D&D is For Nerds - Jarren's Outpost #15 Little Teaghlaigh

Episode Date: August 19, 2017

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Sands Pradio.com slash live for the dates and times of our other shows. Now, enjoy the show. Welcome to chapter 15 of Jaren's Outpost Hustle, a D&D is for nerds adventure. Beforehand, if I could punch through like nine orcs earlier in this adventure, I could punch through like 15 half-wings. 15 I feel like yeah like like there's like two maybe three half-links to an orc the weapon in the bag does that require complicated setup it's a gnomish device so you imagine yeah there are 430 quadrillion 804 trillion 206 billion 899 million 405 thousand 824 different combinations it could be.

The idea of the two of you dying and me just... The vault is real good. Grabbing like three bags, alright. Can I use my get out of jail free cards? It's killing you. It is killing me. I did give you a get out of jail free card. Should have used it earlier. You know where we live.

He ducks around the corner. Fucking gotcha. They should have used it earlier. You know where we live. He ducks around the corner. Fucking gotcha. They said they have your wife. I just got chills. My whole body just went cold and numb. The door to your house has just been caved open. You know immediately something awful has happened. With Periwinkle's family kidnapped and the gnomish weapon gone,

you are going to see Little Loaf for help. You message boy, I want you to send this letter, I want to make sure it goes into Papa Shorefoot's hands. I want you to watch him read it, and then come back and tell me what he says. The runner looks down at the letter, looks up at you and says, I'll try

but I don't know if I'll be allowed to see Papa Shorefoot. Try real hard. Basically, the contents of the letter, I can tell you what it says. It's Liam Neeson's speech from Taken. All right, then. Anyway. They're going to get a bit confused by that.

Oh, no, but it says wife. And it doesn't say anything about, like, let her go. It's just, I'm going to, it's literally just the bit that says, I will find you and I will kill you. All right, the runner leaves. As he exits the door, he passes by Captain, Captain Tolton. Tolton. Captain Tolton is, like like in a bad way.

He's, uh, half of his armor has been like, his fancy, like nice looking armor is not so fancy and nice looking anymore. Uh, a massive sigil that was blazed on his front is half warped and torn away. Part of his face looks, looks like burnt, horrifically burnt, like the lower right hand side of it. And, uh, his, he looks like tired, very incredibly tired. As he marches through the building, people like part, like he's parting the sea before him.

And he spots you. He turns around and starts making a beeline toward you. Beeline. Funny, because I like bees. I just stand there and let him come. He stops before you, and when he gets up to you, you notice that he's got a bit of a limp and he's cradling one of his arms. Underneath the metal of his gauntlets and pauldron, you can see twisted and blackened flesh.

Looks like he's been burnt. He got dragon. He got dragon. He got dragon pretty good. Oh, man. Captain told him. Very well, man. Captain Tolton. Parry, Uncle. What happened?

I was about to ask you the same question. Shawfoot's had my wife, and they have the weapon. He turns to, like, a wooden post in the building and just punches it once solidly. But it's okay because there's a real complicated... I don't know this. Never mind. You don't know the complicated thing I do.

I just know they've got the weapon. I'm like, shoot. I don't know if they're going to be able to open it. There's a gnomish lock on it. It looks complicated. But they've got it. I'm going to send a runner to the gnomes. It's time we made peace.

That's a good idea. I need you to know something, Captain. Hmm? What I do next is not going to be peace. But like, gnomes are cool. No, not with the gnomes. Gnomes are good. Just with the surefoots. As

acting commander of the town militia and leader now, I should say, after he has turned upon his own people, leader of Jaren's outpost, you have my full permission to wage war. Good. My eyes light up.

Get off the reservation, friend. Captain O'Rourke. Yes, sir. Gather, well, gather what you need. I'll be with you shortly. He marches off. Can I be made an honorary officer? Never mind.

Forget it. It's fine. It's stupid. I'll be with you shortly. He marches off. Can I be made an honorary officer? Never mind. Forget this head of institute. It's fine. Oh, before he, like, leaves, he turns around. I think you should know. He's a dragon. Damien Eaton. He's a dragon. Twist.

