D&D is For Nerds - Into the Island Jungle of Dendar #15 Escape From the Temple of Dendar

Episode Date: February 16, 2019

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logos and my face. So get in while the getting's good. Welcome to episode 15 of Into the Jungle Island of Dendar, a D&D's for nerds adventure. Before everything, but not before this. So you're in the, you're in the, the, I don't want to call it a corridor. It's more like a passageway of some sort. Yeah, but looking down. If we lower the rope, they'll spot the rope straight away.

Yeah. But if we thermaturgy, then lower the rope and then get down there, they'll be like, what the fuck's going on? And then bam, surprise. Yes. Want to do the second one, Adam? That's like real life me's actual fear. Two of them. Swallowing vomit from someone else.

It's filled with a liquid that you smell as alcohol. Maybe like a wine or something. Oh boy. The half woman, half snake. She seems to be in charge of this entire show. She's performing the ceremony. Instead of attacking you this turn, she's just continuing the ceremony. Splash again and again and again at you.

As the four purebloods in the circle, realizing that you're attacking their leader, concentrate fire on you. It scores a critical hit on Linus. Oh, well, he was rude to me before. Linus is brave, man. He's also rude. That could be fun, but I reckon there's something coming through this door.

Oh no, you're not fair. That's what I'm thinking. What? No! We're going to want some good luck pretty soon. Also, which two villagers died? We didn't know either. Oh, thank god. Molto bene. The yaunty nightmare speaker towers before you ready to strike but close to the ledge oh so i i go to do this shove i try

to shove her off the edge and i charge up and go stay away from my quest dad the yaunty nightmare speaker is big way bigger than you she is bigger than if i run off the edge right now what a way to kill you so much no invisible and then jumping off is better that's way funnier but uh this would also have been funny but that's not what happens you run up charge into her you slam into as hard as you can you cry out maybe something about linus maybe something about goody or lunabon you yell something that seems important at the time but your ears are ringing so much that and you're just running on adrenaline so much that you barely even know what you yell all you know is you slam into her and you deal like five points no four three points of damage it would be

but that's enough she loses not to say her footing she doesn't have a snake bottoming but for lack of a better term she loses her footing and topples off the side you hear her screaming all the way down to the bottom and it takes maybe a minute for her to stop screaming. It is cut off very suddenly. That was Molto Bene's turn. Unfortunately, the fight is not over.

There's still two purebloods and one broodguard. Pick up the scraps, boys. Linus calls out, Good job, son! He cuts down the last of the broodguard, and Seahall, with another crack of lightning, finishes off the purebloods.

Unfortunately, another two villagers are cut down by knives. It's Drant and Greenchapel are the only ones left. Oh, my God. I thought you were saying you'd kill Drant and Greenchapel. Oh, my God. The door continues to open as the blood of those who have died stops spilling onto the ground. It was spilling very heavily onto the ground. Starts floating as if it were in water already. It starts rising upwards and moving as if it were in a larger body of water.

And slowly, as if that larger body of water also had a current, starts moving towards the opening doorway. It is enemies dead. Lunabon, your turn. Okay. Am I able to run to where my friends are? Yeah, you can get there. I would like to run to where my friends are.

You can cut down one friend. Greenchapel? All right. You cut Greenchapel down. She's unconscious, lying in your arms. That was Lunabon. Goody. Well, I'm going to reward myself for farting so good a fart.

You keep drinking? I haven't even started drinking, Adam. You start drinking? I lift the bowl up and I drink that wine. Molto bene. I go free Dr. Ant. You go- I check if he's maybe got a scalpel on him to do it.

You free Drant with your dagger. He does not have a scalpel on him. It's very hard to free an ant. It's so little. I'm amazed they got him strung up. Exactly. I'm surprised an ant could get a doctorate. What's his first name?

Is his first name Drant? Dr. Drant Ant? No, his full name is Drant. Dr. Ant. No. I'm amazed they fit a stethoscope on him. No, no, no. That's so adorable.

Little ant stethoscope. No, it could be a bigger stethoscope on it? No. That's so adorable. Little Ant's stethoscope. No, it could be a bigger stethoscope. Grant Iron Shield. How many times your body weight? How many what? How many times your own body weight? Ten? Hundreds?

