannot rap who is just like spoken word rap but bad like imagine the worst possible but it seems so earnest as he tries to explain to the insane clown posse all the things that they don't understand. But you can't explain to them. They're insane. So you can't use rational thought. It just made me laugh so much.

Genetics. That's why. They've got that line in it. Fucking magnets. How do they work? That's from our son. That's part of it as well, yeah. Oh, fuck.

They're hard, though. What? Magnets. Magnets magnets are hard say hard or hot what oh hot yeah yeah the insane magnets are hot big j or whatever yeah talking about them yeah you just said they were hot you love them i'm talking you're your regular juggler i was trying to think about the the word was and all that was coming to my head were racial slurs i was like no it's not that it's no, it's not that. It's not that. It's not that.

Well, juggalo is a slur in the clown race. Doesn't the FBI characterize them as a gang? I think they do. I think they categorize them as a posse. Oh, boy. You're going to have a fun time, Adam fuck where are the rails anyway so i'm gonna jump forward things forward a couple of weeks you spend time on the ship you slowly get to know some of the other people on the ship unless you're uh unless you're lunabon in which case you slowly

meet and learn about all the different animals on ship. The ship has three cats for ratting. Hey, Lunabon, Lunabon, I met a bear rat. You might want to talk to him. There's a bear rat on this ship? There's a bear rat. He's kind of like a person bear rat. I think I have met this bear rat, and I don't think he is what you think that he is.

I'm just drinking, and I run away. Oh, he's lucky he's got the eyes of a camel. Bear Rat and Abella, you all find out, are a couple, married. And they're here with several, like, they're kind of like on a big family trip. It's hard to miss them. They're one of the big personalities that shows up on the ship. They're kind of just going around making friends with all sorts of people. You see them just chatting a lot with members of the crew as well. And you can

quite obviously tell that they're getting a lot of favors just because they're kind of becoming the popular ones on the ship. Maybe they speak to all three of you a couple of times as well. They seem quite nice though., they're nice enough. They're never mean or anything like that. But any interaction you have with them, for you, goodness, it's always a little bit stilted and weird. Like, when you're talking with them, you can tell that sometimes words are very hard for them to spit out. Like, they're searching and searching and searching for a word, but it never really comes until finally maybe you suggest it for them and then they're like oh yes and then they keep talking as if common wasn't a very familiar tongue to them but it's the only one

they speak for you molto bene you have a very good judge of character you're surprisingly insightful about people and you can tell you definitely know That despite the fact that they only seem to speak Common, they do not seem To properly have a very good grasp Of common, and every now and then You can see, you see almost like a Peek behind a mask Or something like that, you can tell that there's something

Weird going on between them There's some weird dynamic at play there And Lunabon, they seem nice enough going on between them. There's some weird dynamic at play there. And Luna Bon? They seem nice enough. Oh, Luna Bon. Oh, Luna. So we should... Are they weird to you?

Yeah, there's something strange about them, but different strokes, different folks. They seem nice enough to me. Paula, what do you think? I don't understand them. Yeah, I speak the language. I don't know what your rabbit said, but I assume they said they don't understand. Well, Paula said that she doesn't speak the language, but that has nothing to do with getting a vibe for someone's character, Paula.

If you say they're all right, then they're all right. I think they may not be what they appear well what could they be then there's some sort of disguise going on but who knows do i recall the i thing or is that was that just too quick for me to not remember was i too many drinks in you don't remember it damn well they often find themselves i've been doing an experiment where i find that they often do not know what the word they are looking for, so I've just started giving them the wrong word, and they just assume that it is correct. Do you for real do that? Yeah, sure.

They do. They do assume it's correct, as if they don't understand common. For example, the other day they were trying to think of the word for thunder, and I told them it was treetop, and they went with it. There's something not quite right going on there. That's very suspicious. You think.

Don't be rude. I'm sorry. I'm cranky. I spend all my gold and I can't have any drinks. We could tell the ship police. They won't do anything. Who's this new character? That was Adam telling a great joke.

I was laughing as if... Never mind. I'm sorry. I don't think township police are too much good, considering that it will be coming from myself and a half-orc, and we are highly not really respectable people on this ship. Oh, hey, people of me. I'm fine.

I can do a little jig. I'll sing them a song. I'm the piano man. Well, go tell them. Okay. Trundle, trundle, trle trundle trundle that's me trundling away we're all too good so just the right thing needs to be done it's good so what's the plan so i'm gonna go tell the security you go tell a member of staff how's all those guys Hi, Lowe's. Hi. What do you say exactly? Hey, guys.