Excuse me? Sir. Eaton leaves. In the vault. Oh, yes. I guess we're off getting ready now. Excuse me? Sir? Eaton leaves. In the vault! Yes! Oh, yeah. I guess we're off getting ready now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fuckface, what's your name? Greg Pierce. Greg Pierce. It's a pleasure. You come to. You're awoken by the sounds of funk, funk, funk, funk, funk. The gears and mechanisms on the inside of the door are slowly unlocking. I quickly stand up and try not to look like I was just unconscious.

Like, in those seconds I get up and just lean up against the wall. Except for a blanket. You straighten out your hair as best you can, lean up against the... Fix my eyebrows. Lean up against the door, maybe, like, pull your tunic so that it's sitting right. Yep. Lean up against the door, maybe like pull your tunic so that it's sitting right. The door slowly swings open and you see for the first time ever a man you've really only heard about.

Damien Eaton is two things. A dragon secretly. Wild eyed and as nude as the day he was born. Have like a moment of shock. Compose myself. Bigger than I thought it would be. Not what I expected. Be like, uh, Damien Eaton, you've been robbed.

Damien Eaton steps inside the vault, and by the magical light in the vault you can see that he is drenched in gore look him up and down, say nothing he also says nothing he moves around the vault and he starts touching the walls as he touches the walls

you know those like in a bank vault you got all those little safety deposit boxes? When he touches them, they reveal themselves. Or maybe you haven't. He starts opening them and looking through them. What did you take, he says, very calmly. I took nothing. Originally, I'll admit, I was here to take something, but the wonderful thing...

Stop your babbling! Right. Fair. No, I took nothing, but I can tell you who did take it. The Shortfoots. You don't know that. Oh, I don't. Alright, I can tell you who did take it. He whips around. Who? Little halfling fella,

Leo Shadow. And an orc by the name of Periwinkle O'Rourke. He's a god. Leo Shadow? Yeah, Leo Shadow. I know the orc. I don't know, little halfling. I Shadow? Yeah, Leo Shadow. I know the orc. Leo Shadow. I don't know, a little halfling. Leading art. I can give you a rough description. I don't really know who he's affiliated with, but yeah.

I've got secrets on everyone else if you want. Yes. Excellent. I do ask something in return. That's fair, right? Quib for quib? He takes a step forward. Well, of course.

I'd like my soul. Grant, what information do you have? I'd like to divulge everything I know about every group I'm affiliated with. This is the most great piece of manoeuvre. Everything about the Little O family, everything about the Quiet Knives, everything about the Shorefoots, however much I know about them, everything about the guards, everything about the Sabres, everything about the Blood Cultives, everything about the Shorefoots, however much I know about them, everything about the guards, everything about the Sabres, everything about the Blood Cult.

Am I missing anyone? I think that's it. Yeah. You're missing an eye. Yeah, you would have wanted to be like, oh, fuck. Well, they did me one kindness, I guess. Well, I suppose as long as we're trading things and I'm giving your soul back,

maybe it's my turn to take something. Right. How attached are you to your shadow? Back to... Not terribly. Also, quick question. Did we end up taking his loot? Or did one of the Thursdays drop it?

We got everything. The Thursday that lived has the loot. Oh, good, good, good. Good. He literally has nothing but a blanket. Fantastic. I'm actually just joking. We're not leaving.

Pierce, with one hand, pushes you up against the wall. You maybe try to struggle, but it doesn't feel so much like a man is pushing you up against the wall. It so much feels like just a force is pushing you up against... Like a large scaly reptilian... Yeah, something like that. Anyway, he does that

and with his other hand, he puts it onto your shadow and you feel something very wrong. Like pulling down a shower curtain or something like that. Ping! Ping! You feel something very wrong Like Pulling down like a Shower curtain or something like that Ping ping ping ping ping He tears your shadow off

And throws it aside Where it slowly Collesses into a shadow you Right No shadow no soul One of the worst things that's happened to me You feel ill as fuck. Did he give you your soul back?