Sure. No, thousands. Hundreds and thousands. He's carrying like a regular stethoscope. That's very cute. Hi, Adam. a regular stethoscope that's very cute uh hi adam uh the last two daggers or the last two knives slash at where drant and green chapel would have been but obviously may connect with nothing then all of the knives fall lifelessly to the floor and the blood slowly begins to this the ritual obviously required two more people and it didn't

get those two more people so the last of the blood seeps into the door it is now open maybe halfway and light is spilling heavily out into this room you can see just beyond the doorway just through the opening a roiling mass of nothing it's it boggles the mind to look at you know that you are viewing another plane of existence there's something about this place something primal something before time space and man something that you you understand some like recess back in somewhere deep in your mind, somewhere long before, back when you were a creature, back when your people were creatures swimming around in the Stygian pits, understands is awful and evil and vile. Something you utterly reject. But the door is not opening any further. Adam, I finished the line. utterly reject, but the door is not opening any further.

Adam, I finish the wine. With a greedy burp, you finish. I fling the bowl into the abyss. Well, we could climb the rope and get- Is there a way out of this platform? Yeah, there's a path back the way-

Presumably, the other way out of the ziggurat I think we need to find Paula Before we go leaving We need to find Paula Seahawk, can you do something to wake our friends up? Yes, of course Also, Seahawk, can you do something

So that I'm not on ten hit points? You might not understand what a hit point is I can do one or the other Oh no, wake them up, I'm okay I have one she rouses Greenchapel and Drant are you guys okay? Drant, who's holding Drant?

I had Drant Drant, you holding cradling Drant turns into you hugging each other, he's sobbing heavily into your shoulder Greenchapel, who's holding Greenchapel? I was Greenchapel, who's holding Greenchapel? I was. Greenchapel, her eyes slowly flutter open,

and she looks at you, and a kind smile breaks out. She puts a hand on the side of your face, and rubbing your cheek with her thumb, she says, I knew you'd come. Of course, of course. Have you seen Paula? When they took me, they discarded her. I think they said something about not needing a rabbit for a human sacrifice.

Where did they put her? I don't know. I think she's still in town. We didn't go far when they discarded her. Adam. Adam. Adam. Adam. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Adam. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Adam. Yes. Yes. Adam. Yes. Adam.

Yes. Are you suggesting that if we had have searched town for Paula, we may have found her? Just the surrounding area. So the door is still open and you, well, it's still partially open and you kind of don't want to look into it. What are you doing? We're going to leave, right? Let's get out of here. I think leaving would be the smart option.

Is there any way to shut the door completely? Is there anything we can see? Does it look like... Bender. Oh, that sounds bad. The door creaks, groans, and then begins to bend as something tremendous on the other side pushes itself up against the door.

Eventually, the door completely buckles falls away and through a hole in nothing a snake slowly begins to slither outwards at first you're paralyzed with fear before the front part of this giant snake's body, lulls and laps itself over the path away out of here and slowly begins to curve and circle around your little platform. The snake's head is spade shaped, but with cobra flanges. I'm not sure what you call them. Siding. Hood to it. Yeah, a hood. A cobra's hood. As the snake slowly begins to curve around, it raises its head a little bit and you can see in its hood is many different crystalline shards reflecting and refracting each other thousands upon thousands of times. You see yourselves in these reflections murdered and destroyed and killed hundreds of different ways. You see your broken bodies falling, tumbling into the darkness around you. You see alternate histories or versions of reality where you lost the fight that you just won. You see casual deaths, brutal deaths,

and just deaths to time itself. But in every single reflection, it is your own death that you see as the snake continues to slowly encircle you. It's skin is made out of lapping different stripes, colors of red and black and red and black and red and black. Eventually, you realize you've kind of come to the fear is still there, but it has subsided somewhat. Can I ask a question?

I drank a whole bowl of wine. Is everybody else seeing this? Yes. Oh, boy howdy. Good, good, good. Not my snake of a thousand deaths. Great. I'm assuming it is Dendar, the snake, because it keeps saying its name, which I think is a stupid way to talk.

It is I. Oh, Hugh Dendar. I am Dendar. How do you spell Dendar? I have come returned to consume the sun. You're going to eat the sun.

The world will once more be plunged into eternal darkness you're going to eat the sun yes of course how denda slowly raises herself i'm gonna go the snake towards the ceiling of this giant room you see rock and stone and dirt and then eventually beyond it grass and trees fade away and sunlight spills into this room this world has two suns and a sneaky third but that's a tale for another day. One of the two suns begins to slowly dim. Oh, well, okay, you don't have to... I apologize for doubting your capacity to eat a sun.