How's it going? Good, thanks. How are you? I'm great. See you. Oh, no, I had something. Have you met the bear rat Bella couple, those guys? They seem nice, right?

Yes, they're nice enough. Well, me and my buddies, we're just worried that there maybe is something going on beneath the surface they're like i don't want to be like frigid or anything but i don't think they're exactly what they look like like sometimes it seems like they're wearing some sort of magical mask to conceal themselves and they seem to be kind of maybe lying about speaking the language i don't want to come off as like I'm not cool with immigrants or whatever, but I just thought maybe it's worth checking that they are who they say they are, if that's not too bold of me.

All right. I'll take that into consideration and we'll look into it. Okay, great. And I go on my flute and I skip away. That happens. That happens. I play a whole tone scale up and down, which is a mysterious sounding musical scale. Okay.

Yeah. It's like, gung, gung, gung, gung, gung. That was really bad. I'm not going to do that. But if anybody knows what a whole tone scale is, they'll get it. If you know what one is, please message us in. I'm genuinely curious and shanks. Well, it's a scale of whole tones, so that the interval between the notes is always a whole tone.

So if you had to start it on C, it would go C, D, E, F sharp, G sharp, A sharp, C. That'd be a full octave. And it sounds mysterious. It's like old Star Trek music. Okay. Anyway, that's all. That was interesting. You know a lot of shit, man.

I know a lot of shit, yeah. Hey, I'm the one who's running a game of D&D. Speaking of a game of D&D. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back to the game, back to the game. Hold on, that's what we're playing. What? Zooms out.

Well, how long are you guys, like, following up on that to see if anything happens? I kind of feel like my job's done. I'm kind of happy. I want to find out what Witchland, where Witchland is, if I remember that from the conversation I had with her on that. You probably remember that, yeah. Do I do some digging into where that place is? Witchland is, I'll roll for you. You know it's an elven city. You know that much.

You know that Witchland is... It's kind of one of the two main trade hubs for the elves. So if I were to show you a map of the world, it would be the dwarves in the top left corner and then just slightly southeast of them is the elves. The dwarves do a lot of trading with the rest of the world, but they have to kind of go through the elves to do that. And their two main trails split off roughly in the middle of elve lands.

One of them hits Witchland. And so Witchland just kind of, it started out as a smallish mining or not mining, but small like underground or deep down city for elves but because of the trade route that came through it a long time ago it slowly just built up and built up and built up and built up and it's known as a uh a wagon to sales city a wagon sales city is somewhere where uh goods or equipment or whatever change from a wagon to a boat. As in get transferred.

It doesn't literally. That'd be cool. It would be cool, but magic isn't that prevalent in my world. Are they elves? Are they human? It's a mostly elven settlement. No, no, bear rat and... Oh, they are human.

Okay, cool, cool, cool. Swarthy looking skin. They look like they come from somewhere sunny. And I'm assuming in time, like, trying to press them about where they're from gave us fuck all. No, you could try. Okay. Just do conversations. I reckon I go to the bar at night and try to chat to Bella, but not in a creepy way.

If you add not in a creepy way, that's how you make it creepy, mate. That explains it. Good morning, children. Not in a creepy way, that's how you make it creepy, mate. That explains it. Good morning, children. Not in a creepy way. Just be yourself, man. She should like you for you. Not because you're friends with Leonardo. Sorry.

Is that a reference that I didn't get? That's a song reference. Yep. Anything you say that i don't get i assume it's a reference i don't know what exactly are you trying to get out of her what information specific i'm just talking about where finding out where she's from will goodies plan to get information out of the mysterious woman work or will he end up revealing too much to her instead find out next time on Into the Jungle Island of

Dendar, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Thanks for listening. If you want to help support this show and all our other shows on the Sandspans Radio Network, just head to sandspansplus.com and for as little as $5 a month, you get access to episodes early,

all completely ad-free, as well as a heap of bonus content. That's sandspansplus.com. Hey there, fellow adventurer. If you're picking up what we're putting down and want more D&D content, we have just what you need to scratch that itch. D&D is for Nerds Plus,

the symbol, not the word, where you can listen to select campaigns that were once only available to Sants Pants Plus members, the further adventures of the Greyhill Free Company if you want shorter campaigns with beautiful guests, and D&D is for Nerds, not Ognot, where all our non-canon D&D adventures go to rest. Just search for D&D is for Nerds on your favourite podcast app of choice and join us on this epic quest of D&D podcast discovery.