Yeah, about the soul. Oh, is this one of those things where I think we have a deal, but that was totally wrong. Oh, you get your soul back. It's fine. Ask your dear. Now, so long as I have your shadow and we're asking for things, what did you want? It's your turn. Well,

if you could help me take care of the sabers. Absolutely. They've got a lot of stuff on me. All right, now it's my turn. Oh, right. I see how this is going. You, until I get my weapon back,

work for me. Yeah, oh, I figured that was happening. Oh, good. Well, then I'll ask for something else. Ah, god, I figured that was happening. Oh, good. Well, then I'll ask for something else. Ah, goddammit. Come on, piss.

Well, I'll think about it and then we'll get back to you. So, how are you going to get it back for me? A weapon? Yes. Well, uh, I have to admit, burnt quite a few bridges. Take it by force could be an option. Steal it. I'm alright at stealing.

Where would they keep it? Well, I suppose the guards' headquarters would have some kind of evidence locker. You know? Something like that. Could sneak in. You can do that, can't you? Probably. With a bit of help, yeah.

Alright, good. Get to it then. Alright then. It's been a pleasure. It has. Oh, and don't forget. Get to it then. All right then. It's been a pleasure. It has. Oh, and don't forget, I have your shadow. He starts choking your shadow. Yeah, right.

Of course. Goodbye. He lets go. So long. So if you didn't, if it didn't come across, he's mad. Like an actual nut job. Yeah, no, no. I assumed.

Right. But hey, look, I'm going to get my soul back. He's mad Like an actual nut job Yeah no no I assumed Right But hey look I'm gonna get my soul back And maybe the sages Would be taking care of If it's just fucking Greg Pierce with a blanket Greg Pierce with a blanket

Is the most dangerous Kind of Greg Pierce The more you take From Greg Pierce The better he survives Can I just say It's not incorrect You've lost

Fingers Some internal organs I'm sure A couple of internal organs Your lungs battery survived. Can I just say, it's not incorrect. You've lost fingers. Some internal organs. A couple of internal organs. Your lungs, an eye. My shadow. Your shadow, your soul, all of your worldly possessions. Dignity. She left him naked. That would have been funny. That would have been especially funny

because Eton was naked. Oh, it's a naked party. That would have been great because I could have looked down at my presumably enormous dong. His dragon dong. They're touching. Oh, that'd be a funny scene if he gets right up close

and you're like, it's touching, it's touching, it's touching. There it is. All right. I try and seduce him. Really? That was like a 50-50

whether I try and seduce Eaton. That's fine. I'll start heading to the guard HQ then. Alright, cool. So now we actually will jump back to you guys. Oh, incidentally,

before he sends you on your way, he heals you back to full hit points. Thank you, Eaton. Good man. So he's strong and Greg pisses...

He's the tank. You know what? For good measure, he repairs your con damage Ah Ah What a hero I forgot I even had con damage

Can he give my eye back No Okay And I don't want to Start bargaining again Yeah he's He's like I don't

I don't even ask He's like Would you like anything else No No I do not Well I would No I'm going to take

That magnificent Dog with your eyes Can I just want to Take that magnificent dog of yours. I just want to take an ear for the hip points. You can. That's fine. Actually, you know what? He takes a couple teeth.

That's fine. Just three teeth. Good. Excellent. Good. All right. I'm going to make a necklace out of these, he says. It will be lovely.

He's a nice boy. He opens one of the drawers and just drops them in that and closes it. Who would be lovely. He's a nice boy. He opens one of the drawers and just drops them in that and closes it. Good to know. On your way. So, Captain Periwinkle and Leo, what are you doing? So we have to get the requisite

troops together and equipment, heal ourselves up, and then fuck up the shore for us. And then go to Little Lowe's. Can I also have a quick squiz what was in the red buckle bag and the blue other bag. Oh yeah. Because we got those back because they threw them back at us. Because they were like, no.