Man, bye, mortals. Dendar slowly begins to rise up through that hole, ignoring you. There's nothing we can do. If she can eat the sun a fireball just it's not going to do anything um dendar's body has yet to completely come through the portal but the weight of what is through the portal so far is collapsing the platform you're on without even meaning to just casually you are about to fall to your death at the hands of Dendar. Wait, could we close the portal?

That would cut it in half. That would kill it, surely. Yes, we should try. A hundred percent. That's what we should do. I mean, we're gonna fall to our deaths. But what a noble death. We'll sing about this for years. Who's gonna sing this one? The iron door that was keeping the hole shut

is broken, partially, but still on, for lack of a better term, its hinges. Linus, we have had our differences in the past. That is correct. Linus throws his halberd to the ground. He doesn't say anything. He just nods. Great. Let's do this.

I assist Linus in trying to get the door shut. Maybe Seahall at first needs to give both of you a hand up you climb up onto dendar and then use that as kind of like a platform to keep going to get to the doorway wait so sorry how would the door shut is the snake not in the way of closing the door it is but like so it's a portal so one yeah right so you couldn't shut the door without cutting the snake no not that you know of and the door without cutting the snake. No. Not that you know of. And the snake's coming out pretty fast, so we wouldn't really have time to work at it.

You can certainly give it a shot. Is there any better idea? Are there any purebloods still around? No, they're all dead. Can we revive one? Yeah, actually, you could. Seahaw could. Could we revive one and interrogate?

No, he's going to fucking come everywhere. The light dims as one of the sons goes out. What? Linus is at the door, iron door, and starts shoving it. It slams into Dendar and Dendar's body halts. The head turns around to face down towards you. Yeah, we love our son. Push, boy. I push. What are the the ed sorry go on roll

roll your dice you begin to push you and linus both pushing as the door closes slowly you see the dendar's form shimmers a little bit not completely through the doorway dendar is not here not there truly either yet you guys look like you need a hand a mage hand and i cast mage hand to to kind of help close the door mage hand can move five pounds but i think you'll find ten pounds, Adam. I'm so sorry. Mage Hand can move with both hands. Mage Hand can move ten pounds. You, Linus, and Goody all begin shoving against the door. The door slowly working across its hinges as it closes because it had never properly opened. The ritual had never properly completed. Dendar is not properly here yet.

And in a diminished capacity, Dendar's body is giving way to you closing the door. I join in. Yes. Keep up pushing. We're going to put this big, sneaky bastard back in whatever hellscape it has crawled from. No. No. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

I'm back. Oh, I'm getting out of here. And that snake from before pops in and then pops out. Dendar's body begins to very quickly try to get all the way through the door as you're closing it on Dendar. With one mighty heave, you all shove as hard as possible and the door slams shut on Dendar. Dendar's form in this world disappears into a gas and you hear an awful hissing and wailing sound on the other side of the door. You will not defy me forever

the other son reignites um guys that was fucking awesome sorry for swearing mom a little bit it's allowed damn straight It's allowed Damn straight Ah, Seahall says There's not a lot of time for celebration Dendar's weight has kind of broken a lot of the support of this platform It looks like it's caving in We should leave

We should leave But before we leave, we need to make sure that no one can ever access this temple and open it I don't think that's going to be a problem. The platform is crumbling away. Oh, well, that's good then. How do we go? We'll go back to... We sprint through the collapsing...

I'd like to fireman carry... The collapsing room? No. Honeymoon carry Miss Greenchapel. I'm actually going to be rolling because it's kind of important. You might fall to your death right now. Oh. Oh, fuck.

Really? What? Yep. So... Paula yeah so no i didn't say goodbye i have a fortuitous circumstance adam yeah can i use it so we can escape um for those of you listening uh shanks picked up a handle that had no that is not connected to anything that wasn't really related to my sound. Yeah, I know. It just looked like it was. It appeared as though it was. Yeah, you're like, ooh, actually, Adam,

this handle you gave... Can I use this handle? At the beginning of the adventure, you gave me this handle, not realizing that now is the time to use it. You wind back time. Everything... You're back on the Titanic.

Oh, God. We've come so far. Wow. In the end, it doesn't even matter. time. Everything... You're back on the Titanic. Oh, gosh. We've come so far. Wow. In the end, it doesn't even matter. Alright, calm down there, all of Linkin Park. The second Linkin Park reference. You can use fortuitous circumstance if you want, and I will say you can save, with it,

one person out of your group. You can just pick someone, and they will not need a roll, they're just safe. I reckon you said after the roll. Yeah, I'm going to hold on to it. If you hold on to it, it's going to be something else. Use it now. It's a guaranteed safe passage for one person. Use it later.

I'll make it something else. Including you. Anyone. There's five people here. You three, Linus. Oh no, more than five. Sorry. You three, Linus, Seahall, Greenchapel, Drant. Drant.

Drant. I want to honeymoon carry Greenchapel because I imagine she's not too nimble because she's an old lady. Correct. Great.

All right. Are you going to spend it now? What do you reckon, guys? Honeymoon carry Greenchapel and do it on yourself. Molto Bene is a halfling and he's going to have disadvantage to all of these checks

because he doesn't move as fast. What? speed is 20 feet the wind too so i can move very quick if i need to and i've still got to keep the more people you carry though the less likely that's going to matter i have halfling nimbleness which means that i'm able to move through creatures larger than me unfortunately that's not really what's gonna kill you the temple's bigger and what is falling if not a creature of despair? Unfortunately, a temple is not a creature. I'd like Molto Bene to be safe. Alright, you're going to use your fortuitous circumstance?

Yes. Alright, Molto Bene, you're just going to make... You were already sprinting when this first started happening. You saw the writing on the wall, figuratively. I should step in the wind, shouldn't I? Yeah, look, it'd help. I'm going to step to the wind while carrying Mrs. Greenchapel.

All right, I'll give you advantage. Ma'am, I have you. Let's go. All right. And Lunabon. I wish so much that I could... Oh, Lunabon, you're lagging behind. Oh, no, fuck. Your...

Skill roll? Skill roll? Skill roll? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay, plus 12. Plus a d12. You're close. You're sprinting. Let me roll for Drant. Drant's fine.

Let me roll for Seahull. Oh, Seahull. Unless anyone wants to spend a good boy card to save someone. I've got no emotional connection to Seahull. I don't give a fuck as she falls i flip her off you held her hand for a minute remember oh and she made it two ago see see all is the last one off the cliff she's making sure that everyone else is getting off there

safely which kind of fits in with her character i suppose yeah yeah she's sprinting she's the last one along the bridge the bridge is collapsing behind her it starts falling where she's stepping and at first she's doing the legolas in the hobbit where she's running on the rocks adam but then she she's running for too long on the rocks she falls into the darkness. Can... Do I have a chance to throw Greenchapel forward and grab her? No, you're too far away.

You step with the wind. You're so far away. Can I step with the wind back? No, it's... This is like the first round. You've used step with the wind already. But I want to save her, Adam. Oh, no.

No. No, she was so kind. I don't think you can i'm sorry uh fuck you keep running you're not done yet you're not out you get on the other side of the bridge now you're in a uh a dimly lit corridor the corridor has disfigured forms of people and yonti and you realize they're statues transforming from human into yonti a big carving in the roof uh does anyone know draconic oh actually i know halfling no okay uh no no a big carving says something in the roof but you're not sure what you'd sprint through this room the collapsing is this room is rumbling as well it starts collapsing around you we have to run an hour uphill oh my do we what yeah it took us an hour uphill. Oh my. Do we? What? Yeah, it took us an hour to get down. But that was a different passageway. And we were

walking. Lunabon, good boy card. Oh, thank God. Molto bene. I'm still carrying Greenchapel. I didn't throw it because... Oh wait, who did you save with this? You saved... Yeah, Molto. Was I about to die? Oh no, Molto. Well, yeah, you were. Okay. You were just about to die. I've saved Molto. Goody, you're lagging

behind as well, even with your Step of the Wind I've got Grain Chapel as well He's fine for now But he's just not ahead of the pack anymore You're all together Linus Grant Anyone want to save Linus?

He just rolled a 1 Adam, I've got nothing I've got nothing I've got nothing You've got one card I've got one card Oh, two cards actually I would rather use it to save you guys if you need So I'm not going to do anything

Linus is going to die Well, I like Linus He's so brave even when he's dead Kill him Linus, as a large piece of the ceiling crumbles in Linus catches it holds it for a brief second

the rest of you run through Linus looks specifically at you Molto Bene and he says you gotta be a good kid on your own now and then he hail and then the roof collapses on him oh my gosh! It's you three, Greenchapel, and Drant.