Yeah, they didn't leave them. You guys collect them. Also, I just wanted to be known that I'm now wearing Greg Piss's former cloak of resistance plus three. And his ring of protection plus one. It's a ring of protection plus one. Is there anything I can take from Greg Piss' former cloak of resistance, plus three. And his ring of protection, plus one. The ring of protection, plus one. Is there anything I can take from Gregpiss? Yeah, yeah.

There's my plus one. Oh, yeah, here, mate. Take my... There's some caltrops there if you want. No, no. I assume I just have the blank stuff. I just want the magical stuff. You know another plan I had?

So, because you left me with that, I assume maybe that was stuff you didn't take. So I have a blank spell book. Yeah. I have a hunk of meat and I have holy water. And I was like, if I pour the holy water on a hunk of meat and I have holy water and I was like, if I put a holy water on the hunk of meat, it'll wet the meat

and then I open my spell book and start slamming the meat down on every page. It might look like arcane symbols. Make it a better book to, you know, make the life seem more convincing.

Yeah, I don't actually want any of these things. Thank the hunk of meat. It's good. The cloak of resistance plus what? Three. Plus three?

All right. Cheers. Oh, we also stole these weapons. Yeah. I don't have any weapons. I just have the loot. Yeah,? All right. Cheers. We also stole his weapons. Yeah. I don't have any weapons. I just have the loot. Yeah, it's gone. Yeah, I know.

I know. Do you have that loot? Yeah, I might take the loot off Thursday. Yeah. It's a loot of Keen plus something. Yeah. Yeah. It's armored loot of Keen.

So it's... Thursday, I don't need it anymore. I'm going to war. What does Keen mean? I think it's sharp. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Keen means it's more likely to score a critical hit.

Oakley doakley. So you're saving throws. I hope we have a fight with Greg Fist. And you can just smack him with his own loot. I'm going to swap the loot for the billy club that I had. Alright. So your armor class goes up from the ring of protection and your saving throws go up from the cloak of resistance. Oh, sweet.

Can we go get some healing? Get some healing and open those two baggies. You open them up and search through them as you're on your way, presumably, to the temple. Are they back? I'm assuming they're bags of holding? Yes, yeah, yeah. They both contain... We didn't have to rally any troops.

Captain was going to do it and meet us at the shore foots, I figure. That was the plan. No exact plan was made, but you assume that you're going to be meeting him back here after he's ready. Yeah, he'll send word when he's ready. Because we're going to talk to Little Lose and see what we can do starting in like, you know. Little Gang War. Little Gang War. He's not even a hint of Gang War.

He's a little soussant. A soussant. A soussant Gang War. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Squidgin'. You could send a message to your gnome girl. Tell her the Shorthoots have the weapon. I need to know if she's alive.

Actually, wait. Yeah, that'll be our second stop. We'll go her the Shorthoots have the weapon. I need to know if she's alive. Actually, wait. Yeah, that'll be our second stop. We'll go Little O's, gnomes, and then yeah. Well, no. Captain was going to take care of the gnomes. Yeah, but he needs to find out if his girlfriend's alive. Yeah. Maybe they have your girlfriend with them alive.

Maybe. I also assume I have like, do I have meat pies, like collar or something? I got to put that with the rest of the dead familiar collars. I assume I'm not very good at keeping familiars alive. No, it's just one of those It's like something in the world is like, Leo, you should not be a wizard. You're not doing it wrong. Stop it. Do you need to get a new familiar?

Is it worth it? Do you want one of my bees? I can have like a rat. A rat that isn't a familiar but is just on your person. I've got to look at how many bees I've got left. I think it takes 24 hours for me to do something. And I've got to look at how many Bs I've got left. I think it takes 24 hours. I've lost my big B. Do something. And I've lost two small Bs and one medium B.

You find 1,000 between the two of them. You find 1,200 gold coins. That'll be good for something. It was like 600 each. Yeah. You want to do that? All right. We both just crossed out 1,200.

We both assumed it was for me They did say between both of us But that actually doesn't make any sense So 600 gold Also I'm assuming you get a bag of holding And I'll get a bag of holding What? Hey

That's good Put the loot in there Put everything in the bag of holding That's a good of a bag of hold You find a solid gold idol Weighing 10 pounds Nice The idol is of Damien Eaton himself You find a solid gold idol weighing 10 pounds. Nice. The idol is of Damien Eaton himself.