I'm not letting this goblin go, Adam. You start sprinting up a stairwell. This one seems a lot faster than the previous one. It looks like you're not taking his roundabout away. You sprint past side room after side room after side room ignoring anything that isn't immediately the exit out of here. A whole dungeon.

Alright, actually I rolled. All the side quests we missed. Oh goody, you used step of the wind. You used another key point. You're gonna need to... Okay. Oh. You still are falling behind. You're not in trouble yet, but you're up the back of the group now.

You're carrying Greenchapel and you're slowing down. It's exhausting to sprint for this long. You've been fighting for so long as well. You're carrying Greenchapel's figure in your arms. I'm not putting her down. All right. There is no way she'd be able to run this escape. Oh, no. She'd be dead at this point. Yeah, no, fuck. I'm not putting this old lady down. All right. There is no way she'd be able to run this escape. Oh, no.

She'd be dead at this point. Fuck. I'm not putting this old lady down. She has a worse movement speed than Molto Bene.

Who I saved. Oh, and Drant. Drant for this section. All right. Drant's still fine. All right. You get to the top. You can see light.

You can see the outside world. It's one last mad dash to get out of the ziggurat. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Let's go, boys and ladies and friends. Goody, you are so lucky. Oh, wait. Are you still using Step of the Wind?

Yes. You've got to spend another key point then. I will. I will. I've got one key point left. I'm done. I'm out of key after this. Lunabon. Lunabon. Has've got one key point left. I'm done. I'm out of key. After this. Lunabon.

Lunabon. Has anyone got anything for Lunabon? I got a thing for Lunabon. Can reroll? Reroll? Yep. Lunabon, you make it out with seconds to spare. Drant? Drant's fine.

Drant, of course he is. Fucker built that shitty boat. Drant also sprints out. Maybe he's side by side with you Lunabond You get outside the ziggurat You stop for a second You can hear the collapsing crumbling behind you Then At the top of the ziggurat

The stones beneath you begin to shift And you realise of course If the inside is collapsing The outside is collapsing as well. You need to get to the bottom of this ziggurat fast. I have one key point left. Are you spending it? Not yet.

All right. Oh, you should. I mean, I got one card. You can spend the card to spend a key point I'll spend the last key point because then this card could be for anyone

yeah alright you get you get down you're out you're free you're clear green chapel's with me too

green chapel's with you thank god molto bene you didn't need a roll you were ahead of the pack well before you get out great

lunabon oh that's a one spend the card spend the card okay ahead of the pack well before you get out. Great. Lunabon. Oh, that's a one. Spend the card. Spend the card. Okay. So this is a plus 1d4 after making a skill, or reroll's probably better, right?

Reroll would be better, yeah. Let's reroll it. All right. Do you want to roll it? Yep. You need to get at least an 8. Oh! 12.

Alright, you're free. You're clear. I thought that was a 4. Oh no! Drant. Drant. Drant's clear. Oh, piece of shit. The ziggurat crumbles and collapses. Can we try and do, like, a four-layer crumble of that? Like, somebody does, like, the high end, like what you just did.

I'll do, like, a bassy rumble. You can do, like, the sort of, like, what do you want to do? I can do the, like, crackling of different things. Okay. I can do birds flying away. Okay, great. Okay, and we'll do three, two, one. Ah!

That sounded awesome. The ziggurat collapses and there is nothing left but a pile of loose rocks. Miss Greenchapel, are you all right? I'm fine. I'm fine. Thank you so much.

She hugs you close. That is good. Are you all right? I'm fine, I'm fine. Thank you so much. She hugs you close. That is good. Are you two okay? Nearly. I'm fine. And Dr. Ant? I'm sorry, we were really close with that man who thought we were your parents. And maybe I thought he was mine.

But not really, you guys are my parents. And I hug them, I hug them so close. It's a group hug. It guys are my parents. And I hug them. I hug them so close. It's a group hug. It's a good hug. Yes, we need to get back to town. We need to find... Paula.

Yes. I remember her name. Can I cast a silent image of Paula? Yeah, sure. No, that's too mean. That'd be great if you were dead. On the walk back to town, Drant thanks you profusely.

And right before town... Oh, no, no. Actually, right before town... He doesn't get a chance to say it just yet. But right before town, Grant is in the... Garl. Sorry.