So a gold idol. Is it naked Eaton or the Eaton? No, he's wearing clothes. Naked Eaton's a rare variant. I guess you just melt this down. A small masterpiece portrait in a gold frame inlaid with opal. The portrait is of a dragon A big black dragon Dubbed D.E. again

I'm guessing also Damien Eaton Yep Just a hunch Spoiler alert, they're all Damien Eaton The bags are Damien Eaton as well I think he's a bit of an egomaniac An egomaniac? Yes

You find a pellet filled with like a golden liquid. Ooh. Drink it. Just to see. What if it's just gold? A little vial of oil. When you open it up, it smells like a little fragrant. It looks like oil that you might apply to a weapon.

I'll be applying that to my weapons. Can I apply some of that oil to these bedbugs? It's one go only. All right. Do you want it on your weapon or should I put it on the gauntlets? Probably on my weapon because it does a bit more precision. I could punch through 18 people at once. Yeah, but I'm saying you don't need it.

I can't do that. Your weapon's already so big and mighty. Mine's very small. Such a manipulative little bitch. You can have the gold liquid. Look, look, look. Oh, God. Oh, it tastes awful.

It tastes like I'm a dragon now. Hey, is it dragon potion? Does it make me a dragon? It does not. What is it? Do we know anything about this gold liquid? Give me a sniff. I don't want to know.

It's a daylight pellet. You've both seen it before. So when you crack it open, when the liquid is exposed to air, it flares with the brightness of the sun, basically. It doesn't cause any heat. It's like a flashbang grenade. It'll fuck up drow and vampires. Yeah, basically it's anti-drow

vampire thing. Cool. You find a potion. The potion is Heizolos. Heiz? Labelled. It's a resist energy acid. So when you drink this potion, you will resist acid damage for a period.

I'll give that to you. All right, that'll be good. I'm assuming the black dragon is acid yeast. No, I don't even know, actually. I would have to assume. Weird that he has it, you know? To resist himself. He collected all of the resist energy acid.

And a scroll. The scroll would actually just be labelled. Yeah, it's a scroll of true seeing. So when you cast it, you can see someone's true form. Not like, I see Greg Pierce is actually an awful human being. It's more like if someone is magically concealing themselves. So it's like, oh, a dragon. Yeah.

Cool. You can keep that. I have no use for anything that does magic Fair enough You can have the resist acid potion Do I know what the vial of oil does? Can I have a little bit of like a squeeze? What is this?

It's bless weapon So when you apply it to a weapon The weapon becomes temporarily charged with holy energy Okay And does a little bit extra damage Let's see here So he's got I'll take the gold liquid shit

Yeah yeah yeah But he's got anti-like vampire stuff gold liquid shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's got anti-vampire stuff, pictures of himself, and then things that hurt him. He's a complicated man. Look, he's got layers. There's some weird stuff there. If I was weak to something, I would lock it away in a vault. Yeah, that's fine. It's like suit night keeping all the kryptonite.

But like an anti-vampire kit? His greatest weakness and fear... Vampires. Is vampires. They'll get you. And then a portrait of himself. He likes himself. He's egotistical. Egotistical?

No. Egomaniacal? Yeah, that's the one. He's maniacally egotistical. Anyway. Alright, cool. So we've got stuff. Yep, let's try and heal first maybe? Where do we heal? How can we heal? You can go to the temple, although if they aren't busy, you'll eat your hat.

Not fair. Okay, how much gold can we get? Like one big downer of cure health. Cure health. You'd go to the temple for that as well. They might be out of stock of that as well. Ah, shit. Take one you can go check. It for that as well they might be like out of stock of that as well ah shit take one you can go check maybe they've got some stocks, some supplies

would Little O be able to heal us if we bought something off him? you'd be surprised if the halfling families didn't keep at least some stock we'll go do that alright we'll go check out Little O and then we'll wait for Captain Tolton to, Commander Tolton Little O, gnomes and then we can see what... Yeah.

You're Captain overall now. That's pretty good. All right, Captain. The Captain, my Captain. All right, we'll go see Little Lo. All right. You go to the Halfling families. The Halfling district is in complete disarray.

The entire place is... Not the entire place is ablaze, but there are fires going on everywhere it looks like the dragon came through here and was not kind they're like buildings knocked over there are massive like footprints in the ground there's a lot of dead um halflings are going around piling people up on the streets this is not good this is not good Is there anyone that needs help immediately? Yes. I mean, like, there's a lot of bodies to stack, and also people

are taking apart the rubble to look for survivors. Is there anything that we can do that we should do? You could help look for survivors. You go to Little Low, I'll clean this shit up, because you're a little man. Okay. I'm gonna help clean up rubble.

You save no people. No. You kill people. Adam. Adam. Okay, you do what you can, Periwinkle. You go around and what you can do, though, is a lot because halflings are not nearly as strong

as you. Correct. So you do your, like, kind of the excavation equipment that they needed. Great. Just going to carry some favour with halflings. Smart. You go to... I don't help any red-headed halflings, though, if there are any. I just push them back into the rubble.

If they sound vaguely Irish, I just push them back in. Not all of them are part of the mob I can't tell at this point How's all those? Highs Fuck How's all those? Oh shit really?

Yeah How serious are you about this? Not that serious That's unfortunate What would have happened? Well, if you'd said Lowe's, nothing would have happened. But if you'd said Heye's, like, you would have actually met a member of the mob. And killed him.

And you would have crushed him, yeah. Damn it. Should have said Heye's. Oh, well. Bow-bow. So, you go to what's left of Little Lowe's restaurant. Oh, no. I'm out of a job.

See you later, Grease Boy. They're always going to need Grease. That's restaurant. Oh, no. I'm out of a job. See you later, grease boy. They're always going to need grease. That's the trick about grease. The wagon that you use to transport the grease tarpaulins is knocked over to the side. Like a bunch of the used tarpaulins are just all over the place. The grease is like kind of a hazard for people and they have to steer clear of it. You see a single halfling arm poking out from the wreckage. Oh, no.

I got to have a quick, who's arm? This would be handy if I had stayed with you, I guess. You shift some of the wreckage. It's just like a person who worked in the kitchen. Oh, man. Jimmy. Jimmy was a halfling. He's now a quarter.

He was going narrow. He was on the straight and narrow, that one. He wasn't part of it. He was going to get out. He was going halfling. He's now a quarter. He was alright. He was going narrow. He was on the straight and narrow, that one. He wasn't part of it. He was going to get out. He was going to get out. I could have been a contender. He could have been. I could have been a contender.

I could have been somebody. Instead of a bum. Yeah. Well, look. Under a building. Life on the straights, man. That's what happens. That's what happens.

Anyway, yes. Somewhere in the distance, you begin to hear violins. What the fuck is violins? It's the halfling instrument. As it's sometimes referred to. Violins, the halfling instrument.

I feel like this is going to be like a little Hobbit guitars, some people call them. It's going to be like a halfling funeral procession with Little O in it, I reckon. Is the building, anyone there? Is Papa Little O? You search around the back of the building, and you can see in like a beer garden type thing that the restaurant had, there's Little Lil sitting in a chair staring at like a plate of spaghetti.

I'm like, Little Lil, you alright? I'm fine. Where's Papa? He's at home. He's okay? He's okay. He starts shifting the spaghetti around with a fork. Do you

need some salt? Is it just not seasoned enough? Ask him, like, is he okay? Like, can I get him anything? Rosita. Where's Rosita? She was in the building. Oh, no.

My Neil, your wife. If you could somehow get a message to me, I could dig through the records to see if I could find her for him. Is she, like, do we know? Do we? I don't know. Do we? I start. He turns around. You see he I could find her for him. Is she... Do we know? I don't know. I start... He turns around and he's tearing up.

I can try. I try and move some rubble. No halfling is strong enough to do what you need it to do. I'll be back! I'll be back! I try and find O'Rourke here. Captain. My Captain O'Rourke.