I don't know what I went there for. Who the fuck is Grant? It's Gokta Ant. Right before, in the doorway to town, Garl is standing there. In his hands is Paula. I believe this belongs to you, lass. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you, Paula, Paula. Hold Paula over. When you're in town... Does she still hate me? Sorry? Does she still hate me? Yeah, she's trying to get away from your kisses I love you

I love you I love you No, no, no I'm never leaving you again No, no, no Please let me go Please let me go Please let me go

Let me go No, no, no You'll fix it You'll fix it She starts fighting against you I get scratched I don't even care No, I mean like trying to get out of your grasp

She can't I hate this She starts Can rabbits cry? No, I mean like trying to get out of your grasp. She can't. I hate this. She starts... Can rabbits cry? This one can. Weep. This one can. This one starts crying.

You feel fine in five days. All right, you're crazy. So... Jackson here. Sorry for interrupting. Here's a quick word from our sponsors. Also, this Melbourne International Comedy Festival, I'm gonna be hosting a

nasty game show called Big Deal that you better fucking come to. Grab your tickets from our website, sanspantsradio.com forward slash live. As you were. Mr. Gar. Yes. I would like to report an apology on behalf of, uh, Mr. L Alanis and Miss Seahall.

They will not be joining us. That is sad to hear. But I have good news. I managed to work out a cure. You did? The people who were sick, they're going to be fine. Mr. Gall, will we need that cure since we also came into contact with the creature that created the

disease? I imagine you'll want to take the potion as well. Thank you very much. Thank you. If you could put it in a whiskey of some kind, that'd be even better. You're all, Drant, Gall, you three,

maybe, yeah, Miss Greenchapel chapel actually you'd be sitting in her house we're all sitting in her house you're having tea scones and scotch for some of you and drant sitting down with you says i've i've got a confession to make um my name isn't drant my name is Dr. Ant. Iron shield. I didn't want to tell you this at the time, but I am the designer of the Titanic. I thought

she was impregnable. Then she got pregnant. Pregnant with failure. That's what people typically mean when they say impregnable. Typically, I haven't counted many people who say impregnable. Well, how many engineers do you know? Very few.

Except for Dr. Drant Ant. No, no, no. It's Dr. Ant Drant Ironshield. Well, what do you do? Well. Not that you have to do anything. Well. well what do you do well not that you have to do anything well dropping your um dropping your uh anger is a also an option or you just hit him or you could kill him don't do it you're always like

this when you're not drunk maybe do it i am i am drunk i drank an entire bottle of wine and i've been drinking scotch and magic potion well i've been drinking in the warmth of this new family union that I found, okay? And I don't think that families should be built upon a basis of hatred and vengeance and violence. We just saw Seahawks, who I held hands with for one nay two minutes,

fall to her death. And it's into a void darker than the one inside my soul. I say he designed something that was unnatural and shouldn't have been. That's a boat, and I understand. My concern is more that he designed a bad one. Then do what you must. I pat Paula real hard and slow like,

No, I hate this. I love you. I hate this. I love you. You're awful. I hate you. I love you you're awful I hate you no you don't I hate you no no no

give her five days give her five days I hate you I love you so much Mrs. Spitz in your face imagining a rat a rat a rabbit spitting

in someone's face is very funny Miss Greenchapel yes I seek your counsel considering that I view you as possibly one of the nicest people but spitting in someone's face is very funny. Miss Greenchapel? Yes? I seek your counsel, considering that I view you as possibly one of the nicest people that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting

and that you have taken us all under your wing just by not needing to at all. Oh, she pats your hand and then gives you a little hug. Dr. Ant over here has lied to us, has caused the death of several thousand people, built a boat very poorly that he arrogantly believed was impregnable, therefore didn't even think there was any need to have any lifeboats

of any kind. The boat sank and put us on this island, which put us through the violent adventure. Naturally, we did get to meet you, which was a great honor and a privilege, but it put us through a great deal of misery in which that rabbit over there no longer cares a great deal of misery in which uh that rabbit over there no longer cares a great deal about her companion is now 37 38 i don't even i think i know how to fix this

you you're having a little dispute with your good friend there dr aunt drant iron shield i have just the thing for it dearie she walks into her room and comes out with a very wide knitted jumper that says, Ah, getting along jumper on it. She puts one. She puts it over you and over Drant. You're wearing this for the rest of the day now. I love you. That's amazing.