Captain O'Rourke, you were, my Captain O'Rourke. Captain O'Rourke, you were just about to push a halfling back under when you realise he's got black hair and you're just like firing your eyes

not on his hair. Oh, I thought you were But you're doing good. You're making good work. You're like, not completely excavated a building,

but like three buildings in the block, you've gotten pretty much everyone that could be gotten out, not completely excavated a building, but like three buildings in the block, you've gotten pretty much everyone that could be gotten out out. Periwinkle, come Periwinkle, we need you. I need you. Okay. I'll be back, folks. I'll be back.

You charge back to where the Little O restaurant is. I'm gonna now assume like Little... A carriage is pulled up and slowly ambling out of it is a very morose looking Papa Little Lo. We need to find Papa. Is it his daughter, not granddaughter, yeah? It's his daughter.

Rosita might be under the rubble. Can you help? Oh, Ma. I'll see if I can find your daughter for you, Papa Little Lo. He just kind of like nods a little bit. Like, you can see him tearing up a little bit as well. I almost feel sorry for him.

Bring her back for me. Digging, digging through the rubble, looking for Rosita. And maybe some sneaky health potions. And maybe sneaky health potions. Heist. You're going at it for a solid half hour until finally you start reaching the kitchen You shift this massive

Wall Like an entire wall has come down Still intact You push it over so that it slams into the backyard A bunch of halflings have come and started helping you Little Little is here as well He's like finally It took him a little bit but he found himself

He finishes his spaghetti His spaghetti is going cold in the beer garden. That's the saddest thing of all. But yeah, when you shift to this massive wall, you hear like a squeaking sound almost from somewhere, like vaguely where the lard would be or the larder, where they keep like lard and stuff like that. I keep excavating.

You keep going. Highs or lows? Lows. You shift some more walls. You shift some more rubble. You pick up this massive door and as you lift it, you can tell that the door

had been propped up by the doorway and cowering underneath the door is a very dusty and slightly bruised Rosita. We saved her! Oh, good. Up we go!

Do I scoop her up out of the wreckage? She clings on to you. And then I just kind of... Little Little and Papa Little Rush over to you. I kind of awkwardly just give them back to my daughter and then just, like, stand back. Did I find any health potions? You brought my daughter back from the death!

He grabs you and he kisses you on the forehead. Orcs don't do kissing. I could never repay you. I could think of one way. Thank you. Thank you. Anything. The surefoots took my wife.

And I want to get her back. No one fucks with family. Yes! Part of the fam. I'm happy that I'm in a criminal family. Just like the end of Zootopia It's fine Little Little is like propping Rosita up As they move back to the wagon

He gestures, come with me We come back to my estate Let's go You head out of town towards the little estate Is it Zootopia? Maybe I'm imagining him as a shrew now towards the little estate. Oh. Yes. Is it Zootopia? Maybe. I'm imagining him as a shrew now. Yeah, me too.

It's easy to picture. Meanwhile. Pierce. Yes. You're making your way towards the guardhouse in the militia-controlled sector of the city. Okay, I'd like to find an alleyway where I can sneak out with a brick wall.

Do you want to duck into an alley with a brick wall? Yeah, sure. I'd like to slam my face against the brick wall and bloody myself up so I look like I've been damaged. Okay. You're going to give yourself some... Well, you're going to take some damage during that. That's fine. You're going to take a point of damage.

That's enough. Get a wound on the head, you start bleeding profusely. Fuck, this is amazing. This is like watching Greg piss in his element. Okay. And then I'd like to approach the militia. HQ, yeah. HQ.

And I'd like to start screaming, we've been compromised, we've been compromised, as I approach. We need to get everybody out, everybody out, because I remember you guys didn't tell them what you did with me. Another risky plan from Greg Pierce. Will it pay off?

Find out next time on Jaren's Outpost Hustle, a D&D is for Nerds adventure. Thanks for listening. If you want to help support the show, why not become a member at SandsPantsPlus.com and get early access to our shows, a bunch of exclusive content and much, much more. That's SandsPantsPlus.com.

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