I am covered in blood and have a dead snake around my neck. She made all of you have bods. Yeah, this was later. Yeah. We're all fully healed and have all of our spells back. Drent, I'm going to make you a deal. You will never design another thing again in your life. If I find out that you have.

I don't think I want to. I will tie you to a rock and put you at the bottom of the ocean where you have. I don't think I want to. I will tie you to a rock and put you at the bottom of the ocean where you belong. Could not imagine ever wanting to design something that had no lifeboats in it again. Let alone anything. Sorry? Also, just, fuck you. So. I bite him.

Hey! Mrs. Greenchapel smacks you on the back of the head. Sorry, ma'am, I just had to get that one in. Oh, did you just then? Well, that's it for crumpets and you then. Everyone else gets another round. And I'm making savoury crumpets.

Damn. That's my favourite type. Hey, guys, we've been on a great adventure together. And as a bard, I think it's only fair that we have a song. Yeah, please. Yeah, please. Yes, please. Mrs. Greenchapel absolutely has a harp, and you can absolutely play her harp.

That's great. I was about to get out my lute. But instead, I was going to get out my lute that sounds suspiciously like a harp. But instead. Okay, bear with this oh shit i know i'm holding this backwards this is literally the best thing that has ever happened on dnd well it's out of oh mrs green chapel she doesn't play a touch okay okay now we're starting a song and i'm gonna start by throwing it over to quest

mom go okay the folly of man got us again when will we learn that only plants are our friends. All the animals don't like me anymore. I can't wait to see what the future has in store. My friends all got drunk. Go on, Mom. Some of them got old. I hope our story will never be told. There is no hope as long as we keep listening to people who put us in deep

water and trouble and sometimes the drink sea hole is dead she fell on her head she held my hand for a minute and Linus was brave but he squashed

in a cave now oh his brave, but he squashed it again. Now all his gravy is in it. Take it, Dad. I can get this. I can get this. It's fine. I'll get this. It's fine. I'll be right. And now we're sitting here inside this lovely house with you,

Miss Greenchapel. You're the goblin lady of our hearts. And we're very glad that you could take us in. And we're going to stay here for a while and learn about the trees and make sure the doctor aunt never builds another boat like these because they were terrible, doctor aunt, you piece of shit. How the fuck would you build a boat without a live boat? Sorry, I digress. No swearing.

Apologies. Let's have another drink with friends. I'm back to sing a song and a snake from the mouth. I slip my way down the hill and inside I shall shout my snaky tail to be heard

across the sea. But if you'd like to hear a snake story, come along with me. Oh god, Adam, do you want to sing a verse? Mrs. Greenshaffle looks like she wants to join in at least. Come on, miss.

You've had a big day. Now it's time to go away to bed. Little dearies to bed. dearies to bed it's been such a long fight

you've been really good and you fought that giant snake with its hood Mrs. Greenchapel tucks you all into sleep with its hood. Mrs. Greenchapel tucks you all into sleep. Sometime passes on the island.

You speak with several people, maybe even tentatively, very tentatively, with Drant about a method of getting off the island. He is the man who built the Titanic, but he's the only engineer on this island well you whether or not anything comes of that is something distantly in the future for you though in the present about a couple weeks after uh after your tussle at the ziggurat you goodyody, you wake up one morning and you feel ill. You feel awful.

You feel absolutely sick. You wander over to Miss Greenchapel. It doesn't really have a proper mirror. Everything in our house is repurposed from something. It's more just a sheet of metal that has been polished to kind of resemble a mirror. You look at yourself in the mirror and you see that your regular eyes have turned to slits. Well, fuck me dead. And you cast your gaze back.

And now you don't know why. You don't know how. But somehow you know how to speak your tea. You know their language. They're hissing. It's in your brain. This can't be a good development you flash back to the room that you ran through in the ziggurat with the many different snakes and people in different stages of agony and metamorphosis and you know that it's metamorphosis

because the words on the roof read transformation to yawn tea, holy ritual. And the first statue was a human drinking deeply from a bowl. Oh, no. And that's where we'll end this. Can Lunabon ever accept humanity is worth saving will molto bene survive high school will our heroes ever escape the island and what horrors are in store for goody thank you for listening to into the jungle island of dendar a dnd is for nerds adventure. a month you get access to episodes early or completely ad free as well as a heap of bonus content. That's sanspantsplus.com

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